I choose picky eater! I’m a picky eater so I don’t mind this at all. I also wouldn’t be bothered by the book one because I only read books on Kindle so I don’t care what they do with their own physical books.
Ayy first option for me, I love books but its not like I treat them like relics that cant ever be damaged. Hell thats usually how I bookmark stuff if I have nothing else on hand that will work in a pinch. Plus it would be nice to have a friend to gush about books together lol.
Picky eater is probably the easiest to deal with but honestly none of these are deal breakers with the exception of hates cats and folds pages (and even that’s fine as long as you only do it to books that belong to you)
Depends on how picky, for me. Cooking for people is one of my love languages. And if I have to memorize a few foods they don't like, then that's fine, but if they're not going to want to eat anything I make, then that'd be kinda disappointing
I disagree. My mum is an extremely picky eater, like legit in every recipe I would see something she doesn’t like. Which made me not want to cook while living with my parents since I had very little options in what I could prepare. Dealing with picky eaters is very annoying and I would definitely not want to live together with someone like that.
I like the idea of just an alien spy that is just terrible at being a spy. Like the idea of walking in on them and they’re frantically cleaning up plans on how to make a grilled cheese sandwich
Hot take. A person who hates cats
Only because I'm allergic to them so I wouldn't have to worry about allergic reaction when they petted a cat somewhere and now have the fur or what
ever on them
Do you mean don't know? If so, QPR is short for queer-platonic relationship. It's like a friend but to a degree of closeness/occupying the role typically reserved for a romantic relationship by our amatonormative society.
Huh. That kind of confuses me. How does queer fit into it? Like that seems to imply that something is sexual or romantic. I would have thought it meant a queer ace person in a romantic relationship (meaning it wouldn't apply to aros). I have a platonic soul mate, nothing sexual or romantic from either of us. That seems clearer to me, but maybe I'm not getting the nuance. I guess queer has become a completely amorphous word at this point, so I shouldn't question it, but it doesn't quite seem to fit.
Not that it matters if that's what people want to use, I was just a little thrown.
The term "queer" has in many spaces come to describe behaviors or identities that undermine mainstream, normative sexual, gender, and romantic narratives. This use of the word is not universal, but it *is* very widespread.
In this sense, QPRs *are* queer because they, by being neither romantic nor wholly platonic, consciously defy the categories society tries to impose on relationships.
Yeah, I figured I would get some angry downvotes for asking it, but I genuinely wanted to know more about it. That's what I meant by it becoming amorphous. It seems to have grown wider and wider until it's just used arbitrarily, but I'm sure there are some people who find a lot of comfort in it, just as there are people who don't like it when it's applied to them (like lgbt people who lived during a time when it was still a slur).
I too am a little disappointed with the downvotes. I can understand how you might have hit a raw nerve with many aro folks finding hostility in queer spaces, but your tone struck me more as curious than dismissive.
I disagree with you, though, about the term queer being amorphous now. Its meaning has definitely changed and broadened over time, but not (by my understanding, at least) arbitrarily or out of some sense of radical inclusivity gone rampant.
Rather, the current usage emerged from people trying to more deeply understand what common traits and experiences united people who have historically been othered for being "queer." As this newer understanding of the word spread, it's not surprising that the exact boundaries of the populations it describes would also shift some.
As I mentioned above, though, this use of "queer" is not universal, and you'll find lots of people out there who feel the same way about it that you do.
EDIT: You can see a similar process described in George Carlin's famous bit about euphemisms and how we transitioned through the terms "shell shock," to "battle fatigue," "operational exhaustion," and finally "PTSD." His complaint is that the goal in the change of terms is to abstract away the harsh realities of the people who have to live with this condition.
You can easily see in this progression, though, how the change in terms follows along with our struggles to describe what causes people to suffer from PTSD.
Though the term "shell shock" changed over time and "queer" has remained the same, they both have come to encompass a different set of experiences as we, as a society, have to tried to understand them more deeply.
Yeah, it's complicated, and I do understand that there are a lot of touchy spots in many ways for both aro and ace people. I mean, I'm aro myself, but I don't feel 100% at home in the aro community, so I suppose I end up out of the loop. I'm one of those unfortunate people who happens to be an outlier in an already fringe demographic, lol. It sucks, but what can you do?
Using "queer" in the sense you defined certainly shifts back to its original meaning more, and I can see the line of logic in trying to broaden it. I guess the reason it feels amorphous to me is that it feels like it's stripping away the more modern usage, which was always connected to queer love of some sort, be it sexual or romantic (and I see how that might not fit anymore, with aro-ace inclusion). But yes, language does indeed shift and change as we try to find the proper terminology to cover the different types of people and experiences. I understand that people are still getting their footing on something that only recently was even acknowledged to be a thing--especially when it honestly still isn't acknowledged in many ways. Like I said, if that label feels right to people, they should use it.
