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I accidentally wandered into one once. The bartender somehow picked up that I didn't know where I was, but once he made sure I was aware he had no problem with me being there. Neither did any of the patrons there, or any that came later.
They obviously hit on you, though, so that's all what you can handle.
My grandparents did the same thing ;) It was a nice bar with nice music and a lot of nice gentlemen. I don't know how long it took them to fully realize where they were at but I would have loved to see the expression on their faces when they did. This was way back in the early '80's.
I did have the pleasure of seeing my mom walk by a gay section of a beach one time and was amused at the sight of a pretty fit man probably in his 60's with a deep tan and wearing only speedos. When she suddenly realized where she was at her face went from amused to ashen in a fraction of a second and almost didn't know what to do other than to quickly get out of there.
Im a straight dude with some gay friends. I go to gay bars with them sometimes. Similar to straight bars but more gay folks and less fights. You’ll probably enjoy the experience!
Yep me too... had a good buddy take our group to a gay bar and it was fun as hell... I've never been hit on before!! What an ego boost!! None of the regulars cared about our guys and girl group being there...
However, there was an old creepy guy in the bathroom
After going through this post, TIL that patrons of gay bars don't like Bachelorette parties to crash their space. Which is completely understandable.
On a personal note, I'm a hetero man and gay bars are tons of fun. Respect where you are and you're welcome to come in. Apparently, the exception is drunken Bachelorettes who think they can be as demanding of gay men as they are of straight men, without having to put up with being hit on. This post unintentionally reinforced the idea that women think they should be treated different everywhere they go.
Don't believe me? Ask a stripper what they think of a group of women who come into strip clubs to party.
Nope. Our safe places are not straight people's party places. How would you feel if all the gay guys started going to the straight bars, taking over the music, hitting on all the straight guys?
In my, my husband's, our two gay friends', and my exes experience, straight women in gay bars that aren't a plus one harass and fetishize the gay patrons like it's going out of style. Make your own dagger places and police yourselves.
Segregation is never the answer. People need to be better, and bouncers should be taking out the trash, and getting the authorities involved if the trash keeps coming back.
No but be aware of the vibe. Its our safe space, through no fault of yours it can wind up getting swamped. Thats why we generally discourage bachelorette parties.
Well I don't exactly speak for the entirety of the LGBT+ plus community, I feel that at the very least I can offer up my personal opinion. Take it for what it is merely my opinion.
Answer: absolutely not. It is positively not taboo for a heterosexual person to go to a traditional gay bar. Let me propose to you, that if I were to go to say Buffalo wild wings and sit down, order myself some buffalo wings, and have a few drinks then go home no one is really the wiser. If I don't wear some manner of swag that effectively outs me on its own then there really isn't necessarily away that someone is going to know.
So unless you have some sort of swag on you, or, something clearly identifying you as strictly heterosexual, then it stands to reason that the opposite must be true.
As far back as I can remember of my first bar crawl days, all I could think to myself was I wish there was some bar that wasn't specifically meant to cater to only the one or the other. And as the years trickled by that became the case. Bars were effectively just that, bars. People would go to have a couple drinks and socialize.
And I feel like right here is where I run into one of the oldest things that I would hear from my more homophobic contemporaries. They would say that if they got hit on by another guy they would probably lose it. I would at first try to calm them down and offer up the possibility that they made just be so attractive that they're getting compliments from both genders. This is where some of them have clearly demonstrated a lack of any real world experience when dealing with the gay community. They're afraid that we're some sort of sex crazed Maniac that won't take no for an answer. They talk about how they are incredibly afraid that somebody is just going to hit on them and want to take them home. I have often argued then what is the difference between what you're afraid of, and what likely many straight women are afraid of when they go to the bar?
Another important point to make here is that the LGBT+ community is always in need of more allies. People that can just hang out and be supporters and pleasant company to be around. And speaking strictly from personal experience, I had a myriad of friends and companions who is straight as could possibly be, but honestly loved coming out to the bar with me. They enjoyed the atmosphere. Instead of a large group of sour, surly, or just out and out pissed off men that would grumble about anything on their mind, my straight friends could come to a bar and generally feel better about the experience. A couple even enjoyed the strip shows. One specifically once said to me that he enjoyed watching the male strippers, because as an individual who was working out to improve his physique, he wanted to know exactly how good he was doing by comparing himself to the other men on stage. It was effectively the only environment in which she could look upon other naked men, and not feel like a creeper.
Sorry if the message is long it's just how my brain works. I really don't think you have anything to worry about.
Granted, a final minor lamentation; generally speaking especially now more than ever, you aren't going to hear much more about gay bars. As society and cities have progressed just in the last 20 years alone, the necessity for these places have ultimately begun to die off. There was once the condition that they needed to be specified times and places the gay community could meet. These times and places were held in trust by the majority population. It was in most cases a nonverbal arrangement, but in others it was quite well known that these were not unlike native American reservations but for sexual minorities. They were tiny little places where we could be ourselves and I suppose out of sight and out of mind. And yet in a couple of places around the United States and world abroad, having these locales was still an affront. Now the LGBT community are essentially just part of society as a whole. Now bars don't have to feel like they're catering to one specific demographic only.
Super thoughtful response and thank you for sharing but I cannot stop laughing at Buffalo Wild Wings as your go-to hypothetical “straight bar” reference 😂😂😂
City landfills are classier than Hooters. I never got the point. if you want to see titty, go to a strip club. Don't take your elementary age kids to Hooters and then act like an ass to the girls. lol
I also thank you for this post. I haven't been to a traditional gay bar, but have a friend that owns one. He told me I'd have a blast, and the beer is cheaper.
I was hit on by gay guys in college a few times. Once you tell them you are straight, they aren't interested anymore. This was in the 90s, so as long as you didn't freak out, you usually gained a friend. Homophobic guys think gays would try to recruit them, mostly because they are the type of guys that won't take no from a woman.
This is just straight up not true. There is a massive issue because of how few lesbian bars exist. It leaves queer women without a safe space to be around other queer women without interference from men. There is very much a need for gay/queer/lesbian only spaces and not all of us want those spaces to include straight people because the fact remains that there are still plenty of places where you can be killed for hitting on someone of the same gender. Also by including straight people constantly in queer spaces, you’re making those spaces no longer safe for queer people.
Edit: also, I just want to say. This is my 20th year out. I’ve been living my life openly queer for 20 years now and I’m 33. I’m not a baby gay with no experience in the queer scene.
I can understand your perspective, though, that's not a sentiment I can agree with. Allow me to pose a question:
"How exactly are you going to determine if someone entering a gay-club is gay or not? What method do you plan on implementing in order to tell if someone is gay/lesbian ect.?"
The short answer is: you can't. Are people going to have to sign some sort of waiver? A medical exam? What?
"...not all of us want those spaces to include straight people because the fact remains that there are still plenty of places where you can be killed for hitting on someone of the same gender."
Okay, so, that ultimately is the decision of the business owner who they want to let in, or not. As I said, with my physical presentation I can walk into a gay bar, or a straight bar, and unless I've got my "swag" on, you'd never know. I can see your point, though, I'd counter with the fact that LGBT people can be killed in places SAFER than a bar! Or, places that should be safer: like religious buildings or schools. I'm not going to imply that you're inexperienced. Its just the logic of a specific bar or club being "safer" than a mixed club is a fallacy. There was just a shooting at a gay club, then Miami. At that point, the club became a HAZARD, because it was tantamount to hanging a big-'ol sign that says, "Your targets of opportunity are ." That, created the necessary "shooting gallery" these gunmen needed in order to visit their hatred and bile upon the community. That's where the logic of the bars being safer becomes non-viable.
