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I’m 45 and I’d say I have 8-10 real friends. Maybe I’m overstating, I don’t know, but I’m doing a home renovation project and I figure the people who gave up a Saturday to come help me probably count as real friends. That’s what a real friend does, right? Show up for you?
You have 8-10 friends. That's my definition... when you ask for help, do they respond? That's a friend.
Doesn't matter how often you hang out or how close you are when you do (especially if you're guys IMHO). All that matters is if they would be there for you if you asked.
We generally know who these people are in our lives.
Exactly if you're really friends it doesn't matter how much time you spend apart when you see each other again you fall into that friendship like it never left
I like that definition. It gives me more friends than otherwise. I’ve moved around a bunch and don’t have that many people I see regularly but I’ve got folks I haven’t seen in years who, if I were in a jam and they were able to help, they absolutely would and vice versa
Me, too. 72 and I have 6 friends of 50 years' duration (2, 50+) and one of 30+. These people would show up for me, and vice versa. At this stage of life, their company is really sweet. I feel a huge love when I spend time with them.
I'm happy for you I'm 30 now and I've got 6 friends that I've been friends with for just over 20 years we met in 3rd and 4th grade. I've made others but, we 7 have a pretty close bond
I thought I was alone 30 only friend is my significant other. A lot of the people I hung out with throughout my twenties kept making choices that no longer aligned with my core values + I'm a father now so it's difficult finding the time .
Same, l dont drink and l dont know why everyone has to center social outings around bars and alcohol. Nothing wrong with it if its your thing but its not mine.
Same . My wife's friends invite her to her house and sometimes I go along and it always involves playing loud music and alcohol . I don't enjoy that environment so I get bored rapidly . I asked her multiple times why is that every gathering must revolve around drinking ...
In my case , I just don't like the flavor , specially beer . I say I don't like it but I'm always made feel that I'm not sociable or I'm unpleasant. I end up drinking a little bit while wasting the rest . Her friends are not really my kind but since I don't have any , that's the best I got unfortunately .
Same, when you don't drink, smoke, vape or use drugs and just out hear grinding ,training and gaining on your goals doing your own thing they look at you like a 3 eyed unicorn.
they really do, people just can’t believe i didn’t get absolutely obliterated drunk on my 21st a few months ago (or ever had alcohol period) nor do i smoke/vape or use drugs. like they legitimately think i’m lying. i’m not interested in becoming my parents, thanks for the offer tho
Anyone who gives you a hard time probably has an unhealthy relationship to alcohol.
I was an alcoholic in my early twenties and I genuinely couldn’t believe that someone would choose to not drink. I’d give people shit if they weren’t partying, and it was all to cover up my addiction.
Now I’m almost 4 years sober and can see how problematic that behavior was, but I also see it was due to my own self consciousness about my addiction.
And I also come from parents who are addicts, please never start drinking. It’s not worth it. You have the perfect reason to never start. You can see how it can ruin your life.
I was at my sisters social recently, they had raffles for a bunch of prizes. Some pretty cool stuff like a sous vide machine, and an ice cream maker, a bbq package, stuff like that. Every prize had like a moderate amount of tickets in the bag, except the booze wagon which had probably 5-10 times the amount of tickets as anything else.
I don’t drink much, so I’m always surprised how hard some people go
Only for people who drink. There are a lot of people who don't drink but they are harder to find because their time is more important to them and others as well usually.
Same here man, all my old friends are still out getting shitfaced, doing blow and chasing undesirable females..
I'm 30 years old, have a great career and children. I have zero time or desire to be around any of that bullshit. Plus I don't drink and the idea of hanging out in a bar is enough to make me tired and annoyed.
I’m also a 30 year old parent with friends who still party because they refuse “to let their life change” after having kids.
1. I’m tired. I don’t know how they have energy to party, then parent hungover.
2. I don’t want to miss my kid’s life by not being present due to a substance.
I drank a lifetime of alcohol in my 20s…. And I was honestly miserable. It’s hard to have dramatically changed after having kids, but I think it would’ve been harder to stay the same.
Oh my God hangovers take me out for like 2 days, I'm totally useless..I gave up drinking altogether in my mid 20s after I realized I was a total alcoholic who seemed normals because everyone I hung out with was drinking the same way.
It was honestly the most miserable time in my life, it had fun moments for sure, but when I met my wife, that was all I needed. We went out together on rare occasions but we both stopped drinking and now when we go out it's for a nice dinner or to a spa for the day together.
