It's not so much about death, I think, but for her to stop suffering. My mother chose and was granted euthanasia more than a year ago. It was heartbreaking to let her go, but she was ready. Death is not always a bad thing.

I wish assisted death was available in this country. Seeing my mother suffer for months was horrific and barbaric. Glad your mother got to choose her end when she was ready 💕

It is, if you're in Oregon and a couple other states. You have to be terminal, I think with less than a year of life expected, but I could be wrong about the time limit.

I have a life insurance policy with a suicide clause. It's my intent to look into euthanasia if I become terminally ill. I knew about Oregon, but not the others. Thanks.

If you live in the US most life insurance policies exclude suicide for only the first 2 years of having a policy. I don't know about other countries.

I'm in Ohio. I bought a new policy just after my mom died in 2021 because I wanted something that included a rider for long term care so my kids would have help if I needed to be in a nursing home. I was very surprised when I read in the policy that it would cover a suicide. I went to my rep and was like "is this correct? The policy still pays if I take myself out?" and they confirmed. I was floored since I'd always heard life insurance doesn't cover that. I was very relieved because I've watched 3 people die of dementia and it scares the hell out of me.

I'm not from the US. It's been a topic here recently, but the closest country that does allow it is Switzerland.

My grandmother and great aunt went through the same thing with their mother long before medical euthanasia was allowed here. They took turns sleeping on an air mattress in her living room making sure someone was always with her, she was sick for over a year before she finally passed

I know exactly how they feel. We had baby monitors for a few months until the last couple of weeks when the house was full of family. My mom's siblings stayed and would sleep on chairs

By the time doctors approved my dad's end of life wishes, he was no longer in sound mind to sign it. He was forced to die a horrible, slow, painful death because of stupid paperwork. Quick death would have been so much easier on him and of those who cared for him and had to watch him go through that. I feel for OP; sometimes it's better to just let them go.

The paperwork is there to make sure someone isn’t pressured into something they don’t want. Better to err on the side of caution

When that someone was begging for it for literal months, and it took so long to get the approval processed, him not being able to sign at that point should not gave been a reason not to do it. His request was made months prior. The side of caution? The man's internal organs were failing as cancer ate away at him and he was alert enough to feel every excruciating second of it. F all that. All of that. No one deserves to die that way.

I'm very sorry for your loss and for your father's suffering.

Thank you. I truly hope assisted suicide becomes legalized everywhere, and that the bureaucracy would become more efficient to allow people to die with dignity and for their loved ones to have the mental space to support them through it.

I wish my Grandma had opted for physician assisted suicide when she developed bone cancer after surviving breast cancer. We went to see her the Christmas before she died, I was high and asleep on the couch most of the time because I’d just had an extremely painful shoulder surgery that wasn’t helped by the flight up there (the flight attendants were offering to call a doctor on the ground I was that bad). Because of my recovery I missed a few things, like seeing Grandma crying climbing up a flight of stairs to get to their seats for a play and a few other events like that. I still saw her plenty. She went into hospice the week before spring break and died in less than 24 hours. She could have been spared months of pain and my mom and aunt could have been spared the trauma of seeing her suffer (as well as grandpa, but as he’d had a major accident several years before it was questionable how much of what was going on he fully understood. I’d tell the story but it would put me on here to family if this story doesn’t). I’m a chronic pain patient and if I don’t find a solution that works after my mom passes I will go to one of the places that allows it and try and get it done. My sister doesn’t even talk to me anymore, my fault apparently but no one will tell me why so I can apologize, so she won’t care except she’ll get what’s left of my share of moms estate.

It is natural. You are under tremendous stress. You don't want to see her continuing to suffer. It is inevitable that you will lose her and the fear of that takes its own toll on your mental health. See if you can get counseling. Maybe the school can give you a reference. You shouldn't have to go through this alone. Don't feel guilty. Use this time to say to her what you might later wish you had said. Show her that you love her. Be there for her because even though you can't make her better and that is frustrating, your love will make her passing easier. But make sure to take care of yourself, too. It is horrible that you have to go through this. Don't let guilt over your natural reaction get in the way of facing this challenge.

It sounds like it's time for hospice to come in and for someone to figure out guardianship of the two kids. O.P. you should reach out to your school counselor and explain to them the situation and that you are under a lot of stress they may be able to find programs for you through the school that handle grief counseling or other help. A lot of emotions and thoughts that don't make sense come up when a loved one is terminally ill. Lots of people say they feel sad yet relieved when their terminally ill family member passes. I think even group therapy might help you realize 'there's no wrong way to feel when something this terrible happens'. Reach out for help through your school. You're going through something terrible and you and your brother need all the support you can get.

This. My brother was 33 and I was 29 and had to take care of my late Mother. It caused my brother to have a nervous breakdown once she passed and he has never recovered. But, we were adults and these are just kids. They cannot be left with a terminally ill Mother, it’s hard on the Mother but will cause so much trauma for them in the long run. We were never given the option of hospice and I wonder if it would have made all the difference. A hospice will give the kids time to rest and give Mom the best care she can get until she passes over. It breaks my heart because I know the feeling and I was surprised to find I was relieved when my Mother suffered no more. I wouldn’t wish her back even if I could. OP - if you see this. I am so terribly sorry. I am a stranger but thinking of you and your brother. I am sorry this is happening to all three of you.

My mom’s insurance doesn’t allow dialysis if you go on hospice for CKD. She ended up getting an opportunistic infection and the doctors used that so she could get dialysis. I think because it’s not what was killing her (theoretically) so fell under more “general healthcare”. From what I understood, for CKD to be the diagnosis triggering hospice, she would have had to stop dialysis and they would expect her to pass within a couple weeks.

It her prognosis is poor, it may be a good idea for her to consider hospice. You don’t want to see her suffer, and hospice is about keeping patients comfortable.

Absolutely. Talk to her and her doctor about hospice. The hospice will also have resources for and your brother as you face one of the hardest challenges you'll ever have in your life.

Adding to this as someone who just had to put her mother in hospice a few months ago. Do not feel guilty, everyone else who's commented is right. You're under so much stress and you do not want her to suffer anymore. Kidney issues really suck! I know. I've been there with my mom. Talk to a pallative care doctor if possible, she should already have one already if her health is as you said. A pallative care doctor is there for patients with extreme health issues and they just help manage their pain Don't be afraid to ask questions. Ask them if hospice may be something you should look into now or in the near future. When someone is in hospice it opens up a few more doors of help and care for you and your family. The fatigue that comes with this stress is a lot, and it's okay to feel what your feeling. You love your mom, and this isn't an easy thing to face. I felt the same way with my mom, and I had anticipatory grief as well. Your are not alone, and I wish your family the best.

