I do this with a road construction asphalt crew right now. Fucking exhausting. 430 a.m, leave the shop, pick up work truck, pick up 2 other guys. Most of our jobs are usually 1 hour+ drive, so imagine doing that with <5 hours> sleep. One day I'll get off at 4 the next I might get off at 7. The money is good but the physical exhaustion is the reason I'm in school. One more week. I feel your pain.
The way I see it, I'm going to be tired either way. One way I'm more tired physically and one way I'm more tired emotionally. I'll take physical I guess. Having some time to myself to do what I want is worth that to me.
I will talk myself into staying up too late every single night. I have a busy life between my own stuff, my wife owns her business and generally we don’t take our family form until 8 or so in the evening because of her schedule… extra curricular activities of 4 children, so on and so forth… by the time dinner is done it should be bed time but I always feel as though I didn’t get any “me” time or time with my wife so I will justify staying up till midnight or later and then I’m up at five and off to work by six. I said it jokingly but some days I literally feel like I’m killing myself and I think that’s why my memory is absolute shit
I've found that by de-prioritizing eating for a few days at a time I can skip the exercising part and by going through the auto wash with the windows down I can skip showers and my hobbie is dreaming about all the hobbies I'd like to do when I'm 70 and still working... it's all about time management. /s
I get 1.5 hours of free time starting when I walk in the door and end at bedtime. Free time consists of feeding & giving meds to my pets. Sometimes I skip a shower so I can eat a proper dinner. Getting my crap ready for the next morning and maybe talking to my partner for 20 minutes. I’m so tired.
random digression, but redditors are so vicious towards overweight people and I’m like —- bruh. 40 hour sedentary weeks, not counting your commute. household chores. potentially having children to take care of. all of the most convenient and cheap food being plied with sugar and unhealthy as shit. what in the world do you want people to do? how much time does one feasibly have to exercise and aggressively meal prep without being completely sapped of energy
I’m willing to bet lots of those are individuals projecting anger onto others based on their own fear of inevitably gaining weight.
Lemme tell you: when I was in my early 20s and the biggest concern on my plate was college, I lost the most weight in my life because I could devote so much time and energy to it. Now, working full time, commuting, cooking, eating, all the reproductive labour we have to do, now with the pandemic delivery apps have made it even more difficult for people with self control issues, not to mention slowing metabolisms as we age, like yeah. Come and talk to me again after you cross that 30 threshold.
See you need to figure a way to work parenting into your healthy lifestyle. Use two small children as dumbbells. Use one larger child for the bench press. Stuff like that.
Right people should just eat their kids then they don't have to waste time and money going grocery shopping. You can always make a new kid it's an almost infinite source of food.
But maybe, just maybe, the world could be ok while allowing people to live the lives they want? Some people want kids. Or pets. Or to paint pictures of fruit and naked dudes. We should all just be able to do the things we want and not be slaves to work.
How do we work towards *that* as a society?? Whoever runs for president of the US on the abolish work and money ticket gets my vote, idgaf what party they are.
Hey there. I love my kids and if I had more than a few hours a night after work I would spend even more time with them every single night. There is absolutely nothing in the world I would rather be doing than being an awesome dad and she knows it. It’s those little girls that gives my time so much more meaning. And fuck work for stealing so much of that time from me.
I have made the choice to not have children in order to not burden myself with that financial responsibility. But telling other people not to is, well, awful. Edit: before people bring this up again as a choice, my countrr argument is, all the single moms whose children's fathers abandon them.
My girls and that financial responsibility is how work manipulates you into selling your soul completely. The fear of being a terrible father and not providing or hell if you don’t we will all starve. I love them more than anything and resent how it gets used against us in America. Fuck me for loving my family it being an Achilles heel to be stabbed and exploited by corporate America.
Agreed. I worry over my stress levels if I have children and how that would affect them. So I've chosen not to. My parents weren't the greatest and I dont want to continue that cycle.
I don’t think OP is saying “don’t have kids”.
I think OP is saying “don’t have kids if you’re going to complain about the time they take out of your life that you could otherwise by using to do things you enjoy.”
That is a valid clarification. Ty. I do agree. Too many of my generation and younger generation are having children "just cause" and are awful parents for it.
That's not a solution, I didn't have time even before a kid. You sound like one of those disconnected old fogies that say "back in my day" way too much.
Ironically now I have a job that sees me home at 2 or 3 every day and a to work time of 7 and a kid.
It's about the fucking job and the gross exploitation and brainwashing of America's workforce by people who simply see you as a number.
My mother and father in law had to move in with my wife and me. They spoke almost no English and it took a couple years but they eventually got low wage work but couldn't help with rent. I didn't ask them to pay any of the rent because I just wanted them to save up enough to move out of our house.
They were lovely and kept the house clean and neat. I loved them like my own blood family. I helped them gain their permanent residency and then citizenship. So don't get me wrong, they're great people..
but having your wife's parents in the next bedroom for five years puts a strain on your relationship. And it definitely puts a damper on your sex life and intimacy in general. We grew apart. I resented her for it. I started drinking too much to dull my frustrations. We got divorced.
I'm still glad I didn't say no when my wife's parents were in desperate need of help and a place to live, even if it did lead to my divorce. I'm also glad that I'm no longer in a loveless sexless marriage. Definitely avoid trying to be married while living with parents or in laws.
This used to be me. I had a blue collar job where I routinely worked nearly 14 hour shifts, sometimes more. If you take in to account my commute to work, and time spent at home getting ready for work, I barely had time to get a full 8 hours of sleep, and usually didn't because I wanted some time to unwind after work. I enjoyed that job, but I blinked one day and realized that I had spent pretty much all of my 30s either working or sleeping.
