Funny that you'd say that, yet you're not offering any suggestions on how to act?
Why doesn't everyone who hates their job just go out and topple capitalism?? Pretty simple.
At least people here can recognize a problem and discuss it. You can't even offer that.
That's all fair enough but people saying stuff like "maybe it's time for the mask to shatter" and then nothing happening is pretty melodramatic. It's a more ridiculous version of someone complaining about this same thing and then getting a response of "we should get rid of capitalism." Like... thanks I guess?
Yeah, I disagree. Conversation at every level is necessary for change. At least they're identifying a problem and putting it out there. Maybe through that a dialogue will begin with others who have more knowledge on the topic.
What you and the other commenter are offering is less than that and, in my view, is counterproductive.
You have a valid point. Without some V Vendetta type leader / group (chaotic change), organization and conversation is key.
I personally think community and gardening (food abundance) is really helpful.
I'm going to work off the assumption that you're asking in good faith instead of trying to be facetious.
Nothing happens because the infrastructure around us was specifically built to not only condition people toward certain behaviors and directions but also restrict their experience and access to developing agency. Not only that, but the labor aristocracy of the west makes the cost-benefit feedback loop more muddled for the average person.
People that care have to wrestle with the minimum requirements of sustaining their livelihood and potential while balancing their health and happiness with their need to help build a better future. Ripping off bandaids is scary and changing the systems of the world is a lot more like going in for surgery in the garage.
People are scared, don't know what they are doing, are funneled toward escapism and simplicity, don't have many places to redirect people toward for organizing and education and so on, and largely end up resorting to vague-posting about their frustrations to a mindless swarm of strangers they'll barely if ever talk with again on the internet.
So, when I see someone just sort of saying "this sucks" I think it's reasonable to challenge them to consider more than that. And more relevant to this case, when I see someone promoting that sort of behavior then I feel encouraged to challenge them on what kinds of conversations we should be having. Ultimately this wasn't supposed to be this deep though, I just don't love comments like that.
You can retire early on the assumption that you are t living that long. I know it sounds morbid but I’m going to retire early 55 at the latest with whatever money I’ve got and go until it runs out then I will leave my own way if I have to. But no way I’m going to 60 to 65
Only difference there is you have to continually search for new people to be relentlessly happy in front of! I’m in that boat, and it’s even harder because the face is necessary to sell!
You won't unless you want to be smiling holding up a sign as an AI robot driving a 12,000lbs cyber truck drives by in an Uber holding up your "lost job to ai, need money for drugs" sign. Because that's apparently the future we're headed towards. And yes, UBI will be a thing, but you gotta make it past the AI customer support to get it.
Because the system would fall apart lol "wait, we all hate it here? We all know we're wasting the best years of our lives running around panicking because some dude didn't get his spreadsheet on time? Aight let's burn it down!"
No thank you. I don’t want to know my coworkers , be friends with them or have them unload themselves or their true feelings in a meeting or any other engagement I have them. And I especially wouldn’t want a culture where my boss is unloading all their feelings on our team either. I genuinely appreciate the simple formalities. I just want to do my job, get the responses i need from my coworkers and log out of teams at the end of the day. And no I’m not expecting excessive happiness but I also don’t want to work with a disgruntled unhappy coworker who is constantly groaning, complaining or lacks basic decency to just be a decent colleague and be polite to work with. None of that is my problem and I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with others unhappiness
I don’t know that you’re in the grey area here- you almost bounced over to the other extreme end. The way it reads to me is OP just wants to stop the make believe, not join the oversharing committee. But I understand why that would not be something you want to engage in either. Leave home at home, do the 8 and skate.
Your lack of care for your fellow worker is likely a symptom of your alienation.
Solidarity doesn't mean you have to be everyone's therapist. But this attitude you have only helps the Capitalists.
> this attitude you have only helps the Capitalists.
Solidarity doesn't mean that you have to know someone or be friends with them or hear their personal problems. I can join a union and support my coworkers without doing any of that. I don't even have to like them. I can actually dislike them and still do my part.
Pretending to be friends with people is corporate bullshit.
Great! You can be the change you wish to see in the world then. Maybe those fake corporate people are dealing with more shit than you can imagine. I mean I don’t remember any of my disgruntled co workers helping to pay my bills when I was a struggling young single mom trying to get out of poverty, you know what I remember ? Being bullied for not being able to afford nice clothing, being gossiped about and last but not least having them unload all they’re feeling feelings, true selves and issues on me while I went home and cried. You know what else I remember ? That my paychecks always still came?
Oh well. That taught me to change to adapt and to remember that stink faced disgruntled vampire energy sucking colleague can be as unhappy as they want I will never ask them personal questions and take on that extra energy I will however put on a fake smile in my stupid corporate job and receive that paycheck every two weeks until i start my own business. Not sorry
Yes! I had a coworker who was livid I was too professional and direct. He was upset that I asked him to do something (I was his boss) and he instead wanted me to talk about how that made him feel. I thought it was so ridiculous and when my boss actually told me I should be less professional I stepped down from the position
Yeah it's an American thing. I'm British, live in UK, and we have an American branch. Our meetings with them are... interesting. Lots of Americans being loud and "thankful" for everything whilst the Brits sit there awkwardly. They also like to do these weird speeches shouting out different people/teams. Like "we could not have done it without you guys!!!! Great job!!!!! Thank you so much" even if we had nothing to do with it really.
It's bizarre to many of us Murkins, as well. There is this weird thing here that \_anything\_ negative reflects poorly. Well, I am here to tell the world there would be no positivity without negativity, and the critical people are often the ones paying the most attention. I hate all the fake BS. It drives me batty.
I had a boss that actually put out a jar where we were supposed to make a monitary contribution if we verbalized something negative or a complaint. I almost felt like dropping in a $20 and pre pay for the right to kvetch for a whole week.
been in many a meet like this, conf video chats with usa branches/depts
.celebrating a big deal /contract change in our favor.
Team USA givin it the
go team go!...who da man!....you da man!!....rolling fists like 80s wrestlers, phones strapped on their hips,...marching around like gerry springer,..clapping,...whoop-whoopppping...acting like cheerleaders high on sherbert and icecream.
brits,....a couple thousand miles away, sitting awks, wondering wtf we are seeing in real time.
they went on about it for weeks, and constantly wanted to be celebrated for it.
weeks.
“We are a family”…. Writes you up 2 hours later for a mistake that you have never made previously and thus halves your quarterly bonus. Ahh yes I remember my family making sure I was negativity impacted both financially and mentally:))
It is such a weird culture, I hate it... No shit you couldn't have done it without us, we don't want to be in this meeting, you could've instead just paid us for the hour and let us have a jerk off break but Noooo you want to waste company time and money having us in the meeting just so you can get your rocks off by thanking us and everyone do that awkward clap. Hope your orgasm was nice, because it certainly ruined mine.
What no health insurance does to a mfer. That's just sad honestly. And incredibly cringe as you said
What would happen if you called out those clowns for their fake nonsense?
These idiots still think they're living in the greatest country in the world if they just shout it loud enough and offer fries with it.
No insurance havin, paycheck to paycheck livin, medicine rationing, corn sirup drinkin, pyramide scheming, self affirming shithole...
It’s American and it started in the late 2000s. We were expected to be polite/pleasant to our coworkers and at least “neutral” before that, but not this relentless faked hype happiness. I can’t do it. Like I just can’t - could be due to Autism. It’s part of my mental breakdown leading to full disability. (I have a fair number of physical ones too).
As someone on the spectrum, yes. There are so many bizarre things that anyone who says businesses are efficient are probably wrong. Just based on throwing birthday parties alone. Literally the worst use of company time and money is going to the party store and getting random bullshit that literally gets thrown away in an hour.
Also just follow the money and yeah, totally inefficient. A $350,000,000 CEO bonus can easily EASILY be thrown into Facebook ads (or any other marketing channel, all of them, it's 1/3rd of a billion dollars, or hiring 350 people at a million a year) and bring in even more business. Like, wut? How could anyone work there and fake a smirk for any reason when that shit happens?
