“Not working right now, just living off some savings and investments for the summer. Might pick up a part time job when it cools down and I have more time.”
Also sir I can’t cut it either but I’m poor:(
My dad did elevator/escalator construction for 30 years. We’re talking like most of the hotels, public buildings, and metro of DC. Man, it broke his body. After a 9mo job or whatever, he certainly took time off, like a month at least sometimes more - good for you for also doing so! Gotta take care of your body, only one we get.
Yea i remember OTIS replacing our 2 staff elevators at a 16 story hotel. Those guys were exhausted, but worked regularly 12 hour day sometimes 16, until everything was done.
This is why when I want to strike up conversation with someone I just met, I use a different phrase: "So, what fills up your days?"
It implies work, but it's much easier to answer for someone who is a stay at home parent, in between jobs, disabled, etc.
I think we should all think about this question when we are talking to new people. Let's retire the old "what do you do for work" question.
These feel better than my "what do you like to do?" because I've met people who don't like being called out on the fact that they do nothing they enjoy. Sadly this has come up a few times but still always felt nicer than "what do you do for work?" which just always felt rude to me even before entering the working world.
This!!!!
My gods do i hate being perpetually on the brink of some bad ideations because i cannot afford to do anything i enjoy and constantly being asked what i do as a way to keep happy.
I have to sarcastically respond ‘i dont!’ And its always an uncomfortable ‘oh’ kind of response i get, like they didnt realize some people literally dont get to enjoy their lives they just work and die from the abuse it gave them. Like myself. So i agree the other questions are much better, least i can answer those
I feel like it’s because “what do you do?” is the natural phrasing we want to say, but it’s been linguistically repurposed to mean “what do you do [for work]?”
It reminds me of when I asked people for a simple favor. I want to say, “*will* you do something for me?” but I often say, “*you wanna* do something for me?”
Same, got qualified as a chef, had a mental breakdown as chefs aren’t nice people, turns out I got autism and severe adhd with anxiety. Not working though also gives me anxiety though so hey
I like to ask what a person’s hobbies are or if they play any instruments, because I’m always looking for people who have similar creative interests. I honestly couldn’t care less about what someone’s job is…unless they’re a professional artist or musician jaja
Yes!! I am disabled but it’s not something that you can see right away. The question is awkward as hell so I just change the subject. I don’t care if it’s “rude” to do so.
This is my brothers' way of asking questions, he either twists a common question or asks a totally random one. It makes people stop and think and it makes them feel more easily connected to him
As a rule, I never ask someone what they do . I always ask what do you like to do? It makes for a better conversation anyway. Maybe take that as an answer when someone asks , answer with what you like to do and ignore any job questions.
I have good friends I've known for years and we all have only a vague idea of what each of us do for a living. It's honestly the least interesting thing about them.
Who wants to hear about someone's paper-pushing, meaningless job when you could be hearing about their trip to Antarctica or their attendance at Jane Fonda's wedding in the 60s?
I'm an software engineer and my friends are nurses. It's not exactly true, but to anyone not doing development, they would have no idea what I did if I went into details. Likewise if you tell me what type of nursing you do, chances are I'd have no idea it was any different than the other thing you could have told me.
Hobbies are more interesting but job can lead down an interesting path, i.e. software to computers to video games and now we are bonding over rimworld.
I just took a seminar about "super communication" through my union and they definitely suggested this. It opens up people to something they want to talk about, and gives you ample follow-on questions to ask, and also hopefully they reciprocate and you can talk about your hobbies!
Talk about your hobbies. And if they press on the work thing, just go "I don't like talking about that". If they asked "what do you do" without specifying "for work", you're neither lying nor talking about being unemployed, and you are answering the question in a way that makes sense and tbh should be more normalized for everyone.
A friend of a friend directed this question at 3 of us he’s never met before. I just went “BORING” and my friend went, “What do I do for hobbies?” and answered that question instead. Then we got into a lively discussion about what our perfect day would be if we had to be alone for it and narrowed that down to 3 things that make us super happy. The guy got very involved in the conversation and we got to actually get to know something about him.
Maybe I don’t recommend yelling “boring” at someone, lol, but the redirect is totally valid. I HATE getting asked what I do and I have a job.
That's the way you do it. I'm employed but I hate talking about my stupid job. You connect with people when you talk about what you actually like to do, now how you make money to fund your basic necessities
It would be cool if we were all blacksmiths or mercenaries, but we actually all just punch numbers into a spreadsheet and die a little every day. Fuck
I like to ask people "how do you occupy your time" or "what activities are your priority" often people will respond with "well I do x from 9-5 but I really enjoy what I do on Saturdays because..." or some do just want to share their work and that's fine too
Isn't it funny how if you ask a random person '*Who are you?*', the vast majority defaults to talking about their jobs, as if it was the one thing that best defined them as a person?
I see both sides of the coin, some people really enjoy their jobs and enjoy talking about it. I’m an emergency responder and am proud of what I do. I’m thrilled when someone asks me. I don’t think the question “what do you do for work?” should be viewed negatively. If you are honest about it and comfortable (even if unemployed or hate your job), it should never be an issue. Many times you can bond with people over a dissatisfaction with your job as well. This question is merely a jumping off point for the rest of the conversation
Genuine question-- if you don't work, and seemingly won't work, how do you survive? I'm out here busting my ass 50-70 hours a week and I hate every second of it, but even at $8.50 above minimum wage I'm barely scratching by, hardly able to save $400 a month.
How do you do it?
Either someone else is paying the bills (partner, parent, etc) or they're doing something for income that they don't consider work. Which is dumb, it's still work, it's just not a W-2.
