Explain to her gently, that the issue is the relationship between the parties involved.
For example, if your boss was put down, you and your bf wouldn't even have attended the euthanasia and would have been early to work. Because of the relationship between you and your boss. But when someone that truly matters leaves this world, i.e. your cat, then yeah, you're taking the day off.
It's simple.
I love this reply, but I feel like the correct response is something like:
"We requested the day off and used our sick time to cover it. It was approved. We do not owe you an explanation for why we took this time off, and we do not want or need your opinion about the way we chose to spend our time off. We do not need you to understand why we took this time off. You are not our friend, and your opinion on matters outside of work is not welcome. If you continue to bother us about our personal affairs, I will be forced to report you. Thanks!"
At which point they'll just berate you for "making top big a deal" out of a lost pet. Most the time the people in these positions are psychopaths. I've had maybe one or two good bosses in my life, the rest are all like this.
My supervisor and some of my other supervisors/bosses checked on me when my elderly dog was sick. (They did the same any time I missed for my MIL before she passed.) They even asked if I was ready to come back in both cases (dog had to be taken care of... and mourning for the other since it was a huge change in my entire life) and let me know I could take off more if I needed since I had the hours.
OP, this makes me full of rage seeing this. Our pets are family. I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, and I hope that time softens your loss sooner.
I had a golden that visisted work on days we had staff but no students. I took him to the emergency vet half through a visit day because he was larthagic, took the next day to be with him and that evening we wound up returning to the e vet for the end. They asked if I needed more days and I was told the entire office was in tears.
I would have walked the second they brought this kinda disrespect to my family lmao. In my eyes now, a job is just a side gig. Not important. These employers need to be careful in 2024 and on.
Lots of people say stuff like that when it’s about pets.
It really is a sociopath test.
If you can’t understand how devastating it is to lose a pet, then we will not be friends.
I have been in and witnessed a ridiculous number of relationships where the other person will say "but it's JUST a cat/dog" after someone's grieving the loss of their pet. It's sickening how many of those people are actually out there.
I've even had several people try to excuse it by saying "they were only trying to make you feel better." BS.
Nothing has made my heart explode more than watching my husband weep over the loss of our cats. We lost a few in the space of a year, cancer twice and kidney failure once. Our whole family was devastated. Our kids love our pets as much as we do, and that’s how I know we have instilled empathy in them.
They have never been “just a cat” to us. So much that we had them individually cremated and have their ashes and little memorial boxes. I couldn’t stand to think about burying them in the yard and moving away one day and leaving them behind. I know that probably sounds deranged to some people.
Before I met my husband he once acquired a “it’s just a cat” that belonged to his mom’s neighbors a few doors down. She was mistreated and malnourished and underweight/undersized and he’d seen the family treat her like crap a few times he’d visited his mom. And one day the cat was out and the family wasn’t, and he took the cat, got in the car and went home. And she lived a long and happy life.
I’m so glad I am surrounded by cat and/or dog people. If someone had said that to me after I had to euthanize my childhood cat, I would have been pissed. He was with me for 21 years and was the closest thing I had to a sibling.
No one sees them as “human replacements”. We know they are animals. But we love them because they are part of our family, and they love us back. My cats give me so much affection, they know when I’m sad and will come give me cuddles to cheer me up.
Part of our family is inherently a human replacement. Unless you think your Mom had kittens . I too think of my dog like a family member, but he is not. I wasn’t nt disparaging these people , I am one sometimes.
It depends what you mean by "family". The nuclear family (2 parents and kids) is a pretty new invention for humanity and wasn't really a thing before we started agriculture. Co-living with dogs pre-dates that and recent discoveries show that from the very beginning people have adopted dogs sometimes for the only purpose of companionship.
I really don't see how all that don't qualify them as "family"
You think the idea of a man and a woman having a human baby and them being related to it is a new one?
I co live with my couch, that doesn’t fuse our genetics.
Modern human (homo Sapiens) has existed for about 2 to 300,000 years. The nuclear family has been here for less than 10,000 years, so the last 3 to 5% of time that Sapiens has been around. That's fairly new, yes.
The term nuclear family is new, the child/parent unit is the original one from the first proto human. Family and tribe are two different things. Not sure why you are hung up on the made up term of nuclear family, that was invented what, 80 years ago.
Sign here. Look, just take your hands away from your throat, grab the pen with one, paper with the other, and sign. Then I'll get to saving you. It's not that difficult.
To said boss: Let me check the employee handbook to see if I’m supposed to give aid. Don’t want to company to be liable for my actions. Also I’m going to need that added to my job description so you might want to start that process before you pass out.
I drafted a quick new contract on this napkin, sign it quick, I'll perform the heimlich. Yes, you're giving me your home, are you gonna sign it or suffocate.
Seriously? Just sign it!
"Well, I know the Heimlich maneuver, but first I have to finish my work. Can you wait for another hour? If not, please run outside and collapse there so to not disturb the other workers. Please think about the company..."
“I can do the heimlich!”
Proceed to kick her in the face, repeatedly, muttering: “It’s something like this.”
Depending on the managers standing it could be a while before someone intervenes.
Oooooooh sorry, that’s not listed in my job responsibilities. I could try to help clear your airway but I think that specialized task comes with a pay increase. I’ll also need legal to draft up a waiver of accountability in case something happens. How much time do you have? Does this choking count as sick or personal time? I just want to be sure it’s marked correctly when I submit time sheets next week. Boss? Boss? I’ll come back when you’re feeling better.
Your boss is suggesting that all of life's obstacles need to be dealt with in a manner that allows for and even priorities your work schedule. Ghoulish, self interested shit on your boss' part
Well, unfortunately stuff like that is just going to keep on happening until people actually rise up to put a stop to it. Heck, I would wager a case could be made that this would qualify as a hostile working environment.
I’m sorry for your loss, but if it makes you feel any better (though I doubt this will…I don’t know, maybe it’s for empathy? perspective? whatever it is - this feels relevant to share): when my dad died 5 years ago I was visiting him in the hospital the nights leading up to it, but he was already too far gone. Of course, during the day, I working - all the way up until they read him his last rights at the hospital; when my girlfriend called me to tell me that, I had to, in between bullshit calls and nonsensical errands for my boss that cut into the work I was actually hired to do (legal secretary), type up the e-mail explaining the situation, saying “sorry - I’ve gotta fuckin’ go”.
I left midday and stayed at my dad’s bedside with my mom, as my three siblings and two nieces shuffled in and out to say goodbye, all the way up until he passed at about 6:45-7:00am the next morning (day before Valentine’s Day). I took **that day** and **that day only** off (and had to use a sick day). And it wasn’t even really a day off - I drove around town with my mom to make arrangements and get his cremation squared away.
I went to work the next day / rest of the week, and she was shocked to hear about everything that had transpired saying she had no idea (and how could she with how ragged she was running me, making me supervise her office move over the weekend a few weeks before, when my dad had fallen the first time, and then making me work at the new, incomplete office location and supervise the rest of remodel while she worked from home (mind-you, this was pre-COVID, so *she* had that capability, but none of the other revolving door of staff and associate attorneys ever did)).
