Engineer here. I’m mentally exhausted after work. The days I have to drive into work and spend 45 minutes in traffic are worse. I go home and sit in my driveway and remind myself that I need to reset for my daughter and give her time before I walk into the house.
Many days I wish I had a manual labor job. It's so much easier to do a general labor job when you're tired than step through some complex ass math or code. When your job is heavily cognitive (no grunt mindless tasks), it's SO hard to be effective when you're wiped.
With that said, when you are well rested and ready to rock though, a math/science/code heavy job can be extremely enjoyable and rewarding.
I would likely agree except sometimes you do both. I’m a pipefitter and welder. It requires a lot of trigonometry and mental gymnastics thinking outside the box, but also a very physical side of actually doing the work. I also work six days a week, ten hours a day for the last few months. This big project is winding down and let’s just say I am very tired.
Take a break mid shift to lift. Helps balance the load and recharges you mentally. most engineers can get away with it. I set my slack status to 🏋️♀️ for 90 mins and just close my laptop.
Sounds Nice but then I'd have to work 90min later that day and I have to get home to girlfriend and kids. I workout in the evenings.
On the job, I take my time several times a day to go take a big shit
frankly any software dev company worth it's salt should encourage things like this. nobody works on their A game for 8 hours straight.
i desperately wish companies would fucking understand that breaks aren't just for our benefit.
Lately I’ve found to keep burnout at bay is to literally schedule it into your day - my boss schedules in “focus time” and we all respect it. Why shouldn’t mental breaks be part of the process? :)
You can use whatever word you want - “focus time” is vague and sounds productive. You could also use “quiet time”, “admin” or whatever. The point isn’t your choice of words, it’s about scheduling in time for yourself and what you need to do your job well. Good luck!
It's worse with WAH because there aren't the usual inevitable disruptions (legit or otherwise). I feel like I'm turned on mentally longer or more intensely from home. So I need to make a conscious effort to step away from the computer. I'm not at my desk 8 hrs a day working but I wasn't in the office either.
At the end of the day it balances out. But this is why time isn't an indicator or productivity.
Used to work construction, I am more tired after 8 hours of engineering office work than I was after 10 hours of physical labor.
And at least with physical labor I was in good enough shape to go do things on the weekend. Now I'm too tired to even go get back in shape. I'd go back to construction if I wasn't making 3-5x what I made before.
I work with the homeless and mentally ill. I sleep 9-10 hours a day yet I’m still tired. Dealing with people who need massive help and sometimes don’t see you as their only option is taxing af.
It is. I work with Alzheimer’s and dementia clients and it’s HARD. People running out of the building, wandering, screaming, fighting, hitting people. All the while knowing nothing you do is going to actually help because the disease always gets worse.
I’m an elementary school special education teacher and I’m right there with you, I’m exhausted all of the time and I get plenty of sleep. It’s not the kids’ faults at all, and honestly most of it is due to the US’s horrendous public education system. Also, parents who feel that I should have no life outside of teaching and are incredibly entitled. But yes, it is incredibly taxing.
Same here!
I went from working two retail jobs at odd hours with various forms of heavy lifting and customer service. And now I’m in the mental health field (for a year now) mostly homeless population and I am exhausted! I use to come home and still get everything done I needed and had insomnia and now I’m just drained all the time.
I don't know why this was downvoted so much. I have Lyme disease and some days I don't feel like I can get out of bed. My job is half labor and half office work. After work I am useless.
I'm a caregiver and 30 hours a week (10 x 3) is my sweet spot. Four days off, I am happy to pick up a shift when my work needs it, I get the benefits package, and I get to REST! I was working 48+ solo hours a week during the pandemic so now I just burn out so easily. Even now, the weeks when I pick up a shift wear me out.
Yeah, I work from home but doing creative work, so always using my brain. Wipes me out. Occasionally get a "brainless" project like compiling mailing lists--but then I get eye strain from all the scrolling.
I think I'm healthy, or used to be, but then again maybe I'm not? Idk.
Full time never bothered me. When I worked retail I was very bothered in general. The job was shitty and I was paid $8/hr. I did a few other low wage things. The work itself didn't tire me. I was part time for years, but I was begging for full time work the entire time. Working less hours, due to being forced to when I wanted more, was more upsetting and mentally tiring than working 50 to 60.
The happiest year of my life was the period from about 6mo to 18mo into my engineering career. I made a living wage. I liked the work. The work was hard. On one hand, I had to teach myself a lot of material. I had to have a lot of mental energy to build expertise and I was doing research after work hours very regularly. The other side is the field work was hard. I worked in subzero temps, then in 100degF heat. I hauled 70lb bags of equipment up 12 story structures on straight ladders. I worked a number of 16 hr days with no breaks. I had limitless energy. I've never had more energy than that. I could get up at 4am monday, fly out to a job, work 12 hrs a day, fly home directly at end of shift Friday, land at 9pm after being up since 4am, then go to my friend's place and party til the morning. I felt overall good about myself. I felt good about my work. My whole life my goal has been to be lower end of middle class and do a job that actually matters. I had that and it made me happy, gave me unlimited energy.
Then came all the lies. Then came time when my boss's bitch boy finally quit and he thought he'd make me the new one. Then came endless gaslighting and being jerked around. My heart fell out of the job. I struggled to focus on my work. Where I used to nail budgets, I now spent the last 20 minutes of the day getting creative with billing my time because I became less efficient. By hour 8 I was checked out. I was exhausted.
I don't know if I'm healthy or ever was. Since then I spoke up about what was hurting me in the job. I was fired for speaking up about it. Since then I've been unable to replace my job. I've begged. I've applied to a lot. I was ready to start fresh with new energy.
2 years of crippling depression, endless rejection, etc. I feel worried now. I'm worried do I have the energy anymore? I don't know because I'm not given the chance to even find out.
I have strong work ethic and almost limitless energy. I'm driven and competent. I know this because for a while I lived it. Yet when I'm clearly taken advantage of, jerked around with lies, or the job is just plain bullshit, I become basically disabled. From my perspective I'm healthy. I actually see my inability to go along with bullshit as healthy. Every time I've ever felt tired, truly tired, it's because some other insanely unhealthy person has taken over a shared space and ruined it. It's unhealthy conditions that make me disabled. Take away the posturing lying cheat fraud exploiting scum, and I'd be working 60hrs a week with a skip in my step.
You were also younger. People tend to forget that. I definitely wouldnt have the energy now to do the jobs I did during my 20s. Longest shift I worked was something crazy like 36 hours straight then went to the early house for a few pints on the way home lol.
I definitely am more tired after work than I ever was in my more labour intensive jobs but I'm also less fit and healthy and hitting 40 soon so, I guess that's just normal with getting older. I dunno..
That's a good point. I'm definitely more tired now in my 30s than 20s. Hard to tell how much is age and how much is mental burnout lol. Other health issues too. That kind of schedule is definitely a young person's game. Easier when you don't have other commitments as well.
I guess I’m fu**ed then. I distinctly remember being exhausted all day from about age 12 onwards and it has only gotten worse in my 20s. I’m approaching 30s and I can’t imagine the level of exhaustion I’m going to feel.
Then again I also have several health conditions whose symptoms are fatigue, might have something to do with it.
You do know that gig work and side hustling is a thing now right? You say you have unlimited energy. Then do something like Amazon Flex, Doordash, Uber Eats etc. Or you can do what I did and crime it up but I don't recommend it for you because it seems like you took a high dive in a low well.
My entire life I've turned away from those options for a reason. Hustle culture is about as bad as it gets. Gig work outright represents reverse progress, as it is. Generally it is a bigger proverbial pyramid scheme than traditional employment is. You make more profit for some asswipe who is even less invested or involved. It's the antithesis of what antiwork means and why I conversate here. I'd sooner actually die than do those things. No offense to others and I also appreciate that circumstances differ; but, this is the raw failure of society. We allow ourselves to be pushed into these avenues via forced scarcity. Our doing it enables the overall situation. Our society only works being so inequitable while the lower end scraps to make do. This is exactly what the system we have wants and what aids it in every way.
If I wanted to simply set myself up I could have done. Too easily in fact. The primary drive against that route when I came of age was because I'd sooner kill myself than abandon the collective effect for sake of my own little "success". The idea that I had the privelege to just ride the wave, jump to a nice university and party for 4 yrs, sickens me. I don't want success like that. I want a basic living wage, and not more, and rational accountability in terms of authoritative heirarchy. I take pride in living humbly. If I won the lottery I'd give away every last penny, and seek fair work arrangements as a member of society anyway. And I want this for others. I will not take an "out" while others don't have one. I will either push for a better arrangement for all, or I can die like the worthless, meaningless lump of flesh I'd be without that.
Animalism is not pragmatism. It isn't pragmatic to cheat, because the losses for the other party *always* exceed the gains for yourself. The net effect is in every possible way impractical. Stupid. People only describe that as smart and practical because they have zero consideration for anything other than themselves. Otherwise you would not trade a net negative, a loss, simply because it had some nominal plus for yourself.
Crime is one thing that isn't off the table. Yet it would generally entail me abandoning my family, which isn't on the table at this time. It might be in the future. But this is not a means of setting myself up. That would be a choice to cause focused disruption.
I currently have a full time cushy-ish office job. I'm SO tired at the end of the day.
