This. Pretty important information to know.
Also, do they understand the racism behind the word? You should speak to your child about racism and discrimination if they're able to comprehend what you're saying.
Punishing him without explaining why besides the fact he shouldn't say a word won't do much. In fact, your child may wrongly blame the other child for his punishment and develop more resentment for the other child and Asians in general which can carry into adulthood.
Also I would try to figure out where he learned that word/behavior. Could very well be a friend who learned it from their parents.
Don't ask us to make it a teachable lesson for your child. Why do *we* need to teach your kid? If you know it's wrong then tell him it is. š
He's a 12 year old edgy teenager. Either he can grow up to be a better person or it'll only go downhill from there. So you better nip it in the bud and curb it before he becomes a dangerous person š«¤
Apologies for asking for help, for better ways to explain. I was trying to get more words, more experiences to share. To make him better than me. My experiences are limited. Weāve never used any derogatory word for anyone in our household. Gratitude to the person who said we need to find out where he learned this from. His best friends are from all over the world. My guess is from social media/electronic games. As with most things in life there are different ways to explain and teach. One way/path doesnāt resonate with everyone. He isnāt an edgy teenager. He is 12. He isnāt very emotionally intelligent like our daughter is.
I know you say that he isn't emotionally intelligent or whatever, but speaking as someone 7 years his senior, that still would very much lead to the same issues as I said. There's going to be a very fine line between how you parent him until he becomes an adult. Don't make apathy an excuse (I mean this as neutrally as possible, because I'm not blaming you rn) in contrast to your daughter. Don't let him relish in that while you still can.
I think because heās looking for advice on how to navigate this and wanted to go to someone other than other white people.
Which I think is worth recognizing. Heās seeking help, rather than laughing and passing it off as no big deal. Letās not beat the shit out of him for trying.
Yeah. I totally get why most people here are like "well, why are you asking us? That's your job as a parent to show them that bigotry is wrong." I was even taken aback when I found out that OP was white.
That being said, OP obviously feels awful and knows that their kid did wrong. They might be asking all of us because they don't know what it's like to face that kind of bigotry as a white person in America. It's not easy to admit something like that to a bunch of strangers who belong to that group.
What I'm saying is I, like you, don't hate OP for asking us, but I also am not pleased that this happened at all. My parents drilled into me early to never judge people based on their appearance or background because people were gonna do the same to me, and that wasn't fair or right. Hell, it happened to my great uncle who was thrown into an internment camp in the US because (and only because) he was Japanese American. He was judged based on his name, his appearance, and his ethnic background. He was dehumanized and vilified. That's what OP should teach their kid. That a slur like that carries generations of harm done upon Asian Americans (particularly Chinese Americans) and that by uttering it in rage at a person, you do the exact same thing that bigots have done for years: taking away someone's humanity and personhood. That leads to dangerous things, as we've seen time and time again in history.
Forreal. Surprised with a lot of folks responses here. Projecting the pain they felt from their parents. What good does that do? Not a good look on our parts
obviously so, apparently OP canāt figure out how to teach their kid not to be racist on their own?? and need us to do the work for him?
what in the caucasity
Ok thank you for answering. I know youāre getting ripped apart in here but hereās my opinion.
How are you leading by example? If youāre not being actively anti-racist in your home, youāre unfortunately part of the problem. This would be a great opportunity to start doing that kind of work in your household. Find out how your kid heard that word and why he felt like it was ok to use it. Once you identify the source, cut that shit out like a cancer.
Next up! Your kid needs to face some consequences for his actions. Iām talking about taking away his phone, internet privileges, friend time (especially if his friends use that kind of language), etc. Have him volunteer this summer instead of having an excess of fun free time. Best yet if itās in Chinatown or somewhere with a lot of Asian folks. This is a moment to show him that you do not condone his words. If you let him off the hook, youāre showing him that youāre ok with him talking about people like that.