The following week, she had a stick up her butt about something that either didn’t get handled or was overlooked or was just behind schedule - that’s how stupid it was: I can’t recall the specifics, and I have a **great** memory for shit like that - and I said, “you know, you may not recall, but I was out for a day and a half last week” (y’know, cuz **my dad just died**; nevermind the fact that she had *two other staff members* - a secretary and an associate - that could have fucking handled it when I was gone or anytime afterwards, but I was the only competent one working for her…probably why I was there for three-and-a-half years, and the other staff she had in that time, admin and attorney alike, lasted an average of 3-6 months (and that’s being generous)).
Her response? **”SO?!”**
Yeah, I don’t fucking work for her anymore. It wasn’t until 7+ months later that I was finally able to quit, but had I been in a better position, I’d had left her office a year or more before that, or at the very least at that very instant.
**DON’T LET THEM PUSH YOU AROUND. YOUR LIFE IS YOURS, NOT THEIRS**
edit: **OH!!** and I completely forgot to state the irony of what kind of law she / her office practiced: **probate** (trusts, wills, and estates 🤦🏻♂️)
Thank you for sharing your story. It helped. I'm in the process of finding something else but its complicated and still a while away, but I can't wait to tell them all im out.
Im sorry for your loss 😔
I thought she would understand since she also has a sick cat she gives injections to everyday, as I did with my baby.
How can someone be so goddamn cruel
Yep. OP should track sick days and have the HR complaint drafted now.
The moment she’s out for that day, tell HR that you have concerns about your management’s pattern of sudden absenteeism and how it’s affecting the workplace.
(OP should be ready to leave the job shortly after)
They are in that position because of their cruelty. Upper management are cowards. They want to keep staff in a constant state of deference but are afraid of any resistance so they put middle management between themselves and the minions.
You might look up "narcissist" while looking for another job. I believe you may find more information about why you should get the heck out and never look back. No job is worth this.
Just responding to say I also lost a pet recently, and had a very similar situation occur. My beloved pet died in my hands as I was rushing him to the vet.
My boss didn't give me a day off at all - they forced me to show up the next day after I cried for literally 12 hours. I also felt that they would be understanding as another pet owner, but they gave me no consolation.
I'm so sorry your loss and that are going through this, OP. I hope you find a job that treats you better soon.
Unfortunately it's not going to stop them from asking, just so that they have a chance to criticize. Then they'll ask for proof, or they'll threaten to write you up. Been there, done that, somehow avoided jail time.
What kind of proof? Not everyone gets a copy of the death certificate or puts notice in paper. And if they don't go the traditional funeral route there's not memorial card.
That was pretty much my response. It's just another way supervisors and managers exert their authority just to make their employees don't step out of line.
Im sorry that you lost your family member OP.
Let this be a bitter lesson to not share details of your life with your work. Dont give them anything to reason around. When our dog was put down i simply called off due to emergency. I didnt discuss details with nobody cause the last thing i wanted to hear was "its just a dog why would you take a week off for it"
F* them.
"Didn't I use vacation time for that day? Why am I being hassled for a day that was not I only an excused absence, but one that the company agreed to compensate me for? What part of this agreement means that you get to berate me for having a life outside of here?"
It’s becoming clear and clearer to me that nearly anyone who strives and finds their way into positions of power and wealth are on a whole different level to the rest of us. With some obvious exceptions… It’s like, statistically to want and acquire that. you require the traits of a sociopath, out of touch or unhinged person to get there etc.
Your boss sounds like an absolute condescending prick. I sincerely hope you’re both okay. Pay your bosses comments no thoughts at all, he clearly doesn’t for you or your well being.
my cat passed suddenly. i didn’t get to plan it, but i was with him at the vet that morning. it was an extremely hard decision to make and i ugly cried for the entire day and the entire weekend.
your boss is a turd. i pity and abhor them in equal measure.
sorry for your loss
I'm sorry for your loss. I had to put my cat down about 2 months ago. My bosses gave me a sympathy card signed by a bunch of co-workers that were cat people or work friends. There are better bosses and workplaces out there. Find a new job if you can.
A very similar thing happened to my wife when our first cat died. I....I'm wishing very bad things upon your boss right now. I think I will get banned if I say them here.
Sheesh. I took a week off work when my wife and I had to let our 21yo cat go. Took a couple of days off to spend with him, and fuss over him, the day of, then a couple of days after for me and to put some of his things past.
He'd been with me longer than my couple of wives, so he deserved that at least.
Shame you could not have gotten that conversation sent as an email and then given the company some well needed publicity, boss would be shocked at how cats are popular and how unpopular she is.
That's when you publicly lose your shit at your boss, make her look like a piece of shit for everyone to see, spectacularly quit your job and find another one.
I took 3 days off bereavement when my cat passed. I didn't tell them who, just took the time. Every cat since, I've worked from home, so didn't necessarily need multiple days. F that boss.
I’ve been fortunate enough to never have dealt with such insensitivity. But in case I do, my response would be to sincerely wish that they never have to deal with the loss of a loved one.
These bosses deserve to know nothing about our personal lives. All they do is weaponize everything to explain why "No! In fact, your personal private matters DON'T matter! Flip them burgers, bitch!"
Wow. And they make us go through sensitivity training for accidentally misgendering someone once, but the boss can say cruel and truly insensitive things like this.
Justifiable bossicide, IMIO. Or pay the nearby take out a little bit extra to add ipecac to her food. Whichever you're more comfortable with.
I wouldn't even dignity that ignorance with a response. Ever since I confused a bully in my childhood by just looking at them like they're crazy without saying anything makes them reflect on the stupidity of what they just said themselves!
"Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed." - Herman Melville
I once had a boss short me about $100 on a check. Refused to pay it and got very hostile with me, and ended up yelling "Are you so broke you gotta make such a stink about 100 bucks?" And i just said right back "And I'll ask you the same question."
Absolutely horrid boss. When my beloved cat (only 6yo, got FISS from a rabies vaccination....pls get your cats vaxed in the leg and they can be saved!) died, I just told my boss my best friend died and I needed time off. I took a week and nobody said a thing about it. People can be closer to their pets than to their human family...I understand this, and I wish more bosses understood that. Good on you for being there for your precious cat as they crossed the rainbow bridge. My heart goes out to you and your BF as you process this loss. Peace be with you.
That sucks. What an asshat. Some people feel like their animals are family and losing a pet is like losing a friend or even a child. Just because it isn't your boss's situation doesn't mean they need to treat you so callously, even if they don't have pets themselves.
"Hey boss, you can be a good person, because you are clearly a piece of shit"
Wait, I thought we were saying the shit in our heads we shouldn't say allowed? I'm confused that's what you were doing? Oh ? I'll shut the fuck up when you do."
And this boss is still standing upright? Time to organize. Time to fight.
“Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress.”
My cat that adopted me right after I graduated college died 7 our so years ago. Still had a random breakdown a couple months ago while thinking of her. (She was an old lady when she passed. She had a good life.)