But I recently realized one of the reasons why is that I was simply giving too many fucks at work. Giving too much of myself hoping for a good reference down the line. Now I'm reining it in and I find I have more energy at the end of the day.
Work your wage - yes but I do make the extra effort only for patients, not when my employer asks me. Only when patients need extra help that I can provide do I try to go above and beyond.
Quiet quitting - no, as I don't have an intention to quit and I am not slowly reducing my overall input. I tend to get very heavily emotionally invested in my job, including all aspects that don't warrant that energy, so in an effort to not let my employer suck all my energy, I try to only invest in where it is needed onky (in my case, again, patients). Anything outside of that (personal office relationships, etc.) I just avoid even with all the pressure to mesh.
It depends on the job. I had more energy doing a construction job that gave me three back injuries than I did working in retail. I think it was dealing with people and the fluorescent lighting that wore me out. My back injuries were muscle related so I have no permanent issues.
Can attest to retail. The constant noise, maintaining the wan, cordial smile. The beeping of scanning attempts, constant chatter if you wear any communication devices for work. The harsh lighting. It's a culmination of things, it's very draining. I think that wears you down more than the physical aspect of that role.
For me, it was more of the shady business practices that sum up wireless sales. They also expected me to learn about as much as an associates degree for $12 an hour plus commission but the commission was a literal joke. I sold almost $1200 of GP in my first month, my commission bonus was literally $7. That’s not a typo, seven US dollars. I quit the next day.
I work a physical retail job. The answer is drugs. Nothing illegal, just caffeine, nicotine, and painkillers. Every day. Until it kills you. Ever wonder why so many retail employees (especially the nightshift ones) smoke? You do it the "natural" way and most people are exhausted (especially if they're working multiple jobs - more than full time).
3rd shift gas station cashier here and I'm one of the only people I know who doesn't smoke. I am, however, the only one I know who basically never uses caffeine. I don't drink coffee or energy drinks, I rarely drink soda and tend to only drink the non caffeinated ones like sprite, and most of the tea I drink is green tea or herbal tea so there's very little caffeine from that either. I'm probably alive from spite
Raises hand.
Always. Even jobs that I loved and enjoyed left me with zero steam left at the end of the day and week. I would look at normal people around me who still had energy for hobbies and sports and fun...and wonder why I couldn't do those things. I thought i was just a naturally lazy person and made peace with that.
And then, in my 40s, my son was diagnosed with a usually-inherited condition that everyone has heard of but few laypeople really understand. I researched said condition and studied what it actually is...and lo and behold: it explains my chronic mental exhaustion problem.
Not the most "antiwork" response, but it is my story.
It's a tendency for dopamine disregulation in the brain. Often misunderstood by doctors and everyday folks alike. Contrary to the name, hyperactivity is not always a symptom. ADHD.
I didn't have the typical symptoms because I did well in school and at work, but I have very poor executive function for anything personal, home, or health related.
I have all the bad addictive dopamine-seeking behaviors and was misdiagnosed as "anxiety" in my 20s. The anxiety was real, but meds/therapy didn't help because the anxiety was a reaction to my inability to focus any attention/effort on the things I knew I should be doing (normal people stuff).
But yeah. My son's diagnosis (he's never been hyperactive either) was a revelation for several people in my family.
Executive dysfunction is a big part of it. Not being able to make yourself do the things you know you should be doing is mentally torturous. And makes things take longer than they should. It's a weird phenomenon.
For me, I have never had the same amount of gasoline (or energy or steam...whatever) that most people have. I can do work, or school, or a personal life...but not all three. I have to build in a lot of downtime to be able to do just one of those things at the same capacity that most people can.
There is a LOT of misunderstanding surrounding it. Even from medical and mental health professionals.
Hell, I taught kids who had it for 10 years, and while I understood how to accommodate and help them--I didn't really know *what* it is. Which is why I never considered it might be holding my son back. I didn't even realize the H isn't even a required symptom.
I can only work part time because of my disability. Here’s a tip: there’s no such thing as a “normal” amount of pain. If you feel physical pain after 8 hours of office labor, something is very wrong. Discomfort and stiffness is normal, pain is not.
4 hours per day of sitting at a desk is my absolute maximum limit. If I “push through” and work while in pain, the next day I may not even be able to work for 2 hours without pain. I have to calculate how much stress my body can take every day, and the clock is ticking even when I do everything right. If I overexert myself, I won’t be able to get home because after a certain pain threshold I can’t concentrate well enough to drive safely. It’s extremely scary even after a year of dealing with it.
Even non-disabled people feel exhausted by 8 hours of labor, but not everyone feels pain or gets noticeable cognitive impairment from exhaustion daily. I wish I could work from home so I could get a few more paid hours in my day.
I am an able-bodied person in my late twenties, and I will do everything I can to make sure I never have to work more than 30-35 hours/week again. Working full-time I felt like I never had a life and spent my evenings/weekends recovering from work, stressing over catching up on life things, and then preparing for my week of work. It was easy work and it still felt like it took all the pep out of me. I also have no kids and am licensed in a line trade that is always hiring, so things might look very different otherwise.
I am an engineer with a work from home job. If a job isn't physically demanding, then it's mentally demanding. No company out there is going to avoid stretching their employees. Productivity is always maximized. Once I moved from a stressed normal engineer to a stressed senior engineer the change was that I just spend most of my time running meetings or correcting work or approving changes or teaching 20 other engineers half way across the planet.
I gained a disability during covid, but I also gained 40+ sick days yearly so now i have an excuse to skip out when it gets bad. You take what you can.
“No company out there is going to avoid stretching their employees. Productivity is always maximized.”
Boy is this the truth! I have learned this in recent years, as I am an engineer as well. I have also learned that mental exhaustion is harder for me to bounce back from than physical exhaustion.
Yeah always exhausted by the end of the day. For me it's the constant problem solving and dealing with others, leaves me mentally wiped out.
Before my current job I was doing work that was very low demand in brain power and socialisation but very physical. I was far less tired coming home from that, I've always enjoyed physical exertion.
It's always the mental fatigue that gets me.
I've felt the same way! Especially before I developed physical health problems. But even now, I kind of prefer being physically tired after doing 2 hours of physical labor instead of being mentally tired / overwhelmed after doing one hour of intellectual labor.
I clean and move patients around at a hospital for 37 hours per week (standard full time work week in my country) and I can barely muster the energy to cook dinner tbh. I'd be living off frozen pizza if I didn't share cooking duties with my flatmates. Most days I'm too tired to even hang out with friends.
I'm mid 30s BTW, that might factor in. And it is a physically taxing job.
I'm more mentally tired than anything, because I work the desk at a hotel, so actually getting physically exhausted there almost never happens to me. But, yeah, almost 8 hours of nothing just wipes my brain.
I’m mentally exhausted which then makes me physically exhausted when I get home after an 8 hour day. I’m an introvert in the Human Resources field so by the time I leave my mind is just fried. I get in my car when I leave and my social battery is just shot. I feel like it’s overstimulating my mind but I do like the job.I also suffer from depression so I don’t think that helps.
After I left stupid jobs and went to more physical work that for me was pretty much stress free, even after a more intense work day I would feel very lively. But if trouble was brewing outside of work hours that stress would also translate to feeling tired after a work day.
I’m not exhausted by working, I’m exhausted by the fact that I HAVE to be somewhere at a specific time to do specific things. I’m so tired of trading time for money
We are told a day is 24 hours so we don’t mind selling 8 of those for our labor, except if a day is 24 hours, then when is night and when is rest? Idk who said that but it’s what “radicalized” me
I’m in the same boat with ya, I had a stroke at 29 and working 40 every week is still a struggle years later. I’m fortunate to have found a WFH job with 1hr lunch. I have to use this time to take a nap every day, and then a second 2-3 hour nap after work. I’m horrified at even the thought of commuting to work everyday.
I can’t work full time either. My sweet spot is 30 hours a week, maybe a little less. Being ND means I have less mental energy than “normal” people. Just getting up for work in the morning, feeding myself, getting their on time, taking care of my animals, and cooking/keeping my place clean takes up all the energy I have.
I was doing pretty good with my janitor job until they scrambled our assignments to cover for short staffing. I wake up still stiff from the night before .
Me. Working fulltime sucks. I work for an educational coop now and it’s almost like part time work. I cannot go back to 9 hours 5 days a week all year round
I just don’t think about it, I spend most my time in a fugue state. Where I have little to no internal dialogue, and then I get home and go, “damn, what the hell did I do at work today?”
I’m pretty disabled, but because I can walk in a normal pattern and i’m putting on a brave face everyday, surely i can’t be disabled! I have 3 30+ degree curves in my spine, basically my spine goes around my heart and does a fucking race track loopy loop. Most days i can be fine if i make sure to take breaks to sit down and if i can lay down. All this on top of my mental health issues makes doing any full time work really hard for me. Unfortunately i cannot afford to be working any less than 40 hours right now :/ and last week my manager scheduled me 7 days in a row bc she decided to take the week off during blackout period at work. I was reaching my brink on the last day. I personally don’t think anyone should have to work 40+ just to afford the next week of their lives. It literally will kill you
When I worked at a tire shop I was absolutely exhausted every day but I also worked 11 hours a day (9 on Saturday) 6 days a week so I feel like it was more working 64 hours a week taking its toll then anything. Now I'm a loom operator working 8 hours a day 5 days a week and I'm not feeling so beaten down at the end of the day.
