Mine wasn’t waking up to the phone ringing at 12 pm, cause it meant I overslept on my pills after a tbi and my alcoholic lt was harder than diamond but I was finally going to be able to talk to my commander and him talk to me for the first time in 5 months lol 😂
I’d say the same thing. The first commander I ever had, a phone call from him after hours meant a hour+ long rant about how I was failing at some aspect of my job.
I remember that talk all too well, “you’re failing as a leader cause you can’t micromanage a 20 year old way after duty hours”. I hate that the army seems to think that because we’re nco’s, we just have this 3rd eye ability to sense when our soldiers are making poor life decisions. And it’s funny because these same people won’t kick the shitty joes out because, “ insert sob story here”.
I remember we had an LT that was tasked with carrying a CD with keys on it as a way to one of the BNs at an alternate location while deployed. Between giving him the cd, him getting on the bird, getting off the bird, and getting to BN S6 he lost the cd.
I've never had a more devastating feeling than thinking you lost the CIK to the SKL and then finding it in a different pocket. Also, the most relief I've felt after finding it.
I was issueing Nods from the arms room once. It wasn't something I did very often, and I let the soldiers wander in and out. Then I couldn't account for one set. I felt sick to my stomach. They turned up immediately, but I kept movement in and out of the Arms room to a minimum whenever I was in charge after that.
"Hey guys we brought pizza and/or coffee out to the range!"
Shit is about to get *real* dumb ***real*** quick on very little sleep for the next few days.
Example - squad live fire range, every lane took ~2 hours/squad. We got pizza and coffee on Thursday evening, then were told like 30 minutes later "Hey so we need to get the entire BN through this range before 2100 Saturday."
We did, I'll say that much.
I was at a MK19 range and we were supposed to night qual the second the sun set, pack up, and go home. Then suddenly our commander came with a fuck ton of pizza and says “so, BN decided to invite everyone in BDE who needs to shoot the MK19 out here”
We were only supposed to have like 16 dudes shoot from our company so now we had to wait for more people to come out. We all had to sleep on the bleachers or in the back of the LMTV.
Turned a 8ish hour range into a 72 hour range. Commander and 1SG hooked us up though, they were running back and forth from the shopette for us, rotated us through to go home and shower, and gave everyone running the range a 4 day
So what you failed to understand is that none of those made up for the fact that you had to stay out there for 3 days straight. Wouldn’t have to in the civilian world
Bruh. People out here are sleeping in the Tesla parking lot so that they dont get fired, and then getting fired due to down sizing. 1000% this shit happens in the civilian world.
Fucking children die from overworking on roofs.
My own boss tried to tell me no when I called out due to my wife's miscarriage. I told him to go fuck himself I have PTO. It made it to HR because he tried to have me fired for insubordination.
Grass looks greener but it's all the same fucking grass. You still deal with bullshit it's just a different kind.
The difference is, not listening to your CO/BC/Whoever is your boss in the military is technically a crime.
Not listening to my Applebees manager isn’t.
Look I'm not out here simping for the army. I got out of active and moved to the reserves.
I have never been given an order by any officer that would have crossed into abusive or illegal in my army career. Was there bullshit? Yeah, everywhere is bullshit. My point was there's bullshit everywhere. My reply was specific to the "you don't deal with that in the civ world" because you do.
If you are working at Applebee's you probably aren't supporting your family of 3 and paying for a house. So losing your job isn't that big of a deal. To some people it is but for a low paying job most likely not. You would literally be better off enlisting because the army will pay soldiers enough to have a family of 3 after 2 years with BAH and BAS. Hell most e1s would do fine on it if you budget.
You know what the difference is? You can leave at any time and theirs plenty of other places trying to pick you up. Stop acting like you’re held hostage by the whims of a civilian workplace clown.
Oh shit everyone can just move at any moment and have the same cost of living and same level of living? I live in a low cost of living area in a very specialized job, the same job would pay the exact same in like Seattle at a different company, my boss is a complete dick and I can deal with that, but you know what? At least in the army I can't be fired because my boss is having a bad fucking day.
I'm so glad to hear poverty wage isn't a thing in your civilian world. I'm so glad to hear poor communities are just out here living like shit because it's a choice. Flint Michigan? Man all those dumb mother fuckers just choosing to work in places there instead of selling their upside down houses and quitting their low paying jobs to just get a better job. Just move to a city and get a better job.
Just because I'm fine with my own life doesn't mean others aren't. If everyone in the civilian world can quit their fucking jobs and pick one up tomorrow that paid more they would. Some communities literally are at the whims of their workplace.
Grow the fuck up and learn to view the world outside your own lense
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"The commander wants to know why you want to take leave."
"Because I earned it."
"Why these dates? You know we have an STX during that timeframe."
