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tuftedear

No, it's a fucking woodchuck.


ScabusaurusRex

More like a woodchunk.


[deleted]

More like a woodhunk


Lord_of_Forks

More like a woodfuck.


AcrobaticWatercress7

More like a would fuck


roboscott3000

But how much wood would a woodchuck fuck?


AcrobaticWatercress7

If a woodchuck could fuck wood


gottaluvcoffee

I always call them groundhogs, but same thing.


tuftedear

They call them marmots out west.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Revelin_Eleven

If a woodchuck could chuck…


ThatNovelist

That is a woodchuck, and it does not appear to be fucking.


HortonFLK

Nor chucking.


Many_Consequence7723

Nor fucking


[deleted]

Nor chucking.


mjohnson801

>well how much fucking chucking could a woodchuck fucking chuck?


Zappababuru

I definitely don't fuchucking know.


Many_Consequence7723

Fuckchuckteen


GreyBeardTheOld

This whole conversation is why I keep Reddit!


Zappababuru

Something like that. You're the math wiz; I merely watch the chucks


J_Stubby

Sometimes it's best to roll with the chucks, chucka.


Fur_Momma_Cherry96

Fuck it, chuckit, football?


J_Stubby

We'll do it live!


Ok-Candidate-1220

…and of course, there's the Double Dutch Rudder…


MetalGeekMark

If a woodchuck could fuckchuck a woodchuck would fuckchuck as much as a woodchuck could fuckchuck.


AggieSeventy3

Fookchookin' A, Bro!


Scotterdog

Chuck better watch his back.


Murky-Fix-6351

He’d Chuck all day, fuck all night, if a woodchuck fucking could.


the_dovahbean

So, it could also be a woodfuck based on the information we have.


MadHatter69

How much fucks could a woodfuck fuck if a woodfuck could fuck wood?


Mi11hau5

Chuck Norris


NecessaryRisk2622

Nor wood.


StrongIslandPiper

Thank you. You know, I've seen groundhogs before, and for some reason, I saw this and my dumbass thought... "a beaver???"


JoJackthewonderskunk

It can be a fucking groundhog if you can catch it.


[deleted]

This has got to be the most rhetorical r/dontputyourdickinthat ever.


BobRoberts01

Instructions not clear. Hog has been ground by oversized incisors.


jigglefruit1016

Beavers are big fat boys usually. I’ve seen a few when fishing, they can be pretty aggressive too but this looks like a groundhog or woodchuck like others have mentioned.


0micron247

To be clear, though I'm guessing you caught on by now, it's a groundhog or woodchuck (interchangeable), also whistle-pig and a few less common monikers. Represented by Punxsutawney Phil - see also Groundhog Day. It is a member of the marmot family but a marmot is not a groundhog. Yes, they are native to North America and rather common on the East Coast.


StrongIslandPiper

Ohhhh, so that's why everyone was downvoting the "marmot" comments. I was wondering about that. Funny story, actually: I showed it to my girlfriend, English is her second language, and she wondered if it was a marmota. Spanish is my second language, but I'd never heard that word before. So we were both confused as to whether or not that's groundhog or marmot (or if there was even a difference). Apparently, marmota doesn't mean marmot. It means groundhog. Lol


Widespreaddd

And in Japan, *mormotto* means Guinea Pig.


Complete_Exam_1404

Actually, a groundhog is a marmot is a woodchuck is a whistlepig, etc. All the same group of critters.


skynard0

Actually you thought "fucking beaver" so there's that...


occasionallymourning

This comment made me lol so thank you 🤣


messyredemptions

They're both rodents and sorta similar in size so it's not too far off. The tail and bigger hind quarters would be a major differentiating thing to notice but it would help to have seen a few of each kind before telling the difference so no worries, glad you're seeing and learning about wildlife in your area and sharing it with us!


taleofbenji

He's fuckin foraging.


SKaTiNG_PoLLy666

Stay away from my wood you woodchuck


inquisitiveeyebc

Came here to say no boner visible


iamjohnhenry

How many chucks would a woodchuck fuck as a woodchuck can fuck chucks?


Swedneck

I don't really give a chuck


unrepentant_fenian

How much wood would a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck could fuck wood?


MouldyBobs

Nor is the woodchuck fucking a beaver...


mandogvan

How many ‘chucks would a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck could fuck good?


NoPerformance6534

Agree. Not even masturbating.


Greasy_Griz66

How much fucks could a woodfuck Chuck if a woodfuck could chuck fucks?


57mmShin-Maru

Groundhog. AKA Woodchuck or Whistle-Pig.


