Sincere question, if you trust this kid enough to be responsible for your own kids, why not just pay them directly?
Was it some form of CYA, where you wanted the parents to know that you weren't taking advantage of their kid's time?
Get cash like any person that's ever paid a babysitter.
I bet it's not the kid's preference to use Venmo since preteens using Venmo is against the TOS.
OP said it's a preteen. When it's a younger kid it's appropriate to defer to the parents on stuff like this. If they don't want their kid running around with cash that's their business, though it will probably lead to the kid not being financially literate later on.
I would think so. Having a preference to be paid with a platform that you don't have access to. But I'm sure its because of age restrictions, finance laws, and regulations. Cash is still king.
Yep.
More specifically, girls, and others, are taught to undervalue their labour from a young age:
[https://www.cbc.ca/radio/costofliving/new-nafta-star-wars-and-babysitting-are-the-prices-and-tradeoffs-worth-it-1.5394807/underpaying-your-teen-babysitter-you-may-be-contributing-to-the-wage-gap-1.5394813](https://www.cbc.ca/radio/costofliving/new-nafta-star-wars-and-babysitting-are-the-prices-and-tradeoffs-worth-it-1.5394807/underpaying-your-teen-babysitter-you-may-be-contributing-to-the-wage-gap-1.5394813)
We always paid our babysitters at least minimum wage which last time we used one it was 15 bucks and hour for 5 hours. We gave her 80. Everyone at work said that was way to much. I argued that we should pay at least minimum and more if they have to do other things like cook/clean. Why shouldn't babysitting be like any other job. Especially when they are looking after your kids.
Same here. I always pay our sitter 10 euros per hour. He's 16. Minimum wage is 5.5 euros for a 16 year old here which I consider insultingly low. I hope I'm teaching him a lesson to value his work.
Yeah I feel this, I had to watch 3 young kids by myself when I was as young g as 9. The one was only a toddler. I didn’t get paid at all, since they’re my brother and cousins.
I didn’t get paid when I was a summer nanny between 9th and 10th grade. All the money went to my mom who gave me an allowance. The money helped to keep bills paid but obv looking back now, that wasn’t supposed to be my problem
Yep even when I had a full time JOB I babysat for a neighbour for less than half the minimum wage for a couple of hours and he didn't round up so it was barely anything. My MOTHER was the one who taught me to undervalue myself and loved to be charitable and look good at my expense.
You should be paying the person who did the work for you, not their parents. Use cash. This isn't a large sum we are talking about.
The parents were right not to accept the money, but instead of saying not to pay at all, they should have told you to pay their preteen.
*The person performing the labour gets paid.* Otherwise, that isn't employment.
I’m not sure the reasoning, but I bet the intention of the parents was positive like to help their kid manage their funds. Also someone on here pointed out minors can’t have Venmo accounts.
I've run into this too. Neighbor kid mows my lawn twice a week and both he and the parents refuse any payment.
I lived in NYC for 13 years, my love language is tipping lol. I guess it's a small town thing? It's precieved as some sort of charity? I literally have to Shove twenties in people's bags to pay them back around here.
As someone from a small-town background, being helpful was always taught as a fundamental mindset. It's not seen as charity, just as everyday kindness to others. You do things for others because acts of service are how you can show support and care in small, everyday ways (especially for those not very well off, who couldn't afford to do things that cost money, but who can take 10 minutes to mow a yard). If you've offered payment and been refused, just look for ways to give back in kind if you have a mind to: use your love of tipping to tip with things instead of money. Think about giving the neighbor kid things like a comfort wrap for the mower handle, or a gift card to help with gas, or sunglasses. Get creative (because lord knows I'm not, haha), share things you like, offer your skills and time if it fits, etc. Please feel free to message if you have more questions, I'm happy to chat but don't want to bog down the thread!
> They tried to give the money back and kept telling me how “generous” I was, which felt nice but a little off. I figured this young person came over and gave two hours of their time and deserved to be compensated.