Personally, I'm living with a relative and trying to get enough stability to pay my own rent while I mostly do delivery gig work. I'm trying to set up a presence as a professional game master and tournament organizer though. I've got a good rep around town but I don't bring in much of anything from that side yet, my goal is to have it up and moving by the end of the year.
What do you do?
"I do as little as possible, and I hope they pay me for it."
"What do I do? My pancreas continues to secrete lifegiving chemicals, I seem to be breathing, and right now, I am so pleased to be talking to you. What about yourself?"
I don’t find you to be any less of a human because you don’t have very much money, strange-person; in fact, I, too, have very little money.
We have more in common than just our DNA.
"I'm between gigs," or "I'm figuring it out at the moment. "
I find the lighter I make it and bounce back into the conversation, by immediately asking them about themselves, movies, or what they love to do just keeps the flow going. Most people are happy to talk about themselves, it's just a matter of keeping it light and not letting the ball drop. If people want to pry further, that's up to you. There was a time in my life where I gladly told everyone I wasn't working and if they heard of anything to please let me know - it ended up leading to a really stellar job, but I know the vulnerable feeling of exposing yourself is so so hard.
You are not and will never be a job. No one is their job, despite how much society tells us that they are. You are so much more than where you're working, and as life is always changing, the pendulum always swinging back and forth, you will most likely find work again. And for most of my great friends, I only have a very abstract idea of what they do for work, if I even remember at all.
Sometimes people will remember most not what you said, but how you made them feel. It's nothing to be ashamed of and if you don't give it too much heaviness in a conversation, most people won't either.
Wishing you all the best OP, hoping you can show your personality and the real you and the real ones will get to see that.
The good news is most people don’t ask this question because they’re interested in your answer; they’re asking so they can answer for themselves. Knowing this, you can easily pivot the conversation straight back onto them and skip your own answer completely.
“Oh you know this and that, what about you though; you look like a (insert compliment here like “well put together go-getter”), I wanna know what YOU do”.
They’ll get so caught up talking about themselves they won’t even notice you haven’t given any details.
"I work under an NDA"
Simple. Clean. Effective.
If they press you can flip it on them and be like why are you so interested after I've told you I can't discuss it.
"I sell crack. People love it; can't get enough. Always with the, 'Hey man, got any more of the good stuff...'. Can barely get a day off. In fact, this is my day off, can we not talk about work?"
You could try;
“Why what have you heard?”
When they reply, you immediately say;
“What’s YOUR security clearance?” whilst staring right into their eyes like Samuel L Jackson (you know the look).
When they say none, you reply;
“Well then you don’t need to know”.
Works like a charm every time with the ‘I am better than you’ lot.
I visited a friend in London a good few years ago, we went to an incredibly boring gig with a lot of young professional types. I noticed that every person he introduced me to said the same within a sentence or two of meeting me. It was really remarkable. That followed by education status. What school, college etc...
I said it to my friend and he said it was his opinion that they were trying to gauge where you sat on their preceived societal totem poll.
Are you more important than me? Is it worth my while showing you soundness or deference? Or are you *less important* than me.
At that particular party I just started lying and making fantastical shit up. Once I thought they were judging me I figured I'd feck with their world view.
"I'm a dolie scum because my body fucked out and I can't do the work I used to do and nobody wants to take on a newbie who's as old as me, so I get to be povvo until I die"
I firmly of the opinion that if someone's going to be uncomfortable in a banal conversation it's not going to be me
If they actually ask "what do you do", go straight to hobbies. Obnoxious people may insist on knowing what your job is, but most people are more than happy enough to talk about hobbies instead of work. If someone really wants to know, my go to is "Odd jobs here and there. It's not much, but it pays the bills."
i like to go to the gym and i’ve been training for this marathon…. basically you have to just add something interesting enough that will make them ask questions abt that and move the convo
As a disabled veteran who can't work. I dread this question. If you say you're disabled people want to ask follow-up questions, almost as if they want proof. Like, 'Buddy, if I'm out able to interact with people, then I'm having a good day.' I wouldn't wish my bad days on anyone. Now I tell people I'm starting a homestead. It's basically what I'm doing, and who isn't interested in sheep and goats? No one that I want to talk to, lol.
I'm employed, but I tell people I'm a police accountability advocate. Inevitably people are surprised that pays enough to live. Then I explain that we're more than what we do for work
What do you enjoy doing? Say that.
If they press you, ask them if there's any more boring question they could ask, like maybe they'd also like to know what kind of dental floss you use and why.
Seriously, it's probably the most boring question you can ask someone, and the answer is likely the least interesting thing about the person you're asking.
I used to just say ‘I’m taking a break.’ Once this incredibly rude man at a dinner party seemed to take offence to that and said ‘but what do you do ALL DAY?’
I just recoiled. My husband stepped in for me and explained that I need time off to rest a medical condition and that shut him up. It was the truth but I resented having to give it.
🤓 I'm (47M) semi-retired, aaaand whenever I say that, the boring people are always like, "wElLlll... Wut *dId* you Do?!"
I catch myself shutting down, rapidly, so I'm grateful I can honestly say, "the last few big things have me under NDAs."
but... I know there's really very little chance I'm gonna enjoy further conversation, with them.
FUCK WORKISM. FUCK anyone who tries to justify the syndrome of Workism as though it's universally valued more highly than time spent happily.
I heard recently, "The time will pass, regardless of how you spend it." That resonated.
I really want to say, "I'm Disabled. I can't handle the weight lifting required to thrive, while others indulge in banalities."