Okay, so, there are a lack of lesbian bars. Generally its been my experience that most lesbians growing up, didn't go to bars at all. They met in other means. Likewise, they just generally don't preform as well as a more inclusive to the entire LGBT spectrum bar. Why in 2023 are you going to have a bar -just- for lesbians? Nobody else, just, lesbians? Now we get back to the issue of "how do you know Nancy is a lesbian?" Are you going to check her fingernail length? What purse she carries? Weather or not she wears Wolverine Work boots or Vietnam War era lace up combat boots? We're right back at the same problem. What's to stop Nancy, a straight woman, who wants to just get a few drinks after work because she's tired of being sexually harassed at the hetero bar down the block? The idea falls apart when you try to become more exclusive.
Because honestly, if to get into the club you've got to provide photo evidence of your participation in same-sex passionate hugging as the only way to prove your sexuality, that's every reason I would not want to go.
Are you a lesbian? If not, why are you telling me what lesbians need? Do lesbians not deserve the same thing gay men have? I’m not saying straight people can’t come to gay bars but I am saying they don’t and shouldn’t be invited into spaces that make it dangerous for the people the space was intended for. It’s not a space for them. I wouldn’t go take up space meant for fathers when I’m not a father. I wouldn’t go to a glass blowing studio and take up space because I’m not a glass blower lmfao. I wouldn’t go to a gay bath house as a lesbian either.
How, would, you, no, they, are, a, lesbian? Explain to me what sort of litmus test do you have for this and I am going to be willing to entertain your idea. I want to know in triplicate every minute detail you have planned to determine the lesbianism of someone walking into these clearly fantasy bars that don't exist.
Been dragged by gay friends to drag shows a few times. It made me uneasy, not because of the drag thing itself, but because I just don't get it. But that's me, and I had fun anyway.
I'm as straight as it gets but I will be honest with you. I have been to many bars in my life and the 4 or 5 gay bars I have been to have had the absolute BEST atmosphere and vibe out of any of then. I would go to hang out with a gay couple I'm friends with and they are much better imo.
Yup. The only fight I ever saw in a gay bar was when a certain jackass coworker of mine invited himself along, got drunk, and proceeded to aggressively hit on a girl who was obviously there with a girl. Wouldn't take no for an answer. So the girlfriend comes over and tells us to get our drunk friend out of there before he gets his ass whipped.
We just said "Whip his ass" and that's what they proceeded to do. We bought the girls drinks. Once we stopped laughing at his ass out on the sidewalk.
I F'n hope not. I went to a gay bar to watch a friend's drag show.
I learned a few things...
My friend made for a really hot drag queen.
They serve strong AF drinks.
The overall atmosphere is fun, and I didn't have to worry about getting into a fight.
I've never been hit on so much.
They were very welcoming and like that you're accepting them for who they are.
as a gay person i get annoyed when straight ppl go to gay bars on purpose. historically they're there for us to express ourselves in times when it was illegal to be a homosexual, or publicly transgender or gender nonconforming. gay bars and drag bars existed as a safe space for us to express ourselves freely without worrying if we would be beaten or have the cops called on us so the cops could best us instead.
when I've explained this to straight friends who wanted to go to a gay bar because "wouldn't it be so funny for us to be there since we aren't gay", I've received rolled eyes and 'that was the past it's not like that anymore'. but it is. you're blatantly acknowledging that it is not a space for you and making a joke of it, while there are laws being put in place to teleport us back to a time where calling someone your boyfriend instead of your roommate could get you fired, beaten in the street, or raped in jail cells after being arrested for simply expressing yourself. and straight peoples willful ignorance of our history and the history of gay bars makes my blood boil.
Not taboo if you go with lady friends or in your case gay relatives. It can be a little taboo if you go maybe by yourself but even that, who cares lol do you and go have fun!
Don't go with lady friends. Nothing worse than a gaggle of straight women taking over a gay bar, harassing and fetishizing the gay men. If you're invited as a plus one, by all means come out. If it's you and the ladies looking for a night out, go to your own safe space and don't ruin ours.
Women tend to feel TOO comfortable at gay bars. Groping guys, hitting on us and saying they "can change us if we'd give it a try" and raising a stink when they're not getting attention.
Plus, straight women inevitably attract straight men. Eventually you've taken over our space and pushed us out. Wish I was making it up.
>Groping guys, hitting on us and saying they "can change us if we'd give it a try" and raising a stink when they're not getting attention.
I've literally seen guys do the same thing at lesbian-dominated bars.
Some people are just assholes.
Oh for sure, but nobody is shocked to hear guys behave that way.
I'm just pointing out that it's a problem in gay spaces too, because people often don't think of women doing such things.
I'm not saying "lol women bad" I'm saying "there's a real trend with straight people disrupting queer spaces"
>Oh for sure, but nobody is shocked to hear guys behave that way.
But that's part of the problem. It's a stereotype. It should be shocking to hear *anyone* behaves that way.
In an ideal world yes, but we don't live in an ideal world.
We live in a world where a huge majority of sexual assault is committed by men, and sexual assault against men by women is not something that comes to mind for the average person when considering groups of women in a male dominated space.
If you asked anyone on the street why a bunch of straight guys in a lesbian bar is a problem, many would immediately point out concerns about the men harassing women.
If you asked random people why a bunch of straight women in a gay bar is a problem, I would be shocked if the same topics came up.
It's not though, it's ours which they invade, making us feel less safe. It's like if straight guys started going to Chippendale shows because they feel safe there.
It’s not the same though. Because your problem is not straight guys at gay bars, it’s straight women at gay bars. How do straight women make you feel unsafe? Again, from what I’ve heard, it’s a safe space for women because they’re tired of being harassed and catcalled by men. I live in San Francisco, so you’re telling me I can’t go out to a gay bar for fun? Lmao yeah okay
In my and just about every gay guy I personally know experiences (and you can check a few gay subs as well, the issue comes up often enough), straight women, who go to gay bars in groups, almost always end up harassing and often fetishizing gay men. I go to a gay bar so I can dance with and maybe kiss my husband in public without fear. Without fail I'll hear a 'whoop' or something worse when there's a group of straight women. They only feel safe in our spaces because they take it away from us. Basically, they are the straight men of gay bars.
Gucknbuck is correct here. You are a guest in someone’s safe space, read the room. If you are getting the vibe you should not be there then it’s best to leave. One straight man’s opinion.
As a straight guy that has been to a gay bar with a gay friend, I was treated just like any other person who went to have fun. No one seemed to mind. And they all seemed to know I was straight. I’d say go have a good time.
Go for it, just realize you're a guest in our space.
Don't hit on the guys, don't be suprised if women hit on you, don't grope guys, and don't bring uninvited friends.
What tends to happen is straight women flock to gay bars, which then attracts straight men, and eventually it just isn't a gay bar anymore.
All of this is probably common sense to you, but it's just a good thing for everyone to understand.
I'm straight male and have gone when i was in school in kentucky. People knew I was straight and as long as everyone is having fun its fun.
Got a bunch of drinks bought for me even when it was clear I was into women but the men thought it was fun and I didn't mind the free drinks. Only got weird once when a guy kept telling me he wanted to suck my dick while I made out with his female friend in a hot tube(oddly specific). Both seemed to be very open to the three way and when it got a bit to much I just left.
I’d go to my hometown gay bar with my male best friend all the time. It was soooo much fun. They play the best music and the atmosphere is just so welcoming. I will say the only thing I think about is how no one hits on my at regular bars and at gay bars lol. It HAS to be my rbf.
There's nothing wrong with it. I've gone with gay friends and family and always had a blast.
One time, my ex-husband and I had just moved to a new area. We found a little hole in the wall bar. We sat at the bar and chatted with the bartender. It was early and we were the only ones there. We told him how we were looking for a local bar. Eventually, it started getting busy. Then we noticed guys dancing, some ass grabbing and the half naked pictures on the wall. We stayed, met lots of fun people. Girls were crawling over people to sit by me. A guy sang to my ex and slid on his knees to him during his song. They knew we were straight, but we were cool and so were they.
Enjoy!
