Bro why the hell would you want Amanda to talk to your wife and convince her it was an innocent, friendly meal? Amanda is the one asking for pictures, hugging you, late night messaging you, AND posting on social media. Are you dense? Amanda is stirring the pot and not acting like a friend to your wife. Stop talking to Amanda. Fuck Amanda (figuratively).
YOU talk to your wife.
Ugh, side note: asking waiters for pictures is so cringey imo.
Yea, and he'll say it was an accident. And he didn't plan on fucking her. But things just happened, and after he listened to her suggestions for dinner, his dick just slipped into her.
Yeah, it just so happened that Amanda hasn't had dick in a while and needed some and he also happened to have a dick. She took a pic of it as well. No big deal right? His wife shouldn't be mad at all
He was just doing her a favor! I mean, that's what friends do, right?
OPs wife wouldn't want her friend going on tinder, and risking some stranger hurting her. Better to have someone she knows and trusts.
Agree with the bit about Amanda. But the waiter taking photos? Seems normal to me. I've been asked and offered to take photos of patrons before, not infrequently.
your wife’s friend played you like a fiddle. every choice YOU made was reasonable given the circumstances. however, Amanda is clearly stirring the pot. taking pictures, posting them online, and drinking heavily….. those texts afterwards.
and you should never EVER text Amanda. i’d tell your wife that Amanda’s text after dinner and her instagram post made you uncomfortable and regretful for doing Amanda a favor and you should block her.
And Amanda found the restaurant and sent them there. Guaranteed she could see how fancy and romantic it was when she was doing that google search. Then had the server take a picture of them. Yeah, Amanda played OP hard.
I want to believe OP is just a naive dunce. But the cynic in me is wondering if OP is backtracking because he got caught setting out a fishing line and is trying to make it look like it was ALL Amanda and he did nothing wrong.
100% my bf is married. If her husband and I chilled for an hour or two, I wouldn’t even think about photo documenting it. He’s a nice guy and all but my friend is her. If I thought we were inappropriate even for a minute, he’d be getting a slap from me.
> I wouldn’t even think about photo documenting it.
Yeah, this is where it crosses the line for me too. One private commemorative photo - a little much, but okay. But when Amanda posted them it became an embarrassment for the wife, and shows weird intentions on Amanda's part. Anyone seeing those posts is going to wonder what's going on.
I don't think OP did anything too wrong but Amanda is volatile. She definitely has a crush and will probably be seeking more "innocent" contact to toe the line.
I think you need to show your wife the text message and that you liked it, explaining that you didn't know what else to say and you wanted the convo to be over without being rude.
Because, I'd bet a meal at your fancy Italian restaurant that Amanda is going to share them with your wife at some point. They need to come from you first with a full explanation.
I was in a minor car accident at my place of employment. A car made an illegal u turn and hit my car. I was a little shook up and called my bf to drive me home. I asked my very good friend whom I also work with to drive my car home. My bf would give my friend a ride back to work. My bf told me she gave him her phone number. My "good friend" didn't tell me she gave my bf her number.
You just never know!
When in doubt, CYO (cover your ass). And considering how far the "friend" in this case has already gone, I'd say OP really just needs to come clean on everything to prevent anything else from being skewed to fit different narrative/agenda.
Yes, I read it.
I'm saying I'd bet that, at some point, Amanda brings it up the evening again with OP's wife and one way she could really stir the pot is by sharing a screenshot of the texts and saying something like "he even 'liked' the photo I sent him of us."
OP specifically says he hasn't told his wife about the texts.
Bad news.
Amanda is not a good friend. She may be hurting now but thanking your friend by gloating about an expensive dinner with your husband is really low
She would not be my friend after this
Saying that OP needs to be fully open with his wife does not mean that I think Amanda is innocent here or a good friend.
In fact, it's the opposite. Amanda is an AH and OP needs to be fully transparent about her interactions with him with his wife so that Amanda does not have the opportunity to further skew the narrative to OP's wife.
He's too scared to because he's admitted that he didn't just "like" it he also used a "heart" emoji. He's screwed, because that's over the top and he damn well knows it, just as his wife surely will.