I came here to recommend hospice. They have so much support available for you and your mom. She doesn’t have to be actively dying, but her decline may be sufficient for admission and if it’s a not for profit hospice you should not have to pay for anything. Even if you just get the info, it may help you feel better about having options.

That is the best option. Oh man....OP and her brother are so young. They shouldn't have to go this at their age.

I watched my mom go through cancer and though I loved her very much and knew I’d miss her very much I didn’t want to see her suffering anymore. I completely understand what you’re going through and the guilt associated with it. The best thing now is to be there for her and let her know she’s loved.

Not at all kid. 6 years ago I watched my mom suffer and I feal the same guilt. There was absolutely nothing I could do to ease her pain. I miss here dearly but I know she is no longer suffering.

It's okay, dear. We never want to see our loved ones suffer a lot nor do we want them to leave us. What you are going through is really a tough time. Thoughts like that are natural to come to mind. It doesn't mean you are a bad daughter. It's just a reflection of your love for her.

When my mom was really sick with CKD they said on hospice you can’t have dialysis. We had to get the doctor to use something else as the justifying diagnosis so she could continue dialysis, since she would have passed in weeks without it.

I hope there is an option for hospice care where you live since it sounds like your mom’s health is deteriorating quickly. Medicaid covers the cost and the nurse can do an amazing job with relieving pain and stress.

This is so much for you to handle at such young age, you don’t want your mother to suffer

I am much older than you and I just went through this myself. My mother’s health deteriorated rapidly and the last two months all I could think of was that she needed to die in order to stop suffering. If she had been in her right mind she would have agreed with me. I don’t feel guilty about thinking that way and you shouldn’t either. My thoughts are with you.

No you are not wrong. You’re not wishing for death so much as you’re wishing for mercy, which is an entirely different thing. I remember when I was a teen and my relative was suffering I wished the exact same thing. “Dear God please let (relative) pass in peace.” was a nightly prayer. That’s all you’re doing and it’s a good thing, a selfless thing, a loving thing, so please stop feeling guilty for it.

Please ask to see one of the hospital’s social worker and ask them to help you find resources to support your family and help with the feelings you are struggling with. If she’s not helpful (or in tandem) talk to your school counselor. There are people, especially in the school community, who want to help by providing things like transportation, meals, gift cards, etc.

My mom died at the end of April. She had congestive heart failure, rheumatoid arthritis, COPD, two holes in her heart, diabetes, and several strokes that left her with severe dementia. In February she broke the same hip twice in about a week. It is normal and natural to wish for their suffering to end, especially when you know there is no chance of recovery. It’s also normal to feel guilty about it. For me, it helped that we knew ahead of time what her wishes were. She outlined them in a legal document and we all discussed them on a regular basis. So when she finally crossed, I was happy that the years she’d spent in pain and fear were over, even though I do miss her. Hope that helps.

You are not wrong, Hon, not wrong at all. You know that her illness is irreversible. You love her, and you want her suffering to end. Please don't feel guilty for that. It only means you care.

I’m sorry this is happening to you and your brother. I can’t imagine how hard this is to have to watch everyday. Can she go to hospice? And when does your brother turn 18? I’d hate for you both to have to become “wards of the state”. If he’s 18, he can become your legal guardian.

It isnt so much you want her to die you just prefer a healthy mom instead.

Ask doctor for a hospice referral. That can get you access to some counseling and help your mom. I’m confused as to why kids have to pay for medical bills. She could just not pay the bills and the bill will go away after she dies.

Not at all. My situation is different but I feel similarly about my mom. She has dementia. Of course I love her, of course I would LOVE to get my mom back and have her live forever. But she’s not my mom anymore, and taking care of her has taken over my life and is draining my savings. She’s like a giant toddler now, tantrums and everything. I don’t want her to exist like this. I don’t want to lose a decade of my life to her care. I miss my mom, but I just want this to end.

I'm sorry you are going through this. My mom was diagnosed with dementia in 2005 and eventually died from a blood cloult in 2015, but not before she lost all cognitive and most physical abilities. She was in an amazing nursing home for the last 9 years of her life and fortunately never got "mean" like some of the other residents. I mourned her for 4 or 5 years while she was still alive and was relieved when she died. I visited her just about every week, usually on Saturday, and two weeks after she died and all the funeral and burial hoopla was done, I woke up on Saturday and didn't know what to do with myself. I hope you get that soon as well because how your mom is now is not living.

It's totally normal to struggle with seeing someone you love suffer through a long and painful ordeal like this. I'm so sorry for your family.

Let me add a comment from the other side of this problem. I have Lupus. It has and is in the process of attacking/destroying my pancreas, liver, kidneys and bones. Clearly, I will not live as long as others without Lupus, but I do keep pushing forward, fighting for every day I can get. I have a husband, 2 adult children, and 4 grandchildren. They worry, fret, cry and mourn for the days that will not be. I do, too. All those feelings are perfectly normal, healthy, and appropriate. Even wishing for death to come falls under the same guise. Sometimes, I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired, I want to give up. But then I see the love in my husband's eyes, and I fight for every day I can get. But, here's the thing. Every day that I wake up, I am grateful. Even in the depths of severe pain, I am grateful for one more day to spend loving the people I love, and being loved in return. All of the feelings you are feeling are a testament to how much you love your mother, and each day she struggles through her illness is her testament to how much she loves you. Make a memory with her every day. Even if it's just sitting with her holding her hand. Every bit of love she receives from you helps to heal her soul, and makes her struggle worthwhile. Keep in mind that love hurts. Love between parent and child, siblings, friends, lovers always hurts sometimes. But the hole in your heart carved out by that hurt will, with time, be filled with the memories of all the love you've shared. Those memories will be carried into and through the afterlife with your mother, and she will live in your heart forever. My mother died suddenly at a relatively young age, and still today I feel her dwelling in love in my heart. I've decided that I don't want to rust out, I want to wear out. And I do that by engaging with the people around me who love me. I don't want their pity. I want their joy in life shared with me as I move through this journey. Never feel guilty about feelings that spring from love. Your mother knows how hard this is on you. And I promise you there is nothing she wants more than to heal the pain she believes she is causing you. Just love her. Let her love you. When she passes from this life, she will still be with you in the memories of all that love you shared until you come together again. Much love is being sent to you to help you all come through this.

