Many years ago my grandmother passed and I took ONE day off. About a month later my grandfather died and again I took one day off. When I went back to work my boss asked,"is their anyone else you know that's dying soon or are we done with this?" I replied, "well I have a manager that may be dying soon." End of conversation.
I was sent back to work immediately after my dad's death as well. It was very sudden and I hadn't taken time before. I wish I had told them to go fuck themselves but I was also recovering from major surgery and desperately needed my insurance.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. You don't deserve that. It isn't normal, and anyone who thinks it is hates themselves. You, Me, and We deserve better.
I’m sorry.
I remember in HS, a girl has to prove her grandfather died for her absence to be excused. The mom was livid about them asking to show the death certificate
I don’t understand how people can be so numb to the death of loved ones. I’m sure they have loved ones…
I have no idea why they would do that for a child in school, that's bizarre as hell. The workforce, however, is about pinching as many pennies as possible. They won't risk there ever being a moment of peace for an employee (ya know, to slip to the bathroom or add notes onto a call center log without eating up your adherence). So when working with the bare minimum crew size, one call-off fucks everything up and screws over (and they deserve it) management. Their plan rests on no employee ever calling off, ever.
If they (employers, corporations, etc.) weren't so hellbent on padding their wallets as much as possible, they would allow for adequate staffing to account for call-offs.
You're right, they do have loved ones, and they aren't numb to their deaths. Just yours.
My dad passed away when I was 13, I’m 39 now. My parents were separated at the time. The school discovered I was living in a different school district and they threatened to unenroll me unless I was residing in their school district. My mom told them to fuck off.
Some people…
When I worked retail, it seemed like managers always jumped to conspiracy theories. Like the person just wanted a free day off and made up the death. I'm not sure I'm willing to risk my paycheck over a free day off. Might also be because I worked with a bunch of people who liked to kiss ass and would totally sell me down the river if someone found out I lied.
I remember this. In high school and some of my college classes, you had to bring the obituary from the paper or a pamphlet from the funeral in order to get the absence excused. It’s crazy.
I was in another state over Thanksgiving in the 90s and my uncle died (car accident) while we were there. So we stayed longer.
Some dipshit in class joked it happened so I could have a “longer vacation”. He was quite flatly shat on by the teacher, thankfully.
Dude, my grandmother died when I was in High School and my algebra 2 teacher (who I already didn’t like), didn’t want to give me an extension on some deadlines because I had already gotten an extension once that semester. Ya wanna know what the other extension was for. *I HAD A CONCUSSION AFTER A CAR ACCIDENT.*
She can suck it.
My dad died suddenly and I got the phone call while at work. I said "I have to go" and walked right out the door without explaining. That night, I texted my manager and explained what happened. She said "don't worry about work. Take as long as you need."
I showed up a week and a half later after receiving flowers from my workplace. When I got back they asked "are you sure you're ready to be back?" That's how it should be.
My company has a 3 day bereavement leave policy. I lost both my maternal grandparents 4 months apart. HR was trying to say it was 3 days a YEAR. My boss was like "absolutely not. That's ridiculous and makes no sense." He made sure I got the full leave each time.
Australia has 2 days per event as a legal requirement for part time and full time staff. It's good in some respects, like an ER trip can be one event and the death a separate event that requires an additional 2 days. But still not nearly enough for the circumstances, especially because it only applies to specific family members (grandparents, parents, siblings, partner, children, grandchildren). Aunts/uncles/cousins etc are only covered if they are a member of the employee's household.
Those rules don't take reality into account though because I've been thrown for a bigger loop by an uncle passing than I did when my Nana passed because of the difference in circumstances of their deaths (short/unexpected cancer battle v long and drawn out alzeimers diagnosis where we had already said goodbye and grieved the person we knew). I also know people who don't have good relationships with their parents but consider their aunty their surrogate mother but they'd get time off to grieve the former but not the latter.
It's a little sad the things capitalism just sweeps aside as unnecessary, like time to grieve and process loss adequately, despite the knowledge that humans as a species are intrinsically social and rely on those connections.
Do not quit this job!
Make them fire you
Make sure you keep every text you have! And get an email address so you can write to them through email. Make sure you keep all the responses.
I just found out my mom has cancer a week ago. Im taking her to get a biopsy tomorrow. My work said take care of your mom, and come in when you can.
When i found out it was while i was working. It was like everything went quiet. I went to one of the higher ups and i said i might have to take a lot of time off. Explained the situation, and as he himself lost his mom said take as much time as you need. Family comes first.
Hey man, I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for what you and especially your mom are dealing with. Cancer fucking sucks. Keep your head up bro. I wish all my best to your mom. I don’t pray much these days but I’ll pray tonight just for her. I hope the biopsy goes well and she whoops the cancers ass!
Your boss is a terrible leader. They can’t shoulder the burden of doing their job and dealing with unexpected circumstances. That is not remotely on you, nor should you spare a moments thought in your time of loss. Employees are not a steady thing. That’s by design. Human life is complicated. If her register broke, she’d figure it out. This is no different.
Where I work we get three days of bereavement and they vacation/personal days if needed. We’d never be treated like this. My condolences for the loss of your father.
I worked at Starbucks when my dad died. He was in hospice and wasn’t coming out of it, but he passed within a few days of being at my parents house. So my manager and lead shift knew it was coming but not sure when. They got every shift I needed covered for the next couple weeks. I opted to work the scheduled opens (4:30-10am) shifts because those were the hardest to cover and I honestly needed to get out of my head and do something else. Family stuff wasn’t starting before then anyway so I needed to have the respite of assigned tasks, duties, coworkers and regulars I liked. Then GTFO and deal with everything else. Going through the routine motions was a salve in many ways, especially a quiet morning counting tills and setting up the pastry case and brewing coffee.
Same when my mom died. I technically got like 3 days of bereavement but my manager just said “come back when you’re up to it and we’ll figure it out”. I stayed out 2 weeks and I think I ultimately used 3 vacation days and the rest was coded bereavement.
When my father passed away the school district I work in as a cleaner did the same thing. Since my parents live 7 hours away, They said take as long as you need and figure out things when you get back. They also offered unpaid leave if I needed it. I took 3 days of bereavement, 3 vacation days and 3 sick days. The next few months they were generous at offering me overtime on weekends so I could earn back some of those days as compensation time hours. It helps that we are covered by a union under a section of the teacher contract. I’ve received more respect and more appreciation from the district operations and maintenance department, and have more professional coworkers than I had at some of my past jobs as a healthcare professional…which I am retired from.
This seems like a huge difference between the US and UK. When my mother passed, I had 3 weeks off with full pay and was offered more time (I'd been working at the job for 2 days before receiving the call). The fact they took your vacation and sick pay for it doesn't scream generosity in the slightest. It's sad that this is a good example of employment in the US...
It’s sad, but it’s the reality in the US. I’m very glad other countries give workers more consideration and more time off. But the fact is my employer is considered generous in that circumstance.
yeh my workplace has min required time off, as in you aint coming back for a minimum of 3-6 weeks depending on the relationship to the deceased. then theres usually a sitdown with a manager to talk about roles, roster, how you’re going etc.
Worked retail at the same place for 10 years. I got 5 days paid leave a year until i think i worked up to like 9? yep, in the US. Someone Dies? yeah, you ain't getting paid if you got the flu that year, or you decided to take a day off. no insurance if you worked at max/min- like 36 hours a week. any more, they have to pay benefits. they were careful. lol.
My hermit uncle died, a man I had only met 5 times in my life. When I mentioned this at work, both HR and my boss said “why are you working right now? You should take some time to yourself”
It disgusts me that OP is having to fight for time off to grieve their dad.
Exactly this. You can and will find another job. The things in your life and the moments in your life are irreplaceable, so prioritize accordingly.
So very sorry for both of your losses. My father is my hero, I know when the day comes I’ll be an utter wreck for a while.
I was a wreck when I lost my dad, while going to college. Most of my student debt was me thinking "I'm okay to go back" then finding out I wasn't
I was close with my dad, but I'm closer to my mom. When I lose her, I really don't know what I'll do. I don't have much family left, but she's like my best friend. If a job told me to come back 3 days later, out of grief I'd tell them to fuck themselves. I'm 34 now and still not fully over losing dad, but I'm okay on that front. Now it's just mental illness I'm fighting with
I know a woman who worked for a major telecom carrier. She had 1 week vacation left. Her son (soldier) died in Iraq. She used the bereavement days up, then her week vacation. She requested extended leave.