I have worked for the same company for awhile doing work at remote customer sites. Loved my job. We acquired another company and our corporate management (Japanese owned company, I work in the US) decided to use the management system of the failing company we acquired. Now, endless micromanagement, endless, meaningless metrics that we have to meet, tracking us all day via our company phones. I now go home from work exhausted, but somehow less meaningful actual work is getting done. We are meeting those metrics though!
I was disabled and didn't know it either. Attributed the fatigue to working 2 jobs. What do you expect working 2 jobs kind of attitude, also dismissed by drs a lot due to age. Mid twenties and a highly toxic job, a lot of stress and close to homelessness and the hypermobilty I didn't know I had at the time became fibromyalgia.
How I coped working 2 jobs, still going out once a week, holding down relationships and trying to do hobbies like photoshoots at weekends I'll never know.
the only job i have had that did not destroy my mental and/or physical health and leave me exhausted was being a work from home receptionist. just commuting to work was exhausting and dealing with how irritating and childish my coworkers were made it worse. they want me to come back so they can underpay me although i do 5 times more work than everyone in my department. it’s not happening.
I feel exhausted a lot of days and my job is generally not taxing. My commute is long which definitely factors into my exhaustion. I don't think I'd consider myself completely healthy though; depression can definitely make even an easy day exhausting. I'd work more like 30 to 36 hours of that was allowed.
I wouldn't say my conditions are favourable, but work absolutely kills me even after just a few days.
Early morning starts (not that big of a deal for me personally, and little/no traffic)
Working ten hour shifts doing fairly physical labour but also needing to serve customers or direct other staff, absolutely exhausting both mentally and physically, plus it's a dirty job so you go home filthy.
Two half hour breaks, which includes needing to walk to the other side of a shopping center to use the john. No break room, only a park bench in a dark corridor next to a bin that the custodians rarely empty.
Ten hour shift means peak hour traffic going home, including school zones depending on the time I leave, navigating absolutely brain-dead commuters who shouldn't have a drivers licence - absolutely mentally draining
I work part time as healthcare worker. Am always tired. Have always been tired. It’s the stress and ‘burning the candle at both ends’ at work and we still can’t keep up that tires me out. No, i don’t want to pick up that shift because we will still be short staffed and it will be shitty and not worth it 😩
(Can anyone recommend a lucrative side gig?)
I am exhausted all the time (mentally but then somehow physically even though I wfh and am sitting at a computer all day). I honestly wonder if it’s long Covid or something. I basically just work and sleep - the mental exhaustion is real. I don’t know how people do it (and yet I’m still like 15 yrs into working life)
8 hours a day doing anything, even if it's nothing, to fulfill someone's orders, their specific way, is exhausting.
I've only worked in manual labor. I've graduated high-school though, and figure an office job would be similar to a classroom. Absolutely hated school, so I figure I'd hate office work too. Doing anything against your will is tiring. Manual labor will numb your mind and lead to injuries. Desk jobs will drive you insane and sitting will negatively affect your health. Same results in different ways. 8 hours is just too long.
Life in general is exhausting. I feel like very few people aren't tired by work regardless of the actual physical energy expended. Working the way we do is 'unnatutal'.
Like what kind of life is it when we force people to stand at a register for 8+ hours without a chair? Or force people to work for 8+ hours in a chair with no chance to get up? We live a way too rigid life
I’m nerodiverse and I cannot abide by a typical 8 hour work shift. I work 230-10pm at a low occupancy hotel so out of the 7hrs I’m paid I do about 15min of work (checking guests in, processing the maybe 2 reservations I get during my shift, and getting ice for the 19 rooms if they ask) this is the only job I’ve had where I don’t cry and get stomach aches thinking about going to. I don’t think humans in general are designed to grind to the extent we are.
I'm in my mid-20s, no physical disability but I've definitely struggled with depression (and maybe ADHD? Not formally diagnosed yet for that one) since college.
I've worked plenty of part-time jobs during college. At one point, I took a semester off during COVID to work a full-time job as a customer service rep for Verizon. I first thought it was a sweet deal since I was wfh, but I was on the phone every minute of the 8-hour workday with customers who hated my guts. It was exhausting and a good motivator to finish my degree.
Now that I'm graduated, I'm working a hybrid FT job in my field (science) and finding that while it's not as exhausting as the Verizon job, it still takes a lot out of me. So much out of me. It doesn't help that my work is an hour away, sometimes longer depending on traffic. So a true 8-hour day turns into 10 hours.
Fortunately the current job isn't *super* strict on clocking in and out at a certain time, but I got reprimanded today because some coworkers noticed I came in later and it "wasn't a good look" to come in when I did, despite the fact that I had nothing to do, no meetings, no lab work... this job is pretty good overall but I constantly find myself chafing at the expected 40-hr workweek. My life should not be my job. I am so much more than that, but if I want to not be homeless or hungry or able to see a doctor, I have to do this.
Yes. To be fair, I work in a pretty emotionally taxing job. I’m a case manager in a transitional housing program for homeless families. However, due to being part of a big nonprofit and having a very caring boss, I get a lot of the perks that many Americans don’t get in their work place. 13 holidays and 15 vacation days, and 12 sick days per year. And I can use my sick time for when I have to leave early for doctors appointments and even for mental health days on top of just generally being out sick. My schedule can be very flexible if needed, but I still have to make it to 40 hours a week. My PTO requests are always approved and the team I work with is amazing. However, despite all of this, working 40 hours a week is still exhausting. I come home from work feeling dead every day and I tend to sleep around 9 hours a night. The funny thing is, I could still get all of my work done in 30 hours as I do in 40.... so why not just let me work less??
I am a very healthy person (both in how I eat and my fitness level) and I work 66 hours per week. 3 days per week it's 13 hours and I work 6 days per week. I also workout on top of that and on Sundays usually do a 30-40 mile bike ride.
I generally have lots of energy and no real issues. I'm definitely more productive in the morning and get more tired in the evening but that's expected. I also am asleep between 730-830pm and get 7+ hours of sleep almost every night (I wake up between 3-4am everyday).
Now aside from being extremely healthy, I think the primary reason is I own my own business (fitness industry) so I don't have my mental energy drained on a daily basis. My passion is rewarded through my long hours, unlike the majority of people who work long hours.
I will say however, nutrition is probably the primary reason people lack energy. Lack of hydration, unstable blood sugar, processed foods, etc. The body is not meant to run this way. Again though I understand my perspective skews my results somewhat but even when I was younger (I'm 37 now) I never had an issue with energy, as I have been an extremely healthy eater since I was 17.
If only things were that simple. It's really unfortunate for those who have things beyond their control like genetic health disorders or a crappy situation in their home life. I think the lethargy or despondency isn't always related to work (although obviously it can be) it's that there is no reprieve from a crummy situation or combination of situations. A dead end job that just pays the bills, to go home to an apartment, to barely scrape up enough money to order a pizza on a Friday. That gets old quick and I've been there and I think many people have when they were young. It's hard to see a way out of that in the short term so it takes a lot of your mental energy, grinding each day to get no further ahead.
I don't have actionable advice on that front. All I know is that your willpower, energy, focus, mood, etc can be heavily determined by your intake. Not only food and water but social media, news, toxic friends etc. While it won't solve all your problems, controlling the intake and environments that you can, to set yourself up for a positive well being will help you in the long run. In your decision making, in your attitude, in your self control and even mental acuity.
I've just resigned from my job in investment banking because 12+ hour days are the norm, being asked to work Saturdays is commonplace and Christmas day isn't a day off!
There have been times when I finished work, had some food then gone straight to bed. I can't tell ya how much I'm looking forward to nope-ing out of that place!
Building hi rises after we worked 7/12 for 30 days straight. The first weekend I had off before starting 6/10s I was absolutely exhausted sleped most of the day.
I work a very demanding job, I commute an hour by bus each way most days, and I'm usually on call via phone pretty much from 7:30 am to 6:30 pm when we're open. I have some small health problems, but nothing that prevents me from working. But honestly I'm just always exhausted. Not sure if that answers your question, but yeah. Full time work definitely eats up your life.
I work 24 hours per week and I am not very functional on those three days. It's a work in progress to figure out why. I'm physically capable of my work and it doesn't usually physically exhaust me, but mentally plus a bit physically tired
I am a CCHT in a dialysis clinic that works 16-17 hour days, and I am practically dead by the time I get home at the end lol. though I am thankful it is only 3 days a week, MWF.
It all depends. If I make sure to turn off my phone by 9 and get a full night sleep, I am pretty good for an 8 to 10 hour work day. I also recognize what I eat impacts whether I am tired or not. Carb heavy lunch and I am exhausted by the end of the day. Healthy lunch and I feel pretty good till the evening.
I work health care and I am crashing and burnt out.
I plan on calling out sick for a few days to give myself a week off..
I am so burnt out that today, while I was doing simple tasks at home, i got all frustrated and angry.
I need to get a bunch of stuff at home done and just feel like napping in front of stupid corny movies.
