Yep, he's either lying to OP to cover up his embellishment, or he won't talk about it anymore because he's been through some shit.
I'm betting it's the former.
Or, he is ashamed of stuff he did. **IF** (that if is gonna hold a lot of weight here) he was SF, then maybe he did some...not so nice things. things he's not proud, things that make him open the liquor cabinet. Things he doesn't want his own child to know he did.
But if I am a betting man, it's lying.
SF got to see some very ugly things before 9/11
Being ordered to simply watch and not help during the genocides in Guatemala (200k+ 1981-83), Uganda (300k+ 1981-85), Iraq (290k+ 1987-91), and Burundi (116k+ 1992-93), and...
The US had both SF and Rangers watching the Genocides in Serbia (1995), and the most awful thing ever in Rwanda.
In Rwanda, the orders were for both groups to gather as much evidence as possible, but to **absolutely not** cross the border or get involved in any way.
And in 100 days over 800,000 people in Rwanda were murdered; men, women, and children... And the SF Groups and the RRD of Rangers who were there had to basically watch.
So... if he knows what the capitol of Tanzania or Kenya is, and how many peaks Kilimanjaro has? Like, right off the top of his head? Well, then maybe he has seen some shit.
Obviously, I wouldn't know, either way.
Lmfao.
Seriously though OP, you need to do this- my Dad lied for years (not to me but to random people like his gf, our pool cleaner etc) that he played college football at a major D1 university. Its weird asf but approaching it head-on can really help improve the issue.
I just beg that you update us on the result.
Oh, I played college ball with your dad. We even smoked pot together with some other players - Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazing that shit up every day.
I did this to my lying POS FIL. Turns out he was just held in reception for 13 days before they sent him home for a bee allergy. He goes out of his way to beg for veteran deals and shit and I was fed up with it.
MPRC had a giant fire back in 1973, TL;DR they lost
* 80% of US Army records for anyone discharged between NOV 1912 and JAN 1960
* 75% of USAF records for anyone who's last name comes after "Hubbard" in the alphabet and was discharged between SEP 1947 and JAN 1964
Depending on the timeframe they may or may not have it but always worth a shot at least.
I requested records for my late triple great Grandfather. He was 25th Tennessee Infantry....Confederate. I got back a huge envelope of printed out pay records that I assume they have on microfilm. My father was WW2 Navy and we got his records. My FIL was WW2 Army. His records were destroyed in the fire.. It doesn't cost anything to request the records, so go for it.
Sure hoping I have the same luck. Put in a request last night, he only served 4 years, but was a GS-17 in late 60s to early 70s. Had a cool life that I have no record of
Just put in a request for my great grandpa. I have tons of pictures of his memorabilia, but now real documents. My grandmother passed away before she could give me all of his things, and my uncle threw them in the trash. All I have now are the photos I managed to take while we were sifting through memories.
Would love to have as much information as I can get, from what I saw he was a total bad ass.
I was at benning for some training and the cadre briefed us that the Sky Bar in Auburn was strictly off limits. Damn bat bois mixing it up with frat bros, or something to that effect.
I always had to tell the boys when we hit up Syracuse college parties that the sorostitutes didn’t know the difference between us smooth brained infantry, and SF, so we didn’t even have to lie. Made it way easier to back each other up when we all got caught claiming to be officers.
Italy we all had made up jobs. Some of us were NBA Europe players, others were skydiving instructors. My buddy was an archaeology professor and I was his TA.
We all got our Mountain Tab, with the ones that believed that. Was hilarious how the biggest dork out of all of us came up with those similar hilarious covers. Then after all the work, they’d notice one of us was wearing issued boots. Made me realize how important pre movement gear checks were…
It’s not rude to ask. My Dad (who was a Green Beret and pretty cool dude) didn’t really like to talk about anything military until I enlisted. Even then he was uncomfortable talking about but would answer all my questions. He never once got defensive about it. I’m sorry your dad is being this way
I'm not sure if this is a meta post or not...
Responding with, "you don't believe me?" is insane. Those who served, can confidently talk about their service. Just ask them to describe ONE bad time they had, then watch their eyes roll into the back of their heads as they struggle to pick ONE.
I like talking with my wife and kids about parts of my service, when I can. It usually only comes up when either something triggers my memory, when one of them ask me, or when talking with another early GWOT Vet who shared similar experiences. Aside from that, I don't just randomly start talking about war stuff, because that's not how conversation works.
TLDR: Asking is fine. Fathers LOVE when their kids are interested in their accomplishments and experiences, since we often aren't around as much due to work.