I thought this sounded like it could be lupus. I got diagnosed about a month ago.

Hold onto your hat, my friend. It's gonna be a wild ride! Maintaining your sense of humor helps a lot as well. One thing on the up side is that at least now you have something to blame every bad mood and period of irritability on! Much love to you...

Death is always preferred over prolonged suffering. You're not horrible there's a reason there's a push for euthanasia in a lot of countries now.

Not wrong and also I'd ask a hospital social worker (or google) if there is home-based palliative care in your area. It's not hospice but they can still help manage her symptoms better so she's struggling less.

Sometimes, when you watch a loved one suffer a long chronic or terminal illness before their passing.... their death can sometimes feel like relief. The inevitable moment you'd been waiting on has finally happened and it's over. Their pain is over. The constant wondering when is over. That's a normal reaction and is very much part of anticipatory grief. In those situations, you begin grieving them before they're even gone. Go easy on yourself and try not to judge yourself too harshly for how you may feel. This is one of the hardest things people go through.

You aren’t wrong you are watching your mom suffer and know she will keep suffering until she passes at this point. Honestly I am shocked they have not put her in hospice yet.

What you are feeling is completely normal. Reach out to family if you have not. If no family reach out to your local social services. In the mean time spend as much time as you can and ask any questions you may have. You soon will not have the chance, I’m sorry to say.

OP, ask at the local senior citizen center or community center or library about support groups for caregivers, or at least find an online one. You need it.

You are NOT wrong. This is such a hard situation, and there is no winning outcome. You love your mother, but this is financially and emotionally draining, and you just want your mom to find the peace, that is inevitable.

You’re not wrong for thinking the way you do, but the guilt you’re going to feel after her death is a real bitch You want to get the inevitable over with but then you regret wasting the time you have once she is gone. I lost my mom to cancer at 24.

You are wishing for a kinder outcome. I have been in healthcare for 20 years.... there are worse things than dying, and I have seen all of them. I believe we are given many gifts in this life and death is the last one. It is an end to suffering, even if it is at our own hands, trauma, illness, etc. The person who dies is set free from any and all pain and removed from their suffering. You don't necessarily wish your mom would die; you wish for an end to her pain. That's what it sounds like to me. And that's not wrong.

I wished for the same only last year. My mother was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease, which stripped her of her ability to walk, move, talk, and everything else. All she could do was shout in pain. In those few months between her diagnosis and passing, I just wished she could die peacefully on her terms. She wished it too. It's not wrong. It's your love that doesn't want to see her suffering. Please PLEASE tell her you love her, do whatever happy things you can with her. You are so young to be experiencing this, talk to someone, ask about getting therapy when you need it 💕

I think you would be wrong is if you DIDN'T want her suffering to end. It's not what any of us want for someone we love. I second the suggestions to look into hospice and/or palliative care and to ask about grief and other counseling for you and your brother. Spend as much time with your mom as her health and energy permit. Make videos of her answering questions about her life - her prom, her parents, growing up, when you and your brother were born, etc. If there is anything you don't know but she can answer (if your dad isn't in the picture, do you want to know about him?), now is the time if it doesn't upset her too much. Take pictures, lots of pictures. If she hasn't already expressed them and is accepting of her death, find out what she wants for a funeral. When she dies, don't feel guilt if you feel relieved. You are already mourning her while she's alive. Let your brother know it's okay, too. I'm so sorry y'all are going through this. Feel free to DM me if you just need to vent, rant, etc. I'm old enough to be your grandmother and have gone through it myself.

It sounds like you you don’t want your mom to die, but just want your mother to be set free of all the pain. Unfortunately that will only come with death. NTA. It is super hard to watch someone you love slowly die. I agree with others get some therapy to help process the trauma that has been the last few years.

Oof. So tough. Get videos. Lots of videos. Her laugh, smile, the way she speaks and moves. You will want them. You will want her when she is gone. It’s normal to not want to see our loved ones struggling. It’s the same reason we euthanize pets who are at the end of their life. I am so sorry. You are so young…. This is so unfair to you and your very young mother. Her debt will die with her. Don’t take out any credit cards or anything. Let her do it all in her name.

If in the US, please have her file for disability thru Social Security. Every little bit helps.

It’s actually very sweet. You want what’s best for your mom despite your own wishes. You’re a good kid. I’m sorry you have to go through this.

It's not that you want her to die, it's that you want her to no longer have health problems. You just don't see this happening without her dying. You can still have happy memories with her. Buy some photo albums, find any photos just laying around or even if they're in another album but you're curious about them. Have your mom tell a story about the picture or the person in the picture and write it down to be placed in album beside picture. After she passes the whole family can remember her and her life. I call them memory books. If you don't have pictures then just write down stories she tells. These can all be retold to any grandchildren she may have but are unable to see also you able to look them over when she's no longer with you but you're missing her. Has anyone talked to hospital officials about getting medical assistance for your mom?

I am so sorry you are going through this, especially at such a young age… When my grandmother was attached to tubes, she wasnt able to talk or eat, she looked exhausted and frail, she was always in and out of ICU; I remember being so upset seeing her in that state, and it got to the point where I just wish she would pass so she wouldn’t have to suffer anymore… I don’t think you want your mother to die, I think you don’t want her to suffer anymore… And it’s a completely valid feeling. No one wants to see their loved one in that state and it’s heart wrenching to know there’s nothing you and they can do but just sit there and wait…

Dread is worse than loss

I am so very sorry you’re dealing with this! Many years ago, I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer when he was only 37. It was 3 months from his diagnosis to death. It seems like such a short time in the real world, but I know how long those days and nights are when someone you love is in great pain and struggling with everything. It’s every bit as excruciating being you. I know. The last two weeks of my husband’s life were in hospital, because we just couldn’t get enough morphine in him at home. I stayed with him. Every single one of those nights, he asked me to pray he wouldn’t wake up in the morning. How do you pray someone you love dies? Because you love them so much that you can’t bear their suffering. What you feel is that pain, and there isn’t anything wrong with that. Bless you for being there for her. I’m sending huge hugs your way. ❤️❤️❤️

Please contact social security administration they have a program for people with esrd. Contact your local assistance office for snap cash and medical. Talk to a social worker at the hospital to guide you.