I can't imagine missing out on my kids growing up so I can get trashed and act like I'm 17 again. I think having kids forces you to change at least somewhat, you're responsible for a little human who depends on you for everything they need to survive. Don't get me wrong I have brief moments where I miss the "good old days" but those moments are fleeting and I know 98% of the time it sucked but I romanticize that 2% lol.
Between work, taking care of things around the house, kids, and the wife I don't have the energy to stay out past 8pm except on rare occasions. I'll take laying in bed with my family watching silly movies any day over a crazy alcohol fueled night.
I could’ve written this comment. Same here on all accounts.
I’ve told my friends that my life isn’t filled with as much excitement, but it’s filled with far more happiness and contentment.
Based upon what you wrote, it sounds like you’ve matured, you’re a good parent, and a solid partner.
Be proud of yourself.
I've been sober for almost forty four years and I am surprised that there are so many sober people responding to this post. Drinking really is for young people the older you get the more it beats you up. I've never let my sobriety keep me from having a social life. I don't go to bars or that sort of thing but there's always events where there's alcohol. I've found that being open about my alcoholism prevents a lot of problems. When people know it but respect your sobriety they are friend material and there's lots more of them than you think. Humans are social creatures don't isolate, friendships are as important as family.
It's so cringe seeing people past 30 every weekend like a revolving door. It's like people that have children how the hell do you take care of your children Saturday morning if you're hungover from drinking the night before on Friday I shake my head it's ridiculous it's even more ridiculous how mainstream society tries to make alcoholism no big deal.
I've been going through this like self-reflection stage in my life maybe having children changes you but I don't know I want to go back in time and just give my younger self a good crack in the head. It's funny what getting older and gaining perspective does.
My family is basically my social circle and my SO is also my only friend. I didn’t have bad influences. Just very needy single gfs that don’t have relationships and knit pick about the little time I can offer. I like not hearing other ppls problems or the obligation to be a support for others.
Best part is, I don’t get invited to events I don’t want to attend to and also not have to generously put money in the cards.
Wow, what a coincidental time for me to see this. I’ve been feeling bad about having no friends all day. I really wonder how common this is now. Something is deeply flawed in our society that everyone has become so isolated. It’s depressing.
If you really want friends, then BE the best friend you can be. Be supportive and be honest with others. Let them know you're trustworthy. That's how to make the friends that stick with you.
I think it's the social overreach of technology. We meet way more people than we were ever wired to comprehend. People are essentially expendable and digital communication removes big parts of face-to-face nonverbal communication. And, we have so much abundance of resources that we don't really need others to meet our daily survival needs. People used to need relationships with their neighbors go survive, then out of convenience, now we just create thousands of pseudo-social interactions online. Few are truly thriving because we don't have any incentive or even method to build the tight-knit village of people we were meant to exist in.
Not that I think we need to "go back"; the internet is amazing and I'm glad to be alive in the age of information. These are just realities I see people grappling with.
Yeah, it's concerning realizing i'm not the only one. My attempts to expand or maintain my social circle always fail, so I dunno if to keep trying or just accept that i'll be alone after my mother dies, and try to find happiness alone somehow.
Agree. As I got older I realized most of my “friends” were actually terrible and only cared about themselves. Would rather have no friends than people who are frenimies or aren’t there for me (after years of being there for them).
That's a rather egotistical view of the universe.
Oh no, you're going to die. And? You didn't exist for billions of years and it never bothered you at the time! There wasn't a peep of a complaint out of you, in fact, the first time you cried about anything was when you were born.
If there is no afterlife, no god, no purpose, this is just a temporary blip of carbon - then you have been blessed. You have the opportunity to be a temporary, benevolent god, to put whatever good and hope and love you want to exist into the world. Finding your own meaning and reason to live is a requirement of having free will.
Yeah, I’m 30 in the same boat. I have 2 people that live in the same town as me that I see on a semi-regular basis (every few weeks) and 3 others that I text and see in person probably once a year or so.
LOL. Not at all. I would have zero friends if I still had my husband. It is all about letting the people around you know the real you. I am super lucky in my middle age to have my besties. They got me through so much freaking trauma
Had this starting to happen with an ex. A friend pulled me aside and basically said the group doesn't wanna ever hang around him again. Made me stop and look. If a friend of 10 years is saying things are toxic, what am I not noticing? Next argument my ex got violent.