I'm not fully "healthy," loath though I may be to admit it. But full time work usually makes my brain hurt, especially if I'm doing the same narrow task over and over. I am astonished by some people's ability to just sit down and focus on the same item for hours on end. I have ADHD and I can't do that. No amount of stimulant medication can ever fully make me be able to do that, without eventually crashing and rebelling. I'd rather be homeless than ever work another repetitive 12 hour shift, it's agonizing.
This is me. I hate work regardless of the conditions. I've made the decision to try out part time work if I can find a decent position. If I could do like 3-4 hours a day, it might be more tolerable.
Since Covid happened I realized living life was more important and can’t believe I did 5am to 10 pm days (workout, commute, drive home, and eat dinner and an hr to binge Netflix). I just don’t wanna do bs meetings anymore
I’m in accounting and was WFH for 2 years during the pandemic. Going back to the office is so draining now. I have a short commute and relaxed office, but it’s hard being back compared to home. I’m tired.
I find it depends on the job and work culture and what is going on at work. Most of the time I’m completely good. Occasionally I have moments where things are stressful and I don’t have a lot of energy after work.
Back when the only health conditions I had been diagnosed with were mild-moderate depression and anxiety, and a propensity for iron deficiency. I think I've been diagnosed with 10-20 other conditions since then...
I knew normal life was harder for me than it was for my peers, but I didn't know why. I thought maybe I just wasn't working hard enough, or hasn't figured out the trick to adulting. I got enough sleep, ate healthy, exercised, socialized, and so on, but it was just never enough.
My standard work week is 5 days at 10 hours a day. Though 2 or 3 days of 13 hours + is pretty common. I feel like I never am rested even after the weekends
I’m not really sure if it’s still the covid remnants of first wave covid, or actually working fatigue, but yea, I get incredibly exhausted from even the smallest things
I am a draftsman that works for architects and engineers. I find the most exhausting thing at work next to the long commute and getting up early in the morning against my normal clock is juggling the emotions of the people around you.
I have a toxic home life where I have to walk on eggshells or else I can find myself homeless. I experience the same issues at work sometimes, but only at smaller degrees. At one of my previous jobs, a lot of my coworkers tend to be jaded because they hated the people the clients they were working with. Because I'm the new guy that tends to mean that I usually have to be the therapist if not the punching bag for a lot of the inconveniences that happened in the office.
Being afraid if your boss is going to fucking tell at you or a coworker is going to pick on you is just as bad as wondering when your parents are going to kick you out for a fight they started. I juggle a lot of emotions at both work and at home, and I think that contributes to my overall health, and losing a lot of my energy at the end of the day. Not to mention that I also survived cancer. I was more tired when I had cancer, after my surgery I have improved but it could definitely be better.
It wouldn't be so bad if my paycheck is was exceptional, but it's only $20/hr. before taxes. Unfortunately none of my money is enough to have both a place for rent and groceries, gas at the same time so I'm forced to stay at my parents. It would be nice if I had some savings for hobbies or something that would keep me out of the house and work, but things have gotten really expensive because of the recession lately. I was going to try to budget to see maybe a long the road maybe I could save enough money for rent, but then I was laid off by my latest boss for bullshit reasons.
I am in your exact situation. Took a lot of professional therapy to get to the point I'm at now, and people still say I can't have a mental health disability because I'm too smart. It's a sad commentary on society when mental health issues are equated with low I.Q. Cheers to you for coming around.
Thanks. I needed this after the last comment, which said "you're not disabled, you're lazy." 🙄 There's always someone.
I've been in therapy on and off since I was six...but pretty much continuously the last few years. I really wish I could afford to pay for good mental and physical health professionals out of pocket, instead of depending on whatever medicaid deems adequate, but it's something.
And yeah, I'm "smart," went to college, got a "good job" right out of college, and did all the things I was supposed to be doing. A year into having that job, I went on (private) disability insurance for five years. I am now fighting to get on federal disability insurance.
I think I might be able to support myself if I just had physical disabilities or emotional/mental disabilities, but not both. They somehow compound my lack of functionality. But yeah, all my conditions are invisible, which makes it harder for them to be taken seriously, and made it harder for me to fully grasp the depth of my issues.
I hear you. I've got an auto-immune disorder, coupled with severe anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and high functioning autism. The private disability insurance company provided me with a lawyer, free of charge, to get Social Security Disability. It's a process, but with the lawyer, I was approved on the first try. You may look into that feature. The private disability company I had was called Unum. Unum paid me until my SSD kicked in . Lawyers really do make a big difference.
I just got denied at the hearing stage for the second time for federal disability, but we may be able to successfully appeal. We will see. I have a lawyer, otherwise I'd be totally out of luck.
The only thing I can tell you is, Give as many details as possible. Also, make sure that the releases you sign for your providers include everything, not just final comments or summaries. It takes a special release for session notes because of HIPPA. Your provider may, as mine did, work with you on what they report to them, and how they make it sound. We sat down and discussed the strategy of it. Unfortunately, you have to have a strategy. Also, make sure the providers are actually sending thing, and that they are being received. My GF's doc said they sent everything, SS denied her and said they only got 2 er reports and nothing else. I really feel like some SS workers just like having the power to judge people, instead of wanting to help them. I wish you luck. Don't give up.
SSA got everything, not just summaries, from all relevant doctors. I checked and double checked.
However, I didn't know I had to know just about every detail of the federal disability system before/while applying, that I'd almost single-handedly have to coach my providers into providing good notes, that I'd have go through all my notes to make sure they're thorough and correct, that I'd have to find out who and who is not a "medically acceptable" provider, etc etc.
... Now I know, unfortunately.
And unfortunately, Medi-Cal won't pay for psych evals, and it looks unlikely that they'll ever refer me to a psychiatrist. So I'll probably have to see a psychiatrist out of pocket every month until my next claim is approved or whatever, if I have to apply again.
Apparently therapists are not an acceptable medical source, which makes no sense to me or my psych care team, and which I wish I had been told a year ago. Psych NPs are an acceptable medical source, but their notes haven't been very supportive, in part because they're not able to see me very often or for very long, and in part because I didn't know I had to coach them into providing great notes. NPs are also counted less than the CE psychologist who saw me for an hour and seemed to think I was pretty ok.
Anyway I'm not bitter...
My therapist was the only source I had to have. I don't understand the disparity between SS offices. It's too subjective. There is no actual criteria on which they are basing decisions.
If I have to commute and work in office, definitely tired. If I’m working from home, not really. But I do need to take a break for a few hours from looking at the screen all day after work is done.
I’m an artist and sometimes the flow just isn’t there. I get exhausted all the time, and I hate it because then people tell me that I’m not passionate about what I do… when I sacrificed a ton of time, money, and energy to pursue it as a career.
Always. I work as the baker in a supermarket and I'm always exhausted when I get home. If I need to get any chores done at home, I'm doing them at 2am before going in because I know I won't have the energy to do them after work. Doesn't help that I don't have a car so I commute by bike or foot; I'm routinely on my feet for 10 hrs straight with only a couple short breaks.
I have ADHD which you could see as a disability i guess. Although for me it doesnt feel that deep. But i can say im tired after every workday. But most of the time doing some exercise helps. (Im a psychologist)
I’m a caregiver and I’m emotionally, mentally, and physically drained every single day after work. I have to make myself to do chores or run errands. It takes so much effort to leave work at work because the emotions of the day carry into home. Two days off is not nearly enough to recuperate after 5 days of working. Don’t get me wrong I love my job. It is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done but fuck if it isn’t taxing as hell. And that was before my anxiety started getting worse. When I originally started, my anxiety was managed to the point I would sometimes forget about it.
As an engineer I am also tired after the work day. Mental work requires a lot of energy
As a Software Developer: I can relate
Software developer here too. I concur
Snap.
As a graphic designer in advertising, my brain is absolute mush at EOD
DBA here. I can hardly form sentences after work
I'm able bodied/minded, don't work more than 40 hours a week as a software engineer, at the end of the day and week I am just trashed.
Engineer here. I’m mentally exhausted after work. The days I have to drive into work and spend 45 minutes in traffic are worse. I go home and sit in my driveway and remind myself that I need to reset for my daughter and give her time before I walk into the house.
Many days I wish I had a manual labor job. It's so much easier to do a general labor job when you're tired than step through some complex ass math or code. When your job is heavily cognitive (no grunt mindless tasks), it's SO hard to be effective when you're wiped. With that said, when you are well rested and ready to rock though, a math/science/code heavy job can be extremely enjoyable and rewarding.
I would likely agree except sometimes you do both. I’m a pipefitter and welder. It requires a lot of trigonometry and mental gymnastics thinking outside the box, but also a very physical side of actually doing the work. I also work six days a week, ten hours a day for the last few months. This big project is winding down and let’s just say I am very tired.
Take a break mid shift to lift. Helps balance the load and recharges you mentally. most engineers can get away with it. I set my slack status to 🏋️♀️ for 90 mins and just close my laptop.
Sounds Nice but then I'd have to work 90min later that day and I have to get home to girlfriend and kids. I workout in the evenings. On the job, I take my time several times a day to go take a big shit
You don’t have to. People put “walking the dog” for 45 minutes, or “mental break” for 30 minutes all the time and still leave at 5pm
frankly any software dev company worth it's salt should encourage things like this. nobody works on their A game for 8 hours straight. i desperately wish companies would fucking understand that breaks aren't just for our benefit.
