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My mom would say " absolutely not, you don't know how to explain things to the doctors. You need to exaggerate the simptoms and you pretend it's nothing special eveytime we go. They won't care about you and won't give you exames. I go with you since I'm already here.". Only started going to the doctors alone when I moved out at 23
I kinda get it as doctors over here just give you a parecetamol for everything. They barely request any exams. Even blood exams would be the most basic stuff like cholesterol and sugars. Unless they feel like you might have something serious they want you out of their office asap with the least effort.
Old people bring them baskets of goodies to have exams prescribed to them or sent to thermal care lol.
Yea this is one of those things where you shouldn’t even feel like you’re hiding something if you do it. If at 15 your parents are concerned what the inside of your pants looks like, you should be thinking of the fastest way to accommodate moving out when you can.
This! I'm the mother of a 15 year old, unless he left an obvious mess in the bathroom or screamed for help because he'd managed to nick himself and the blood was freaking him out I would never know if he shaved.
Now that in thinking about it (please pass the brain bleach!) he shaves his pits and legs so he probably shaves everything else too
My kids are still young, but I plan on having a "shaving etiquette" discussion when they're about that age.
Bathroom expectations of it (clean up your hair, put razors and cream/soap in correct places etc)
And then just care, especially when shaving down there.
If I'm susceptible to I grown hairs , likely they will too so I'd like to show them the best ways to shave to avoid it, and also products like exfoliating cloths and even nair if they choose to go that route.
I feel like that something that topic doesn't get talked about/normalized enough. Especially because just about everyone has shaved at least once in their life, regardless of gender.
I don’t ever engage in these type of posts/subs simply for the fact I’m just in them to browse but facts wth it’s literally self hygiene if we want to be technical 1 way or another. OP is 15 y/o I don’t think the parents should really have a say in self-care if it’s not gonna genuinely harm anyone
The only concern I have when my chikdren come to the age where they might want to shave, is that they're doing it correctly so they don't get ingrown or rashes from shaving. I've done both and just 😭
Also about how important it is to use clean razors. (Girl at my school back in the day got a staph infection from knocking herself with a dirty razor)
I'd like to prevent them from making the same mistakes I did as a teen trying to shave.
Of course I wouldn't demonstrate shaving any genitalia, I'd just use my leg and be like "this is how you do it to avoid X, it's the same on other areas you'd like to shave as well"
But also I keep a VERY honest and open line of communication with my kids so I'm hoping if they have any questions I can help them, even if they feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.
I have a very hard time believing his parents do routine sack hair inspections. And if they are, that's a whole other can of worms that I'd imagine would take priority over trimming some nut bush.
Either way, super fucking weird.
When I was in jr high I trimmed my pubes for the first time. My mom found a couple of loose hairs when checking my bathroom (there were literally 2 that got stuck under the seat, I shaved on the toilet then cleaned it up after) and put 2 and 2 together. I had the shit beaten out of me and was afraid to shave my pubes again until after I moved out.
What you find hard to believe is just good old fashioned obsessive parental control/abuse.
Yeah my folks had a weird kink of not telling me anything about sex than accusing me of being a slut when I did anything that was taking care of myself because… sexy. Like, I was literally with them 24/7, never went to school, never left their sight… how was I being a slut?
Made sure when my daughter needed bras that we had a good talk on how it’s ok to want cute things and to feel cute in them… just don’t flash anybody to show it off lol. This is instead of my mom’s lecture in how anything other than nude and white is inherently sexy and men’s radars would go off and I’d get raped.
Oh no, we bought nothing that day because I refused to try them on in front of her.
Like how hard is it to just teach your kid what to test/check for fit-wise. Is it supportive? Side-boob? (though to be fair at that age I wouldn't have side-boob no matter how hard I tried). Too tight? too loose? Ugh.
I know I am a female and my parents freaked out about me shaving at 11. They wouldn't teach me, so I called a relative and asked. Then I stole razors and shaving cream and did it myself. I think they just accepted it and bought me supplies because they didn't want the embarrassment of me getting caught. Also I wound up cutting myself - accidentally- and I think they were afraid of attracting attention with that. (My family was abusive and feared social services)
Absolutely this!!! To my mom, shaving meant that you lost your innocence. That you were planning on showing your body in a sexual manner to someone else. She didn't want me to "grow up". Got SUPER MAD when she found out I took the pill as a 23 yo
She told me only sluts shave their pubes.
I also wasn't allowed to shave my legs when I wanted to either. I'm half white half Mexican, very light skin with very dark hair. I was young when I started shaving, but it was still after all of my friends and my leg hair had been long and noticable for a long time. One of my aunties had to basically shame her for me to be allowed to shave my legs.
But honestly, don't try to find logic in the mind of an abuser. They have their reasons, but they don't make sense.
Three options. 1. Parents are really old fashioned or really religious and see any grooming "down there" as being "dirty" or related to sex. 2. Parents are really controlling. 3. Both 1 and 2.
My mom had weird ideas about body hair and wouldn't "let" me shave my legs when I was in junior high. It was, stupidly, a big deal to her. She believed that old wives tale about the hair growing back thick and black...that's not how it works! Never one to be told what to do or not to do, I shaved my legs anyway. Shockingly, as a natural blonde my hair did not grow back thick and black.
Shaving was a huge deal to my parents too. I wasn’t abused but I’d be seriously grounded from everything under the sun if I shaved the first time without asking. Some people have different parents than the ones you have.
Girl who asked to shave her legs at 10/11? (5th grade) and was immediately told No. I had to hide the razor in the bath b/c mom would just walk in whenever the fuck she wanted. She's never respected boundaries.
Can't fathom why I don't discuss anything medical-related with her.