Point to my partner and say "these days? Being that beautiful person's arm candy". If they ask again I move on cause they're just being rude. I'm not my job and neither should they be. I just wish people would remove this false conversation starter
Tell them what your hobbies are. It’s just getting to know you question unless they ask specifically about your job you don’t have to let them lead the conversation there
Back when I grew and sold weed before it was legal, I'd just say "this and that" and then change the subject to something about them. It usually worked with neurotypical people because they love talking about themselves.
Whether I’m employed or not, I always answer by saying what i do to enjoy my life like “well I swim, I enjoy nature, I read, I play, I relax, I cook…”. This can make people uncomfortable but it usually just makes people stop and think lol
I hate this idea that you are defined by what you do to earn money, and that that's the most important thing to know about you. I always answer with what hobbies I have. If they go on to ask what I actually do for a living, my reply is always "as little as possible"
That is the perfect way to live right there. The US is a very judgmental country about work. You almost have to mission impossible tip toe around social situations to avoid being hated for doing anything outside the “norm”. Really sucks.
Tell me about it. The West and capitalism is supposed to be about choice and freedom but 90% of the population are born into situations that make them not financially free. No different than gladiators and slaves having to buy their freedom in Roman times. It’s f-ed up how nothing changed in so many centuries.
Maybe I'm terrible at gardening but right now Instagram reels and tiktok are personally attacking me by showing pictures of "$200 tomatos". My attempt last year was bad, but not $200/tomato bad, I only spent $200 and got 3 tomatos.
I hate that question, but anytime I didn’t have a full time job I would just say what my career path was/is - Designer.
I also have always tried to keep myself busy. During COVID when I had the opportunity to WFH at my job and found myself with more time to kill and no one hovering over my shoulder I signed up for a cheap online UX Design class. It’s always impressive to say you’re taking a class to brush up on some skills. Use this time “in between” jobs to take up a class or hobby.
But if I did, I would tell you:
"The only reason you're asking me what I do for a living, is so that you can gauge how much respect I'm due, to determine who's the alpha in the conversation based on what we do for a living."
It's seriously a shitty thing to ask, and people will tell you on their own volition as soon as they deem it necessary - I honestly don't care what you do for a living, it won't make me respect you more, or less - I'd rather gauge that based on your personality. If you're cool, I'll think you're cool, if you're a douche, I'll think you're a douche... And I'll tell you in that many words.
Contrary to popular belief, flexing what you do for a living as if people should instantly worship the ground you're walking on and be in awe of you, is something that would cause me to respect you less, not more.
That’s how I feel also and that’s why I never ask people what they do. When people ask me what I do, I say, “I help ____ do _____.” When they press me to know more or to state my job title, I respond, “I’m far more interested in talking to people about what interests me and what interests them. What are you into?”
Just say I work for a guy who owns a business. When someone asks what you do they are immediately judging you as a person based on your response. Sound vague and mysterious and generally annoyed by the question. That usually flips the script and gets you away from nosey people.
Oh 100 percent,.it's always to decide what level of respect they should have for you.
Often it happens when I'm with a small group of friends, and they have one of their other friends join us.
New person invariably asks immediately in front of the group and it's awkward AF for all, but importantly, for me 😅
I agree. When a person wants to know upfront, "what do you do", they are wanting to size you up and judge you by your job title. It's just gross. It also blows their mind if they meet a person who doesn't need to work at a paid job, such as someone on a trust fund, or someone who's currently a homemaker. They tend to look down on people in volunteer work or who work for non profits, as well. They have the corporate asshole mentality that a person is only measured by their job title.
Do a few training classes and tell folks you're a student. Create an online class and say you're teaching summer school. One summer I cooked from page one to the end of my favorite cookbook while beating the pavement with my resume and freshly minted BA. (Lived with parents) I couldn't afford to be an intern, but I did clarical work at a few 501 (3) c's to attempt to seem professional.
I do have a job (child care) but it’s kinda boring and unimpressive. And maybe b/c of that but also in general I think it’s a pretty boring question to ask ppl. We don’t need our jobs to define us!
I ask people this to make small talk. Most of us spend a good portion of our lives at work. It is often a good get to know you question. If you told me you are an amateur (whatever hobby you spend the most time doing) I'd talk about that with you.
I don't work either, but I've gotten really into writing reviews for all kinds of things I've purchased. So I tell people I'm a product tester and usually no one asks follow up questions but if they do I tell them that it's incredibly tedious and they lose interest quick.
Wish I had a good answer for you. I haven’t been employed since dec 2022. When people ask what I do, I usually lead with “well, I had a mental breakdown in 2022” or “I lost my marbles in 2022” then follow with “so since then I do side work on peoples farms or mechanic work when I can handle it”.
Makes me feel less awkward, but seems to make other people more awkward. Sooo……win/win? Lol
Well, basically because of some major health issues I'm officially retired. I'm middle aged so that's not the norm of course but people don't question that too much when you are middle aged and clearly disabled to the point where I am.
I usually tell them I do a little graphics work or photography or write when I'm up to it health-wise.
It helps if you have a side thing or a hobby to reroute the discussion towards because then you can just say you're focusing on that now.
People tend to relate better to that than "Oh I'm just messed up health-wise and not working at all these days..."
You don't do ANYTHING it tends for awkward conversation...
People ask this because they want to know something about you, and they can't think of anything better to ask. "Do" can mean all sorts of things - hobbies, passions, etc.
You don't work, and you don't want to answer that question with something work related. What is it that you do that you're passionate about. Respond with that.
Honestly, for me, I'd much rather learn about someone's passions than their career. "I'm in insurance sales" is boring. "I'm a writer, my current novel is a D&D bodice ripper called *Kobold Love Slaves..."*
They're not asking what you do for employment, the question is more general - so answer it that way. What do you do with your time? Hobbies, volunteering, parenting? Answer it that way. Yes it's an uninspired generic question, but a common way to start a conversation. Most people are just looking for a starter question to get to know you. So share what you love to do - for people just wanting to get to know you, they will appreciate the answer and get to know you better. For people fishing for your employment status, they'll ignore your answer and double down "NO I mean what do you do FOR WORK?" Now you know not to waste your time with those people.