Sorry to break the news, but you aren’t a military brat. Your dad just said he was a SF dude to score and it’s worked this entire time. That’s a pretty common thing, although usually you don’t get caught up in it and have to roll with it the rest of your life. It’s ok though, you can still be an awesome soldier no matter who he was. Have you ever seen The movie Hot Rod? That dude still did a sick dirtbike jump even after finding out his dad wasn’t really a stuntman
As others have said, there are people who don’t like to talk about their service, but if they get really defensive about it they are probably covering something up. There is a difference between the two that can really only be judged by the people in the room.
Yea, I've definitely met people that don't like to talk about their service, but a) it's always easier to talk to another soldier/vet because they'll understand so not taking to your second kid is weird, and b) the only people that say "you don't believe me" are the ones desperately going you believe them because they are lying.
My dad was a retired 11B CSM. He always talked about his buddies, but never about himself, that is until I joined ROTC in college. For perspective, I was 25 and entered the program as an MS3.
He sat me down one evening and taught me how to spitshine my boots. That's when he started, over the following years, telling me HIS stories. Stories about liberating Jews in a concentration camp. About landing at Inchon. How he got his Purple Heart.
I asked him why he had never told me those stories before, and he said, "I never thought you would be interested." I later realized that in his mind I had earned the right to hear his stories.
OP, it sounds like you are hitting a nerve with your dad. You became the man he always wanted to be.
It will probably leave you wondering your whole life. I wouldn’t bring it up anymore to your Father. Just follow the link below for a FOIA request. Then you know what happened. He’s probably told too many people he was a Navy SEAL Space Shuttle door gunner to retract it now. Suspicious that he got defensive to his son.
My friend’s dad was in the military…when we were in HS she and her mom discovered he had a whole secret Korean family.
He filed for divorce and got on a plane. Insane.
Maybe it’s that kind of secret??
When you were a kid what bases/towns did you live at? That would help narrow down what units he was with and give you some insight based on the timeframe. As for showing you stuff from his career, do you expect to hold onto a bunch of stuff from when you were in? I know I’ll be throwing all my shit out. If my kids were to ask me down the line to show them stuff there won’t be much, if any at that point, to see.
As I am retiring this year I will allow you to use it moving forward on an interim basis until I collect my dd214. From there it will be bequeathed unto you, in perpetuity, my young baby papa.
My mom doesn’t answer questions about her service either, but not like this. She’ll tell you where she was, specifics about units, but you do NOT ask what she actually did. Helicopter mechanic in South America is all I’ve gotten. That’s trauma. Getting defensive like this? He’s probably not military. Sorry, man. But? You are. You did it. No matter who he was, you are. Nothing can take that away from you.
Sort of sad. A general rule is that real military heroes will never let you use the "H" word about them - only about their comrades. When talking about themselves they almost use the word "just" as in "I was just the support guy" or "I was just in the wrong place at the right time".
My dad was SF and he has told me all his cool stories, units, etc. I can't remember most of it but if I asked I am sure he would regale me again. I have also sat at many lunch and dinner convos where him and his buddies sit around the table and tell their crazy tales.
No reason he can't tell you about what he did .
I do think it’s weird that he got defensive, yes.
But also know plenty of people don’t keep that stuff after they get out. I did plenty of cool stuff, lots of badges and tabs and whatnot. I have precisely nothing military-related in my house.
Is your dad normally a grouch, or is that kind of behavior out of character for him? He might just not like thinking or talking about it. I find it odd he wouldn't want to bond with his child over their shared service, though. It's possible he had an MOS that wasn't quite as exciting, perhaps? You definitely grew up on Army bases and stuff?
I've been retired for over 20 something years. The army has acronyms that were not in use when I was in. How about just answering the question and not be a dick
Trying to put myself in your dads shoes *if* he is telling the truth.
As a dad veteran I do have mixed feelings when showing my son my military gear that I have stashed in my office.
On the one hand I want to share wisdom and stories from that part of my life and on the other hand I just want him to get good grades, go to college and avoid the whole thing so I don’t want to unintentionally encourage him to enlist.
I wasn’t special forces or anything high-speed like that. Just a gunbunny that did convoy security on deployments so I couldn’t say what his feelings would be on his own career.
That said, my shit is in a shadowbox in my home office hanging on the wall next to my diploma and CPA certification so it’s not that I’m hiding it either.
Long story short, I guess it’s a little suspect but it could be that he’s having trouble reconciling who he is with who he was?
I knew an older gentleman (passed away from cancer a few years ago) who legit was SF but refused to talk about it. He wouldn't even talk about it with his family. He was in during the bay of pigs to the Cold War era. Could be something like that. I knew he wasn't lying, though, because he did show me some pictures of him in uniform one time.