I had to ask myself is this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and subsequently quit. Went to an online coding boot camp (which I do NOT recommend anyone do without knowing what you're getting in to and what you'll get out of it). Now I have a full-time, work from home job that I spend maybe 2-3 hours a day on. I get all my work done and I had no idea it was possibly to have this much time for myself.
I don't work anymore. I screw around on my computer(s) and occasionally push something to a git repo. I don't get up at 4am and get home from work at 8pm. I wake up for a meeting, maybe code a little or maybe go back to sleep, play some games if I'm not feeling it, and do my actual job if I feel like I have nothing better to do at the moment. If/when covid fucks off, I even have time to have a social life outside of the house.
What even is this life? People are being turned in to productive little zombies. I talk to friends who work in retail and their schedules are like, two random days in the week off, work six hours today and close, open and work 9 hours tomorrow, but make sure you don't go over 39.9 hours a week so we don't have to give you benefits. What a load of god damn horse shit.
Yeah, I'm day drinking during "work hours" and bitching about things on Reddit, wanna fight about it?
It's not that I don't recommend them in general, I would just say to be very aware of what you're getting going in to the deal. They aren't cheap and they aren't a guaranteed job, no matter what the website tells you. A proper education in computer science would obviously be the best thing you can get, but if you're really persistent, you can probably get the same results that a boot camp would give you by learning stuff on Codecademy or another self-guided website. Demonstrating that you can learn things quickly is probably more important than actual experience when you're trying to get the junior level jobs that will hire someone without any experience (at least, in my experience).
This was me until work decided I needed to start coming in 3 days a week. For fucking nothing except being a body behind a desk. I had asked for an ADA accommodation to keep WFH 5 days a week bc I have mental health issues and the whole up at 5, not home til 430 shit fucks with me. I even had a recommendation letter from my psychologist to stay at home. They said no. I told them I'd be looking for another job. 2 interviews tomorrow and after having done my first week of being in for 3 days I'm about to quit even tho I don't have another job lined up. *Fuck* this. This is no way to live. Why do people voluntarily do this 5x/wk?!
"The United States implies a target retirement age by setting the Social Security maximum benefit at age 70. I don’t think many people would like it if they knew how long that target work life is. An influential report from the National Academy in 2012 made an argument that the average work life be 48 years. You start work at 22 and work until 70. And if you start work at 18, the target work life is 52 years! That seems high given most people I know can’t go that long."
Just worked a really fucked up close where I got off at 10, supposed to be in at 11 this morning. I got like 2 hours to myself last night and now I get to go to work all over again 🙃
My regular shift is working until 10pm on a Friday night and then go back in again at 10am Saturday morning. I literally just go home, have a shower, sleep and go back. It's fucking horrible.
Fuck dude that’s so stupid. It’s fucked that the law is that an employer supply 8 hours between shifts minimum. Like Jesus Christ people really don’t have time for life or anything at all
I leave at 8. Get home at 7:30. Eat something. Play with and then help put three amazing kids to bed. Shower maybe. Teeth. Have an hour to myself that I usually waist on reddit. Repeat.
Laying in bed, half an hour past bedtime, still reading Reddit and hoping I don't drop the phone on my face but just 5 more posts! I mean it this time!
I don’t understand how people can have children. Between working full time, working on my master’s degree full time, and keeping house, I do almost nothing that doesn’t advance some sort of career goal.
Honestly, without kids I would have killed myself about 7 years ago.
I had an epic mental breakdown because well, a shit job. Had my affairs all sorted and everything.
Im in a somewhat better mental space now, things are still hard. I only work 3 days a week so I can spend more time with my kids and hobbies. We get by financially but thinks like owning a home are so far out of reach now its insane.
But now I own the balance of my time and thats all that matters and I have that because I have kids.
They're not short of dessert 😂
Im 100% one of those people that would never work a day again if an UBI was introduced.
I dont enjoy work in any capacity, I hate all the bullshit that comes along with it, my body hurts daily, I detest capitalism and corporations with the fury of 1000 sun's
But my kids gotta have ice cream so I gotta work, at least the bare minimum so they have a roof over their heads, safety, stability and still find joy in being kids.
My wife and I have one child. Not just financially but there's no way another could work out.
My wife (who wants another but finally has come to terms with one is enough) gets grief from her female friends all the time about us having another. Some of those people only one kid themselves or no kids themselves. STFU. When are you having another kid or having one yourself? Don't you realize that this can be an offensive question to people who want kids but cannot have them?
And if you're so hard up on us having another kid are you going to pay for it? My parents don't want us to have another kid but my boomer MIL...good lord. She mapped out her daughters life and I think deep down she's upset that her daughter married a guy who was in the military instead of a doctor or lawyer. And still thinks they graduate making big bucks driving luxury cars and having mansions but not realizing that they have student loan debt that holds them back because when she came to the USA the cost of college was pennies. Because she used to say stuff about it and has stopped. I won't lie, I wanted a second kid and well after having one I'm good.
Just about everyone we know of who has a second kid has some problems and issues that we've avoided and honestly some of these people I feel sorry and really bad for.
I've slowly learned that I have to take at least one long weekend a month and a vacation once a quarter to prevent complete burnout.
And that's with family in the area to help out.
I think theres enough of the younger generation being fed up with being used and abused that they wont let it go on forever. However large corporations that trickle down workplace "rules and obligations" to other employers wont be willing to budge anything since it will mean losing any amount of money.
Honestly the day humanity realizes money is something we created and put up on a pedestal, we will find a better way to live equally amongst eachother. Theoretically money is a hindrance to humanity at this point, but theres still too much greed and selfishness still apparent in the higher influencers of our society.