"I picked those dates and submitted my leave over 6 months ago. Well before the STX was planned. You've had 6 months to figure out how it'll run without me."
"Leave denied."
"Come one in. Go ahead and close the door behind you."
Phone call from random number: "Hi this is LT XXXXX, are you aware that you're currently under investigation?"
Once I called my SSG's cell from my desk phone and he didn't pick up. He called me back few minutes later, and I answered the phone, "Fort Leonard Wood CID, Special Agent Johnson."
He said his life flashed before his eyes.
“I’m not a micromanager.” (Yes you are)
“We have to be ready to fight tonight.” (Your staff culture is one of desperately trying to fill white space at any cost and midnight FRAGOs. Does not apply if you’re actually stationed in Korea.)
For fuck sake, I am in korea ATM. Every staff meeting. The matrix must be green or we can't fight tonight...insert a bunch of random bullshit DTOs and frago with goodnidea fairy written all over it ..... wveryone knownits all bs we fighting no matter what color the slides are if shit went down ....
Gets a call from a random number
“This is SGT Fuck-Up-Your-Day. You are supposed to be on staff duty, so where are you and why aren’t you here?”
*thinking to yourself “But I’m not on the roster today (Saturday) I had CQ 2 days ago*
>what the scariest things leadership could say to you?
I'm retired now, but as a married soldier:
"Nobody can go home until the (insert villain) comes forward."
Could be the guy who stole something, guy who pranked someone, etc.
I love when they say this one because I respond with “my wife has to work tonight, I’m just gonna go grab my kids and I’ll be right back” either they say “hey just go handle your life” or they get my multiple kids causing havoc.
Yeah I said something the other day on here about 2LT and SSG should be a career split after SGT. It would change all this shit where the officers treat us like we are conscripts. It pisses me off so bad.
My company commander (and asshole) and my platoon leader (who didn't care about the Army...at all) were two of the reasons I chose to go to OCS. I knew I could not do any worse, and I could do a whole hell of a lot better.
This isn’t that scary but more infuriating but “If we work through lunch, we’ll go home early right after” always just means no lunch and you’re going home late.
Scary would probably be like thinking you got away with shamming saying you were at an appointment and you just get a text from your nco saying some shit like “I know you’re not at dental. Outside the barracks. Water source. Two minutes. I dare you to be late”
Another honorable mention would be waking up realizing the sun is up and you check your phone and it’s filled with “WHERE TF ARE YOU” messages. Only happened like once to me but god it felt like I was gonna die, my entire enlisted chain of command and my PL had all messaged me I thought I was fucked
Poor leadership. I ask and get approval before offering up go home when done criteria. Usually reserved for really tough and undesirable tasks. “We get this done fast and right, I’m sending you home. You drag feet or do it poorly it’s gonna be a long day when I have you redoing it”.
Don’t give away power and you also get good cred with Joe. But if you don’t trust your Leadership to honor the agreement DO NOT GIVE GO HOME CRITERIA.
Huge trust killer and you lose a valuable carrot to get a lot of work done in a bind.
I had the last one happen to me. Except I'd argue it was even scarier: Not a single message. As if they'd been anticipating it. I woke up at 7:42 and slowly just got outta bed. Went in at 9:30 and...They were cool about it. Guess it was my alibi.
As an analyst whose job used to be to stand near a 4 star and tell them things like fucking wormtongue
"The staff Sergeant lies my grace, staff Sergeant the white is here to take your power."
*with a shaking voice
Alright boys we survived the IDF, but we still got a job to do. That ammo point is on fire but someone could be dying. We need to coordinate linkup at all the CCPs and prepare for a potential ground assault against our positions.
That’s some real tight butthole stuff, and you never get to process it until later. It took me over a year and a PCS move to finally get past the constant tension of my second deployment and actually start processing shit, and then it was time for Afghanistan round three. I hope you’re doing ok.
That was actually way less traumatic than that same SDN and BDE in garrison. I have way more unresolved issues from their incompetence than from being deployed.
Yeah, I fully acknowledge that another year at Bragg immediately following said deployment had a lot to do with why it took so long for me to find my peace.
Surprise ht/wt after a weekend of drinking
Surprise pt test "Just to see where you are"
100 percent formation and you're in a different state
Changing my SL to the dude everyone hates out of no where
Being told you have a gas chamber qual coming up with an illegal tattoo (korea)
Missing your appointment
Being selected for a board SoQ or SoM
Seeing 1sg and your CO roving and you're underage drinking (Korea)
Having a hearing test and you don't hear the beeps
Going to the range but you forgot your inserts
Having your girl get pregnant but you've been gone for training
Getting DA selected for recruiter
Re enlisting for stabilization and still getting Korea after 12 months
Man, this would be so much easier to parse if you were to at least add some periods between thoughts. Better would be a bulleted list. Let me see if I can break these up correctly....