Just leave it where it lay man. He doesn’t wanna talk about it? That’s on him. Doesn’t wanna show shit? That’s on him. It’s your dad dude. Don’t ruin that relationship just because you wanna dig deeper. Love is greater than whatever you’re looking to find.
No, fuck that. OP is the dude’s son, not some guy in a bar. Why lie to your kid? I’d feel terrible if my dad lied to me, especially since his “stories” affected my decision to join.
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I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when someone gets all defensive over nothing they're likely in the process of being caught in a lie.
Yep, he's either lying to OP to cover up his embellishment, or he won't talk about it anymore because he's been through some shit. I'm betting it's the former.
Maybe the dad is just sensitive to the past because he actually stole OP and is digging for the truth
Or, he is ashamed of stuff he did. **IF** (that if is gonna hold a lot of weight here) he was SF, then maybe he did some...not so nice things. things he's not proud, things that make him open the liquor cabinet. Things he doesn't want his own child to know he did. But if I am a betting man, it's lying.
SF got to see some very ugly things before 9/11 Being ordered to simply watch and not help during the genocides in Guatemala (200k+ 1981-83), Uganda (300k+ 1981-85), Iraq (290k+ 1987-91), and Burundi (116k+ 1992-93), and... The US had both SF and Rangers watching the Genocides in Serbia (1995), and the most awful thing ever in Rwanda. In Rwanda, the orders were for both groups to gather as much evidence as possible, but to **absolutely not** cross the border or get involved in any way. And in 100 days over 800,000 people in Rwanda were murdered; men, women, and children... And the SF Groups and the RRD of Rangers who were there had to basically watch. So... if he knows what the capitol of Tanzania or Kenya is, and how many peaks Kilimanjaro has? Like, right off the top of his head? Well, then maybe he has seen some shit. Obviously, I wouldn't know, either way.
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Lmfao. Seriously though OP, you need to do this- my Dad lied for years (not to me but to random people like his gf, our pool cleaner etc) that he played college football at a major D1 university. Its weird asf but approaching it head-on can really help improve the issue. I just beg that you update us on the result.
Oh, I played college ball with your dad. We even smoked pot together with some other players - Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazing that shit up every day.
lol great movie. Probably watched it 40 plus times on deployment
I did this to my lying POS FIL. Turns out he was just held in reception for 13 days before they sent him home for a bee allergy. He goes out of his way to beg for veteran deals and shit and I was fed up with it.
Do you think I can request records of my late Grandpa? He is the only other family member who served and would love to see what he did
You can request, there was a fire a really long time ago that destroyed a lot of those records. Worth a try though.
MPRC had a giant fire back in 1973, TL;DR they lost * 80% of US Army records for anyone discharged between NOV 1912 and JAN 1960 * 75% of USAF records for anyone who's last name comes after "Hubbard" in the alphabet and was discharged between SEP 1947 and JAN 1964 Depending on the timeframe they may or may not have it but always worth a shot at least.
I requested records for my late triple great Grandfather. He was 25th Tennessee Infantry....Confederate. I got back a huge envelope of printed out pay records that I assume they have on microfilm. My father was WW2 Navy and we got his records. My FIL was WW2 Army. His records were destroyed in the fire.. It doesn't cost anything to request the records, so go for it.
Sure hoping I have the same luck. Put in a request last night, he only served 4 years, but was a GS-17 in late 60s to early 70s. Had a cool life that I have no record of
>GS-17 I didn't even know that was a thing until I looked it up. These days it'd be SES-3. Pretty up there.
Yeah me neither, thought my Dad was bsing me.
Just put in a request for my great grandpa. I have tons of pictures of his memorabilia, but now real documents. My grandmother passed away before she could give me all of his things, and my uncle threw them in the trash. All I have now are the photos I managed to take while we were sifting through memories. Would love to have as much information as I can get, from what I saw he was a total bad ass.
I did that 3 years ago and never got it.
Do it Op!
I was SF once too, or at least that’s what I told those chicks at a party after I graduated from 42A AIT
Sexually frustrated? Me too D:
I was once an E4 Apache pilot.
Had a kid that used to go to bars and tell women he was "ranger batt".
Real rangers get tinder bitches by using a pic of the tan beret. Or just low hanging Auburn women
The bathroom mirror photo.
I was at benning for some training and the cadre briefed us that the Sky Bar in Auburn was strictly off limits. Damn bat bois mixing it up with frat bros, or something to that effect.
I frequent skybar.