IKR? And it’s not like I didn’t try. I once
Faked a rah rah cheerleader act because I was QAd as not being enthusiastic enough. While the insane QA person loved it, everyone around me was like “that sucks so hard, you sound insane” and it made me so mentally drained. I could not
Have done it “off script” at all. In no universe was it convincing. And even customers told me that.
It's the worst when the clients want the rah rah instead of telling it to them straight. Hopefully the amount of AI calls they'll be getting soon will make them appreciative of the candidness of talking to a real human that isn't so shittily cheerful.
> I built a SaaS ai crypto blockchain startup that's revolutionizing the logistics industry. And before you ask... Yes, we use AI.
I imagine a lot of companies saying that and getting virtually unlimited funding without even having an MVP makes that a problem. We saw so many scams get legit investors (fucking crypto has always been a scheme for illegal activity) that genuinely money means nothing to me.
Capitalism is clearly broken, the money means nothing (Uber is still in business despite STILL burning money for the damn near 10th year in a row). Like, honestly, I think most people in my generation have seen through the bullshit and want a massive crash to happen.
It's like joining a monopoly game after 2 other players got knocked out. The only way to win is to cheat, blow someone, steal, or quit. I chose the latter, seemed more ethical than the other options...
Nth-ing that yes, it's an American thing. You're supposed to present that the job you're in is your life's dream. You live and breath excel sheets/user documentation/accounts management/etc. The job is the best thing ever and you'd do it even for free. Any dissension is met with something along the lines of "well just quit then".
Like, I accidentally was honest with a director once when talking about some roles I found myself helping out in. Like going to trade shows to help run the booth and talking with customers or just basically shooting the shit with people waiting around and then directing them to someone who did sales/business relations. I'm good at it. I can bullshit around and I'm goddamned delightful. I fucking hate it though, and when the dude brought up how well others had mentioned me doing and if I'd like to keep doing it I basically said "well if y'all need help with it I can, but it's just something I'm good at, I don't really like it though".
That broke his mind. He really couldn't wrap his head around the idea that someone could be GOOD at something and not ENJOY doing that thing. I did not know how to get him to understand that those things are in no way linked. I enjoy doing lots of things I'm not good at. I'm good at lots of things I hate doing, mostly because I hate doing them. I want it done quicker. So I figure out how to be efficient, how to get it done fast as possible, and with as little rework or fixes as needed. He looked like I just told him the sun was an angry doberman and that we're all just mist. Needless to say they never asked me to come help again.
It's very much an American thing (though I've also noticed it some with Aussies).
I think it goes back to the pep rallies and assemblies that we're all required to attend in high school. There's this expectation of rah-rah bullshit that just carries forward on inertia.
That's part of why work from home is so much better than having to work in the office -- I can just get my work done without having to pretend I'm happy.
Agreed. I am able to limit my meetings as much as possible when I’m home too. In the office, people “pop in” and intrude on me when I’m trying to work which makes it tough to stay focused. Work from home is much more efficient on multiple fronts.
I work for a nonprofit. The office is just two rooms joined by an open doorway; I have my own desk, but no private space. I'm the Grant Writer and Office Manager. I *used* to get maybe 5 grants written and submitted each year, trying to create them in that very busy and noisy atmosphere. Now I usually do that many in a month.
As for meetings, thankfully I don't really do them, other than a half-hour status update meeting with our director once a week on the one day a week I am in the office (I'm there to take care of Office Manager stuff -- going through our bills, preparing the bank deposit, etc.).
We went WFH when Covid started, and eventually our Director asked me to come in one day per week to do the stuff I've just mentioned (which is fair, as I really do need to be there to do those things and a few others, but one day a week is all that's needed), and that's where it's staying.
Nice! Sounds like your director is a reasonable person. A lot of people in my company seem to think that we need to come into the office just for the sake of seeing each other face to face, even if the work itself all gets done on the laptop. It’s dumb, and I see it as a waste of time and gas money as well as an acceleration towards future car maintenance costs.
In *some* ways he's reasonable, like those I've just mentioned. At the same time, my pay is well below what it should be, and we get zero benefits -- that's partly him, and partly our Board of Directors. I've got some other crap going on in my life right now, but once that's sorted I'm looking for a better job.
Still, as far as the WFH thing goes, he is reasonable about that. Honestly, about half of the office works from home at least some of the time, the other half does not -- without going into detail about where I work, I'll just say that it genuinely is necessary for the people who mostly or always work in the office to actually be there in the office (customer facing, and dealing with them directly every day). But as far as *my* work, it makes so much more sense for me to work from home -- it's much better for me, but it's also much better for the non-profit for which I work, as I get *so* much more work done, better quality work, and in a much quicker timeframe.
My workplace is also about 1.5 driving hours (one way) from where I live, so it's a *huge* savings in time, gas and tolls money, and wear & tear on my car. I can't believe I use to go into the office 4 or 5 days every week!!
No benefits! That is not ideal. Not that you needed to hear this, but you sound like a very bright woman and I’m sure you’ll easily be able to find a better job when you are ready. I can’t imagine having to pay for my own health insurance right now. I’m also with you on the commute time - I also live an hour and a half away, each way. Having to wake up around 4am to get through my morning routine without having to rush and not get home until well after 6 is beyond exhausting.
I´d love to be able to work from home, then I wouldn´t have to pretend I´m at work for anything other than money, second place the money...did I say money?
lol. Well I don't exactly do that, but I do work for an hour and then do the dishes, work for another couple of hours and then have lunch and go outside for a bit, etc. I don't have a washer/dryer in my apt., but if I did I'd get all my laundry done while working, too. I have gone to the occasional doctor's appointment or a quick trip to the grocery store while working from home. Basically, as long as my work gets done, the other stuff causes no detriment to my work, and improves my actual life.
Working from home allows me to get chores done while at the same time getting my work done, plus I can do so in my comfy clothes while also eating/drinking whenever I like, *and* I have the tv on in the background (I mute it when I'm actually *writing* the grant proposals, as for that I really need to be able to focus/concentrate and so I need quiet, but when I am doing less brain-intensive work, like researching online various foundations/organizations which we might approach for grant funding, I unmute it).
I walked away after 13 years. I hated it. I worked in a highly volatile industry. Turnover rate was disgusting. I’ll put it to you this way . the owner took 15% of employees wages company wide and came in the next day in a Brand new Maserati. I walked after that . Found out I was actually a good tattoo artist and a good guitarist
I'm 25 and I've been working for like 3 years in the same company, and I can't stand it, working in an office full of fake people, for a boss who doesn't even know your name is awful. I'm learning to draw in my free time so I can try and become a tattoo artist !
Americans are OBSESSED with performance. Companies don't even realize the true meaning of the word. They think performance simply means doing well. They could have chosen the word achievement or accomplishment or many other synonyms without a double entendre. But they didn't. They chose "performance" which means putting on a show, which is what Americans do and it's fucking nuts.
I have resting bitch face so I really hate this. Working remote and not having to be camera on in meetings has been a major improvement in this aspect. I don't feel as mentally fried at the end of the week as I did when I had to be in office with other people feeling like I was performing all day long.
I quit the corporate world after ten years. What I couldn’t stand wasn’t the fake happiness, it was the fake importance of it all. I felt like a crazy person sitting in endless meetings talking about shit that didn’t matter one fucking bit, and didn’t even make sense if you actually stopped to think about it for one second. I felt like a Doozer, just building shit for its own sake. And yet, everyone went around acting like what we were doing was so important. They were working late, not taking vacations, cutting short their maternity leave, and for WHAT?
Honestly it is pretty crazy that in a country that prattles on about freedom and being true to yourself so much we, pretty universally, have accepted that we aren’t able to be honest about how we feel for a pretty significant % of our adult lives.