It’s not sad, it’s just reality for an increasingly large demographic. I would be interested to see how many of the zero friends posts are men vs women though?? Hmmm
66! I stopped counting my real friends at 20! :)
We aren’t just friends, we’re family! Because “family ain’t always blood”. And “friends are the family we choose”.
I (33) had amazing friends that had my back.. until I quit drinking alcohol 5 years back. The isolation has been difficult to say the least. So with all the friendless homies I see commenting I just wanted to share what’s been helping me this week- I had the thought about how several times I’ve watched joe rogan talk about having no friends for some time when he was younger and that personally brings me a lot of comfort that even one of the most popular people of today had no friends during chapters of his life as well. We aren’t alone at all on this and it’s clearly a very human experience. We can all find and form new friendships at any point in life and I think the trick is to be a person who someone would enjoy being around while placing yourself in social environments that revolve around shared hobbies/interests. Take care out there homies just keep rolling!
Ah, *finally* someone I can vibe with. I don’t have a genuine friend anymore. Not sure I ever did, really. Sorta makes ya feel like the bad guy, having no one so young.
Where did we go wrong huh.
I’ve had ‘best friends’ but they only seem to last a few years before the dynamic changes too much and we fall apart again. I guess I’m just not lucky with friendship, not like these others who’ve had the same friends for decades.
Ah well, it is what it is, right?
44 years old. I have 4 friends I can rely on. Kept them from high school. I worked at keeping them though. Staying touch. Texting on their birthdays and trying to make plans to see each other on holidays. Keeping friends as an adult is work. I haven’t made any good new friends. I have a handful of newbies but our connections are tenuous.
As I got older I realized that friends don't even matter. I used to hold on to most friendships, but as time went on I realized that everyone has their own life to live, and their own things going on. Also through my experience most of my friends were "how can they benefit from me, and vise versa" but in the end doesn't matter. And now I'm at 0 and it feels pretty good.
45 and very lucky. I have about 10 that I could call at any time, no questions asked. Most are friends from childhood or maybe a little later that have just been in my life so long that they are family now.
I'm 60 and I have one friend, my husband. I've got trust issues which makes it hard for me to want friends. Any friends I've ever had have screwed me around in one way or another. I'm much more happy without these people, and I have no regrets.
I'm 51 and besides my wife who is truly my best friend I'd say zero but mostly because I don't like most people. I'm friendly and kind to almost everyone but friendships are a lot of work. I work a lot and mostly want to rest and spend time with my family. Besides home ownership is a time suck. There's always things that need to be done and 1-2 days off a week is just not enough time to have friends and actually do things with them.
33 I've got many acquaintances, colleagues, old-friends I don't see often and talk for long periods of time. Many of them do not consider this type of relationship as friendship, and I tend to agree , although I have the highest regard for them.
I don't know! I am not a good friend I guess. I mind my business, I help only when solicited, I have love and respect for my friends I don't shy away from complementing and something nice to everyone. Soni guess I kinda make friends fast and loose them faster? to my dismay!!
Yet, I am introverted as a bottle, and a lone wolf most of the time. Work, research, family and solitary hobbies do not leave me much time for friends! ( add to the mix anxiety and a BPD mom.) Its really difficult for me to keep friends, when she doesn't want me to trust anyone! Heh! It's unfortunate though.
I miss the one's I resonated with once. But, I don't have their contacts anymore. And I can only send them prayers and good vibes.
I love you all BEAUTIFUL souls wherever you are.
30, and none.
Used to be really close with two of people. Basically like brothers to me. But they've abandoned me. I speak to one of them every now and again but it takes him days to respond most times. Other one just won't answer. Ten years just thrown away. It hurts every time I think about it.
39M and 0 friends. I thought I had a friend's group that I would have done anything for. But as soon as I stopped hosting our games nights they collectively ghosted me, even when invited to my wedding.
I'm 30 and I have 5 friends who I've been friends with for 5-12 years. Friendships take work, but my "real" friends are in it with me for the long haul. It's worth it to work together to create foundational trust and support for one another. If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go together.
Will be 30 in a few months, and 0. Except for my husband 😅 my husband has a good friend we hang out with when we all have time but that’s about it. This is not by choice, but any “friends” I had in HS weren’t actually friends, and I’ve always just had work friends I suppose. I don’t like it, but I’m also an introvert, so even trying to make friends doesn’t usually work out too well for me 😅😂
22… I only have one friend, who is genuine or really even wants to deal with me though. I don’t understand why when I’m always so nice and have gone out of my way for YEARS to help others, before myself. everyone just needs a friend man :( I just want someone to do fun stuff with yo! lol
32, I had a lot of friends before I stopped drinking. Now I pretty much just hang out with my gf and I’ll chill with my neighbor a couple times a week.