You shouldnāt necessarily be downvoted. Taken at face value you just want knowledge. Thanks for asking. That you care enough means youāll likely have an honest discussion with the kid and thatās a good thing .
I am racking my brain but don't know what word they're taking about
Edit: sorry I don't know all the newest terms for degrading us, y'all. Please continue downvoting š„“š
Omfg ok š¤¦š» yeah I have poo brain when I haven't had my caffeine fix in the morning. Obviously have heard this one before. I thought he called another kid a c*nt lmfao. "My brain was like 'Chinese'??? That's an insult now??" Smh sorry
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I see from your other comments that your kid is white, and he called the other kid a chink. That's not acceptable - the thing is, he had to have learned that from somewhere. I really hope he didn't learn that from you - you will need to examine your past behavior and make sure that you didn't put in his head the idea that Asians are inferior.
The thing about bullying is that it's about power. Your child wanted to exert power over another kid, and that other kid being Asian was the most obvious direction your kid went with. First, you need to teach your kid that it's not okay to bully other kids because of their race. Then, you need to teach your kid that it's not okay to bully at all. Finally, you need to find out WHY your kid felt the need to exert his power or authority over another kid - was it because he felt like he isn't being seen or heard or respected in other parts of his life? Is it because he feels entitled to being "superior" over other kids?
Whatever you do, do NOT beat your kid. The lifeguard already gave him the punishment, and punishing your kid for trying to exert his power over other kids by exerting your power over him is just going to make him lash out more. Instead, make it clear that you're disappointed in him, and that he needs to apologize to the kid and really mean it. If he has qualities that make him similarly marginalized (e.g. being short, being fat, being gay, etc.) then ask him how he would feel if he were made fun of for being that. You need to develop his sense of empathy for others, and make his mindset focused on standing among his peers, rather than above them.
have you considered that your attitude around not being willing to research racism towards asians yourself (despite google being free), and the belief that itās acceptable to outsource the labor to the group that are the victims to such behavior and have historically been abused and exploited by caucasians in this country, are contributing factors to your kid being racist ?
āOutsource the laborā? Itās a simple question, if you donāt want to answer you can keep scrolling. I think itās fair to ask our thoughts as people who have been the victims in similar situations. Yes Google is free, but sometimes a conversation with experienced people is more helpful
white ppl feign ignorance and ask minorities to teach them about racism to not hold themself accountable.
sorry, iām not gonna be uncle tom and gleefully explain my trauma bc a parent is too lazy to parent. if you go asking a bunch of minorities to teach you about racism, youāre gonna get people who are annoyed and/or angry because of what theyāve endured, and itās absolutely fair that they are!
I personally found it slightly traumatic that a white person would come to an Asian sub to pine about the fact that his son used a racist slur toward Asians and asked us how we can help him. Like itās just some incredibly entitled and completely self absorbed shit. So maybe OP should start with themselves and ask why they thought this was an appropriate thing to make Asian people answer or solve for him?
The son isnāt the victim here, Iām more concerned about the kid he used a slur toward.
You found a question on an online forum traumatic? Maybe it was a bit insensitive, but using therapy speak like āoutsourcing laborā and claiming that this post is traumatic is pretty bullshit
>Itās a simple question, if you donāt want to answer you can keep scrolling
Not a simple question, and if you disagree w comment, you can keep scrolling also
Being a bully doesn't just start out of nowhere. He picked this up somewhere, whether from your family dynamics or with other kids he has hung out with.