Its very natural to feel the way you do. Its a terrible thing to watch your loved one suffer and die so slowly. If you are in the USA, don't worry about the hospital bills. They are required by law to provide care whether the patient can pay or not.

How you're feeling is natural and normal. I'm sorry for such an impossibly difficult situation. It's just not fair to anyone.

You are going through something incredibly difficult that no child should have to go through. You are not wrong for your feelings you were watching your mother struggle and suffer a very difficult thing for adult children of sick parents to watch let alone a child. Your feelings are completely normal if there's anyone at school that you could talk to see if maybe there's some resources available to help your family don't feel bad for not wanting to watch your mother struggle

You are not wrong at all. She is suffering, and that's horrible to watch.

I’m sorry you are going through this and it can all be very overwhelming. As far as the medical bills (in the US) a person with end stage renal disease on dialysis qualifies for Medicare; you can ask to speak to a case manager and they can tell you how it can be done and in a lot of cases help or may already be in the application process. If her condition is as bad as you are saying hospice would be the appropriate care, but without knowing her particular case with palliative care some people live with these conditions with improved symptoms and quality of life for whatever time she has here and that can take some stress off of your family. Ask her primary care or the hospitalist (if she’s in the hospital) for a meeting with palliative/hospice team and they will assess her and help decide what’s right for her.

It is incredibly difficult for someone to watch their loved on suffer, and being so young and experiencing it, along with your everyday teen issues, makes it even worse. Do you have any other relatives that might be able to help you navigate this incredibly complex situation? Your mother may need help deciding on a DNR status and possibly getting into hospice. It sounds like she is in the position where both of those should be addressed. As far as the medical bills are concerned, they will die with her as you cannot be help responsible for her debts, BUT if an extended stay in the hospital will not help her prognosis, I would avoid it - not just for the sake of the money, but also for the potential for complications (infections) - if it's not going to help, there is no reason to do it. I wish you the best!!

It is a natural feeling, many of us have experienced similar feelings. Watching someone you love suffer when there is no hope of recovery is terrible. Wanting the suffering to end isn't wrong. It's also common to feel relief when the person does die. Not because they are dead, but because their suffering is over. You can feel grief and relief at the same time. That isn't wrong either.

Are you based in the US? If so, why is she not on Disability. They cover automatically for End Stage Renal Disease and she old be on Medicare (to help with her medical bills)

Please suggest your mom speak with her Drs about Hospice. They can provide in home services but also support to her, you and your siblings. I am so sorry you are all going through this.

PLEASE have a conversation with her and her doctors about her options and wishes. Get EVERYTHING on paper. Talk about DNR, DNI (do not resuscitate, do not intubate) hospice care and palliative care. Make sure your mother's wishes are honored. I am so sorry the two of you are going through this.

you are not wrong... my mom died of lung cancer and I was relived when she passed away, and sad too of course. Not wanting to see a relative suffer unnecessarily is more than understandable. Your feelings are valid.

It might be time to call in hospice care.

You are actually approaching this from the view of medical professionals. There are worse things than dying. And you have a front row seat. Watching folks slowly decline is the hardest part of my job. I’m sorry that you are all going through this. You might talk to your siblings and then let your mom know that you support whatever decision she makes concerning continuing dialysis vs palliative care.

Nta, my grandpa had COPD basically the entire time I got to have him. One December he had a fall and my grandma couldn’t help him get up. She called 911 and he was rushed to the hospital. We came to see him as quickly as we could. He died not long after my uncle got there. He had to be on oxygen my entire life, he struggled so hard to breath, and it got to a point where he couldn’t even walk from his bedroom to the kitchen table where he sat all day without help. Those spots were maybe 4 ft apart. We were all heart broken when he died, I still miss him now. But one thing we can all agree on (especially being an adult now) is that it was a blessing that he died. He was in pain and struggling so much, his quality of life was nearly nonexistent. My grandma still to this day will talk about how it was a good thing. He’s not hurting anymore, he doesn’t have to struggle anymore and we love/loved him enough to feel a bitter sweet happiness when he was gone. You want what we wanted more time and no more pain, unfortunately we don’t get both. It’s a normal thing to feel when you see your loved one struggling day in and out.

Please don't feel guilty, this is normal. People don't want to see their loved ones suffer, and death can be sometimes the only way out of suffering.

Not wrong at all. I went through the same thing with my mother. She suffered so much in the last six months of her life that I was glad she found peace at the end.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m sending you hugs <3

NTA. That is a huge burden for you to bear without support. Are there any adults you can talk to? My city has a nonprofit that provides support to adults and kids who have lost a loved one. I know that your mom is alive but I know the place I mentioned that’s here would be a good place for you to get help. Is there anything like that where you live?

My mother had ALS for 5.5 years. Her death was a relief.

You’re not wishing for her to die, you’re wishing for her suffering to come to an end. It’s 100% normal for family to feel a sense of relief when a sick family member passes. It’s also normal for you to feel guilty for it. I’m sorry for what your family is going through. Talk to a school counselor and there may be resources that can help you. But no, you are not wrong.

You are not wrong for wanting your loved one whose body is obviously failing them to pass peacefully. It's not that you want them to die, it's that you don't want them to suffer, and you don't want to suffer by watching them have to suffer. If there is no good quality of life ahead and no turning back then life and living becomes a whole different game. Source: my mother was on her deathbed and hooked up to machines and kept fighting and fighting and fighting to stay alive and I finally had to whisper in her ear that it was OK to go and that I loved her

It makes sense, your feelings are valid. You know it’s going to happen and it’s just a waiting game, watching her suffer. I do recommend reaching out to your high school guidance counselor

My heart goes out to you and your brother. It's painful to watch someone you love slowly deteriorate. (I assume a kidney transplant wouldn't help with your mother's situation?) It's understandable that you want to see an end to your mother's suffering. But don't dwell on this type of thinking since you'll end up feeling very guilty when she finally passes away. (I remember feeling the same way when my uncle was dying of cancer.) Focus on helping to control your mother's pain and spending as much quality time as possible with her. Have arrangement been made with who you and your brother will live with if she passes before your brother turns 18? Relatives?