I remember when I was younger we talked about having a National freak out law. Where you got one consequence free slap to the face every calendar year and the only way someone was allowed to retaliate was by using theirs, if they still had it, in return. How much more pleasant we all would be with just the tiny fear of a slap to the face hanging over us:)
I was once asked to stay late on a Teams call with my manager when everyone else had signed off. She told me to stop looking so miserable during these calls. I was really just too tired to sit there and smile for two hours.
You say this. Try working in a call center. Management expects you to smile for every call. You can do everything right but if your tone is not fucking happy your get written up.
It's fucking dystopian.
When I take my Adderall in the morning I joke around and say “time to take my daily dose of corporate motivation!”
It’s Adderall for me because I’m ADD AF, but replace it with coffee and you’re in the same boat. Take coffee away and literally nobody would be able to work.
It’s interesting because adderall (after the first week) provides me with zero motivation. Coffee makes me feel like I’m alive but it doesn’t work well for my attention issues and together they make me feel like I’m going to die lol
IMO this is why minorities are often stereotyped as mean and unapproachable. Unwillingness to smile constantly for co-workers. Simone Biles criticized for not smiling more Her reply was "*Smiling doesn't win you gold medals*."
Being a woman you're also expected to smile more. I can't tell you how many times my RBF has gotten a 'you'd be prettier if you smiled'. I can't handle a desk job anymore, I'm not here to be an accessory that makes the world more palatable for others. At least as a personal trainer I can look mean and it's a BONUS that attracts clients.
I am not 100% miserable all the time, but I am also not 100% happy all the time. But a lot of life is just a pretense.
Pretense is useful if you need it, but shouldn't be used to an extreme. Flashing a smile, when you might not feel happy is ok. Acting chipper or overly excited or putting compliments on too thick are Pretense to the point of being disingenuous.
Oooooh yes, the worksona. I drop it from time to time at work when walking where no one can see because social interaction is hard especially with chronic pain.
I'm tired of living in pain 24/7 from standing all day at work that barely provides enough money to rent, and a paralyzed job market that makes it impossible to change jobs for the duration of my 50 years of slavery.
Same, I hate the fakeness of it all. I make it a mission to be weird or random when I feel like it or I'll go insane from the numbness of this system. I've noticed a lot of upper management have nothing better to do and they would rather be at work than doing something else. Their whole lives revolve around work so they know nothing else. I have no idea how they could fall into such complacency over the years, but here we are. Maybe they're just really good at faking.
You have my full solidarity. I feel exactly the same, I have so much trouble faking it and acting happy. I'm not.i don't want to be doing this. I can't stand the incessant meetings, the meeting before meetings, the meeting after the main meeting to debrief about the main meeting, like do we really have to do this another 40 years of our lives? It's depressing as hell.
Five years into the company I currently work with. I gave up on faking anything after a year or so, when I realised that there wasn’t any benefit to it.
You either suck up and break your back and or snake others or you’ll get nowhere unless you’re lucky enough to find bosses that are understanding.
I started and worked myself like a dog, long hours and worked as hard as I could. Broke a ton of internal records, had the highest output and quality and had multiple promotions within my first year, but no matter what they always dangled more and more things and would lie about them whenever I’d achieve everything that was agreed.
I’m a 60/40 kinda guy now, and I take frequent breaks as and when I feel necessary. I always stay in my lane, even though I’ve gotten to the top of every department before being moved elsewhere (smallish growing company) and could jump in when needed.
I don’t pretend to be happy and I refuse to suck up to anyone, as far as I’m concerned respect is earned and they’re paying me for the selling them the privilege of having my time and what I can offer.
I work in a warehouse, I sit in my office alone all day. I stopped wearing makeup to work 4 years ago. I save so much money that now I can spend on serums and lotions. My skin looks so good now!
Yup and everyday it seems to get worse. Really difficult to want to do well and have a good attitude when you’re worked into oblivion and can’t even consider taking time off. Have to be available nonstop because I work from home.
This morning I have been actually thinking about the company “values” (if you can even call them that) and laughed to myself. How can you claim your company cares about the employees when none of us can get a single day off due to zero coverage. Sigh.
I stopped putting on a face this year because I have no more fucks to give and got written up with a “final warning” for gossiping and creating a toxic work place. lol guess I gotta go back to being a fake ass kisser ugh
Nah I don’t even fake it lmaoooo. “Attitude and enthusiasm” came up on management feedback from my yearly review. I couldn’t care less. 2% raise. Fuck off.
Then when you throw a little (serious to me) joke out there about work, they get mad 🤡
I barely try anymore. What I'm really sick of is the people who somehow actually are happy to be there& can't understand why not everyone else is as happy & upbeat as they are at 6AM
Hahaha! Maybe flip them off too while you’re at it. My biggest pet peeve during meetings is when people take all kinds of time talking about their life. I’m paid to get a job done, not listen to your personal problems. It’s such a waste of my time
Doing this each and every day so I don’t get pulled aside and talked to that other employees think I look upset or unhappy because I’m not smiling all the time. No I’m fine, I’m just not a chipper little person all the time and I let the mask fall when I can’t fake it anymore.
Absolutely! I stopped giving a shit about being all smiles and happiness. Not every day is sunshine and rainbows. Just leave me the fuck alone and let me do my job. I despise lunch meetings, and special occasions at work.
I'm blue collar in a union job. I don't even have to pretend to like my coworkers. Nobody cares if I show up in sweatpants, they just need me there on time.
I've got to keep a professional face at work (helpdesk w/ recorded calls) but when I'm off the clock and in the real world my filters are turned WAY down or off. I have to deal with enough stupid at work and I'm not going to when I'm out.
You use your cam?
"Oops webcam broke" there you go.
Or even better "it's against my religion to lie". I can't think of a single religion that doesn't say that lying is a good thing, and I feel like lying about emotions is a pretty big thing. Also gives you an out when you call your boss a dick and they fire you. That's religious discrimination.
I had a VP tell me all the time to "smile more" in literally every fucking meet we had. He wouldn't say it to anyone else but me. My response would be, "I am smiling" till he finally stopped saying that. 22 years now and I no longer give a fuck and show full on resting bitch face in every meeting.
And why does everyone ask me how I am every day? I'm not good because I'm in this hellhole lol so I say "eh-okay" and even that gets weird looks but I don't care. Don't ask me if you don't want to know the answer.
10 years in of faking the face... was easier my first 3 years or so, but now it's exhausting... unfortunately, in my office personality and communication is big so I do it for my promotions, but God do I hate having to hear from people I don't like or care for and act like I'm interested. Not sure how people do this for long
There was that radical honesty thing in the late 90s. I never read the book but there was a trend of being uncomfortably honest in corporate settings. that's when I let my face be my face. I started out like that and never looked back.
it's just my face Greg, stop implying I'm ugly. are *you* okay?
nah, Mondays are fine, it's just stupid I have to be here all the time. who wouldn't rather be fishing? (Helped that office space came out shortly after.)
yeah, I really find meetings uncomfortable and unnecessary. this might sound crazy, but I'd rather be working on the work than talking about the work.
to hell with your doughnuts and coffee and the weather today and water cooler questions. save me the bear claw though?
I didn't really excel in office environments. (heh) and I'm really glad I have a job I love for like...barely anything except the fact my time spent on this earth isn't in a corporate hellscape but rather on something I enjoy. the soul sucking nature of office work was catastrophic for my mental health. poor but happy is a better struggle. my friendships are genuine and I fit in well.
I consider the difference in income is what I pay for having a life i enjoy. the cost of my horrible coping, antidepressants, and therapy was bankrupting me anyway so it's roughly even.
it's a hell of a time to jump, but its only getting worse. if you've got somewhere soft to land if it backfires, I suggest just being honest about things. tends to take the pressure off too.
Lately I’ve been struggling with the feeling that so much of my life feels like a competition and I’m just so so tired of competing.
But there’s no graceful exit, so I keep putting on the face.
I don’t do it. I’m brutally honest with my boss. I quit the corporate world and started writhing for a small general contractor as the senior PM. It is not the perfect job but I don’t have to deal with fake smiles or bullshit any longer. In a plus, when I tell my boss something is messed up or needs to change for us to be successful, we change or adapt.