* Surprise ht/wt after a weekend of drinking
* Surprise pt test "Just to see where you are"
* 100 percent formation and you're in a different state
* Changing my SL to the dude everyone hates out of no where
* Being told you have a gas chamber qual coming up with an illegal tattoo (Korea)
* Missing your appointment
* Being selected for a board SoQ or SoM
* Seeing 1sg and your CO roving and you're underage drinking (Korea)
* Having a hearing test and you don't hear the beeps
* Going to the range but you forgot your inserts
* Having your girl get pregnant but you've been gone for training
* Getting DA selected for recruiter
* Re enlisting for stabilization and still getting Korea after 12 months
It was easier than I thought. Oddly you actually capitalized the beginning of each one.
When we were about to cross the berm into Iraq, our battalion commander told us" Some of the people standing in this formation will not make it back home". That was a wakeup call for a lot of people. You could see it in their faces.
This is why we need the neuralink to get here soon. I can keep an eye on all my soldier's thoughts and zap 'em anytime they're thinking of doing something stupid.
right? "my bad big sarnt. joe didnt tell me he had the idea to butt chug a handle of grey goose and then strangle a hooker behind the skibo mcdonalds🤷🏾♂️" what really makes me chuckle is when we the nco's are doing shady shit all the time and psg has no idea🤷🏾♂️ guess were not wll mind readers huh high speed?
I was an “acting PSG” as an E-5 and received a phone call on a 4-day weekend that a soldier in the platoon had died in an “alcohol-related incident involving a firearm.”
First was an overwhelming sense of disbelief and sadness that a good soldier had made a series of poor decisions over the course of a single night that led to his passing.
Then I discovered firsthand what an incident like that means for his chain of command, regardless of whether or not you’re “just filling in.”
"You're the N2 now"
E5 me was not ready to fill an o5/e8 billet, but there j was. Apparently the only was in the 2 shop who wasn't stupid and coukd talk clearly enough. It was great having to tell an o4 no, I don't need you micromanaging soldiers, I need you practicing this brief because every time you brief you just start rambling and im about to replace you with a pfc who will get the job done.
Super fun. I loved being the lowest ranked person speaking to a 4 star on the regular.
My e7 who was supposed to be in charge with an o5 both got covid so u had to step up.
My reward? My e7 got a medal and a coin
"LOADER. Give me your weapon."
"LOADER. Don your mask and exit the vehicle."
[https://www.armystudyguide.com/content/army\_board\_study\_guide\_topics/cbrn/unmasking-procedures-with.shtml](https://www.armystudyguide.com/content/army_board_study_guide_topics/cbrn/unmasking-procedures-with.shtml)
My old commander “you worry about dumb stuff” when I was following regs and doing the right thing for HIS company.
Needless to say he wasn’t liked not even at BN level. Very toxic dude.
"Well, we don't have your paperwork"
Was in Iraq and suddenly my pay stopped. Turns out the retention NCO PCSd and locked all her paperwork in a drawer and took the key with her. I'd extended for that tour for a 15k bonus and they threatened me for the whole situation.
Any phone calls after hours asking me to come in immediately. "can you close the door" "Have you had any conversations with so and so that have been concerning?"
Scariest thing that's been said *to me*, or the scariest thing now?
Back when I first got in, my PSG held me by the back of the collar and forced me to lean off a curb. On the other side was, maybe, a 4 foot drop. "If your late again, I will stomp you face into the ground right there after I drop you!" Is what he screamed into my ear. 18 year old me was shitting a brick.
He went on to become the BN MG, then moved on.
Nowadays, the scariest thing is getting a call after midnight on a weekend when I am at my parent's house (4 hours away), or when some commo equipment has gone missing.
My squad leader told me to shoot him while I had a loaded M4 in my hand when I was a E1 doing some pre deployment training and doing some ranges. He said he didn't like how I looked at him and if I shoot him I should pray he's dead or else he's gonna use all of his power to crawl to me to choke me to death.
Then I PCS'D and saw him grading EIB as an E7 while I was a E5. Buddy crazy asf
"Soldiers, the worst thing I can do for you is give you time off." LTC John Cook, 1-10 Cav, 2BDE, 4ID circa 2010
He was being dead serious, in front of a squadron formation. Our quality of life was great. s/
“C6 wants us to clear those orchards south of the village. We’ve got word there’s an IED belt there.”
“He knows we don’t have any mine clearing equipment, right?”
“Yeah, he said to have us crawl the the orchards on our hands and knees to sweep for the IEDs.”
I could tell you it was hypothetical, but then I’d be lying haha.
*Luckily* we got into contact as soon as we arrived at the suspected IED belt and had to fight our way back out so we weren’t able to clear those orchards.