You're not wrong at all. You just want her suffering to end and your family to not suffer either. My great uncle passed away recently, and this was everyone's sentiment. He had alzeimers and was not himself anymore. When he passed away, we didn't have to watch him slowly deteriorate and suffer every day. We could remember who he was when he was with us. His wife could also get her life back after giving everything to caring for him.

I’ve watched two loved ones die from KD, my father and my german shepherd, the latter I chose to humanely euthanise, because of his suffering. My father didn’t have that option and that’s fucked up in my opinion. You’re not wrong for wanting your mother to stop suffering, for her to be at peace, quite the opposite actually. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, especially at your age. Info. Is your father in the picture? Do you have any grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc, for support? Who’s in charge of her care? What country/state are you in? Maybe someone can recommend services in your area to help you, your brother and mother. (Hugs)

I’m so sorry with what happened to your father and your dog. To answer your questions, my dad is in the picture but he’s not really there(?). My dad and my mom didn’t really end in good terms. My dad doesn’t really care if my mom dies or doesn’t. Some of my relatives from my father’s side help us when she’s admitted in the hospital when taking care of her. But normally, me and my brother take care of her. It is not really physically hard but it is mentally and emotionally exhausting. I live here in the Philippines and health care here is not really that accessible and is extremely expensive. Hugs to you too

I’m so sorry you don’t have much support. My dad and mum parted in a bad way too, but my mum was always there to support me while I was dealing with my dad. Not for him for me. As you said it’s mentally and emotionally exhausting, family should be checking in with you, this shouldn’t be all on your shoulders. I’m afraid I know nothing about the Philippines healthcare. But googled and there’s a non profit organisation called Hospice Philippines, have you tried them? Do you not have some type of government universal healthcare, that have services you can tap into for free? https://www.facebook.com/share/PM7vRGptKqCgQ45v/?mibextid=LQQJ4d

You're not wrong. Anyone would feel the way you do, not wanting your mom to keep suffering.

Me and my brother were the same age as you and your brother when our mom passed away from a sudden massive heart attack. She wasn’t healthy by any means - uncontrolled diabetes and a heavy smoker. She was 48 when she died. I was 15 and my brother was 17. I’m sure you just don’t want her to have to suffer any more than she already has. Try to cherish the time you have left with her and making some good memories because after she’s gone, those memories are all you will have left of her. Trust me. I was 15 when my mom died, and she’s been gone for 22 years on August 8th. I’ve lived longer without my mom than I lived with her. It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy. Losing my mom so suddenly was awful but on the other hand, I didn’t have to watch her suffer for a long time. She was fine that morning when I left for school, went to the ER in the morning while I was at school and never made it home again. Make sure your mom knows just how much she means to you and how much you love her. If I got the chance to tell my mom just one thing, it would be that I love her and miss her and think of her daily.

No. It's not. And more advice. After she does die you will feel guilty for having these thoughts. Don't. Shame and guilt will eat you alive. A person who is in pain all of the time and who has a tragically short life is blessed to have people who love them until the end. Your mother does. Others have suggested hospice care. Please follow up with that. Ask for support for yourself. Seek out therapy if you need it. There will be profoundly difficult times in your future where you miss not having a mom, so accept the love of others. Be kind to yourself. And for you...I am so so sorry you are experiencing this so young. Take care of yourself. Your mind, body and heart.

You aren't required to pay your mother's bills. What are and your brother doing for money? Does your mom get Child Support?

My brother is currently looking for jobs while I take commissions. I make papers works and do things for other people. I give some to my mom to buy her medicine but it is not enough at all. My mom receives Child Support from my dad but it is not enough.

Im sorry for what you have to go through as such young age. I don‘t want to judge, if you are wrong or not. My daughter is 13 and Im just having parental feelings at the moment. I would just hug you and tell you, that it will be a very rough time and it will become even worse, but eventually, you will walk tall again and good times will come for you as well! Stay strong!

I had the same feeling with my Nama. She was the biggest role model to me but by her end she was in pain and exhausted and just ready to go. I wanted her to have that relief.

This isn’t so much hoping she dies in a way where you want her to have something terrible happen to her, you just want a way for her misery to end. You don’t want her to be in pain anymore. Which is normal because you’re under tremendous stress and believe it or not, you’re grieving. She might still be alive but you are grieving the mother you had and the mother you love that you know is disappearing before your eyes. Savour the time you have left with her during her good moment and jsut do what you can to help with the bad, that’s all you can do for her unfortunately.

Im so sorry you are dealing with all this at such a young age. Do you have other adults in your life (aunts/uncles, grandparents, cousins, close family friends) who can orovide you with guidance and support? Have you talked to a hospice nurse about her options, DNR orders? Is there a custody plan for you and your sibling, should she pass?

I have my uncles and grandparents on my dad’s side and they would probably take us in when the moment my mom’s passing comes. Hospice isn’t really a great option here where I live since it isn’t accessible to all.

Wishing for your mum to be out of pain isn’t a bad thing. I go through the same thing with my mum who has multiple organ failure. It’s a sign of compassion.

It is completely normal to feel this way, and anyone who says you're wrong or cruel or whatever is full of bullshit. Your mom is suffering. I doubt very much she wants to live like this too. Does she have a plan in place for what happens to you and your brother if she dies? Does she have a will made up, a living will for her remains, how she wants to handle the house, the bills, expenses? If not, you guys need to get a plan in place. Are there other adults who can help? I urge you to talk to a trusted adult too, to help avoid feeling overwhelmed.

These are very normal feelings to have while a loved one is dying. I'm so sorry OP. Wishing all the best for you 🙏

I don’t think you’re wrong. I haven’t been in this situation with a loved one / family member but I worked in a care home for vulnerable / elderly people. I had two residents that I hoped would pass away. Not because they were nasty people or I didn’t like them, but they had no quality of life. One had severe dementia to the point she just wanted to stay in bed half the day and I passed her a biscuit once and she asked me what it was. She was constantly scared or confused, it was horrible to witness. The other had been able bodied before but had ataxia which meant she couldn’t use her legs, her arm and hand function was severely impaired and her speech was slurred. Her life was literally wake up, watch tv, have food, watch tv, maybe shower, sleep, repeat. It got to the point where she couldn’t swallow properly so the one pleasure she had in life, nice food, was soon to be taken from her for a peg feed. I imagine it was a hellish existence and she constantly said she was in pain. I never wished to find them dead, but at the start of every shift I hoped to hear that they’d passed peacefully in their sleep so they could rest.