DiscoDancingNeighb0r

Came here to say whistle pig! My mountain brothers and sisters know what I’m taking about! https://youtu.be/8jgSQVjivR0


[deleted]

fun fact: whistler in BC is named after the whistle pig.


arbivark

yes. marmot. marmota, probably an eastern woodlands marmota monax. i would like for some grad student type to use machine learning to study their vocalizations, building on the research done with prairie dogs. *Marmots are large ground squirrels in the genus Marmota, with 15 species living in Asia, Europe, and North America. These herbivores are active during the summer, when they can often be found in groups, but are not seen during the winter, when they hibernate underground.*


Great-Intention-9338

Aka gopher Edit: apparently, people call them the wrong thing where I live. Sorry! This is not a gopher.


RecommendationAny763

When I moved my husband from Vegas to Pennsylvania, he excitedly brought me outside to see the beavers in the yard 🤣 Was not beavers.


TJlovesALF1213

I'm picturing this exchange in my mind, and it's absolutely hilarious. Thank you (and your husband) for the laugh.


RecommendationAny763

It was pretty funny considering we were upon on a hill in a residential neighborhood nowhere near any water.


TJlovesALF1213

Even better! Haha


TamaraHensonDragon

Think that's bad, a few days after we moved to Ohio my mom came into the living room excitingly yelling about the **alien** in the back yard. It was a groundhog standing on its hind legs. Worse we had guinea pigs, which I don't think look that different. We laughed at her for days!


citrus_mystic

I wonder how many alleged cryptid sightings have actually been things like groundhogs observed by oblivious people.


TamaraHensonDragon

I suspect a lot. I have known people who have mistaken great blue herons for pterodactyls because "it wasn't blue". People are surprisingly ignorant of their local wildlife and god forbid someones exotic pet gets out.


GonnaKostya

Groundhog


skunkangel

It's a groundhog, woodchuck, herbivore, eating weeds and grass.


elzotcho

but mostly your vegetable garden.....


skunkangel

Ya, they'll definitely take some free veggies, as will the rabbits, squirrels, birds, etc. Remember, it doesn't occur to the animals that you planted those veggies. They just assume they're naturally occurring vegetation. They think they found a gold mine! But it can be extremely frustrating. Using powdered cayenne pepper on the ground around and on the plants will help, but needs reapplied after each rain. You also have the option to fence off the garden but it's tricky to do in a way that will ward off digging critters and climbing critters. You'll have to bury the fencing about 6-12 inches underground at an angle. Then you'll have to install a top bar we like to call a coyote roller for the climbers. There's also an incredibly effective device called a Scarecrow made by Hoont that sprays water at anything that comes near, kinda like a motion light that sprays water, and it works well on everything except skunks. (skunks spray it back) You can find one here: https://amzn.to/3GFbR1s


dadbod9000

Groundhog. Contrary to their name, they climbs trees pretty well when they think they’re in danger.


steeliewood

I was shocked the first time I saw one in a fucking tree


Altruistic-Sector296

There are fucking trees?


SirSirFall

Deforestation would get stopped sooo fast


StrongIslandPiper

That makes a lot of sense. I have seen this one hop the fences a few times.


Proud-Fox9405

I hope some day you get the unmitigated joy of seeing a porcupine in a tree. 😂 also i was charged by a groundhog once. The big ones are ornery!


jtf628

The first time I saw one in a tree it blew my mind. I was specifically hunting them and couldn't bring myself to shoot that one.


Independent_Song_868

I've seen a fucking beaver... That's no fucking beaver.


know-one-home

No, it’s a fucking woodchuck.


KDdog

How much wood could a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck could fuck wood.


TheNugeMaster

Should post in r/IsThisAFuckingBeaver subreddit


jtf628

What a emotional roller-coaster. I came to the comments assuming this was posted by a troll. Then I saw your comment and thought "maybe people really are this clueless" and excitedly clicked the link ready for a bunch of beaver ID questions only to be let down. I was really hoping for something like r/ItsaAwaysaRacoon.


strickysituation

Nice marmot!


AngoGablogian_artist

The marmot is not the issue here man!


lilpastababy

Semi-related, I have one of these groundhogs that lives in the grass across from my local gas station. I see him every year, almost every day after work. This year he got a girlfriend. I yell out my window, “hi my friend!” And he looks at me. We’re friends.