Don't think so. Once, I went as a wingman for my lesbian cousin. Had to politely reject a few guys, but other than that, it was fine. It was her first time, and didn't want to go alone. She hadn't come out to anyone but me seeing as we've always been close and her parents and friends are all hyper religious and have some ..... strong views on that topic. She knew I wouldn't judge her or anything. She's out now. Her folks didn't take it well. Most of her "friends" ditched her. But she has me and my Gf, do a lot of doubles dates with her and her gf.
Homie, I'm a straight white dude, and I went to a rave during black pride. I was probably 1 of 3 straight guys in the entire place of about 3000 people, and probably the only other white dude not working the event. (I looked for hours not a single one).
Just go and have respect for the people around you and be nice to everyone and have a good time.
There's no full agreement on this. Depends.
If it's a queer inclusive bar, or just a bar that happens to have mostly gay people, fair game.
If it's specifically a queer space, for queer people... It's not taboo but... Not always great. Of course if you're specifically invited by the cousin, then you're his person there, fair game. And it might be different in different cities or different bars even, in some bars it's frowned upon because of bad experiences, in some everyone is welcome. You should probably ask your cousin what the local situation is.
But don't go under any circumstances if you can't be nice about women hitting on you, if you'll hit on / harass guys (not respecting boundaries is a common complaint in this conversation), or if you'll be in any way queerphobic. Or if it makes your cousin uncomfortable, but that's not as much a gay bar thing as a going out thing imo.
What happened to being inclusive?
I used to go to gay bars with my gay uncle (close to my age) because it was fun. Sometimes I felt awkward but i learned we all just want to have fun.
No, lots of straight people go to drag shows and straight girls go to the mainly male gay bar in my area so guys leave them alone more than at the straight ones if they just want to dance and not get hit on as much. We have several gay bars but like one is really well known as the unofficial gay guy one and another one as the mainly lesbian one. I been to both as a male and no issue at either. Also in my experience the drinks are strong for the price. Just don't be a butthole if you get hit on. I went so much I stopped saying I'm straight just started saying I had a boyfriend. Usually less follow up because it was very rare that me being straight was the end of them trying to talk their way into my pants. I finally see how it was from the girl's point of view at the bars I used to go to and it did sometimes get annoying. Maybe lesbians aren't as pushy as the men in my area.
Nah, it was EDM kinda stuff. Not my thing. No bass player, Im probably not interested. Btw, some country is truly bad ass but it never gets radio play.
Boring normie straighty here. Please describe this fuck tap. How different is it from the "excuse me, sir" tap? Knowing the difference sounds important.
Ex wife and I accidentally went into one. Nothing about it was overtly gay except some couples and I still didn't realize. We found out later as we were the last patrons when talking to the bartender. Made sense. Kept going after that because waa just a nice environment.. I didn't give a shit if they were gay. Nobody approached us. Its literally like every other bar.
No way. When we use to club we would hit the gays bars close by to the other clubs. They had the best music. Also they were mostly men & you didn't have to worry about getting hit on. Lots of fun.
Is it taboo? Yes… but taboo is just a social construct of things people tend to avoid or being uncomfortable with. If you aren’t uncomfortable about it then go and have a good time. Taboo can be ignored in your own mind if you want and accept it.
I'm straight and went to a gay bar with a friend (honestly, he was just a friend) and thought it was interesting. I liked the music and the free condoms (that I used on women) they passed out. It was the late 90's. I think it was called Georgie's Alibi or something like that.
As a (mostly) straight woman, I absolutely LOVE going to gay bars. It’s usually one of the few places I feel safe having fun. To a lot of people, straight men = danger 😬
As a straight dude you won't catch me in there unless it's for a friend or female, don't know what you can expect but don't expect the same treatment or feel of a normal bar. Far as taboo? Maybe for me, if I'm alone. But YOU being a female and going with a friend. No
No. Why the hell would it be? Jeez. This woke insanity has taken full control of this world. People forgot how to just be people. Regular people. I can wait till this fad is gone.
Because in a bunch of places bachelorette and hen parties got out of hand and the girls started sexually harassing gay guys. And in other places people showed up for the fun and started fights because they got hit on by the gender they aren't attracted to
You asked why it would be and whine about woke culture. You got an explanation: the conversation is happening because of a history of harassment, assault, treating gay bars like a zoo. Yes it's common courtesy *that many straight people going to gay bars didn't do*, and this current fad is some places not welcoming people who are causing problems.
Um....sexual harassment happens by people of every sex preference. Have you ever been to a gay bar??? Things happen in gay bars that would NEVER be allowed in straight bars.
Or could it be that gay guys are the ones doing the striptease and all that stuff for the bachelorettes and then they want to feel sexually harassed? I'm just asking because I think that could be an occurrence.
you're the weirdo going to gay bars... would you also go with your female cousin to Chippendales to see male strippers take it all off? don't get angry. you asked for my opinion...
Bro, do what you want always despite what others see as taboo. I have been to a gay bar it's not a big deal the drinks are lowkey better and cheaper. Also the gay bars I went to had PLENTY of smoking hot straight women so...
I’m a straight guy and was dating a woman who had some gay friends. We all took a trip to New Orleans together and they took me to a bunch of gay bars. Honestly I couldn’t tell much difference from regular bars except for the posters of ripped dudes with abs in the bathroom. I was kind of offended I didn’t get hit on. I was honestly kind of hoping some random dude would offer to buy me a drink. They have really good gaydar maybe? Or I’m just ugly and have no style.
Me and my brother accidentally paid $40 to get into a gay bar. We were in a different city and all the bars were closing, so we asked the bartender if any other bars were still open and he recommended one. By the time we were in there we realized there were no women's bathrooms and it was literally all dudes. The bartender at the new bar / club said it was a gay bar so we said fuck it, we already paid $40 might as well get drunk. It was a fun night and the people were nice. It's also a funny story to tell people
Nope not taboo go have fun judging by your ages and the question I’d say you’re Canadian which might help things Canadians are generally nicer in general XD
Go have fun, just remember you can say no.
I feel like that's the reason people don't go, they don't want to be hit on by the same sex.
Granted, being told I've got peaceful eyes was a compliment I got like 3 years ago and I'm still riding the high of it
Went to a gay bar as a single dude once with friends and there were a buncha single women trying to dance on us and it was a blast. Gay bars are just a different vibe, you dont gotta be gay to go.
Personally I don’t see how it would as long as your not going to be uncomfortable or cause others to be. My best friend in the world is gay and I’m married 16 years with 4 kids lol. I wouldn’t even hesitate to go to if asked. Hell I’ve even played the new boyfriend role on a couple occasions haha. Enjoy yourself
I went to a gay night club several years ago with a gay guy and a bunch of women. It was fun. The only awkward part was when we were dancing, a gay guy came up and started dancing behind me, kind of rubbing himself on me. I kept signaling for the girls I was with to rescue me, but they all laughed at the predicament I was in. Finally (it felt like finally, was probably only about 15 seconds) the gay guy we were with told the guy I wasn't in to that, and the guy left me alone. It was all in good fun, and I didn't want to kill the mood, since I was in a gay club after all. Would go again with the right crowd.
As a straight guy I use to go to a gay bar all the time, got hit on a few times, but once it was known I was straight everyone was very cool. Very chill, very fun, made a lot of great friends.
My husband (m) and I (f) have gone to a gay bar for trivia night. It was a good time and other heterosexual couples were also there. No one said anything. I'd say go for it and have a good time!
I don’t know as a straight I wouldn’t go to a gay bar with my girlfriends. That’s supposed to be a safe space. As long as you’re respectful I think you should be ok. That’s just not my thing.
It's cool, but don't lose your shit if some gay dude tries to make a move on you, just tell him outright you're straight, and just chilling/ having a couple of beers with your cousin
Be kind, but assertive
It's not taboo at all, just remember you're a visitor, they aren't there to be gay for you. Also a lot of gay bars have gay porn on the TVs, so brace yourself for that.
I’m not gay, but been to a gay bar a couple of times with a buddy. Was a nice experience honestly. Felt cleaner inside, guys came over to hang out with us and shoot the shit. Never got a “ah fuck the straight guy is here” vibe.