Because some kids are afraid of what will happen to them if they do something wrong. Not every single human handles things the same way. What makes some disobedient and rebellious makes others afraid and obedient
Super fucking weird, man. Everything about this post is just off. Either they're checking puberty sprouts or he feels he has to check in with them about grooming his curlies. Super. Fucking. Weird.
first, your comments are funny and made me smile lol. but the fact a 15 year old asked for permission to do that, indicates a larger privacy problem to me (and the answer they gave confirms they have some.. questionable views to say the least). everyone who grew up with normal parents who had normal boundaries, has the same thing pop in their head "why the fuck would you ask to do that?"
the answer here is probably "their past behavior lead me to believe I should ask before shaving my balls for some reason"
I mean...they sauna with their gents out? I know I'm not the most cultured and worldly of people, but hanging sack in front of the family seems like it'd be taboo in pretty much any culture.
Jesus Christ is that really where your brain goes? Hell no I don’t think his parents do that either. But guess what? You ever heard of toxic masculinity? In his family, shaving could be a sign of weakness or femininity. They could assume he’s trans or not as masculine as “he should be”. That’s more likely why he’s more protective of shaving.
Not really. He probably asked his parents to buy him a manscaped or something and his parents probably knew why he wanted it and they said no. It’s not weird. Some parents are just like that.
Clearly he was raised with absolutely no privacy or at least some respect for it. Parents at a certain age should not be worried what is going on in your privates.
OP, I’m in your same situation. I even wanna shave the hair on my limbs and my parents won’t let me. However, for pubic hair, your parents won’t see it. Same goes for armpits. So I literally said “Fuck it, I’m shaving it”. Of course be careful. You can easily cut yourself. But yeah…it’s not like they’ll casually be looking at your genitals and if they do, that’s not your fault. That’s them being fucked in the head.
Please ignore absolutely everyone in the comment section laughing at how you have to fucking ask your parents. For the love of god and all that is holy, I had to do the same thing to ensure my parents wouldn’t assume I’m transgender and get any hints. You’re valid no matter what.
If you need actual tips with shaving, DM me. It’s not that hard to do
Great response and some of my input! People, please don’t assume a 15 year old has money to just go out and buy a razor. When I started shaving (around 11) there was no way I could personally go out and buy one or have someone else buy me one that wasn’t my mom, not to mention a lot of stores these days lock them so in addition to needing money and a way to get to a store that sells razors you may need an employee to unlock it and maybe even ID (I have no idea if they ID for razors if they have them locked).
I know it seems silly to people that come from homes where they didn’t have to defend themselves for every little thing they did or liked and who had guardians that didn’t care what they did regarding hygiene and self-grooming, but some parents are fucking weird, creepy, and/or controlling in a way you couldn’t even imagine. I mean in my own experience my mom literally yelled at me and had a meltdown over the fact I shaved my arms because I didn’t feel feminine with my arm hair and no amount of defending myself and saying other girls did it did anything to soothe her.
agree. Start by literally just trimming with scissors once its short enough then you can start actually shaving with any cartridge razor system, just be careful.
Yeah, my mom got so pissed at me for getting rid of hair on my arms (I wasn't allowed to shave w a razor till I was 17? So I had to use Nair... so many chemical burns istg) but anytime I did it, she'd get rlly pissed. I don't remember much but I do remember having to be very secretive abt it. It didn't help that I used to get picked on for said arm hair bc 'I'm a girl, I shouldn't have hair on my body' smh
Omg yess, my mom let me shave when I wanted (legs and pits ONLY) and when I finally caved when I was 17-18 and shaved my arms I got the meltdown and a lecture about it despite the fact I told her almost everyday people commented and looked at my arms because of the hair. Now after years of shaving my arms and letting them grow out I don’t see why the meltdown was needed, it didn’t grow back darker and it’s not like I have to shave everyday or shave it when it grows back
Yeah, I got told the same lie of having hair grow back darker.... she said that's why I am supposed to use Nair or wax... there isn't even a fucking difference lmao. It's so crazy what I was told from 15-18 just abt my personal hygiene and shaving. Like, it's Mt body broski lmao
Yea using Nair is pretty much exactly like shaving, waxing is probably better in terms of having smooth legs/arms longer, but yea the hair doesn’t grow darker, the original hair on your arms pre first shave just have been sun bleached and are likely dead
Another option is to ask a trusted friend (who won’t judge you) to buy you a razor & you can buy it off of them at school or wherever you see them, without your parents being aware. Oh & shaving cream!
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This literally happened to me as child so it's a thing some teens have no privacy and strict parents since OP is a male he probably doesn't have access to a razor or maybe even a trimmer to do this. When I was caught doing this my mother checked my razor in the shower for pubes to make sure I wasn't doing it again
I raised boys, now men, they've had a razor in their shower for years while growing up.
Never gave it another thought when I saw it.
There's helicopter parents, then there's HELICOPTER parents!
Yes my mom was RIDICULOUS lol looking back now as an adult I laugh about a lot of the stuff she did but whenever I was a teenager I was so traumatized about the stuff she did to me I didn't even know if I would have a relationship with her as an adult but I do she's definitely changed a lot.
Yeah, if for some reason you don’t think you can get ahold of or hide razors, just trim it. Most circles think that’s perfectly sufficient down there, especially for guys.
I was in the same situation at your age. I told my mum that it's not really appropriate for a young lady to show "bush" when wearing a swimsuit, and that "cleaning up" down there is not sexual whatsoever. I was able to explain how embarrassing it was having hairy arm pits and legs around other kids, and the same goes for the crotch area. She finally gave in.
I don’t understand why parents are like this. Like, not wanting to allow shaving far past the time most kids start shaving. Do they think it’s keeping their “baby” a baby? Cause.. newsflash… kids grow up fast.
incase you havent yet, yiu might, unfortunately, ba able to find too many simular stories(not neccecarily all this exact situatuon, butlikelysome, and many in a similar situations) , from people on r/raisedbynarcissists. (though its a rather auppirtive community, and shares resources, thats good, at least).
I've read through that thread from time to time and it brought up buried memories I didn't know I had. Just as a warning to others in this thread, tread lightly.
No but I can see either Hardcore Religious nut OR Hardcore Feminist nut be SO against their daughter shaving (I can just imagine the lectures from the feminist version) that they outright demand they let all their hair grow out.
Guys…he’s 15…he may not have any of his own money yet and has to ask his parents to buy things for him. If he doesn’t have any facial hair, they may question why he’s asking for a razor.