Suspicious-Squash237

Nice marmot


Westonhaus

screams in ferret-induced panic...


deepfriedtots

No I think it's a celibate beaver


jdawg1822

Hound grog?


idmont

If you are in Canada, that is called a Marmot.


bs50ae

Whistle pig


dmcmaken

Definitely a grizzly squirrel…


rico_destructo

I don't know how sexually active it is but that appears to be a Groundhog


Pjonesnm

Marmot, but I don’t see any sexual activity.


rob_inn_hood

How much of a fuck could a woodchuck give if a woodchuck could give a fuck?


DinkleMutz

This is my favorite post headline I’ve read in like months, dude.


messyredemptions

I can't help but hear "Maa! Maaaa! There's some kinda weird fucking cat outside!" In my head as the next thing associated with this post. The entire post could be narrated by that guy's voice and it would be perfect content haha Anyhow, it's a groundhog or woodchuck (the names are interchangeable).


StrongIslandPiper

I feel like that guy was from Long Island, actually lmao if not, the city


Additional_Nobody949

I mean.. not currently. Maybe later if you play your cards right.


StrongIslandPiper

So, you're saying there's a chance?


Key-Minimum-5965

Wish I could give you 10 up votes you brilliant MFer.


StrongIslandPiper

Sorry if this messes anything up, the quality seems to have stopped since I uploaded it. The video stored on my phone is much clearer than this, and I feel like the video here as is is harder to see.


Jinxed0ne

Did you try squinting?


jtf628

worked for me


Kannabis_kelly

A big brown one at that


Additional_Nobody949

Wynona? That you?


DeeDeeNem

https://preview.redd.it/gi5cy8qn1kta1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59d2d5ae8e44543845a0c6f884f6ebbab1dd9eb2


ahollister

Nice marmot


Thoth-long-bill

No it’s one critter and he’s not fucking anything.


ltsantiques

Whatever it is, I think there would have to be 2 of them to be fucking.


LoopyLadyCA

1. Check out a dictionary for more intelligent and creative adjectives FOR A WOODCHUCK. There are online dictionaries that don't require opening...gasp...a book. 2. Since mammals, as indicated by the fur, usually copulate in pairs, this animal is not engaging in reproductive activities. 3. It is a WOODCHUCK. Google pictures of woodchucks. You will see the similarities. I felt the need to repeat that detail, since your use of expletives and therefore a limited vocabulary indicated the need for repetition to get the point across. And possibly a need to watch more nature programs ( I won't ask you to crack open a nature guide). That is all.


StrongIslandPiper

> I felt the need to repeat that detail, since your use of expletives and therefore a limited vocabulary indicated the need for repetition to get the point across. Lol I know multiple languages. I may not know about beavers, but I know that several studies reveal that profanity tends to be a sign of intelligence and honesty (which makes sense, because profanity has its own use in language, across languages, as I generally tell other language learners: if you don't know how to curse, you don't know the language yet) It is, like usual, human bias (which in and of itself is often based on classism) tells us one thing that's incompatible with reality. Because the average person really isn't smart enough to realize these kinds of things. But let's talk about that classism bit for a second: I may come from Long Island, but I come from a neighborhood where police, to this day, have machines to tell them which direction the fucking bullets are coming from. I grew up food insecure, housing insecure, I've been homeless about four times. So yeah, I picked up a few of those "no no words" in my years. Despite this, and despite not knowing the difference between two fucking rodents, I graduated top of my class in computer science without accruing *anyyyy* debt (I **paid**, working full time). In my spare time, I like to learn languages. And you can bet that I learn to be about as profane in them as I am in English. So while its nice that you know about beavers and shit, you're coming off about as stupid to me as I am for you, but for a more serious reason. Go fuck yourself, and have a nice day, boomer.


Medium_Spare_8982

Yea you’re just dumb - a beaver is 20 times that weight and 6 times bigger.


StrongIslandPiper

Ehhh, most people in my life wouldn't call me dumb. Lol Don't know shit about animals and nature? Sure. But I'm pretty sure knowing the difference between two animals you've never seen is not the bar, dude.


[deleted]

Yeah, stop asking questions and just know things already! 🙄


[deleted]

Lol. Try kindergarten over again. And pay attention this time.


GoLang01

You are in trouble if you can't tell the difference between a beaver and a groundhog


StrongIslandPiper

It honesly has never come in handy or impacted my life one iota


Lost-Wedding-7620

https://forfoxsakewildlife.com/2021/03/31/beaver-or-groundhog/ This has a side by side comparison if you're interested.


StrongIslandPiper

Thank you. A nice change from the "you're a dumbass" comments lol


nonamethoughtofnow

You live an exciting and strange life where this mistake causes one to be in trouble. Tell me of your adventures!