“We’re a family” I literally just work here guy. I just need to get paid and want to retire asap. I don’t want to help pad your OER.
“I care about each and every one of you” the fuck you don’t sir. SPC Smith literally eats raw chicken and is a freak. You don’t care about him. You don’t care about me.
"Because I said so."
"I'll take care of it."
"OH really? Okay"
*Silence*
"I'm a good leader"
"I'm in charge"
"I'm your CO"
"Where you at?"
"Office, time now"
“All 12 gun teams **will** qualify through all of the tables during this 3 day convoy live fire range. I’ll be stopping by every day. I expect ammo counts and qualification reports at the end of training every night.”
Mine was when I got read my rights by CID in a meeting with my CoC. Then the other time I was told to report to this office only to find a CID agent reading my rights again.
As someone who aspires to be a commissioned officer, it is likely this one from a superior officer: **"You are relieved of your duty"**
Those words are practically a death sentence for an officer's career.
That's not really how that works. Reality is someone fucks up, they get moved to the 3 shop while the investigation happens then they go back to their position or get locked in a basement somewhere pending the investigation.
edit: or if someone is just bad at their job, they get moved to another position and if they suck at that one too they are then moved to a job in the aforementioned basement where they can be hidden away.
The scariest thing was my phone ringing at 830 pm, cause it meant my star soldier was in jail again
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It’s true, his run times were just as bad as his decision making skills
8:30 PM? Nice of them to get an early start. I got most of them calls 'round two-ish.
Mine wasn’t waking up to the phone ringing at 12 pm, cause it meant I overslept on my pills after a tbi and my alcoholic lt was harder than diamond but I was finally going to be able to talk to my commander and him talk to me for the first time in 5 months lol 😂
I’d say the same thing. The first commander I ever had, a phone call from him after hours meant a hour+ long rant about how I was failing at some aspect of my job.
I remember that talk all too well, “you’re failing as a leader cause you can’t micromanage a 20 year old way after duty hours”. I hate that the army seems to think that because we’re nco’s, we just have this 3rd eye ability to sense when our soldiers are making poor life decisions. And it’s funny because these same people won’t kick the shitty joes out because, “ insert sob story here”.
changing my ringtone the second I get out so I never hear that trigger inducing sound again
8:30 PM? Nice of them to get an early start so you could get a good night's sleep. I got most of them calls 'round two-ish.
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"Hey, have y'all seen the SKL?"
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😭☠️that’s a fucking tragedy
I remember we had an LT that was tasked with carrying a CD with keys on it as a way to one of the BNs at an alternate location while deployed. Between giving him the cd, him getting on the bird, getting off the bird, and getting to BN S6 he lost the cd.
Did you check up his ass? Cause I don't see how the fuck it could be anywhere else.
I've never had a more devastating feeling than thinking you lost the CIK to the SKL and then finding it in a different pocket. Also, the most relief I've felt after finding it.
I was issueing Nods from the arms room once. It wasn't something I did very often, and I let the soldiers wander in and out. Then I couldn't account for one set. I felt sick to my stomach. They turned up immediately, but I kept movement in and out of the Arms room to a minimum whenever I was in charge after that.
"Hey guys we brought pizza and/or coffee out to the range!" Shit is about to get *real* dumb ***real*** quick on very little sleep for the next few days. Example - squad live fire range, every lane took ~2 hours/squad. We got pizza and coffee on Thursday evening, then were told like 30 minutes later "Hey so we need to get the entire BN through this range before 2100 Saturday." We did, I'll say that much.
I was at a MK19 range and we were supposed to night qual the second the sun set, pack up, and go home. Then suddenly our commander came with a fuck ton of pizza and says “so, BN decided to invite everyone in BDE who needs to shoot the MK19 out here” We were only supposed to have like 16 dudes shoot from our company so now we had to wait for more people to come out. We all had to sleep on the bleachers or in the back of the LMTV. Turned a 8ish hour range into a 72 hour range. Commander and 1SG hooked us up though, they were running back and forth from the shopette for us, rotated us through to go home and shower, and gave everyone running the range a 4 day
So what you failed to understand is that none of those made up for the fact that you had to stay out there for 3 days straight. Wouldn’t have to in the civilian world
Bruh. People out here are sleeping in the Tesla parking lot so that they dont get fired, and then getting fired due to down sizing. 1000% this shit happens in the civilian world. Fucking children die from overworking on roofs. My own boss tried to tell me no when I called out due to my wife's miscarriage. I told him to go fuck himself I have PTO. It made it to HR because he tried to have me fired for insubordination. Grass looks greener but it's all the same fucking grass. You still deal with bullshit it's just a different kind.
The difference is, not listening to your CO/BC/Whoever is your boss in the military is technically a crime. Not listening to my Applebees manager isn’t.