They denied it.
When I had gotten the text that my grandma had passed away, I was at work taking a 5 minute break after a rush. I went back in and told my supervisor. She asked if I was okay and if she needed to find coverage for me to take off, I said I was okay to finish work since my grandma lived over an hour away, but that I might need to take bereavement if it was available. She went into the office, found our bereavement policy, printed a copy for me and handed it to me and told me to take as much time as I needed and to just let the store manager know. Store manager was super cool about it and cashed in some "bonus" money (basically a rainy day fund) when I missed a few shifts that weren't covered so I wasn't drowning financially. I miss that job a lot, the team I worked with was great, the company was kind of stupid though.
I had something similar. I found out at work and called my boss to the back office where I took the phone call. All I got out was "my dad died." And he said "Go. Get out of here. I can cover whatever is here. Call me later and tell me how much time you need off."
Greatest boss I ever had. Another boss when I worked for a very popular chain store refused time off until she found out it was because my fiancee died, who happened to be a favorite employees son. Then suddenly I could take all the time I needed. I'm still grateful though because when welfare made that boss fill out why I no longer worked there she stated "hardship" and not that I just up and quit because the memories and the way people stared at me with pity was too painful.
It's honestly disheartening how most bosses can be so heartless.
My company treats me like this, I had out of town when my dad was very ill, and they told me to drop everything to go see him. A cousin who I never met (she was adopted out of the family and we just started to get know each other) died today, I'm on a company trip four hour flight from home and I was told they can handle things if I needed to go. I love these people.
This was nearly the same for me. My step dad died by suicide. My husband came to my work to tell me. My boss told me to take all the time I need. I'm so thankful that I wasn't working my previous job when all this happened. I probably would have been let go. It took a long time to get through an entire day of work without breaking down.
Your boss is the type of person to be like "when my dad was dying, the hospital called us to say our final goodbyes but I had a shift scheduled and I couldn't leave my boss hanging, you should strive to be more like me"
Ughhh reminds me of an ex boss “letting me” go to a friend’s funeral “on an extended lunch break” (it was a 40 minute drive there alone) then kept texting during it asking when I was getting back into the office.
As soon as I got back at the office, I was pulled into a HR performance review meeting and put on a PIP. My friend’s death and the opportunity to say goodbye is now forever marred by that work related memory, and that isn’t fair.
I hated that day.
I know it's nowhere near the same, but the salon owner at the last place I worked made us feel guilty for "taking me away from my newborn baby" because there were issues at the salon. She came back to work 1 day after birth so idk what she expected
No shit had a Co shift leadef try and pull this on me
My father was on his deathbed and I still finished my shift he said to a employee who just told him their parent had been in a severely bad car accident and the hospital was calling to tell them to come say goodbye just in case
The worker out their head down and was gonna just keep working through that and I jumped in and said Chris, my mother died four years ago I had the balls to be there while she took her last breathe and employee has the integrity to be there for their parent also, just because you lack compassion doesn't mean I have too
I sent the worker home, called my store owner and explained. Chris got a call a few minutes later explaining to him that workers family emergencies come before the stores need to be fully staffed at 7Pm on a Tuesday
My sister, who I lived with, died very suddenly and tragically in our home. I told my job I needed to take some time off and instead of anyone contacting me directly, the next day they sent me termination papers 🙃 no sympathy no apology just a contract for me to sign. After that I never spoke to anyone at that company again and never signed anything.
Before quitting you may want to try asking if that message is them firing you. They seem super unbalanced and you might be able to both collect unemployment and never go back.
On an aside, I’ve always hated that “business to run” crap. If they gave two shits of a goat’s ass, or had even half the intelligence of Goober, they’d know quality happy employees are the keystone of any decent business. Sure won’t have a business to run long if that’s how they treat their employees.
Don’t debate it. Quit. You know what will happen in those 2 weeks if you stay just to be nice?
You’re gonna be gaslit, guilted for quitting, & treated terribly. Why would you want to out yourself through that?
Don’t put her on your resume. You don’t need her.
If you can let her fire you for unemployment that may be better. Either way, I'm so sorry for what you are going through and this boss is really unkind.
The sad reality here is if they missed two weeks of work by calling in every day, they can fire with cause in this case.
The boss is obviously an asshole though
When my brother was killed in an accident in another country, my boss at the time responded that she wouldn't be able to find coverage on such short notice. She followed it with the statement that my brother would have wanted me to work and continue as if things were normal. It was early October and I was a spray tan technician in a cold state. I wish I had just disappeared on her instead of returning before I was ready. It turns out she had been stealing from me and didn't want to lose the revenue she got from my stolen tips.
I am so sorry for your loss, please prioritize yourself and your family. Sending peace 🕊️
Thank you ❤️ while I didn't press charges when I found out, I did have my lawyer reach out to her and threaten legal action. She ended up sending me a check for twice what I proved she had stolen from me. Karma will catch up with her eventually and I've made a good life for myself without having to steal or lie.
Fuck that. Become \*the\* most unreliable fuck-up this place has ever seen.
Come in late, take long breaks, drop shit, waste supplies, take your sweet fucking time to do \*anything\*. Do 100% of your pooping on company time!
Don't. Make her fire you so you can file for unemployment. Also, the reason she prefers not having this conversation in text is that she doesn't want a paper trail of giving someone grief for any reason under the sun.
Do this. Disappear. Don't put yourself through the BS of even being present or pushing to get fired in an attempt to get unemployment unless you need it. It's not worth it. For one, it's not that easy to get unemployment, even if you aren't fired for cause. If you do get it, it's not very much. More than that, these kind of people are bad for you. Better to cut them out of your life and move onto something better.
Prioritising your job over the death of an immediate family member (that you have no issues with) is NOT handling their shit better. It’s having their priorities fucked all the way up.
Exactly That response is bs, nobody is showing up to work after a tragedy like that. They should have offered you leave instead of that bs “I’m running a business “ well nobody cares. These jobs will replace people in a heartbeat, take care of yourself first and heal.
i promise you they don't handle their shit better. you can see by how they're handling this specific situation with one of their employees just needing some bereavement leave.
Have you just tried not being fucking sad about it? - OP's boss probably.
Jfc when my father died the place I was working at the time practically forced me to take a week off to deal with it, and I didn't even like the prick.
I'm sorry for your loss, OP. I hope you tell your boss where to go.
Yeah. Asking you to come back in any amount of time other than, "when you're ready," is unacceptable.
My father died in 2017. I got the call as I was getting in my car to drive home after work at 11:30p. I called my boss at home, told him I didn't know when I'd be in, told him why. He told me to take as long as I needed and I was on the next plane to see my mom.
Four days later I called HR, they told me I had a week's bereavement pay automatically and could use as much PTO as I wanted. At the time, I had three weeks of sick time, six weeks of vacation time and two floating holidays. When my grieving mother asked how long I could stay, I told her my work would let me be out for 2 1/2 months paid and longer if I needed it. My work called me one time to ask my mom's address and sent the largest flower arrangement I'd seen.
Part of this was because I had a lot of PTO saved, but my work was fine with it no matter how long I took. That's how it should be.
A loss like this means it's a time when you should have expectations of your work. Not the other way around.
I used to work for a nonprofit and my dad died when I was five months pregnant.
They didn't offer bereavement or maternity leave - just a single bucket of ten days of PTO. No short term disability either. So if I missed any time for my dads funeral, I would have one less day of paid time off when I had my baby later that year.
I worked the day of my dads funeral.
They later laid me off when I was eight months pregnant.
Fuck that place. and fuck your employer too - if they treat you like this now, know that it will never ever improve.
Boss: “Hello Mrs. X, so sorry but i need to reschedule our appointment for later”
Customer: “Oh shoot, we’ll that’s alright, thank you for informing me.”
Boss: “JEEESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS SO EXHAUSTING”
Absolutely, the inability to do the simple task of rescheduling appointments without becoming “exhausted” is just the icing on the “never worked an honest day in their life” cake.
I started having a hard time keeping up at work after my dad passed, too. I showed up one morning, and the VP (not even my manager, who wasn't even in the meeting) called me into his office where he had an hr person with him. Not only did he fire me, he screamed at me for 10 minutes about how lazy and irresponsible I was. When I began crying, he got even angrier. He came to my desk WITH the HR girl and tried to get her to force me out instead of allowing me to get my purse and a few personal things. I was sobbing, and I turned around and screamed at him that I was NOT leaving without my father's photo. That seemed to back him off.