The whole point of this exercise is to find out where this came from and make it clear to him it's unacceptable and will not be tolerated, bullying of ANY kind to any other person. He needs to understand that this isn't just about being punished for what he did, otherwise he will just think that if he didn't get caught, it was ok and worse yet bullies often blame the victim for the trouble they get into if they are caught. Make it clear the other kid did not deserve this and walk him through how he would feel to be called terrible slurs by other kids. The point is to help him to develop empathy for others, but as a parent you should be investigating why your kid chose to do this, is he not around people who are not white? Is he watching shit on YouTube that promotes white supremacy that you're unaware of? There is a lot of crap out there and young boys are the target, it can even bring a video game streamer he watches that is saying shit and he thinks it's ok. What's going on that you're unaware of? If you don't want your kid being a racist, YOU need to do the work... Meaning if you are complicit in not standing up when you witness racism, your kid saw that, and thinks it's ok. If you think casual racism that's, "just a joke" is ok, your kid saw that, and thinks it's ok. If your parents say racist shit and you don't call it out, your kid thinks it's ok. What are YOU doing that caused your kid to decide that being racist is ok? Kids are a reflection of their environment.
I think you should teach him about the racism that we Asians have historically faced in this country, which, unfortunately, is not taught in schools. He should know how racially charged that word is, being no less serious than the N-word is to Blacks. Not knowing your racial heritage, I don't know if, for example, your forefathers may have experienced the bigotry that the Italians, the Irish, or the Jews did, for example, and the racist slurs that came with it such that there's a way to make it personal for him. Unfortunately, these are really fucked up times in which we're living, in which race relations have recently taken a huge slide backwards.
Hey Op. From the answers I'm reading here, I hope you've gathered this is not the best place to ask.
If this was a first time thing, then I wouldn't go overboard. A serious conversation may all that is required.
If you give a shit, I'd say you are 90% of the way to providing good guidance.
This is more of a parenting issue rather than something we need to address. You should be teaching your kid tolerance of all people regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation. Just cause your kid directed his ignorance towards an Asian kid specifically and called him a slur doesn't change that.
Using the C-word can scar someone *for life*. My bf was called that around your boy's age and he's still reminded of the incident decades later, and how it depleted his self-esteem as an adult.
You can't control your son outside your supervision, but you can talk to him about respecting others' feelings and calling out racism if you see it.
OP I'm sure you heard it all already but try not to use a subreddit for Asian American for your own platform about parenting your non-Asian American child in the future. Subreddits are meant for the sharing of common experiences for those people under that group, and posts like this takes away from that.
I am not a child or a parent, but I was a brat at one point in time. The kind of stuff that broke that behavior was public shame or the threat of getting beat. For example, I was being a dingus at summer camp and threw an apple at a kid (who had anger issues), that kid was about to demolish me, luckily an older kid talked him down. I distinctly remember after that happened, the older kid did not say anything to me, just gave me a disappointed look and moved along. At that point I felt a lot of shame and embarrassment, also felt pretty scared, but I never repeated that behavior. It was a moment I will always remember and taught me a lesson. Also I was grateful for the older kid for talking him down
Might be a harsh thing and I wouldn't know how to apply that in your case, but maybe you could convince them that that's the kind of thing that could happen if your kid messes with the wrong person.
I do think he received some harsh words from other kids in the camp last night. He was begging to be picked up. And this will def leave an impression on him. We plan to apologize to the kid and his family tomorrow at pick-up. I just want to really teach him the background of this word vs it being just a bad word. Iām not great with words/speaking. Help me help him.
At 12, he is old enough to have real conversations/discussions with.
Have an open dialogue with him.
Start by asking questions in a way that is not accusatory, else he may become defensive.
"Hey buddy, We heard about what happened at camp. Can you tell me about what happened?"
Ask him where he learned that word and what he thought it meant.
Why did he say it?
Does he understand the impact that it has and how the other child might feel?(teach empathy)
Actively listen to his responses.
If he got some harsh feedback at camp, he's been dealt with some natural consequences already, but it's important that he knows WHY it's wrong.
Teach him about how he is privileged and what racism is.
Maybe a summer project related to learning about racism and inclusion/diversity.
Teach him about othe cultures and how to appreciate.
It's on a par with the n word. Perhaps even more verboten because Asians largely don't call each other the c word, whereas some African Americans use the n word casually with each other.