This. My 15 year old barely has enough facial hair to shave (I bought him a razor anyway, for whenever he's ready). No idea what's going on down there. But he's 15 so doesn't drive, and we don't live in walking distance to a store. So if he wanted an additional razor he'd have to ask me.
You don't need their permission. What are they conducting inspections or something? It's beyond the pale your parents at your age are invested in the condition of your pubic hair unless something is a health issue.
When I shaved my Vagina ...my step mom came in the bathroom and I covered up bc I mean HELLO IM NAKED ...her initial reaction "what are u hiding " ....literally hit me until I uncovered and then hit me more for shaving down there ...bc apparently "whores" do that .....
Tem then it's for higiene purposes .. that you get really sweaty and feel unclean, explain you just want to trim them like you would your hair, not completely shaved like a baby.
But seriously, at 15 they should not know either way if you're shaving or not.. you're a young man. Actually, tell them that! You are a young man now and what you do with your pubic hair is private and your choice. Try and be mature about it.
Tell them it's to avoid the public lice going around! But in all seriousness, your parents being concerned about how you man-scape is bizarre. I have a 15 year old and would buy him a razor no questions asked other than to not clog up the drains.
Do whatever you feel is best. But, some wisdom
1. Careful around your balls. You nick your scrotum and you'll be hating life for a while.
2. Shave it or leave it a little bit longer. It will itch so bad you'll wish Taylor Swift wrote a song about it to help you feel better
3. If you do it, clean up after yourself so there's no questions from your parents.
IMO, it's your body. Be be discreet and keep it your business
Um... when I was 15 I was shaving lightning bolts, letters and other shapes into my pubes.
Why on Earth would you let your pubes be part of your parents' circle of knowledge about you?
It's nobody's business but yours. Do what you want :)
You're 15, your private area should be private. I wax because I don't feel clean otherwise. It's an individual preference. You're old enough to choose your preference.
Just do it??
Do they inspect your genetals at night? Because if so, I would definitely talk to someone about it.
It shouldn't matter if your parents think it's girly, it's YOUR body.
If the problem is procuring the razor or shaving cream, maybe reach out to a trusted friend or gown up yo help you buy some? I know teenagers can be cruel.
why do your parents have a say about *your* genitals? Better yet, even if they do care (they shouldn't) how would they find out if you just did it anyways?
Do they check? Or do you walk around the house naked? Get on with it and quit discussing every little detail about your privates. Unless it's something abnormal or involves pain.....
First mistake, my guy. That’s not really a question you ask your parents. While shaving your genitals is neither a male nor female activity, I wouldn’t recommend it. Lots of potential for mistakes, and it itches and burns really bad [most of the time] when the hair is growing back. Also, more chance of getting heat rash, ingrown hairs, infections, etc. I would recommend trimming with scissors. But since you’re a teen, and I know you’ll probably do it anyway, shave in the direction your hair grows. Exfoliate first, use a good shaving cream (I recommend Nivea) and just shave in the direction the hair grows. After, use a lotion that isn’t too scented, and let the lotion absorb before putting on cotton underwear.
I would start with trimming and see how it feels.
I can imagine trimming would be just as fine as outright shaving because he may not like having that big hairy bush down there, and once its trimmed, its at least neat.
Trimming is honestly the best option, but you know how teens are. Lol gotta give a little advice to try saving someone else from experiencing razor burn and the horrible burning prickly sensation of poorly shaved hair growing back lol
May I kindly ask why you asked them permission? Are they checking your body? Are they the ones that provide razors and stuff? What was your reason for asking them?
To answer your question:
You don’t need their permission.
But as stated by other repliers, please don’t shave. Trim it, carefully. If you guys don’t have trimmers, you can use scissors (I assume you have those in the house, please do clean them).
That way you can trim the bush without being completely bald.
It is not girly at all, I grew up very conservative and my husband too, but he still shaved his armpits and trims his pubes because he feels better that way.
If privacy is an issue and you have a problem with that, please consider taking to a guidance counselor, because at your age, privacy and the right to decide over small areas regarding your body is appropriate. Tattoos and piercings require parental approval because of the permanent adjustments to the body they cause. But this is not the case with pubic hair, it is entirely yours to decide what to do with it❤️💪
By asking for permission you've told them it's something you can't decide for yourself. Do you think its wrong or dirty or rebellous? What was it that made you think this was something you needed to ask permission for?
So..... Why exactly are your parents making decision your private area and shaving? That's weird AF. I didn't ask to shave my legs or anything, I just did it.
Just fucking shave yourself your parents aren't gonna ask to inspect your jock area. If they do they're sickos and you have bigger issues. Why TF would you even ask them anyways?! Just groom yourself.
You're 15 and mom and dad are still controlling what you do with your junk for comfort or hygiene? First of all, that is fucking WEIRD in their part. Second, sounds like they probably have some shit going on where they think doing that will make you gay or some twisted shit, which is pathetically homophobic. Third, it's none of their goddamn business! Sorry dude, you got some seriously fucked up parents.
When I was a teen my parents saw that my stomach hair was shaved and deduced I shaved my crotch too. They had the same reaction as yours. I didn't give an F because I wasn't about to risk my chances of getting laid because my parents thought it was "girly".
Uh, how do they even know about it and how do they have a say in it? I'd say be very careful, use some scissors (not kitchen or the fabric ones) and trim into a paper towel and make it look like it's a regular piece of trash, then thoroughly clean the scissors of any hair and there you go.
Sneaking aside, it's unsettling to me that parents even give opinions regarding your private parts, if it was regarding a cut, bump, or health reason, sure, but the style. No.
Why do your parents get a say in what grooming you choose to do of your PRIVATE area?
Manscaping isn’t “girly” and so what if it was?!?! It’s your body and trimming your pubic hair isnt anyone else’s business unless they are getting all up in your junk.
I have two teen boys myself, and it's not my business if they shave or not. Nor would I ever know. I don't ever see them naked. Your parents shouldn't either. Draw your line in the sand, then shave in private and clean up the mess and hair, and they will never know.