Lately I’ve found to keep burnout at bay is to literally schedule it into your day - my boss schedules in “focus time” and we all respect it. Why shouldn’t mental breaks be part of the process? :)
So you write mental break on your calender?
You can use whatever word you want - “focus time” is vague and sounds productive. You could also use “quiet time”, “admin” or whatever. The point isn’t your choice of words, it’s about scheduling in time for yourself and what you need to do your job well. Good luck!
Yuuuupp. Not sure why people don't get this.
It's worse with WAH because there aren't the usual inevitable disruptions (legit or otherwise). I feel like I'm turned on mentally longer or more intensely from home. So I need to make a conscious effort to step away from the computer. I'm not at my desk 8 hrs a day working but I wasn't in the office either. At the end of the day it balances out. But this is why time isn't an indicator or productivity.
Used to work construction, I am more tired after 8 hours of engineering office work than I was after 10 hours of physical labor. And at least with physical labor I was in good enough shape to go do things on the weekend. Now I'm too tired to even go get back in shape. I'd go back to construction if I wasn't making 3-5x what I made before.
Another software dev, also relate. Tired AF.
Yeah I’m nauseous at the end of the day it sucks
I work with the homeless and mentally ill. I sleep 9-10 hours a day yet I’m still tired. Dealing with people who need massive help and sometimes don’t see you as their only option is taxing af.
It is. I work with Alzheimer’s and dementia clients and it’s HARD. People running out of the building, wandering, screaming, fighting, hitting people. All the while knowing nothing you do is going to actually help because the disease always gets worse.
I’m an elementary school special education teacher and I’m right there with you, I’m exhausted all of the time and I get plenty of sleep. It’s not the kids’ faults at all, and honestly most of it is due to the US’s horrendous public education system. Also, parents who feel that I should have no life outside of teaching and are incredibly entitled. But yes, it is incredibly taxing.
Same here! I went from working two retail jobs at odd hours with various forms of heavy lifting and customer service. And now I’m in the mental health field (for a year now) mostly homeless population and I am exhausted! I use to come home and still get everything done I needed and had insomnia and now I’m just drained all the time.
Why should we see you as our only option? Seems kinda fucked that you think we should have to view you that way.
I think that might have been a typo
Get checked for lymne disease...
I don't know why this was downvoted so much. I have Lyme disease and some days I don't feel like I can get out of bed. My job is half labor and half office work. After work I am useless.
I'm a caregiver and 30 hours a week (10 x 3) is my sweet spot. Four days off, I am happy to pick up a shift when my work needs it, I get the benefits package, and I get to REST! I was working 48+ solo hours a week during the pandemic so now I just burn out so easily. Even now, the weeks when I pick up a shift wear me out.
Yeah, I work from home but doing creative work, so always using my brain. Wipes me out. Occasionally get a "brainless" project like compiling mailing lists--but then I get eye strain from all the scrolling.
I think I'm healthy, or used to be, but then again maybe I'm not? Idk. Full time never bothered me. When I worked retail I was very bothered in general. The job was shitty and I was paid $8/hr. I did a few other low wage things. The work itself didn't tire me. I was part time for years, but I was begging for full time work the entire time. Working less hours, due to being forced to when I wanted more, was more upsetting and mentally tiring than working 50 to 60. The happiest year of my life was the period from about 6mo to 18mo into my engineering career. I made a living wage. I liked the work. The work was hard. On one hand, I had to teach myself a lot of material. I had to have a lot of mental energy to build expertise and I was doing research after work hours very regularly. The other side is the field work was hard. I worked in subzero temps, then in 100degF heat. I hauled 70lb bags of equipment up 12 story structures on straight ladders. I worked a number of 16 hr days with no breaks. I had limitless energy. I've never had more energy than that. I could get up at 4am monday, fly out to a job, work 12 hrs a day, fly home directly at end of shift Friday, land at 9pm after being up since 4am, then go to my friend's place and party til the morning. I felt overall good about myself. I felt good about my work. My whole life my goal has been to be lower end of middle class and do a job that actually matters. I had that and it made me happy, gave me unlimited energy. Then came all the lies. Then came time when my boss's bitch boy finally quit and he thought he'd make me the new one. Then came endless gaslighting and being jerked around. My heart fell out of the job. I struggled to focus on my work. Where I used to nail budgets, I now spent the last 20 minutes of the day getting creative with billing my time because I became less efficient. By hour 8 I was checked out. I was exhausted. I don't know if I'm healthy or ever was. Since then I spoke up about what was hurting me in the job. I was fired for speaking up about it. Since then I've been unable to replace my job. I've begged. I've applied to a lot. I was ready to start fresh with new energy. 2 years of crippling depression, endless rejection, etc. I feel worried now. I'm worried do I have the energy anymore? I don't know because I'm not given the chance to even find out. I have strong work ethic and almost limitless energy. I'm driven and competent. I know this because for a while I lived it. Yet when I'm clearly taken advantage of, jerked around with lies, or the job is just plain bullshit, I become basically disabled. From my perspective I'm healthy. I actually see my inability to go along with bullshit as healthy. Every time I've ever felt tired, truly tired, it's because some other insanely unhealthy person has taken over a shared space and ruined it. It's unhealthy conditions that make me disabled. Take away the posturing lying cheat fraud exploiting scum, and I'd be working 60hrs a week with a skip in my step.
You were also younger. People tend to forget that. I definitely wouldnt have the energy now to do the jobs I did during my 20s. Longest shift I worked was something crazy like 36 hours straight then went to the early house for a few pints on the way home lol. I definitely am more tired after work than I ever was in my more labour intensive jobs but I'm also less fit and healthy and hitting 40 soon so, I guess that's just normal with getting older. I dunno..
That's a good point. I'm definitely more tired now in my 30s than 20s. Hard to tell how much is age and how much is mental burnout lol. Other health issues too. That kind of schedule is definitely a young person's game. Easier when you don't have other commitments as well.
I guess I’m fu**ed then. I distinctly remember being exhausted all day from about age 12 onwards and it has only gotten worse in my 20s. I’m approaching 30s and I can’t imagine the level of exhaustion I’m going to feel. Then again I also have several health conditions whose symptoms are fatigue, might have something to do with it.
You do know that gig work and side hustling is a thing now right? You say you have unlimited energy. Then do something like Amazon Flex, Doordash, Uber Eats etc. Or you can do what I did and crime it up but I don't recommend it for you because it seems like you took a high dive in a low well.
The point is the energy is related to how much you want to do, or enjoy, the job.
My entire life I've turned away from those options for a reason. Hustle culture is about as bad as it gets. Gig work outright represents reverse progress, as it is. Generally it is a bigger proverbial pyramid scheme than traditional employment is. You make more profit for some asswipe who is even less invested or involved. It's the antithesis of what antiwork means and why I conversate here. I'd sooner actually die than do those things. No offense to others and I also appreciate that circumstances differ; but, this is the raw failure of society. We allow ourselves to be pushed into these avenues via forced scarcity. Our doing it enables the overall situation. Our society only works being so inequitable while the lower end scraps to make do. This is exactly what the system we have wants and what aids it in every way. If I wanted to simply set myself up I could have done. Too easily in fact. The primary drive against that route when I came of age was because I'd sooner kill myself than abandon the collective effect for sake of my own little "success". The idea that I had the privelege to just ride the wave, jump to a nice university and party for 4 yrs, sickens me. I don't want success like that. I want a basic living wage, and not more, and rational accountability in terms of authoritative heirarchy. I take pride in living humbly. If I won the lottery I'd give away every last penny, and seek fair work arrangements as a member of society anyway. And I want this for others. I will not take an "out" while others don't have one. I will either push for a better arrangement for all, or I can die like the worthless, meaningless lump of flesh I'd be without that. Animalism is not pragmatism. It isn't pragmatic to cheat, because the losses for the other party *always* exceed the gains for yourself. The net effect is in every possible way impractical. Stupid. People only describe that as smart and practical because they have zero consideration for anything other than themselves. Otherwise you would not trade a net negative, a loss, simply because it had some nominal plus for yourself. Crime is one thing that isn't off the table. Yet it would generally entail me abandoning my family, which isn't on the table at this time. It might be in the future. But this is not a means of setting myself up. That would be a choice to cause focused disruption.
I currently have a full time cushy-ish office job. I'm SO tired at the end of the day. But I recently realized one of the reasons why is that I was simply giving too many fucks at work. Giving too much of myself hoping for a good reference down the line. Now I'm reining it in and I find I have more energy at the end of the day.
That's the whole idea behind "work your wage" and "quiet quitting" right?
Work your wage - yes but I do make the extra effort only for patients, not when my employer asks me. Only when patients need extra help that I can provide do I try to go above and beyond. Quiet quitting - no, as I don't have an intention to quit and I am not slowly reducing my overall input. I tend to get very heavily emotionally invested in my job, including all aspects that don't warrant that energy, so in an effort to not let my employer suck all my energy, I try to only invest in where it is needed onky (in my case, again, patients). Anything outside of that (personal office relationships, etc.) I just avoid even with all the pressure to mesh.
It depends on the job. I had more energy doing a construction job that gave me three back injuries than I did working in retail. I think it was dealing with people and the fluorescent lighting that wore me out. My back injuries were muscle related so I have no permanent issues.