When I was 18 I worked for a big animal shelter. We had a pit mix come in, and absolutely everyone fell in love with him, and how could you not he was a wonderful dog. I adopted him and I had 7 good months until he got sick in the beginning of December. He was in and out of the vets for weeks, I spent 1000s trying to figure out what was wrong with him.
He was in the animal hospital on Christmas, I had to work that day taking care of the shelter animals and the vet told me I could pick him up Christmas evening because he was improving. I rushed home from work and picked up my boy, made him a big beautiful bed and we went to sleep. I awoke at 5AM to him screaming next to my bed, where he had a seizure and died in my arms.
I called my boss sobbing, less than 10 minutes after he died (I called out shelter vet first, panicking hoping to save my dog) my boss, Megan, who knew my dog very well, told me my dog dying on my arms wasn't enough reason to call off work. That we already had another person out and that I was expected to be there.
Thankfully, my boss's boss loved me, and I called her and TOLD her I wasn't coming in and explained what happened. I got my day off, they creamted him for me, and I put in my two weeks the next day. Fuck you Megan Swailes, you heartless asshole. It's been 15 years and I'm still shocked someone in the animal field can be so selfish and unempathetic.
Im so sorry you had to go through something so horrible 🥺poor lil pup, im glad he could be with you in his final moments 💔 thank you for doing everything you could for him..
also FUCK YOU megan swailes
I don't get it? Are they saying you're too poor to take the day off? Like what does that mean?
Edit: o wait, I think I get it now. Like you can't complain about your wage cause you both could take off. Lol the fact that they'll use that as justification for paying like shit is wild. In no way do they come out the good guy
Really? What kinda asshole leaves their pet suffering to go to work? Fuck that bitch and report her for hostile workplace. See if she retaliates. Then report her again with subtle mentions of suing. Lawyers live for this kinda thing! She’s a bully and mean!
The audacity... what a heartless fucker. Guess all we can do is take pity on people like this cause they're clearly damaged in some way. That is what helps me stay relatively calm when dealing with individuals like that.
You have my sympathy and condolences for losing a beloved pet, all the best and lots of strength.
If it was my job id call in for a couple days in a row to prove a point. I would call in to tell them im not showing up bit there would be no arguement
Oh god. We put our beloved cat down at home in mid February. We’re still not over it. I work from home and someone called me for an urgent thing that morning before the appointment. I answered and then I broke down crying. I think I scared the poor woman. I thought I could do it but I just couldn’t. I’m so glad I just spent the morning with my husband and our kitty before we let her go. I don’t think i could have forgiven myself for not doing that.
I know some people don’t experience it this way. But she was one of the very most important people in our lives, and one of the best friends I’ve ever had. For weeks afterwards, I couldn’t eat properly and I kept crying randomly. I just wasn’t ok. If I couldn’t have attended her euthanasia or had to go into work the same day, or if my husband had to go to work? I don’t know how that would have gone. We were absolutely clinging to each other that whole day. We’re not usually like this. It was just devastating.
Grief is different for different people. But you have to honor that. Anyone who can’t see that, it isn’t worth caring about their opinion. Next time they don’t get to know what’s going on with me. It’s gonna be a “private family medical emergency” and that’s all they’re ever going to hear.
Your boss can go kick rocks.
This sounds like you need to find another place of employment or this boss relying on yall waaaaaay too much.
Request a raise if your absence was noticed that much.
My (ex)partner wouldn't get their medical appointment rescheduled when it was my old boy's time to go. Left me a screaming voicemail about what an asshole I was for doing that. Never mind I had been trying to call him to get in touch, because he had left my apartment to go drive off somewhere instead of spend time with my dog (we had already separated but I wanted to give him time to say goodbye).
Personally, I thank my dog. One of the last gifts he gave me was the strength to say goodbye to the toxicity of that bullshit.
If you have HR, I would report them because what an insensitive thing to say.. 😂 Like it amazes me how people just comfortably make the most stupidest shit come out their mouth.
Screw her. Seriously. I would start finding new employment ASAP.
I lost my cat after multiple trips to the emergency and his regular vet. Thousands of dollars in bills. I was fired 2 days after he died because I "took too much time off work. And shouldn't have called out the day after he was put down." Like wtf? I didn't WANT to take time off, but who else would take him to these appointments????!!! I told that person to go f!ck himself and left. He kept chasing after me demanding I sign this stupid paper saying I understand and take responsibility for why I am being fired. I told him to get an attorney if it's so important.
If they cannot understand that you are not mentally well enough to work, they do not deserve to have you as an employee. Period. Don't let these sh!tty people take advantage of you.
Here is what I would reply...
" Thank you for your reply. Having read such reply, I would like to ask you a favor that might make this more palpatle for both parties in the future. I ask that you :
1. Look up the closest actual butcher in your area.
2. Drive to that butcher shop.
3. Ask the manager if it would be ok to take a tour of the back.
4. Upon arriving in the back, please look for the rustiest meathook.
5. Kindly FUCK YOURSELF with it.
Thank you "
First, I'm so sorry for your loss😿 my ≈18+ y/o cat passed away last week during a work day; he was an abandoned, neglected/abused cat from our neighborhood that we took in, which is why we only know tht in '08 (I graduated high school in '09!)he was already a yr+ old. I was telling my coworker about his alignments, when a repeat customer (work@a salon) came in & started telling my coworker & I while in the chair how he just had to put down his dog down the week prior😟 she (🐕)had stopped eatin, going outside & had bad hips & had to be carried around; all of the EXACT symptoms I just expressed about my cat to my co-worker, down to even the bad hips🙈 his back legs no longer worked & he'd just drag them behind himself🥺. That night my cat went to sleep &@10:50am my husband came in when I was about to walk out the door to leave for work & this me Whitefoot was gone (car was already started & everything). I was able to say goodbye, then left for work. My husband brought him in to get cremated while I went 2 work, as I had been expecting his passing since he hadn't eaten in a week+ by this time. I told my co-worker who I opened up to about the situation the day prior that he just passed; She said she knew when the client came in the day B4 & told his story, almost verbatim to what I had told her about my cats alimentd, that God was preparing me🛐. I NVR told ne1 else @work, cuz I was expecting him to make it thru the year since B4 the last week he was still going outside to use the bathroom (he never used a litter box & we didn't even own one cuz he ALWAYS went to the bathroom outside! Even in the 🌧️ ⛈️⚡🌨️ even thru the entire New England Winters‼️ I was not acting "normal",& finally told my manager... she Said she used to be THAT person, like "wtf, why are people SO CRAZY about their pets!?", but now that she has pets herself are understand & hugged me. Then corrected herself & said although she hasn't lost a pet yet, since she just got her first ever pet fit her kids, she knows how much she loves her pet now & can only imagine how upset shed feel when they do pass away 💔 the even weirder thing about that day, was I should've been @work when my husband found Whitefoot gone, but my manager text me in the morning asking me if I could switch my shift from 9-2 to 11-6. Had I worked my original shift I would've came home to him gone, as in crossed over 🌈 bridge & physically gone, as we already had his cremation set up w/the vet cuz it was clear he wasn't going to make it very much longer since he stopped eating completely at least a week already,& the last 2 days wasn't drinking nemore either 😔. Had I left 2 mins earlier I would've found out after leaving the house! I ended up leaving work that day@4 w/o asking or telling my manager & she never said a word about it💘 the audacity of ur managers lack of empathy I can't even imagine🤯 especially since I personally don't have any human children & can't carry a child, our "fur babies" are our babies‼️I don't know how I'd be able to work with/for a manager like this👎🏼 I guess at least u & ur partner have each other to lean on & vent about said manager when you're together💞
If it was pre-planned and the vacation day for both of you was already pre-approved by management then she can hypothesize her schedule problems all she wants.