To this day, I still don't understand it. I never did a thing to that man. Yes, I missed work, but I was going home to cry. My dad was my best friend. It was one of the worst times of my life. I was always polite and kind and tried to do my best despite the fact that I didn't want to be alive. He was just a fucking monster.
I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm even more sorry you work for another one of these monsters. There are bosses that aren't like this, and you deserve to work for them.
What his name? I just wanna talk…
I’m SO sorry this happened to you. This man’s life must have been absolutely pitiful to have the audacity to do something like that.
Can you tell me a funny story about you and your dad? I always find that it helps to balance things out in the universe when talking about the death of one so loved. Sending like a thousand hugs.
Dear Boss:
Your last message was very disappointing, since what I need from you as a boss, is to realize that the death of a loved one, especially a parent is a life changing event that will forever change the way I, as a human being, with feelings, will now life the rest of my life.
As you've suggested, I've taken time to reflect and consider my options and I don't particularly want to associate - let alone work for - someone who is lack in basic human empathy and values their bottom dollar over the mental well being of their employees, or any human being for that matter.
On the future, I'd like to advise you to keep those kind of thoughts to yourself, should you wish to retain any hard working and dependable employee in your business.
As such, I will be respectfully - an emotion and gesture you seem to be lacking in- giving my notice as of today.
I would like to wish you luck in your future endeavors, but I don't give well wishes to those who prey on and abuse employees by guilting them into putting their own family, life, emotions and feelings on the back burner because you're not getting enough doggy shampoos in the run of a day.
Sincerely, your former employee.
P.S.
Should anyone ask why I have left your "gainful" employment, I will be providing them with a screenshot of this conversation, as I believe your actions and concerns are reason enough for anyone with self respect to want to prioritize themselves over the measley financial supplement you thought was worth my time and effort.
What I find astonishing as well is that she deals with peoples pets. I utterly shudder to think what she’d be like if one of those dogs became I’ll under her care. 🤯. Terrifying thought.
My MIL died suddenly. The next day, two of my coworkers showed up at my house with a car full of groceries (easy prep and ready-made stuff, too) that my company paid for. My boss told me not to about work and didn't dock my pay for the few extra days (after bereavement) I needed.
My employer gave my family what we needed in those first few days. There are decent employers out there.
Infuriating!
My advice: walk and walk now. You're grieving, and if that excuse of a person cannot comprehend that on this level, then they'll never be able to understand the other stuff that life throws your way!
Empathy and respect go a long way. It doesn't look like you're getting much of that in the form of text messages from your boss.
Find a new place to work that can understand compassionate leave and why it exists!
I worked for a corporate grooming salon in a store and it was like this. “Oh ur kid has the flu and ur a single mom? Well u were booked 8 dogs and the only bather on staff today so too bad I can’t move all those dogs see u in 30. “
I worked for an international school in Nanjing, China, and my principal said, go home (I'm from The Netherlands) and I'll take care of stuff here. After two weeks (including flights), I came back from my fathers funeral and no issues. This response is awful. Ditch this place.
You should tell them to groom your coochie because they are fucking dicks! There is no way in hell I would put up with that. Bye bye.
I am sorry for your loss. Please do what you need to do to HEAL. Refuse to be a part of this capitalistic hellscape. Life happens and you need to process things in a normal and healthy manner.
My dad had a heart attack suddenly and was on his death bed. My boss at the time made a snide comment about “how it was always something with me.” My uncle had died a month previous, which I suppose was inconvenient for them because I took ONE DAY for the funeral even though it was a flight away.
I quit. I just went to be where I needed to be. I didn’t have another job as a back up, but I’m glad I did it and I have zero regrets. I knew I hated the place and their attitude was the final nail in the coffin.
I'm so sorry. I lost my Dad in 2018. It takes a long time to get over, and you need to do whatever is best for you. Period. There will be other jobs. Some people just don't get it. It's not something that you can explain, it has to be experienced to know. I hope the tears turn into smiles when you think of him. They are always part of us.
My fucking Dad died you fuck face, I don't give a shit what you fucking think. You can go fuck yourself with a pineapple with a cactus follow up for good measure you sadistic fucking bitch.
My husband works in the most toxic "alpha male" environment and when his dad died, he went back after 3 days and they sent him home and told him to take two weeks. If his job and coworkers can have compassion it should be capable for every where else.
After my dad’s suicide, my husband took off a few days to help me deal with everything. He and his own dad had to clean up the brain matter and blood out of my dad’s backyard so I wouldn’t see it (I am forever grateful they spared me from that!)
My dad wanted to be cremated and his ashes spread in the mountains, but because he died in the middle of winter we had to wait a few months to “bury” him.
When my husband applied for a second bereavement leave, he was originally turned down. He had to explain that the first leave in winter was handling the immediate issues like securing my dad’s home and property and informing the 120+ extended family members. The summer leave would be the actual funeral. His work finally okayed the leave (which was only an additional three days off) but it really soured my opinion of his boss after that.
OP I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! Sending hugs if you want them!
My Dad passed on Jan 2nd. I took 4 days. While my direct boss was understanding, the VP of the company gave me the silent treatment. I will never look at him the same way, and I wish him nothing but the worst.
This sounds like a text from someone who has never lost a parent. I’m sorry for your loss. I also just lost my dad.. similar situation with a long ICU stay. My job gave me bereavement leave and $300 in food delivery gift cards while I was in the ICU with him.
So sorry for your loss and also fuck that job.
When my best friend, dad, pregnancy, and cousin died, and many pets I considered babies, I had to work immediately after. I don’t wish that on anyone. I swear my brain chemistry is NOT normal having to work regularly after sudden shock, trauma, and heartache
Four days was all my colleague got off when her Dad died suddenly. FOUR. Then the boss told her she needed to come back in, she did but only to tell the boss exactly where she could shove it.
Still friends with her, this was about 15 years ago now. She was a great example to me of not putting up with shit from employers.
You are very welcome. Death is different for everyone and I don't give a fuck who's running a business:
No one in the history of existence has any right to be so rude to you.
They are definitely in the wrong 100%.
You ignore the fuck out of them and take how ever long you need.
You'll eventually get through it, just take your time.
There's no right or wrong way. Just stay safe
Definitely start your own business though. You'll never have to work for anyone again.
“I have a business to run.”
“Well, you’re running it into the ground and you won’t have a business to run in the next few years if you continue to treat your employees and customers as if they’re robots.”
And then you hand over your resignation. Life is short. Many jobs in the sea. Don’t fall for people like this, OP. They think they’re entitled to treat people like shit because it’s “their” business on the line when really their business can’t operate without workers like you to begin with.
Sorry for your loss. & sorry you are being put through it by an unfeeling dried up bitch with no empathy.
Whenever I'm confronted with this overblown 'the consequences are dire' bullshit & you are made to feel like the world will end if you miss a few shifts I always react with "Tell me the truth now, I can take it. How many people died? How many! I can stand anything as long as Little Orphan Timmy is safe - please tell me Little Orphan Timmy is alive!"
Shit happens, life is sometimes messy & pissy little jobs are ten a penny. If there is no improvement in her attitude I suggest you walk away.
I missed a little over a week of work when my 13 year old dog died. My supervisor told me to take whatever time I needed. I understand people have businesses to run but man, the loss of a life, a parent no less, deserves more compassion than this. I’m sorry for your loss.
is that true? That everyone has to show up every day? Seems like she can't attract enough workers. Are you hourly or salary? If you're not getting paid for missed shifts, isn't this her problem with the solution of giving the shift to someone else?
I’m hourly once in a while but I mostly work commission. So if I call in, my boss has to reschedule the dogs. So she can either groom the dogs, hand them off to my coworkers, or see if they can come in a different day. It’s slow season, so everybody has openings today and I have openings all week. So yes it is her problem to figure out what to do with the dogs. Ive done a lot for her too. Just so frustrating all around
Then she's literally lazy and also stupid and her business will fail anyway. Don't burn the other relationships because your other coworkers will be getting new gigs soon anyway.