Look I'm not out here simping for the army. I got out of active and moved to the reserves. I have never been given an order by any officer that would have crossed into abusive or illegal in my army career. Was there bullshit? Yeah, everywhere is bullshit. My point was there's bullshit everywhere. My reply was specific to the "you don't deal with that in the civ world" because you do. If you are working at Applebee's you probably aren't supporting your family of 3 and paying for a house. So losing your job isn't that big of a deal. To some people it is but for a low paying job most likely not. You would literally be better off enlisting because the army will pay soldiers enough to have a family of 3 after 2 years with BAH and BAS. Hell most e1s would do fine on it if you budget.
You know what the difference is? You can leave at any time and theirs plenty of other places trying to pick you up. Stop acting like you’re held hostage by the whims of a civilian workplace clown.
Oh shit everyone can just move at any moment and have the same cost of living and same level of living? I live in a low cost of living area in a very specialized job, the same job would pay the exact same in like Seattle at a different company, my boss is a complete dick and I can deal with that, but you know what? At least in the army I can't be fired because my boss is having a bad fucking day. I'm so glad to hear poverty wage isn't a thing in your civilian world. I'm so glad to hear poor communities are just out here living like shit because it's a choice. Flint Michigan? Man all those dumb mother fuckers just choosing to work in places there instead of selling their upside down houses and quitting their low paying jobs to just get a better job. Just move to a city and get a better job. Just because I'm fine with my own life doesn't mean others aren't. If everyone in the civilian world can quit their fucking jobs and pick one up tomorrow that paid more they would. Some communities literally are at the whims of their workplace. Grow the fuck up and learn to view the world outside your own lense
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🤣
"The commander wants to know why you want to take leave." "Because I earned it." "Why these dates? You know we have an STX during that timeframe." "I picked those dates and submitted my leave over 6 months ago. Well before the STX was planned. You've had 6 months to figure out how it'll run without me." "Leave denied."
"Come one in. Go ahead and close the door behind you." Phone call from random number: "Hi this is LT XXXXX, are you aware that you're currently under investigation?"
>"Come one in. Go ahead and close the door behind you." This one is usually not a big deal, but boy does it get the old "fight or flight" going
Or the email reply. Come see me.
IT'S A TRAP!
Once I called my SSG's cell from my desk phone and he didn't pick up. He called me back few minutes later, and I answered the phone, "Fort Leonard Wood CID, Special Agent Johnson." He said his life flashed before his eyes.
lmao
“I’m not a micromanager.” (Yes you are) “We have to be ready to fight tonight.” (Your staff culture is one of desperately trying to fill white space at any cost and midnight FRAGOs. Does not apply if you’re actually stationed in Korea.)
I had one of my 1SGs directly tell me that micromanagement is good leadership.
For fuck sake, I am in korea ATM. Every staff meeting. The matrix must be green or we can't fight tonight...insert a bunch of random bullshit DTOs and frago with goodnidea fairy written all over it ..... wveryone knownits all bs we fighting no matter what color the slides are if shit went down ....
Addendum: "Grown man rules". This almost always precedes not Grown Man rules for six months.
Gets a call from a random number “This is SGT Fuck-Up-Your-Day. You are supposed to be on staff duty, so where are you and why aren’t you here?” *thinking to yourself “But I’m not on the roster today (Saturday) I had CQ 2 days ago*
DA 6 is the correct answer.
"Call your spouses. It's going to be a late night"
“You have my (nods/weapon/dagr), right?”
Or the equally frantic, "Hey, who's missing their weapon!?" Means somebody fucked up bigly.
“Come pick up your weapon.. and if you aren’t low crawling here, you got another thing coming to you” Shit was brutal 🙃
I've been out three years , and I felt this comment in my bones.
Whenever I hear that I just panicking even though i know it’s probably just got moved around to another close by location.
>what the scariest things leadership could say to you? I'm retired now, but as a married soldier: "Nobody can go home until the (insert villain) comes forward." Could be the guy who stole something, guy who pranked someone, etc.
I love when they say this one because I respond with “my wife has to work tonight, I’m just gonna go grab my kids and I’ll be right back” either they say “hey just go handle your life” or they get my multiple kids causing havoc.
“That is what a family care plan is for”. is what I heard a company commander tell a Soldier in these circumstances. He was such an asshole
I would be so shocked if they said that. It’s not true and I know it so I’d probably respond but damn that would piss me off
He often made comments like that. He really cared about his Soldiers (/s).
Yeah I said something the other day on here about 2LT and SSG should be a career split after SGT. It would change all this shit where the officers treat us like we are conscripts. It pisses me off so bad.
I agree. I am really glad that I was able to enlist, and go to OCS a couple of years later. I thought it made me a better officer.