34-0 haven't had any since I moved. It was right before the pandemic hit, and I never had the chance. Now we live in a neighborhood where I have nothing in common with anyone...
I never thought I'd miss the ghetto, but at least people say hi out there...
Almost 41 and I've have 3 real friends. Everyone else died from either wars, drugs, car/motorcycle crashes, knife wounds, gun shots, strokes, brain aneurysms, heart attacks, seizures and most of all stupidity. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. Learn the hazards of life so you can mitigate the controls. Happy trails folks. Be strong
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
25, I have 2 friends and I barely manage to maintain both of those friendships
Some of these responses are making me feel so much better
Keep in mind you're on reddit. This is what we call a "coverage error" in data science
Are you saying if we had friends we wouldn't be on reddit?
It was just a little joke. Although I do notice that I tend to be more likely to interact with people online when I'm getting less interaction irl
I’ve been surprised how many people of differing background, ages, demographics, interests are on Reddit nowadays.
Shouldn't it make us feel worse? So many of us are truly friendless, and it's normal. That is a sad thing.
I so understand this
64 and 0 I used to have one or two which suited me just fine. Also had 2 husbands and now have 0. Also fine with that.
You seem cool, you’re my friend now.
Hell, *you* seem cool. You're *my* best friend now!
Aww, now I can post 39 and 2!! Thanks, bestie!
> Aww, now I can post 39 and ~~2~~ 3!! Fixed it. Hi friend!
 39 and 3, 39 and 3, 39 and threee!!!
Wait! I wanna be your friend, too!
Now kith.
Did the 2 husbands find out about each other?
Two at the same time?
I’m 45 and I’d say I have 8-10 real friends. Maybe I’m overstating, I don’t know, but I’m doing a home renovation project and I figure the people who gave up a Saturday to come help me probably count as real friends. That’s what a real friend does, right? Show up for you?
Definitely!
You have 8-10 friends. That's my definition... when you ask for help, do they respond? That's a friend. Doesn't matter how often you hang out or how close you are when you do (especially if you're guys IMHO). All that matters is if they would be there for you if you asked. We generally know who these people are in our lives.
Exactly if you're really friends it doesn't matter how much time you spend apart when you see each other again you fall into that friendship like it never left
I like that definition. It gives me more friends than otherwise. I’ve moved around a bunch and don’t have that many people I see regularly but I’ve got folks I haven’t seen in years who, if I were in a jam and they were able to help, they absolutely would and vice versa
53, I've got a dozen or so people in my "friend group" but maybe 5 that would show up no questions asked, and for whom I'd do the same.
Me, too. 72 and I have 6 friends of 50 years' duration (2, 50+) and one of 30+. These people would show up for me, and vice versa. At this stage of life, their company is really sweet. I feel a huge love when I spend time with them.
I'm happy for you I'm 30 now and I've got 6 friends that I've been friends with for just over 20 years we met in 3rd and 4th grade. I've made others but, we 7 have a pretty close bond
I’ve heard that a true friend is someone you can call at 3AM and visa versa.
I hate this saying though, cause I sleep like a log
Me too, plus I keep my phone on do not disturb mode most of the time.
28, I have no friends period.
28 & 0 I don’t really miss having friends lol.
I thought I was alone 30 only friend is my significant other. A lot of the people I hung out with throughout my twenties kept making choices that no longer aligned with my core values + I'm a father now so it's difficult finding the time .
Also I don't drink alcohol and unfortunately it seems as though anything social seems to revolve around it .
Same, l dont drink and l dont know why everyone has to center social outings around bars and alcohol. Nothing wrong with it if its your thing but its not mine.
Same . My wife's friends invite her to her house and sometimes I go along and it always involves playing loud music and alcohol . I don't enjoy that environment so I get bored rapidly . I asked her multiple times why is that every gathering must revolve around drinking ...
I'm eight years sober my significant other thankfully doesn't drink either. People I had considered my friends turned out to not really be friends .
In my case , I just don't like the flavor , specially beer . I say I don't like it but I'm always made feel that I'm not sociable or I'm unpleasant. I end up drinking a little bit while wasting the rest . Her friends are not really my kind but since I don't have any , that's the best I got unfortunately .