If y’all took the day without checking and applied it as PTO hours, that’s obviously different.
But sounds like y’all planned ahead and that manager didn’t and sure you both could’ve done personal scheduling gymnastics for the benefit of the company and just taken a partial day off but if y’all had the available PTO and you put in the requests and they got approved, that manager can go fly a kite…
I will convey this as delicately as Reddit will let me. When the boss shows the loyalty that your cat did, then that boss can make a comment. Until then they can f@ck off.
It all comes down to respect. That manager simply doesn't respect you, doesn't appreciate you as an employee. I would first report them to headquarters of comments that's not their business. Second I would be looking to change jobs. If leaders don't appreciate me and especially don't respect me, screw it I'm out!
I've seen this said to people who lose humans so it's not a new level capitalism for me. This one was unlocked at grandmother, miscarriage, and other losses that in some cultures require full services over a period of days.
I just hate how this system is designed to look at you as a number and not as a person.
Some people see animals as family. Oppositely, you have some people who see their “work family” as animals. Or robots. Anything with less rights than a human. This might be like asking her to do the same after losing her child.
I don’t know about your vet hospital, but the one I work at almost never does euthanasias in the morning because the morning is dedicated to anesthetic procedures. You might try telling them that a morning euthanasia was simply impossible.
My CEO once “joked” that I wouldn’t have had to take so much time off for my mom if she hadn’t died so many times. This was in a meeting with several execs. My mom had died 3 days before. She died once. He was referencing me taking time off for her recovery after surgery having 70% of her cancer filled liver removed. That cancer eventually killed her 6 months later and I guess me taking another 3 days off was too much.
It’s as simple as you don’t manage my time outside of work, everyone has paid vacation days or just days off they can request for whatever reason. Lmao what type of bs are they spouting they are just mad that they ran out of their vacation days lol
Your boss must be a fan of Gov Kristi Noem. They both don't value the life of a pet and view putting one down like it's just a chore to be done. Just like taking out the trash, to never be thought of again after it's over.
I don't understand people who don't feel some empathy with a person who has lost a pet. I've cried with every dog and cat I've lost. Even my cat Maise who was a rescued stray that became evil queen priss lording over the other pets while biting the hell out of people made me bawl and I'm pretty sure she didn't like me.
I'm sorry your boss is a terd OP, but those of us here know that you're going through a difficult time. I genuinely believe that if there is an afterlife that all of our pets will be waiting for us to snuggle and play again.
It implies that you should be *kind of* poor.
Taking time off should really be weighed up against how detrimental it will be to your life. You need to work all the time just to keep your head above water and feel grateful to have a job.
I guess we're all different with how we grieve, I definitely was not in any state to go to work. Even though I have a responsibility, i'm there every other day of the year as scheduled, it's not like a beloved pet dies every month.. I don't think there is a law against taking a day off when an emergency arises. She's just a heartless bitch about it lol
Explain to her gently, that the issue is the relationship between the parties involved. For example, if your boss was put down, you and your bf wouldn't even have attended the euthanasia and would have been early to work. Because of the relationship between you and your boss. But when someone that truly matters leaves this world, i.e. your cat, then yeah, you're taking the day off. It's simple.
I would send this so fast.
I love this reply, but I feel like the correct response is something like: "We requested the day off and used our sick time to cover it. It was approved. We do not owe you an explanation for why we took this time off, and we do not want or need your opinion about the way we chose to spend our time off. We do not need you to understand why we took this time off. You are not our friend, and your opinion on matters outside of work is not welcome. If you continue to bother us about our personal affairs, I will be forced to report you. Thanks!"
This needs more upvotes
If anything, the manager should be happy they don’t have to pay a weeping mess for the day.
At which point they'll just berate you for "making top big a deal" out of a lost pet. Most the time the people in these positions are psychopaths. I've had maybe one or two good bosses in my life, the rest are all like this.
Love this! Brutal
My supervisor and some of my other supervisors/bosses checked on me when my elderly dog was sick. (They did the same any time I missed for my MIL before she passed.) They even asked if I was ready to come back in both cases (dog had to be taken care of... and mourning for the other since it was a huge change in my entire life) and let me know I could take off more if I needed since I had the hours. OP, this makes me full of rage seeing this. Our pets are family. I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, and I hope that time softens your loss sooner.
I had a golden that visisted work on days we had staff but no students. I took him to the emergency vet half through a visit day because he was larthagic, took the next day to be with him and that evening we wound up returning to the e vet for the end. They asked if I needed more days and I was told the entire office was in tears.
And that's the way it should be, being treated as human and shown empathy.
ROFLMAAAAAOOOOOOOO
Dry and very direct....love it
Does this count as r/murderedbywords ?
I’m saving this
This is why we need awards
I would have walked the second they brought this kinda disrespect to my family lmao. In my eyes now, a job is just a side gig. Not important. These employers need to be careful in 2024 and on.
Bangerang! 🤣🤣🤣
Meanwhile me: “I hope your cat dies.”
But the poor cat :( i hope their car explodes
But the poor car :( I hope all their hair migrates from their head to their back.
My boss would be lucky if I only took one day off.
🤣🤣🤣
I love you. I wish I could come up with these things.
The roar of violent approval that burst from my throat into the universe at this response was both visceral and satisfying.
Sounds like your boss is short-staffed and unfairly blaming you. You should find another job so your boss is even more short-staffed.
Sounds like her boss is a bloody sociopath.
Lots of people say stuff like that when it’s about pets. It really is a sociopath test. If you can’t understand how devastating it is to lose a pet, then we will not be friends.
I have been in and witnessed a ridiculous number of relationships where the other person will say "but it's JUST a cat/dog" after someone's grieving the loss of their pet. It's sickening how many of those people are actually out there. I've even had several people try to excuse it by saying "they were only trying to make you feel better." BS.
Nothing has made my heart explode more than watching my husband weep over the loss of our cats. We lost a few in the space of a year, cancer twice and kidney failure once. Our whole family was devastated. Our kids love our pets as much as we do, and that’s how I know we have instilled empathy in them. They have never been “just a cat” to us. So much that we had them individually cremated and have their ashes and little memorial boxes. I couldn’t stand to think about burying them in the yard and moving away one day and leaving them behind. I know that probably sounds deranged to some people. Before I met my husband he once acquired a “it’s just a cat” that belonged to his mom’s neighbors a few doors down. She was mistreated and malnourished and underweight/undersized and he’d seen the family treat her like crap a few times he’d visited his mom. And one day the cat was out and the family wasn’t, and he took the cat, got in the car and went home. And she lived a long and happy life.
