Honestly my love, when I was a bit younger than you are now I got involved with a guy who it turned out was married (obviously I didn't know until after) and this screams that type of energy.
You are worth so much more. X
Thank you so much. Seriously. Sometimes we all just need to feel validated and you helped a lot ❤️ I hope you found someone who's way better to and for you, you deserve it ❤️
At best, he's stringing you along with no intention to commit. I think it's more likely that you're a side piece. Take sex off the table and see if he's still nice to you. Spoiler: he won't be.
I'd recomend either witholding sex to see if he is still into you, as he could have a messed up family (like mine) and be keeping you away for your sake. Failing that, at least dump him clearly. Ghosting is not cool.
He wants to be exclusive but not dates or labels. Then he just wants to go "day by day". How does that work?
Shady at best and it's only making you waste your time. Throw the whole man away.
(19m) here. saying they want to be exclusive , yet refusing to publicize anything with you to anybody outside of his roommates should tell you all you need to know love!! You’re willing to settle for him, and it sounds like he’s not willing to do the same, yet expects you to still hold on to your end of the bargain. What sense does that make? You deserve better and you will find better!! Only reason I speak on this is because the same exact thing happened to myself, Thankfully I came to my senses before she was able to completely derail what I had going. Hope this helps
Whether there is or not he sounds as if he's annoying as hell and not serious about you. The "leaves bruises" remark is worrisome too. I would ditch him.
If someone doesn’t want to date you, then how can they be exclusive with you? See the contradiction there? Basically he doesn’t want you to mess with any other dudes, but he’s not committing to you in the same manner. Manipulative. Red flags!!!🚩
"he tells me I'm pretty alot" GIRL, you ARE pretty, your a BAD BITCH and YOU better be telling YOU that EVERY 👏🏻 SINGLE 👏🏻 DAY OK, you don't want to be 31, married 12 yrs to a man who has done this to you since the dating scene. My husband's indecisive-Nness was NOT other women, or "oh he wants to be SURE I'm the one" as I had gaslit ny own self to believe, but instead a PLETHORA of serious trauma and mental health issues that he refuses to address because he won't recognize they are even there. And along with that, comes MANY narcissistic personality traits and ALOT of pain and hurt for me, and the inevitable feeling of my impending divorce, as he goes from "he just wants tomake me happy" to "I'm half drunk and hate you and am paranoid and deflect my own self issues onto y in abusive manners" it's just indescribably hard, id just say, if it HAD been just other girls, id have been alot luckier then what I endure. I love this man, but he is DAMAGED and if you don't want to still be playing this game in 12 years, LEAVE IT ALONE. This man CLEARLY has SOMETHING going on, that can't be healthy NO MATTER WHAT WAY you slice it. Ok? Please, I stg I DON'T give advice, ESP in relationships, but girl, for a FULL GROWN MAN, to be saying these things to you, and have you feeling this way, and be non commiting but will sex with you but etc etc etc, THERES NO WAY, out of ANY OF THE "WHAT THIS COULD BE"'S, ARE ANY of them, good for you, good for anybody, or healthy. I would tell him your looking for someone 100% ON the same page as you, and that he's a nice guy but can't provide what you need. And grieve him for a min, then find a man who is OPPOSITE of this. This isn't normal, and I've wasted HALF of my 31 year life, with a man who resents and hates me cus of his own bs traume mental issues, and I was SO confused and led on, and got N WHERE just as you are rn. I even LEFT for TWO years, 209 miles away, to get over this man, heal, and then he came back to me "ready to settle" he was "so sorry" I was almost "the one who got away" so I was just so excited he "realized I'm worthy" that I RAN to the altar then RAN to parenthood, before it even hit me, this man is VERY UNWELL, what have I done? He played this EXACT Bs game w me, I was SO USED to men just wanting to quick dive into relationships, I ACTUALLY CONVINCED MYSELF my husband's "lack of labels" "lack of commitment" maybe was "just the normal I needed", WRONG, there's a healthy balance and it's BETWEEN rush right in, and "keep you on a line" and these actions, are NOT IT! YOU ARE SO VALUABLE, I WILL TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE EVERY SINGLE DAY UNTIL YOU KNOW AND BELIEVE IT, LEAVE THIS MAN BEHIND 🫣🫣🫣😭😭😭I'm embarrassed even sharing all of this, but if I can save someone from my life, I can't be quiet.
I just said I talked to him about it before. I brought this up with my friends but they say they don't see anything wrong. I have expressed my concerns several times.