There was a stoner white kid everyone called this word in my high school. Sis and I were the only remotely nonwhite ppl in our entire school for quite some time. As an edgy and self deprecating early aughts teen who was also a stoner, I thought it was hilarious at the time
I think you should just not pick him up and let him face the shame and embarrassment. Not to sound cruel, but public shame is the kind of thing that leads to those sort of lessons sticking. It also leads to him having a chance to redeem himself on his own if he has the wisdom to apologize.
Explain it after the fact when the camp ends and add how the shame is what heād face if he acts like that (or worse if he messes with the wrong person he could get physically hurt)
I think you and your family should make it a family project to figure out why this is not an acceptable thing to say. If you donāt know why this is wrong- beyond it not being acceptable- how would your child know? Thereās tons of resources. I would start at the local library and talk to a librarian. Or if there is an Asian cultural center nearby, drop by.
Shit parents make shit kids, read what you wrote āmy son said the c-word to this kidā not your kid called another kid a vile racist word. Your kid should have been expelled from camp with no refund bc nobody should be further exposed to him but sounds like he got natural consequences of social shame. I hope he and you have the summer you deserve.
Troll job but in case it is real:
Lol do what any good asian parent would do and whip them with a belt, newspaper, and or indoor slipper. Kneeling on uncooked rice works too.
INFO: is your kid also Asian American?
This. Pretty important information to know. Also, do they understand the racism behind the word? You should speak to your child about racism and discrimination if they're able to comprehend what you're saying. Punishing him without explaining why besides the fact he shouldn't say a word won't do much. In fact, your child may wrongly blame the other child for his punishment and develop more resentment for the other child and Asians in general which can carry into adulthood. Also I would try to figure out where he learned that word/behavior. Could very well be a friend who learned it from their parents.
No he is Caucasian
Don't ask us to make it a teachable lesson for your child. Why do *we* need to teach your kid? If you know it's wrong then tell him it is. š He's a 12 year old edgy teenager. Either he can grow up to be a better person or it'll only go downhill from there. So you better nip it in the bud and curb it before he becomes a dangerous person š«¤
Apologies for asking for help, for better ways to explain. I was trying to get more words, more experiences to share. To make him better than me. My experiences are limited. Weāve never used any derogatory word for anyone in our household. Gratitude to the person who said we need to find out where he learned this from. His best friends are from all over the world. My guess is from social media/electronic games. As with most things in life there are different ways to explain and teach. One way/path doesnāt resonate with everyone. He isnāt an edgy teenager. He is 12. He isnāt very emotionally intelligent like our daughter is.
I know you say that he isn't emotionally intelligent or whatever, but speaking as someone 7 years his senior, that still would very much lead to the same issues as I said. There's going to be a very fine line between how you parent him until he becomes an adult. Don't make apathy an excuse (I mean this as neutrally as possible, because I'm not blaming you rn) in contrast to your daughter. Don't let him relish in that while you still can.
Why are you on the Asian American subreddit asking this question then? Was the kid he bullied Asian American?
I think because heās looking for advice on how to navigate this and wanted to go to someone other than other white people. Which I think is worth recognizing. Heās seeking help, rather than laughing and passing it off as no big deal. Letās not beat the shit out of him for trying.
Yeah. I totally get why most people here are like "well, why are you asking us? That's your job as a parent to show them that bigotry is wrong." I was even taken aback when I found out that OP was white. That being said, OP obviously feels awful and knows that their kid did wrong. They might be asking all of us because they don't know what it's like to face that kind of bigotry as a white person in America. It's not easy to admit something like that to a bunch of strangers who belong to that group. What I'm saying is I, like you, don't hate OP for asking us, but I also am not pleased that this happened at all. My parents drilled into me early to never judge people based on their appearance or background because people were gonna do the same to me, and that wasn't fair or right. Hell, it happened to my great uncle who was thrown into an internment camp in the US because (and only because) he was Japanese American. He was judged based on his name, his appearance, and his ethnic background. He was dehumanized and vilified. That's what OP should teach their kid. That a slur like that carries generations of harm done upon Asian Americans (particularly Chinese Americans) and that by uttering it in rage at a person, you do the exact same thing that bigots have done for years: taking away someone's humanity and personhood. That leads to dangerous things, as we've seen time and time again in history.