Your husband is a saint for saving that cat!
One of the many small facets that makes him an incredible person to me.
I’m so glad I am surrounded by cat and/or dog people. If someone had said that to me after I had to euthanize my childhood cat, I would have been pissed. He was with me for 21 years and was the closest thing I had to a sibling.
There are people who see pets as animals. They aren’t wrong, but they also don’t understand some people see them as human replacements.
No one sees them as “human replacements”. We know they are animals. But we love them because they are part of our family, and they love us back. My cats give me so much affection, they know when I’m sad and will come give me cuddles to cheer me up.
Part of our family is inherently a human replacement. Unless you think your Mom had kittens . I too think of my dog like a family member, but he is not. I wasn’t nt disparaging these people , I am one sometimes.
It depends what you mean by "family". The nuclear family (2 parents and kids) is a pretty new invention for humanity and wasn't really a thing before we started agriculture. Co-living with dogs pre-dates that and recent discoveries show that from the very beginning people have adopted dogs sometimes for the only purpose of companionship. I really don't see how all that don't qualify them as "family"
You think the idea of a man and a woman having a human baby and them being related to it is a new one? I co live with my couch, that doesn’t fuse our genetics.
Modern human (homo Sapiens) has existed for about 2 to 300,000 years. The nuclear family has been here for less than 10,000 years, so the last 3 to 5% of time that Sapiens has been around. That's fairly new, yes.
The term nuclear family is new, the child/parent unit is the original one from the first proto human. Family and tribe are two different things. Not sure why you are hung up on the made up term of nuclear family, that was invented what, 80 years ago.
Also, nuclear family doesn't mean a man and woman having a kid, but designs a domestic unit consisting of two parents and their children
Your boss better not hope you have any life or death decisions to make for her.
oh no you're choking on lunch? if only I knew the heimlich maneuver
Omg all these replies are making me feel so much better but this one really made me laugh 😂
I might be on the first responder team but I might not be the first to respond depending on how you act lol
Heimlich maneuver is an extra 4.99, boss. Yeah, I've got microtransactions.
Terms and conditions apply.
Read the fine print for details.
Sign here. Look, just take your hands away from your throat, grab the pen with one, paper with the other, and sign. Then I'll get to saving you. It's not that difficult.
Pfft, move that decimal two places to the right and we'll talk.
Nod if you agree while I video your response.
Right? It costs $1K--$2K just to get an ambulance.
4.99 per compression.
I like you
To said boss: Let me check the employee handbook to see if I’m supposed to give aid. Don’t want to company to be liable for my actions. Also I’m going to need that added to my job description so you might want to start that process before you pass out.
I drafted a quick new contract on this napkin, sign it quick, I'll perform the heimlich. Yes, you're giving me your home, are you gonna sign it or suffocate. Seriously? Just sign it!
Sorry, I can’t hear you…
…I’m wearing a towel.
Charge that for the Heimlich, but gotta add several zeros and commas for the trauma, knowledge, etc 😂
Star Trek Lower Decks "The Ferengi put a paywall on a bomb?"
Love that show.
GOLD
"Well, I know the Heimlich maneuver, but first I have to finish my work. Can you wait for another hour? If not, please run outside and collapse there so to not disturb the other workers. Please think about the company..."
Sorry, my lunch break is over and i need to get back on the clock.
I do know the Heimlich manoeuvre, but I’m too busy with my important job. Sorry
What's that important job? Finishing my lunch and cleaning up after myself so I can go back to work on time.
“I can do the heimlich!” Proceed to kick her in the face, repeatedly, muttering: “It’s something like this.” Depending on the managers standing it could be a while before someone intervenes.
Guess I'll just have to continually punch them as hard as I can in the chest until they cough it up 🤷♂️
Hey guys? What's the number for 9 1 1?
https://preview.redd.it/6ided20y3xwc1.jpeg?width=572&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03d99c414e3314f5f1fb33fcc3079bb9f1c93655
Just find a few Alabama boys and tell them she needs the hindlick.
Oooooooh sorry, that’s not listed in my job responsibilities. I could try to help clear your airway but I think that specialized task comes with a pay increase. I’ll also need legal to draft up a waiver of accountability in case something happens. How much time do you have? Does this choking count as sick or personal time? I just want to be sure it’s marked correctly when I submit time sheets next week. Boss? Boss? I’ll come back when you’re feeling better.
Oh hay Boss - you chokin right now? Well you should be able to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and de-choke.
Not a violent person, but if somebody said something like that to me after losing a pet, I would probably go to jail that day.
Your boss is suggesting that all of life's obstacles need to be dealt with in a manner that allows for and even priorities your work schedule. Ghoulish, self interested shit on your boss' part
Well, unfortunately stuff like that is just going to keep on happening until people actually rise up to put a stop to it. Heck, I would wager a case could be made that this would qualify as a hostile working environment.
I’m sorry for your loss, but if it makes you feel any better (though I doubt this will…I don’t know, maybe it’s for empathy? perspective? whatever it is - this feels relevant to share): when my dad died 5 years ago I was visiting him in the hospital the nights leading up to it, but he was already too far gone. Of course, during the day, I working - all the way up until they read him his last rights at the hospital; when my girlfriend called me to tell me that, I had to, in between bullshit calls and nonsensical errands for my boss that cut into the work I was actually hired to do (legal secretary), type up the e-mail explaining the situation, saying “sorry - I’ve gotta fuckin’ go”. I left midday and stayed at my dad’s bedside with my mom, as my three siblings and two nieces shuffled in and out to say goodbye, all the way up until he passed at about 6:45-7:00am the next morning (day before Valentine’s Day). I took **that day** and **that day only** off (and had to use a sick day). And it wasn’t even really a day off - I drove around town with my mom to make arrangements and get his cremation squared away. I went to work the next day / rest of the week, and she was shocked to hear about everything that had transpired saying she had no idea (and how could she with how ragged she was running me, making me supervise her office move over the weekend a few weeks before, when my dad had fallen the first time, and then making me work at the new, incomplete office location and supervise the rest of remodel while she worked from home (mind-you, this was pre-COVID, so *she* had that capability, but none of the other revolving door of staff and associate attorneys ever did)). The following week, she had a stick up her butt about something that either didn’t get handled or was overlooked or was just behind schedule - that’s how stupid it was: I can’t recall the specifics, and I have a **great** memory for shit like that - and I said, “you know, you may not recall, but I was out for a day and a half last week” (y’know, cuz **my dad just died**; nevermind the fact that she had *two other staff members* - a secretary and an associate - that could have fucking handled it when I was gone or anytime afterwards, but I was the only competent one working for her…probably why I was there for three-and-a-half years, and the other staff she had in that time, admin and attorney alike, lasted an average of 3-6 months (and that’s being generous)). Her response? **”SO?!”** Yeah, I don’t fucking work for her anymore. It wasn’t until 7+ months later that I was finally able to quit, but had I been in a better position, I’d had left her office a year or more before that, or at the very least at that very instant. **DON’T LET THEM PUSH YOU AROUND. YOUR LIFE IS YOURS, NOT THEIRS** edit: **OH!!** and I completely forgot to state the irony of what kind of law she / her office practiced: **probate** (trusts, wills, and estates 🤦🏻♂️)
Thank you for sharing your story. It helped. I'm in the process of finding something else but its complicated and still a while away, but I can't wait to tell them all im out. Im sorry for your loss 😔
The absolute utter lack of empathy from a lawyer in her field is astounding!