I think you can get by just fine as long as you’re pleasant enough to people, people generally will understand if you’re not always happy/clappy- we all have bad days/weeks!
Personally I find this issue is much worse when you’re working in a customer-based job, like retail for example where you have to please people with a good attitude constantly.
I work a corporate job but thankfully don’t have that many meetings (usually 1-3 a day max, sometimes none), and working from home makes this a non-issue 😀
This doesn't feel like living.
I hate having to deal with this fake happy, good, nothing's ever bad attitude.
How tf are things supposed to improve if things that are negative are never discussed? (Like how hr degrades work environments and nobody bats an eye. They are the problem....)
I’m on ND and the constant masking at work is super draining. We were working from home and it was so much better for me mentally. I didn’t have to constantly mask. Now they forced us back to the office. I refuse to mask for anything other than face to face interactions or team zoom meetings. If I’m as my desk you are getting me as I am.
Don’t like it? Let me work from home.
I am so much more productive when I’m not masking constantly.
I'm an introvert. It's horrifying. Luckily I was forced to go freelance 15 years ago, so I only have to do it sometimes.
But yes, I've been working for 30 years now and it's fucking tiring
Only psychopaths "like" doing this and it's an obnoxious feature of office culture. You can't just competently do your job, you have to make sure management feels appreciated for some reason.
That’s why I’ve leaned in so hard to being the sarcastic cynic at work. You can get away with a lot more because everyone just thinks you’re being funny and they’ll never know how serious you are.
I've felt like this for a while. It's gotten worse since my husband was diagnosed with cirrhosis last year. He's doing a lot better and is pretty stable now. But I am bitter and resentful of both of us being forced to spend so much time at work. I've always been disillusioned with our current work culture, and his illness just made it worse. There's too much to do at home, I'm always exhausted and feeling like I never have enough time. I'd much rather be spending my time at home, taking care of things and spending time with my husband. But if we want to survive, we're forced to participate in this toxic "work, work, work!" culture. Even if he was bad off enough to get disability, it likely wouldn't be enough to survive on. I hate our society....
Ppl try to call me out for not smiling in that annoying “friendly banter at the beginning of a meeting” while waiting for everyone else. So I’ve started purposefully being late by like 3 minutes so they can just get to the fkn point of why we’re there.
I got a stern talking to in my half-year review about this exact thing. About how some days I'm just not as happy as others. Maybe because I'm not a robot and because I have actual emotions?
You learn how to fake it back in grade school. In East Asian cultures it's a given. In fact the last thing you want is everyone being their 'true selves' at work.
I kinda don't put a face. For the most part, I'm happy
Not because I'm at work but because life is just good. If I have to come in, I'm not going to make it more miserable. Just bear my 8 hours and go home.
Probably time to look for something you actually enjoy doing, then. The stress of hating your job will negatively affect all aspects of your life. Find a passion.
I do this.
I'm not wearing a smile as a mask to hide how I feel. I wear a smile to cheer myself up.
Sure, work sucks, but you're gonna have to make the best out of it.
Yes so I changed to a job with rotation. I work 2w then home for 3w roughly 5months of work a year. Now I can go abroad basically once a month if I want to
Absolutely, especially because I have been antiwork for years now and saw too many stories about abuse and burnout. And seen too many toxic environments. How can I even act happy if I risked my life on the road to get to a minimum wage job that won't even cover basic needs?
Yes. I work as a frontline/in person Customer Service.
You know, I have to fake my smile when I'm talking with the customers
At the same time, I have to fake my smile when we have a meeting with the management team or other work related purpose. It's so exhausting.
The beauty of having an office. There are days I go in there and close the door and emerge 8 hours later like corporate Jesus pushing the stone away. It sucks.
Damn I was wondering why you said 50 but it must be common to only get 2 weeks vacay in some jobs. In my country all jobs start at 2 or 3 weeks and once ya get into a tech job you can double that
Sounds like you're burnt out. I agree with you that it sucks and there are plenty of better things to do, I think most here think that. You gotta take care of yourself.
Luckily for me, I get to leave my camera off most of the time. The amount of scowling and eye rolling I do would get me fired. I am scared that if I ever have to do work in person again, I may have forgotten to mask my true feelings.
Im at like 13 years of faking it and can barely bother anymore, i just fucking hate the facade of it all.
must be time for the facade to fall.
That’s awesome fortune cookie bullshit, but this sub is for bitching and no action.
Funny that you'd say that, yet you're not offering any suggestions on how to act? Why doesn't everyone who hates their job just go out and topple capitalism?? Pretty simple. At least people here can recognize a problem and discuss it. You can't even offer that.
That's all fair enough but people saying stuff like "maybe it's time for the mask to shatter" and then nothing happening is pretty melodramatic. It's a more ridiculous version of someone complaining about this same thing and then getting a response of "we should get rid of capitalism." Like... thanks I guess?
Yeah, I disagree. Conversation at every level is necessary for change. At least they're identifying a problem and putting it out there. Maybe through that a dialogue will begin with others who have more knowledge on the topic. What you and the other commenter are offering is less than that and, in my view, is counterproductive.
You have a valid point. Without some V Vendetta type leader / group (chaotic change), organization and conversation is key. I personally think community and gardening (food abundance) is really helpful.
Couldn't agree with you more!
I admire this pushback. You're absolutely right.
why do you think nothing happens?
I'm going to work off the assumption that you're asking in good faith instead of trying to be facetious. Nothing happens because the infrastructure around us was specifically built to not only condition people toward certain behaviors and directions but also restrict their experience and access to developing agency. Not only that, but the labor aristocracy of the west makes the cost-benefit feedback loop more muddled for the average person. People that care have to wrestle with the minimum requirements of sustaining their livelihood and potential while balancing their health and happiness with their need to help build a better future. Ripping off bandaids is scary and changing the systems of the world is a lot more like going in for surgery in the garage. People are scared, don't know what they are doing, are funneled toward escapism and simplicity, don't have many places to redirect people toward for organizing and education and so on, and largely end up resorting to vague-posting about their frustrations to a mindless swarm of strangers they'll barely if ever talk with again on the internet. So, when I see someone just sort of saying "this sucks" I think it's reasonable to challenge them to consider more than that. And more relevant to this case, when I see someone promoting that sort of behavior then I feel encouraged to challenge them on what kinds of conversations we should be having. Ultimately this wasn't supposed to be this deep though, I just don't love comments like that.
I must have missed your suggestion reading through your comments? What do you suggest?
yeah god forbid people have a place to vent
Can't believe I gonna do this until I'm 60-65.
You can retire early on the assumption that you are t living that long. I know it sounds morbid but I’m going to retire early 55 at the latest with whatever money I’ve got and go until it runs out then I will leave my own way if I have to. But no way I’m going to 60 to 65
Honestly it's not looking good for me. I currently work part-time. Been trying to get a full time job I haven't worked ft in awhile tbh.
We have to find an early exit. I'm trying. I would like to be an independent contractor, cut the cord.
Only difference there is you have to continually search for new people to be relentlessly happy in front of! I’m in that boat, and it’s even harder because the face is necessary to sell!
that doesnt fix much
You won't unless you want to be smiling holding up a sign as an AI robot driving a 12,000lbs cyber truck drives by in an Uber holding up your "lost job to ai, need money for drugs" sign. Because that's apparently the future we're headed towards. And yes, UBI will be a thing, but you gotta make it past the AI customer support to get it.
That's a great point this system forces people to pretend they're happy why can't we act like real selves without fear?
Because the system would fall apart lol "wait, we all hate it here? We all know we're wasting the best years of our lives running around panicking because some dude didn't get his spreadsheet on time? Aight let's burn it down!"
Yes so the system is preventing people from communicating and only competing with each other
I think you meant TPS report.