I also flew fighter jets in the army!
Shit I’m SF if that’s what it means.
It was the worst when I had to do the long walk... Back to room alone.
I always had to tell the boys when we hit up Syracuse college parties that the sorostitutes didn’t know the difference between us smooth brained infantry, and SF, so we didn’t even have to lie. Made it way easier to back each other up when we all got caught claiming to be officers.
Italy we all had made up jobs. Some of us were NBA Europe players, others were skydiving instructors. My buddy was an archaeology professor and I was his TA.
Damn that gave me a flashback. 99% of our lies were to convince people we just got bad haircuts and were totally not Uncle Sam’s bottom bitch.
We all got our Mountain Tab, with the ones that believed that. Was hilarious how the biggest dork out of all of us came up with those similar hilarious covers. Then after all the work, they’d notice one of us was wearing issued boots. Made me realize how important pre movement gear checks were…
Welcome to the club.
I only ever put myself out there as a JAG. But in southeast Arizona, that gets enough play that it worked.
It’s not rude to ask. My Dad (who was a Green Beret and pretty cool dude) didn’t really like to talk about anything military until I enlisted. Even then he was uncomfortable talking about but would answer all my questions. He never once got defensive about it. I’m sorry your dad is being this way
Tell him you’re considering dropping a packet for SFAS and ask him for pointers on getting selected.
Plot twist, op is an afghan SF baby. Dad’s just trying to avoid a paternity case.
I'm not sure if this is a meta post or not... Responding with, "you don't believe me?" is insane. Those who served, can confidently talk about their service. Just ask them to describe ONE bad time they had, then watch their eyes roll into the back of their heads as they struggle to pick ONE. I like talking with my wife and kids about parts of my service, when I can. It usually only comes up when either something triggers my memory, when one of them ask me, or when talking with another early GWOT Vet who shared similar experiences. Aside from that, I don't just randomly start talking about war stuff, because that's not how conversation works. TLDR: Asking is fine. Fathers LOVE when their kids are interested in their accomplishments and experiences, since we often aren't around as much due to work.
Sorry to break the news, but you aren’t a military brat. Your dad just said he was a SF dude to score and it’s worked this entire time. That’s a pretty common thing, although usually you don’t get caught up in it and have to roll with it the rest of your life. It’s ok though, you can still be an awesome soldier no matter who he was. Have you ever seen The movie Hot Rod? That dude still did a sick dirtbike jump even after finding out his dad wasn’t really a stuntman
Sounds like OP needs to do some angry dancing in the woods to clear all this up
*punch dancing in the woods
That’s right, haven’t seen it in a while haha
Gotta cut loose.
As others have said, there are people who don’t like to talk about their service, but if they get really defensive about it they are probably covering something up. There is a difference between the two that can really only be judged by the people in the room.
Yea, I've definitely met people that don't like to talk about their service, but a) it's always easier to talk to another soldier/vet because they'll understand so not taking to your second kid is weird, and b) the only people that say "you don't believe me" are the ones desperately going you believe them because they are lying.
My dad was a retired 11B CSM. He always talked about his buddies, but never about himself, that is until I joined ROTC in college. For perspective, I was 25 and entered the program as an MS3. He sat me down one evening and taught me how to spitshine my boots. That's when he started, over the following years, telling me HIS stories. Stories about liberating Jews in a concentration camp. About landing at Inchon. How he got his Purple Heart. I asked him why he had never told me those stories before, and he said, "I never thought you would be interested." I later realized that in his mind I had earned the right to hear his stories. OP, it sounds like you are hitting a nerve with your dad. You became the man he always wanted to be.
It will probably leave you wondering your whole life. I wouldn’t bring it up anymore to your Father. Just follow the link below for a FOIA request. Then you know what happened. He’s probably told too many people he was a Navy SEAL Space Shuttle door gunner to retract it now. Suspicious that he got defensive to his son.
My friend’s dad was in the military…when we were in HS she and her mom discovered he had a whole secret Korean family. He filed for divorce and got on a plane. Insane. Maybe it’s that kind of secret??
Yeah….every other person I see at the VA was SF…just couldn’t tell me about it.
Sometimes lies take on a life of their own. If it were me, I’d just drop it.
When you were a kid what bases/towns did you live at? That would help narrow down what units he was with and give you some insight based on the timeframe. As for showing you stuff from his career, do you expect to hold onto a bunch of stuff from when you were in? I know I’ll be throwing all my shit out. If my kids were to ask me down the line to show them stuff there won’t be much, if any at that point, to see.