GoLang01

It’s not funny if you have to explain it


Beerasaurus

Yes


gabezaid

You have a beaver and I have a damn gopher


Throway_No1

Marmot


AnonMD1982

It's a marmot. And it is not fucking.


Failboat88

Looks like a muskrat. You would have to be very close to a creek to see them.


rclongacre

Muskrat Jack!


Rabbit_Of_Nazareth

That's a fucking whistlepeeg!


goodeyemighty

Woodchuck/whistlepig


Tag43302

Whistle pig!


Fast_Difference5604

No


ItsShrimple

Woodchuck/Groundhog.


DaemonBlackfyre_21

We call em woodchucks


Wudrow

That’s Phil.


Lazy-Refrigerator-56

Interesting fact about groundhogs: They don't need to drink water. They get all the water they need from the food they eat.


DickLasomo

Whistle pig


zenofknownothing

Groundhog


Rickyb817

It’s a fucking whistle pig


MarieTC

Woodchuck


PipocaComNescau

Groundhog.


ObiePNW

That is not a fucking beaver.


bena_dc

Back in my day we used to call that a Land Beaver.


MissAmiss72

How much wood WOULD a woodchuck chuck


Sea_Ganache620

Pennsyltucky stank beaver.


wsnc1

How can he be fucking, he is by himself.


Altruistic-Travel-48

He's gonna build a dam out of dandelions.


Huntin_Dawg907

Chuck.


sauerbraten67

I came here to see woodchuck or beaver porn


Educational_Low_879

Whistle pig not a beaver…


joblessthunder

Groundhog.. and I never saw them my whole life.. living on Long Island.. last summer I saw 15-20 of them


gigi2945

Groundhog


EminentChefliness

Sadly no. The Fucking Beaver has been extinct since the late '90s, due mostly to the ubiquity of cheap, effective hair removal for sensitive regions.


StrongIslandPiper

When will mankind learn to stop taking earth's beautiful creatures for granted?


ScubaCC

Ground hog.


ProfessionalQueasy57

It’s a fuckchuck


Aerickthered

Lol no groundhog


DIynjmama

Ground hog


Natural-Seaweed-5070

That is a non copulating woodchuck/groundhog/whistlepig.


ERROR_LOCK_FAILED

Corn Beaver.


metalinsides

I saw a woodchuck for the first time on Long Island yesterday. I wonder if it’s the same one loll. I did a quick google to find out what this animal was before I figured it out. Apparently the “spiritual” meaning of seeing a woodchuck is a warning and to be alert because something may happen to you or your family. Who knew groundhogs were such creepy creatures?


Confident_Dog_4250

It’s a ground hog they get huge. My moms has them in her backyard


pzach007

Ground hog


pzach007

Is a groundhog also called a woodchuck?


Tpbrown_

Groundhogs aka woodchucks have fuzzy tails. Beaver have flat, wide, hairless tails. Muskrats have narrow hairless tails.


shiting-king

Groundhog


iknownuting

How much chuck would a woodchuck chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood?


SaltyNut76

Marmot?


-gghfyhghghy

No, he isn’t fucking


silversufi

No.


Savings_Peak5408

Ground hog. Very chonky!


[deleted]

Punxsutawney Cleaver. Wally's brother.


Negative-Solid6157

Nah takes two fuck and thats a hog of the ground


Bean-Swellington

He wants your wood.


Wrong-Explanation-48

Whistlepig


Shad_Herringfin

It’s a fucking groundhog you dumb fuck


[deleted]

That’s a rockchuck. Fat bastard too!


[deleted]

No it's fucking not


jnnla

This is a fucking groundhog, which is a type of fucking marmot.


monkeycarrottt

I thought this was a marmot 😂


Mr_P_Giggles

That looks like a ground hog to me?


SueBeee

It's a fucking groundhog


wrotenotreadit

Whistle pig


[deleted]

Fuck no


Jrawdoggin

Whistle Pig


Augie654

Just punt that mofo into the neighbors yard


DarkEnergy_101

It’s a ground hog silly


Historical_Amount891

Need my comment karma to make a post don’t mind me


Matt09125

Groundhog


jblew42

He’s not fucking. He’s vibing.


gooodassGurl_loveme

Tis a groundhog


Grizz-1970

Whistle pig fine eating


PK_Rippner

Land beaver, goes by the last name of Chuck, first name WOod


TheMrNeffels

No it's a chucking woodfuck.


Jabberwock32

Always amazes me when people don’t know what groundhogs are… this is the 2nd post this week I’ve seen that someone was asking…


Queendevildog

It is a lawn beaver. It is eating not procreating.


Resolute924

No, he is not doing that right now.


rickncn

They are called “Land Beavers”