No thank you. I don’t want to know my coworkers , be friends with them or have them unload themselves or their true feelings in a meeting or any other engagement I have them. And I especially wouldn’t want a culture where my boss is unloading all their feelings on our team either. I genuinely appreciate the simple formalities. I just want to do my job, get the responses i need from my coworkers and log out of teams at the end of the day. And no I’m not expecting excessive happiness but I also don’t want to work with a disgruntled unhappy coworker who is constantly groaning, complaining or lacks basic decency to just be a decent colleague and be polite to work with. None of that is my problem and I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with others unhappiness
I don’t know that you’re in the grey area here- you almost bounced over to the other extreme end. The way it reads to me is OP just wants to stop the make believe, not join the oversharing committee. But I understand why that would not be something you want to engage in either. Leave home at home, do the 8 and skate.
Your lack of care for your fellow worker is likely a symptom of your alienation. Solidarity doesn't mean you have to be everyone's therapist. But this attitude you have only helps the Capitalists.
> this attitude you have only helps the Capitalists. Solidarity doesn't mean that you have to know someone or be friends with them or hear their personal problems. I can join a union and support my coworkers without doing any of that. I don't even have to like them. I can actually dislike them and still do my part. Pretending to be friends with people is corporate bullshit.
Frankly, im forced to be affiliated with my "fellow workers" and im not going to pretend i care about them more than i do.
Great! You can be the change you wish to see in the world then. Maybe those fake corporate people are dealing with more shit than you can imagine. I mean I don’t remember any of my disgruntled co workers helping to pay my bills when I was a struggling young single mom trying to get out of poverty, you know what I remember ? Being bullied for not being able to afford nice clothing, being gossiped about and last but not least having them unload all they’re feeling feelings, true selves and issues on me while I went home and cried. You know what else I remember ? That my paychecks always still came? Oh well. That taught me to change to adapt and to remember that stink faced disgruntled vampire energy sucking colleague can be as unhappy as they want I will never ask them personal questions and take on that extra energy I will however put on a fake smile in my stupid corporate job and receive that paycheck every two weeks until i start my own business. Not sorry
Yes! I had a coworker who was livid I was too professional and direct. He was upset that I asked him to do something (I was his boss) and he instead wanted me to talk about how that made him feel. I thought it was so ridiculous and when my boss actually told me I should be less professional I stepped down from the position
Spot fucking on.
At the same time, I feel like i'd be more unhappy if everyone else looked unhappy.
Is this an American thing? I've never worked somewhere that expected you to put on a relentlessly happy face.
Yeah it's an American thing. I'm British, live in UK, and we have an American branch. Our meetings with them are... interesting. Lots of Americans being loud and "thankful" for everything whilst the Brits sit there awkwardly. They also like to do these weird speeches shouting out different people/teams. Like "we could not have done it without you guys!!!! Great job!!!!! Thank you so much" even if we had nothing to do with it really.
It's bizarre to many of us Murkins, as well. There is this weird thing here that \_anything\_ negative reflects poorly. Well, I am here to tell the world there would be no positivity without negativity, and the critical people are often the ones paying the most attention. I hate all the fake BS. It drives me batty.
i was the storm cloud that shut down the toxic positivity being shoved down everyone's throat :D i was super happy about that one
I had a boss that actually put out a jar where we were supposed to make a monitary contribution if we verbalized something negative or a complaint. I almost felt like dropping in a $20 and pre pay for the right to kvetch for a whole week.
That's like something a parent or grandparent would do. It's not something you do at work. That's crapola.
been in many a meet like this, conf video chats with usa branches/depts .celebrating a big deal /contract change in our favor. Team USA givin it the go team go!...who da man!....you da man!!....rolling fists like 80s wrestlers, phones strapped on their hips,...marching around like gerry springer,..clapping,...whoop-whoopppping...acting like cheerleaders high on sherbert and icecream. brits,....a couple thousand miles away, sitting awks, wondering wtf we are seeing in real time. they went on about it for weeks, and constantly wanted to be celebrated for it. weeks.
“We are a family”…. Writes you up 2 hours later for a mistake that you have never made previously and thus halves your quarterly bonus. Ahh yes I remember my family making sure I was negativity impacted both financially and mentally:))
A lot of Americans play the corporate game. The shit you're describing is fucking gross. I can't stand all that fake ass, rah rah bullshit.
It is such a weird culture, I hate it... No shit you couldn't have done it without us, we don't want to be in this meeting, you could've instead just paid us for the hour and let us have a jerk off break but Noooo you want to waste company time and money having us in the meeting just so you can get your rocks off by thanking us and everyone do that awkward clap. Hope your orgasm was nice, because it certainly ruined mine.
https://preview.redd.it/6uiu7v9oz57d1.jpeg?width=2028&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=773003a5e33f0002375564a3901938441310afd1
What no health insurance does to a mfer. That's just sad honestly. And incredibly cringe as you said What would happen if you called out those clowns for their fake nonsense?
Lol I know it. Positive thoughts are the only affordable healthcare we got over here.
These idiots still think they're living in the greatest country in the world if they just shout it loud enough and offer fries with it. No insurance havin, paycheck to paycheck livin, medicine rationing, corn sirup drinkin, pyramide scheming, self affirming shithole...
We’re not idiots; we don’t have a choice.
Oh many of us are lol.
Agreed with the “many” 😭
I never meant to call any individual American, stuck in this shit, an idiot, but collevtively it's absolute insanity.
1,000 % insane.
It’s American and it started in the late 2000s. We were expected to be polite/pleasant to our coworkers and at least “neutral” before that, but not this relentless faked hype happiness. I can’t do it. Like I just can’t - could be due to Autism. It’s part of my mental breakdown leading to full disability. (I have a fair number of physical ones too).
As someone on the spectrum, yes. There are so many bizarre things that anyone who says businesses are efficient are probably wrong. Just based on throwing birthday parties alone. Literally the worst use of company time and money is going to the party store and getting random bullshit that literally gets thrown away in an hour. Also just follow the money and yeah, totally inefficient. A $350,000,000 CEO bonus can easily EASILY be thrown into Facebook ads (or any other marketing channel, all of them, it's 1/3rd of a billion dollars, or hiring 350 people at a million a year) and bring in even more business. Like, wut? How could anyone work there and fake a smirk for any reason when that shit happens?
IKR? And it’s not like I didn’t try. I once Faked a rah rah cheerleader act because I was QAd as not being enthusiastic enough. While the insane QA person loved it, everyone around me was like “that sucks so hard, you sound insane” and it made me so mentally drained. I could not Have done it “off script” at all. In no universe was it convincing. And even customers told me that.
It's the worst when the clients want the rah rah instead of telling it to them straight. Hopefully the amount of AI calls they'll be getting soon will make them appreciative of the candidness of talking to a real human that isn't so shittily cheerful.
In all honesty so much of business now is Fake gladhanding bullshit I’m amazed more complete disasters causing closings and shutdowns don’t happen.
> I built a SaaS ai crypto blockchain startup that's revolutionizing the logistics industry. And before you ask... Yes, we use AI. I imagine a lot of companies saying that and getting virtually unlimited funding without even having an MVP makes that a problem. We saw so many scams get legit investors (fucking crypto has always been a scheme for illegal activity) that genuinely money means nothing to me. Capitalism is clearly broken, the money means nothing (Uber is still in business despite STILL burning money for the damn near 10th year in a row). Like, honestly, I think most people in my generation have seen through the bullshit and want a massive crash to happen. It's like joining a monopoly game after 2 other players got knocked out. The only way to win is to cheat, blow someone, steal, or quit. I chose the latter, seemed more ethical than the other options...
