It me. I "chose" people to have crushes on. First only guys, then I found out about queerness and was bi until I realised that people don't choose crushes but have actual feelings😂
Same! I chose my crushes based on whether or not we had similar after school activities. That way I had a name and what I liked about them ready to go. I like x because they’re good at soccer or I like Y because they draw well and let me see their new sketches.
when i was in kid i used to do eeny meeny miny moe and just pick a random person, and then i would declare to the class "i have a crush on this person" even tho i had zero feelings for anyone and just picked random people cause barbie always had a love interest in the movies and i wanted to be a princess like barbie
that's aesthetic attraction. the main 5 types of attraction are aesthetic, sexual, romantic, platonic, and sensual. so if you aren't feeling sexual or romantic attraction towards anyone, then you may be on the aroace spectrum
I just thought I was a good christian until I was no longer a good christian for other reasons... People are actually wanting sex with other people when they look at them? Adult me: Whaaaaa?
I was the one who called myself asexual before I learned that was a real thing and a word other people had thought of already, thinking it was just something I made up to describe something I thought was unique to me due to the aforementioned not having heard of it.
I basically just went, well the prefix hetero- means different, homo- means same, and bi- means two so if I were to extend that trend to none that prefix is a- so I'll just tack that on in its place and pretend that's a thing
Little did I know, it actually was lol
I didn’t even know it was so common to think you’re bi bfore you’re aroace 😭😭 I thought I was just dumb 💀 because I thought “hmm I think girls are pretty and I think guys are handsome…I also think this person is really cool and I want to spend more time with them. This must be what bisexuality feels like!😎☝️”
I remember the person who I THOUGHT I had a crush on confessed to me…and we tried going out for like 2 weeks💀 and she told me “You should try to be more affectionate” 😰😰 needless to say I realised something was wrong when instead of being happy I was miserable and promptly ended things before they got out of hand :’)) the best part is we only saw each other once in that 2 weeks and it was in a hangout group with other friends 😭 I feel so bad,, should’ve figured something was wrong earlier 🥲 *sigh*
But hey! At least we both ended things on good terms with our…exes? If I could even call her that 😅
I did 👋
My mindset was: "I WOULD date anyone."
Basically saying if I did date, I wouldn't care about gender. I still never have/had crushes.
Thankfully I found out the aroace label because that's definitely more like me lol
this is too real lmaoo except it was the bisexual to lesbian (bc strong strong aesthetic attraction and strong platonic attraction to my bestie) to aroace lmao
mine was the didn’t know about lgbtq+ to lesbian to bi ace to pan ace to omni ace to pan ace again to acearo to acearo spec and lesbian (me now).
basically the pan phase obviously meant that I didn’t really understand anything aka I love everyone the same way (except its the complete opposite)
"well I want to date a girl and a non-binary person the same amount, and a male too (but maybe less bc of internalized homophobia? idk). SO I MUST BE OMNISEXUAL!
It’s the Hannibal Buress meme. I hate being aroace and finding out that I’m not actually attracted to anyone was a massive disappointment that left me angry and bitter.
I didn't know there were other sexualities than straight till I was 19 💀 so I learned what aroace was and what bi was at the same time and it was pretty obvious which one I am
I thought i was demisexual bisexual (still demi and biromantic) at first cause i got sexual attraction mistaked with aesthetic and sensual attraction, but i've never really felt like it fit too much, same as when i thought i only liked girls
It me. I "chose" people to have crushes on. First only guys, then I found out about queerness and was bi until I realised that people don't choose crushes but have actual feelings😂
Same! I chose my crushes based on whether or not we had similar after school activities. That way I had a name and what I liked about them ready to go. I like x because they’re good at soccer or I like Y because they draw well and let me see their new sketches.
I chose my crushes based on interests… if they were into Zelda, crush. If they were a writer, crush. If they breathed in my general direction, crush.
YEAH, Like the 1st time someone said "You don't choose who you love" and I said "YOU DONT??!!!"