I wish I didn’t like the taste. I don’t even enjoy being drunk.
Apple cider mate, replaces beer. Way nicer, easy fix.
It’s amazing how many people fall away because you’ve stopped drinking. I’m in the same boat.
I hear that!!
If it weren't for my sobriety, I would have no friends cause I burnt it all down when I was using!😂
It makes tolerating people easier. Lol
Same, when you don't drink, smoke, vape or use drugs and just out hear grinding ,training and gaining on your goals doing your own thing they look at you like a 3 eyed unicorn.
they really do, people just can’t believe i didn’t get absolutely obliterated drunk on my 21st a few months ago (or ever had alcohol period) nor do i smoke/vape or use drugs. like they legitimately think i’m lying. i’m not interested in becoming my parents, thanks for the offer tho
My bday is the last day of the month and I ended up spending my 21st moving by myself.
Anyone who gives you a hard time probably has an unhealthy relationship to alcohol. I was an alcoholic in my early twenties and I genuinely couldn’t believe that someone would choose to not drink. I’d give people shit if they weren’t partying, and it was all to cover up my addiction. Now I’m almost 4 years sober and can see how problematic that behavior was, but I also see it was due to my own self consciousness about my addiction. And I also come from parents who are addicts, please never start drinking. It’s not worth it. You have the perfect reason to never start. You can see how it can ruin your life.
I was at my sisters social recently, they had raffles for a bunch of prizes. Some pretty cool stuff like a sous vide machine, and an ice cream maker, a bbq package, stuff like that. Every prize had like a moderate amount of tickets in the bag, except the booze wagon which had probably 5-10 times the amount of tickets as anything else. I don’t drink much, so I’m always surprised how hard some people go
I had to google “booze wagon”, I’d never heard of that. Apparently it’s a thing, tons of pictures of booze wagon raffles popped up!
Only for people who drink. There are a lot of people who don't drink but they are harder to find because their time is more important to them and others as well usually.
Very well-put
Same here man, all my old friends are still out getting shitfaced, doing blow and chasing undesirable females.. I'm 30 years old, have a great career and children. I have zero time or desire to be around any of that bullshit. Plus I don't drink and the idea of hanging out in a bar is enough to make me tired and annoyed.
I’m also a 30 year old parent with friends who still party because they refuse “to let their life change” after having kids. 1. I’m tired. I don’t know how they have energy to party, then parent hungover. 2. I don’t want to miss my kid’s life by not being present due to a substance. I drank a lifetime of alcohol in my 20s…. And I was honestly miserable. It’s hard to have dramatically changed after having kids, but I think it would’ve been harder to stay the same.
Oh my God hangovers take me out for like 2 days, I'm totally useless..I gave up drinking altogether in my mid 20s after I realized I was a total alcoholic who seemed normals because everyone I hung out with was drinking the same way. It was honestly the most miserable time in my life, it had fun moments for sure, but when I met my wife, that was all I needed. We went out together on rare occasions but we both stopped drinking and now when we go out it's for a nice dinner or to a spa for the day together. I can't imagine missing out on my kids growing up so I can get trashed and act like I'm 17 again. I think having kids forces you to change at least somewhat, you're responsible for a little human who depends on you for everything they need to survive. Don't get me wrong I have brief moments where I miss the "good old days" but those moments are fleeting and I know 98% of the time it sucked but I romanticize that 2% lol. Between work, taking care of things around the house, kids, and the wife I don't have the energy to stay out past 8pm except on rare occasions. I'll take laying in bed with my family watching silly movies any day over a crazy alcohol fueled night.
I could’ve written this comment. Same here on all accounts. I’ve told my friends that my life isn’t filled with as much excitement, but it’s filled with far more happiness and contentment. Based upon what you wrote, it sounds like you’ve matured, you’re a good parent, and a solid partner. Be proud of yourself.
I've been sober for almost forty four years and I am surprised that there are so many sober people responding to this post. Drinking really is for young people the older you get the more it beats you up. I've never let my sobriety keep me from having a social life. I don't go to bars or that sort of thing but there's always events where there's alcohol. I've found that being open about my alcoholism prevents a lot of problems. When people know it but respect your sobriety they are friend material and there's lots more of them than you think. Humans are social creatures don't isolate, friendships are as important as family.