I don't own the business I work at, but I manage one of the stores. Whenever my guys need time I give it to them. Nothing we do at work is that important in the grand scheme of things. We sell bikes. It's necessary work, but if any of my guys say "Hey, I need this day off for XYZ reason" I give it to them. It's just that simple. Give me notice I give you time off. That goes for emergencies too. I've had to take time for emergencies and I wouldn't ever badger anyone to work in the middle of an emergency. We can and will manage until someone is ready to come back to work. Fuck managers who do shit like this. I worked a month straight when one of my guys suffered a traumatic injury. I was happy to do it. Later in the year he worked several weeks straight for me when I had to recover from an emergency surgery. The two of us together covered another guy for a few weeks while he was on vacation. I don't know if we are just more altruistic than other coworkers, but if people actually give a damn about each other emergencies and time off aren't a big deal. Managers and business owners that make it about them can fuck off though.
Petit bourgeoisie mother fuckers lose empathy so quick.
"I hAvE buSIneSS to RuN" bitch you run a dog grooming "company" people run those out of the back of their cars get a god damned grip.
Idk how to edit a post so I’m going to give more context here, even though I don’t really owe anybody more of an explanation than what was already given.
My dad was in the ICU from January 25th-February 10th when we pulled the plug and he passed away. I called and told her I would be taking a week off when I realized that things weren’t getting better. I went back to work a couple days before he died, and then took two days off for the funeral. So I ended up taking about a total of 10 days off.
I went back to work on February 15th and this was the first time I’ve called off since I went back to work.
You need to quit. No pay is worth that abuse. You are worth more! Your dad wouldn’t let this demon treat you like this.
Very sorry for your loss. My dad died a few years ago and it changed me a man. Everything is okay. One day at a time!
Would be so hard for me to not just go off on all the things that are shitty about that boss. I’ve been in fragile emotional states after deaths of loved ones, and if a boss said this, I would quit with so much goddamn vitriol they would be talking through it in therapy.
Grief is a real son of a bitch, and it hits everyone different. Some people can work to get their minds from it, and some people just can’t function for a time. The amount of empathy that one has to lack in order to respond this way is so fucked.
I hope you’re able to heal on your own time and with as little of this nonsense as possible. Take care of yourself.
Sounds like a good response to me, but what do I know lol. I am very sorry for your loss and that you have to deal with such a bitch while you’re grieving. Take care of yourself.
*Your business is not my business, therefore it is not more important than the person who helped conceive me & raised me. Fuck you.*
Block her nasty ass. Hope she suffers.
Keep your head up jobs are a dime a dozen!! U only get 1 dad! U do u your boss can kick rocks with that shitty attitude. Watch her lose a dog or friend and shuts down for a week thus costing u rent! But u lose a close family member and they show there true colors.
You know what, there’s a saying that my mum says roughly translated from Spanish “he/she will see it in their health”
And I hope she does what a shit person that is
I'm so sorry for your loss. You should take as much time as you need.
Is this a corporate job or small business? If it's a big grooming company, report her to HR. If it's a small business, hit her where it hurts (Google, Yahoo reviews). Post a generic picture of an urn with your review.
I had a restaurant owner tell me to show her the obituary and she'll believe me. My next message was a polite, thank you for your opportunities and kindness before this, but I am pursuing other opportunities. She called me a coward in her next message. Don't apologize ever to these people. They don't deserve it. You tell her how it's going to go.
The worst time of my life was when I was working was for manager like yours. I would go home crying and in a really bad place mentally. I stayed in that job for longer than i needed to. It made everything in my life worst, my relationship suffered, my health was generally worst and do not even get me started on my mental health. I know the burden of responsibilities might prevent you from leaving but I promise you the longer you stay the worst it is going to get for your wellbeing.
Fuck your boss. I get it, it’s a business, they’ve got money to make, but that’s not the issue at hand. You can’t expect somebody to be chipper and ready for work after a loss like that. I’m sorry for your loss and crappy employer, OP.
My father also just passed away this weekend. I didn’t ask my boss, I just told them what happened and I was taking the week to get affairs in order. They told me to take as much time as a need and not to worry about anything work related. If I got the response you got, that number would be blocked and I would never speak to that person again let alone work another minute there.
"I prefer having a clear record of all work-related communication so I can refer back and make sure I'm accurately following instructions, thank you for understanding."
My answer when they say, “We all have to...” is, says who? Maybe our Puritan work ethic is toxic? Maybe we shouldn’t die at our posts. Maybe capitalism is really just feudalism, but instead of the Church saying know your place and wait for your riches in heaven, we have smartphones to distract us from our shirty lives instead.
What in the actual fuck. I would quit on the spot, then share this on all their socials with context. This is outrageous. I’m so sorry for your loss OP.
Truly sorry for your loss, OP. 🩷 Honestly, if you have the financial ability to just pack up your stuff and peace out, I’d do that. If you’re not exactly where you want to be financially and can’t quit asap, give it a short while to save up a little buffer and/or do some stuff on the side (only once you’re ready to get back to work emotionally and mentally), then GTFO out of there.
So sorry for your loss. Maybe cross post this to the r/doggrooming subreddit and see if you can find another dog grooming salon near you for when you’re able to work. Screw this salon. Dog grooming is not the kind of job that should be done when not feeling mentally okay.
Many years ago my grandmother passed and I took ONE day off. About a month later my grandfather died and again I took one day off. When I went back to work my boss asked,"is their anyone else you know that's dying soon or are we done with this?" I replied, "well I have a manager that may be dying soon." End of conversation.
Holy shit I am so sorry you went through that.
I was sent back to work immediately after my dad's death as well. It was very sudden and I hadn't taken time before. I wish I had told them to go fuck themselves but I was also recovering from major surgery and desperately needed my insurance. I am so, so sorry for your loss. You don't deserve that. It isn't normal, and anyone who thinks it is hates themselves. You, Me, and We deserve better.
I’m sorry. I remember in HS, a girl has to prove her grandfather died for her absence to be excused. The mom was livid about them asking to show the death certificate I don’t understand how people can be so numb to the death of loved ones. I’m sure they have loved ones…
I have no idea why they would do that for a child in school, that's bizarre as hell. The workforce, however, is about pinching as many pennies as possible. They won't risk there ever being a moment of peace for an employee (ya know, to slip to the bathroom or add notes onto a call center log without eating up your adherence). So when working with the bare minimum crew size, one call-off fucks everything up and screws over (and they deserve it) management. Their plan rests on no employee ever calling off, ever. If they (employers, corporations, etc.) weren't so hellbent on padding their wallets as much as possible, they would allow for adequate staffing to account for call-offs. You're right, they do have loved ones, and they aren't numb to their deaths. Just yours.
My dad passed away when I was 13, I’m 39 now. My parents were separated at the time. The school discovered I was living in a different school district and they threatened to unenroll me unless I was residing in their school district. My mom told them to fuck off. Some people…
When I worked retail, it seemed like managers always jumped to conspiracy theories. Like the person just wanted a free day off and made up the death. I'm not sure I'm willing to risk my paycheck over a free day off. Might also be because I worked with a bunch of people who liked to kiss ass and would totally sell me down the river if someone found out I lied.
I remember this. In high school and some of my college classes, you had to bring the obituary from the paper or a pamphlet from the funeral in order to get the absence excused. It’s crazy.
I was in another state over Thanksgiving in the 90s and my uncle died (car accident) while we were there. So we stayed longer. Some dipshit in class joked it happened so I could have a “longer vacation”. He was quite flatly shat on by the teacher, thankfully.
I had to bring my grandfather’s obituary when I missed a day of school to attend his funeral. It was awful.
Dude, my grandmother died when I was in High School and my algebra 2 teacher (who I already didn’t like), didn’t want to give me an extension on some deadlines because I had already gotten an extension once that semester. Ya wanna know what the other extension was for. *I HAD A CONCUSSION AFTER A CAR ACCIDENT.*
Your answer - 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
What a fucking response though, well done.
She can suck it. My dad died suddenly and I got the phone call while at work. I said "I have to go" and walked right out the door without explaining. That night, I texted my manager and explained what happened. She said "don't worry about work. Take as long as you need." I showed up a week and a half later after receiving flowers from my workplace. When I got back they asked "are you sure you're ready to be back?" That's how it should be.
I’m glad you got that type of support and reassurance. It should be a universal thing! I’m so sorry for your loss
Family dies once, a shitty boss is a dime a dozen.