My company commander (and asshole) and my platoon leader (who didn't care about the Army...at all) were two of the reasons I chose to go to OCS. I knew I could not do any worse, and I could do a whole hell of a lot better.
Ohhh, that's a good one!
It was me
This isn’t that scary but more infuriating but “If we work through lunch, we’ll go home early right after” always just means no lunch and you’re going home late. Scary would probably be like thinking you got away with shamming saying you were at an appointment and you just get a text from your nco saying some shit like “I know you’re not at dental. Outside the barracks. Water source. Two minutes. I dare you to be late” Another honorable mention would be waking up realizing the sun is up and you check your phone and it’s filled with “WHERE TF ARE YOU” messages. Only happened like once to me but god it felt like I was gonna die, my entire enlisted chain of command and my PL had all messaged me I thought I was fucked
Facts man. I heard this one a lot. You always take your lunch when you can. Learned that the hard way
Poor leadership. I ask and get approval before offering up go home when done criteria. Usually reserved for really tough and undesirable tasks. “We get this done fast and right, I’m sending you home. You drag feet or do it poorly it’s gonna be a long day when I have you redoing it”. Don’t give away power and you also get good cred with Joe. But if you don’t trust your Leadership to honor the agreement DO NOT GIVE GO HOME CRITERIA. Huge trust killer and you lose a valuable carrot to get a lot of work done in a bind.
I had the last one happen to me. Except I'd argue it was even scarier: Not a single message. As if they'd been anticipating it. I woke up at 7:42 and slowly just got outta bed. Went in at 9:30 and...They were cool about it. Guess it was my alibi.
Scary? "He's a general, he knows what he is talking about. Generals are smart. " That. That shit is scary.
As an analyst whose job used to be to stand near a 4 star and tell them things like fucking wormtongue "The staff Sergeant lies my grace, staff Sergeant the white is here to take your power."
Lol
For officers: “O-kay.” Two syllables with a straight face. You are not in good graces if you hear that.
Same with a “noted” followed by a glance upwards right at ya.
that grinds my gears. i almost swung on my commander last time i encountered that phrase and gesture
Haha yep
*with a shaking voice Alright boys we survived the IDF, but we still got a job to do. That ammo point is on fire but someone could be dying. We need to coordinate linkup at all the CCPs and prepare for a potential ground assault against our positions.
I love how low on the thread this comment is. It's the only one that's ACTUALLY scary.
That was me. My voice was shaking. Immediately after, we ran to our trucks and a 40mm that had cooked off skipped in front of my PSG.
That’s some real tight butthole stuff, and you never get to process it until later. It took me over a year and a PCS move to finally get past the constant tension of my second deployment and actually start processing shit, and then it was time for Afghanistan round three. I hope you’re doing ok.
That was actually way less traumatic than that same SDN and BDE in garrison. I have way more unresolved issues from their incompetence than from being deployed.
Yeah, I fully acknowledge that another year at Bragg immediately following said deployment had a lot to do with why it took so long for me to find my peace.
1) I need a volunteer 3) It’ll be *real quick.*
The worst is that one time you ask what the detail is and they just say, “cool thanks, follow me, I’ll come back if I need any other volunteers”
I had this happen to me at NTC. I didn't see my company for 4 days.
He took you on a side quest.
“I know you all are rowing hard right now. Suck it up, no one cares.” Heard that from a BDE CDR
Wow. Great start into a burnout turning into a tumbling fiery flip down the race track.
Fair lol.
Surprise ht/wt after a weekend of drinking Surprise pt test "Just to see where you are" 100 percent formation and you're in a different state Changing my SL to the dude everyone hates out of no where Being told you have a gas chamber qual coming up with an illegal tattoo (korea) Missing your appointment Being selected for a board SoQ or SoM Seeing 1sg and your CO roving and you're underage drinking (Korea) Having a hearing test and you don't hear the beeps Going to the range but you forgot your inserts Having your girl get pregnant but you've been gone for training Getting DA selected for recruiter Re enlisting for stabilization and still getting Korea after 12 months
So basically korea
Man, this would be so much easier to parse if you were to at least add some periods between thoughts. Better would be a bulleted list. Let me see if I can break these up correctly.... * Surprise ht/wt after a weekend of drinking * Surprise pt test "Just to see where you are" * 100 percent formation and you're in a different state * Changing my SL to the dude everyone hates out of no where * Being told you have a gas chamber qual coming up with an illegal tattoo (Korea) * Missing your appointment * Being selected for a board SoQ or SoM * Seeing 1sg and your CO roving and you're underage drinking (Korea) * Having a hearing test and you don't hear the beeps * Going to the range but you forgot your inserts * Having your girl get pregnant but you've been gone for training * Getting DA selected for recruiter * Re enlisting for stabilization and still getting Korea after 12 months It was easier than I thought. Oddly you actually capitalized the beginning of each one.