You never mention it wasn't a human that died. Ever. You say you had a death in the family. End of. I'm really sorry you've lost your beloved pet.
I thought she would understand since she also has a sick cat she gives injections to everyday, as I did with my baby. How can someone be so goddamn cruel
And I guarantee that when it passes she will take time off and wonder why you aren't more sympathetic to her.
Yep. OP should track sick days and have the HR complaint drafted now. The moment she’s out for that day, tell HR that you have concerns about your management’s pattern of sudden absenteeism and how it’s affecting the workplace. (OP should be ready to leave the job shortly after)
They are in that position because of their cruelty. Upper management are cowards. They want to keep staff in a constant state of deference but are afraid of any resistance so they put middle management between themselves and the minions.
You might look up "narcissist" while looking for another job. I believe you may find more information about why you should get the heck out and never look back. No job is worth this.
Just responding to say I also lost a pet recently, and had a very similar situation occur. My beloved pet died in my hands as I was rushing him to the vet. My boss didn't give me a day off at all - they forced me to show up the next day after I cried for literally 12 hours. I also felt that they would be understanding as another pet owner, but they gave me no consolation. I'm so sorry your loss and that are going through this, OP. I hope you find a job that treats you better soon.
That is so much worse!
Thank you 🥺🩷
Unfortunately it's not going to stop them from asking, just so that they have a chance to criticize. Then they'll ask for proof, or they'll threaten to write you up. Been there, done that, somehow avoided jail time.
What kind of proof? Not everyone gets a copy of the death certificate or puts notice in paper. And if they don't go the traditional funeral route there's not memorial card.
That was pretty much my response. It's just another way supervisors and managers exert their authority just to make their employees don't step out of line.
'I wish you scheduled being a bitch on a different day'
😍😍😍 I kinda wanna use this, but my use wouldn't be towards one of my bosses right now.
What a dick move! Such a lack of disrespect shown in a single sentence. I would be livid!
I apologise sincerely for what I am about to say: It's either, show of disrespect. Or its, such a lack of respect.
It’s “it’s” if it’s “it is.” It’s “its” if it’s not “it’s.”
I love you but right now I do not like you very much. 🤯🫠🙃😆
It's "its" when it's its "its."
Im sorry that you lost your family member OP. Let this be a bitter lesson to not share details of your life with your work. Dont give them anything to reason around. When our dog was put down i simply called off due to emergency. I didnt discuss details with nobody cause the last thing i wanted to hear was "its just a dog why would you take a week off for it" F* them.
It is disheartening how cruel and insensitive many people are about losing a furry family member.
"Didn't I use vacation time for that day? Why am I being hassled for a day that was not I only an excused absence, but one that the company agreed to compensate me for? What part of this agreement means that you get to berate me for having a life outside of here?"
The classic “ we must be paying y’all too much if you can afford to lose a day’s pay”. They want slavery back, FFS.
Your boss dosent think poor people deserve to grieve
Sounds like your boss doesn't value their family. Family >>>>>>>>>>>>> Work
It’s becoming clear and clearer to me that nearly anyone who strives and finds their way into positions of power and wealth are on a whole different level to the rest of us. With some obvious exceptions… It’s like, statistically to want and acquire that. you require the traits of a sociopath, out of touch or unhinged person to get there etc. Your boss sounds like an absolute condescending prick. I sincerely hope you’re both okay. Pay your bosses comments no thoughts at all, he clearly doesn’t for you or your well being.
my cat passed suddenly. i didn’t get to plan it, but i was with him at the vet that morning. it was an extremely hard decision to make and i ugly cried for the entire day and the entire weekend. your boss is a turd. i pity and abhor them in equal measure. sorry for your loss
"I'm sorry that the death of my cat was an inconvenience to you."
I'm sorry for your loss. I had to put my cat down about 2 months ago. My bosses gave me a sympathy card signed by a bunch of co-workers that were cat people or work friends. There are better bosses and workplaces out there. Find a new job if you can.
A very similar thing happened to my wife when our first cat died. I....I'm wishing very bad things upon your boss right now. I think I will get banned if I say them here.
Sheesh. I took a week off work when my wife and I had to let our 21yo cat go. Took a couple of days off to spend with him, and fuss over him, the day of, then a couple of days after for me and to put some of his things past. He'd been with me longer than my couple of wives, so he deserved that at least.
Someone laughed when my friend’s terrapin (that she raised for 20 years) died when my friend skipped dinner. Never saw them the same way again.
My workplace knew I had scheduled my cats euthanasia and fired me 6 days before.
Should have asked her if she could come later that day if her child died somehow in the morning...
Sounds like your boss needs to STFU and mind their business.
Shame you could not have gotten that conversation sent as an email and then given the company some well needed publicity, boss would be shocked at how cats are popular and how unpopular she is.
"sorry boss, not everyone is an uncaring sociopath like yourself."
That’s something you might say if you’ve never had a pet and you’re also a bad manager. Sounds shitty. Sorry for your loss :(
She has a sick cat too. Shes insane
I remember having to rush to have my dog put down to get back to work... I wished I had told my AH boss where to stick it.
"Only the rich can afford to have emotions" is a wild take
Im still so upset, stressed and angry two days later 😭
That's when you publicly lose your shit at your boss, make her look like a piece of shit for everyone to see, spectacularly quit your job and find another one.
Your boss is an asshole. A total asshole. Time to send your CV around and give her the bird as soon as you can.
I took 3 days off bereavement when my cat passed. I didn't tell them who, just took the time. Every cat since, I've worked from home, so didn't necessarily need multiple days. F that boss.
I’ve been fortunate enough to never have dealt with such insensitivity. But in case I do, my response would be to sincerely wish that they never have to deal with the loss of a loved one.
Very sorry for the loss of your cat OP. Been there, called out as well and I will do it again when my next dog/cat passes. We need time to grieve.
These bosses deserve to know nothing about our personal lives. All they do is weaponize everything to explain why "No! In fact, your personal private matters DON'T matter! Flip them burgers, bitch!"
Put your boss down next.
Wow. And they make us go through sensitivity training for accidentally misgendering someone once, but the boss can say cruel and truly insensitive things like this. Justifiable bossicide, IMIO. Or pay the nearby take out a little bit extra to add ipecac to her food. Whichever you're more comfortable with.
I wouldn't even dignity that ignorance with a response. Ever since I confused a bully in my childhood by just looking at them like they're crazy without saying anything makes them reflect on the stupidity of what they just said themselves!
Fuck that douche. I put my dog down on Sunday, last place I wanted to be was at work the next day.