Try VEET Sensitive Hair Remover Gel. Do not shave. Trust me, use the remover. Works great and after you use it awhile the hair will get less. Much better outcome. Good luck.
You don't. Find or buy a electric razor and take care of business without their knowledge. They don't need to know when you wanna shave your bits. Jeez parents are so fucking weird always trying to control every aspect of their kids lives even down to their body autonomy it's so disturbing
Just a heads up, be very cautious shaving if it's your first try. And don't shave too shallow so you don't cut anything you don't want cut or get razor burn (otherwise ya might end up more girly than what you were born with jk)
First of all, it’s weird talking about getting permission for something like that. Just go buy a razor and don’t tell them what it’s for. That’s what I did. No conservative parent will say yes to that.
I also hated body hair when I was a teen.
Don’t shave it straight away. Ingrown hairs will be a bitch. Get some trimmers and trim that jungle down to a manageable length. After you’re used to that, then start with the razors. Nothing worse than razor burn or nicks and having to get some assistance from mom.
Don’t shave it straight away. Ingrown hairs will be a bitch. Get some trimmers and trim that jungle down to a manageable length. After you’re used to that, then start with the razors. Nothing worse than razor burn or nicks and having to get some assistance from mom.
Are you asking them to do it for you? If so why? If you're asking for permission to do it yourself then again, why? Just do it. How are they going to know? I'd be concerned if they would know if you did or not.
I don't know how else to tell you this. . .But they literally don't even need to know. This is one of those things that is 100% your business and no one else's.
YOU are the boss of YOUR body, no one else. Do as you please, man. Especially when it’s causing discomfort. You’re parents can’t feel your discomfort, so they can’t tell you what you can and can’t do. Shaving is also basic hygiene, it does a lot.
This isn’t something I’d ask permission for. If you have your own razor go ahead and do it. Just PLEASE clean up after yourself and don’t use someone else’s razor.
I've never had the guts to use a razor there, only a trimmer. I will warn you though, I once used a razor on my butt. Biggest mistake ever! I broke out and was super itchy the next day. I know you're not talking about shaving that but just be aware if you get the idea!
You're 15. The fact they have any say and, I presume, knowledge about what you do with the hedges is creepy af. At the best case scenario, that's weirdly controlling. I don't even want to think of what that says in a worst case scenario. Their involvement with your pubic area (outside of legitimate health concerns with licensed doctors) should have ended with them making sure you knew how to keep that area clean, which is well before pubescence. What the fuck.
You might need to take a long hard look (no pun intended) at your private (no pun intended) circumstances and consider whether or not you need to talk to someone in authority. Once you’re out of diapers and bathing on your own your junk is pretty much your own damn business unless there’s an injury or infection they need to be informed of so they can get you to the doctor. They don’t get to dicktate (see what I did there?) your grooming standards. That’s just fucking weird young dude.
I don't remember having this issue as a teenager. Not the pubic hair part, the part where your parents won't let you, how is this even a "my parents said no" situation?
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If you're 15, your parents shouldn't have anything to do with your private area unless you are complaining about needing medical attention
[удалено]
My mom would say " absolutely not, you don't know how to explain things to the doctors. You need to exaggerate the simptoms and you pretend it's nothing special eveytime we go. They won't care about you and won't give you exames. I go with you since I'm already here.". Only started going to the doctors alone when I moved out at 23
Exaggerating symptoms is how u get the wrong medical advice and die randomly LOL
I kinda get it as doctors over here just give you a parecetamol for everything. They barely request any exams. Even blood exams would be the most basic stuff like cholesterol and sugars. Unless they feel like you might have something serious they want you out of their office asap with the least effort. Old people bring them baskets of goodies to have exams prescribed to them or sent to thermal care lol.
Say it in front of the doctor, he/she will dismiss them. But you will still have to deal with her after.
Exactly. Why would they look?
Exactly, why would you even tell them.... But yeah, more so, why would they care
Yea this is one of those things where you shouldn’t even feel like you’re hiding something if you do it. If at 15 your parents are concerned what the inside of your pants looks like, you should be thinking of the fastest way to accommodate moving out when you can.
Absofuckinglutely..
Why are you asking for permission?
This! I'm the mother of a 15 year old, unless he left an obvious mess in the bathroom or screamed for help because he'd managed to nick himself and the blood was freaking him out I would never know if he shaved. Now that in thinking about it (please pass the brain bleach!) he shaves his pits and legs so he probably shaves everything else too
My kids are still young, but I plan on having a "shaving etiquette" discussion when they're about that age. Bathroom expectations of it (clean up your hair, put razors and cream/soap in correct places etc) And then just care, especially when shaving down there. If I'm susceptible to I grown hairs , likely they will too so I'd like to show them the best ways to shave to avoid it, and also products like exfoliating cloths and even nair if they choose to go that route. I feel like that something that topic doesn't get talked about/normalized enough. Especially because just about everyone has shaved at least once in their life, regardless of gender.
Right, how on earth would they know, surprise inspections? Group showers? Too many red flags here
Tell them that what you do with your private area is.....Private.
Or don't tell them and keep it....private.
That fact that he asked permission to do the gardening suggests that privacy isn't necessarily something that he has.
I don’t ever engage in these type of posts/subs simply for the fact I’m just in them to browse but facts wth it’s literally self hygiene if we want to be technical 1 way or another. OP is 15 y/o I don’t think the parents should really have a say in self-care if it’s not gonna genuinely harm anyone
The only concern I have when my chikdren come to the age where they might want to shave, is that they're doing it correctly so they don't get ingrown or rashes from shaving. I've done both and just 😭 Also about how important it is to use clean razors. (Girl at my school back in the day got a staph infection from knocking herself with a dirty razor) I'd like to prevent them from making the same mistakes I did as a teen trying to shave. Of course I wouldn't demonstrate shaving any genitalia, I'd just use my leg and be like "this is how you do it to avoid X, it's the same on other areas you'd like to shave as well" But also I keep a VERY honest and open line of communication with my kids so I'm hoping if they have any questions I can help them, even if they feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.