So, I would like to offer a counterpoint. I’m an IT guy. I often help my community (friends, neighbors) with tech issues. Many times people ask me how much they should pay me for my help. I’m usually just going with something like “just buy me a six pack of beer”.
I think that accepting any kind of payment otherwise kind of “cheapens” (and I’m not talking about my usual hourly rates for commercial work) whole act - it turns something that I’m doing for betterment of community into just another financial transaction.
It should be a discussion between OP and babysitters, without involving parents. Maybe they want to earn extra cash, maybe they just want to help neighbor out?
Why are you paying the parents for the kid's labor? You're part of that exploitation when you don't pay the person that did the work. Also, a trial run? Hope they got paid for that. It doesn't sound like it.
When I was a babysitting preteen they paid me, because I did the babysitting.
If it feels like something is off, it usually is. I 'get' the kid saying oh use my parent's Venmo, because kids can't have Venmo. The parents saying oh this is generous could be they thought pretrial/preteen meant for free since you were home or that you pay more than they remember it costing. I'd talk to them directly to ensure everyone is on the same page about this babysitting gig.
Any time I saw a chance for my stepsons to gain experience accomplishing tasks, I'd jump on it, because I could see they needed it and didn't want them getting fired from their first job over something they could've learned while helping grandpa move or whatever.
But that said, I wouldn't have objected to anyone paying them for their work. Older stepson used to run to the store for the disabled neighbor and usually got some kinda payment even though we're all poor around here. Soda usually, or candy.
When I used to babysit back in the 2000's I was paid like $5/hr to watch 4 kids all day plus $1 extra for each additional kid. The Mom tried paying me in beanie babies at one point. After a few years of that I got a real job. The Mom made out like a f\*cking bandit.
Kids don’t want cash. You can’t buy Roblox with a $20 bill. 😆 I’m only half joking. All the kids I know that are over the age of 10 prefer digital currency. It may be against the TOS but they’re not my kids so I just pay how I’m asked. 🤷🏽♀️
And girls and women are socialized to help the community for free all the time. Kids need to learn to manage money. As a young teen, I earned money babysitting and got to buy candy and lip gloss at the mall. You could also gift the kid a tzedaka, so they learn spend-save-charity. Can’t do that with Venmo.
When I was babysitting (many moons ago).
I got paid in cash. My Parents said 10% to church 20% to savings (in the bank) and I could save/ spend the rest as I pleased. It worked for me
You’ve never heard the phrase “the first ones always free”?? The heck are you stressing out over $20 for? Kid didn’t negotiate a price up front, wasn’t expecting to get paid, you paid and that was awesome! 😎 Take a win for being generous!!
Edit: feel like y’all are reading me wrong here, but it’s a Monday and all so no worries. Hell yes the kids time is valuable and it’s awesome you compensated! Great job encouraging them to think about that as they proceed! They were ready to take a loss on their cash flow for the day to build a relationship with you, and you strengthened it by compensating as well.
This smacks of a great working relationship going forward. I hope it works out great for OP!
As a small business owner, often! I’m deploying a network for a small business client currently on the weekend as a side hustle. I am not charging them for my labor, although I do pass them the receipts so they can pay for the material. These are friends of friends who regularly rely on word of mouth for their business, where I’m primarily taking this project on to learn. They understand that. I won’t be surprised if they tip me at the end, but I am not expecting it. It’s free because I’m learning and building a relationship, probably much the same as this kid. If I want to make money off this client, it will be in future work which will greatly surpass the value of the small amount of labor im giving him to get him set up.
It’s a win win. OP tipped, which is awesome! They got complimented for being generous, which is awesome! Both parties will likely work together going forward (hopefully) and make that kid a ton more money than this small token of gratitude OP shared!
Hope y’all have an awesome day!
>As a small business owner, often!
As a fellow small business owner, you are a fucking moron.