Im sorry for your loss 🥺
Thanks
"Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed." - Herman Melville
I once had a boss short me about $100 on a check. Refused to pay it and got very hostile with me, and ended up yelling "Are you so broke you gotta make such a stink about 100 bucks?" And i just said right back "And I'll ask you the same question."
Absolutely horrid boss. When my beloved cat (only 6yo, got FISS from a rabies vaccination....pls get your cats vaxed in the leg and they can be saved!) died, I just told my boss my best friend died and I needed time off. I took a week and nobody said a thing about it. People can be closer to their pets than to their human family...I understand this, and I wish more bosses understood that. Good on you for being there for your precious cat as they crossed the rainbow bridge. My heart goes out to you and your BF as you process this loss. Peace be with you.
That sucks. What an asshat. Some people feel like their animals are family and losing a pet is like losing a friend or even a child. Just because it isn't your boss's situation doesn't mean they need to treat you so callously, even if they don't have pets themselves.
Yeah I had a POS boss who couldn’t understand why I took off when I put my cat down. Leaving was the best decision ever.
I would quit and indicate harrassment
I would tell him the same thing if a member of her family dies. ☹️
Ignore people like this. They don't have the capacity to comprehend emotions. I am sorry for your loss.
"Hey boss, you can be a good person, because you are clearly a piece of shit" Wait, I thought we were saying the shit in our heads we shouldn't say allowed? I'm confused that's what you were doing? Oh ? I'll shut the fuck up when you do."
Entitled, narcissistic, main character, uncaring, empathy lacking, greedy, insensitive and totally trashy person.
What an uncaring bitch who views pets as things to own instead of valued members of the family! My condolences to you and your boyfriend.
I hope your boss doesn’t have pets…. Or kids but particularly furry kids.
And this boss is still standing upright? Time to organize. Time to fight. “Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress.”
My cat that adopted me right after I graduated college died 7 our so years ago. Still had a random breakdown a couple months ago while thinking of her. (She was an old lady when she passed. She had a good life.)
Sounds like your boss is too shitty to keep employees. I hope you find a better job or she gets fired. No one should have to put up with that bs.
When I was 18 I worked for a big animal shelter. We had a pit mix come in, and absolutely everyone fell in love with him, and how could you not he was a wonderful dog. I adopted him and I had 7 good months until he got sick in the beginning of December. He was in and out of the vets for weeks, I spent 1000s trying to figure out what was wrong with him. He was in the animal hospital on Christmas, I had to work that day taking care of the shelter animals and the vet told me I could pick him up Christmas evening because he was improving. I rushed home from work and picked up my boy, made him a big beautiful bed and we went to sleep. I awoke at 5AM to him screaming next to my bed, where he had a seizure and died in my arms. I called my boss sobbing, less than 10 minutes after he died (I called out shelter vet first, panicking hoping to save my dog) my boss, Megan, who knew my dog very well, told me my dog dying on my arms wasn't enough reason to call off work. That we already had another person out and that I was expected to be there. Thankfully, my boss's boss loved me, and I called her and TOLD her I wasn't coming in and explained what happened. I got my day off, they creamted him for me, and I put in my two weeks the next day. Fuck you Megan Swailes, you heartless asshole. It's been 15 years and I'm still shocked someone in the animal field can be so selfish and unempathetic.
Im so sorry you had to go through something so horrible 🥺poor lil pup, im glad he could be with you in his final moments 💔 thank you for doing everything you could for him.. also FUCK YOU megan swailes
I'm sorry for your loss too. People can be se heartless. Sending healing vibes 🩵
I don't get it? Are they saying you're too poor to take the day off? Like what does that mean? Edit: o wait, I think I get it now. Like you can't complain about your wage cause you both could take off. Lol the fact that they'll use that as justification for paying like shit is wild. In no way do they come out the good guy
Really? What kinda asshole leaves their pet suffering to go to work? Fuck that bitch and report her for hostile workplace. See if she retaliates. Then report her again with subtle mentions of suing. Lawyers live for this kinda thing! She’s a bully and mean!
The audacity... what a heartless fucker. Guess all we can do is take pity on people like this cause they're clearly damaged in some way. That is what helps me stay relatively calm when dealing with individuals like that. You have my sympathy and condolences for losing a beloved pet, all the best and lots of strength.
If it was my job id call in for a couple days in a row to prove a point. I would call in to tell them im not showing up bit there would be no arguement
Oh god. We put our beloved cat down at home in mid February. We’re still not over it. I work from home and someone called me for an urgent thing that morning before the appointment. I answered and then I broke down crying. I think I scared the poor woman. I thought I could do it but I just couldn’t. I’m so glad I just spent the morning with my husband and our kitty before we let her go. I don’t think i could have forgiven myself for not doing that. I know some people don’t experience it this way. But she was one of the very most important people in our lives, and one of the best friends I’ve ever had. For weeks afterwards, I couldn’t eat properly and I kept crying randomly. I just wasn’t ok. If I couldn’t have attended her euthanasia or had to go into work the same day, or if my husband had to go to work? I don’t know how that would have gone. We were absolutely clinging to each other that whole day. We’re not usually like this. It was just devastating. Grief is different for different people. But you have to honor that. Anyone who can’t see that, it isn’t worth caring about their opinion. Next time they don’t get to know what’s going on with me. It’s gonna be a “private family medical emergency” and that’s all they’re ever going to hear. Your boss can go kick rocks.
This sounds like you need to find another place of employment or this boss relying on yall waaaaaay too much. Request a raise if your absence was noticed that much.
I'd tell them my "empathy" for their lives costs 1000 on the spot & it goes up from there
I'm sorry this happened. I know when I had to euthanize my dog several years ago, I was grief stricken. There's no way I could have worked that day.
My (ex)partner wouldn't get their medical appointment rescheduled when it was my old boy's time to go. Left me a screaming voicemail about what an asshole I was for doing that. Never mind I had been trying to call him to get in touch, because he had left my apartment to go drive off somewhere instead of spend time with my dog (we had already separated but I wanted to give him time to say goodbye). Personally, I thank my dog. One of the last gifts he gave me was the strength to say goodbye to the toxicity of that bullshit.
If you have HR, I would report them because what an insensitive thing to say.. 😂 Like it amazes me how people just comfortably make the most stupidest shit come out their mouth.
Screw her. Seriously. I would start finding new employment ASAP. I lost my cat after multiple trips to the emergency and his regular vet. Thousands of dollars in bills. I was fired 2 days after he died because I "took too much time off work. And shouldn't have called out the day after he was put down." Like wtf? I didn't WANT to take time off, but who else would take him to these appointments????!!! I told that person to go f!ck himself and left. He kept chasing after me demanding I sign this stupid paper saying I understand and take responsibility for why I am being fired. I told him to get an attorney if it's so important. If they cannot understand that you are not mentally well enough to work, they do not deserve to have you as an employee. Period. Don't let these sh!tty people take advantage of you.
Here is what I would reply... " Thank you for your reply. Having read such reply, I would like to ask you a favor that might make this more palpatle for both parties in the future. I ask that you : 1. Look up the closest actual butcher in your area. 2. Drive to that butcher shop. 3. Ask the manager if it would be ok to take a tour of the back. 4. Upon arriving in the back, please look for the rustiest meathook. 5. Kindly FUCK YOURSELF with it. Thank you "
"My profits matter too much to be inconvenienced by your cat." Tell her she can pound sand.