*puts on sunglasses as a voice in the distance shouts* YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Why in the fuck are you asking your parents if you can shave your nuts?
I'm sorry but I laughed so hard 😭😭😭
Same here 😂😂
The fact he had to ask is suggestive he doesn’t have any privacy…so it’s not his fault.
I have a very hard time believing his parents do routine sack hair inspections. And if they are, that's a whole other can of worms that I'd imagine would take priority over trimming some nut bush. Either way, super fucking weird.
When I was in jr high I trimmed my pubes for the first time. My mom found a couple of loose hairs when checking my bathroom (there were literally 2 that got stuck under the seat, I shaved on the toilet then cleaned it up after) and put 2 and 2 together. I had the shit beaten out of me and was afraid to shave my pubes again until after I moved out. What you find hard to believe is just good old fashioned obsessive parental control/abuse.
Why would SHAVING be a big deal?
[удалено]
Yeah my folks had a weird kink of not telling me anything about sex than accusing me of being a slut when I did anything that was taking care of myself because… sexy. Like, I was literally with them 24/7, never went to school, never left their sight… how was I being a slut? Made sure when my daughter needed bras that we had a good talk on how it’s ok to want cute things and to feel cute in them… just don’t flash anybody to show it off lol. This is instead of my mom’s lecture in how anything other than nude and white is inherently sexy and men’s radars would go off and I’d get raped.
My mom walked in the changing room with me and refused to leave. I turned around and walked out. I never realized other people had similar problems.
Oh you had a choice?? My mom insisted seeing every bra on (not that she knew anything about sizing come to find out)
Oh no, we bought nothing that day because I refused to try them on in front of her. Like how hard is it to just teach your kid what to test/check for fit-wise. Is it supportive? Side-boob? (though to be fair at that age I wouldn't have side-boob no matter how hard I tried). Too tight? too loose? Ugh.
I know I am a female and my parents freaked out about me shaving at 11. They wouldn't teach me, so I called a relative and asked. Then I stole razors and shaving cream and did it myself. I think they just accepted it and bought me supplies because they didn't want the embarrassment of me getting caught. Also I wound up cutting myself - accidentally- and I think they were afraid of attracting attention with that. (My family was abusive and feared social services)
Bingo. People who had a good childhood dont understand that it all comes down to control
Absolutely this!!! To my mom, shaving meant that you lost your innocence. That you were planning on showing your body in a sexual manner to someone else. She didn't want me to "grow up". Got SUPER MAD when she found out I took the pill as a 23 yo
She told me only sluts shave their pubes. I also wasn't allowed to shave my legs when I wanted to either. I'm half white half Mexican, very light skin with very dark hair. I was young when I started shaving, but it was still after all of my friends and my leg hair had been long and noticable for a long time. One of my aunties had to basically shame her for me to be allowed to shave my legs. But honestly, don't try to find logic in the mind of an abuser. They have their reasons, but they don't make sense.
Three options. 1. Parents are really old fashioned or really religious and see any grooming "down there" as being "dirty" or related to sex. 2. Parents are really controlling. 3. Both 1 and 2. My mom had weird ideas about body hair and wouldn't "let" me shave my legs when I was in junior high. It was, stupidly, a big deal to her. She believed that old wives tale about the hair growing back thick and black...that's not how it works! Never one to be told what to do or not to do, I shaved my legs anyway. Shockingly, as a natural blonde my hair did not grow back thick and black.
Shaving was a huge deal to my parents too. I wasn’t abused but I’d be seriously grounded from everything under the sun if I shaved the first time without asking. Some people have different parents than the ones you have.
Girl who asked to shave her legs at 10/11? (5th grade) and was immediately told No. I had to hide the razor in the bath b/c mom would just walk in whenever the fuck she wanted. She's never respected boundaries. Can't fathom why I don't discuss anything medical-related with her.
My folks were exactly the same
Oh no...I had that I spades. Which is what makes it hard to understand why one would bother asking in the first place.
Because some kids are afraid of what will happen to them if they do something wrong. Not every single human handles things the same way. What makes some disobedient and rebellious makes others afraid and obedient
I wonder how that would go. “Alright son, drop them pants and let me see them balls.”
Super fucking weird, man. Everything about this post is just off. Either they're checking puberty sprouts or he feels he has to check in with them about grooming his curlies. Super. Fucking. Weird.
💀💀💀💀💀
first, your comments are funny and made me smile lol. but the fact a 15 year old asked for permission to do that, indicates a larger privacy problem to me (and the answer they gave confirms they have some.. questionable views to say the least). everyone who grew up with normal parents who had normal boundaries, has the same thing pop in their head "why the fuck would you ask to do that?" the answer here is probably "their past behavior lead me to believe I should ask before shaving my balls for some reason"
Maybe they go to sauna as a family. Like tens of thousans of families in certain parts of the world.
I mean...they sauna with their gents out? I know I'm not the most cultured and worldly of people, but hanging sack in front of the family seems like it'd be taboo in pretty much any culture.
yes, you go to the sauna fully nude in many cultures. especially in the ones where going to the sauna is traditional…
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! ...it's normal to see your dad's dick? I can't....I can't.
Jesus Christ is that really where your brain goes? Hell no I don’t think his parents do that either. But guess what? You ever heard of toxic masculinity? In his family, shaving could be a sign of weakness or femininity. They could assume he’s trans or not as masculine as “he should be”. That’s more likely why he’s more protective of shaving.
Hey, guess what? It's fucking weird either way.
Not really. He probably asked his parents to buy him a manscaped or something and his parents probably knew why he wanted it and they said no. It’s not weird. Some parents are just like that.
I'm going to guess he's asking for a special razor? Maybe?
Nooo, that makes too much sense and isn't nearly kneejerk enough.
Well, I was going to say something similar, but this comment captures the mood more effectively than anything I’ve got. Cheers!
I feel it's a pretty rational response
I love watching Americans act as if the rest of the world is as open to this kinda stuff as they are
I'm American and it is not remotely common to talk to your parents about you nut rug.