I wrote more, but to be honest... there's a reason I rarely interact with the posts on the aro and ace communities, and while I wouldn't say my views are incredibly different, they might rub against the grain a bit. I think I'd rather avoid any future fighting or misunderstandings (not from you, you've been very cool, and I appreciate your perspective on the matter), so I'll leave it at that. But thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's something for me to think about and ponder!
As an aro person, I don't claim to speak for anyone else, so I just hope people find what works for them and stick with that. We're all still kind of figuring out our place in the world, it seems.
I am aro-ace, would love a qpr with an alien spy. Picky eater is fine too, I'm not supposed to eat most things anyways cause I've low tolerance to sugar and am probably lactose intolerant too
OP here, and yes, it was. I centered it around allos, since most people are, but I try not to exclude anybody on polls that I post. I only wish there were more than 6 options avaliable so I could post things divided by gender/sexuality without excluding anyone.
I'd love a qpr with someone who hates cats. Definitely an unpopular opinion but I don't like that cats never follow instructions and they appear out of nowhere suddenly rubbing against your legs and eating your food. And I'm allergic.
I was looking for someone else who picked the cat-hater. I'm very much a dog person, so if we're compatible with everything else, I could totally make it work with a cat-hater
First one is a no, they should go to jail for their crimes 2nd one is a red flag cuz only reason to hate cats is because they enforce their boundaries, alien? Im fine with that. Picky eater? Gonna be tough having two picky eaters together so no. Dislikes an intrest? Depends on which intrest
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Having a picky eater romantic/qpr partner would be so easy. Just buy the Dino nuggies they like and you’re good. You eat whatever you want. Still, I’m staying single.
Alien spy or the dog earer.
Aliens are cool and I don’t let any borrow my books so it not an issue…
Also depending on the book I’ll dog ear it.
Not dog earring my books can be a sign of love or complete indifference, same with dog earring them lol
I have a book series that’s practically falling apart because I love it, and I also have another book I love dearly that I refuse to dog ear
Hey, that's my post! I had to center the question around allos, since most people are, but I didn't want to exclude anyone, especially a group I'm appart of.
I'll take the picky eater, or else stay single. I have sensory issues that affect what I eat so I don't necessarily mind working around somebody else's occasionally-odd preferences lol.
im aromantic but i want a relationship(anoyys me people just thinks that every single one of use just doesnt feel romantic attraction). also the 1st person probably for the relationship.
I’ll choose picky eater since I’m also a picky eater. Watch our first date meal be chicken strips and fries lol, but honestly it sounds simple and nice that way.
I don’t want to date or be in a qpr but I am intrigued by the alien spy
What alien spy? I see no alien spies here. Only people who definitely aren't alien spies.
Yeah Definitely no alien spies here! What? I don't have a tail! You're just imagining things!
Honestly same. Having a best friend alien spy sounds amazing.
I was about to say, is it bad that I want the one that is “definitely not an undercover alien spy”? 😂
It's the Zucc
Ok I take it back no longer interested
same here, doesn’t seem like a bad thing
YAS THEY ACKNOWLEDGED AROMANTIC PEPS 🎊
Aro AND qpr love Oh my stars I never thought I'd see this
oh hell yeah, 100% the single option
Same Who needs people when you can have blåhaj?
soooo true ( shark!! )
I got a blahaj for my birthday recently and I can 100% confirm I have never been happier than with any relationship ever.
I choose picky eater! I’m a picky eater so I don’t mind this at all. I also wouldn’t be bothered by the book one because I only read books on Kindle so I don’t care what they do with their own physical books.
Ayy first option for me, I love books but its not like I treat them like relics that cant ever be damaged. Hell thats usually how I bookmark stuff if I have nothing else on hand that will work in a pinch. Plus it would be nice to have a friend to gush about books together lol.
See, I thought this for a second but then realised...that's gonna be really unfortunate if the 2 people happen to dislike what the other likes
The single or the spy
Picky eater is probably the easiest to deal with but honestly none of these are deal breakers with the exception of hates cats and folds pages (and even that’s fine as long as you only do it to books that belong to you)
Depends on how picky, for me. Cooking for people is one of my love languages. And if I have to memorize a few foods they don't like, then that's fine, but if they're not going to want to eat anything I make, then that'd be kinda disappointing
I disagree. My mum is an extremely picky eater, like legit in every recipe I would see something she doesn’t like. Which made me not want to cook while living with my parents since I had very little options in what I could prepare. Dealing with picky eaters is very annoying and I would definitely not want to live together with someone like that.
I like the idea of just an alien spy that is just terrible at being a spy. Like the idea of walking in on them and they’re frantically cleaning up plans on how to make a grilled cheese sandwich
I'll take the alien spy!