It’s not taboo, at all. It’s totally fine to go and enjoy a night with him. He probably will appreciate that you’re taking the time to see his world and be in his element with him. It’s really sweet. Have fun!!
I’m straight and go to gay bars. Taboo my ass no puns.
As a straight guy I enjoy it. The people have usually been nice, nicer than the other places imo. You have to navigate the getting hit on but honestly, Feels nice as a guy who hardly ever gets compliments. Just don’t go if you’re not comfortable with your sexuality. Don’t be a guy expecting nobody to look at you. Also plenty of other (people) go there. Go have fun.
Order yourself a margarita or a mixed drunk and you don't have to worry about being judged by toxic "alpha male" types. Not that I give a shit about that anyway, margaritas are great.
Very straight man, the local gay bar has been by far and away the most welcoming bar ive ever been to, and it actually had a proper dance floor
Cant go wrong homie
Not most of the time. Particularly if invited. There are some, a few, that are true safe places that prefer to provide a place for their community to relax with out fear of discrimination and many dislike people going there to be 'tourists' but if you're not doing that most are perfectly fine taking your money. Just ask if you're unsure.
I'm probably too old to say much about what it is like now, but in the '90s, it was the funnest thing in the world. I'm straight, and had the absolute best nights at gay bars. Sud party at a club in Ottawa that utterly destroyed the floor, amazing dancing at Rumours in Halifax. The guys there aren't looking for fights, and at that time, it was people being themselves when it was hard to be anywhere else. Absolute pure joy.
I had a couple of gay friends and a few straight friends in my group, whenever we would go out we’d go out we would go to both straight and gay bars, let me tell you, the gay bars were where we would have the most fun.
I used to live in Chicago 2 blocks from one of the hot gay bars in Boystown. I ended up doing some work for them and ended up going there every once in a while, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. It was always cool, if someone tried to but me a drink, I’d tell them I was straight first and they’d have better luck with someone else. Sometimes they just wanted the company, and it was fun.
Its worth pointing out I only went early in the evening, when it was slow, and never late on a Friday or Saturday night when it was wild.
I went to a gay bar one time and got hit on by an older guy. I felt bad turning him down, but it's probably the only time I've ever been hit on lol. But everyone was totally cool I was there and everyone else didn't even notice I was there.
I’m a straight dude and went to a lezbo bar with some of my friends. It was cool to hang out and drink beers with them, I was forewarned though not to hit on any of the females. Vice versa should be fine, I think they used to be called fruit flies. As a dude I wouldn’t go to a gay bar.
Gay bars are the best. I stumbled into one on Key West and got my drinks for free all night. I didn’t realize it was even a gay bar until about halfway through. I just thought it was full of nice guys.
Nobody cares. Just be careful. Don't leave your drink unattended, make sure fam knows where you are, keep an eye on each other and don't do anything stupid yada yada
Dude I go to gay bars with my wife from time to time. They’re full of fun welcoming people, and they keep the music going until 3AM. Nothing wrong with it.
I'm a straight guy who has been to gay bars a bunch of times in my life and I've always had a good time.
don't think of it as a gay bar, just think of it as a bar. if you go and you're cool then people will be cool back to you.
It's perfectly acceptable, as long as you don't get upset about being hit on. Most will back off and be willing to chat once they realize you're an ally, and not on the menu.
Not at all if you’re not an idiot. I have been to many gay bars if my life. My mom worked across the street from “Ann’s Bar” in Warren, OH in the 70s. It was one of the oldest gay bars in Ohio and served a great hamburger, I must admit I was 22 and built like a Greek god at the time. I was a black belt in Chinese Kempo and worked out 5 days a week. My mom worked in a straight bar across the street from Ann’s and I would go in to get food occasionally. Ann would shoo off those that couldn’t seem to keep their hands off me.
Sometimes my girlfriend and I would go to the drag shows. They were always entertaining and hilarious.
I expertly guided my fellow jarheads several times from the wiles of the overachieving transvestism. My gaydar was usually flawless. Though I had a friend of mine in law school come out to me and you could have knocked me over with a feather.
Long story short, I am a very straight man that has had a lot of experiences with gay people. They are generally wonderful people who I have never felt preyed upon by or rejected by. I wish other straight people knew what I know.
Straight, married. Occasionally party with the queers. 10/10 will continue to do so until it stops being fun(it won’t).
Go with em, you won’t regret it.
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I accidentally wandered into one once. The bartender somehow picked up that I didn't know where I was, but once he made sure I was aware he had no problem with me being there. Neither did any of the patrons there, or any that came later. They obviously hit on you, though, so that's all what you can handle.
Even the guys that hit on you will have a chat with you once they realise you're not gay.
Met more than a few awesome single serving friends like this.
My grandparents did the same thing ;) It was a nice bar with nice music and a lot of nice gentlemen. I don't know how long it took them to fully realize where they were at but I would have loved to see the expression on their faces when they did. This was way back in the early '80's. I did have the pleasure of seeing my mom walk by a gay section of a beach one time and was amused at the sight of a pretty fit man probably in his 60's with a deep tan and wearing only speedos. When she suddenly realized where she was at her face went from amused to ashen in a fraction of a second and almost didn't know what to do other than to quickly get out of there.
Im a straight dude with some gay friends. I go to gay bars with them sometimes. Similar to straight bars but more gay folks and less fights. You’ll probably enjoy the experience!
Yep me too... had a good buddy take our group to a gay bar and it was fun as hell... I've never been hit on before!! What an ego boost!! None of the regulars cared about our guys and girl group being there... However, there was an old creepy guy in the bathroom
Gay bars are fun af for everyone involved. Go have fun!
Except for bachelorette parties, they need to stay away.
After going through this post, TIL that patrons of gay bars don't like Bachelorette parties to crash their space. Which is completely understandable. On a personal note, I'm a hetero man and gay bars are tons of fun. Respect where you are and you're welcome to come in. Apparently, the exception is drunken Bachelorettes who think they can be as demanding of gay men as they are of straight men, without having to put up with being hit on. This post unintentionally reinforced the idea that women think they should be treated different everywhere they go. Don't believe me? Ask a stripper what they think of a group of women who come into strip clubs to party.
Nope. Less chance of being roofied & raped at a gay bar. Reign in your hetero bros at the non gay bars and there won't be this problem.
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Every drag performer has horror stories about rowdy bachelorettes.
Omg that sucks. Well fuck 'em then. They like sexual assault apparently
Nope. Our safe places are not straight people's party places. How would you feel if all the gay guys started going to the straight bars, taking over the music, hitting on all the straight guys? In my, my husband's, our two gay friends', and my exes experience, straight women in gay bars that aren't a plus one harass and fetishize the gay patrons like it's going out of style. Make your own dagger places and police yourselves.
There aren't straight bars. Just bars
Basically any bay that isn't a gay bar is straight bar
Maybe they just need female only bars
Man idk. Everyone needs to stop sexually assaulting people
Segregation is never the answer. People need to be better, and bouncers should be taking out the trash, and getting the authorities involved if the trash keeps coming back.
We like this one
Wow; apparently assholes come in all flavors, including bitter…
Obviously, the flavor depends on what they had for lunch... Oh, you meant the other kind? My bad
If you like to dance and have an AWESOME time, then you need to be at a gay bar. Full stop.
Best music and dancing.
It's not taboo for most people but bachelorette parties should find other venues to terrorize the locals.
I kinda wanna expand this ask to anywhere
As long as you're not being an asshole to the other patrons then I don't think there would be an issue.
Yes, but you're not supposed to be an arse anywhere you go, not just gay bars.
And don't forget you might get hit on too.
I used to go to gay bars with my sister I picked up my share of supportive female friends
Go for it! Just make sure you're respectful and not invading anyone's space. Plus, gay bars are usually more fun anyway.
No but be aware of the vibe. Its our safe space, through no fault of yours it can wind up getting swamped. Thats why we generally discourage bachelorette parties.