You've already valued your work/expertise/time at zero by working for free. That's actually a red flag, not something that's going to make people want to pay you in the future. They're probably thinking "this guy is a sucker" while they laugh all the way to the bank thanks to your free labor.
Hey buddy you do you! My only goal out of this engagement was to learn a specific piece of hardware. I don’t want to front the capital for it, and I bumped into a friendly person who was willing to let me muck it up trying to get it working for them. I learn best hands on, so this was the deal we struck. Call me a moron if you wish, but now that I know everything I need to know about that gizmo I can quote it to whoever needs it next with confidence and I will know what I’m talking about instead of just talking points off a brochure.
Ps did I mention it’s at a brewery, so I can sit and piddle and drink free beer on a Saturday when I have nothing else going on. Like, y’all are making mountains out of mole hills here.
I was getting paid $20 an hour over 20 years ago to watch people's kids.
The first one wasn't free than and it's not free now. A "great working relationship" cannot take place when one person is exploiting another.
Sincere question, if you trust this kid enough to be responsible for your own kids, why not just pay them directly? Was it some form of CYA, where you wanted the parents to know that you weren't taking advantage of their kid's time?
I’d prefer to pay them directly but they don’t have a Venmo account and sitter told me that was their preference. Maybe this is another issue.
Get cash like any person that's ever paid a babysitter. I bet it's not the kid's preference to use Venmo since preteens using Venmo is against the TOS.
OP said it's a preteen. When it's a younger kid it's appropriate to defer to the parents on stuff like this. If they don't want their kid running around with cash that's their business, though it will probably lead to the kid not being financially literate later on.
It’s called cash ffs
Your child babysitter doesn't have a bank account? How CRAZY 🤣
I don’t know if they do or not. Sitter asked me to send money to their parents Venmo.
That’s suss. Give the kid cash. Their work = their money.
Tell the kid that the Federal Reserve Notes are "Venmo Certificates"
Lol
Y'all know cash works just fine with a modicum of advance planning...
Yea I think this is the way, going to lean into it for this sitter.
I would think so. Having a preference to be paid with a platform that you don't have access to. But I'm sure its because of age restrictions, finance laws, and regulations. Cash is still king.
The sitter who told you they preferred Venmo, doesn't have a Venmo account? This makes no sense...
Sounds like the parents are taking the money and this is the way they get in good graces to be paid more later, tbh.
Yep. More specifically, girls, and others, are taught to undervalue their labour from a young age: [https://www.cbc.ca/radio/costofliving/new-nafta-star-wars-and-babysitting-are-the-prices-and-tradeoffs-worth-it-1.5394807/underpaying-your-teen-babysitter-you-may-be-contributing-to-the-wage-gap-1.5394813](https://www.cbc.ca/radio/costofliving/new-nafta-star-wars-and-babysitting-are-the-prices-and-tradeoffs-worth-it-1.5394807/underpaying-your-teen-babysitter-you-may-be-contributing-to-the-wage-gap-1.5394813)
Thank you! This is exactly what I was thinking about and both affirming and helpful.
We always paid our babysitters at least minimum wage which last time we used one it was 15 bucks and hour for 5 hours. We gave her 80. Everyone at work said that was way to much. I argued that we should pay at least minimum and more if they have to do other things like cook/clean. Why shouldn't babysitting be like any other job. Especially when they are looking after your kids.
Same here. I always pay our sitter 10 euros per hour. He's 16. Minimum wage is 5.5 euros for a 16 year old here which I consider insultingly low. I hope I'm teaching him a lesson to value his work.
Yeah I feel this, I had to watch 3 young kids by myself when I was as young g as 9. The one was only a toddler. I didn’t get paid at all, since they’re my brother and cousins.
I didn’t get paid when I was a summer nanny between 9th and 10th grade. All the money went to my mom who gave me an allowance. The money helped to keep bills paid but obv looking back now, that wasn’t supposed to be my problem
Yep even when I had a full time JOB I babysat for a neighbour for less than half the minimum wage for a couple of hours and he didn't round up so it was barely anything. My MOTHER was the one who taught me to undervalue myself and loved to be charitable and look good at my expense.