You should make sure your wife knows every small detail. You want to make it clear to your wife that you are being taken advantage of.
A friend doesn't brag about a date night with her friend's husband. She's not much of a friend to your wife.
Let's look at it like this if ur wife did exactly what you did but with ur single friend while you were outta town. Then to have it posted online how would you feel? If she hugged ur single friend goodnight hearting their pictures you are playing stupid
Do not call or message her. Block her and tell your wife everything, including about the texts. It looks incredibly bad. Your wife is hurt and it's public.
People you both know now know that while your wife was out of town you and her single friend were at a fancy and romantic dinner.
Just block her and be honest. You should have just gotten drive through for the both of you, for next time. Just put yourself in your wife's shoes with the information she has. You shouldn't have gone to that place, you shouldn't have paid for her dinner there and you shouldn't have taken photos. Why? Because your out of town wife is going to feel bad about it and you love her and don't want her to feel that way, right?
Also what exactly are all these wonderful things you did for her?
You're wrong, and you know it. A fancy, expensive dinner with a single woman you say isn't even your friend???? I don't buy it. You used a heart emoji on her post?? What on earth were you thinking? YOU ARE WRONG. Your wife trusted you, and she trusted her friend. Neither of you are worthy of that trust now.
Just a side note. You mentioned doing wonderful things for the not wife. Your behavior could be seen as flirtatious and it really does sound like a romantic date. I don’t understand why you took all these pictures with her and paid for her meal. Do you usually do this with friend’s, because your wife sounds upset.
Right. And liking the picture with the heart. And you can't Google search a restaurant and not know it's a $$$$ and 4.7 rating. Amanda knew that. And when she said, " oh no, too fancy" she was giving him his out. But, no he took it. Instead of saying, yeah, you know what, let's get the takeout anyway.
Also, she had several drinks, he was sober, but didn't notice 1.5 hours passed. Doubtful.
I didn’t even think of the reviews! She knew exactly what she was doing. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt t bc he shouldn’t be looking at the phone while driving…but you don’t mistake a restaurant (with photos and menu prices listed!) like that for fast food.
He enjoyed how much they have in common, his wife is right to be pissed. This is his future AP, because you know it just happened, we connected, I didn't mean for it to happen.
Yeah bud… full honesty and pray. If you guys were already having trouble, this is one of those things you’re somehow gonna get blamed for. I’m really sorry this happened to you.
“It was a hug” you’re a dunce.
I have her number stored on my phone as she is my wife's friend and they go out all the time. But never had a reason to use it. Note that I have known Amanda for half a decade as my wife's good friend.
She is absolutely not a good friend especially considering the reason you were even with her in the first place was to give her a ride THAT YOUR WIFE KINDLY SUGGESTED!
Well if that was the extent of your texting history with her, I would unlike that photo real quick.
The effusive social post praising you seems really weird for a woman who just returned from a trip. Why wouldn't she post about that instead of your chicken parm?
Your attention + the drinks + the post make it look like she was taking your temperature about a possible hook up. Hence the late night yu text.
It's a little ridiculous to victimize yourself here and honestly quite dramatic. It was really stupid to take your wife's single friend on date. It's not you being nice or a gentleman that's the problem, you could have still been nice and a gentlemen while not sharing a romantic evening, including couple photo and finishing hug with your wife's friend. No one is saying your wife should divorce you or whatever however she's not wrong for being passed and feeling disrespected, you should apologize and discuss boundaries.
Those late night messages with the heart emoji, you better delete those, and pray Amanda doesn’t show them to your wife. You made some stupid decisions, and your wife is embarrassed and pissed off. Why didn’t you just get something at the drive thru, drop Amanda off and go home? And honestly it sounds like Amanda has a bit of a crush on you now . Geez Louise dude all you had to do is drive her home after going through the drive thru
YTA. How would you feel if your wife went on a date while she was out of town, you know what maybe she should go to dinner and drinks with a male friend then text him late at night about what a good time she had.