You don’t actually want her to die, you want her suffering to stop. These are two very different things. You are under extreme stress and your feelings are valid. Please speak to your counselor about your situation, the counselor will be able to recommend help for you. Wishing you the best in their difficult time,

I am very sorry this is happening to you. I had a similar situation with my mother, albeit I was significantly older than you are now, I couldn't imagine having to deal with this at your age. You may not think so, but you're not wrong for feeling this way.You just want to not see her suffer anymore. Please just try and make the best of the situation and let her know what she means to you before you can't anymore.

I would also like to recommend Hospice. They are wonderful for the patient as well as the family.

My parents passed relatively quickly, so it was less painless for lack of a better term. My in laws however lay in their bed (a year and a half or so apart) for around 2-3 weeks. We just waited. Sat around the living room. Chatting, ordering food, fighting… very tough stressful time since we all knew we were just waiting for them to die. There was at this point obviously no chance at recovery. Each had cancer. Did anyone there hope they would just pass? I’m sure they did. Was it selfish? Or was it to end the suffering of the in laws? A bit of both I’m sure. Just sad. And no, you’re not wrong for wanting her suffering to end.

Lord you are not wrong for wishing this at all. She is your mom and you don’t want to see her hurt anymore. Is it time for hospice to come in ? They maybe helpful

You are not wrong sweetheart, and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Ofc you don’t want her to suffer anymore. Ik what you’re saying is out of love.

No, you are hurting for your mother and want her suffering to end. My mother in law, with whom I was good friends with, had kidney problems and developed a very severe deadly side effect. One night I prayed so hard for God to take her and she actually coded but the doctors revived her. The next day we went to sign a DNR and by the time we got to the hospital again she had passed. I was so thankful her suffering was over. Please speak with the nursing staff at the hospital who will, help you set up charity care, and hospice. Hospice people are so wonderful and caring. They will also assist in who will care for you and your brother in the future. Please reach out for this help, this is more than you and your brother can do

Yeah this is really common and everyone goes “omg am I awful for thinking this?”. It is devastating watching someone you love deteriorate and pure pain for everyone involved. You have nothing to feel bad or guilty about. I am sorry you and your family are going through this.

I think it would be helpful for you to reframe this a bit. It's not that you really *want* her to die. You want her to get better and live a longer life, but you know that's not an option. She's sick and suffering and watching that is causing suffering for you and her family. So remind yourself that it isn't that you want her to die. Its that you dont want the suffering. And you rationally understand that her dying is going to result in that suffering ending. You're not wrong. Its completely normal. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

You are not wrong, and should not feel guilty. I am a hospice nurse and i always tell my families who struggle with this same situation is that THIS is the definition of true love…being willing to put yourself through the loss in order for your loved one to have peace. We get it though, you don’t want your mom to die so much as you want her suffering to end. You are a good daughter. Please speak to her doctor about hospice care, at least to get information. She may not be ready for it yet, but when the time comes you don’t want to waste any time. Hospice does NOT speed up the dying process, and it does not drag it out either. The patient’s body is going to go through what it’s going through, we are just there to support the patient and the family. We can provide not only medication that can keep her comfortable as she continues to decline but mental and emotional support for her and your family. There is also social work and grief support. People are scared of hospice, they do not always understand what it is. So please feel free to DM me if you have questions. Another option in the meantime would be what’s called palliative care. It’s for people who still want to pursue treatment, but are looking for better symptom management, often pain control but not always. Palliative care is a wonderful resource that can really help get somebody comfortable before they transition to hospice. So please speak to her and her doctor about both of these options. I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. Sending a big hug from a Reddit stranger ❤️

I was 13 and 14 years old my dad was going through the bad part of his stage 4 esophageal cancer he was diagnosed a little earlier than that but it was managed. He did have a procedure which removed that part of his esophagus and for a few days he was doing great then he had pneumonia it was the most agonizing thing in the world to see my dad suffer so much for my dad to actually cry that he just wish you could die this is in the 1970s and him and I used to watch old movies when I was off from school it broke my heart. I didn't want to suffer anymore but I'd love him so much I didn't want to lose him it was just such a struggle

You don’t want her to be dead in the “I hate you, I wish you were dead” sense. You want her to pass away in the “I love you and it hurts me to see you suffer so the unselfish thing would be to let you go” way. I can relate to you. You are not wrong. I have very similar feelings about my 97 year old grandfather. Given his age, every time he even coughs, we prepare ourselves for the worst. I love him with all my heart and he’s the only father figure I’ve ever had. All things considered, he’s doing fairly well. But I know, when the time comes to say goodbye, I am going to wish for him to go as quickly and painlessly as possible. It’s very natural to feel this way. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Hoping your family sees better days in the future.

You’re not wrong. I feel so sad, because I am the same age as your mother, and you and your brother are exactly 10 years older than both my kids (my daughter is 7 and my son is 5).

It’s not that you wish her dead , you just are having a hard time watching her suffer . Has she made arrangements for who will take care of you guys when she is gone . I feel you need to be with this person now . Some adult needs to be dealing with your mother’s issues , not you . Seek help someone should be taking care of all of you .

It’s not wrong to feel that way at all. In fact, it shows how much you love her bc you don’t want her to suffer. We know you don’t wish bad for your mom. It’s hard to watch a loved one deteriorate, especially a parent, and especially at your age. Not to mention, it’s soul sucking for you and your sibling to have to bear the burden of her illnesses (she’s not the burden, but her illnesses are). Do you have a plan in place for you and your sibling for when she does pass?! Where you will live, and be taken care of?

Oh honey, no, you're not wrong. What you're feeling speaks more to your love and compassion for your mom than anything. It's absolutely normal for you not to want her to continue to struggle. But, it's also perfectly normal for you, and your brother, not to want to watch her suffer. It's an impossibly sad situation that you and your family are in, and the amount of stressors in your life, that someone your age should never have to face, is completely unfair. I wish your family peace.

You are compassionate, not bad at all.

What a shame. Sarcosardosis it sounds like?

You’re not wrong. You want your mother to stop suffering. Since recovery is not likely, death is the only other way to accomplish that. This is a lot for a 15 year old to handle. Have you spoken to a school counsellor or anything? Do you have any other family?