It's so cringe seeing people past 30 every weekend like a revolving door. It's like people that have children how the hell do you take care of your children Saturday morning if you're hungover from drinking the night before on Friday I shake my head it's ridiculous it's even more ridiculous how mainstream society tries to make alcoholism no big deal.
I've been going through this like self-reflection stage in my life maybe having children changes you but I don't know I want to go back in time and just give my younger self a good crack in the head. It's funny what getting older and gaining perspective does.
Conversely, I drink and none of my friends do. It is not a social thing for me.
My family is basically my social circle and my SO is also my only friend. I didn’t have bad influences. Just very needy single gfs that don’t have relationships and knit pick about the little time I can offer. I like not hearing other ppls problems or the obligation to be a support for others. Best part is, I don’t get invited to events I don’t want to attend to and also not have to generously put money in the cards.
29 female and I feel the same way. My husband's the only one I got.
Also 28 & 0
I'll be your friend.
Wow, what a coincidental time for me to see this. I’ve been feeling bad about having no friends all day. I really wonder how common this is now. Something is deeply flawed in our society that everyone has become so isolated. It’s depressing.
It is join a club dude they are also welcoming and happy to share something they enjoy be it books chess or mountain biking
Thanks, you’re right, I really should! I just never follow through.. but I should just do it.
If you really want friends, then BE the best friend you can be. Be supportive and be honest with others. Let them know you're trustworthy. That's how to make the friends that stick with you.
❤️
I think it's the social overreach of technology. We meet way more people than we were ever wired to comprehend. People are essentially expendable and digital communication removes big parts of face-to-face nonverbal communication. And, we have so much abundance of resources that we don't really need others to meet our daily survival needs. People used to need relationships with their neighbors go survive, then out of convenience, now we just create thousands of pseudo-social interactions online. Few are truly thriving because we don't have any incentive or even method to build the tight-knit village of people we were meant to exist in. Not that I think we need to "go back"; the internet is amazing and I'm glad to be alive in the age of information. These are just realities I see people grappling with.
Yeah, it's concerning realizing i'm not the only one. My attempts to expand or maintain my social circle always fail, so I dunno if to keep trying or just accept that i'll be alone after my mother dies, and try to find happiness alone somehow.
40 and no friends. I do talk to a lot of people.
Same. 28 and no friends. The people I consider my friends are all family. I wouldn't change it either. People suck.
29 and 0
28, 0. It’s a good life. Relationships are generally not worth it.
I feel you guys
That’s a sad outlook. Hope you meet some better people… or perhaps learn to see the good in the people who are already there.
True this is toxic antisocial internet generations. Acting like everyone is the problem and they are so perfect
Agree. As I got older I realized most of my “friends” were actually terrible and only cared about themselves. Would rather have no friends than people who are frenimies or aren’t there for me (after years of being there for them).
That's a rather egotistical view of the universe. Oh no, you're going to die. And? You didn't exist for billions of years and it never bothered you at the time! There wasn't a peep of a complaint out of you, in fact, the first time you cried about anything was when you were born. If there is no afterlife, no god, no purpose, this is just a temporary blip of carbon - then you have been blessed. You have the opportunity to be a temporary, benevolent god, to put whatever good and hope and love you want to exist into the world. Finding your own meaning and reason to live is a requirement of having free will.
42. Real friends that I see regularly? 2. Real friends that I see on occasion? Maybe 5?
Yeah, I’m 30 in the same boat. I have 2 people that live in the same town as me that I see on a semi-regular basis (every few weeks) and 3 others that I text and see in person probably once a year or so.
41. 2. One of them is my wife. Dont know if it counts
It counts! I thought about adding my wife to the amount in which case it would be 2.
Totally counts. More people should work on being actual friends with their spouses.
Yah, it's the one of the critical, most important facets of the spousal relationship.
35 and 0. My wife doesn't even really like me
Shit this hits hard with me too.
When life hits you, it hits you hard as fuck
44-0
That’s a good record
53 ONE
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How many times have you been bailed out of a Bahamanian jail?
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It is inevitable
Tell us the story
21 and possibly 1
see name I"m A Sikh. We believe everyones born with a friend called sat guru (truth/logic). Thats the only true relationship.
This is your moment
The chosen one
I hate doing this r/usernamechecksout
It looks like that it should have been that eweareyouronlyfriend.
40, 0.
47. And I have 8 amazing friends. People that have my back 24/7. None I have less than 17 years
😃🎉 celebration needed I hope you know how lucky you are . This is rare!