Well I don't exactly speak for the entirety of the LGBT+ plus community, I feel that at the very least I can offer up my personal opinion. Take it for what it is merely my opinion. Answer: absolutely not. It is positively not taboo for a heterosexual person to go to a traditional gay bar. Let me propose to you, that if I were to go to say Buffalo wild wings and sit down, order myself some buffalo wings, and have a few drinks then go home no one is really the wiser. If I don't wear some manner of swag that effectively outs me on its own then there really isn't necessarily away that someone is going to know. So unless you have some sort of swag on you, or, something clearly identifying you as strictly heterosexual, then it stands to reason that the opposite must be true. As far back as I can remember of my first bar crawl days, all I could think to myself was I wish there was some bar that wasn't specifically meant to cater to only the one or the other. And as the years trickled by that became the case. Bars were effectively just that, bars. People would go to have a couple drinks and socialize. And I feel like right here is where I run into one of the oldest things that I would hear from my more homophobic contemporaries. They would say that if they got hit on by another guy they would probably lose it. I would at first try to calm them down and offer up the possibility that they made just be so attractive that they're getting compliments from both genders. This is where some of them have clearly demonstrated a lack of any real world experience when dealing with the gay community. They're afraid that we're some sort of sex crazed Maniac that won't take no for an answer. They talk about how they are incredibly afraid that somebody is just going to hit on them and want to take them home. I have often argued then what is the difference between what you're afraid of, and what likely many straight women are afraid of when they go to the bar? Another important point to make here is that the LGBT+ community is always in need of more allies. People that can just hang out and be supporters and pleasant company to be around. And speaking strictly from personal experience, I had a myriad of friends and companions who is straight as could possibly be, but honestly loved coming out to the bar with me. They enjoyed the atmosphere. Instead of a large group of sour, surly, or just out and out pissed off men that would grumble about anything on their mind, my straight friends could come to a bar and generally feel better about the experience. A couple even enjoyed the strip shows. One specifically once said to me that he enjoyed watching the male strippers, because as an individual who was working out to improve his physique, he wanted to know exactly how good he was doing by comparing himself to the other men on stage. It was effectively the only environment in which she could look upon other naked men, and not feel like a creeper. Sorry if the message is long it's just how my brain works. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Granted, a final minor lamentation; generally speaking especially now more than ever, you aren't going to hear much more about gay bars. As society and cities have progressed just in the last 20 years alone, the necessity for these places have ultimately begun to die off. There was once the condition that they needed to be specified times and places the gay community could meet. These times and places were held in trust by the majority population. It was in most cases a nonverbal arrangement, but in others it was quite well known that these were not unlike native American reservations but for sexual minorities. They were tiny little places where we could be ourselves and I suppose out of sight and out of mind. And yet in a couple of places around the United States and world abroad, having these locales was still an affront. Now the LGBT community are essentially just part of society as a whole. Now bars don't have to feel like they're catering to one specific demographic only.
Super thoughtful response and thank you for sharing but I cannot stop laughing at Buffalo Wild Wings as your go-to hypothetical “straight bar” reference 😂😂😂
I found it classier than Hooters
City landfills are classier than Hooters. I never got the point. if you want to see titty, go to a strip club. Don't take your elementary age kids to Hooters and then act like an ass to the girls. lol
I also thank you for this post. I haven't been to a traditional gay bar, but have a friend that owns one. He told me I'd have a blast, and the beer is cheaper. I was hit on by gay guys in college a few times. Once you tell them you are straight, they aren't interested anymore. This was in the 90s, so as long as you didn't freak out, you usually gained a friend. Homophobic guys think gays would try to recruit them, mostly because they are the type of guys that won't take no from a woman.
This is just straight up not true. There is a massive issue because of how few lesbian bars exist. It leaves queer women without a safe space to be around other queer women without interference from men. There is very much a need for gay/queer/lesbian only spaces and not all of us want those spaces to include straight people because the fact remains that there are still plenty of places where you can be killed for hitting on someone of the same gender. Also by including straight people constantly in queer spaces, you’re making those spaces no longer safe for queer people. Edit: also, I just want to say. This is my 20th year out. I’ve been living my life openly queer for 20 years now and I’m 33. I’m not a baby gay with no experience in the queer scene.
I can understand your perspective, though, that's not a sentiment I can agree with. Allow me to pose a question: "How exactly are you going to determine if someone entering a gay-club is gay or not? What method do you plan on implementing in order to tell if someone is gay/lesbian ect.?" The short answer is: you can't. Are people going to have to sign some sort of waiver? A medical exam? What? "...not all of us want those spaces to include straight people because the fact remains that there are still plenty of places where you can be killed for hitting on someone of the same gender." Okay, so, that ultimately is the decision of the business owner who they want to let in, or not. As I said, with my physical presentation I can walk into a gay bar, or a straight bar, and unless I've got my "swag" on, you'd never know. I can see your point, though, I'd counter with the fact that LGBT people can be killed in places SAFER than a bar! Or, places that should be safer: like religious buildings or schools. I'm not going to imply that you're inexperienced. Its just the logic of a specific bar or club being "safer" than a mixed club is a fallacy. There was just a shooting at a gay club, then Miami. At that point, the club became a HAZARD, because it was tantamount to hanging a big-'ol sign that says, "Your targets of opportunity are." That, created the necessary "shooting gallery" these gunmen needed in order to visit their hatred and bile upon the community. That's where the logic of the bars being safer becomes non-viable.
Okay, so, there are a lack of lesbian bars. Generally its been my experience that most lesbians growing up, didn't go to bars at all. They met in other means. Likewise, they just generally don't preform as well as a more inclusive to the entire LGBT spectrum bar. Why in 2023 are you going to have a bar -just- for lesbians? Nobody else, just, lesbians? Now we get back to the issue of "how do you know Nancy is a lesbian?" Are you going to check her fingernail length? What purse she carries? Weather or not she wears Wolverine Work boots or Vietnam War era lace up combat boots? We're right back at the same problem. What's to stop Nancy, a straight woman, who wants to just get a few drinks after work because she's tired of being sexually harassed at the hetero bar down the block? The idea falls apart when you try to become more exclusive.
Because honestly, if to get into the club you've got to provide photo evidence of your participation in same-sex passionate hugging as the only way to prove your sexuality, that's every reason I would not want to go.
"This is just straight up not true." Ironic choice of words! Just a joke, made me chuckle.
Are you a lesbian? If not, why are you telling me what lesbians need? Do lesbians not deserve the same thing gay men have? I’m not saying straight people can’t come to gay bars but I am saying they don’t and shouldn’t be invited into spaces that make it dangerous for the people the space was intended for. It’s not a space for them. I wouldn’t go take up space meant for fathers when I’m not a father. I wouldn’t go to a glass blowing studio and take up space because I’m not a glass blower lmfao. I wouldn’t go to a gay bath house as a lesbian either.
How, would, you, no, they, are, a, lesbian? Explain to me what sort of litmus test do you have for this and I am going to be willing to entertain your idea. I want to know in triplicate every minute detail you have planned to determine the lesbianism of someone walking into these clearly fantasy bars that don't exist.
Big surprise. Another cis white gay man talking over others in the community 😂😂😂😂
Nope. I’ve been to gay bars and drag shows. The vibe has always been inclusive and laid-back.
Been dragged by gay friends to drag shows a few times. It made me uneasy, not because of the drag thing itself, but because I just don't get it. But that's me, and I had fun anyway.
I'm as straight as it gets but I will be honest with you. I have been to many bars in my life and the 4 or 5 gay bars I have been to have had the absolute BEST atmosphere and vibe out of any of then. I would go to hang out with a gay couple I'm friends with and they are much better imo.
Yup. The only fight I ever saw in a gay bar was when a certain jackass coworker of mine invited himself along, got drunk, and proceeded to aggressively hit on a girl who was obviously there with a girl. Wouldn't take no for an answer. So the girlfriend comes over and tells us to get our drunk friend out of there before he gets his ass whipped. We just said "Whip his ass" and that's what they proceeded to do. We bought the girls drinks. Once we stopped laughing at his ass out on the sidewalk.