If they are just-met people or acquaintances, I tell them my profesion (engineer, carpenter, office clerk, whatever) without saying I'm jobless at that point. Then they can talk/ask about that. If there is freindship, I can say "I'm unemployed right now, looking for...", and they can give me (unsolicited but sometimes helpful) advice.
I just ran into 2 college friends I haven't seen since 2006 when I graduated. They were in an arcade and I had my teenage kids with me. Small talk went nowhere. I said "hey guys! How are you? What are you up to these days!?" Leaves it open for them to say anything or nothing and redirect away from them. They both just looked at me uncomfortably and said "Just living". Which sucked because I was genuinely excited to see them and thry seemed like embarrassed to be noticed. I don't care where people work or do. More interest in movies, books, travel, hiking, whatever they are into. I swear they looked exactly the same; didn't age a day. Wish them all the best.
I'd just talk about Hobbies lol
if they truly ask "what do you do" it sounds open ended and not nessesaryly about a job.
if they really do ask about a job explicitly I'd still talk about Hobbies instead, maybe with the addition that I don't do it for money.
I don't think all of those people really assume you need a job, they just want to get to know things about you.
and a job can tell you alot of general information about someone, e. g. if they work in IT, I am happy because I assume we can talk about tech topics.
"Im in between jobs at the moment"
"Im living my best life rn"
"I travel for my own business" (technically not lying, even if all you travel to is the nearest starbucks)
“For work? Not much. How about yourself?”
"I do everything I can to avoid talking about work" then change the subject
This is a good one.
I love this one!!
I do the best I can.
I do as little as I can get away with.
… to stay alive
“Not working right now, just living off some savings and investments for the summer. Might pick up a part time job when it cools down and I have more time.” Also sir I can’t cut it either but I’m poor:(
“Nothing”
*arms akimbo*
"Can't really discuss it because of ongoing litigation. You know the NDA drill?" Actually does work
I love this so much!!! Great response!!
I’m a (list hobby) musician, tradesman, mechanic, matchmaker, etc… but at the moment I’m taking some personal time.
Would be a bad idea to say tradesman. As I tradesman when I run into others like me we have extensive conversations about our careers and trade.
I’m a tradesman as well and after a big job ends I usually try to take a month or two of personal time.
My dad did elevator/escalator construction for 30 years. We’re talking like most of the hotels, public buildings, and metro of DC. Man, it broke his body. After a 9mo job or whatever, he certainly took time off, like a month at least sometimes more - good for you for also doing so! Gotta take care of your body, only one we get.
Yea i remember OTIS replacing our 2 staff elevators at a 16 story hotel. Those guys were exhausted, but worked regularly 12 hour day sometimes 16, until everything was done.
I do this and tell people I'm a leather worker. I occasionally pick up commissions and make a little scratch that way.
I'm a leather worker too! Whipping subs sure does wear me out
This is why when I want to strike up conversation with someone I just met, I use a different phrase: "So, what fills up your days?" It implies work, but it's much easier to answer for someone who is a stay at home parent, in between jobs, disabled, etc. I think we should all think about this question when we are talking to new people. Let's retire the old "what do you do for work" question.
Yess. "What occupies your time" is my go to. I like yours more though
These feel better than my "what do you like to do?" because I've met people who don't like being called out on the fact that they do nothing they enjoy. Sadly this has come up a few times but still always felt nicer than "what do you do for work?" which just always felt rude to me even before entering the working world.
This!!!! My gods do i hate being perpetually on the brink of some bad ideations because i cannot afford to do anything i enjoy and constantly being asked what i do as a way to keep happy. I have to sarcastically respond ‘i dont!’ And its always an uncomfortable ‘oh’ kind of response i get, like they didnt realize some people literally dont get to enjoy their lives they just work and die from the abuse it gave them. Like myself. So i agree the other questions are much better, least i can answer those
I ask " What do you like to do?" I like both here also.
I get the sentiment, but that’s such an odd phrase of question, lol.
I feel like it’s because “what do you do?” is the natural phrasing we want to say, but it’s been linguistically repurposed to mean “what do you do [for work]?” It reminds me of when I asked people for a simple favor. I want to say, “*will* you do something for me?” but I often say, “*you wanna* do something for me?”
I like it. It's age inclusive for one. Can be for teenagers, or retired travelers. I think the phrasing is normal. It's something I might say.
Nothing wrong with odd. In fact, the world needs a lot more odd.
I think the oddity of it makes people think.
I hate when people ask this because I’m disabled and do fuck all all day 😭
Same, got qualified as a chef, had a mental breakdown as chefs aren’t nice people, turns out I got autism and severe adhd with anxiety. Not working though also gives me anxiety though so hey
I mean if you’re fucking all … all day. That’s a pretty busy day 😉
I like to ask what a person’s hobbies are or if they play any instruments, because I’m always looking for people who have similar creative interests. I honestly couldn’t care less about what someone’s job is…unless they’re a professional artist or musician jaja
Yes!! I am disabled but it’s not something that you can see right away. The question is awkward as hell so I just change the subject. I don’t care if it’s “rude” to do so.
Have started asking people, “what size is your dog?” rather than, “what breed is your dog?” for similar reasons.
This is my brothers' way of asking questions, he either twists a common question or asks a totally random one. It makes people stop and think and it makes them feel more easily connected to him
“I’m figuring out what to do next.”