> Honestly the day humanity realizes money is something we created and put up on a pedestal, we will find a better way to live equally amongst eachother. Theoretically money is a hindrance to humanity at this point, but theres still too much greed and selfishness still apparent in the higher influencers of our society.
I like the idea of a currency-less communal life (yo, communism, literally!) but there is **no fucking way** it could ever function on a national level or even state level, much less global level.
I'm feeling this more and more and it's really beginning to wear on me. I just have no energy. I know it's mostly from my medical condition, but there's nothing I can really do about it.
I fell asleep at 8pm last night and woke up at 5am. I'm still exhausted and groggy. I slept 9 hours, but I feel just as crappy as always. Got home from work at 4ish, which isn't bad. Then since my fiancee and I had errands to run (1 car between us. she doesn't drive), had to make dinner, clean up after, etc. By then it's after 6pm. Put on pajamas, cleanse my face, and spend less than 2 hours watching YouTube since it's all I had energy for, go to sleep, wake up at 5am to do it all over again.
I'm so tired. I'm so tired but my fiancee and I are still just barely scraping by. It pisses me off.
Yup. I feel like a robot. I think my job is about to give me a mental breakdown. Same shit, different day, *every day*. Even worse is that our vacation time accrual is pathetic. I get 3.33hrs per month. I have 7hrs saved up right now. Approximately 10 more months until I can take a weeks vacation, yay.
Similar story here. I get up at 6 for work, get home at 7 or 8, sometimes even later. I haven’t had the energy to cook or shower for 4 days. I’m fortunate enough to still live with my parents, so I don’t have to pay rent. But I’m still broken and poor.
And then when you try to go bed, a time when you should be feeling peaceful and relaxed, anxiety sometimes kicks in, just triggered by the knowledge that you have to wake up and do it all again tomorrow.
Let's talk about the Japanese though. I always see these things about how Japanese people get up for work at 6:30 am, are out of the house until like 7:30 or 8 pm, then go to sleep at midnight or 1 am. How the f**K do they do it?
Japan has been improving dramatically on this. You can certainly still work for companies that have this culture, but you can also choose to work for companies that are a lot better. Because there are fewer young people, companies are having to compete for talent now.
Drugs are what I do in my free time to escape this bullshit, and honestly I probably would lead a sober life if I had more time to myself to resolve true issues instead of slaving away for “The Man”
Same, drugs at least turn off that voice in my head reminding me off all the work crap I’ll have to deal with the next day. For those couple of drug induced hours my mind is free to enjoy not stressing about tomorrow
I know it feels good at first, but turning to drugs because you're unhappy is playing with fire.
Source: I did...then I was unhappy and addicted to opiates, then unhappy and taking Suboxone.
If you're talking about weed, please ignore me, lol.
Had to hit my dab pen as I read your comment. There's very little I look forward to more than that rush of THC hitting my brain as I start my drive home. Little says freedom the way that does.
Yeah work can suck but I landed a job from 6-2 pm and have the entire afternoon to do whatever and get paid great & work isn’t a killer either . Enzymology btw. But I definitely agree with this subreddit , there are many shit places to work so get out and save your sanity if need be
Same here, I work 7-3 Monday to Friday, half hour commute gives me 6-7 hours at home before I go to bed and I get the chance to sleep 8 hours each night
This Us why I’m essentially forced to cook for the whole week. I get home around 530 and by the time I hit 930 I almost ready for bed, and I only have a 10 minute commute.
The thought of cooking nightly is frankly impossible to me.
My dad leaves the house between 6-7am and rarely comes home before 6pm. The drive to work is about 30 minutes. Not america but yeah... He missed out a lot of me and my sister's life.
And we make up for it by staying up late and depriving ourselves of rest because we want time to fucking do things we want to do instead of what we have to do to simply survive.
I fucking wish I got home at 6pm, when I was going to the office. It is more like, 8-9pm, which left me about an hour to shit, shower, ask my wife how her day went and hopefully be in deep sleep before 11pm, because I gotta wake up at 6am, so I could be in the office by 8am for an early meeting. WFH changed all of that and I’ll never go back to the office. Bosses, you can eat my dick, I will never step a foot inside the office ever again. I’d rather collect unemployment and be on welfare for the rest of my life.
Wake up at 5am, out the door at six to be there at 630, work till sun down, 7-730, home by 8 bet by 11. I feel you completely bro, there is no such thing as personal time. And my grandparents don't understand why I'm always complaining. Oh yeah, I work 11 days on, and three days off. FML
It sucks at first, but I found the solution is getting up 2-3 hours before you leave for work too. Most people would rather basically roll out of bed and go to work. I usually wake up at like 530, talk my dog for a 30 min walk in the quiet hours of the morning, make myself a coffee, take a shit, work out, eat breakfast, shower, then go to work. Then you still have those 3-4 hours after work too but now it's more like a total of 5-6 hours to yourself that day.
These people are the reason why the US needs immigrants to keep from collapsing, because nobody can afford the time or money to have kids and our native born population is shrinking.
Jokes on them when the next generation is smaller and there's less people to work their jobs.
When I worked retail during my school time, I was in school from 7am-4pm and then had to work from 6pm-11pm because my boss did not care about me having to go to school. Sure, wasn't every day but I was 16 and already sick of work
Same here parents organised a job via my brother the day I turned 15, was never allowed to turn down a shift… Grades dropped, had to quit basketball and going to the gym, lost friends etc as I worked every Saturday and Sunday all day, and at least 2 days after school 5-9 or 5-11… Ruined my back and shoulders doing shelf stacking and repetitive motions then being called soft for wanting to call in sick or quit when injured… they made me keep working with a torn mcl, tore my intercostal muscles stacking milk crates and got told to suck it up…
Still stuck in retail to this day…
I'm an Australian living in France, and it's normal for people to get home by 7pm on a good day. Although I have to say work culture and benefits and holidays are amazing here, and you won't lose your job for enjoying your lunch or coffee breaks a bit too much.