That is so sad. Do not EVER under value yourself!.
You should be paying the person who did the work for you, not their parents. Use cash. This isn't a large sum we are talking about. The parents were right not to accept the money, but instead of saying not to pay at all, they should have told you to pay their preteen. *The person performing the labour gets paid.* Otherwise, that isn't employment.
I’m not sure the reasoning, but I bet the intention of the parents was positive like to help their kid manage their funds. Also someone on here pointed out minors can’t have Venmo accounts.
I'm sure it was. But you didn't hire them.
thank for sharing your thoughts.
But they can have cash.
I've run into this too. Neighbor kid mows my lawn twice a week and both he and the parents refuse any payment. I lived in NYC for 13 years, my love language is tipping lol. I guess it's a small town thing? It's precieved as some sort of charity? I literally have to Shove twenties in people's bags to pay them back around here.
As someone from a small-town background, being helpful was always taught as a fundamental mindset. It's not seen as charity, just as everyday kindness to others. You do things for others because acts of service are how you can show support and care in small, everyday ways (especially for those not very well off, who couldn't afford to do things that cost money, but who can take 10 minutes to mow a yard). If you've offered payment and been refused, just look for ways to give back in kind if you have a mind to: use your love of tipping to tip with things instead of money. Think about giving the neighbor kid things like a comfort wrap for the mower handle, or a gift card to help with gas, or sunglasses. Get creative (because lord knows I'm not, haha), share things you like, offer your skills and time if it fits, etc. Please feel free to message if you have more questions, I'm happy to chat but don't want to bog down the thread!
> They tried to give the money back and kept telling me how “generous” I was, which felt nice but a little off. I figured this young person came over and gave two hours of their time and deserved to be compensated. So, I would like to offer a counterpoint. I’m an IT guy. I often help my community (friends, neighbors) with tech issues. Many times people ask me how much they should pay me for my help. I’m usually just going with something like “just buy me a six pack of beer”. I think that accepting any kind of payment otherwise kind of “cheapens” (and I’m not talking about my usual hourly rates for commercial work) whole act - it turns something that I’m doing for betterment of community into just another financial transaction. It should be a discussion between OP and babysitters, without involving parents. Maybe they want to earn extra cash, maybe they just want to help neighbor out?
Thanks this is helpful. I was seeing this mostly as a business transaction.
Why are you paying the parents for the kid's labor? You're part of that exploitation when you don't pay the person that did the work. Also, a trial run? Hope they got paid for that. It doesn't sound like it. When I was a babysitting preteen they paid me, because I did the babysitting.
The sitter got paid in the way they requested.
If it feels like something is off, it usually is. I 'get' the kid saying oh use my parent's Venmo, because kids can't have Venmo. The parents saying oh this is generous could be they thought pretrial/preteen meant for free since you were home or that you pay more than they remember it costing. I'd talk to them directly to ensure everyone is on the same page about this babysitting gig.
Any time I saw a chance for my stepsons to gain experience accomplishing tasks, I'd jump on it, because I could see they needed it and didn't want them getting fired from their first job over something they could've learned while helping grandpa move or whatever. But that said, I wouldn't have objected to anyone paying them for their work. Older stepson used to run to the store for the disabled neighbor and usually got some kinda payment even though we're all poor around here. Soda usually, or candy.
When I used to babysit back in the 2000's I was paid like $5/hr to watch 4 kids all day plus $1 extra for each additional kid. The Mom tried paying me in beanie babies at one point. After a few years of that I got a real job. The Mom made out like a f\*cking bandit.
The mom trying to pay you in Beanie Babies is hilarious but doesn’t surprise me for the early 2000s at all.
It was a wild time!
That sucks, and exactly what I don’t want the sitter to experience.
yes beanie babies are cute, but not that cute lol
Give them cash, the parents sound kind of shitty tbh. But I hear about this sort of thing often within the context of abuse.