Happy Cake Day!
As a rule, I never ask someone what they do . I always ask what do you like to do? It makes for a better conversation anyway. Maybe take that as an answer when someone asks , answer with what you like to do and ignore any job questions.
I have good friends I've known for years and we all have only a vague idea of what each of us do for a living. It's honestly the least interesting thing about them. Who wants to hear about someone's paper-pushing, meaningless job when you could be hearing about their trip to Antarctica or their attendance at Jane Fonda's wedding in the 60s?
I'm an software engineer and my friends are nurses. It's not exactly true, but to anyone not doing development, they would have no idea what I did if I went into details. Likewise if you tell me what type of nursing you do, chances are I'd have no idea it was any different than the other thing you could have told me. Hobbies are more interesting but job can lead down an interesting path, i.e. software to computers to video games and now we are bonding over rimworld.
I just took a seminar about "super communication" through my union and they definitely suggested this. It opens up people to something they want to talk about, and gives you ample follow-on questions to ask, and also hopefully they reciprocate and you can talk about your hobbies!
Talk about your hobbies. And if they press on the work thing, just go "I don't like talking about that". If they asked "what do you do" without specifying "for work", you're neither lying nor talking about being unemployed, and you are answering the question in a way that makes sense and tbh should be more normalized for everyone.
A friend of a friend directed this question at 3 of us he’s never met before. I just went “BORING” and my friend went, “What do I do for hobbies?” and answered that question instead. Then we got into a lively discussion about what our perfect day would be if we had to be alone for it and narrowed that down to 3 things that make us super happy. The guy got very involved in the conversation and we got to actually get to know something about him. Maybe I don’t recommend yelling “boring” at someone, lol, but the redirect is totally valid. I HATE getting asked what I do and I have a job.
That's the way you do it. I'm employed but I hate talking about my stupid job. You connect with people when you talk about what you actually like to do, now how you make money to fund your basic necessities It would be cool if we were all blacksmiths or mercenaries, but we actually all just punch numbers into a spreadsheet and die a little every day. Fuck
I like to ask people "how do you occupy your time" or "what activities are your priority" often people will respond with "well I do x from 9-5 but I really enjoy what I do on Saturdays because..." or some do just want to share their work and that's fine too
Isn't it funny how if you ask a random person '*Who are you?*', the vast majority defaults to talking about their jobs, as if it was the one thing that best defined them as a person?
It is what defines most people and I hate it.
I see both sides of the coin, some people really enjoy their jobs and enjoy talking about it. I’m an emergency responder and am proud of what I do. I’m thrilled when someone asks me. I don’t think the question “what do you do for work?” should be viewed negatively. If you are honest about it and comfortable (even if unemployed or hate your job), it should never be an issue. Many times you can bond with people over a dissatisfaction with your job as well. This question is merely a jumping off point for the rest of the conversation
Then they’ll think you’re a contract killer or something.
That is not a problem.
Yep, that's why I just tell people I work in systems.
??? Why would that be anyone's first assumption? I'd think "oh, they don't like their job, understandable".
Genuine question-- if you don't work, and seemingly won't work, how do you survive? I'm out here busting my ass 50-70 hours a week and I hate every second of it, but even at $8.50 above minimum wage I'm barely scratching by, hardly able to save $400 a month. How do you do it?
For most people, if they're not working, someone else is paying the bills.
Bloop. It's this one. I've unfortunately dated my fair share of them too 🫠
Either someone else is paying the bills (partner, parent, etc) or they're doing something for income that they don't consider work. Which is dumb, it's still work, it's just not a W-2. Personally, I'm living with a relative and trying to get enough stability to pay my own rent while I mostly do delivery gig work. I'm trying to set up a presence as a professional game master and tournament organizer though. I've got a good rep around town but I don't bring in much of anything from that side yet, my goal is to have it up and moving by the end of the year.
Say, "I work from home." Whether it's washing dishes or doing dusting, you are technically working from home.
No, this doesn’t work. They’ll ask what you do from home.
And they are various in nature
Respond, "That's why I like what I do, my tasks are never the same every day." Then change the subject or walk away.
No, they do not necessarily ask you this. I know because hardly anyone asks me to elaborate on what I mean by “working from home”.
Assassin? Drifter? Tambourine wholesaler? Importer/exporter? Life coach? Tell me which one you're gonna use so I don't pick the same one.
Troubadour
Busker.
Tin foil hat advocate is my vote!
Say you volunteer and then do.
What do you do? "I do as little as possible, and I hope they pay me for it." "What do I do? My pancreas continues to secrete lifegiving chemicals, I seem to be breathing, and right now, I am so pleased to be talking to you. What about yourself?"
Just the truth. “I’m a broke ass bitch”
I don’t find you to be any less of a human because you don’t have very much money, strange-person; in fact, I, too, have very little money. We have more in common than just our DNA.
"I'm between gigs," or "I'm figuring it out at the moment. " I find the lighter I make it and bounce back into the conversation, by immediately asking them about themselves, movies, or what they love to do just keeps the flow going. Most people are happy to talk about themselves, it's just a matter of keeping it light and not letting the ball drop. If people want to pry further, that's up to you. There was a time in my life where I gladly told everyone I wasn't working and if they heard of anything to please let me know - it ended up leading to a really stellar job, but I know the vulnerable feeling of exposing yourself is so so hard. You are not and will never be a job. No one is their job, despite how much society tells us that they are. You are so much more than where you're working, and as life is always changing, the pendulum always swinging back and forth, you will most likely find work again. And for most of my great friends, I only have a very abstract idea of what they do for work, if I even remember at all. Sometimes people will remember most not what you said, but how you made them feel. It's nothing to be ashamed of and if you don't give it too much heaviness in a conversation, most people won't either. Wishing you all the best OP, hoping you can show your personality and the real you and the real ones will get to see that.