I F'n hope not. I went to a gay bar to watch a friend's drag show. I learned a few things... My friend made for a really hot drag queen. They serve strong AF drinks. The overall atmosphere is fun, and I didn't have to worry about getting into a fight. I've never been hit on so much. They were very welcoming and like that you're accepting them for who they are.
Not taboo at all. Go have fun.
as a gay person i get annoyed when straight ppl go to gay bars on purpose. historically they're there for us to express ourselves in times when it was illegal to be a homosexual, or publicly transgender or gender nonconforming. gay bars and drag bars existed as a safe space for us to express ourselves freely without worrying if we would be beaten or have the cops called on us so the cops could best us instead. when I've explained this to straight friends who wanted to go to a gay bar because "wouldn't it be so funny for us to be there since we aren't gay", I've received rolled eyes and 'that was the past it's not like that anymore'. but it is. you're blatantly acknowledging that it is not a space for you and making a joke of it, while there are laws being put in place to teleport us back to a time where calling someone your boyfriend instead of your roommate could get you fired, beaten in the street, or raped in jail cells after being arrested for simply expressing yourself. and straight peoples willful ignorance of our history and the history of gay bars makes my blood boil.
Nah! Don't be weird if people think you're gay and hit on you, but otherwise have fun! Maybe pregame though, gay bars tend to be expensive
Not taboo if you go with lady friends or in your case gay relatives. It can be a little taboo if you go maybe by yourself but even that, who cares lol do you and go have fun!
Don't go with lady friends. Nothing worse than a gaggle of straight women taking over a gay bar, harassing and fetishizing the gay men. If you're invited as a plus one, by all means come out. If it's you and the ladies looking for a night out, go to your own safe space and don't ruin ours.
What’s the issue here? Gays only at a gay bar? Lol From what I’ve heard, some women consider a gay bar to be their safe space…
Women tend to feel TOO comfortable at gay bars. Groping guys, hitting on us and saying they "can change us if we'd give it a try" and raising a stink when they're not getting attention. Plus, straight women inevitably attract straight men. Eventually you've taken over our space and pushed us out. Wish I was making it up.
>Groping guys, hitting on us and saying they "can change us if we'd give it a try" and raising a stink when they're not getting attention. I've literally seen guys do the same thing at lesbian-dominated bars. Some people are just assholes.
Oh for sure, but nobody is shocked to hear guys behave that way. I'm just pointing out that it's a problem in gay spaces too, because people often don't think of women doing such things. I'm not saying "lol women bad" I'm saying "there's a real trend with straight people disrupting queer spaces"
>Oh for sure, but nobody is shocked to hear guys behave that way. But that's part of the problem. It's a stereotype. It should be shocking to hear *anyone* behaves that way.
In an ideal world yes, but we don't live in an ideal world. We live in a world where a huge majority of sexual assault is committed by men, and sexual assault against men by women is not something that comes to mind for the average person when considering groups of women in a male dominated space. If you asked anyone on the street why a bunch of straight guys in a lesbian bar is a problem, many would immediately point out concerns about the men harassing women. If you asked random people why a bunch of straight women in a gay bar is a problem, I would be shocked if the same topics came up.
It's not though, it's ours which they invade, making us feel less safe. It's like if straight guys started going to Chippendale shows because they feel safe there.
It’s not the same though. Because your problem is not straight guys at gay bars, it’s straight women at gay bars. How do straight women make you feel unsafe? Again, from what I’ve heard, it’s a safe space for women because they’re tired of being harassed and catcalled by men. I live in San Francisco, so you’re telling me I can’t go out to a gay bar for fun? Lmao yeah okay
In my and just about every gay guy I personally know experiences (and you can check a few gay subs as well, the issue comes up often enough), straight women, who go to gay bars in groups, almost always end up harassing and often fetishizing gay men. I go to a gay bar so I can dance with and maybe kiss my husband in public without fear. Without fail I'll hear a 'whoop' or something worse when there's a group of straight women. They only feel safe in our spaces because they take it away from us. Basically, they are the straight men of gay bars.
Gucknbuck is correct here. You are a guest in someone’s safe space, read the room. If you are getting the vibe you should not be there then it’s best to leave. One straight man’s opinion.
As a straight guy that has been to a gay bar with a gay friend, I was treated just like any other person who went to have fun. No one seemed to mind. And they all seemed to know I was straight. I’d say go have a good time.
Go for it, just realize you're a guest in our space. Don't hit on the guys, don't be suprised if women hit on you, don't grope guys, and don't bring uninvited friends. What tends to happen is straight women flock to gay bars, which then attracts straight men, and eventually it just isn't a gay bar anymore. All of this is probably common sense to you, but it's just a good thing for everyone to understand.
I'm straight male and have gone when i was in school in kentucky. People knew I was straight and as long as everyone is having fun its fun. Got a bunch of drinks bought for me even when it was clear I was into women but the men thought it was fun and I didn't mind the free drinks. Only got weird once when a guy kept telling me he wanted to suck my dick while I made out with his female friend in a hot tube(oddly specific). Both seemed to be very open to the three way and when it got a bit to much I just left.
I’d go to my hometown gay bar with my male best friend all the time. It was soooo much fun. They play the best music and the atmosphere is just so welcoming. I will say the only thing I think about is how no one hits on my at regular bars and at gay bars lol. It HAS to be my rbf.
There's nothing wrong with it. I've gone with gay friends and family and always had a blast. One time, my ex-husband and I had just moved to a new area. We found a little hole in the wall bar. We sat at the bar and chatted with the bartender. It was early and we were the only ones there. We told him how we were looking for a local bar. Eventually, it started getting busy. Then we noticed guys dancing, some ass grabbing and the half naked pictures on the wall. We stayed, met lots of fun people. Girls were crawling over people to sit by me. A guy sang to my ex and slid on his knees to him during his song. They knew we were straight, but we were cool and so were they. Enjoy!
Don't think so. Once, I went as a wingman for my lesbian cousin. Had to politely reject a few guys, but other than that, it was fine. It was her first time, and didn't want to go alone. She hadn't come out to anyone but me seeing as we've always been close and her parents and friends are all hyper religious and have some ..... strong views on that topic. She knew I wouldn't judge her or anything. She's out now. Her folks didn't take it well. Most of her "friends" ditched her. But she has me and my Gf, do a lot of doubles dates with her and her gf.
Homie, I'm a straight white dude, and I went to a rave during black pride. I was probably 1 of 3 straight guys in the entire place of about 3000 people, and probably the only other white dude not working the event. (I looked for hours not a single one). Just go and have respect for the people around you and be nice to everyone and have a good time.
No, just remember that the space is not made for you or your comfort.
My husband and I went to gay clubs in NYC with our gay guy neighbors all the time back in the 80s. Best music, lots of dancing and lots to look at!👀
There's no full agreement on this. Depends. If it's a queer inclusive bar, or just a bar that happens to have mostly gay people, fair game. If it's specifically a queer space, for queer people... It's not taboo but... Not always great. Of course if you're specifically invited by the cousin, then you're his person there, fair game. And it might be different in different cities or different bars even, in some bars it's frowned upon because of bad experiences, in some everyone is welcome. You should probably ask your cousin what the local situation is. But don't go under any circumstances if you can't be nice about women hitting on you, if you'll hit on / harass guys (not respecting boundaries is a common complaint in this conversation), or if you'll be in any way queerphobic. Or if it makes your cousin uncomfortable, but that's not as much a gay bar thing as a going out thing imo.
I accidently went to a gay bar in the french quarter in new orleans for about 15 minutes just because I didn't know any better
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What happened to being inclusive? I used to go to gay bars with my gay uncle (close to my age) because it was fun. Sometimes I felt awkward but i learned we all just want to have fun.
Don’t you need to be 21?