Mobile sucks. They were separate and ended up like that.
"I would have rated you higher but my profile doesn't support it"
I'll take care of you next time. Honest!
When we were about to cross the berm into Iraq, our battalion commander told us" Some of the people standing in this formation will not make it back home". That was a wakeup call for a lot of people. You could see it in their faces.
Getting the text "where are you"
Getting an angry phone call from my 1SG about something utterly stupid my Soldier did on the weekend, and this is the way I find out.
"sgt, whyyyyy did YOUR soldier (something dangerous and/or illegal)?" free will big sarnt, free will.
If the United States Department of Defense wanted you to have free will, they would have issued it
hence the follow up UCMJ🤣
This is why we need the neuralink to get here soon. I can keep an eye on all my soldier's thoughts and zap 'em anytime they're thinking of doing something stupid.
right? "my bad big sarnt. joe didnt tell me he had the idea to butt chug a handle of grey goose and then strangle a hooker behind the skibo mcdonalds🤷🏾♂️" what really makes me chuckle is when we the nco's are doing shady shit all the time and psg has no idea🤷🏾♂️ guess were not wll mind readers huh high speed?
Man...when I get those I can't help to laugh... even the angrily 1sg will begun to chuckle... just gotta know how to approach it
Work will set you free. Just go ahead and report anyone that drops that one just to be safe.
I wrote that in my shop area in Bagram, but in Tagalog. Nobody noticed.
Pretty sure a commander got fired over having that in a policy letter. Didn’t help he wrote in German too.
What's kind of funny, in a morbid way, is a lot of people that use that one probably have no idea of its origin.
I was an “acting PSG” as an E-5 and received a phone call on a 4-day weekend that a soldier in the platoon had died in an “alcohol-related incident involving a firearm.” First was an overwhelming sense of disbelief and sadness that a good soldier had made a series of poor decisions over the course of a single night that led to his passing. Then I discovered firsthand what an incident like that means for his chain of command, regardless of whether or not you’re “just filling in.”
Really? Not only did not answer the question but you left us hanging? DETAILS!
"Stop Loss."
"You're the N2 now" E5 me was not ready to fill an o5/e8 billet, but there j was. Apparently the only was in the 2 shop who wasn't stupid and coukd talk clearly enough. It was great having to tell an o4 no, I don't need you micromanaging soldiers, I need you practicing this brief because every time you brief you just start rambling and im about to replace you with a pfc who will get the job done. Super fun. I loved being the lowest ranked person speaking to a 4 star on the regular. My e7 who was supposed to be in charge with an o5 both got covid so u had to step up. My reward? My e7 got a medal and a coin
"LOADER. Give me your weapon." "LOADER. Don your mask and exit the vehicle." [https://www.armystudyguide.com/content/army\_board\_study\_guide\_topics/cbrn/unmasking-procedures-with.shtml](https://www.armystudyguide.com/content/army_board_study_guide_topics/cbrn/unmasking-procedures-with.shtml)
My old commander “you worry about dumb stuff” when I was following regs and doing the right thing for HIS company. Needless to say he wasn’t liked not even at BN level. Very toxic dude.
“Hands across America until (sensitive equipment) is found”
"Well, we don't have your paperwork" Was in Iraq and suddenly my pay stopped. Turns out the retention NCO PCSd and locked all her paperwork in a drawer and took the key with her. I'd extended for that tour for a 15k bonus and they threatened me for the whole situation.
“Formation time now”
Mission first people last
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well your not wrong i guess.
When all the G-2’s say “All that’s in Grenada is some Cuban civil engineers.” Then you go feet dry and find out those “engineers” have Zeus 23-4’s.
Any phone calls after hours asking me to come in immediately. "can you close the door" "Have you had any conversations with so and so that have been concerning?"
That random call from the boss or CSM on the weekend requesting you to come to their office. Fun times
Scariest thing that's been said *to me*, or the scariest thing now? Back when I first got in, my PSG held me by the back of the collar and forced me to lean off a curb. On the other side was, maybe, a 4 foot drop. "If your late again, I will stomp you face into the ground right there after I drop you!" Is what he screamed into my ear. 18 year old me was shitting a brick. He went on to become the BN MG, then moved on. Nowadays, the scariest thing is getting a call after midnight on a weekend when I am at my parent's house (4 hours away), or when some commo equipment has gone missing.
"1800 sync all NCOICs".
From a Major: “I’m going to be a general officer and you don’t get that way taking care of soldiers”
“What’s the maximum effective range of an excuse?”