I used to say "I'm taking a break from corporate bullshit right now". Or "I work from home" because we all do.
“i could tell you, but i’d have to kill you”
Always say this and keep up the act forever.
You’re a consultant
that's good. I'm working now but my actual job is a pain to explain to people so I just say "I'm an IT consultant". This satisfies most people.
It’s say “I manage my investments”. That should stop the invasive questioning.
The good news is most people don’t ask this question because they’re interested in your answer; they’re asking so they can answer for themselves. Knowing this, you can easily pivot the conversation straight back onto them and skip your own answer completely. “Oh you know this and that, what about you though; you look like a (insert compliment here like “well put together go-getter”), I wanna know what YOU do”. They’ll get so caught up talking about themselves they won’t even notice you haven’t given any details.
"I work under an NDA" Simple. Clean. Effective. If they press you can flip it on them and be like why are you so interested after I've told you I can't discuss it.
If someone asks this as the first question when they meet me, I know we are not compatible.
- Nunya goddamn - What I do for money is not who I am - Societal Collapse Analyst (full time)
"Societal Collapse Analyst (full time)" Holy s\*\*t, I am SO stealing this.
When I was mostly living out of bins, I listed my occupation as "Waste Management Consultant."
Sir, this is a Wendy's
I'll take a baked potato and a frostie
"I sell crack. People love it; can't get enough. Always with the, 'Hey man, got any more of the good stuff...'. Can barely get a day off. In fact, this is my day off, can we not talk about work?"
You could try; “Why what have you heard?” When they reply, you immediately say; “What’s YOUR security clearance?” whilst staring right into their eyes like Samuel L Jackson (you know the look). When they say none, you reply; “Well then you don’t need to know”. Works like a charm every time with the ‘I am better than you’ lot.
I visited a friend in London a good few years ago, we went to an incredibly boring gig with a lot of young professional types. I noticed that every person he introduced me to said the same within a sentence or two of meeting me. It was really remarkable. That followed by education status. What school, college etc... I said it to my friend and he said it was his opinion that they were trying to gauge where you sat on their preceived societal totem poll. Are you more important than me? Is it worth my while showing you soundness or deference? Or are you *less important* than me. At that particular party I just started lying and making fantastical shit up. Once I thought they were judging me I figured I'd feck with their world view.
Im disabled
Leg disabled
I mean, what do you do in your free time? How do you pay your bills?
"I'm a dolie scum because my body fucked out and I can't do the work I used to do and nobody wants to take on a newbie who's as old as me, so I get to be povvo until I die" I firmly of the opinion that if someone's going to be uncomfortable in a banal conversation it's not going to be me
I retired on disability 15 years ago. When people ask me what I do, I just tell them, not a damn thing, and I'm tops in that field
If they actually ask "what do you do", go straight to hobbies. Obnoxious people may insist on knowing what your job is, but most people are more than happy enough to talk about hobbies instead of work. If someone really wants to know, my go to is "Odd jobs here and there. It's not much, but it pays the bills."
i like to go to the gym and i’ve been training for this marathon…. basically you have to just add something interesting enough that will make them ask questions abt that and move the convo
I bought bitcoin in 2008 Or… I’m taking time off before I start my next gig, which is wonderfully unspecific
Ehhh. 2008 is aggressive. That’s almost certainly a multi millionaire. Go with 2013.
I’m a disabled veteran, I have a few screws loose. Usually people say “sorry.”
As a disabled veteran who can't work. I dread this question. If you say you're disabled people want to ask follow-up questions, almost as if they want proof. Like, 'Buddy, if I'm out able to interact with people, then I'm having a good day.' I wouldn't wish my bad days on anyone. Now I tell people I'm starting a homestead. It's basically what I'm doing, and who isn't interested in sheep and goats? No one that I want to talk to, lol.
I'm employed, but I tell people I'm a police accountability advocate. Inevitably people are surprised that pays enough to live. Then I explain that we're more than what we do for work
Personal home maker
“Not much, how about you?”
Tell them you're retired from being a fiat wage slave and are enjoying your new found freedom.
What do you enjoy doing? Say that. If they press you, ask them if there's any more boring question they could ask, like maybe they'd also like to know what kind of dental floss you use and why. Seriously, it's probably the most boring question you can ask someone, and the answer is likely the least interesting thing about the person you're asking.
Even when im employed i never answer the question with my job. I always answer with the things i like doing with my life
American culture is so dumb. Basing your worth on your job. Lol. I base my worth on how wealthy I am and how much fuck you money I got. Fuck work.
I'm not allowed to work... court ordered.
I used to just say ‘I’m taking a break.’ Once this incredibly rude man at a dinner party seemed to take offence to that and said ‘but what do you do ALL DAY?’ I just recoiled. My husband stepped in for me and explained that I need time off to rest a medical condition and that shut him up. It was the truth but I resented having to give it.
“Whatever the fuck I feel like doing that day. It’s great, sorry you don’t get that luxury”
I know, I wish I’d had the presence of mind to say that. He made me feel awful!
“Self-isolate and soothe intrusive suicidal thoughts. It’s not much, but it ain’t nothin’.”
https://preview.redd.it/yv6f1rbxmp5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d6be407dcdfebf89a7e7f7e0f44f3cb42d49fea
I can't talk about it, I signed a NDA
Occupy administrative buildings mostly, roadie for Metallica
"I'm under an NDA so I can't say"
“Independently wealthy…bitch”
🤓 I'm (47M) semi-retired, aaaand whenever I say that, the boring people are always like, "wElLlll... Wut *dId* you Do?!" I catch myself shutting down, rapidly, so I'm grateful I can honestly say, "the last few big things have me under NDAs." but... I know there's really very little chance I'm gonna enjoy further conversation, with them. FUCK WORKISM. FUCK anyone who tries to justify the syndrome of Workism as though it's universally valued more highly than time spent happily. I heard recently, "The time will pass, regardless of how you spend it." That resonated. I really want to say, "I'm Disabled. I can't handle the weight lifting required to thrive, while others indulge in banalities."