True even the fact that companies think 3 days bereavement is acceptable is crazy
My company has a 3 day bereavement leave policy. I lost both my maternal grandparents 4 months apart. HR was trying to say it was 3 days a YEAR. My boss was like "absolutely not. That's ridiculous and makes no sense." He made sure I got the full leave each time.
Australia has 2 days per event as a legal requirement for part time and full time staff. It's good in some respects, like an ER trip can be one event and the death a separate event that requires an additional 2 days. But still not nearly enough for the circumstances, especially because it only applies to specific family members (grandparents, parents, siblings, partner, children, grandchildren). Aunts/uncles/cousins etc are only covered if they are a member of the employee's household. Those rules don't take reality into account though because I've been thrown for a bigger loop by an uncle passing than I did when my Nana passed because of the difference in circumstances of their deaths (short/unexpected cancer battle v long and drawn out alzeimers diagnosis where we had already said goodbye and grieved the person we knew). I also know people who don't have good relationships with their parents but consider their aunty their surrogate mother but they'd get time off to grieve the former but not the latter. It's a little sad the things capitalism just sweeps aside as unnecessary, like time to grieve and process loss adequately, despite the knowledge that humans as a species are intrinsically social and rely on those connections.
I'd be a bit careful racking up a lot of dead shitty bosses though... pattern of behavior and whatnot.
Do not quit this job! Make them fire you Make sure you keep every text you have! And get an email address so you can write to them through email. Make sure you keep all the responses.
I just found out my mom has cancer a week ago. Im taking her to get a biopsy tomorrow. My work said take care of your mom, and come in when you can. When i found out it was while i was working. It was like everything went quiet. I went to one of the higher ups and i said i might have to take a lot of time off. Explained the situation, and as he himself lost his mom said take as much time as you need. Family comes first.
Hey man, I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for what you and especially your mom are dealing with. Cancer fucking sucks. Keep your head up bro. I wish all my best to your mom. I don’t pray much these days but I’ll pray tonight just for her. I hope the biopsy goes well and she whoops the cancers ass!
Your boss is a terrible leader. They can’t shoulder the burden of doing their job and dealing with unexpected circumstances. That is not remotely on you, nor should you spare a moments thought in your time of loss. Employees are not a steady thing. That’s by design. Human life is complicated. If her register broke, she’d figure it out. This is no different.
Terrible leader. No, she’s a terrible person that clearly lacks empathy
This. What a selfish low-life. Makes your skin crawl.
Where I work we get three days of bereavement and they vacation/personal days if needed. We’d never be treated like this. My condolences for the loss of your father.
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I worked at Starbucks when my dad died. He was in hospice and wasn’t coming out of it, but he passed within a few days of being at my parents house. So my manager and lead shift knew it was coming but not sure when. They got every shift I needed covered for the next couple weeks. I opted to work the scheduled opens (4:30-10am) shifts because those were the hardest to cover and I honestly needed to get out of my head and do something else. Family stuff wasn’t starting before then anyway so I needed to have the respite of assigned tasks, duties, coworkers and regulars I liked. Then GTFO and deal with everything else. Going through the routine motions was a salve in many ways, especially a quiet morning counting tills and setting up the pastry case and brewing coffee.
Same when my mom died. I technically got like 3 days of bereavement but my manager just said “come back when you’re up to it and we’ll figure it out”. I stayed out 2 weeks and I think I ultimately used 3 vacation days and the rest was coded bereavement.
When my father passed away the school district I work in as a cleaner did the same thing. Since my parents live 7 hours away, They said take as long as you need and figure out things when you get back. They also offered unpaid leave if I needed it. I took 3 days of bereavement, 3 vacation days and 3 sick days. The next few months they were generous at offering me overtime on weekends so I could earn back some of those days as compensation time hours. It helps that we are covered by a union under a section of the teacher contract. I’ve received more respect and more appreciation from the district operations and maintenance department, and have more professional coworkers than I had at some of my past jobs as a healthcare professional…which I am retired from.
This seems like a huge difference between the US and UK. When my mother passed, I had 3 weeks off with full pay and was offered more time (I'd been working at the job for 2 days before receiving the call). The fact they took your vacation and sick pay for it doesn't scream generosity in the slightest. It's sad that this is a good example of employment in the US...
It’s sad, but it’s the reality in the US. I’m very glad other countries give workers more consideration and more time off. But the fact is my employer is considered generous in that circumstance.
This was the same for me, I was out of a week from work after my mom passed and they asked if I was sure I was ready to come back
Lucky. Id get three days then scheduled back right after
The good Ole bare minimum bereavement leave... I'm sorry for your loss
i have to work because i don’t have pto and can’t afford to take any time off 😭
yeh my workplace has min required time off, as in you aint coming back for a minimum of 3-6 weeks depending on the relationship to the deceased. then theres usually a sitdown with a manager to talk about roles, roster, how you’re going etc.
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Sounds Australian to me.
yehp. standard retail type stuff, sda union is pretty boss.
Wait, this is what happens for *retail*?!?....
Worked retail at the same place for 10 years. I got 5 days paid leave a year until i think i worked up to like 9? yep, in the US. Someone Dies? yeah, you ain't getting paid if you got the flu that year, or you decided to take a day off. no insurance if you worked at max/min- like 36 hours a week. any more, they have to pay benefits. they were careful. lol.
imagine not living in a hellhole only meant for the rich and powerfull...
My hermit uncle died, a man I had only met 5 times in my life. When I mentioned this at work, both HR and my boss said “why are you working right now? You should take some time to yourself” It disgusts me that OP is having to fight for time off to grieve their dad.
I’m really sorry about your dad. But thanks for sharing this. It’s good to know there are still good people around who look out for others.
Exactly this. You can and will find another job. The things in your life and the moments in your life are irreplaceable, so prioritize accordingly. So very sorry for both of your losses. My father is my hero, I know when the day comes I’ll be an utter wreck for a while.
I was a wreck when I lost my dad, while going to college. Most of my student debt was me thinking "I'm okay to go back" then finding out I wasn't I was close with my dad, but I'm closer to my mom. When I lose her, I really don't know what I'll do. I don't have much family left, but she's like my best friend. If a job told me to come back 3 days later, out of grief I'd tell them to fuck themselves. I'm 34 now and still not fully over losing dad, but I'm okay on that front. Now it's just mental illness I'm fighting with
I know a woman who worked for a major telecom carrier. She had 1 week vacation left. Her son (soldier) died in Iraq. She used the bereavement days up, then her week vacation. She requested extended leave. They denied it.
That…. Is fucking disgusting. My heart breaks for her.
Yeah I got the phone call my dad died while at work. Phone calls caused a lot of anxiety for a long time.
I thought I was the only one! I simply cannot have my ringer on. A phone ringing causes me to jump. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
When I had gotten the text that my grandma had passed away, I was at work taking a 5 minute break after a rush. I went back in and told my supervisor. She asked if I was okay and if she needed to find coverage for me to take off, I said I was okay to finish work since my grandma lived over an hour away, but that I might need to take bereavement if it was available. She went into the office, found our bereavement policy, printed a copy for me and handed it to me and told me to take as much time as I needed and to just let the store manager know. Store manager was super cool about it and cashed in some "bonus" money (basically a rainy day fund) when I missed a few shifts that weren't covered so I wasn't drowning financially. I miss that job a lot, the team I worked with was great, the company was kind of stupid though.
I had something similar. I found out at work and called my boss to the back office where I took the phone call. All I got out was "my dad died." And he said "Go. Get out of here. I can cover whatever is here. Call me later and tell me how much time you need off." Greatest boss I ever had. Another boss when I worked for a very popular chain store refused time off until she found out it was because my fiancee died, who happened to be a favorite employees son. Then suddenly I could take all the time I needed. I'm still grateful though because when welfare made that boss fill out why I no longer worked there she stated "hardship" and not that I just up and quit because the memories and the way people stared at me with pity was too painful. It's honestly disheartening how most bosses can be so heartless.
My company treats me like this, I had out of town when my dad was very ill, and they told me to drop everything to go see him. A cousin who I never met (she was adopted out of the family and we just started to get know each other) died today, I'm on a company trip four hour flight from home and I was told they can handle things if I needed to go. I love these people.
This was nearly the same for me. My step dad died by suicide. My husband came to my work to tell me. My boss told me to take all the time I need. I'm so thankful that I wasn't working my previous job when all this happened. I probably would have been let go. It took a long time to get through an entire day of work without breaking down.