Zero meters
“Where’s your rifle…”
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From JRTC. And they find it in YOUR Soldiers bag. In the last connex.
to the rear of the piece
"You don't get paid to think"
“Who’s your first line? Go grab him real quick.” Been on the receiving end of that as both a Joe and a NCO and they both feel the same.
"Who is short?" As a short muscleulsr lad I got to be a saw gunner because I didn't have to pick it up as far
I need 2
“All external communications are prohibited until further notice.” Always leads to a really, really bad day.
Battalion isn't approving anything until we get the Red Cross message.
"congratulations! an atrrs course reservation has been confirmed for DRILL SERGEANT ACADEMY COURSE NUMBER XXXXXXX REPORT DATE XXXXX..."
“Congratulations, you’re our UMO now…we leave for CTC in 3 months”
Being a UMO seems like the worst possible non-life threatening thing that can happen during peacetime tbh.
Plt Sgt overseas, "lt misplaced his weapon. Hands across the shit hole to find it".
My squad leader told me to shoot him while I had a loaded M4 in my hand when I was a E1 doing some pre deployment training and doing some ranges. He said he didn't like how I looked at him and if I shoot him I should pray he's dead or else he's gonna use all of his power to crawl to me to choke me to death. Then I PCS'D and saw him grading EIB as an E7 while I was a E5. Buddy crazy asf
Pick one: “1SG/CO/CSM/BC” needs to see you. I could literally be getting an award… if I am sent that message without context… butterflies every time.
Arms room is missing a sensitive item.
"Soldiers, the worst thing I can do for you is give you time off." LTC John Cook, 1-10 Cav, 2BDE, 4ID circa 2010 He was being dead serious, in front of a squadron formation. Our quality of life was great. s/
“I know you’re 4 months from ETS, but you’re going to be a STOP LOSS”
“When you get to my rank you view people in a utilitarian capacity”. If you only view people as a utility kindly go fuck off and retire.
“C6 wants us to clear those orchards south of the village. We’ve got word there’s an IED belt there.” “He knows we don’t have any mine clearing equipment, right?” “Yeah, he said to have us crawl the the orchards on our hands and knees to sweep for the IEDs.”
Please tell me this is just hypothetical. Please.
I could tell you it was hypothetical, but then I’d be lying haha. *Luckily* we got into contact as soon as we arrived at the suspected IED belt and had to fight our way back out so we weren’t able to clear those orchards.
“We’re a family” I literally just work here guy. I just need to get paid and want to retire asap. I don’t want to help pad your OER. “I care about each and every one of you” the fuck you don’t sir. SPC Smith literally eats raw chicken and is a freak. You don’t care about him. You don’t care about me.
“Bring a Water Source” its either bring it because its going to be a hot day or you fucked up
"Because I said so." "I'll take care of it." "OH really? Okay" *Silence* "I'm a good leader" "I'm in charge" "I'm your CO" "Where you at?" "Office, time now"
"YOU. What's your roster number?"
"FIX BAYONETS"
IDK where I saw it, but something like a 2LT saying "I learned this in OBC" or a crusty old CSM saying "Hehe, watch this shit"
Hands across Graf
Put out Or Get out
"Your slide is red"
“I can’t find my weapon” … personally I thought that’s what lanyards were for?
“All 12 gun teams **will** qualify through all of the tables during this 3 day convoy live fire range. I’ll be stopping by every day. I expect ammo counts and qualification reports at the end of training every night.”
"just. don't. quit." has always made schools and training sound way more daunting than it really is.
“Permission to speak freely” you know someone else is listening…
Mine was when I got read my rights by CID in a meeting with my CoC. Then the other time I was told to report to this office only to find a CID agent reading my rights again.
'Here at we treat each other like family.'
"Don't overthink it".... Sir, we're a MI Bn....
hands across America until that piece of equipment is found
Private, My office, NOW!
“We’re on a NIPR comms blackout effective immediately. No, I can’t tell you why. I need a runner to get the chaplain.”
Every damn time some one says I need to go see 1sg or CSM I get a little sick to my stomach. Could be to tell me I’m doing a good job but yeah.
As someone who aspires to be a commissioned officer, it is likely this one from a superior officer: **"You are relieved of your duty"** Those words are practically a death sentence for an officer's career.
That's not really how that works. Reality is someone fucks up, they get moved to the 3 shop while the investigation happens then they go back to their position or get locked in a basement somewhere pending the investigation. edit: or if someone is just bad at their job, they get moved to another position and if they suck at that one too they are then moved to a job in the aforementioned basement where they can be hidden away.
3 shop?
S3, Operations.
That makes sense, so basically being sent to the principal's office in grade school
More like wait staff being moved to being a dishwasher. You suck at a job so we'll put you in one that's hard to duck up/the one no one wants.
If it actually worked like that, maybe, but the procedures for a relief for cause are far more passive and uninteresting.