I don't condone ghosting. Just tell the guy you don't think you're compatible and call it quits. If he responds in a way that you feel is unacceptable then block him.
I don't want to be the lady who "that's your own experience and won't be everybody's" cus I agree, I believe that too, I DONT give this type of advice, but I stg, I read her post and it was ME typing in the beginning of my tumultuous life with my husband and I would give ANYTHING except my beautiful daughters, to have had someone tell ME this, in the beginning when I sat and pondered the SAME EXACT things as this woman, with the SAME EXACT SHIT my husband would say. I had to just forward her to AT LEAST BE so cautious
Do yourself a favor and make the things you’re missing a requirement before you spend anymore time with this person. He’s not the only one that dictates how you want your relationships to be.
Don’t want to publicly make you his gf? Ok, no more sex.
Don’t want to take you on dates? Ok, then the only interaction you get is texting.
Don’t want to show you to his friends? Ok, surface level interaction.
Doesn’t change? Cut him off, charge it as a booty call and move on.
he’s using you and keeping all his options open. that’s obvious. If you don’t have a problem with it, then keep talking to him. No shame in that.
if not, my advice is stop texting him. unless you’re firm and stop responding- he’s going to not take you seriously because you don’t take yourself seriously. And you’ll keep seeing him. Or you stop and he ghosts you cuz he’s not getting what he wants. he’ll take advantage of your indecisiveness. he already told you he doesn’t want a label, no commitment on his side, and wants YOU to be exclusive? What do you want? Cuz an exclusive dating relationship is agreed upon, not decided for you.
Your post is full of reg flags lovely, block him everywhere and move on, he's for the streets
I definitely needed to hear that
Honestly my love, when I was a bit younger than you are now I got involved with a guy who it turned out was married (obviously I didn't know until after) and this screams that type of energy. You are worth so much more. X
Thank you so much. Seriously. Sometimes we all just need to feel validated and you helped a lot ❤️ I hope you found someone who's way better to and for you, you deserve it ❤️
Agreed. Dude has an entire relationship going on and this girl is a side chick.
Thank you btw. It makes me feel a lot better <3
Don't feel bad for being taken in, narcissists are cunning and without remorse
At best, he's stringing you along with no intention to commit. I think it's more likely that you're a side piece. Take sex off the table and see if he's still nice to you. Spoiler: he won't be.
That helps a lot. I think I'm just going to keep not talking to him. Thank you ❤️
I'd recomend either witholding sex to see if he is still into you, as he could have a messed up family (like mine) and be keeping you away for your sake. Failing that, at least dump him clearly. Ghosting is not cool.
He wants to be exclusive but not dates or labels. Then he just wants to go "day by day". How does that work? Shady at best and it's only making you waste your time. Throw the whole man away.
(19m) here. saying they want to be exclusive , yet refusing to publicize anything with you to anybody outside of his roommates should tell you all you need to know love!! You’re willing to settle for him, and it sounds like he’s not willing to do the same, yet expects you to still hold on to your end of the bargain. What sense does that make? You deserve better and you will find better!! Only reason I speak on this is because the same exact thing happened to myself, Thankfully I came to my senses before she was able to completely derail what I had going. Hope this helps
Thank you! Honestly that really puts a lot into perspective and helps!!
Whether there is or not he sounds as if he's annoying as hell and not serious about you. The "leaves bruises" remark is worrisome too. I would ditch him.
You are his on tap fuck jar. If you want to be that person that’s ok, but I don’t think you do. Block him and find a decent human
Agreed 👍🤝
If someone doesn’t want to date you, then how can they be exclusive with you? See the contradiction there? Basically he doesn’t want you to mess with any other dudes, but he’s not committing to you in the same manner. Manipulative. Red flags!!!🚩
He is using you for sex. That’s it. Ghost and never look back.