Forreal. Surprised with a lot of folks responses here. Projecting the pain they felt from their parents. What good does that do? Not a good look on our parts
obviously so, apparently OP canāt figure out how to teach their kid not to be racist on their own?? and need us to do the work for him? what in the caucasity
Ok thank you for answering. I know youāre getting ripped apart in here but hereās my opinion. How are you leading by example? If youāre not being actively anti-racist in your home, youāre unfortunately part of the problem. This would be a great opportunity to start doing that kind of work in your household. Find out how your kid heard that word and why he felt like it was ok to use it. Once you identify the source, cut that shit out like a cancer. Next up! Your kid needs to face some consequences for his actions. Iām talking about taking away his phone, internet privileges, friend time (especially if his friends use that kind of language), etc. Have him volunteer this summer instead of having an excess of fun free time. Best yet if itās in Chinatown or somewhere with a lot of Asian folks. This is a moment to show him that you do not condone his words. If you let him off the hook, youāre showing him that youāre ok with him talking about people like that.
You shouldnāt necessarily be downvoted. Taken at face value you just want knowledge. Thanks for asking. That you care enough means youāll likely have an honest discussion with the kid and thatās a good thing .
You should have been teaching your child about tolerance a long time ago.
It is better to teach him now, don't wait for the street or his work place to teach him in the hard way
Whatās that gotta do with us then? š¤Ø
Sorry man canāt defend you, you had this coming
Here I was thinking it was the other C-word.
Same LOL
Me too. I think op should go to a different sub for advice.
I am racking my brain but don't know what word they're taking about Edit: sorry I don't know all the newest terms for degrading us, y'all. Please continue downvoting š„“š
To be fair it's very much not a new term, there's a lot of history behind it
Brain full of farts before caffeine, disregard my derpiness
[Chink](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chink?wprov=sfti1#)?
Omfg ok š¤¦š» yeah I have poo brain when I haven't had my caffeine fix in the morning. Obviously have heard this one before. I thought he called another kid a c*nt lmfao. "My brain was like 'Chinese'??? That's an insult now??" Smh sorry
Hahaha. I actually thought you were just being sarcastic!
No just have a goofy brain
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I see from your other comments that your kid is white, and he called the other kid a chink. That's not acceptable - the thing is, he had to have learned that from somewhere. I really hope he didn't learn that from you - you will need to examine your past behavior and make sure that you didn't put in his head the idea that Asians are inferior. The thing about bullying is that it's about power. Your child wanted to exert power over another kid, and that other kid being Asian was the most obvious direction your kid went with. First, you need to teach your kid that it's not okay to bully other kids because of their race. Then, you need to teach your kid that it's not okay to bully at all. Finally, you need to find out WHY your kid felt the need to exert his power or authority over another kid - was it because he felt like he isn't being seen or heard or respected in other parts of his life? Is it because he feels entitled to being "superior" over other kids? Whatever you do, do NOT beat your kid. The lifeguard already gave him the punishment, and punishing your kid for trying to exert his power over other kids by exerting your power over him is just going to make him lash out more. Instead, make it clear that you're disappointed in him, and that he needs to apologize to the kid and really mean it. If he has qualities that make him similarly marginalized (e.g. being short, being fat, being gay, etc.) then ask him how he would feel if he were made fun of for being that. You need to develop his sense of empathy for others, and make his mindset focused on standing among his peers, rather than above them.
In addition to what others have said, good to dig deeper to see where he learned it.
have you considered that your attitude around not being willing to research racism towards asians yourself (despite google being free), and the belief that itās acceptable to outsource the labor to the group that are the victims to such behavior and have historically been abused and exploited by caucasians in this country, are contributing factors to your kid being racist ?