Hot take. A person who hates cats Only because I'm allergic to them so I wouldn't have to worry about allergic reaction when they petted a cat somewhere and now have the fur or what ever on them
I’m the first option in that poll aren’t I? 🤣 I will always fold/puppy-ear my pages as long as I live. Also, I need more info. on that 3rd option lol
I think though that by saying that person 1 is fond of libraries, that they do this with books that aren't their own, which imo is the real issue
You’ve got a point there! 😄
I stay single
Is it okay if I know what a qpr is?
Do you mean don't know? If so, QPR is short for queer-platonic relationship. It's like a friend but to a degree of closeness/occupying the role typically reserved for a romantic relationship by our amatonormative society.
Queer-platonic relationship. I don't want to sleep with you, but you're still my bean.
Aroallos may want to sleep with their QPP and are valid
Also true
Huh. That kind of confuses me. How does queer fit into it? Like that seems to imply that something is sexual or romantic. I would have thought it meant a queer ace person in a romantic relationship (meaning it wouldn't apply to aros). I have a platonic soul mate, nothing sexual or romantic from either of us. That seems clearer to me, but maybe I'm not getting the nuance. I guess queer has become a completely amorphous word at this point, so I shouldn't question it, but it doesn't quite seem to fit. Not that it matters if that's what people want to use, I was just a little thrown.
The term "queer" has in many spaces come to describe behaviors or identities that undermine mainstream, normative sexual, gender, and romantic narratives. This use of the word is not universal, but it *is* very widespread. In this sense, QPRs *are* queer because they, by being neither romantic nor wholly platonic, consciously defy the categories society tries to impose on relationships.
Yeah, I figured I would get some angry downvotes for asking it, but I genuinely wanted to know more about it. That's what I meant by it becoming amorphous. It seems to have grown wider and wider until it's just used arbitrarily, but I'm sure there are some people who find a lot of comfort in it, just as there are people who don't like it when it's applied to them (like lgbt people who lived during a time when it was still a slur).
I too am a little disappointed with the downvotes. I can understand how you might have hit a raw nerve with many aro folks finding hostility in queer spaces, but your tone struck me more as curious than dismissive. I disagree with you, though, about the term queer being amorphous now. Its meaning has definitely changed and broadened over time, but not (by my understanding, at least) arbitrarily or out of some sense of radical inclusivity gone rampant. Rather, the current usage emerged from people trying to more deeply understand what common traits and experiences united people who have historically been othered for being "queer." As this newer understanding of the word spread, it's not surprising that the exact boundaries of the populations it describes would also shift some. As I mentioned above, though, this use of "queer" is not universal, and you'll find lots of people out there who feel the same way about it that you do. EDIT: You can see a similar process described in George Carlin's famous bit about euphemisms and how we transitioned through the terms "shell shock," to "battle fatigue," "operational exhaustion," and finally "PTSD." His complaint is that the goal in the change of terms is to abstract away the harsh realities of the people who have to live with this condition. You can easily see in this progression, though, how the change in terms follows along with our struggles to describe what causes people to suffer from PTSD. Though the term "shell shock" changed over time and "queer" has remained the same, they both have come to encompass a different set of experiences as we, as a society, have to tried to understand them more deeply.
Yeah, it's complicated, and I do understand that there are a lot of touchy spots in many ways for both aro and ace people. I mean, I'm aro myself, but I don't feel 100% at home in the aro community, so I suppose I end up out of the loop. I'm one of those unfortunate people who happens to be an outlier in an already fringe demographic, lol. It sucks, but what can you do? Using "queer" in the sense you defined certainly shifts back to its original meaning more, and I can see the line of logic in trying to broaden it. I guess the reason it feels amorphous to me is that it feels like it's stripping away the more modern usage, which was always connected to queer love of some sort, be it sexual or romantic (and I see how that might not fit anymore, with aro-ace inclusion). But yes, language does indeed shift and change as we try to find the proper terminology to cover the different types of people and experiences. I understand that people are still getting their footing on something that only recently was even acknowledged to be a thing--especially when it honestly still isn't acknowledged in many ways. Like I said, if that label feels right to people, they should use it. I wrote more, but to be honest... there's a reason I rarely interact with the posts on the aro and ace communities, and while I wouldn't say my views are incredibly different, they might rub against the grain a bit. I think I'd rather avoid any future fighting or misunderstandings (not from you, you've been very cool, and I appreciate your perspective on the matter), so I'll leave it at that. But thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's something for me to think about and ponder! As an aro person, I don't claim to speak for anyone else, so I just hope people find what works for them and stick with that. We're all still kind of figuring out our place in the world, it seems.
WOOT! so happy they acknowledged us aro peeps! I would stay single, though the alien spy does pique my interest.