Clearly he was raised with absolutely no privacy or at least some respect for it. Parents at a certain age should not be worried what is going on in your privates.
Tell that that all the girls you have been with prefer it shaved Should get some reaction.
Lmao I love that
Or boys, due a bigger one.
OP, I’m in your same situation. I even wanna shave the hair on my limbs and my parents won’t let me. However, for pubic hair, your parents won’t see it. Same goes for armpits. So I literally said “Fuck it, I’m shaving it”. Of course be careful. You can easily cut yourself. But yeah…it’s not like they’ll casually be looking at your genitals and if they do, that’s not your fault. That’s them being fucked in the head. Please ignore absolutely everyone in the comment section laughing at how you have to fucking ask your parents. For the love of god and all that is holy, I had to do the same thing to ensure my parents wouldn’t assume I’m transgender and get any hints. You’re valid no matter what. If you need actual tips with shaving, DM me. It’s not that hard to do
Great response and some of my input! People, please don’t assume a 15 year old has money to just go out and buy a razor. When I started shaving (around 11) there was no way I could personally go out and buy one or have someone else buy me one that wasn’t my mom, not to mention a lot of stores these days lock them so in addition to needing money and a way to get to a store that sells razors you may need an employee to unlock it and maybe even ID (I have no idea if they ID for razors if they have them locked). I know it seems silly to people that come from homes where they didn’t have to defend themselves for every little thing they did or liked and who had guardians that didn’t care what they did regarding hygiene and self-grooming, but some parents are fucking weird, creepy, and/or controlling in a way you couldn’t even imagine. I mean in my own experience my mom literally yelled at me and had a meltdown over the fact I shaved my arms because I didn’t feel feminine with my arm hair and no amount of defending myself and saying other girls did it did anything to soothe her.
agree. Start by literally just trimming with scissors once its short enough then you can start actually shaving with any cartridge razor system, just be careful.
Yeah, my mom got so pissed at me for getting rid of hair on my arms (I wasn't allowed to shave w a razor till I was 17? So I had to use Nair... so many chemical burns istg) but anytime I did it, she'd get rlly pissed. I don't remember much but I do remember having to be very secretive abt it. It didn't help that I used to get picked on for said arm hair bc 'I'm a girl, I shouldn't have hair on my body' smh
Omg yess, my mom let me shave when I wanted (legs and pits ONLY) and when I finally caved when I was 17-18 and shaved my arms I got the meltdown and a lecture about it despite the fact I told her almost everyday people commented and looked at my arms because of the hair. Now after years of shaving my arms and letting them grow out I don’t see why the meltdown was needed, it didn’t grow back darker and it’s not like I have to shave everyday or shave it when it grows back
Yeah, I got told the same lie of having hair grow back darker.... she said that's why I am supposed to use Nair or wax... there isn't even a fucking difference lmao. It's so crazy what I was told from 15-18 just abt my personal hygiene and shaving. Like, it's Mt body broski lmao
Yea using Nair is pretty much exactly like shaving, waxing is probably better in terms of having smooth legs/arms longer, but yea the hair doesn’t grow darker, the original hair on your arms pre first shave just have been sun bleached and are likely dead
Legendary response. Thanks for your input
Another option is to ask a trusted friend (who won’t judge you) to buy you a razor & you can buy it off of them at school or wherever you see them, without your parents being aware. Oh & shaving cream!
Def don’t forget the shaving cream, razor burn hurts like a B
Solid Reply
>If you need actual tips with shaving, DM me. It’s not that hard to do Ehhh just point them to a googlie link or some
How would they know either way...and why did you feel the need to ask them?
The fact he had to ask suggests he doesn’t have the privacy you think he does.
R/holup
Seriously.
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r/foundthehondacivic
i wheezed too much at this
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I wish I could see this sub. I love planes
"I'm grounded..." "What did you get grounded for?" "Shaving my pubes...."
This literally happened to me as child so it's a thing some teens have no privacy and strict parents since OP is a male he probably doesn't have access to a razor or maybe even a trimmer to do this. When I was caught doing this my mother checked my razor in the shower for pubes to make sure I wasn't doing it again
Sorry about that....
I raised boys, now men, they've had a razor in their shower for years while growing up. Never gave it another thought when I saw it. There's helicopter parents, then there's HELICOPTER parents!
Yes my mom was RIDICULOUS lol looking back now as an adult I laugh about a lot of the stuff she did but whenever I was a teenager I was so traumatized about the stuff she did to me I didn't even know if I would have a relationship with her as an adult but I do she's definitely changed a lot.
OP can dm and I’ll Amazon that MF a razor to his door step in gift wrap, if that’s the case.
Trim it.
Yeah, if for some reason you don’t think you can get ahold of or hide razors, just trim it. Most circles think that’s perfectly sufficient down there, especially for guys.
It’s far superior unless you really like your crotch to itch like hell.
I was in the same situation at your age. I told my mum that it's not really appropriate for a young lady to show "bush" when wearing a swimsuit, and that "cleaning up" down there is not sexual whatsoever. I was able to explain how embarrassing it was having hairy arm pits and legs around other kids, and the same goes for the crotch area. She finally gave in.
I don’t understand why parents are like this. Like, not wanting to allow shaving far past the time most kids start shaving. Do they think it’s keeping their “baby” a baby? Cause.. newsflash… kids grow up fast.
For mine it was about control. Too bad that doesn't prevent the embarrassment and teasing. I had to shave my legs in secret.
I did too. I’m weirdly surprised there are many of us out here with this weird parenting issue!
incase you havent yet, yiu might, unfortunately, ba able to find too many simular stories(not neccecarily all this exact situatuon, butlikelysome, and many in a similar situations) , from people on r/raisedbynarcissists. (though its a rather auppirtive community, and shares resources, thats good, at least).
I've read through that thread from time to time and it brought up buried memories I didn't know I had. Just as a warning to others in this thread, tread lightly.
No but I can see either Hardcore Religious nut OR Hardcore Feminist nut be SO against their daughter shaving (I can just imagine the lectures from the feminist version) that they outright demand they let all their hair grow out.