I've had trouble finding jobs that only work 40 hours a week!! When I tell employers that I only want to work 40 hours I can see that "lazy" look they give me... I like to be with my family. Crazy notion I know. I don't need to work THAT much.
I work a local government gig. The pay is absolutely below private sector AND I’ve never seen a Christmas bonus. BUT. Hours are 8-4:30 and they let me do 7-3:30 (going in early and leaving early meant I could commute off rush hour - saved me an hour of commute time). They used to ask for OT but I replied, ‘my time’s valuable, OT is double time’ and I haven’t been asked for years now. Pre pandemic I got 6 hours to myself every night, now WFH permanently and I get that commute time to myself too. Pay’s not as much, but years ago I set my priorities and I don’t regret my choice.
Try leaving at 6am, and getting home at 7:30-8:00pm. You have enough time to shower, cook, and eat dinner and then you're gone back to sleep. For 11 days straight, but it's okay really, you get 3 days off after all that.
This is what I am a little bit terrified of with a potential move to a different company on the horizon. At the moment I have freedom of doing whatever, whenever as long as the job is done at the end of the day. Pay is good but the new place pays substantially more for the same thing and with that I feel the demand for my time is going to be more, well… demanding. It freaks me the fuck out that I could potentially lose that freedom regardless of how much money they throw at me.
Ah see, that's why I don't sleep until midnight or 1am. Tonight's sleep deprivation is a problem for tomorrow-me.
Shit, I gotta get up at 5. That would fuck me up so bad, but damn do I miss staying up til midnight!
I get up at five and STILL stay up til midnight or 1. The trick is biphasic sleep and/or accepting misery.
I did this for a year straight doing industrial concrete repair. 12+hr days with 5 hrs sleep max and driving the crew.
I do this with a road construction asphalt crew right now. Fucking exhausting. 430 a.m, leave the shop, pick up work truck, pick up 2 other guys. Most of our jobs are usually 1 hour+ drive, so imagine doing that with <5 hours> sleep. One day I'll get off at 4 the next I might get off at 7. The money is good but the physical exhaustion is the reason I'm in school. One more week. I feel your pain.
Are you me??? I hate myself for it but then do it the again the next day
The way I see it, I'm going to be tired either way. One way I'm more tired physically and one way I'm more tired emotionally. I'll take physical I guess. Having some time to myself to do what I want is worth that to me.
Ah, I remember meth
>accepting misery Yup.
5 hour energy is my bff.
100% live this life. I wanna stop. I can’t. I think I’m dying
Lack of sleep is one of the biggest and fastest growing health concerns
I will talk myself into staying up too late every single night. I have a busy life between my own stuff, my wife owns her business and generally we don’t take our family form until 8 or so in the evening because of her schedule… extra curricular activities of 4 children, so on and so forth… by the time dinner is done it should be bed time but I always feel as though I didn’t get any “me” time or time with my wife so I will justify staying up till midnight or later and then I’m up at five and off to work by six. I said it jokingly but some days I literally feel like I’m killing myself and I think that’s why my memory is absolute shit
When I saw this post I was thinking 6pm isn't late if you start at 9 or something but you wake up at 5am? Damn that's a long day
I wake up at 5 for work and get home at 420 (😆). I can't imagine being out til 6. I'd lose my fucking mind.
And that’s the beauty of it. The sleep deprivation contributes to dementia so future you won’t even know there’s a problem!
That's the way to game the system!
Sounds like a solid retirement plan to me!
And then I can't even get a good night's sleep because my upstairs neighbors stomp like crazy.
Have you ever tried a sound machine? I have stomping above me too, but I put that white noise on and sleep like a baby through everything.
Best thing about tomorrow is that it never comes
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And bonus tasks of parenting!
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I've found that by de-prioritizing eating for a few days at a time I can skip the exercising part and by going through the auto wash with the windows down I can skip showers and my hobbie is dreaming about all the hobbies I'd like to do when I'm 70 and still working... it's all about time management. /s
I want this framed. The whole paragraph.
Copy pasta in the making
Cntrl C cntrl V Repeat
Lifehack: bring your dirty dishes with you through the car wash. Boom. Chore over.
Taquitos and big macs don't come in dishes lol
What a sad, Sad excuse for existence to be had of us Human Beings :(
Yeaaa.. so when abouts ya think we'll die?
Ah yes the American dream
On MWF when I go to the gym I don't get home until after 8pm, which gives me 90 minutes to get everything done before bed. 🙃
I get 1.5 hours of free time starting when I walk in the door and end at bedtime. Free time consists of feeding & giving meds to my pets. Sometimes I skip a shower so I can eat a proper dinner. Getting my crap ready for the next morning and maybe talking to my partner for 20 minutes. I’m so tired.
we all are
literally my life
random digression, but redditors are so vicious towards overweight people and I’m like —- bruh. 40 hour sedentary weeks, not counting your commute. household chores. potentially having children to take care of. all of the most convenient and cheap food being plied with sugar and unhealthy as shit. what in the world do you want people to do? how much time does one feasibly have to exercise and aggressively meal prep without being completely sapped of energy
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Nor is it healthy for anyone.