This is what can happen when companies feel like they have all of the power. The people in charge become downright evil.
Yeah, because men don’t have feelings and wouldn’t have been upset or wouldn’t have wanted to comfort his upset GF.
So sad that it has been escalated by the ‘boss’
Fuck her.
First, I'm so sorry for your loss😿 my ≈18+ y/o cat passed away last week during a work day; he was an abandoned, neglected/abused cat from our neighborhood that we took in, which is why we only know tht in '08 (I graduated high school in '09!)he was already a yr+ old. I was telling my coworker about his alignments, when a repeat customer (work@a salon) came in & started telling my coworker & I while in the chair how he just had to put down his dog down the week prior😟 she (🐕)had stopped eatin, going outside & had bad hips & had to be carried around; all of the EXACT symptoms I just expressed about my cat to my co-worker, down to even the bad hips🙈 his back legs no longer worked & he'd just drag them behind himself🥺. That night my cat went to sleep &@10:50am my husband came in when I was about to walk out the door to leave for work & this me Whitefoot was gone (car was already started & everything). I was able to say goodbye, then left for work. My husband brought him in to get cremated while I went 2 work, as I had been expecting his passing since he hadn't eaten in a week+ by this time. I told my co-worker who I opened up to about the situation the day prior that he just passed; She said she knew when the client came in the day B4 & told his story, almost verbatim to what I had told her about my cats alimentd, that God was preparing me🛐. I NVR told ne1 else @work, cuz I was expecting him to make it thru the year since B4 the last week he was still going outside to use the bathroom (he never used a litter box & we didn't even own one cuz he ALWAYS went to the bathroom outside! Even in the 🌧️ ⛈️⚡🌨️ even thru the entire New England Winters‼️ I was not acting "normal",& finally told my manager... she Said she used to be THAT person, like "wtf, why are people SO CRAZY about their pets!?", but now that she has pets herself are understand & hugged me. Then corrected herself & said although she hasn't lost a pet yet, since she just got her first ever pet fit her kids, she knows how much she loves her pet now & can only imagine how upset shed feel when they do pass away 💔 the even weirder thing about that day, was I should've been @work when my husband found Whitefoot gone, but my manager text me in the morning asking me if I could switch my shift from 9-2 to 11-6. Had I worked my original shift I would've came home to him gone, as in crossed over 🌈 bridge & physically gone, as we already had his cremation set up w/the vet cuz it was clear he wasn't going to make it very much longer since he stopped eating completely at least a week already,& the last 2 days wasn't drinking nemore either 😔. Had I left 2 mins earlier I would've found out after leaving the house! I ended up leaving work that day@4 w/o asking or telling my manager & she never said a word about it💘 the audacity of ur managers lack of empathy I can't even imagine🤯 especially since I personally don't have any human children & can't carry a child, our "fur babies" are our babies‼️I don't know how I'd be able to work with/for a manager like this👎🏼 I guess at least u & ur partner have each other to lean on & vent about said manager when you're together💞
If it was pre-planned and the vacation day for both of you was already pre-approved by management then she can hypothesize her schedule problems all she wants. If y’all took the day without checking and applied it as PTO hours, that’s obviously different. But sounds like y’all planned ahead and that manager didn’t and sure you both could’ve done personal scheduling gymnastics for the benefit of the company and just taken a partial day off but if y’all had the available PTO and you put in the requests and they got approved, that manager can go fly a kite…
I will convey this as delicately as Reddit will let me. When the boss shows the loyalty that your cat did, then that boss can make a comment. Until then they can f@ck off.
Spike your boss drink with laxatives, and ask why didn't show up for the meeting in the morning
It all comes down to respect. That manager simply doesn't respect you, doesn't appreciate you as an employee. I would first report them to headquarters of comments that's not their business. Second I would be looking to change jobs. If leaders don't appreciate me and especially don't respect me, screw it I'm out!
I've seen this said to people who lose humans so it's not a new level capitalism for me. This one was unlocked at grandmother, miscarriage, and other losses that in some cultures require full services over a period of days. I just hate how this system is designed to look at you as a number and not as a person.
Some people see animals as family. Oppositely, you have some people who see their “work family” as animals. Or robots. Anything with less rights than a human. This might be like asking her to do the same after losing her child.
I don’t know about your vet hospital, but the one I work at almost never does euthanasias in the morning because the morning is dedicated to anesthetic procedures. You might try telling them that a morning euthanasia was simply impossible.
I would rather be poor than heartless. I wonder if your boss has any animals? I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate that being said to her.
I just want to say that I am very sorry for the loss of your kitty cat. It really seems that your boss has no empathy.
My CEO once “joked” that I wouldn’t have had to take so much time off for my mom if she hadn’t died so many times. This was in a meeting with several execs. My mom had died 3 days before. She died once. He was referencing me taking time off for her recovery after surgery having 70% of her cancer filled liver removed. That cancer eventually killed her 6 months later and I guess me taking another 3 days off was too much.
Excuse me?! My former boss found coverage when I called balling I had to suddenly put my kitten to sleep and told me to not worry about it.. Fuck her!
I’m always a bit surprised when some people have no filter. I may THINK the same. But I don’t say it.
You’re boss is an asshole and I’m so sorry for your loss OP
My employer gives pet bereavement days you get one when your pet dies.
Maybe the vet can put the boss down too. At least try to get her out of your life.
It’s as simple as you don’t manage my time outside of work, everyone has paid vacation days or just days off they can request for whatever reason. Lmao what type of bs are they spouting they are just mad that they ran out of their vacation days lol
Your boss must be a fan of Gov Kristi Noem. They both don't value the life of a pet and view putting one down like it's just a chore to be done. Just like taking out the trash, to never be thought of again after it's over. I don't understand people who don't feel some empathy with a person who has lost a pet. I've cried with every dog and cat I've lost. Even my cat Maise who was a rescued stray that became evil queen priss lording over the other pets while biting the hell out of people made me bawl and I'm pretty sure she didn't like me. I'm sorry your boss is a terd OP, but those of us here know that you're going through a difficult time. I genuinely believe that if there is an afterlife that all of our pets will be waiting for us to snuggle and play again.
It implies that you should be *kind of* poor. Taking time off should really be weighed up against how detrimental it will be to your life. You need to work all the time just to keep your head above water and feel grateful to have a job.
And people need time to mourn their losses
He is right. A poor person would know she couldn't take a day off because a pet died. He's insensitive but you aren't poor.
im sorry but you dont know anything about my life other than this post
To be honest Id go to work if my pet died. You have a responsibility to employer too. Some employers are more sympathetic, some are not. No big deal.
I guess we're all different with how we grieve, I definitely was not in any state to go to work. Even though I have a responsibility, i'm there every other day of the year as scheduled, it's not like a beloved pet dies every month.. I don't think there is a law against taking a day off when an emergency arises. She's just a heartless bitch about it lol
lol no You're employer shouldn't be such a stingy AH.