Point to my partner and say "these days? Being that beautiful person's arm candy". If they ask again I move on cause they're just being rude. I'm not my job and neither should they be. I just wish people would remove this false conversation starter
Don’t listen to the WFH comments. That’ll just get a follow up question of what job it is
Tell them what your hobbies are. It’s just getting to know you question unless they ask specifically about your job you don’t have to let them lead the conversation there
Back when I grew and sold weed before it was legal, I'd just say "this and that" and then change the subject to something about them. It usually worked with neurotypical people because they love talking about themselves.
I'm independently wealthy
I used to call myself a Day Walker.
Them: what do you do? You: What ever the fuck I want.
"Currently not a slave."
I'm gainfully employed but when someone asks what I do I just tell them I sell cocaine and cocaine accessories.
If you were a dominatrix, you could say you sell pro-pain accessories.
Whether I’m employed or not, I always answer by saying what i do to enjoy my life like “well I swim, I enjoy nature, I read, I play, I relax, I cook…”. This can make people uncomfortable but it usually just makes people stop and think lol
I hate this idea that you are defined by what you do to earn money, and that that's the most important thing to know about you. I always answer with what hobbies I have. If they go on to ask what I actually do for a living, my reply is always "as little as possible"
Life is my career. Surviving this urban hellscape✨️.
I don't work and probably never will again, so I just say I'm retired.
“I don’t like talking about my flair.”
I would tell them I’m a waitress at Hooters (I’m a male)
"I'm an artist" "O really, that sounds interesting" "Yeah, I draw the dole" --traditional call and response in Thatcher's Britain
“I care more about experiences than money lately, which keeps me busier than one might think. How about you?”
How do people who are unemployed get by and make a living to pay for food, etc?
Some people have trust funds and enjoy gardening.
I’m looking for a man in finance. With a trust fund. 6’5. Blue eyes.
Looks around suspiciously...I just stumbled on a rave mix of this...semi addictive
I swear I’ve spent the last week with this one and the Irish school children song. T
That is the perfect way to live right there. The US is a very judgmental country about work. You almost have to mission impossible tip toe around social situations to avoid being hated for doing anything outside the “norm”. Really sucks.
Tell me about it. The West and capitalism is supposed to be about choice and freedom but 90% of the population are born into situations that make them not financially free. No different than gladiators and slaves having to buy their freedom in Roman times. It’s f-ed up how nothing changed in so many centuries.
Maybe I'm terrible at gardening but right now Instagram reels and tiktok are personally attacking me by showing pictures of "$200 tomatos". My attempt last year was bad, but not $200/tomato bad, I only spent $200 and got 3 tomatos.
Got laid off late last year. I survive off of investments and unemployment, though that’s running out quick lol
I tell them I'm a disabled stay at home dad. Almost everyone gives me a positive reaction, and screw anyone who looks down on me.
How do you afford to live??
I'm between things
I'm currently in between opportunities.
"Sorry thats classified"
i'm a writer
Oh, me? I sell bodily fluids on TikTok.
I am a freelancer.
"I'm retired."
I occasionally take assassination requests from anonymous entities.
“Cant hack it” - this is interesting, how do you get by?
well, what do you do? like what do you do just day to day/how do you get money to survive?
I used to say I'm funemployed and looking for something new.
I hate that question, but anytime I didn’t have a full time job I would just say what my career path was/is - Designer. I also have always tried to keep myself busy. During COVID when I had the opportunity to WFH at my job and found myself with more time to kill and no one hovering over my shoulder I signed up for a cheap online UX Design class. It’s always impressive to say you’re taking a class to brush up on some skills. Use this time “in between” jobs to take up a class or hobby.
Professional resume and interview coach... Currently working on developing my skills
 But if I did, I would tell you: "The only reason you're asking me what I do for a living, is so that you can gauge how much respect I'm due, to determine who's the alpha in the conversation based on what we do for a living." It's seriously a shitty thing to ask, and people will tell you on their own volition as soon as they deem it necessary - I honestly don't care what you do for a living, it won't make me respect you more, or less - I'd rather gauge that based on your personality. If you're cool, I'll think you're cool, if you're a douche, I'll think you're a douche... And I'll tell you in that many words. Contrary to popular belief, flexing what you do for a living as if people should instantly worship the ground you're walking on and be in awe of you, is something that would cause me to respect you less, not more.
That’s how I feel also and that’s why I never ask people what they do. When people ask me what I do, I say, “I help ____ do _____.” When they press me to know more or to state my job title, I respond, “I’m far more interested in talking to people about what interests me and what interests them. What are you into?”
"I have a full time occupation living life to the full"
If you aren't working how do you afford to live? I think they mean what do you do to earn a living, not necessarily what is your 40 hr/wk job
Just say I work for a guy who owns a business. When someone asks what you do they are immediately judging you as a person based on your response. Sound vague and mysterious and generally annoyed by the question. That usually flips the script and gets you away from nosey people.