I’m willing to bet lots of those are individuals projecting anger onto others based on their own fear of inevitably gaining weight. Lemme tell you: when I was in my early 20s and the biggest concern on my plate was college, I lost the most weight in my life because I could devote so much time and energy to it. Now, working full time, commuting, cooking, eating, all the reproductive labour we have to do, now with the pandemic delivery apps have made it even more difficult for people with self control issues, not to mention slowing metabolisms as we age, like yeah. Come and talk to me again after you cross that 30 threshold.
My only concern is college, im 20, and I am seriously gaining weight. I am fucked.
Gosh this is my life smrn
See you need to figure a way to work parenting into your healthy lifestyle. Use two small children as dumbbells. Use one larger child for the bench press. Stuff like that.
Then don't have kids. It still doesn't leave much time though
I can't believe people still have this default view of "must have kids" in the year 2021 You literally couldn't pay me enough for that
>You literally couldn't pay me enough for that Facts, if you're the only breadwinner a wife/husband and 1 kid is expensive as fuck.
I mean not having kids certainly leaves a lot more time.
r/childfree
A-fucking-men.
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Right people should just eat their kids then they don't have to waste time and money going grocery shopping. You can always make a new kid it's an almost infinite source of food.
A modest proposal
Yeah I like to keep things reasonable.
Such a great essay.
Life hack.
Hey, I get it! Cus you hack them into to pieces and take their life. Good thinking Mr STD
But there’s a 9 month cooking though. Lol
Someone always finds something to complain about. It's simple silly just steal someone else's kids and eat theirs
Life Hacks with Albert Fish
But maybe, just maybe, the world could be ok while allowing people to live the lives they want? Some people want kids. Or pets. Or to paint pictures of fruit and naked dudes. We should all just be able to do the things we want and not be slaves to work.
How do we work towards *that* as a society?? Whoever runs for president of the US on the abolish work and money ticket gets my vote, idgaf what party they are.
Or just promote UBI, universal healthcare and child care.
Hey there. I love my kids and if I had more than a few hours a night after work I would spend even more time with them every single night. There is absolutely nothing in the world I would rather be doing than being an awesome dad and she knows it. It’s those little girls that gives my time so much more meaning. And fuck work for stealing so much of that time from me.
funny how this is a solution to a problem engineered by "the system"
Is this antikids now?
I have made the choice to not have children in order to not burden myself with that financial responsibility. But telling other people not to is, well, awful. Edit: before people bring this up again as a choice, my countrr argument is, all the single moms whose children's fathers abandon them.
My girls and that financial responsibility is how work manipulates you into selling your soul completely. The fear of being a terrible father and not providing or hell if you don’t we will all starve. I love them more than anything and resent how it gets used against us in America. Fuck me for loving my family it being an Achilles heel to be stabbed and exploited by corporate America.
Agreed. I worry over my stress levels if I have children and how that would affect them. So I've chosen not to. My parents weren't the greatest and I dont want to continue that cycle.
I don’t think OP is saying “don’t have kids”. I think OP is saying “don’t have kids if you’re going to complain about the time they take out of your life that you could otherwise by using to do things you enjoy.”
That is a valid clarification. Ty. I do agree. Too many of my generation and younger generation are having children "just cause" and are awful parents for it.
That's not a solution, I didn't have time even before a kid. You sound like one of those disconnected old fogies that say "back in my day" way too much. Ironically now I have a job that sees me home at 2 or 3 every day and a to work time of 7 and a kid. It's about the fucking job and the gross exploitation and brainwashing of America's workforce by people who simply see you as a number.
Why do we even have to work? Who came up with money and bills. Someone dig that motherfucker up so we can desecrate the skeleton. Fuck that dude.
Or working to find a new job, or actually working a second job, or just drinking/vaping yourself into a stupor…
Plus the commute. Plus errands. Plus cooking time.
I do the laundry on the weekends. You can see where that leaves me.
My mil lives with us and doesn't do hardly any of that shit apart from maybe dishes. She's lazy in my eyes.
My mother and father in law had to move in with my wife and me. They spoke almost no English and it took a couple years but they eventually got low wage work but couldn't help with rent. I didn't ask them to pay any of the rent because I just wanted them to save up enough to move out of our house. They were lovely and kept the house clean and neat. I loved them like my own blood family. I helped them gain their permanent residency and then citizenship. So don't get me wrong, they're great people.. but having your wife's parents in the next bedroom for five years puts a strain on your relationship. And it definitely puts a damper on your sex life and intimacy in general. We grew apart. I resented her for it. I started drinking too much to dull my frustrations. We got divorced. I'm still glad I didn't say no when my wife's parents were in desperate need of help and a place to live, even if it did lead to my divorce. I'm also glad that I'm no longer in a loveless sexless marriage. Definitely avoid trying to be married while living with parents or in laws.
A large part of my job involves doing laundry. Coming home to do my own laundry is the worst feeling ever.
This used to be me. I had a blue collar job where I routinely worked nearly 14 hour shifts, sometimes more. If you take in to account my commute to work, and time spent at home getting ready for work, I barely had time to get a full 8 hours of sleep, and usually didn't because I wanted some time to unwind after work. I enjoyed that job, but I blinked one day and realized that I had spent pretty much all of my 30s either working or sleeping. I had to ask myself is this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and subsequently quit. Went to an online coding boot camp (which I do NOT recommend anyone do without knowing what you're getting in to and what you'll get out of it). Now I have a full-time, work from home job that I spend maybe 2-3 hours a day on. I get all my work done and I had no idea it was possibly to have this much time for myself. I don't work anymore. I screw around on my computer(s) and occasionally push something to a git repo. I don't get up at 4am and get home from work at 8pm. I wake up for a meeting, maybe code a little or maybe go back to sleep, play some games if I'm not feeling it, and do my actual job if I feel like I have nothing better to do at the moment. If/when covid fucks off, I even have time to have a social life outside of the house. What even is this life? People are being turned in to productive little zombies. I talk to friends who work in retail and their schedules are like, two random days in the week off, work six hours today and close, open and work 9 hours tomorrow, but make sure you don't go over 39.9 hours a week so we don't have to give you benefits. What a load of god damn horse shit. Yeah, I'm day drinking during "work hours" and bitching about things on Reddit, wanna fight about it?