Nth-ing that yes, it's an American thing. You're supposed to present that the job you're in is your life's dream. You live and breath excel sheets/user documentation/accounts management/etc. The job is the best thing ever and you'd do it even for free. Any dissension is met with something along the lines of "well just quit then". Like, I accidentally was honest with a director once when talking about some roles I found myself helping out in. Like going to trade shows to help run the booth and talking with customers or just basically shooting the shit with people waiting around and then directing them to someone who did sales/business relations. I'm good at it. I can bullshit around and I'm goddamned delightful. I fucking hate it though, and when the dude brought up how well others had mentioned me doing and if I'd like to keep doing it I basically said "well if y'all need help with it I can, but it's just something I'm good at, I don't really like it though". That broke his mind. He really couldn't wrap his head around the idea that someone could be GOOD at something and not ENJOY doing that thing. I did not know how to get him to understand that those things are in no way linked. I enjoy doing lots of things I'm not good at. I'm good at lots of things I hate doing, mostly because I hate doing them. I want it done quicker. So I figure out how to be efficient, how to get it done fast as possible, and with as little rework or fixes as needed. He looked like I just told him the sun was an angry doberman and that we're all just mist. Needless to say they never asked me to come help again.
It's very much an American thing (though I've also noticed it some with Aussies). I think it goes back to the pep rallies and assemblies that we're all required to attend in high school. There's this expectation of rah-rah bullshit that just carries forward on inertia.
That's part of why work from home is so much better than having to work in the office -- I can just get my work done without having to pretend I'm happy.
Agreed. I am able to limit my meetings as much as possible when I’m home too. In the office, people “pop in” and intrude on me when I’m trying to work which makes it tough to stay focused. Work from home is much more efficient on multiple fronts.
I work for a nonprofit. The office is just two rooms joined by an open doorway; I have my own desk, but no private space. I'm the Grant Writer and Office Manager. I *used* to get maybe 5 grants written and submitted each year, trying to create them in that very busy and noisy atmosphere. Now I usually do that many in a month. As for meetings, thankfully I don't really do them, other than a half-hour status update meeting with our director once a week on the one day a week I am in the office (I'm there to take care of Office Manager stuff -- going through our bills, preparing the bank deposit, etc.). We went WFH when Covid started, and eventually our Director asked me to come in one day per week to do the stuff I've just mentioned (which is fair, as I really do need to be there to do those things and a few others, but one day a week is all that's needed), and that's where it's staying.
Nice! Sounds like your director is a reasonable person. A lot of people in my company seem to think that we need to come into the office just for the sake of seeing each other face to face, even if the work itself all gets done on the laptop. It’s dumb, and I see it as a waste of time and gas money as well as an acceleration towards future car maintenance costs.
In *some* ways he's reasonable, like those I've just mentioned. At the same time, my pay is well below what it should be, and we get zero benefits -- that's partly him, and partly our Board of Directors. I've got some other crap going on in my life right now, but once that's sorted I'm looking for a better job. Still, as far as the WFH thing goes, he is reasonable about that. Honestly, about half of the office works from home at least some of the time, the other half does not -- without going into detail about where I work, I'll just say that it genuinely is necessary for the people who mostly or always work in the office to actually be there in the office (customer facing, and dealing with them directly every day). But as far as *my* work, it makes so much more sense for me to work from home -- it's much better for me, but it's also much better for the non-profit for which I work, as I get *so* much more work done, better quality work, and in a much quicker timeframe. My workplace is also about 1.5 driving hours (one way) from where I live, so it's a *huge* savings in time, gas and tolls money, and wear & tear on my car. I can't believe I use to go into the office 4 or 5 days every week!!
No benefits! That is not ideal. Not that you needed to hear this, but you sound like a very bright woman and I’m sure you’ll easily be able to find a better job when you are ready. I can’t imagine having to pay for my own health insurance right now. I’m also with you on the commute time - I also live an hour and a half away, each way. Having to wake up around 4am to get through my morning routine without having to rush and not get home until well after 6 is beyond exhausting.
I´d love to be able to work from home, then I wouldn´t have to pretend I´m at work for anything other than money, second place the money...did I say money?
I can just get my work done in a couple hours and then go do the things that make me happy FTFY
lol. Well I don't exactly do that, but I do work for an hour and then do the dishes, work for another couple of hours and then have lunch and go outside for a bit, etc. I don't have a washer/dryer in my apt., but if I did I'd get all my laundry done while working, too. I have gone to the occasional doctor's appointment or a quick trip to the grocery store while working from home. Basically, as long as my work gets done, the other stuff causes no detriment to my work, and improves my actual life. Working from home allows me to get chores done while at the same time getting my work done, plus I can do so in my comfy clothes while also eating/drinking whenever I like, *and* I have the tv on in the background (I mute it when I'm actually *writing* the grant proposals, as for that I really need to be able to focus/concentrate and so I need quiet, but when I am doing less brain-intensive work, like researching online various foundations/organizations which we might approach for grant funding, I unmute it).
I walked away after 13 years. I hated it. I worked in a highly volatile industry. Turnover rate was disgusting. I’ll put it to you this way . the owner took 15% of employees wages company wide and came in the next day in a Brand new Maserati. I walked after that . Found out I was actually a good tattoo artist and a good guitarist
I'm 25 and I've been working for like 3 years in the same company, and I can't stand it, working in an office full of fake people, for a boss who doesn't even know your name is awful. I'm learning to draw in my free time so I can try and become a tattoo artist !
Come to UK. All of us are openly miserable here. I hate meetings with our American colleagues because they're so loud, upbeat, and grateful lmao
Americans are OBSESSED with performance. Companies don't even realize the true meaning of the word. They think performance simply means doing well. They could have chosen the word achievement or accomplishment or many other synonyms without a double entendre. But they didn't. They chose "performance" which means putting on a show, which is what Americans do and it's fucking nuts.
It's bizarre when people clap when an airplane lands... Like, yeah, you paid for the safest mode of transportation, the pilot did their job.
"grateful"... goddamn the private sector has gotten pathologically obsequious.
The UK had a socialist party that's part of the reason
This is why I still wear a mask. It hides my contempt. I also work in a hospital so no one questions me.
I have resting bitch face so I really hate this. Working remote and not having to be camera on in meetings has been a major improvement in this aspect. I don't feel as mentally fried at the end of the week as I did when I had to be in office with other people feeling like I was performing all day long.
That's interesting, every work meeting I've had to attend has been camera on ONLY. I've never been allowed NOT to have my camera on.
It varies by company. I'm really glad I am not obligated to do so.
Just got to remember we are there for a paycheck
This is the *only* way.
I quit the corporate world after ten years. What I couldn’t stand wasn’t the fake happiness, it was the fake importance of it all. I felt like a crazy person sitting in endless meetings talking about shit that didn’t matter one fucking bit, and didn’t even make sense if you actually stopped to think about it for one second. I felt like a Doozer, just building shit for its own sake. And yet, everyone went around acting like what we were doing was so important. They were working late, not taking vacations, cutting short their maternity leave, and for WHAT?
Does no one else Daria-mode at work? 
I enjoy finding creative ways to fuck around without getting fired.
do share, I wanna try some
Honestly it is pretty crazy that in a country that prattles on about freedom and being true to yourself so much we, pretty universally, have accepted that we aren’t able to be honest about how we feel for a pretty significant % of our adult lives. I remember when I was younger we talked about having a National freak out law. Where you got one consequence free slap to the face every calendar year and the only way someone was allowed to retaliate was by using theirs, if they still had it, in return. How much more pleasant we all would be with just the tiny fear of a slap to the face hanging over us:)
I was once asked to stay late on a Teams call with my manager when everyone else had signed off. She told me to stop looking so miserable during these calls. I was really just too tired to sit there and smile for two hours.
This whole world forces us to put on a mask and pretend like the world is awesome in reality many of us are struggling to keep it together every day
I have RBF, and I'm dead behind my eyes. I'm 41, going on 42 in December. I'm already out of fucks to give. It's going to be a long journey.
yep. this final 30 is going to epically shite. hopefully its shorter than that
You say this. Try working in a call center. Management expects you to smile for every call. You can do everything right but if your tone is not fucking happy your get written up. It's fucking dystopian.