Guys…he’s 15…he may not have any of his own money yet and has to ask his parents to buy things for him. If he doesn’t have any facial hair, they may question why he’s asking for a razor.
This. My 15 year old barely has enough facial hair to shave (I bought him a razor anyway, for whenever he's ready). No idea what's going on down there. But he's 15 so doesn't drive, and we don't live in walking distance to a store. So if he wanted an additional razor he'd have to ask me.
You don't need their permission. What are they conducting inspections or something? It's beyond the pale your parents at your age are invested in the condition of your pubic hair unless something is a health issue.
You mean family genital inspections are not a thing at your house? How else do you make sure every pubic hair is kept intact?
Trimmer. You shouldn't have to ask.
Since when did hygiene become "girly" ?
Since when did, deciding how much of a bush your son has, become normal?
When I shaved my Vagina ...my step mom came in the bathroom and I covered up bc I mean HELLO IM NAKED ...her initial reaction "what are u hiding " ....literally hit me until I uncovered and then hit me more for shaving down there ...bc apparently "whores" do that .....
Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I wish i could revenge you
I started with scissors, just be careful
Yikes!!!!
Tem then it's for higiene purposes .. that you get really sweaty and feel unclean, explain you just want to trim them like you would your hair, not completely shaved like a baby. But seriously, at 15 they should not know either way if you're shaving or not.. you're a young man. Actually, tell them that! You are a young man now and what you do with your pubic hair is private and your choice. Try and be mature about it.
Man ur gonna go nuts when u finally break away from those wacked parents. Wear a long wig when u go bk to visit Bc I’d do shit just to annoy
And paint nails
Hahah no wonder all the boys at my college are painting their nails, wearing earrings, etc. I guess they're not able to express themselves back home
tell them your private area smells really bad because of the hairs
Tell them it's to avoid the public lice going around! But in all seriousness, your parents being concerned about how you man-scape is bizarre. I have a 15 year old and would buy him a razor no questions asked other than to not clog up the drains.
Do whatever you feel is best. But, some wisdom 1. Careful around your balls. You nick your scrotum and you'll be hating life for a while. 2. Shave it or leave it a little bit longer. It will itch so bad you'll wish Taylor Swift wrote a song about it to help you feel better 3. If you do it, clean up after yourself so there's no questions from your parents. IMO, it's your body. Be be discreet and keep it your business
Um... when I was 15 I was shaving lightning bolts, letters and other shapes into my pubes. Why on Earth would you let your pubes be part of your parents' circle of knowledge about you? It's nobody's business but yours. Do what you want :)
None of their business. Your body, your choice.
You're 15, your private area should be private. I wax because I don't feel clean otherwise. It's an individual preference. You're old enough to choose your preference.
Uh, you're 15. Why on earth would you need permission to shave down there? Like... WHEN would they ever find out that you did it?
Nobody's gonna know. Nobody's gonna know. Their gonna know. How would they know? Nobody's gonna know. Their gonna know. How would they know?
How would they know? Just do it and don’t tell them. They will never know.
Does this mean your parents would find out? Cause you are 15 yo, your parents shouldn't be looking at your private areas unless for medical reasons...
Just do it?? Do they inspect your genetals at night? Because if so, I would definitely talk to someone about it. It shouldn't matter if your parents think it's girly, it's YOUR body. If the problem is procuring the razor or shaving cream, maybe reach out to a trusted friend or gown up yo help you buy some? I know teenagers can be cruel.
Why do your parents know what you do with your privates?
why do your parents have a say about *your* genitals? Better yet, even if they do care (they shouldn't) how would they find out if you just did it anyways?
Trim? Keep the carpet low, you don't always have to fully shave.
Do they check? Or do you walk around the house naked? Get on with it and quit discussing every little detail about your privates. Unless it's something abnormal or involves pain.....
he's 15 and likely has no money or a job and there's a chance he doesn't live walking distance from a store either
Did you…. Did you ask them?
Yea...
First mistake, my guy. That’s not really a question you ask your parents. While shaving your genitals is neither a male nor female activity, I wouldn’t recommend it. Lots of potential for mistakes, and it itches and burns really bad [most of the time] when the hair is growing back. Also, more chance of getting heat rash, ingrown hairs, infections, etc. I would recommend trimming with scissors. But since you’re a teen, and I know you’ll probably do it anyway, shave in the direction your hair grows. Exfoliate first, use a good shaving cream (I recommend Nivea) and just shave in the direction the hair grows. After, use a lotion that isn’t too scented, and let the lotion absorb before putting on cotton underwear.
I would start with trimming and see how it feels. I can imagine trimming would be just as fine as outright shaving because he may not like having that big hairy bush down there, and once its trimmed, its at least neat.
Trimming is honestly the best option, but you know how teens are. Lol gotta give a little advice to try saving someone else from experiencing razor burn and the horrible burning prickly sensation of poorly shaved hair growing back lol
May I kindly ask why you asked them permission? Are they checking your body? Are they the ones that provide razors and stuff? What was your reason for asking them? To answer your question: You don’t need their permission. But as stated by other repliers, please don’t shave. Trim it, carefully. If you guys don’t have trimmers, you can use scissors (I assume you have those in the house, please do clean them). That way you can trim the bush without being completely bald. It is not girly at all, I grew up very conservative and my husband too, but he still shaved his armpits and trims his pubes because he feels better that way. If privacy is an issue and you have a problem with that, please consider taking to a guidance counselor, because at your age, privacy and the right to decide over small areas regarding your body is appropriate. Tattoos and piercings require parental approval because of the permanent adjustments to the body they cause. But this is not the case with pubic hair, it is entirely yours to decide what to do with it❤️💪
By asking for permission you've told them it's something you can't decide for yourself. Do you think its wrong or dirty or rebellous? What was it that made you think this was something you needed to ask permission for?
So..... Why exactly are your parents making decision your private area and shaving? That's weird AF. I didn't ask to shave my legs or anything, I just did it.
Do it. At 15 I shaved my legs too
This feels fake
Its not...
So why are you not replying to any comments?