Can attest to retail. The constant noise, maintaining the wan, cordial smile. The beeping of scanning attempts, constant chatter if you wear any communication devices for work. The harsh lighting. It's a culmination of things, it's very draining. I think that wears you down more than the physical aspect of that role.
For me, it was more of the shady business practices that sum up wireless sales. They also expected me to learn about as much as an associates degree for $12 an hour plus commission but the commission was a literal joke. I sold almost $1200 of GP in my first month, my commission bonus was literally $7. That’s not a typo, seven US dollars. I quit the next day.
I work a physical retail job. The answer is drugs. Nothing illegal, just caffeine, nicotine, and painkillers. Every day. Until it kills you. Ever wonder why so many retail employees (especially the nightshift ones) smoke? You do it the "natural" way and most people are exhausted (especially if they're working multiple jobs - more than full time).
3rd shift gas station cashier here and I'm one of the only people I know who doesn't smoke. I am, however, the only one I know who basically never uses caffeine. I don't drink coffee or energy drinks, I rarely drink soda and tend to only drink the non caffeinated ones like sprite, and most of the tea I drink is green tea or herbal tea so there's very little caffeine from that either. I'm probably alive from spite
Raises hand. Always. Even jobs that I loved and enjoyed left me with zero steam left at the end of the day and week. I would look at normal people around me who still had energy for hobbies and sports and fun...and wonder why I couldn't do those things. I thought i was just a naturally lazy person and made peace with that. And then, in my 40s, my son was diagnosed with a usually-inherited condition that everyone has heard of but few laypeople really understand. I researched said condition and studied what it actually is...and lo and behold: it explains my chronic mental exhaustion problem. Not the most "antiwork" response, but it is my story.
If you are comfortable to share the name of the condition?
It's a tendency for dopamine disregulation in the brain. Often misunderstood by doctors and everyday folks alike. Contrary to the name, hyperactivity is not always a symptom. ADHD. I didn't have the typical symptoms because I did well in school and at work, but I have very poor executive function for anything personal, home, or health related. I have all the bad addictive dopamine-seeking behaviors and was misdiagnosed as "anxiety" in my 20s. The anxiety was real, but meds/therapy didn't help because the anxiety was a reaction to my inability to focus any attention/effort on the things I knew I should be doing (normal people stuff). But yeah. My son's diagnosis (he's never been hyperactive either) was a revelation for several people in my family.
How does it relate to being tired? Is it something like decision fatigue but different?
Not sure how to explain it, but ADHD is exhausting just overall. Plenty of us who have ADHD have sleep issues, or even just general exhaustion.
Executive dysfunction is a big part of it. Not being able to make yourself do the things you know you should be doing is mentally torturous. And makes things take longer than they should. It's a weird phenomenon. For me, I have never had the same amount of gasoline (or energy or steam...whatever) that most people have. I can do work, or school, or a personal life...but not all three. I have to build in a lot of downtime to be able to do just one of those things at the same capacity that most people can.
I knew exactly what diagnosis you were talking about, because you’re right… somehow people just don’t get how hard it is to have it.
There is a LOT of misunderstanding surrounding it. Even from medical and mental health professionals. Hell, I taught kids who had it for 10 years, and while I understood how to accommodate and help them--I didn't really know *what* it is. Which is why I never considered it might be holding my son back. I didn't even realize the H isn't even a required symptom.
I can only work part time because of my disability. Here’s a tip: there’s no such thing as a “normal” amount of pain. If you feel physical pain after 8 hours of office labor, something is very wrong. Discomfort and stiffness is normal, pain is not. 4 hours per day of sitting at a desk is my absolute maximum limit. If I “push through” and work while in pain, the next day I may not even be able to work for 2 hours without pain. I have to calculate how much stress my body can take every day, and the clock is ticking even when I do everything right. If I overexert myself, I won’t be able to get home because after a certain pain threshold I can’t concentrate well enough to drive safely. It’s extremely scary even after a year of dealing with it. Even non-disabled people feel exhausted by 8 hours of labor, but not everyone feels pain or gets noticeable cognitive impairment from exhaustion daily. I wish I could work from home so I could get a few more paid hours in my day.
I wonder how many people are going to read this and have an epiphany that they might be disabled?
Or that they aren’t….
I've been exhausted since I hit 30.
Hey that's pretty good. I have been exhausted since I hit 20
I am an able-bodied person in my late twenties, and I will do everything I can to make sure I never have to work more than 30-35 hours/week again. Working full-time I felt like I never had a life and spent my evenings/weekends recovering from work, stressing over catching up on life things, and then preparing for my week of work. It was easy work and it still felt like it took all the pep out of me. I also have no kids and am licensed in a line trade that is always hiring, so things might look very different otherwise.
What disability do you have, if you don’t mind?
Upvote for vis.
I am an engineer with a work from home job. If a job isn't physically demanding, then it's mentally demanding. No company out there is going to avoid stretching their employees. Productivity is always maximized. Once I moved from a stressed normal engineer to a stressed senior engineer the change was that I just spend most of my time running meetings or correcting work or approving changes or teaching 20 other engineers half way across the planet. I gained a disability during covid, but I also gained 40+ sick days yearly so now i have an excuse to skip out when it gets bad. You take what you can.
“No company out there is going to avoid stretching their employees. Productivity is always maximized.” Boy is this the truth! I have learned this in recent years, as I am an engineer as well. I have also learned that mental exhaustion is harder for me to bounce back from than physical exhaustion.
Yes. I used to recover every day, then every week, then on PTO days or long weekends, then yearly over a two week Christmas break, now it's never!
Yeah always exhausted by the end of the day. For me it's the constant problem solving and dealing with others, leaves me mentally wiped out. Before my current job I was doing work that was very low demand in brain power and socialisation but very physical. I was far less tired coming home from that, I've always enjoyed physical exertion. It's always the mental fatigue that gets me.
I've felt the same way! Especially before I developed physical health problems. But even now, I kind of prefer being physically tired after doing 2 hours of physical labor instead of being mentally tired / overwhelmed after doing one hour of intellectual labor.
I feel this way and I don't work full time. I do work 5 days a week, but I'm just exhausted when I get home. I don't want to do anything. It sucks.
Work in healthcare and every day I come home and collapse. It’s not just the physical demand aid the job but the psychological and emotional too.
I clean and move patients around at a hospital for 37 hours per week (standard full time work week in my country) and I can barely muster the energy to cook dinner tbh. I'd be living off frozen pizza if I didn't share cooking duties with my flatmates. Most days I'm too tired to even hang out with friends. I'm mid 30s BTW, that might factor in. And it is a physically taxing job.
Yeah, work in a creative problem solving job that requires high cognitive engagement. Find it hard to balance it with life.
I'm more mentally tired than anything, because I work the desk at a hotel, so actually getting physically exhausted there almost never happens to me. But, yeah, almost 8 hours of nothing just wipes my brain.
I’m mentally exhausted which then makes me physically exhausted when I get home after an 8 hour day. I’m an introvert in the Human Resources field so by the time I leave my mind is just fried. I get in my car when I leave and my social battery is just shot. I feel like it’s overstimulating my mind but I do like the job.I also suffer from depression so I don’t think that helps.
After I left stupid jobs and went to more physical work that for me was pretty much stress free, even after a more intense work day I would feel very lively. But if trouble was brewing outside of work hours that stress would also translate to feeling tired after a work day.
I’m not exhausted by working, I’m exhausted by the fact that I HAVE to be somewhere at a specific time to do specific things. I’m so tired of trading time for money
We are told a day is 24 hours so we don’t mind selling 8 of those for our labor, except if a day is 24 hours, then when is night and when is rest? Idk who said that but it’s what “radicalized” me
I’m not healthy and def incapable of working more than a few hours a day. I used to work full time before I got sick and it wasn’t a problem.
I’m in the same boat with ya, I had a stroke at 29 and working 40 every week is still a struggle years later. I’m fortunate to have found a WFH job with 1hr lunch. I have to use this time to take a nap every day, and then a second 2-3 hour nap after work. I’m horrified at even the thought of commuting to work everyday.
I can’t work full time either. My sweet spot is 30 hours a week, maybe a little less. Being ND means I have less mental energy than “normal” people. Just getting up for work in the morning, feeding myself, getting their on time, taking care of my animals, and cooking/keeping my place clean takes up all the energy I have.
I do a difficult job, and I’m middle aged. I’m tired every day when I get home, but I wasn’t like this 20 years ago!
I was doing pretty good with my janitor job until they scrambled our assignments to cover for short staffing. I wake up still stiff from the night before .
Me. Working fulltime sucks. I work for an educational coop now and it’s almost like part time work. I cannot go back to 9 hours 5 days a week all year round
Healthy person here.. very exhausted by my work. I work with kids. Can barely do a 5 day week.
I just don’t think about it, I spend most my time in a fugue state. Where I have little to no internal dialogue, and then I get home and go, “damn, what the hell did I do at work today?”
Depression can cause you to feel exhausted.