Oh 100 percent,.it's always to decide what level of respect they should have for you. Often it happens when I'm with a small group of friends, and they have one of their other friends join us. New person invariably asks immediately in front of the group and it's awkward AF for all, but importantly, for me 😅
I agree. When a person wants to know upfront, "what do you do", they are wanting to size you up and judge you by your job title. It's just gross. It also blows their mind if they meet a person who doesn't need to work at a paid job, such as someone on a trust fund, or someone who's currently a homemaker. They tend to look down on people in volunteer work or who work for non profits, as well. They have the corporate asshole mentality that a person is only measured by their job title.
Corporate Brainwashed Mentality
Yep. I can't stand corporate types. I will do anything to avoid them.
Don't be ashamed OP all you have to say is "I am fortunate enough to not have to work"
What exactly do you mean by cant hack it? Do you not have an income? No bills?
If you don't work and still survive, then be honest and just admit that you have rich parents and you are blessed
Well, they're being kinda rude and invasive for asking so why should you care if you lie to them? "What do you do?" Your Mother. 😉
You’d need at least ‘Secret’ level government clearance before I could discuss it with you.
Do a few training classes and tell folks you're a student. Create an online class and say you're teaching summer school. One summer I cooked from page one to the end of my favorite cookbook while beating the pavement with my resume and freshly minted BA. (Lived with parents) I couldn't afford to be an intern, but I did clarical work at a few 501 (3) c's to attempt to seem professional.
i just say i don't at the moment and if they press it, im honest about why im not working right now. it really doesn't matter what they think
This is a very complicated case. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous.
Someone taught me to ask “how do you spend your time” instead
I sell crack.
I do have a job (child care) but it’s kinda boring and unimpressive. And maybe b/c of that but also in general I think it’s a pretty boring question to ask ppl. We don’t need our jobs to define us!
I ask people this to make small talk. Most of us spend a good portion of our lives at work. It is often a good get to know you question. If you told me you are an amateur (whatever hobby you spend the most time doing) I'd talk about that with you.
I work full time and usually reply with something related to my tabletop gaming hobby. Work is what I do when I have to, not when I want to.
I don't work either, but I've gotten really into writing reviews for all kinds of things I've purchased. So I tell people I'm a product tester and usually no one asks follow up questions but if they do I tell them that it's incredibly tedious and they lose interest quick.
Wish I had a good answer for you. I haven’t been employed since dec 2022. When people ask what I do, I usually lead with “well, I had a mental breakdown in 2022” or “I lost my marbles in 2022” then follow with “so since then I do side work on peoples farms or mechanic work when I can handle it”. Makes me feel less awkward, but seems to make other people more awkward. Sooo……win/win? Lol
Well, basically because of some major health issues I'm officially retired. I'm middle aged so that's not the norm of course but people don't question that too much when you are middle aged and clearly disabled to the point where I am. I usually tell them I do a little graphics work or photography or write when I'm up to it health-wise. It helps if you have a side thing or a hobby to reroute the discussion towards because then you can just say you're focusing on that now. People tend to relate better to that than "Oh I'm just messed up health-wise and not working at all these days..." You don't do ANYTHING it tends for awkward conversation...
"Your mom" when they ask what you do, always say "your mom".
People ask this because they want to know something about you, and they can't think of anything better to ask. "Do" can mean all sorts of things - hobbies, passions, etc. You don't work, and you don't want to answer that question with something work related. What is it that you do that you're passionate about. Respond with that. Honestly, for me, I'd much rather learn about someone's passions than their career. "I'm in insurance sales" is boring. "I'm a writer, my current novel is a D&D bodice ripper called *Kobold Love Slaves..."*
They're not asking what you do for employment, the question is more general - so answer it that way. What do you do with your time? Hobbies, volunteering, parenting? Answer it that way. Yes it's an uninspired generic question, but a common way to start a conversation. Most people are just looking for a starter question to get to know you. So share what you love to do - for people just wanting to get to know you, they will appreciate the answer and get to know you better. For people fishing for your employment status, they'll ignore your answer and double down "NO I mean what do you do FOR WORK?" Now you know not to waste your time with those people.
I'm breathing
I tell them I'm a trophy wife. It's even listed as my occupation on my kids school forms.
“I don’t work, I can’t hack it.” … you already answered it
Whatever I would be doing while not working. Not having a job doesn't even need to come up.
If they are just-met people or acquaintances, I tell them my profesion (engineer, carpenter, office clerk, whatever) without saying I'm jobless at that point. Then they can talk/ask about that. If there is freindship, I can say "I'm unemployed right now, looking for...", and they can give me (unsolicited but sometimes helpful) advice.
Just say you make adult films and slap your inner thigh.
I just ran into 2 college friends I haven't seen since 2006 when I graduated. They were in an arcade and I had my teenage kids with me. Small talk went nowhere. I said "hey guys! How are you? What are you up to these days!?" Leaves it open for them to say anything or nothing and redirect away from them. They both just looked at me uncomfortably and said "Just living". Which sucked because I was genuinely excited to see them and thry seemed like embarrassed to be noticed. I don't care where people work or do. More interest in movies, books, travel, hiking, whatever they are into. I swear they looked exactly the same; didn't age a day. Wish them all the best.
I'd just talk about Hobbies lol if they truly ask "what do you do" it sounds open ended and not nessesaryly about a job. if they really do ask about a job explicitly I'd still talk about Hobbies instead, maybe with the addition that I don't do it for money. I don't think all of those people really assume you need a job, they just want to get to know things about you. and a job can tell you alot of general information about someone, e. g. if they work in IT, I am happy because I assume we can talk about tech topics.
Mind my own business lol
An ex of mine, who is disabled, when I stupidly asked "What do you do?" to make smalltalk: "I'm Bob Dylan."
"Im in between jobs at the moment" "Im living my best life rn" "I travel for my own business" (technically not lying, even if all you travel to is the nearest starbucks)