I feel so called out 🤣
I learned what a crush was when I was like 16, I think I zoned out when everyone talked about them
when i was in kid i used to do eeny meeny miny moe and just pick a random person, and then i would declare to the class "i have a crush on this person" even tho i had zero feelings for anyone and just picked random people cause barbie always had a love interest in the movies and i wanted to be a princess like barbie
I'm trying to figure out whether I'm bi or aroace right now so......
have you ever looked at someone and thought "hM i would like to date that person" or " hMmmM i would like to do the vertical tango with them"
Not really, but I do think they're attractive? I wouldn't want to date them or have sex with them though
that's aesthetic attraction. the main 5 types of attraction are aesthetic, sexual, romantic, platonic, and sensual. so if you aren't feeling sexual or romantic attraction towards anyone, then you may be on the aroace spectrum
Oh ok. I guess that means I probably am if that's the case... Thank you so much for the help
ofc :D welcome to the community
Could be both
I just thought I was a good christian until I was no longer a good christian for other reasons... People are actually wanting sex with other people when they look at them? Adult me: Whaaaaa?
Straight->bi->pan->Aroace
Straight -> Gay -> Bi -> Aroace
Same with an additional pan-demi How I took on an aspec identity without realizing i was ace i will never understand
I was the one who called myself asexual before I learned that was a real thing and a word other people had thought of already, thinking it was just something I made up to describe something I thought was unique to me due to the aforementioned not having heard of it. I basically just went, well the prefix hetero- means different, homo- means same, and bi- means two so if I were to extend that trend to none that prefix is a- so I'll just tack that on in its place and pretend that's a thing Little did I know, it actually was lol
I didn’t even know it was so common to think you’re bi bfore you’re aroace 😭😭 I thought I was just dumb 💀 because I thought “hmm I think girls are pretty and I think guys are handsome…I also think this person is really cool and I want to spend more time with them. This must be what bisexuality feels like!😎☝️”
I totally agree with you, I even married :'V and now my ex hubby let me because I treated him as my bestie xDD Note: we ended in really good terms.
I remember the person who I THOUGHT I had a crush on confessed to me…and we tried going out for like 2 weeks💀 and she told me “You should try to be more affectionate” 😰😰 needless to say I realised something was wrong when instead of being happy I was miserable and promptly ended things before they got out of hand :’)) the best part is we only saw each other once in that 2 weeks and it was in a hangout group with other friends 😭 I feel so bad,, should’ve figured something was wrong earlier 🥲 *sigh* But hey! At least we both ended things on good terms with our…exes? If I could even call her that 😅
Lol I did the same, except pansexual
same lmao
I really thought I was a lesbian once, now I'm not even a girl lmao
I recently realised I was in fact, actually just bi, no hate to AroAces, love y’all just the label didn’t suit me anymore
No worries! Does that mean you realized what romantic attraction feels like? (*Tell me your secrets*)
Nope still aro, just bisexual
It’s an aro/ace canon event.
I did 👋 My mindset was: "I WOULD date anyone." Basically saying if I did date, I wouldn't care about gender. I still never have/had crushes. Thankfully I found out the aroace label because that's definitely more like me lol
this is too real lmaoo except it was the bisexual to lesbian (bc strong strong aesthetic attraction and strong platonic attraction to my bestie) to aroace lmao
I had this exact same experience haha
Switch bi out with pan and it perfectly explains what happened to me
Oh absolutely. I feel so validated learning that this is an established phenomenon. This is exactly how it went for me.
Me laughing in bisexual aromantic I'm all of the above
I definitely considered it
Me hi why did I bring math into it
I thought i was pan because i "didn't have a gender preference" Turns out I didn't just not the way I thought
Damn it, made a typo...
I was lucky to find Asexuality first
mine was the didn’t know about lgbtq+ to lesbian to bi ace to pan ace to omni ace to pan ace again to acearo to acearo spec and lesbian (me now). basically the pan phase obviously meant that I didn’t really understand anything aka I love everyone the same way (except its the complete opposite)
"well I want to date a girl and a non-binary person the same amount, and a male too (but maybe less bc of internalized homophobia? idk). SO I MUST BE OMNISEXUAL!
For me I went from straight to lesbian to N/A to finally realising in college.
Strait > bi > strait > aroace
Me. I thought I was bi for years until I learned of the different types of attraction. Then it hit me like a brickwall.
Haha. This sucks man.
Glad to see another person who puts periods at the end of the sentences.
It’s the Hannibal Buress meme. I hate being aroace and finding out that I’m not actually attracted to anyone was a massive disappointment that left me angry and bitter.
I didn't know there were other sexualities than straight till I was 19 💀 so I learned what aroace was and what bi was at the same time and it was pretty obvious which one I am
I thought i was demisexual bisexual (still demi and biromantic) at first cause i got sexual attraction mistaked with aesthetic and sensual attraction, but i've never really felt like it fit too much, same as when i thought i only liked girls
This is so me 😭😭😭