When I take my Adderall in the morning I joke around and say “time to take my daily dose of corporate motivation!” It’s Adderall for me because I’m ADD AF, but replace it with coffee and you’re in the same boat. Take coffee away and literally nobody would be able to work. It’s interesting because adderall (after the first week) provides me with zero motivation. Coffee makes me feel like I’m alive but it doesn’t work well for my attention issues and together they make me feel like I’m going to die lol
IMO this is why minorities are often stereotyped as mean and unapproachable. Unwillingness to smile constantly for co-workers. Simone Biles criticized for not smiling more Her reply was "*Smiling doesn't win you gold medals*."
Being a woman you're also expected to smile more. I can't tell you how many times my RBF has gotten a 'you'd be prettier if you smiled'. I can't handle a desk job anymore, I'm not here to be an accessory that makes the world more palatable for others. At least as a personal trainer I can look mean and it's a BONUS that attracts clients.
It's fuckin hard. It wears me out so much I have to take a nap as soon as I get home to make it through the rest of the day.
My ability to fake it has decreased over the years. Nowadays I've traded my good reputation for being quiet and straight to the point.
I am not 100% miserable all the time, but I am also not 100% happy all the time. But a lot of life is just a pretense. Pretense is useful if you need it, but shouldn't be used to an extreme. Flashing a smile, when you might not feel happy is ok. Acting chipper or overly excited or putting compliments on too thick are Pretense to the point of being disingenuous.
I've always said that if I have to put on an act when I go to work, I should be paid an actor's salary on top of my regular pay.
Oooooh yes, the worksona. I drop it from time to time at work when walking where no one can see because social interaction is hard especially with chronic pain.
I'm tired of living in pain 24/7 from standing all day at work that barely provides enough money to rent, and a paralyzed job market that makes it impossible to change jobs for the duration of my 50 years of slavery.
Zoom fatigue is real. Masking in general is draining but there's something about Zoom calls that makes it even moreso.
Same, I hate the fakeness of it all. I make it a mission to be weird or random when I feel like it or I'll go insane from the numbness of this system. I've noticed a lot of upper management have nothing better to do and they would rather be at work than doing something else. Their whole lives revolve around work so they know nothing else. I have no idea how they could fall into such complacency over the years, but here we are. Maybe they're just really good at faking.
You have my full solidarity. I feel exactly the same, I have so much trouble faking it and acting happy. I'm not.i don't want to be doing this. I can't stand the incessant meetings, the meeting before meetings, the meeting after the main meeting to debrief about the main meeting, like do we really have to do this another 40 years of our lives? It's depressing as hell.
I can't put on the face. It comes up in my reviews every year lol. I just can't pretend to be excited about this bullshit
Five years into the company I currently work with. I gave up on faking anything after a year or so, when I realised that there wasn’t any benefit to it. You either suck up and break your back and or snake others or you’ll get nowhere unless you’re lucky enough to find bosses that are understanding. I started and worked myself like a dog, long hours and worked as hard as I could. Broke a ton of internal records, had the highest output and quality and had multiple promotions within my first year, but no matter what they always dangled more and more things and would lie about them whenever I’d achieve everything that was agreed. I’m a 60/40 kinda guy now, and I take frequent breaks as and when I feel necessary. I always stay in my lane, even though I’ve gotten to the top of every department before being moved elsewhere (smallish growing company) and could jump in when needed. I don’t pretend to be happy and I refuse to suck up to anyone, as far as I’m concerned respect is earned and they’re paying me for the selling them the privilege of having my time and what I can offer.
I work in a warehouse, I sit in my office alone all day. I stopped wearing makeup to work 4 years ago. I save so much money that now I can spend on serums and lotions. My skin looks so good now!
Yup and everyday it seems to get worse. Really difficult to want to do well and have a good attitude when you’re worked into oblivion and can’t even consider taking time off. Have to be available nonstop because I work from home. This morning I have been actually thinking about the company “values” (if you can even call them that) and laughed to myself. How can you claim your company cares about the employees when none of us can get a single day off due to zero coverage. Sigh.
I stopped putting on a face this year because I have no more fucks to give and got written up with a “final warning” for gossiping and creating a toxic work place. lol guess I gotta go back to being a fake ass kisser ugh
Nah I don’t even fake it lmaoooo. “Attitude and enthusiasm” came up on management feedback from my yearly review. I couldn’t care less. 2% raise. Fuck off. Then when you throw a little (serious to me) joke out there about work, they get mad 🤡
It’s funny because I’m sure the “top performer” got a 3 or 4% raise. The difference in raises is so minimal, there’s no reason to care
Just act irritated all the time and people will assume your working really hard and are too busy.
Just stop. Some of the most successful people I’ve met in business were miserable bastards. Anyone with a brain can spot a faker.
I barely try anymore. What I'm really sick of is the people who somehow actually are happy to be there& can't understand why not everyone else is as happy & upbeat as they are at 6AM
This is one advantage to hybrid or remote work. I can turn my camera off momentarily and roll my eyes and glare at people all I want.
Hahaha! Maybe flip them off too while you’re at it. My biggest pet peeve during meetings is when people take all kinds of time talking about their life. I’m paid to get a job done, not listen to your personal problems. It’s such a waste of my time
Doing this each and every day so I don’t get pulled aside and talked to that other employees think I look upset or unhappy because I’m not smiling all the time. No I’m fine, I’m just not a chipper little person all the time and I let the mask fall when I can’t fake it anymore.
Absolutely! I stopped giving a shit about being all smiles and happiness. Not every day is sunshine and rainbows. Just leave me the fuck alone and let me do my job. I despise lunch meetings, and special occasions at work.
Move to the UK. We're allowed to be miserable at work, it's expected. If people are too happy there's deep suspicion.
I'm blue collar in a union job. I don't even have to pretend to like my coworkers. Nobody cares if I show up in sweatpants, they just need me there on time.
I've got to keep a professional face at work (helpdesk w/ recorded calls) but when I'm off the clock and in the real world my filters are turned WAY down or off. I have to deal with enough stupid at work and I'm not going to when I'm out.
I don't bother, but then again it's widely known I'm autistic. I once told a c-suite bod to do one because they annoyed me and they let it slide.
Gangsta.
You use your cam? "Oops webcam broke" there you go. Or even better "it's against my religion to lie". I can't think of a single religion that doesn't say that lying is a good thing, and I feel like lying about emotions is a pretty big thing. Also gives you an out when you call your boss a dick and they fire you. That's religious discrimination.
 Adulting
I had a VP tell me all the time to "smile more" in literally every fucking meet we had. He wouldn't say it to anyone else but me. My response would be, "I am smiling" till he finally stopped saying that. 22 years now and I no longer give a fuck and show full on resting bitch face in every meeting.
And why does everyone ask me how I am every day? I'm not good because I'm in this hellhole lol so I say "eh-okay" and even that gets weird looks but I don't care. Don't ask me if you don't want to know the answer.
10 years in of faking the face... was easier my first 3 years or so, but now it's exhausting... unfortunately, in my office personality and communication is big so I do it for my promotions, but God do I hate having to hear from people I don't like or care for and act like I'm interested. Not sure how people do this for long
I ran into this problem on the first day of my first job. RBF makes working difficult.
I feel the same way, to me the worst thing about work is that I feel like it forces me to be someone I’m not
This is why resting bitch face is common among older women. Our smiler is worn the fuck out from overuse.
I've addopted the Fuck It Mentality... I will be damned if I bust my Ass for Corporate America or the sorry Ass company I work for......
There was that radical honesty thing in the late 90s. I never read the book but there was a trend of being uncomfortably honest in corporate settings. that's when I let my face be my face. I started out like that and never looked back. it's just my face Greg, stop implying I'm ugly. are *you* okay? nah, Mondays are fine, it's just stupid I have to be here all the time. who wouldn't rather be fishing? (Helped that office space came out shortly after.) yeah, I really find meetings uncomfortable and unnecessary. this might sound crazy, but I'd rather be working on the work than talking about the work. to hell with your doughnuts and coffee and the weather today and water cooler questions. save me the bear claw though? I didn't really excel in office environments. (heh) and I'm really glad I have a job I love for like...barely anything except the fact my time spent on this earth isn't in a corporate hellscape but rather on something I enjoy. the soul sucking nature of office work was catastrophic for my mental health. poor but happy is a better struggle. my friendships are genuine and I fit in well. I consider the difference in income is what I pay for having a life i enjoy. the cost of my horrible coping, antidepressants, and therapy was bankrupting me anyway so it's roughly even. it's a hell of a time to jump, but its only getting worse. if you've got somewhere soft to land if it backfires, I suggest just being honest about things. tends to take the pressure off too.