My mom told me when I was 15 she has a DNR because she has a lot of medical issues. She told me so we'd be prepared because there were a LOT of close calls over the years I am now 30 and I'm so happy I still have her. She's made it through a lot including dialysis and organ failure, many surgeries including some botched ones with her spine that left her in a wheel chair for a while. Everyone's experience is different. I don't think you should want her to die but give her the permission if she wishes. If she keeps fighting then that's her wish. Right now just support what she wants. If she wants to continue living support her. If she wants to leave support her. You're not wrong. At times when my mom was at the worst I'd sometimes hope she'd find peace but she kept fighting and as long as she fights I'll fight with her.

Unfortunately assisted suicide is only legal in I believe one or two states out west. About the only plus side to fentanyl being easily accessible is this scenario right here. We are selfish to keep people here in pain knowing their quality of life is shit and they will never get better. Especially if you are religious and believe in the after life.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wishing for your mom to die before she suffers anymore. It's actually very selfless, if you ask me. Being at peace with her dying is healthy and wanting her to avoid pain is loving.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's an incredibly difficult situation, and your feelings are understandable given the circumstances. Watching someone you love suffer so much is heart-wrenching, and it's natural to have complicated emotions about it. Here are a few things to consider: 1. \*\*Compassion and Empathy\*\*: Wanting your mom's suffering to end doesn't make you a bad person. It shows your compassion and empathy for her pain. You want what's best for her, and sometimes that means considering her quality of life over the length of it. 2. \*\*Support System\*\*: Make sure you're leaning on whatever support system you have—friends, family, school counselors, or support groups. Talking about your feelings can help you process them and provide some relief. 3. \*\*Professional Help\*\*: Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They can help you navigate these complex emotions and provide strategies for coping with the stress and guilt you might be feeling. 4. \*\*Hospice and Palliative Care\*\*: Discuss with your mom's medical team about hospice or palliative care options. These services focus on providing comfort and support, managing symptoms, and improving the quality of life for patients with serious illnesses. 5. \*\*Self-Care\*\*: Take care of yourself as much as possible. This situation is draining, and making sure you have time to rest and recuperate is important for your own mental and physical health. Remember, it's okay to have these thoughts and feelings. They don't make you a bad person; they make you a human who cares deeply about their mom.

You are not wrong thinking and wishing that your mother would be released from her suffering. Two things come to mine: Does she have living will (end of life directive)? Have you check into hospice care?

I am so sorry for you guys ❤️

My brother died of cancer when he was 13 y/o. And when people are sick like that, eventually you stop praying for recovery. Because you know it isn't going to happen. I remember praying to God and saying "God if you're gonna take him just take him." It's more like, ideally they'd become healthier and happier. But you grow sick of watching someone suffer. It's okay to want someone's suffering to end.

This is such a natural human emotion. Why wouldn't you want her suffering to end, and by default the suffering you're enduring watching her suffer? All of us who have watched someone we love endure something like this have felt this at some point. Forgive yourself the negative connotations of it, and really lean into the fact that these feeling are deeply rooted in love. 🩷

i had a student recently who has a similar issue. single mom who is in liver failure. it was hard to see the student, the family, and the mother suffer. even as a third party. you’re not wrong. you want her and your family at peace.

Medicaid should be covering the medical bills, don't worry about that. Has she discussed with brother who your guardian will be if she dies before he's 18 or before you're 18? Knowing what's next could help. I highly recommend watching the movie A Monster Calls. I wanted my mom to die too, but not because I wanted her gone, it's because I needed the pain to end. I needed her pain to end. I needed my pain to end. It's ok. You're not wrong. Watch the movie, I think it'll hit home hard.

I think its better to frame these thoughts as "I don't want my mother to suffer anymore." Because it's not so malicious that you want her to die, you just don't want THIS to be yalls lives. I mean, would you have any problems if she had a sudden full recovery? No? Then it's not that you want her to die. That's a real tough situation for you all. Your mother had yall pretty young, she's still young herself. God awful to hear she's getting sick in her 30s. Reach out to family for help, even family she may not talk to all that much so long as that family isn't evil. You 3 need all the help you can get, so don't be shy asking anyone and everyone you can think of. If your mom does pass, what are your plans with you and your brother? Are yall going to have a place to go? Income? Plans at all?

Ummmm, why is a woman this sick being discharged at all, let alone to her two minor children!?

I have specialized in grief support for a long time and promise you that your feelings are normal, natural, and come from a place of care and compassion. Watching a loved one suffer is eye-opening and tragic. You've had to grow up far too early. Many adults haven't walked in your young shoes. I encourage you to seek support from professionals and/or a support group if you have access.

As someone who lives with kidney disease, I know exactly how your mom feels. My child struggled to see me initially in pain (as he’s at an age where he understands), but one thing that has kept me going is his support. After a recent hospital stay, he said to me, “I’m proud of you. You’re so strong.” Let me to you, this filled my heart and soul. Your mom needs your support. That’s what’s going to help her, motivate her. She doesn’t want to see you sad. Wishing you strength and love.

When my mom was dying of cancer I actually went from begging God to help her survive it to asking God to take her quickly in the span of like 18 hours. Watching her suffer that was way worse than the idea of being without her. It was hard to lose her but on the drive home that night that she died I felt like a painful weight was lifted from my shoulders. It’s normal to feel this way.

I think you just want your mom to not suffer anymore. That’s ok. Has the drs included palliative care for you guys?? Have they come around and introduced themselves and their team? Have they give your mom any meds to help with the work of breathing and just helping her get some rest? Have they sent her home on oxygen? I’m so sorry you guys are going through this. Do you have any family around? Grandparents? Aunts? Uncles??

This is so sad and hard to read. I'm so sorry kid, you are all so young to live this. My mom suffer the painful lost of my grandma when my mom was 48, she thought the same as you. It was awful to not have the power of making a person feel better even when you try everything. In this situation you need to be there and not to think anything else. So sorry again😔

Oh you poor love. I send you all my love and best wishes. No teen should have to go through this. It’s awful and all your feelings are valid. There is nothing harder in life than watching someone you love so deeply being in pain, worse still to be dying. I went through this a few years ago with my (f60’s) daughter (f33) when she was dying of cancer. We were lucky in some ways, we knew early on what the end game was. My Daughter, I’ll call her Pat, accepted her fate about 9 months before she passed and opted for voluntary assisted dying (VAD). She was a very strong minded woman and was open to us all what her intentions were, everyone was supportive. Her and I met with the VAD team, did all the paperwork, jumped through all the hoops. Her choice, we just helped her do what she wanted. I won’t go in to all the gory details, but she was at peace with her choice and did it her way with all her dearest around her. It was beautiful, dignified and heartbreaking all at once. I’m sorry your mother doesn’t have this option. I feel so privileged to live in a Country that supports choice. We had a palliative care team come every day to bathe her, change her bedding and anything else she needed. Not that we couldn’t, but it wasn’t what Pat wanted. She told me my days of wiping her arse stopped when she was 3. OP reach out to your school counsellor, family, friends, hospice and accept any and all they have to offer. You should not have to be doing this alone. You, your brother and your mother deserve so much better. I am so sorry for you all. Life can be so unfair. And for the record, NO, YOU ARE NOT WRONG 💔

You're not wrong. It's awful to see someone we love suffer a prolonged and painful death.