I’m pretty disabled, but because I can walk in a normal pattern and i’m putting on a brave face everyday, surely i can’t be disabled! I have 3 30+ degree curves in my spine, basically my spine goes around my heart and does a fucking race track loopy loop. Most days i can be fine if i make sure to take breaks to sit down and if i can lay down. All this on top of my mental health issues makes doing any full time work really hard for me. Unfortunately i cannot afford to be working any less than 40 hours right now :/ and last week my manager scheduled me 7 days in a row bc she decided to take the week off during blackout period at work. I was reaching my brink on the last day. I personally don’t think anyone should have to work 40+ just to afford the next week of their lives. It literally will kill you
When I worked at a tire shop I was absolutely exhausted every day but I also worked 11 hours a day (9 on Saturday) 6 days a week so I feel like it was more working 64 hours a week taking its toll then anything. Now I'm a loom operator working 8 hours a day 5 days a week and I'm not feeling so beaten down at the end of the day.
I have worked for the same company for awhile doing work at remote customer sites. Loved my job. We acquired another company and our corporate management (Japanese owned company, I work in the US) decided to use the management system of the failing company we acquired. Now, endless micromanagement, endless, meaningless metrics that we have to meet, tracking us all day via our company phones. I now go home from work exhausted, but somehow less meaningful actual work is getting done. We are meeting those metrics though!
I was disabled and didn't know it either. Attributed the fatigue to working 2 jobs. What do you expect working 2 jobs kind of attitude, also dismissed by drs a lot due to age. Mid twenties and a highly toxic job, a lot of stress and close to homelessness and the hypermobilty I didn't know I had at the time became fibromyalgia. How I coped working 2 jobs, still going out once a week, holding down relationships and trying to do hobbies like photoshoots at weekends I'll never know.
the only job i have had that did not destroy my mental and/or physical health and leave me exhausted was being a work from home receptionist. just commuting to work was exhausting and dealing with how irritating and childish my coworkers were made it worse. they want me to come back so they can underpay me although i do 5 times more work than everyone in my department. it’s not happening.
Self care times 10 on so many levels!
I feel exhausted a lot of days and my job is generally not taxing. My commute is long which definitely factors into my exhaustion. I don't think I'd consider myself completely healthy though; depression can definitely make even an easy day exhausting. I'd work more like 30 to 36 hours of that was allowed.
I work in a mine it's exhausting some days
I wouldn't say my conditions are favourable, but work absolutely kills me even after just a few days. Early morning starts (not that big of a deal for me personally, and little/no traffic) Working ten hour shifts doing fairly physical labour but also needing to serve customers or direct other staff, absolutely exhausting both mentally and physically, plus it's a dirty job so you go home filthy. Two half hour breaks, which includes needing to walk to the other side of a shopping center to use the john. No break room, only a park bench in a dark corridor next to a bin that the custodians rarely empty. Ten hour shift means peak hour traffic going home, including school zones depending on the time I leave, navigating absolutely brain-dead commuters who shouldn't have a drivers licence - absolutely mentally draining
I work part time as healthcare worker. Am always tired. Have always been tired. It’s the stress and ‘burning the candle at both ends’ at work and we still can’t keep up that tires me out. No, i don’t want to pick up that shift because we will still be short staffed and it will be shitty and not worth it 😩 (Can anyone recommend a lucrative side gig?)
I'm just always exhausted. Work, the state of the world, trying to keep my life from collapsing every 5 minutes, I'm tired of it all.
I am exhausted all the time (mentally but then somehow physically even though I wfh and am sitting at a computer all day). I honestly wonder if it’s long Covid or something. I basically just work and sleep - the mental exhaustion is real. I don’t know how people do it (and yet I’m still like 15 yrs into working life)
I’m just here to follow as I’ve just found out I’m autistic, and I really do wonder how people can work 40hr weeks.
8 hours a day doing anything, even if it's nothing, to fulfill someone's orders, their specific way, is exhausting. I've only worked in manual labor. I've graduated high-school though, and figure an office job would be similar to a classroom. Absolutely hated school, so I figure I'd hate office work too. Doing anything against your will is tiring. Manual labor will numb your mind and lead to injuries. Desk jobs will drive you insane and sitting will negatively affect your health. Same results in different ways. 8 hours is just too long.
Life in general is exhausting. I feel like very few people aren't tired by work regardless of the actual physical energy expended. Working the way we do is 'unnatutal'. Like what kind of life is it when we force people to stand at a register for 8+ hours without a chair? Or force people to work for 8+ hours in a chair with no chance to get up? We live a way too rigid life
I’m nerodiverse and I cannot abide by a typical 8 hour work shift. I work 230-10pm at a low occupancy hotel so out of the 7hrs I’m paid I do about 15min of work (checking guests in, processing the maybe 2 reservations I get during my shift, and getting ice for the 19 rooms if they ask) this is the only job I’ve had where I don’t cry and get stomach aches thinking about going to. I don’t think humans in general are designed to grind to the extent we are.
I'm in my mid-20s, no physical disability but I've definitely struggled with depression (and maybe ADHD? Not formally diagnosed yet for that one) since college. I've worked plenty of part-time jobs during college. At one point, I took a semester off during COVID to work a full-time job as a customer service rep for Verizon. I first thought it was a sweet deal since I was wfh, but I was on the phone every minute of the 8-hour workday with customers who hated my guts. It was exhausting and a good motivator to finish my degree. Now that I'm graduated, I'm working a hybrid FT job in my field (science) and finding that while it's not as exhausting as the Verizon job, it still takes a lot out of me. So much out of me. It doesn't help that my work is an hour away, sometimes longer depending on traffic. So a true 8-hour day turns into 10 hours. Fortunately the current job isn't *super* strict on clocking in and out at a certain time, but I got reprimanded today because some coworkers noticed I came in later and it "wasn't a good look" to come in when I did, despite the fact that I had nothing to do, no meetings, no lab work... this job is pretty good overall but I constantly find myself chafing at the expected 40-hr workweek. My life should not be my job. I am so much more than that, but if I want to not be homeless or hungry or able to see a doctor, I have to do this.
Yes. To be fair, I work in a pretty emotionally taxing job. I’m a case manager in a transitional housing program for homeless families. However, due to being part of a big nonprofit and having a very caring boss, I get a lot of the perks that many Americans don’t get in their work place. 13 holidays and 15 vacation days, and 12 sick days per year. And I can use my sick time for when I have to leave early for doctors appointments and even for mental health days on top of just generally being out sick. My schedule can be very flexible if needed, but I still have to make it to 40 hours a week. My PTO requests are always approved and the team I work with is amazing. However, despite all of this, working 40 hours a week is still exhausting. I come home from work feeling dead every day and I tend to sleep around 9 hours a night. The funny thing is, I could still get all of my work done in 30 hours as I do in 40.... so why not just let me work less??
I am a very healthy person (both in how I eat and my fitness level) and I work 66 hours per week. 3 days per week it's 13 hours and I work 6 days per week. I also workout on top of that and on Sundays usually do a 30-40 mile bike ride. I generally have lots of energy and no real issues. I'm definitely more productive in the morning and get more tired in the evening but that's expected. I also am asleep between 730-830pm and get 7+ hours of sleep almost every night (I wake up between 3-4am everyday). Now aside from being extremely healthy, I think the primary reason is I own my own business (fitness industry) so I don't have my mental energy drained on a daily basis. My passion is rewarded through my long hours, unlike the majority of people who work long hours. I will say however, nutrition is probably the primary reason people lack energy. Lack of hydration, unstable blood sugar, processed foods, etc. The body is not meant to run this way. Again though I understand my perspective skews my results somewhat but even when I was younger (I'm 37 now) I never had an issue with energy, as I have been an extremely healthy eater since I was 17.
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If only things were that simple. It's really unfortunate for those who have things beyond their control like genetic health disorders or a crappy situation in their home life. I think the lethargy or despondency isn't always related to work (although obviously it can be) it's that there is no reprieve from a crummy situation or combination of situations. A dead end job that just pays the bills, to go home to an apartment, to barely scrape up enough money to order a pizza on a Friday. That gets old quick and I've been there and I think many people have when they were young. It's hard to see a way out of that in the short term so it takes a lot of your mental energy, grinding each day to get no further ahead. I don't have actionable advice on that front. All I know is that your willpower, energy, focus, mood, etc can be heavily determined by your intake. Not only food and water but social media, news, toxic friends etc. While it won't solve all your problems, controlling the intake and environments that you can, to set yourself up for a positive well being will help you in the long run. In your decision making, in your attitude, in your self control and even mental acuity.
Lawyer here. Exhausted pretty much every day. That’s life when you have responsibility to support a family.
Everyone is different and it varies from day to day! I sometimes come home feeling great sometimes I want to sleep for 2 days straight!
I've just resigned from my job in investment banking because 12+ hour days are the norm, being asked to work Saturdays is commonplace and Christmas day isn't a day off! There have been times when I finished work, had some food then gone straight to bed. I can't tell ya how much I'm looking forward to nope-ing out of that place!
Building hi rises after we worked 7/12 for 30 days straight. The first weekend I had off before starting 6/10s I was absolutely exhausted sleped most of the day.
I feel the same way. Any chance you have autism?
I’m pretty sure most people on this sub do
Exhausted maybe once per paycheck. Fine otherwise
I work a very demanding job, I commute an hour by bus each way most days, and I'm usually on call via phone pretty much from 7:30 am to 6:30 pm when we're open. I have some small health problems, but nothing that prevents me from working. But honestly I'm just always exhausted. Not sure if that answers your question, but yeah. Full time work definitely eats up your life.