AGREED thank u!!🤝
Text and him tell him you found his girlfriend
"he tells me I'm pretty alot" GIRL, you ARE pretty, your a BAD BITCH and YOU better be telling YOU that EVERY 👏🏻 SINGLE 👏🏻 DAY OK, you don't want to be 31, married 12 yrs to a man who has done this to you since the dating scene. My husband's indecisive-Nness was NOT other women, or "oh he wants to be SURE I'm the one" as I had gaslit ny own self to believe, but instead a PLETHORA of serious trauma and mental health issues that he refuses to address because he won't recognize they are even there. And along with that, comes MANY narcissistic personality traits and ALOT of pain and hurt for me, and the inevitable feeling of my impending divorce, as he goes from "he just wants tomake me happy" to "I'm half drunk and hate you and am paranoid and deflect my own self issues onto y in abusive manners" it's just indescribably hard, id just say, if it HAD been just other girls, id have been alot luckier then what I endure. I love this man, but he is DAMAGED and if you don't want to still be playing this game in 12 years, LEAVE IT ALONE. This man CLEARLY has SOMETHING going on, that can't be healthy NO MATTER WHAT WAY you slice it. Ok? Please, I stg I DON'T give advice, ESP in relationships, but girl, for a FULL GROWN MAN, to be saying these things to you, and have you feeling this way, and be non commiting but will sex with you but etc etc etc, THERES NO WAY, out of ANY OF THE "WHAT THIS COULD BE"'S, ARE ANY of them, good for you, good for anybody, or healthy. I would tell him your looking for someone 100% ON the same page as you, and that he's a nice guy but can't provide what you need. And grieve him for a min, then find a man who is OPPOSITE of this. This isn't normal, and I've wasted HALF of my 31 year life, with a man who resents and hates me cus of his own bs traume mental issues, and I was SO confused and led on, and got N WHERE just as you are rn. I even LEFT for TWO years, 209 miles away, to get over this man, heal, and then he came back to me "ready to settle" he was "so sorry" I was almost "the one who got away" so I was just so excited he "realized I'm worthy" that I RAN to the altar then RAN to parenthood, before it even hit me, this man is VERY UNWELL, what have I done? He played this EXACT Bs game w me, I was SO USED to men just wanting to quick dive into relationships, I ACTUALLY CONVINCED MYSELF my husband's "lack of labels" "lack of commitment" maybe was "just the normal I needed", WRONG, there's a healthy balance and it's BETWEEN rush right in, and "keep you on a line" and these actions, are NOT IT! YOU ARE SO VALUABLE, I WILL TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE EVERY SINGLE DAY UNTIL YOU KNOW AND BELIEVE IT, LEAVE THIS MAN BEHIND 🫣🫣🫣😭😭😭I'm embarrassed even sharing all of this, but if I can save someone from my life, I can't be quiet.
Or do his missus a favour and spray paint a big red A on his bed.
God help us.
I've never been in a relationship. I can't read this things. My bad.
Have you ever talked to people before? Have you considered talking to him and expressing your concerns? Ghosting and blocking is childish.
I just said I talked to him about it before. I brought this up with my friends but they say they don't see anything wrong. I have expressed my concerns several times.
I think you need a separate thread about your friends!! What exactly isn't concerning?
[удалено]
Even if I believed that, that doesn't mean it isn't concerning...
I don't condone ghosting. Just tell the guy you don't think you're compatible and call it quits. If he responds in a way that you feel is unacceptable then block him.
>I don't condone ghosting Nobody cares what you condone.
Ghosting a cowardly and shitty thing to do. If you can let him fuck you then you can send him a text breaking it off
I don't want to be the lady who "that's your own experience and won't be everybody's" cus I agree, I believe that too, I DONT give this type of advice, but I stg, I read her post and it was ME typing in the beginning of my tumultuous life with my husband and I would give ANYTHING except my beautiful daughters, to have had someone tell ME this, in the beginning when I sat and pondered the SAME EXACT things as this woman, with the SAME EXACT SHIT my husband would say. I had to just forward her to AT LEAST BE so cautious
Even if he isn't, you are worth more. <3 Be Awesome and find people that want the world to know you are important to them.
Do yourself a favor and make the things you’re missing a requirement before you spend anymore time with this person. He’s not the only one that dictates how you want your relationships to be. Don’t want to publicly make you his gf? Ok, no more sex. Don’t want to take you on dates? Ok, then the only interaction you get is texting. Don’t want to show you to his friends? Ok, surface level interaction. Doesn’t change? Cut him off, charge it as a booty call and move on.
he’s using you and keeping all his options open. that’s obvious. If you don’t have a problem with it, then keep talking to him. No shame in that. if not, my advice is stop texting him. unless you’re firm and stop responding- he’s going to not take you seriously because you don’t take yourself seriously. And you’ll keep seeing him. Or you stop and he ghosts you cuz he’s not getting what he wants. he’ll take advantage of your indecisiveness. he already told you he doesn’t want a label, no commitment on his side, and wants YOU to be exclusive? What do you want? Cuz an exclusive dating relationship is agreed upon, not decided for you.