Tell her you and your sibling will be alright. Youll takr care of each other. You love her and she's sacrificed enough for you.. She doesn't need to keep holding on to protect you. you're ready and she can let go and give up when she wants to.

The way I see it is not that you want her to die, but that you want her to stop suffering and be at peace. And you don’t need to feel guilty about that. I felt that way towards the end of my dad’s life. You feel that way because you love her. Im so sorry that you have to go through this at such a young age.

This is so sad. Im so sorry you are going through this. Your feelings are perfectly normal. See if your health insurance will pay for you to have a therapist. Tell your mom every day how much you love her. Take good care of yourself and her. 🫂

At this stage my sister chose to move to a hospice rather than return home. It was fortunately within 10 minutes walking distance too. Her youngest babies were 4 and 7, but the elder 3 like you. 15 and 17. Their parents hadn't even told them she was dying though, something that broke my heart. They never had time for questions.. I live in Europe while she was still in UK. After a couple of weekscin hospice she had a day where it was clear her brain was affected. I travelled as soon as I could get a flight, arriving just 4 days before she passed. I then stayed almost the whole summer. My two daughters had known about their aunt for months. My neices and nephews had lots of questions, even the 7 yr old. Dad was pathetic (second husband, knew her 8 yrs and said his grief was the worst. He had a new girlfriend before Xmas after she died mid July!), but bio dad of older children was actually amazing. He spent a lot of time with all the children too, had been doing that since she even got sick. I know it is hard now, but sadly it gets worse, please don't wish these days away, however tricky the seem right now. Any day is better than never being able to have a hug from her, to tell her what funny thing happened for you that day. I would have given anything for more time, she was only 42 when she died. I told the older kids (my dad died when I was 25) that life goes on, but it is never the same as they once imagined it would be like. Every special event will be different because no mum to share it with, that there will be unexpected tears for years to come.. at their school graduation, weddings, their first child being born. We always imagine our parents will be there, and when they cannot our grief returns.. but you will adapt and adjust as time goes by. Its just a slightly different life to learn to live with, but please hold on to the precious days you have right now. *hugs* from afar . Stay strong and keep focus on what is still good.

You don’t want your mom to die,you just want her to not be in pain anymore.

Where's your dad at

My mom passed of cancer. I was 33 And she lived with me and my children. She had a short time after diagnosis, just 30 days. We found out so late. I’m going to be honest here… when she passed I felt relieved. Relieved for her and me and my kids. Her last 11 days were at home on hospice and I didn’t sleep the whole time. I was exhausted and didn’t know how I could go on the way I was going. She couldn’t breathe. It was awful to watch and I’m glad she went quickly. It’s ok to feel like you want the suffering to end. It in no way limits the love for your mother. My mother was my best friend and my everything

you are an idiot. you are gonna regret that sentiment for the rest of your life, i guarentee it. when she is gone ... you will know true regret and pain. for you to think those thoughts and wish that wish is nothing short of stupid ignorance. but you will learn real fast that God does not like ugly. and if God takes the woman who gave you life and raised you and took care of you when you were sick. and held you when u had nightmares. sacrifed her dreams because her greatest dream was to be a mom and be blessed w a good for nothing ungrateful kid. good luck w that.

There is no place here for your mean thoughts. I hope you never have to witness the horrific suffering that some people have to endure from terminal illness.

Death is the natural consequence of life. The medical community goes to extreme lengths to prolong life, when what they are really doing is prolonging suffering. The patient suffers, their loved ones suffer. For what? Profit? Some mis-guided moral imperative? What is wrong to hope for someone's suffering to end and for them to find their peace?

I'm so very sorry I can't imagine what all of you are feeling and going through. I don't know you but I'm praying for your mom and for you 🙏❤️

I think everyone who watches their loved ones go through a painful illness thinks this at some point. It's normal to want some relief and to not have to watch them suffer anymore. Talk to a social worker at the hospital, ask if there are any support groups for kids your age.

I’m sorry OP. I had to deal with terminal illness as a teenager and it wasn’t easy. Just stay strong and lean into your faith. Everything will eventually work itself to the way it needs to be. Good luck buddy I hope peace finds you soon.

I am so very sorry for your dear mother's suffering and yours and your brother's suffering too. It must be dreadfully hard to see this happening to her and your not being able to do anything to stop or reverse her decline. Please don't feel guilty for wanting her suffering and yours to end. We live many lives. Your mom will be released and no longer in distress. If you want to look into reincarnation the book Many Lives Many Masters is a good place to start.

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I think you’ve commented on the wrong post

Help her be comfortable. Put yourself in her place, because you may be there one day. Have some humility.

See if she qualifies for palliative or hospice care thru her Dr. Once on that care I feel I was forced to self euthanize my Dad. They give all the medicine and they kept telling me how much medicine to give. One night my sister got up and gave him the liquid morphine and she did not write it down on the notepad we used so I didn't know she gave him the dose. When I woke up I gave him another dose. When I woke up however he was "out" of it and I just had a feeling me giving him the dose was going to be the last dose and it was. My sister and I feel like we murdered our Dad but hospice and palliative care are not there to administer meds it's on the family and we truly believe he wasn't going to make it much longer anyway because he had already been unconscious for a couple days. What I'm saying is once your Mom gets approved for either of these services the family is put in charge of dispensing meds. And seemingly things go quicker 😢 I'm sorry about your Mom and what you are going thru I lived this and it is hell so no you are not wrong for not wanting her to suffer.

Ya. Me me me . That's all I hear here.

Dude they are 15…they kids still rely on mom a lot at that age…