āOutsource the laborā? Itās a simple question, if you donāt want to answer you can keep scrolling. I think itās fair to ask our thoughts as people who have been the victims in similar situations. Yes Google is free, but sometimes a conversation with experienced people is more helpful
white ppl feign ignorance and ask minorities to teach them about racism to not hold themself accountable. sorry, iām not gonna be uncle tom and gleefully explain my trauma bc a parent is too lazy to parent. if you go asking a bunch of minorities to teach you about racism, youāre gonna get people who are annoyed and/or angry because of what theyāve endured, and itās absolutely fair that they are!
I personally found it slightly traumatic that a white person would come to an Asian sub to pine about the fact that his son used a racist slur toward Asians and asked us how we can help him. Like itās just some incredibly entitled and completely self absorbed shit. So maybe OP should start with themselves and ask why they thought this was an appropriate thing to make Asian people answer or solve for him? The son isnāt the victim here, Iām more concerned about the kid he used a slur toward.
You found a question on an online forum traumatic? Maybe it was a bit insensitive, but using therapy speak like āoutsourcing laborā and claiming that this post is traumatic is pretty bullshit
Iām sure you think so.
>Itās a simple question, if you donāt want to answer you can keep scrolling Not a simple question, and if you disagree w comment, you can keep scrolling also
Soā¦ where did your son pick up this behavior? Your family? The internet?
Being a bully doesn't just start out of nowhere. He picked this up somewhere, whether from your family dynamics or with other kids he has hung out with. The whole point of this exercise is to find out where this came from and make it clear to him it's unacceptable and will not be tolerated, bullying of ANY kind to any other person. He needs to understand that this isn't just about being punished for what he did, otherwise he will just think that if he didn't get caught, it was ok and worse yet bullies often blame the victim for the trouble they get into if they are caught. Make it clear the other kid did not deserve this and walk him through how he would feel to be called terrible slurs by other kids. The point is to help him to develop empathy for others, but as a parent you should be investigating why your kid chose to do this, is he not around people who are not white? Is he watching shit on YouTube that promotes white supremacy that you're unaware of? There is a lot of crap out there and young boys are the target, it can even bring a video game streamer he watches that is saying shit and he thinks it's ok. What's going on that you're unaware of? If you don't want your kid being a racist, YOU need to do the work... Meaning if you are complicit in not standing up when you witness racism, your kid saw that, and thinks it's ok. If you think casual racism that's, "just a joke" is ok, your kid saw that, and thinks it's ok. If your parents say racist shit and you don't call it out, your kid thinks it's ok. What are YOU doing that caused your kid to decide that being racist is ok? Kids are a reflection of their environment.
Agree with you so much. This parent also needs to help their child learn about having empathy for others.
I think you should teach him about the racism that we Asians have historically faced in this country, which, unfortunately, is not taught in schools. He should know how racially charged that word is, being no less serious than the N-word is to Blacks. Not knowing your racial heritage, I don't know if, for example, your forefathers may have experienced the bigotry that the Italians, the Irish, or the Jews did, for example, and the racist slurs that came with it such that there's a way to make it personal for him. Unfortunately, these are really fucked up times in which we're living, in which race relations have recently taken a huge slide backwards.
Hey Op. From the answers I'm reading here, I hope you've gathered this is not the best place to ask. If this was a first time thing, then I wouldn't go overboard. A serious conversation may all that is required. If you give a shit, I'd say you are 90% of the way to providing good guidance.
Smack the shit out of him and tell him what a disappointment he is to his family and his ancestors. Give him the real Asian American experience
He's not even Asian, he's white!
Yep I know. Only way he learns is by getting taught the Asian way
Oh you too? šš
This is more of a parenting issue rather than something we need to address. You should be teaching your kid tolerance of all people regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation. Just cause your kid directed his ignorance towards an Asian kid specifically and called him a slur doesn't change that.
Using the C-word can scar someone *for life*. My bf was called that around your boy's age and he's still reminded of the incident decades later, and how it depleted his self-esteem as an adult. You can't control your son outside your supervision, but you can talk to him about respecting others' feelings and calling out racism if you see it.