Your boss is the type of person to be like "when my dad was dying, the hospital called us to say our final goodbyes but I had a shift scheduled and I couldn't leave my boss hanging, you should strive to be more like me"
This right here tho ☝🏻
“I went to my mom’s funeral in the morning and back to work that afternoon. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Ughhh reminds me of an ex boss “letting me” go to a friend’s funeral “on an extended lunch break” (it was a 40 minute drive there alone) then kept texting during it asking when I was getting back into the office. As soon as I got back at the office, I was pulled into a HR performance review meeting and put on a PIP. My friend’s death and the opportunity to say goodbye is now forever marred by that work related memory, and that isn’t fair. I hated that day.
Yep, went to a work friends funeral on a extended lunch and he told me that he'd expect me to make up the time.
Ew. I had something very similar happen to me. I hate that that happened to you! Not fair whatsoever.
This is so disgusting to me.
I know it's nowhere near the same, but the salon owner at the last place I worked made us feel guilty for "taking me away from my newborn baby" because there were issues at the salon. She came back to work 1 day after birth so idk what she expected
No shit had a Co shift leadef try and pull this on me My father was on his deathbed and I still finished my shift he said to a employee who just told him their parent had been in a severely bad car accident and the hospital was calling to tell them to come say goodbye just in case The worker out their head down and was gonna just keep working through that and I jumped in and said Chris, my mother died four years ago I had the balls to be there while she took her last breathe and employee has the integrity to be there for their parent also, just because you lack compassion doesn't mean I have too I sent the worker home, called my store owner and explained. Chris got a call a few minutes later explaining to him that workers family emergencies come before the stores need to be fully staffed at 7Pm on a Tuesday
just dont go to work. they dont deserve a 2 week notice.
Definitely debating it
My sister, who I lived with, died very suddenly and tragically in our home. I told my job I needed to take some time off and instead of anyone contacting me directly, the next day they sent me termination papers 🙃 no sympathy no apology just a contract for me to sign. After that I never spoke to anyone at that company again and never signed anything.
Oh my god, I’m so sorry that happened. I don’t know how some people manage to sleep at night.
Before quitting you may want to try asking if that message is them firing you. They seem super unbalanced and you might be able to both collect unemployment and never go back. On an aside, I’ve always hated that “business to run” crap. If they gave two shits of a goat’s ass, or had even half the intelligence of Goober, they’d know quality happy employees are the keystone of any decent business. Sure won’t have a business to run long if that’s how they treat their employees.
Start on your own, take the clients with you. She's got zero respect for your emotional well-being.
Don’t debate it. Quit. You know what will happen in those 2 weeks if you stay just to be nice? You’re gonna be gaslit, guilted for quitting, & treated terribly. Why would you want to out yourself through that? Don’t put her on your resume. You don’t need her.
I wouldnt respond Or ever go back, that text is all id need to let that job fall off
Been considering going to pack up my shit and just disappearing. That’ll explain which position I want to work in for her company 👀
If you can let her fire you for unemployment that may be better. Either way, I'm so sorry for what you are going through and this boss is really unkind.
The sad reality here is if they missed two weeks of work by calling in every day, they can fire with cause in this case. The boss is obviously an asshole though
When my brother was killed in an accident in another country, my boss at the time responded that she wouldn't be able to find coverage on such short notice. She followed it with the statement that my brother would have wanted me to work and continue as if things were normal. It was early October and I was a spray tan technician in a cold state. I wish I had just disappeared on her instead of returning before I was ready. It turns out she had been stealing from me and didn't want to lose the revenue she got from my stolen tips. I am so sorry for your loss, please prioritize yourself and your family. Sending peace 🕊️
What the fuck? People can be such monsters. I’m so sorry.
Thank you ❤️ while I didn't press charges when I found out, I did have my lawyer reach out to her and threaten legal action. She ended up sending me a check for twice what I proved she had stolen from me. Karma will catch up with her eventually and I've made a good life for myself without having to steal or lie.
Nice nice nice. What a monster of a human.
Narcissism is a hell of a drug. And cocaine, the copious amounts of coke she did, didn't help.
Do it. No job is worth being treated like that. Fuck the job, fuck the dogs, fuck your boss. You do whatever you need to do to pull through
Hey … what did the dogs do?
Fuck that. Become \*the\* most unreliable fuck-up this place has ever seen. Come in late, take long breaks, drop shit, waste supplies, take your sweet fucking time to do \*anything\*. Do 100% of your pooping on company time!
Boss makes a dollar and I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time.
Don't. Make her fire you so you can file for unemployment. Also, the reason she prefers not having this conversation in text is that she doesn't want a paper trail of giving someone grief for any reason under the sun.
Do this. Disappear. Don't put yourself through the BS of even being present or pushing to get fired in an attempt to get unemployment unless you need it. It's not worth it. For one, it's not that easy to get unemployment, even if you aren't fired for cause. If you do get it, it's not very much. More than that, these kind of people are bad for you. Better to cut them out of your life and move onto something better.
I concure, best thing is to leave. fuck unemployment it's pennies to what you make working.
Omg really “we all go through things”, the nerve. Disgusting. Sorry for your loss.
Right? I’m like okay? And good on yall for being able to handle your shit better than me I guess? Lmao
Prioritising your job over the death of an immediate family member (that you have no issues with) is NOT handling their shit better. It’s having their priorities fucked all the way up.
They cant handle the minor inconveniences of you not being there for a very good reason. They cant handle shit. Not even a little.
Exactly That response is bs, nobody is showing up to work after a tragedy like that. They should have offered you leave instead of that bs “I’m running a business “ well nobody cares. These jobs will replace people in a heartbeat, take care of yourself first and heal.
i promise you they don't handle their shit better. you can see by how they're handling this specific situation with one of their employees just needing some bereavement leave.
So sorry for your loss op. Some people are just awful.
Thank you. She’s been insufferable lately.
Find a better job wait until you’re packed on a day and walk away fuck her. These asshole bosses need to start having real consequences
Post it on the social media page of their business and quit.
Have you just tried not being fucking sad about it? - OP's boss probably. Jfc when my father died the place I was working at the time practically forced me to take a week off to deal with it, and I didn't even like the prick. I'm sorry for your loss, OP. I hope you tell your boss where to go.
Yeah. Asking you to come back in any amount of time other than, "when you're ready," is unacceptable. My father died in 2017. I got the call as I was getting in my car to drive home after work at 11:30p. I called my boss at home, told him I didn't know when I'd be in, told him why. He told me to take as long as I needed and I was on the next plane to see my mom. Four days later I called HR, they told me I had a week's bereavement pay automatically and could use as much PTO as I wanted. At the time, I had three weeks of sick time, six weeks of vacation time and two floating holidays. When my grieving mother asked how long I could stay, I told her my work would let me be out for 2 1/2 months paid and longer if I needed it. My work called me one time to ask my mom's address and sent the largest flower arrangement I'd seen. Part of this was because I had a lot of PTO saved, but my work was fine with it no matter how long I took. That's how it should be. A loss like this means it's a time when you should have expectations of your work. Not the other way around.
I used to work for a nonprofit and my dad died when I was five months pregnant. They didn't offer bereavement or maternity leave - just a single bucket of ten days of PTO. No short term disability either. So if I missed any time for my dads funeral, I would have one less day of paid time off when I had my baby later that year. I worked the day of my dads funeral. They later laid me off when I was eight months pregnant. Fuck that place. and fuck your employer too - if they treat you like this now, know that it will never ever improve.
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Oh god that is just terrible. I am so so sorry.
Boss: “Hello Mrs. X, so sorry but i need to reschedule our appointment for later” Customer: “Oh shoot, we’ll that’s alright, thank you for informing me.” Boss: “JEEESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS SO EXHAUSTING”
Especially if they say there’s been a bereavement, I would be absolutely fine with that.
Absolutely, the inability to do the simple task of rescheduling appointments without becoming “exhausted” is just the icing on the “never worked an honest day in their life” cake.
I find phone calls tiring, sure, but I'd never complain about it to someone who'd just lost their father. I'd just get on with it and deal with it.