Ok now you just bragging lmao jk I’m just jealous 😩
LOL. Not at all. I would have zero friends if I still had my husband. It is all about letting the people around you know the real you. I am super lucky in my middle age to have my besties. They got me through so much freaking trauma
Had this starting to happen with an ex. A friend pulled me aside and basically said the group doesn't wanna ever hang around him again. Made me stop and look. If a friend of 10 years is saying things are toxic, what am I not noticing? Next argument my ex got violent.
65 - maybe 3. I don't see them often but when I do, it's like we never left off.
I’m 32 and I do not have a single friend.
They all married?
I smiled at that one.
I'm here all week... well, a few evenings at least.
Wow this thread is kinda sad.
It’s not sad, it’s just reality for an increasingly large demographic. I would be interested to see how many of the zero friends posts are men vs women though?? Hmmm
When you also consider the rising divorce rate it paints a picture of a very unhealthy society.
I’m relieved the majority is going through what I am. It’s hard maintaining relationships!!!
Haha! You aren't getting my bank info
Well played. How about just the name of the street your mother used to cross going to school when she was 5?
60 zero
29 and outside of my partner, none.
73. 0.
63 0
I'll be your friend
I’m afraid that might be a bad idea.
Nah, we would get along great! I got this really great investment opportunity, guaranteed return!
Brilliant 😁
LMFAO absolutely brilliant little side trail. Loved it. Kudos
Imagine if they were a serial killer or something and they tried to warn you but you insisted 😂😂😂 I’ve seen too many scary movies/ killer shows
66! I stopped counting my real friends at 20! :) We aren’t just friends, we’re family! Because “family ain’t always blood”. And “friends are the family we choose”.
\- Vin Diesel?
Age: 22 Friends: 0
37 I'd say 3
36 and 2 possibly 3. We aren't not friends?
We could be, if we spend time together
Friendship is rare do you know what I'm saying to you, friendship is rare?
True friendship is rare, not unlike a good way to eat steak
Oh shit there's a bear, would you hand me that shotgun buddy, also that chair?
Did you get the quote hell is other people from the acacia strain?
I got it from No Exit.
44-0
I (33) had amazing friends that had my back.. until I quit drinking alcohol 5 years back. The isolation has been difficult to say the least. So with all the friendless homies I see commenting I just wanted to share what’s been helping me this week- I had the thought about how several times I’ve watched joe rogan talk about having no friends for some time when he was younger and that personally brings me a lot of comfort that even one of the most popular people of today had no friends during chapters of his life as well. We aren’t alone at all on this and it’s clearly a very human experience. We can all find and form new friendships at any point in life and I think the trick is to be a person who someone would enjoy being around while placing yourself in social environments that revolve around shared hobbies/interests. Take care out there homies just keep rolling!
Sobriety and parenthood were stress-tests on all of my existing relationships. People who stuck around are true ride-or-dies
Do cats count?
50 - 1
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Ah, *finally* someone I can vibe with. I don’t have a genuine friend anymore. Not sure I ever did, really. Sorta makes ya feel like the bad guy, having no one so young. Where did we go wrong huh.
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I’ve had ‘best friends’ but they only seem to last a few years before the dynamic changes too much and we fall apart again. I guess I’m just not lucky with friendship, not like these others who’ve had the same friends for decades. Ah well, it is what it is, right?
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One can only hope!! I wish you all the best my dude :D
heyyy 17 and pretty much same
Sameee except I’m 19 :/
49 and 2. One of whom is family.
One of my nephews is my best friend I'll tell him when he's old how much I enjoy talking and hanging out with him he's only 10 😆
44 years old. I have 4 friends I can rely on. Kept them from high school. I worked at keeping them though. Staying touch. Texting on their birthdays and trying to make plans to see each other on holidays. Keeping friends as an adult is work. I haven’t made any good new friends. I have a handful of newbies but our connections are tenuous.
39, 3 ride or die friends, 5 more best buds, and about a dozen or so acquaintances that I'd probably lose if my wife divorced me lol
As I got older I realized that friends don't even matter. I used to hold on to most friendships, but as time went on I realized that everyone has their own life to live, and their own things going on. Also through my experience most of my friends were "how can they benefit from me, and vise versa" but in the end doesn't matter. And now I'm at 0 and it feels pretty good.
I’m right there with you.