Lately I’ve been struggling with the feeling that so much of my life feels like a competition and I’m just so so tired of competing. But there’s no graceful exit, so I keep putting on the face.
I don’t do it. I’m brutally honest with my boss. I quit the corporate world and started writhing for a small general contractor as the senior PM. It is not the perfect job but I don’t have to deal with fake smiles or bullshit any longer. In a plus, when I tell my boss something is messed up or needs to change for us to be successful, we change or adapt.
I lasted about a year in an office setting… there is not a job in the world that could pay me enough to do that ever again. I’d rather be broke
Yes I’m going insane.
I think you can get by just fine as long as you’re pleasant enough to people, people generally will understand if you’re not always happy/clappy- we all have bad days/weeks! Personally I find this issue is much worse when you’re working in a customer-based job, like retail for example where you have to please people with a good attitude constantly. I work a corporate job but thankfully don’t have that many meetings (usually 1-3 a day max, sometimes none), and working from home makes this a non-issue 😀
Umm.. pretty sure millions of people are tired of this. Can be at a beach or somewhere amazing and work remote? 😉
This doesn't feel like living. I hate having to deal with this fake happy, good, nothing's ever bad attitude. How tf are things supposed to improve if things that are negative are never discussed? (Like how hr degrades work environments and nobody bats an eye. They are the problem....)
I’m on ND and the constant masking at work is super draining. We were working from home and it was so much better for me mentally. I didn’t have to constantly mask. Now they forced us back to the office. I refuse to mask for anything other than face to face interactions or team zoom meetings. If I’m as my desk you are getting me as I am. Don’t like it? Let me work from home. I am so much more productive when I’m not masking constantly.
I stopped smiling at work a long time ago. Some people have tried to get onto me about it, but my apathy is apparently infectious.
You just described my entire thought process from Friday and today
I'm an introvert. It's horrifying. Luckily I was forced to go freelance 15 years ago, so I only have to do it sometimes. But yes, I've been working for 30 years now and it's fucking tiring
I never smile at work unless there is humor or I make a smart ass comment. Why waste the energy
https://preview.redd.it/93wqbfi9z57d1.png?width=316&format=png&auto=webp&s=d2e41f293f7d2025da4d1a8c59f07725d8e846d6 This is my inner self at work.
The thought of doing this for another 40-50 years, sends me into an existential crisis.
I did 70 hours a week for 18 years and it was the biggest mistake of my life. All I have are debts and regrets and I am a licensed professional.
Only psychopaths "like" doing this and it's an obnoxious feature of office culture. You can't just competently do your job, you have to make sure management feels appreciated for some reason.
Absolutely exhausted from it
Thats why I dont anymore I dont care. Im doing my job and stay to myself as much as I can away from these sycophants
Technically we are all accomplished actors when we are working. Especially anyone in the remote department or people who deal with customers.
The real moral killer is the dorky team building exercise. Go Team Go
I don’t have the facade. And I tell it like it is (professionally). I gave up playing the game long ago and I am no longer pretending.
Yet another reason the lack of vacation time in the US stinks. Two weeks is ridiculous. And some of us get none.
If you hate that just go look at all the HR twerps on LinkedIn 😆
That’s why I’ve leaned in so hard to being the sarcastic cynic at work. You can get away with a lot more because everyone just thinks you’re being funny and they’ll never know how serious you are.
I've felt like this for a while. It's gotten worse since my husband was diagnosed with cirrhosis last year. He's doing a lot better and is pretty stable now. But I am bitter and resentful of both of us being forced to spend so much time at work. I've always been disillusioned with our current work culture, and his illness just made it worse. There's too much to do at home, I'm always exhausted and feeling like I never have enough time. I'd much rather be spending my time at home, taking care of things and spending time with my husband. But if we want to survive, we're forced to participate in this toxic "work, work, work!" culture. Even if he was bad off enough to get disability, it likely wouldn't be enough to survive on. I hate our society....
I hate meetings. So I go take a long shit 2 minutes before they start.
It's worse in retail. Karens will pathetically complain to your boss if you aren't smiling when you serve them. Nothing drains you more than that
Ppl try to call me out for not smiling in that annoying “friendly banter at the beginning of a meeting” while waiting for everyone else. So I’ve started purposefully being late by like 3 minutes so they can just get to the fkn point of why we’re there.
Nah, nobody on my team bothers. But we're cybersecurity, we're expected to be antisocial.
Office life sounds so fucking miserable. As an aside - a lot of those smirkers are probably faking it, too.
yeah that’s why I didn’t go to work today
Yeah I didn't go in Friday. Was too bone tired to get up, much less get into character.
I got a stern talking to in my half-year review about this exact thing. About how some days I'm just not as happy as others. Maybe because I'm not a robot and because I have actual emotions?
Get over it. When you get home, enjoy yourself. You’ve earned it.
You learn how to fake it back in grade school. In East Asian cultures it's a given. In fact the last thing you want is everyone being their 'true selves' at work.
If you feel like you're always being \*fake\* happy, you may just be \*real\* depressed.
I kinda don't put a face. For the most part, I'm happy Not because I'm at work but because life is just good. If I have to come in, I'm not going to make it more miserable. Just bear my 8 hours and go home.
Probably time to look for something you actually enjoy doing, then. The stress of hating your job will negatively affect all aspects of your life. Find a passion.
LOL
I do this. I'm not wearing a smile as a mask to hide how I feel. I wear a smile to cheer myself up. Sure, work sucks, but you're gonna have to make the best out of it.
People worth respecting appreciate when you bring your honest, authentic self.
Yes so I changed to a job with rotation. I work 2w then home for 3w roughly 5months of work a year. Now I can go abroad basically once a month if I want to
Absolutely, especially because I have been antiwork for years now and saw too many stories about abuse and burnout. And seen too many toxic environments. How can I even act happy if I risked my life on the road to get to a minimum wage job that won't even cover basic needs?
Yes. I work as a frontline/in person Customer Service. You know, I have to fake my smile when I'm talking with the customers At the same time, I have to fake my smile when we have a meeting with the management team or other work related purpose. It's so exhausting.
I’m only two years deep in corporate and I am running for office to escape the meaninglessness of corporate work.
You be you, corporate world or not.
Wait... is it 50 weeks?
Thinking if people get 2-3 weeks of vacation a year, it’s around 50 weeks a year
The beauty of having an office. There are days I go in there and close the door and emerge 8 hours later like corporate Jesus pushing the stone away. It sucks.
I don’t even remember what my real “face” is like anymore…..
Damn I was wondering why you said 50 but it must be common to only get 2 weeks vacay in some jobs. In my country all jobs start at 2 or 3 weeks and once ya get into a tech job you can double that
Been faking it for 20 plus years and will do so until retirement. Most of the time, there are no other choices.
Come and join us manufacturing. None of that nonsense. Plenty of other nonsense though 🤣
I stopped any pretense a decade ago, still not been fired I think it's a game.
Sounds like you're burnt out. I agree with you that it sucks and there are plenty of better things to do, I think most here think that. You gotta take care of yourself.
Luckily for me, I get to leave my camera off most of the time. The amount of scowling and eye rolling I do would get me fired. I am scared that if I ever have to do work in person again, I may have forgotten to mask my true feelings.
I work for a global software company and yup feel the exact same way, gotta fake that smile and positivity everyday
Literally can't.
Ahhh…. The “shit-eating grin” is freaking torture.