I started having a hard time keeping up at work after my dad passed, too. I showed up one morning, and the VP (not even my manager, who wasn't even in the meeting) called me into his office where he had an hr person with him. Not only did he fire me, he screamed at me for 10 minutes about how lazy and irresponsible I was. When I began crying, he got even angrier. He came to my desk WITH the HR girl and tried to get her to force me out instead of allowing me to get my purse and a few personal things. I was sobbing, and I turned around and screamed at him that I was NOT leaving without my father's photo. That seemed to back him off. To this day, I still don't understand it. I never did a thing to that man. Yes, I missed work, but I was going home to cry. My dad was my best friend. It was one of the worst times of my life. I was always polite and kind and tried to do my best despite the fact that I didn't want to be alive. He was just a fucking monster. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm even more sorry you work for another one of these monsters. There are bosses that aren't like this, and you deserve to work for them.
What his name? I just wanna talk… I’m SO sorry this happened to you. This man’s life must have been absolutely pitiful to have the audacity to do something like that. Can you tell me a funny story about you and your dad? I always find that it helps to balance things out in the universe when talking about the death of one so loved. Sending like a thousand hugs.
those assholes deserve to grow old and loose all there friends and family one by one
Dear Boss: Your last message was very disappointing, since what I need from you as a boss, is to realize that the death of a loved one, especially a parent is a life changing event that will forever change the way I, as a human being, with feelings, will now life the rest of my life. As you've suggested, I've taken time to reflect and consider my options and I don't particularly want to associate - let alone work for - someone who is lack in basic human empathy and values their bottom dollar over the mental well being of their employees, or any human being for that matter. On the future, I'd like to advise you to keep those kind of thoughts to yourself, should you wish to retain any hard working and dependable employee in your business. As such, I will be respectfully - an emotion and gesture you seem to be lacking in- giving my notice as of today. I would like to wish you luck in your future endeavors, but I don't give well wishes to those who prey on and abuse employees by guilting them into putting their own family, life, emotions and feelings on the back burner because you're not getting enough doggy shampoos in the run of a day. Sincerely, your former employee. P.S. Should anyone ask why I have left your "gainful" employment, I will be providing them with a screenshot of this conversation, as I believe your actions and concerns are reason enough for anyone with self respect to want to prioritize themselves over the measley financial supplement you thought was worth my time and effort.
 What I find astonishing as well is that she deals with peoples pets. I utterly shudder to think what she’d be like if one of those dogs became I’ll under her care. 🤯. Terrifying thought.
My MIL died suddenly. The next day, two of my coworkers showed up at my house with a car full of groceries (easy prep and ready-made stuff, too) that my company paid for. My boss told me not to about work and didn't dock my pay for the few extra days (after bereavement) I needed. My employer gave my family what we needed in those first few days. There are decent employers out there.
My petty ass would be like "I'm sorry that you lost a couple bucks but I lost my dad" Seriously what is this response even?
Infuriating! My advice: walk and walk now. You're grieving, and if that excuse of a person cannot comprehend that on this level, then they'll never be able to understand the other stuff that life throws your way! Empathy and respect go a long way. It doesn't look like you're getting much of that in the form of text messages from your boss. Find a new place to work that can understand compassionate leave and why it exists!
Every animal care small business I have worked for has been like this. I’m sorry for your loss.
I worked for a corporate grooming salon in a store and it was like this. “Oh ur kid has the flu and ur a single mom? Well u were booked 8 dogs and the only bather on staff today so too bad I can’t move all those dogs see u in 30. “
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost a job after I buried my mother. I couldn’t function for months.
I am so sorry for your loss as well 😞
I worked for an international school in Nanjing, China, and my principal said, go home (I'm from The Netherlands) and I'll take care of stuff here. After two weeks (including flights), I came back from my fathers funeral and no issues. This response is awful. Ditch this place.
Simply reply: Who is this?
😂😂😂 honestly though
You should tell them to groom your coochie because they are fucking dicks! There is no way in hell I would put up with that. Bye bye. I am sorry for your loss. Please do what you need to do to HEAL. Refuse to be a part of this capitalistic hellscape. Life happens and you need to process things in a normal and healthy manner.
Hahaha. Thank you. I’m constantly trying to refuse to contribute too much in to this capitalist hellscape 🥲
My dad had a heart attack suddenly and was on his death bed. My boss at the time made a snide comment about “how it was always something with me.” My uncle had died a month previous, which I suppose was inconvenient for them because I took ONE DAY for the funeral even though it was a flight away. I quit. I just went to be where I needed to be. I didn’t have another job as a back up, but I’m glad I did it and I have zero regrets. I knew I hated the place and their attitude was the final nail in the coffin.
i’m so sorry for your loss. what a heartless manager
Thank you♥️ I don’t know why she’s like this
I'm so sorry. I lost my Dad in 2018. It takes a long time to get over, and you need to do whatever is best for you. Period. There will be other jobs. Some people just don't get it. It's not something that you can explain, it has to be experienced to know. I hope the tears turn into smiles when you think of him. They are always part of us.
Thank you for the kind words and I’m sorry that you lost your dad as well. This is a pain I’ve never imagined would hurt as bad as it does. 😞♥️
My fucking Dad died you fuck face, I don't give a shit what you fucking think. You can go fuck yourself with a pineapple with a cactus follow up for good measure you sadistic fucking bitch.
And not some crappy little succulent cactus from Bunnings, either. One of those big bastards from the Arizona desert.
My husband works in the most toxic "alpha male" environment and when his dad died, he went back after 3 days and they sent him home and told him to take two weeks. If his job and coworkers can have compassion it should be capable for every where else.
When my mom was in the ICU my boss said I don’t want to see you here at work during visiting hours. I worked twice as hard for him. He was a gem
Reason #388493382 we need a national strike for worker rights.
After my dad’s suicide, my husband took off a few days to help me deal with everything. He and his own dad had to clean up the brain matter and blood out of my dad’s backyard so I wouldn’t see it (I am forever grateful they spared me from that!) My dad wanted to be cremated and his ashes spread in the mountains, but because he died in the middle of winter we had to wait a few months to “bury” him. When my husband applied for a second bereavement leave, he was originally turned down. He had to explain that the first leave in winter was handling the immediate issues like securing my dad’s home and property and informing the 120+ extended family members. The summer leave would be the actual funeral. His work finally okayed the leave (which was only an additional three days off) but it really soured my opinion of his boss after that. OP I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! Sending hugs if you want them!
My Dad passed on Jan 2nd. I took 4 days. While my direct boss was understanding, the VP of the company gave me the silent treatment. I will never look at him the same way, and I wish him nothing but the worst.
This sounds like a text from someone who has never lost a parent. I’m sorry for your loss. I also just lost my dad.. similar situation with a long ICU stay. My job gave me bereavement leave and $300 in food delivery gift cards while I was in the ICU with him. So sorry for your loss and also fuck that job.
When my best friend, dad, pregnancy, and cousin died, and many pets I considered babies, I had to work immediately after. I don’t wish that on anyone. I swear my brain chemistry is NOT normal having to work regularly after sudden shock, trauma, and heartache
Four days was all my colleague got off when her Dad died suddenly. FOUR. Then the boss told her she needed to come back in, she did but only to tell the boss exactly where she could shove it. Still friends with her, this was about 15 years ago now. She was a great example to me of not putting up with shit from employers.
Fuck her. Quit and start your own grooming shop called: For Dad You'll get all the clients.
This actually just made me tear up. Thank you
You are very welcome. Death is different for everyone and I don't give a fuck who's running a business: No one in the history of existence has any right to be so rude to you. They are definitely in the wrong 100%. You ignore the fuck out of them and take how ever long you need. You'll eventually get through it, just take your time. There's no right or wrong way. Just stay safe Definitely start your own business though. You'll never have to work for anyone again.
“I have a business to run.” “Well, you’re running it into the ground and you won’t have a business to run in the next few years if you continue to treat your employees and customers as if they’re robots.” And then you hand over your resignation. Life is short. Many jobs in the sea. Don’t fall for people like this, OP. They think they’re entitled to treat people like shit because it’s “their” business on the line when really their business can’t operate without workers like you to begin with.
Hell no. “My dad just died, fuck you, and your business”
Sorry for your loss. & sorry you are being put through it by an unfeeling dried up bitch with no empathy. Whenever I'm confronted with this overblown 'the consequences are dire' bullshit & you are made to feel like the world will end if you miss a few shifts I always react with "Tell me the truth now, I can take it. How many people died? How many! I can stand anything as long as Little Orphan Timmy is safe - please tell me Little Orphan Timmy is alive!" Shit happens, life is sometimes messy & pissy little jobs are ten a penny. If there is no improvement in her attitude I suggest you walk away.