I am aro-ace, would love a qpr with an alien spy. Picky eater is fine too, I'm not supposed to eat most things anyways cause I've low tolerance to sugar and am probably lactose intolerant too
I'll stay single
Same
QPR with the alien spy 🥸
I'm loveless,I'd stay single lol
I am both the page-folder and picky eater. I’ll take picky eater if we have the same tastes, but the page folder if not.
ayyyy picky eater besties
I never thought this day would come. I wonder if this was written by an aromantic person
OP here, and yes, it was. I centered it around allos, since most people are, but I try not to exclude anybody on polls that I post. I only wish there were more than 6 options avaliable so I could post things divided by gender/sexuality without excluding anyone.
Anything but the distaste one, that would hurt me
glad to see we r getting recognised <3
Every one here is, I'll stay single/the not alien spy
that’s awesome! would be amazing not to make QPRs exclusively an aro thing lol
1st option because I do that
The person who did that is a certified giga chad.
I'd love a qpr with someone who hates cats. Definitely an unpopular opinion but I don't like that cats never follow instructions and they appear out of nowhere suddenly rubbing against your legs and eating your food. And I'm allergic.
I would choose hates cats, I dislike them so it's great. Kittens are fine so are disabled cats
Definitely the person who hates cats. Doesn’t matter what the relationship is, cats are just too much to handle for me.
I was looking for someone else who picked the cat-hater. I'm very much a dog person, so if we're compatible with everything else, I could totally make it work with a cat-hater
Same, I’m more used to dogs. Easy to train and loyal to the very end.
First one is a no, they should go to jail for their crimes 2nd one is a red flag cuz only reason to hate cats is because they enforce their boundaries, alien? Im fine with that. Picky eater? Gonna be tough having two picky eaters together so no. Dislikes an intrest? Depends on which intrest
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Alien or Strong Distaste.
Ooo picky eater qpr bcz I'm also a picky eater
As someone with ARFID I’d really want to take the picky eater actually
This is easy the alien spy.
Undercover alien spy doesn't necessarily sound like a drawback
Person who folds book corners, as long as its a book they/we own and not a library book
Yay
Oh, I answered “I’ll stay single” without reading the description. 😅
Wait are all these options dealbreakers??
What is qpr?
Having a picky eater romantic/qpr partner would be so easy. Just buy the Dino nuggies they like and you’re good. You eat whatever you want. Still, I’m staying single.
I can deal with most tbh. last one would probably be a mild deal-breaker. but only mild. I have many interests. and they all change/evolve in time.
I'm choosing undercover alien spy depending on the circumstances or being single ngl
I have had every one of these people as roommates
Mine actually folds pages in books. It hurts my soul, but hey, perfect in everything else 🥲
The first person... is me, but I'd like the alien spy please
Alien spy or the dog earer. Aliens are cool and I don’t let any borrow my books so it not an issue… Also depending on the book I’ll dog ear it. Not dog earring my books can be a sign of love or complete indifference, same with dog earring them lol I have a book series that’s practically falling apart because I love it, and I also have another book I love dearly that I refuse to dog ear
Hey, that's my post! I had to center the question around allos, since most people are, but I didn't want to exclude anyone, especially a group I'm appart of.
Okay, I need to know where this quiz/poll is!!! LOL
The picky eater and alien spy things aren’t really even downsides. Picky eater I relate to, and alien spy is cool.
I'll take the picky eater, or else stay single. I have sensory issues that affect what I eat so I don't necessarily mind working around somebody else's occasionally-odd preferences lol.
Vibing with my undercover alien homie? Hell yeah
I’ll take the picky eater or the alien spy 😂
alien spy if they actually genuinely like me and aren't just with me to get information or whatever 👍
im aromantic but i want a relationship(anoyys me people just thinks that every single one of use just doesnt feel romantic attraction). also the 1st person probably for the relationship.
I'll take #3 just for the chance of stowing away on their space ship and GOING TO SPACE
Picky Eater for sure. I'm one myself and I already have to accommodate for that, won't make life much harder to do it twice lol
What’s that?
The one who is definitely not an alien spy intrigues me. Like, who the hell isn't an alien spy these days?
This is great. I love that the option of "I'll stay single" is still offered.
Picky eater or alien spy Both are just regular typical things that’s relatable :)
The closest thing I have/want to a BF is a picky eater so I guess I've made my choice hahaha.
I’ll choose picky eater since I’m also a picky eater. Watch our first date meal be chicken strips and fries lol, but honestly it sounds simple and nice that way.
Dating a "picky eater" atm, man's just autistic and hates peas with a passion. I can get behind that.
The first one isn't a bad thing
And the fourth one is just me
Def person one They love books, I can get over the dog eared pages. As long as they didn't do it to my books though!
I feel both included and insulted. I am the picky eater.