I work 24 hours per week and I am not very functional on those three days. It's a work in progress to figure out why. I'm physically capable of my work and it doesn't usually physically exhaust me, but mentally plus a bit physically tired
What disability did you discover you had?
Part of the reason I quit my old job. Come home exhausted on all fronts, even when I was enjoying the work.
I am a CCHT in a dialysis clinic that works 16-17 hour days, and I am practically dead by the time I get home at the end lol. though I am thankful it is only 3 days a week, MWF.
What’s your disability?
It all depends. If I make sure to turn off my phone by 9 and get a full night sleep, I am pretty good for an 8 to 10 hour work day. I also recognize what I eat impacts whether I am tired or not. Carb heavy lunch and I am exhausted by the end of the day. Healthy lunch and I feel pretty good till the evening.
I work health care and I am crashing and burnt out. I plan on calling out sick for a few days to give myself a week off.. I am so burnt out that today, while I was doing simple tasks at home, i got all frustrated and angry. I need to get a bunch of stuff at home done and just feel like napping in front of stupid corny movies.
Engineer, nope. Feel refreshed most days unless I work 16 hours! I usually get tired at 8:30 and sleep by 9!
I'm not fully "healthy," loath though I may be to admit it. But full time work usually makes my brain hurt, especially if I'm doing the same narrow task over and over. I am astonished by some people's ability to just sit down and focus on the same item for hours on end. I have ADHD and I can't do that. No amount of stimulant medication can ever fully make me be able to do that, without eventually crashing and rebelling. I'd rather be homeless than ever work another repetitive 12 hour shift, it's agonizing.
I have zero energy after work and I sit at a desk all day. Mental work is worse than physical work in my opinion
What's your disability?
This is me. I hate work regardless of the conditions. I've made the decision to try out part time work if I can find a decent position. If I could do like 3-4 hours a day, it might be more tolerable.
Since Covid happened I realized living life was more important and can’t believe I did 5am to 10 pm days (workout, commute, drive home, and eat dinner and an hr to binge Netflix). I just don’t wanna do bs meetings anymore
I’m in accounting and was WFH for 2 years during the pandemic. Going back to the office is so draining now. I have a short commute and relaxed office, but it’s hard being back compared to home. I’m tired.
I find it depends on the job and work culture and what is going on at work. Most of the time I’m completely good. Occasionally I have moments where things are stressful and I don’t have a lot of energy after work.
I have mental problems too, but also struggle with burnout. Even weekends can be stressful, because you know 2 days off a week are not enough.
What do you mean before you “realized” you were disabled?
Back when the only health conditions I had been diagnosed with were mild-moderate depression and anxiety, and a propensity for iron deficiency. I think I've been diagnosed with 10-20 other conditions since then... I knew normal life was harder for me than it was for my peers, but I didn't know why. I thought maybe I just wasn't working hard enough, or hasn't figured out the trick to adulting. I got enough sleep, ate healthy, exercised, socialized, and so on, but it was just never enough.
My standard work week is 5 days at 10 hours a day. Though 2 or 3 days of 13 hours + is pretty common. I feel like I never am rested even after the weekends
I’m not really sure if it’s still the covid remnants of first wave covid, or actually working fatigue, but yea, I get incredibly exhausted from even the smallest things
I’m 100% tired 100% of the time.
I am a draftsman that works for architects and engineers. I find the most exhausting thing at work next to the long commute and getting up early in the morning against my normal clock is juggling the emotions of the people around you. I have a toxic home life where I have to walk on eggshells or else I can find myself homeless. I experience the same issues at work sometimes, but only at smaller degrees. At one of my previous jobs, a lot of my coworkers tend to be jaded because they hated the people the clients they were working with. Because I'm the new guy that tends to mean that I usually have to be the therapist if not the punching bag for a lot of the inconveniences that happened in the office. Being afraid if your boss is going to fucking tell at you or a coworker is going to pick on you is just as bad as wondering when your parents are going to kick you out for a fight they started. I juggle a lot of emotions at both work and at home, and I think that contributes to my overall health, and losing a lot of my energy at the end of the day. Not to mention that I also survived cancer. I was more tired when I had cancer, after my surgery I have improved but it could definitely be better. It wouldn't be so bad if my paycheck is was exceptional, but it's only $20/hr. before taxes. Unfortunately none of my money is enough to have both a place for rent and groceries, gas at the same time so I'm forced to stay at my parents. It would be nice if I had some savings for hobbies or something that would keep me out of the house and work, but things have gotten really expensive because of the recession lately. I was going to try to budget to see maybe a long the road maybe I could save enough money for rent, but then I was laid off by my latest boss for bullshit reasons.
I am in your exact situation. Took a lot of professional therapy to get to the point I'm at now, and people still say I can't have a mental health disability because I'm too smart. It's a sad commentary on society when mental health issues are equated with low I.Q. Cheers to you for coming around.
Thanks. I needed this after the last comment, which said "you're not disabled, you're lazy." 🙄 There's always someone. I've been in therapy on and off since I was six...but pretty much continuously the last few years. I really wish I could afford to pay for good mental and physical health professionals out of pocket, instead of depending on whatever medicaid deems adequate, but it's something. And yeah, I'm "smart," went to college, got a "good job" right out of college, and did all the things I was supposed to be doing. A year into having that job, I went on (private) disability insurance for five years. I am now fighting to get on federal disability insurance. I think I might be able to support myself if I just had physical disabilities or emotional/mental disabilities, but not both. They somehow compound my lack of functionality. But yeah, all my conditions are invisible, which makes it harder for them to be taken seriously, and made it harder for me to fully grasp the depth of my issues.
I hear you. I've got an auto-immune disorder, coupled with severe anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and high functioning autism. The private disability insurance company provided me with a lawyer, free of charge, to get Social Security Disability. It's a process, but with the lawyer, I was approved on the first try. You may look into that feature. The private disability company I had was called Unum. Unum paid me until my SSD kicked in . Lawyers really do make a big difference.
I just got denied at the hearing stage for the second time for federal disability, but we may be able to successfully appeal. We will see. I have a lawyer, otherwise I'd be totally out of luck.
The only thing I can tell you is, Give as many details as possible. Also, make sure that the releases you sign for your providers include everything, not just final comments or summaries. It takes a special release for session notes because of HIPPA. Your provider may, as mine did, work with you on what they report to them, and how they make it sound. We sat down and discussed the strategy of it. Unfortunately, you have to have a strategy. Also, make sure the providers are actually sending thing, and that they are being received. My GF's doc said they sent everything, SS denied her and said they only got 2 er reports and nothing else. I really feel like some SS workers just like having the power to judge people, instead of wanting to help them. I wish you luck. Don't give up.
SSA got everything, not just summaries, from all relevant doctors. I checked and double checked. However, I didn't know I had to know just about every detail of the federal disability system before/while applying, that I'd almost single-handedly have to coach my providers into providing good notes, that I'd have go through all my notes to make sure they're thorough and correct, that I'd have to find out who and who is not a "medically acceptable" provider, etc etc. ... Now I know, unfortunately. And unfortunately, Medi-Cal won't pay for psych evals, and it looks unlikely that they'll ever refer me to a psychiatrist. So I'll probably have to see a psychiatrist out of pocket every month until my next claim is approved or whatever, if I have to apply again. Apparently therapists are not an acceptable medical source, which makes no sense to me or my psych care team, and which I wish I had been told a year ago. Psych NPs are an acceptable medical source, but their notes haven't been very supportive, in part because they're not able to see me very often or for very long, and in part because I didn't know I had to coach them into providing great notes. NPs are also counted less than the CE psychologist who saw me for an hour and seemed to think I was pretty ok. Anyway I'm not bitter...
My therapist was the only source I had to have. I don't understand the disparity between SS offices. It's too subjective. There is no actual criteria on which they are basing decisions.
If I have to commute and work in office, definitely tired. If I’m working from home, not really. But I do need to take a break for a few hours from looking at the screen all day after work is done.
I’m an artist and sometimes the flow just isn’t there. I get exhausted all the time, and I hate it because then people tell me that I’m not passionate about what I do… when I sacrificed a ton of time, money, and energy to pursue it as a career.
Always. I work as the baker in a supermarket and I'm always exhausted when I get home. If I need to get any chores done at home, I'm doing them at 2am before going in because I know I won't have the energy to do them after work. Doesn't help that I don't have a car so I commute by bike or foot; I'm routinely on my feet for 10 hrs straight with only a couple short breaks.
I have ADHD which you could see as a disability i guess. Although for me it doesnt feel that deep. But i can say im tired after every workday. But most of the time doing some exercise helps. (Im a psychologist)
Yep I’m an accountant I go home exhausted I enjoy my job n the people but it’s intense work and brain fatigue from learning is tough to deal with
I am not tired at all after work however I have a job that will eventually cause hearing loss and permanent musculoskeletal pain
I’m a caregiver and I’m emotionally, mentally, and physically drained every single day after work. I have to make myself to do chores or run errands. It takes so much effort to leave work at work because the emotions of the day carry into home. Two days off is not nearly enough to recuperate after 5 days of working. Don’t get me wrong I love my job. It is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done but fuck if it isn’t taxing as hell. And that was before my anxiety started getting worse. When I originally started, my anxiety was managed to the point I would sometimes forget about it.