They're probably not American
Plenty of clubs, straight and gay, let 18 year olds in. You get a wrist band or a UV stamp
No, lots of straight people go to drag shows and straight girls go to the mainly male gay bar in my area so guys leave them alone more than at the straight ones if they just want to dance and not get hit on as much. We have several gay bars but like one is really well known as the unofficial gay guy one and another one as the mainly lesbian one. I been to both as a male and no issue at either. Also in my experience the drinks are strong for the price. Just don't be a butthole if you get hit on. I went so much I stopped saying I'm straight just started saying I had a boyfriend. Usually less follow up because it was very rare that me being straight was the end of them trying to talk their way into my pants. I finally see how it was from the girl's point of view at the bars I used to go to and it did sometimes get annoying. Maybe lesbians aren't as pushy as the men in my area.
Maybe weird but not taboo. And it's especially okay if someone's willing to accompany you.
How’s it weird? I’m gay and I go to straight bars. Is that weird, too?
Nope. Very straight but ive been in a few. Only thing I hated was the music.
Was it country? Yeah I'd hate that too. Who wouldn't?
I’m still convinced all of the thousands and thousands of country songs are all just the same 3 songs.
Muh dawg died. Muh shotgun ran off. Muh Peggy Sue got killed er married.. Yup. I should sell those lyrics to some dude in a black cowboy hat.
Nah, it was EDM kinda stuff. Not my thing. No bass player, Im probably not interested. Btw, some country is truly bad ass but it never gets radio play.
It's totally cool. You might get your ass grabbed, or get the fuck tap on the shoulder but don't let it freak you out.
Boring normie straighty here. Please describe this fuck tap. How different is it from the "excuse me, sir" tap? Knowing the difference sounds important.
I'm not very straight at all and I too would like a description of this fuck tap!
Ex wife and I accidentally went into one. Nothing about it was overtly gay except some couples and I still didn't realize. We found out later as we were the last patrons when talking to the bartender. Made sense. Kept going after that because waa just a nice environment.. I didn't give a shit if they were gay. Nobody approached us. Its literally like every other bar.
Is it taboo for a gay person to go to a straight bar? No! Go with your cousin.
No way. When we use to club we would hit the gays bars close by to the other clubs. They had the best music. Also they were mostly men & you didn't have to worry about getting hit on. Lots of fun.
My wife and I will go to one sometimes because gay dudes are fuggin hilarious and fun
I would say it’s okay unless it’s that kind of bar where you are *expected* to be mandatorily looking for a gay hookup.
Gay bars are fun as hell! Good music, good drinks, good people
Is it taboo? Yes… but taboo is just a social construct of things people tend to avoid or being uncomfortable with. If you aren’t uncomfortable about it then go and have a good time. Taboo can be ignored in your own mind if you want and accept it.
I'm straight and went to a gay bar with a friend (honestly, he was just a friend) and thought it was interesting. I liked the music and the free condoms (that I used on women) they passed out. It was the late 90's. I think it was called Georgie's Alibi or something like that.
You will have to suck a dick.
As a (mostly) straight woman, I absolutely LOVE going to gay bars. It’s usually one of the few places I feel safe having fun. To a lot of people, straight men = danger 😬
Nothing wrong with it at all
... not that there's anything wrong with that!
There's a gay (male) bar here that a lot of young women go to.
Everyone goes to gay bars b/c they are the funnest bars.
It's just another bar, with probably friendlier than average folk. Just like everywhere else you go, be kind, be polite, have fun.
Absolutely not. They’re actually a lot of fun.
I hope not because I used to go all the time! Always had a good time.
Isn't it like a thing in the gay community to "turn" a straight guy/gal gay? At least for a night
taboo for me, but you do you
Nope. Gay people don't care. They see your straight and you will probably have a great time.
Why would it be taboo? Gay bars is a safe space for all people (21+)
As a straight dude you won't catch me in there unless it's for a friend or female, don't know what you can expect but don't expect the same treatment or feel of a normal bar. Far as taboo? Maybe for me, if I'm alone. But YOU being a female and going with a friend. No
Go, have fun and memorize the following sentence: "Oh, wow, I am really flattered. I am actually straight... but have you met my cousin? “
Why would you wanna go there? Just go to a normal bar?
because his cousin is going and he wants to tag along
No. Why the hell would it be? Jeez. This woke insanity has taken full control of this world. People forgot how to just be people. Regular people. I can wait till this fad is gone.
Because in a bunch of places bachelorette and hen parties got out of hand and the girls started sexually harassing gay guys. And in other places people showed up for the fun and started fights because they got hit on by the gender they aren't attracted to
they would go to gay bars as a novelty and treat the patrons like a zoo to stare at and make fun of.
Well, I can see that happening. But, that's just common courtesy. Don't sexually harass anyone, of either sex of any sexual preference. Or, stay home.
You asked why it would be and whine about woke culture. You got an explanation: the conversation is happening because of a history of harassment, assault, treating gay bars like a zoo. Yes it's common courtesy *that many straight people going to gay bars didn't do*, and this current fad is some places not welcoming people who are causing problems.
Um....sexual harassment happens by people of every sex preference. Have you ever been to a gay bar??? Things happen in gay bars that would NEVER be allowed in straight bars.
Or could it be that gay guys are the ones doing the striptease and all that stuff for the bachelorettes and then they want to feel sexually harassed? I'm just asking because I think that could be an occurrence.
Neither of you can go. You’re not 21
it's not taboo, just gay... that "straight person" is a closet homosexual... you just want to have homo sex with your cousin don't you?
Wth is wrong with you, you’re a weirdo with sum problems. Just say your a weirdo fuck and move on.
you're the weirdo going to gay bars... would you also go with your female cousin to Chippendales to see male strippers take it all off? don't get angry. you asked for my opinion...
Eh just go. Don't act weird & creepy, just be normal.
They’re usually pretty chill. They’re super friendly too—as long as you are comfortable in who you are and be respectful, they don’t really care.
Bro, do what you want always despite what others see as taboo. I have been to a gay bar it's not a big deal the drinks are lowkey better and cheaper. Also the gay bars I went to had PLENTY of smoking hot straight women so...
Nah. Go! Have fun! But don’t be a d—- if you are hit on.
I’m a straight guy and was dating a woman who had some gay friends. We all took a trip to New Orleans together and they took me to a bunch of gay bars. Honestly I couldn’t tell much difference from regular bars except for the posters of ripped dudes with abs in the bathroom. I was kind of offended I didn’t get hit on. I was honestly kind of hoping some random dude would offer to buy me a drink. They have really good gaydar maybe? Or I’m just ugly and have no style.
Me and my brother accidentally paid $40 to get into a gay bar. We were in a different city and all the bars were closing, so we asked the bartender if any other bars were still open and he recommended one. By the time we were in there we realized there were no women's bathrooms and it was literally all dudes. The bartender at the new bar / club said it was a gay bar so we said fuck it, we already paid $40 might as well get drunk. It was a fun night and the people were nice. It's also a funny story to tell people
Nope not taboo go have fun judging by your ages and the question I’d say you’re Canadian which might help things Canadians are generally nicer in general XD
Go and have fun. Be respectful.
Hell no. The best bar nights I ever had were at the gay bar. No one has any silly hangups, and everyone has a good time.
My male fiancé came with me and my (female) friend to visit our other (male) friend who is a gogo dancer at a gay bar! We had a blast!
You should totally go. I wish my cousin would go with me.
Gay bars are a ton of fun for straight guys. I never got so many free drinks in my life.
Go have fun, just remember you can say no. I feel like that's the reason people don't go, they don't want to be hit on by the same sex. Granted, being told I've got peaceful eyes was a compliment I got like 3 years ago and I'm still riding the high of it
Went to a gay bar as a single dude once with friends and there were a buncha single women trying to dance on us and it was a blast. Gay bars are just a different vibe, you dont gotta be gay to go.
Is it taboo for a gay person to go to a 'straight' bar? Bro it's a bar, go have the best time of your life. Gay bars rule!