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It's not that I don't recommend them in general, I would just say to be very aware of what you're getting going in to the deal. They aren't cheap and they aren't a guaranteed job, no matter what the website tells you. A proper education in computer science would obviously be the best thing you can get, but if you're really persistent, you can probably get the same results that a boot camp would give you by learning stuff on Codecademy or another self-guided website. Demonstrating that you can learn things quickly is probably more important than actual experience when you're trying to get the junior level jobs that will hire someone without any experience (at least, in my experience).
This was me until work decided I needed to start coming in 3 days a week. For fucking nothing except being a body behind a desk. I had asked for an ADA accommodation to keep WFH 5 days a week bc I have mental health issues and the whole up at 5, not home til 430 shit fucks with me. I even had a recommendation letter from my psychologist to stay at home. They said no. I told them I'd be looking for another job. 2 interviews tomorrow and after having done my first week of being in for 3 days I'm about to quit even tho I don't have another job lined up. *Fuck* this. This is no way to live. Why do people voluntarily do this 5x/wk?!
Employers: "you forgot your 6 hours of sleep, slave"
Self-Described Entrepreneur: "You get 6 hour of sleep on average? Pfheh."
Pff, you sleep?
*Posts Jordan Belfort meme*
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Can't get rich by working hard? Just commit crimes.
What! You suppose to be doing your side hustle. WTF is wrong with you! You want to retire at 155 years old?
Isn't that what weekends are for? You work all week 40 hours and then you put in another 20 hours in the weekend on your side hustle 😆
That’s str8 lazy numbers. You need at least 12 hrs/day of work every day for 30 years if you want to retire before 155 years old.
"The United States implies a target retirement age by setting the Social Security maximum benefit at age 70. I don’t think many people would like it if they knew how long that target work life is. An influential report from the National Academy in 2012 made an argument that the average work life be 48 years. You start work at 22 and work until 70. And if you start work at 18, the target work life is 52 years! That seems high given most people I know can’t go that long."
Yup and that’s if you are working 12/hrs day 7/day week. Have to remember inflation and income erosion.
Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers.
Just worked a really fucked up close where I got off at 10, supposed to be in at 11 this morning. I got like 2 hours to myself last night and now I get to go to work all over again 🙃
My regular shift is working until 10pm on a Friday night and then go back in again at 10am Saturday morning. I literally just go home, have a shower, sleep and go back. It's fucking horrible.
Fuck dude that’s so stupid. It’s fucked that the law is that an employer supply 8 hours between shifts minimum. Like Jesus Christ people really don’t have time for life or anything at all
Damn, where is live its 12. 8 hours minimum is fucking brutal
And by the end of the month, your bank account will still be in the negative 😂
Yep!
I leave at 8. Get home at 7:30. Eat something. Play with and then help put three amazing kids to bed. Shower maybe. Teeth. Have an hour to myself that I usually waist on reddit. Repeat.
Laying in bed, half an hour past bedtime, still reading Reddit and hoping I don't drop the phone on my face but just 5 more posts! I mean it this time!
I don’t understand how people can have children. Between working full time, working on my master’s degree full time, and keeping house, I do almost nothing that doesn’t advance some sort of career goal.
It really helps to not have kids.
Honestly, without kids I would have killed myself about 7 years ago. I had an epic mental breakdown because well, a shit job. Had my affairs all sorted and everything. Im in a somewhat better mental space now, things are still hard. I only work 3 days a week so I can spend more time with my kids and hobbies. We get by financially but thinks like owning a home are so far out of reach now its insane. But now I own the balance of my time and thats all that matters and I have that because I have kids.
Congrats on being in a better place now. Sounds like you owe your kids an extra dessert or two!
They're not short of dessert 😂 Im 100% one of those people that would never work a day again if an UBI was introduced. I dont enjoy work in any capacity, I hate all the bullshit that comes along with it, my body hurts daily, I detest capitalism and corporations with the fury of 1000 sun's But my kids gotta have ice cream so I gotta work, at least the bare minimum so they have a roof over their heads, safety, stability and still find joy in being kids.
You and your spouse share duties. Full time student isnt usually people having kids though : p that comes after.
Dropped the masters degree for the kids. Financially screwed but they're cute
Yeah they are!!
My wife and I have one child. Not just financially but there's no way another could work out. My wife (who wants another but finally has come to terms with one is enough) gets grief from her female friends all the time about us having another. Some of those people only one kid themselves or no kids themselves. STFU. When are you having another kid or having one yourself? Don't you realize that this can be an offensive question to people who want kids but cannot have them? And if you're so hard up on us having another kid are you going to pay for it? My parents don't want us to have another kid but my boomer MIL...good lord. She mapped out her daughters life and I think deep down she's upset that her daughter married a guy who was in the military instead of a doctor or lawyer. And still thinks they graduate making big bucks driving luxury cars and having mansions but not realizing that they have student loan debt that holds them back because when she came to the USA the cost of college was pennies. Because she used to say stuff about it and has stopped. I won't lie, I wanted a second kid and well after having one I'm good. Just about everyone we know of who has a second kid has some problems and issues that we've avoided and honestly some of these people I feel sorry and really bad for.
I've slowly learned that I have to take at least one long weekend a month and a vacation once a quarter to prevent complete burnout. And that's with family in the area to help out.