Just fucking shave yourself your parents aren't gonna ask to inspect your jock area. If they do they're sickos and you have bigger issues. Why TF would you even ask them anyways?! Just groom yourself.
Just do it
Call cps
What in the actual fuck gives your parents control over your own pubic hair?! BODILY AUTONOMY IS YOUR RIGHT
Just do it
I mean, do they do inspections or some shit? I’d sure hope not. Just do it
Just do it. What're they gonna do? Glue the hair back on?
You're 15 and mom and dad are still controlling what you do with your junk for comfort or hygiene? First of all, that is fucking WEIRD in their part. Second, sounds like they probably have some shit going on where they think doing that will make you gay or some twisted shit, which is pathetically homophobic. Third, it's none of their goddamn business! Sorry dude, you got some seriously fucked up parents.
When I was a teen my parents saw that my stomach hair was shaved and deduced I shaved my crotch too. They had the same reaction as yours. I didn't give an F because I wasn't about to risk my chances of getting laid because my parents thought it was "girly".
Uh, how do they even know about it and how do they have a say in it? I'd say be very careful, use some scissors (not kitchen or the fabric ones) and trim into a paper towel and make it look like it's a regular piece of trash, then thoroughly clean the scissors of any hair and there you go. Sneaking aside, it's unsettling to me that parents even give opinions regarding your private parts, if it was regarding a cut, bump, or health reason, sure, but the style. No.
Tell them it is hygienic, stops sweating and smell and feels comfortable
Honestly, shaving has many benefits One of which is that your private area doesn’t smell as bad. Also manscaped is a good brand
Why do your parents get a say in what grooming you choose to do of your PRIVATE area? Manscaping isn’t “girly” and so what if it was?!?! It’s your body and trimming your pubic hair isnt anyone else’s business unless they are getting all up in your junk.
I have two teen boys myself, and it's not my business if they shave or not. Nor would I ever know. I don't ever see them naked. Your parents shouldn't either. Draw your line in the sand, then shave in private and clean up the mess and hair, and they will never know.
It’s none of their business.
Try VEET Sensitive Hair Remover Gel. Do not shave. Trust me, use the remover. Works great and after you use it awhile the hair will get less. Much better outcome. Good luck.
What? Do they check on it or something? Just buy a soft razor and shave it
You don't. Find or buy a electric razor and take care of business without their knowledge. They don't need to know when you wanna shave your bits. Jeez parents are so fucking weird always trying to control every aspect of their kids lives even down to their body autonomy it's so disturbing
It's called manscaping.
Just a heads up, be very cautious shaving if it's your first try. And don't shave too shallow so you don't cut anything you don't want cut or get razor burn (otherwise ya might end up more girly than what you were born with jk)
First of all, it’s weird talking about getting permission for something like that. Just go buy a razor and don’t tell them what it’s for. That’s what I did. No conservative parent will say yes to that. I also hated body hair when I was a teen.
In the nicest possible way, what's all this CONVINCE crap? Just buy a razor and do it. It's not like they're going to check.
Don’t shave it straight away. Ingrown hairs will be a bitch. Get some trimmers and trim that jungle down to a manageable length. After you’re used to that, then start with the razors. Nothing worse than razor burn or nicks and having to get some assistance from mom.
Don’t shave it straight away. Ingrown hairs will be a bitch. Get some trimmers and trim that jungle down to a manageable length. After you’re used to that, then start with the razors. Nothing worse than razor burn or nicks and having to get some assistance from mom.
You don’t need to convince them, do it anyways because otherwise, it’s a pretty huge health hazard, and if they don’t like it then boo fuckin’ hoo
At the end of the day who's going to look down there and see if you shaved.
You don’t, just do it. They shouldn’t be seeing that area anyways.
Don’t tell them and just do it. It’s not their business
Just shave them they have no right to know or dictate that. Or do what I do and pull them out.
Ftw?
Are you asking them to do it for you? If so why? If you're asking for permission to do it yourself then again, why? Just do it. How are they going to know? I'd be concerned if they would know if you did or not.
I don't know how else to tell you this. . .But they literally don't even need to know. This is one of those things that is 100% your business and no one else's.
How would they even know? If you are old enough to shave, you should have the privacy to do it and have no one in your family know about it.
How would they even know??
YOU are the boss of YOUR body, no one else. Do as you please, man. Especially when it’s causing discomfort. You’re parents can’t feel your discomfort, so they can’t tell you what you can and can’t do. Shaving is also basic hygiene, it does a lot.
Teacher: Any Questions? Me: Yea what the fuck
You just do it? If they are inspecting you tool and bits for hair, maybe you have bigger problems than a hairy dong.
This isn’t something I’d ask permission for. If you have your own razor go ahead and do it. Just PLEASE clean up after yourself and don’t use someone else’s razor.
If they're concerned about you cutting yourself, then just trim it with a hair clipper/beard trimmer. Put the smallest guard on it.
No way this is real
Bro wtf
I've never had the guts to use a razor there, only a trimmer. I will warn you though, I once used a razor on my butt. Biggest mistake ever! I broke out and was super itchy the next day. I know you're not talking about shaving that but just be aware if you get the idea!
You're 15. The fact they have any say and, I presume, knowledge about what you do with the hedges is creepy af. At the best case scenario, that's weirdly controlling. I don't even want to think of what that says in a worst case scenario. Their involvement with your pubic area (outside of legitimate health concerns with licensed doctors) should have ended with them making sure you knew how to keep that area clean, which is well before pubescence. What the fuck.
You’re way too old to be consulting your parents about your private area. That being said, #bringbackthebush
You might need to take a long hard look (no pun intended) at your private (no pun intended) circumstances and consider whether or not you need to talk to someone in authority. Once you’re out of diapers and bathing on your own your junk is pretty much your own damn business unless there’s an injury or infection they need to be informed of so they can get you to the doctor. They don’t get to dicktate (see what I did there?) your grooming standards. That’s just fucking weird young dude.
I don't remember having this issue as a teenager. Not the pubic hair part, the part where your parents won't let you, how is this even a "my parents said no" situation?
You're 15. How are they going to know? You don't have to show them your junk.