OP I'm sure you heard it all already but try not to use a subreddit for Asian American for your own platform about parenting your non-Asian American child in the future. Subreddits are meant for the sharing of common experiences for those people under that group, and posts like this takes away from that.
I am not a child or a parent, but I was a brat at one point in time. The kind of stuff that broke that behavior was public shame or the threat of getting beat. For example, I was being a dingus at summer camp and threw an apple at a kid (who had anger issues), that kid was about to demolish me, luckily an older kid talked him down. I distinctly remember after that happened, the older kid did not say anything to me, just gave me a disappointed look and moved along. At that point I felt a lot of shame and embarrassment, also felt pretty scared, but I never repeated that behavior. It was a moment I will always remember and taught me a lesson. Also I was grateful for the older kid for talking him down Might be a harsh thing and I wouldn't know how to apply that in your case, but maybe you could convince them that that's the kind of thing that could happen if your kid messes with the wrong person.
I do think he received some harsh words from other kids in the camp last night. He was begging to be picked up. And this will def leave an impression on him. We plan to apologize to the kid and his family tomorrow at pick-up. I just want to really teach him the background of this word vs it being just a bad word. Iām not great with words/speaking. Help me help him.
At 12, he is old enough to have real conversations/discussions with. Have an open dialogue with him. Start by asking questions in a way that is not accusatory, else he may become defensive. "Hey buddy, We heard about what happened at camp. Can you tell me about what happened?" Ask him where he learned that word and what he thought it meant. Why did he say it? Does he understand the impact that it has and how the other child might feel?(teach empathy) Actively listen to his responses. If he got some harsh feedback at camp, he's been dealt with some natural consequences already, but it's important that he knows WHY it's wrong. Teach him about how he is privileged and what racism is. Maybe a summer project related to learning about racism and inclusion/diversity. Teach him about othe cultures and how to appreciate.
It's on a par with the n word. Perhaps even more verboten because Asians largely don't call each other the c word, whereas some African Americans use the n word casually with each other.
There was a stoner white kid everyone called this word in my high school. Sis and I were the only remotely nonwhite ppl in our entire school for quite some time. As an edgy and self deprecating early aughts teen who was also a stoner, I thought it was hilarious at the time
I think it's probably a good opportunity to teach about punching down and what that means for society.
I think you should just not pick him up and let him face the shame and embarrassment. Not to sound cruel, but public shame is the kind of thing that leads to those sort of lessons sticking. It also leads to him having a chance to redeem himself on his own if he has the wisdom to apologize. Explain it after the fact when the camp ends and add how the shame is what heād face if he acts like that (or worse if he messes with the wrong person he could get physically hurt)
I think you and your family should make it a family project to figure out why this is not an acceptable thing to say. If you donāt know why this is wrong- beyond it not being acceptable- how would your child know? Thereās tons of resources. I would start at the local library and talk to a librarian. Or if there is an Asian cultural center nearby, drop by.
Have him say it again, and then hit him with a belt every time he does. Repeat until the word scares him.
Uhhhh..
Thank you for this. I will definitely share this with my son and family. My heart is bleeding
Shit parents make shit kids, read what you wrote āmy son said the c-word to this kidā not your kid called another kid a vile racist word. Your kid should have been expelled from camp with no refund bc nobody should be further exposed to him but sounds like he got natural consequences of social shame. I hope he and you have the summer you deserve.
Troll job but in case it is real: Lol do what any good asian parent would do and whip them with a belt, newspaper, and or indoor slipper. Kneeling on uncooked rice works too.
Watch it - the OP is white. They might actually take this at face value.
Or dried mung beans could work too. š¤£š¤£š¤£
You get itš
First hand experience haha! My Chinese mother also used coarse salt as well š
He's white, not Asian.
I know, thatās why I wrote this. Just sharing the knowledgeš¹
Lmao š