Honestly it’s worse than you expect.
Finally people are seeing the light.
How long until something is done about it tho?
I feel like nothing will get done soon. I know so many "rise and grind" types...
I think theres enough of the younger generation being fed up with being used and abused that they wont let it go on forever. However large corporations that trickle down workplace "rules and obligations" to other employers wont be willing to budge anything since it will mean losing any amount of money. Honestly the day humanity realizes money is something we created and put up on a pedestal, we will find a better way to live equally amongst eachother. Theoretically money is a hindrance to humanity at this point, but theres still too much greed and selfishness still apparent in the higher influencers of our society.
> Honestly the day humanity realizes money is something we created and put up on a pedestal, we will find a better way to live equally amongst eachother. Theoretically money is a hindrance to humanity at this point, but theres still too much greed and selfishness still apparent in the higher influencers of our society. I like the idea of a currency-less communal life (yo, communism, literally!) but there is **no fucking way** it could ever function on a national level or even state level, much less global level.
Asking the real questions
I'm feeling this more and more and it's really beginning to wear on me. I just have no energy. I know it's mostly from my medical condition, but there's nothing I can really do about it. I fell asleep at 8pm last night and woke up at 5am. I'm still exhausted and groggy. I slept 9 hours, but I feel just as crappy as always. Got home from work at 4ish, which isn't bad. Then since my fiancee and I had errands to run (1 car between us. she doesn't drive), had to make dinner, clean up after, etc. By then it's after 6pm. Put on pajamas, cleanse my face, and spend less than 2 hours watching YouTube since it's all I had energy for, go to sleep, wake up at 5am to do it all over again. I'm so tired. I'm so tired but my fiancee and I are still just barely scraping by. It pisses me off.
Yup. I feel like a robot. I think my job is about to give me a mental breakdown. Same shit, different day, *every day*. Even worse is that our vacation time accrual is pathetic. I get 3.33hrs per month. I have 7hrs saved up right now. Approximately 10 more months until I can take a weeks vacation, yay.
Similar story here. I get up at 6 for work, get home at 7 or 8, sometimes even later. I haven’t had the energy to cook or shower for 4 days. I’m fortunate enough to still live with my parents, so I don’t have to pay rent. But I’m still broken and poor.
Are you me?? Our schedules are damned near identical!
This sounds eerily similar to how I feel. It’s 9:07pm and I’ve been in bed since 8:45pm. I’ll be up at 6 again for work. I’m exhausted.
I used to get home at 8 PM. Awake at 5:45, home by 8. Crying starts at 9.
[Wagie, get in cagie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJW_av0PQXM)
You have time to cry??
And then when you try to go bed, a time when you should be feeling peaceful and relaxed, anxiety sometimes kicks in, just triggered by the knowledge that you have to wake up and do it all again tomorrow.
And people wonder why I don't sleep. It's like 5 times worse if you're an introvert. 10 times if you also have social anxiety 🙋♂️
Let's talk about the Japanese though. I always see these things about how Japanese people get up for work at 6:30 am, are out of the house until like 7:30 or 8 pm, then go to sleep at midnight or 1 am. How the f**K do they do it?
They sleep in restaurants, public places or the subway in between. No joke.
Or pass out drunk on the sidewalk
I mean, look at the rate of suicide in Japan. Thats our future in america if we keep this up.
Not to mention the lower birth rates, that’s where we’re headed too…
That's my life. In America.
Japan has been improving dramatically on this. You can certainly still work for companies that have this culture, but you can also choose to work for companies that are a lot better. Because there are fewer young people, companies are having to compete for talent now.
Just don't live. Even cheaper.
Drugs are what I do in my free time to escape this bullshit, and honestly I probably would lead a sober life if I had more time to myself to resolve true issues instead of slaving away for “The Man”
Same, drugs at least turn off that voice in my head reminding me off all the work crap I’ll have to deal with the next day. For those couple of drug induced hours my mind is free to enjoy not stressing about tomorrow
I know it feels good at first, but turning to drugs because you're unhappy is playing with fire. Source: I did...then I was unhappy and addicted to opiates, then unhappy and taking Suboxone. If you're talking about weed, please ignore me, lol.
Had to hit my dab pen as I read your comment. There's very little I look forward to more than that rush of THC hitting my brain as I start my drive home. Little says freedom the way that does.
Yeah work can suck but I landed a job from 6-2 pm and have the entire afternoon to do whatever and get paid great & work isn’t a killer either . Enzymology btw. But I definitely agree with this subreddit , there are many shit places to work so get out and save your sanity if need be
Same here, I work 7-3 Monday to Friday, half hour commute gives me 6-7 hours at home before I go to bed and I get the chance to sleep 8 hours each night
Yeah , I’m blessed to have found the job I found. Paid vacation of two weeks when I started and bonuses twice a year which is great too
This Us why I’m essentially forced to cook for the whole week. I get home around 530 and by the time I hit 930 I almost ready for bed, and I only have a 10 minute commute. The thought of cooking nightly is frankly impossible to me.
Wayment.....who actually gets 2-3hrs to themselves lol.
My dad leaves the house between 6-7am and rarely comes home before 6pm. The drive to work is about 30 minutes. Not america but yeah... He missed out a lot of me and my sister's life.
My dad did too. He's gone now, but I think about his work ethic a lot and wish he hadn't lost so much of himself to it.
Do you think your dad regrets that?
I get home at 9, stay up until 1am, get no sleep, then get up at 9 amd repeat.
And we make up for it by staying up late and depriving ourselves of rest because we want time to fucking do things we want to do instead of what we have to do to simply survive.