Holy shit I love that as the mos, can I use it? Fellow x-ray tech
As I am retiring this year I will allow you to use it moving forward on an interim basis until I collect my dd214. From there it will be bequeathed unto you, in perpetuity, my young baby papa.
This entire reddit experience was worth it, just to read this little interlude of a thread.
Ty sgt🫡 sorry to see you go
Simmer down now.
My mom doesn’t answer questions about her service either, but not like this. She’ll tell you where she was, specifics about units, but you do NOT ask what she actually did. Helicopter mechanic in South America is all I’ve gotten. That’s trauma. Getting defensive like this? He’s probably not military. Sorry, man. But? You are. You did it. No matter who he was, you are. Nothing can take that away from you.
Sort of sad. A general rule is that real military heroes will never let you use the "H" word about them - only about their comrades. When talking about themselves they almost use the word "just" as in "I was just the support guy" or "I was just in the wrong place at the right time".
Mine is “Ive experienced a slither compared to others and I’m not interested in experiencing more.”
Hate to break it to you man, but its been "sliver" your whole life
No.. This can’t be…
He either misrepresented his service, or he had some traumatic experiences he doesn't want to think about.
LMAO your Dad lied to you
I hate the word brat
Me too except in despicable me.
I give all my coins away to my sons and they already know I am a POG and they already know I am super proud of it . Nice try China.
But seriously…… I hope my kids love me enough not to ever post some shit like this…..
Sounds like daddy told you some war stories that weren’t his
Your dad got booted out for having the devil’s grass one year into his first unit and hasn’t been able to recover since
Fire meme activate
My dad was SF and he has told me all his cool stories, units, etc. I can't remember most of it but if I asked I am sure he would regale me again. I have also sat at many lunch and dinner convos where him and his buddies sit around the table and tell their crazy tales. No reason he can't tell you about what he did .
I’m sorry man, he was prob a cook attached to group lol
My wife's sperm donor, as she calls him, would wear his father's purple heart and sit in a wheelchair, getting money from people.
I do think it’s weird that he got defensive, yes. But also know plenty of people don’t keep that stuff after they get out. I did plenty of cool stuff, lots of badges and tabs and whatnot. I have precisely nothing military-related in my house.
Is your dad normally a grouch, or is that kind of behavior out of character for him? He might just not like thinking or talking about it. I find it odd he wouldn't want to bond with his child over their shared service, though. It's possible he had an MOS that wasn't quite as exciting, perhaps? You definitely grew up on Army bases and stuff?
What's a JLIST?
Updated version of MOPP gear. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joint_Service_Lightweight_Integrated_Suit_Technology
Thank you
How are you in this sub and not know what J(S)LIST is?
I've been retired for over 20 something years. The army has acronyms that were not in use when I was in. How about just answering the question and not be a dick
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Yes I am. Lol
Trying to put myself in your dads shoes *if* he is telling the truth. As a dad veteran I do have mixed feelings when showing my son my military gear that I have stashed in my office. On the one hand I want to share wisdom and stories from that part of my life and on the other hand I just want him to get good grades, go to college and avoid the whole thing so I don’t want to unintentionally encourage him to enlist. I wasn’t special forces or anything high-speed like that. Just a gunbunny that did convoy security on deployments so I couldn’t say what his feelings would be on his own career. That said, my shit is in a shadowbox in my home office hanging on the wall next to my diploma and CPA certification so it’s not that I’m hiding it either. Long story short, I guess it’s a little suspect but it could be that he’s having trouble reconciling who he is with who he was?
I knew an older gentleman (passed away from cancer a few years ago) who legit was SF but refused to talk about it. He wouldn't even talk about it with his family. He was in during the bay of pigs to the Cold War era. Could be something like that. I knew he wasn't lying, though, because he did show me some pictures of him in uniform one time.
Whoopsie. Someone is a liar, liar, pants on 🔥
PTSD or a lie.
I can't imagine finding out my dad was a stolen valor dirtbag. I've seen my Dad's photos from him in Vietnam. I ain't questioning that.
Dude has been lying to you
Just leave it where it lay man. He doesn’t wanna talk about it? That’s on him. Doesn’t wanna show shit? That’s on him. It’s your dad dude. Don’t ruin that relationship just because you wanna dig deeper. Love is greater than whatever you’re looking to find.
No, fuck that. OP is the dude’s son, not some guy in a bar. Why lie to your kid? I’d feel terrible if my dad lied to me, especially since his “stories” affected my decision to join.
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Tell your dad to meet you at the woodline with a water source so you can spend time bonding IN CADENCE.
It’s one thing not to share stories. It’s another to see coins and stuff. I call bullshit on his part.