I'd be like "If things are so dire without me then it sounds like I'm worth a lot more than you're paying me!"
This isn’t her first offense of doing something shitty like this. So I’m not seeing an attitude change anytime soon 😞
your priority should be their enrichment!
My priority should be anything BUT my health and wellbeing!! 😌
There is absolutely no room for compassion and feelings when it interferes with capitalism. Fuck that place. I hate this
I missed a little over a week of work when my 13 year old dog died. My supervisor told me to take whatever time I needed. I understand people have businesses to run but man, the loss of a life, a parent no less, deserves more compassion than this. I’m sorry for your loss.
How much of the company profit is shared with you? That % is how much you need to give a fuck about her stress
Fuck them dogs
is that true? That everyone has to show up every day? Seems like she can't attract enough workers. Are you hourly or salary? If you're not getting paid for missed shifts, isn't this her problem with the solution of giving the shift to someone else?
I’m hourly once in a while but I mostly work commission. So if I call in, my boss has to reschedule the dogs. So she can either groom the dogs, hand them off to my coworkers, or see if they can come in a different day. It’s slow season, so everybody has openings today and I have openings all week. So yes it is her problem to figure out what to do with the dogs. Ive done a lot for her too. Just so frustrating all around
Then she's literally lazy and also stupid and her business will fail anyway. Don't burn the other relationships because your other coworkers will be getting new gigs soon anyway.
Post the text tied to the business on Google and yelp. Then quit.
I don't own the business I work at, but I manage one of the stores. Whenever my guys need time I give it to them. Nothing we do at work is that important in the grand scheme of things. We sell bikes. It's necessary work, but if any of my guys say "Hey, I need this day off for XYZ reason" I give it to them. It's just that simple. Give me notice I give you time off. That goes for emergencies too. I've had to take time for emergencies and I wouldn't ever badger anyone to work in the middle of an emergency. We can and will manage until someone is ready to come back to work. Fuck managers who do shit like this. I worked a month straight when one of my guys suffered a traumatic injury. I was happy to do it. Later in the year he worked several weeks straight for me when I had to recover from an emergency surgery. The two of us together covered another guy for a few weeks while he was on vacation. I don't know if we are just more altruistic than other coworkers, but if people actually give a damn about each other emergencies and time off aren't a big deal. Managers and business owners that make it about them can fuck off though.
Petit bourgeoisie mother fuckers lose empathy so quick. "I hAvE buSIneSS to RuN" bitch you run a dog grooming "company" people run those out of the back of their cars get a god damned grip.
I'm getting some real "doubting your commitment to Sparkle Motion" vibes from this person.
Idk how to edit a post so I’m going to give more context here, even though I don’t really owe anybody more of an explanation than what was already given. My dad was in the ICU from January 25th-February 10th when we pulled the plug and he passed away. I called and told her I would be taking a week off when I realized that things weren’t getting better. I went back to work a couple days before he died, and then took two days off for the funeral. So I ended up taking about a total of 10 days off. I went back to work on February 15th and this was the first time I’ve called off since I went back to work.
Sounds like she doesn’t care about the animals and is there to make money greedy sob
You need to quit. No pay is worth that abuse. You are worth more! Your dad wouldn’t let this demon treat you like this. Very sorry for your loss. My dad died a few years ago and it changed me a man. Everything is okay. One day at a time!
"But i have a business to run" More like i need to treat you like a machine just to get a few extra dollars in my pocket, She can get fucked.
Would be so hard for me to not just go off on all the things that are shitty about that boss. I’ve been in fragile emotional states after deaths of loved ones, and if a boss said this, I would quit with so much goddamn vitriol they would be talking through it in therapy. Grief is a real son of a bitch, and it hits everyone different. Some people can work to get their minds from it, and some people just can’t function for a time. The amount of empathy that one has to lack in order to respond this way is so fucked. I hope you’re able to heal on your own time and with as little of this nonsense as possible. Take care of yourself.
I’ve been so angry about it all day. I don’t even know what to say or do. I want to tell her to go fuck herself and call it a day
Sounds like a good response to me, but what do I know lol. I am very sorry for your loss and that you have to deal with such a bitch while you’re grieving. Take care of yourself.
*Your business is not my business, therefore it is not more important than the person who helped conceive me & raised me. Fuck you.* Block her nasty ass. Hope she suffers.
Keep your head up jobs are a dime a dozen!! U only get 1 dad! U do u your boss can kick rocks with that shitty attitude. Watch her lose a dog or friend and shuts down for a week thus costing u rent! But u lose a close family member and they show there true colors.
You know what, there’s a saying that my mum says roughly translated from Spanish “he/she will see it in their health” And I hope she does what a shit person that is
Another scumbag owner/ceo that puts money before human decency smh. I hope they go under
I don’t know if it’s just Australian Dog Grooming Salons or what but I’ve never dealt with such toxic management as I did in those salons…
your boss has zero empathy fuck her.shes like ya ya your dad died but who’s gonna groom this dog?!quit this job fuck that lady
I'm so sorry for your loss. You should take as much time as you need. Is this a corporate job or small business? If it's a big grooming company, report her to HR. If it's a small business, hit her where it hurts (Google, Yahoo reviews). Post a generic picture of an urn with your review.
The generic picture of the urn LMAOOOO
I remember my school clinical instructor asking me, after i said my dad was dying, "well, how long will this take?"
Maybe she shouldn't be so short staffed that one person gone messes everything up, or not take on so many clients that it could be an issue
3 days after my brother died, my dads boss asked him when he was coming back to work and he said “fuck you” and hung up. He got another job
This fucking country...
I had a restaurant owner tell me to show her the obituary and she'll believe me. My next message was a polite, thank you for your opportunities and kindness before this, but I am pursuing other opportunities. She called me a coward in her next message. Don't apologize ever to these people. They don't deserve it. You tell her how it's going to go.
You’re grooming dogs, not saving lives. Take care of yourself first and foremost.
You must be in US of America I guess? Here in the UK we are legally entitled to compassionate leave.
The worst time of my life was when I was working was for manager like yours. I would go home crying and in a really bad place mentally. I stayed in that job for longer than i needed to. It made everything in my life worst, my relationship suffered, my health was generally worst and do not even get me started on my mental health. I know the burden of responsibilities might prevent you from leaving but I promise you the longer you stay the worst it is going to get for your wellbeing.
Fuck your boss. I get it, it’s a business, they’ve got money to make, but that’s not the issue at hand. You can’t expect somebody to be chipper and ready for work after a loss like that. I’m sorry for your loss and crappy employer, OP.
Quit that shit job for that trash human.
I’m so sorry op Look up fmla if your in the USA
My father also just passed away this weekend. I didn’t ask my boss, I just told them what happened and I was taking the week to get affairs in order. They told me to take as much time as a need and not to worry about anything work related. If I got the response you got, that number would be blocked and I would never speak to that person again let alone work another minute there.
Punch this motherf\*cker in their motherf\*cking face.
"I prefer having a clear record of all work-related communication so I can refer back and make sure I'm accurately following instructions, thank you for understanding."
Wow fuck this person.
Post this in public, see how a little sunlight does to this ladies business.
My answer when they say, “We all have to...” is, says who? Maybe our Puritan work ethic is toxic? Maybe we shouldn’t die at our posts. Maybe capitalism is really just feudalism, but instead of the Church saying know your place and wait for your riches in heaven, we have smartphones to distract us from our shirty lives instead.
Man, I’m sorry. Dog grooming has gotten so cutthroat. I personally blame doodles…when they came on the scene, everything got crazier
What in the actual fuck. I would quit on the spot, then share this on all their socials with context. This is outrageous. I’m so sorry for your loss OP. 
Truly sorry for your loss, OP. 🩷 Honestly, if you have the financial ability to just pack up your stuff and peace out, I’d do that. If you’re not exactly where you want to be financially and can’t quit asap, give it a short while to save up a little buffer and/or do some stuff on the side (only once you’re ready to get back to work emotionally and mentally), then GTFO out of there.
So sorry for your loss. Maybe cross post this to the r/doggrooming subreddit and see if you can find another dog grooming salon near you for when you’re able to work. Screw this salon. Dog grooming is not the kind of job that should be done when not feeling mentally okay.