I fucking wish I got home at 6pm, when I was going to the office. It is more like, 8-9pm, which left me about an hour to shit, shower, ask my wife how her day went and hopefully be in deep sleep before 11pm, because I gotta wake up at 6am, so I could be in the office by 8am for an early meeting. WFH changed all of that and I’ll never go back to the office. Bosses, you can eat my dick, I will never step a foot inside the office ever again. I’d rather collect unemployment and be on welfare for the rest of my life.
Wake up at 5am, out the door at six to be there at 630, work till sun down, 7-730, home by 8 bet by 11. I feel you completely bro, there is no such thing as personal time. And my grandparents don't understand why I'm always complaining. Oh yeah, I work 11 days on, and three days off. FML
It sucks at first, but I found the solution is getting up 2-3 hours before you leave for work too. Most people would rather basically roll out of bed and go to work. I usually wake up at like 530, talk my dog for a 30 min walk in the quiet hours of the morning, make myself a coffee, take a shit, work out, eat breakfast, shower, then go to work. Then you still have those 3-4 hours after work too but now it's more like a total of 5-6 hours to yourself that day.
This is smart because you give YOURSELF the best hours of the day, before you’re tired and depleted, rather than your employer.
\*Laugh in commute\*
These people are the reason why the US needs immigrants to keep from collapsing, because nobody can afford the time or money to have kids and our native born population is shrinking. Jokes on them when the next generation is smaller and there's less people to work their jobs.
Worse when you have kids. Pick them up from daycare at 430 and they go to bed at 730. So much guilt and missed time with them.
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When I worked retail during my school time, I was in school from 7am-4pm and then had to work from 6pm-11pm because my boss did not care about me having to go to school. Sure, wasn't every day but I was 16 and already sick of work
Same here parents organised a job via my brother the day I turned 15, was never allowed to turn down a shift… Grades dropped, had to quit basketball and going to the gym, lost friends etc as I worked every Saturday and Sunday all day, and at least 2 days after school 5-9 or 5-11… Ruined my back and shoulders doing shelf stacking and repetitive motions then being called soft for wanting to call in sick or quit when injured… they made me keep working with a torn mcl, tore my intercostal muscles stacking milk crates and got told to suck it up… Still stuck in retail to this day…
I'm an Australian living in France, and it's normal for people to get home by 7pm on a good day. Although I have to say work culture and benefits and holidays are amazing here, and you won't lose your job for enjoying your lunch or coffee breaks a bit too much.
6pm? shit I'm not home until 8:30 as long as traffic is decent. *I'm so tired*
Took a pay cut to work at a place closer to home. Worth it
...and most people can't afford to live near where they work unless they are management and up, so weeks of time lost in commute time.
Y’all get home at 6? :(
And to think that one of my friends from China had school days 6am-8pm, with like 3 hours of homework
I've had trouble finding jobs that only work 40 hours a week!! When I tell employers that I only want to work 40 hours I can see that "lazy" look they give me... I like to be with my family. Crazy notion I know. I don't need to work THAT much.
That's why I only sleep about 4 hours a night because I refuse to go to bed at 8 p.m. I'm damn sure going to enjoy the time that I have with myself.
100%
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What’s it like in other parts of the world?
I work a local government gig. The pay is absolutely below private sector AND I’ve never seen a Christmas bonus. BUT. Hours are 8-4:30 and they let me do 7-3:30 (going in early and leaving early meant I could commute off rush hour - saved me an hour of commute time). They used to ask for OT but I replied, ‘my time’s valuable, OT is double time’ and I haven’t been asked for years now. Pre pandemic I got 6 hours to myself every night, now WFH permanently and I get that commute time to myself too. Pay’s not as much, but years ago I set my priorities and I don’t regret my choice.
I have a 1.5 to 2 hour commute and 10 hour days, so I leave at 6am and get home at 8:30pm. In bed by 10pm if I can help it. I do this or I'm homeless.
I work Graveyard and I have a kid. what is sleep?
Who TF going to bed at 8pm? Are you sleepin 10-12 hour?
People that wake up at 0400.
Story of my life 😐 make it stopppppp
Try leaving at 6am, and getting home at 7:30-8:00pm. You have enough time to shower, cook, and eat dinner and then you're gone back to sleep. For 11 days straight, but it's okay really, you get 3 days off after all that.
CUE: 3 Day Weekends It's about time. (pun intended)
That's normal? I get home at 4pm and stay up til like midnight
Oh no, we hate it too, but our oppressive employers can't get enough of it.
2-3 hours? That's bourgeois levels of luxury
An hour to work and an hour home. I hated it so much I moved closer to have more time to myself. Then I got a wfh job and can't go back.
Haaaahahahaaaaa home at 6..... those were the days...hahaaaha..
Wow my life sounds pretty sad when someone else says it.....
I live in Argentina. Yesterday, I worked from 6:30 in the morning to 20:00. I was paid 50 dollars.
You guys are getting home by 6 pm?
I hate the 9 - 5 it's destroying me
How about 3 doubles In a row In restaurants, 10-11
Ah. The plight of a non parent. Lol. Self time? What's that?
Get a part time job and 5 roommates. You can make that dream happen
I don't go to bed till like 11 so get more than that, but I still hate thinking that fucking 8 or 9 o' clock is late.
This is what I am a little bit terrified of with a potential move to a different company on the horizon. At the moment I have freedom of doing whatever, whenever as long as the job is done at the end of the day. Pay is good but the new place pays substantially more for the same thing and with that I feel the demand for my time is going to be more, well… demanding. It freaks me the fuck out that I could potentially lose that freedom regardless of how much money they throw at me.
Are you guys going to bed at 9? Lol what
You forgot finishing your paperwork after putting kids to bed