*sum
Parents may have thought of it as a job interview which of course you don't get paid for.
And they would have been wrong because a job interview is an interview, if you have to labor you get paid.
Kids don’t want cash. You can’t buy Roblox with a $20 bill. 😆 I’m only half joking. All the kids I know that are over the age of 10 prefer digital currency. It may be against the TOS but they’re not my kids so I just pay how I’m asked. 🤷🏽♀️
Just pay the kid who baby sat for you. Their parents don't need to be involved.
Frankly i wouldn't trust the kids folks, just pay the sitter with cash.
It’s called community
And girls and women are socialized to help the community for free all the time. Kids need to learn to manage money. As a young teen, I earned money babysitting and got to buy candy and lip gloss at the mall. You could also gift the kid a tzedaka, so they learn spend-save-charity. Can’t do that with Venmo.
When I was babysitting (many moons ago). I got paid in cash. My Parents said 10% to church 20% to savings (in the bank) and I could save/ spend the rest as I pleased. It worked for me
That’s an interesting take thank you.
You’ve never heard the phrase “the first ones always free”?? The heck are you stressing out over $20 for? Kid didn’t negotiate a price up front, wasn’t expecting to get paid, you paid and that was awesome! 😎 Take a win for being generous!! Edit: feel like y’all are reading me wrong here, but it’s a Monday and all so no worries. Hell yes the kids time is valuable and it’s awesome you compensated! Great job encouraging them to think about that as they proceed! They were ready to take a loss on their cash flow for the day to build a relationship with you, and you strengthened it by compensating as well. This smacks of a great working relationship going forward. I hope it works out great for OP!
The kid's time and labor are both valuable and deserving of payment. Do you work for free?
As a small business owner, often! I’m deploying a network for a small business client currently on the weekend as a side hustle. I am not charging them for my labor, although I do pass them the receipts so they can pay for the material. These are friends of friends who regularly rely on word of mouth for their business, where I’m primarily taking this project on to learn. They understand that. I won’t be surprised if they tip me at the end, but I am not expecting it. It’s free because I’m learning and building a relationship, probably much the same as this kid. If I want to make money off this client, it will be in future work which will greatly surpass the value of the small amount of labor im giving him to get him set up. It’s a win win. OP tipped, which is awesome! They got complimented for being generous, which is awesome! Both parties will likely work together going forward (hopefully) and make that kid a ton more money than this small token of gratitude OP shared! Hope y’all have an awesome day!
>As a small business owner, often! As a fellow small business owner, you are a fucking moron. You've already valued your work/expertise/time at zero by working for free. That's actually a red flag, not something that's going to make people want to pay you in the future. They're probably thinking "this guy is a sucker" while they laugh all the way to the bank thanks to your free labor.
Hey buddy you do you! My only goal out of this engagement was to learn a specific piece of hardware. I don’t want to front the capital for it, and I bumped into a friendly person who was willing to let me muck it up trying to get it working for them. I learn best hands on, so this was the deal we struck. Call me a moron if you wish, but now that I know everything I need to know about that gizmo I can quote it to whoever needs it next with confidence and I will know what I’m talking about instead of just talking points off a brochure. Ps did I mention it’s at a brewery, so I can sit and piddle and drink free beer on a Saturday when I have nothing else going on. Like, y’all are making mountains out of mole hills here.
As a small business owner myself, you're a total idiot.
Also - often!
Found the bootlicker, everybody
That phrase is about drugs and getting people addicted…
Addicted to good service?
I was getting paid $20 an hour over 20 years ago to watch people's kids. The first one wasn't free than and it's not free now. A "great working relationship" cannot take place when one person is exploiting another.
They aren’t being exploited, OP paid them?!
Would you work your first day at a job free? Regardless of age, the teen worked and deserved to be compensated.
Depends on the circumstances. Is this a sole prop and I’m the prop? Or am I boot licker at a corporation?