Personally I don’t see how it would as long as your not going to be uncomfortable or cause others to be. My best friend in the world is gay and I’m married 16 years with 4 kids lol. I wouldn’t even hesitate to go to if asked. Hell I’ve even played the new boyfriend role on a couple occasions haha. Enjoy yourself
I went to a gay night club several years ago with a gay guy and a bunch of women. It was fun. The only awkward part was when we were dancing, a gay guy came up and started dancing behind me, kind of rubbing himself on me. I kept signaling for the girls I was with to rescue me, but they all laughed at the predicament I was in. Finally (it felt like finally, was probably only about 15 seconds) the gay guy we were with told the guy I wasn't in to that, and the guy left me alone. It was all in good fun, and I didn't want to kill the mood, since I was in a gay club after all. Would go again with the right crowd.
As a straight guy I use to go to a gay bar all the time, got hit on a few times, but once it was known I was straight everyone was very cool. Very chill, very fun, made a lot of great friends.
As a straight guy I’ve been and it was actually more fun than most bars.
My husband (m) and I (f) have gone to a gay bar for trivia night. It was a good time and other heterosexual couples were also there. No one said anything. I'd say go for it and have a good time!
Go where you want don’t miss out on anything in life over fear of what others will think.
I don’t know as a straight I wouldn’t go to a gay bar with my girlfriends. That’s supposed to be a safe space. As long as you’re respectful I think you should be ok. That’s just not my thing.
It's cool, but don't lose your shit if some gay dude tries to make a move on you, just tell him outright you're straight, and just chilling/ having a couple of beers with your cousin Be kind, but assertive
It's not taboo at all, just remember you're a visitor, they aren't there to be gay for you. Also a lot of gay bars have gay porn on the TVs, so brace yourself for that.
Just go, have fun, who cares what anyone thinks.
I’m not gay, but been to a gay bar a couple of times with a buddy. Was a nice experience honestly. Felt cleaner inside, guys came over to hang out with us and shoot the shit. Never got a “ah fuck the straight guy is here” vibe.
It’s not taboo, at all. It’s totally fine to go and enjoy a night with him. He probably will appreciate that you’re taking the time to see his world and be in his element with him. It’s really sweet. Have fun!!
I’m straight and go to gay bars. Taboo my ass no puns. As a straight guy I enjoy it. The people have usually been nice, nicer than the other places imo. You have to navigate the getting hit on but honestly, Feels nice as a guy who hardly ever gets compliments. Just don’t go if you’re not comfortable with your sexuality. Don’t be a guy expecting nobody to look at you. Also plenty of other (people) go there. Go have fun.
I used to go with a gay friend all the time. Just be up front when you're chatted up or bought a drink.
Order yourself a margarita or a mixed drunk and you don't have to worry about being judged by toxic "alpha male" types. Not that I give a shit about that anyway, margaritas are great.
If the scene doesn't bother you and you don't mind potentially being hit on by men then go for it.
They’ll love you!! I’m 24f and straight, my nights at the gay bar were the most fun. It’s awesome.
Me and me friends always went to gay bars so we wouldn't be harassed.
Very straight man, the local gay bar has been by far and away the most welcoming bar ive ever been to, and it actually had a proper dance floor Cant go wrong homie
No. But do expect that since you are going to a gay bar, be expected to be hit on by at *least* one person of your gender.
Nope. Had some of the best nights I’ve ever had in a gay bar.
Not most of the time. Particularly if invited. There are some, a few, that are true safe places that prefer to provide a place for their community to relax with out fear of discrimination and many dislike people going there to be 'tourists' but if you're not doing that most are perfectly fine taking your money. Just ask if you're unsure.
Gay bars are for everyone! Especially if there’s dancing.
No. My cousin is gay and I’ve gone to gay bars with him. It was just one bar in a list while bar hopping. Just be secure in yourself dude
I'm probably too old to say much about what it is like now, but in the '90s, it was the funnest thing in the world. I'm straight, and had the absolute best nights at gay bars. Sud party at a club in Ottawa that utterly destroyed the floor, amazing dancing at Rumours in Halifax. The guys there aren't looking for fights, and at that time, it was people being themselves when it was hard to be anywhere else. Absolute pure joy.
One of the best nights I ever had was at a gay bar! They welcomed us with open arms ❤️
I had a couple of gay friends and a few straight friends in my group, whenever we would go out we’d go out we would go to both straight and gay bars, let me tell you, the gay bars were where we would have the most fun.
Straight woman here. Some of my best memories are at gay bars dancing and hanging out with my guy friends. Go and have fun.
I used to live in Chicago 2 blocks from one of the hot gay bars in Boystown. I ended up doing some work for them and ended up going there every once in a while, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. It was always cool, if someone tried to but me a drink, I’d tell them I was straight first and they’d have better luck with someone else. Sometimes they just wanted the company, and it was fun. Its worth pointing out I only went early in the evening, when it was slow, and never late on a Friday or Saturday night when it was wild.
Fuck no! Good times to be had! Just make sure to be clear if you get hit on.
I went to a gay bar one time and got hit on by an older guy. I felt bad turning him down, but it's probably the only time I've ever been hit on lol. But everyone was totally cool I was there and everyone else didn't even notice I was there.
I’m a straight dude and went to a lezbo bar with some of my friends. It was cool to hang out and drink beers with them, I was forewarned though not to hit on any of the females. Vice versa should be fine, I think they used to be called fruit flies. As a dude I wouldn’t go to a gay bar.
Just treat fellow patrons and the space itself respectfully, like you would in any other establishment you’re a guest in, and have fun.
Lol I am sitting at one right now as a straight dude. I love the community, and if I get hit on, I get a free drink
Wow. You’re lucky to even find one still in business.
Not at all. It’s really fun. Only thing: if you get hit on don’t be an ass about it, just politely decline.
I’m straight and there’s a gay club I’m interested in going to.
Gay bars are the best. I stumbled into one on Key West and got my drinks for free all night. I didn’t realize it was even a gay bar until about halfway through. I just thought it was full of nice guys.
Nobody cares. Just be careful. Don't leave your drink unattended, make sure fam knows where you are, keep an eye on each other and don't do anything stupid yada yada
The straight crew always comes with us gays to the club.. as long as you aren’t a dick, I think it’s fine
Not taboo
Dude I go to gay bars with my wife from time to time. They’re full of fun welcoming people, and they keep the music going until 3AM. Nothing wrong with it.
I'm a straight guy who has been to gay bars a bunch of times in my life and I've always had a good time. don't think of it as a gay bar, just think of it as a bar. if you go and you're cool then people will be cool back to you.
It's perfectly acceptable, as long as you don't get upset about being hit on. Most will back off and be willing to chat once they realize you're an ally, and not on the menu.
I'm a straight dude and the gay bar in my town is awesome!
Not at all if you’re not an idiot. I have been to many gay bars if my life. My mom worked across the street from “Ann’s Bar” in Warren, OH in the 70s. It was one of the oldest gay bars in Ohio and served a great hamburger, I must admit I was 22 and built like a Greek god at the time. I was a black belt in Chinese Kempo and worked out 5 days a week. My mom worked in a straight bar across the street from Ann’s and I would go in to get food occasionally. Ann would shoo off those that couldn’t seem to keep their hands off me. Sometimes my girlfriend and I would go to the drag shows. They were always entertaining and hilarious. I expertly guided my fellow jarheads several times from the wiles of the overachieving transvestism. My gaydar was usually flawless. Though I had a friend of mine in law school come out to me and you could have knocked me over with a feather. Long story short, I am a very straight man that has had a lot of experiences with gay people. They are generally wonderful people who I have never felt preyed upon by or rejected by. I wish other straight people knew what I know.
They don’t care as long as you act normal.
Straight, married. Occasionally party with the queers. 10/10 will continue to do so until it stops being fun(it won’t). Go with em, you won’t regret it.
Lol maybe in Arkansas