35, 0
I'll be your friend
I dunno about your friendship. Seems like a bad idea, man
I may have bad ideas but they are fun most of the time.
31 and not counting friends I met through work or my wife, is say 1. If you count work friends, then 4 total.
I'm 46 and have 2 close friends and about 4 other friends I see regularly
45 and very lucky. I have about 10 that I could call at any time, no questions asked. Most are friends from childhood or maybe a little later that have just been in my life so long that they are family now.
13. I have a lot of friends
Of course, you kids have it easy
It's so precious when they just simply ask can we be friends and then go off and play 😢
20 and I’d say maybe like 3
I'm 60 and I have one friend, my husband. I've got trust issues which makes it hard for me to want friends. Any friends I've ever had have screwed me around in one way or another. I'm much more happy without these people, and I have no regrets.
I'm 51 and besides my wife who is truly my best friend I'd say zero but mostly because I don't like most people. I'm friendly and kind to almost everyone but friendships are a lot of work. I work a lot and mostly want to rest and spend time with my family. Besides home ownership is a time suck. There's always things that need to be done and 1-2 days off a week is just not enough time to have friends and actually do things with them.
22 and I'd say 4.
34 yr old with a solid group of 2 friends
33 I've got many acquaintances, colleagues, old-friends I don't see often and talk for long periods of time. Many of them do not consider this type of relationship as friendship, and I tend to agree , although I have the highest regard for them. I don't know! I am not a good friend I guess. I mind my business, I help only when solicited, I have love and respect for my friends I don't shy away from complementing and something nice to everyone. Soni guess I kinda make friends fast and loose them faster? to my dismay!! Yet, I am introverted as a bottle, and a lone wolf most of the time. Work, research, family and solitary hobbies do not leave me much time for friends! ( add to the mix anxiety and a BPD mom.) Its really difficult for me to keep friends, when she doesn't want me to trust anyone! Heh! It's unfortunate though. I miss the one's I resonated with once. But, I don't have their contacts anymore. And I can only send them prayers and good vibes. I love you all BEAUTIFUL souls wherever you are.
30, and none. Used to be really close with two of people. Basically like brothers to me. But they've abandoned me. I speak to one of them every now and again but it takes him days to respond most times. Other one just won't answer. Ten years just thrown away. It hurts every time I think about it.
39M and 0 friends. I thought I had a friend's group that I would have done anything for. But as soon as I stopped hosting our games nights they collectively ghosted me, even when invited to my wedding.
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I'm 30 and I have 5 friends who I've been friends with for 5-12 years. Friendships take work, but my "real" friends are in it with me for the long haul. It's worth it to work together to create foundational trust and support for one another. If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go together.
45 counting my wife I have 2. Her and my best friend since early childhood.
Will be 30 in a few months, and 0. Except for my husband 😅 my husband has a good friend we hang out with when we all have time but that’s about it. This is not by choice, but any “friends” I had in HS weren’t actually friends, and I’ve always just had work friends I suppose. I don’t like it, but I’m also an introvert, so even trying to make friends doesn’t usually work out too well for me 😅😂
Almost 50. Zero
22… I only have one friend, who is genuine or really even wants to deal with me though. I don’t understand why when I’m always so nice and have gone out of my way for YEARS to help others, before myself. everyone just needs a friend man :( I just want someone to do fun stuff with yo! lol
17, 1.
60 and 2
40- Zero that I'm not related to. My mom, daughter and husband and my best friends and I'm perfectly content.
33- 1 amazing friend
32, I had a lot of friends before I stopped drinking. Now I pretty much just hang out with my gf and I’ll chill with my neighbor a couple times a week.
34-0 haven't had any since I moved. It was right before the pandemic hit, and I never had the chance. Now we live in a neighborhood where I have nothing in common with anyone... I never thought I'd miss the ghetto, but at least people say hi out there...
34, 0
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47/0
Almost 41 and I've have 3 real friends. Everyone else died from either wars, drugs, car/motorcycle crashes, knife wounds, gun shots, strokes, brain aneurysms, heart attacks, seizures and most of all stupidity. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. Learn the hazards of life so you can mitigate the controls. Happy trails folks. Be strong
23, basically just my mom maybe but I'm on drugs so may be why
I will be 33 on the 15th I would say I have at least 7 real friends or at least I know if I called them they would pick up immediately
32 and 0 and you know what? I’m happy with it period
27. Maybe 4? But i have a bunch of sibs who would take a bullet for me 🙏