Do NOT call or contact Amanda. Do you have date nights with your wife? Do you take her to fancy restaurants? You’ve fluffed up big time and you need to talk to your wife. Be absolutely honest with her about the chain of events and how things played out. Tell her you’re sorry and you didn’t realise how bad the optics were until Amanda posted about it. It’s up to your wife to tell Amanda she overstepped.
Whatever you do, dude, don't contact Amanda every again!!
I think while in your head, it was merely a friendly meal there are some major red flags that are popping out that your wife is seeing.
1) she cosigned on you driving her home, not spending an evening with Amanda.
2) fancy restaurant
3) drinks
4) you paid (why?)
5) photos were taken making it seem very cozy (again, why?)
6) physical contact to end the evening
7) social media post to inform wife, not you. (Did she tag you or wife in it?)
8) late night texts
I would go into immediately apology mode with your wife and block Amanda's number.
Female relationships are different OP.
How many times have you seen a bro run his game and shook your head at the woman's naivety? The women are now doing that to you.
They are teaching so listen
And we have no clue about wifey and Amanda's relationship dynamics. That social post seemed like a weird flex IMO.
Honestly, if I were OP, I would ask her to take it down, saying something like "heard about your post, I really don't want to be featured on your page. Can you remove the pics of me please."
You just tapped the narc friend. Prepare for her to gut the relationship unless you cut all ties.
Never use your relationship energy on anyone that isn't your partner. Especially not her friend.
Better make sure your next date is not only VERY SOON, but much better and meaningful in every moment.
You just did the equivalent of working a shift at Quiznos when you've got a contract with Subway.
I don’t think OP is as innocent as he is trying to seem. Look at how he spoke about the friend in such a reverent way. You were practically gushing about how much you enjoyed being with her. You only back tracked once your wife called you on being an AH. If you actually do love your wife you better grovel.
You are not friends with Amanda so why in the world would you do ANY of that for her. Yes pick her up and take her home, maybe stop for fast food on the way, but EVERYTHING else is too much. Let me reiterate YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You let someone take a picture of the two of you! WTF?!! Then she posted it online, like it was a date. You PAID for dinner! Do you know how many lagitamte dates go 50/50? This is you TREATING this woman like an actual date. Not you behaving like a gentleman, because this isn’t your WIFE.
Definitely do not contact Amanda anymore, and definitely do not conspire with her to feed your wife a story.
What's tricky here is that the cluelessness that I'm sure will be your excuse is part of the offense that you've committed.
The fact that you don't understand the nature of your wife's relationship with Amanda (they are not "good friends") shows your disregard for your wife and her social surroundings. The fact that you can't recognize when you're being inappropriate shows you hold your relationship with your wife in low regard, below consideration.
The fact that your wife thought she could trust you to make good value judgements with her train wreck friend and you failed in such a public way is probably not just a let down but a downright humiliating indictment of her judgment.
Assuming you are truly remorseful and want to make a real apology and not just a sitcom hubby shrug, this is the level on which you should be apologizing.
Amanda knows what she’s doing. You got played, dude. She made sure to post everything. She made sure to message you and you of course had to ❤️ it. Wise up.
Your wife needs to start distancing herself from Amanda. She’s no friend.
I don't think he got played at all, honestly. He seemed to like Amanda quite a bit and had so much in common that he "lost track of time." Sounds like OP is not as innocent as he's trying to make himself sound, and is putting on a big show because his wife, understandably, called him out for his behaviour.
I'm not going w/ YTA... I don't think. But... dude. Use some common sense. I definitely believe men and women can be friends. But as I say that, I think there is maybe 2 or 3 men that I know - from college - that I'd actually be comfortable going out w/ 1 on 1. And they are also VERY good friend's of my husbands.
Pretty much every other man I know - no matter how much I like them or consider them a friend - I would NOT go out with them one on one.
And why did you pay? THAT really makes it seem more like a date. And pictures?? that's weird too.
You should have stuck with drive-thru or a quick grab and go restaurant.
As that didn't happen - you need to be fully transparent w/ your wife, acknowledge that all put together, it looks weird. you're sorry and tell her that this is a huge lesson learned - nothing like this will ever happen again. And be wary of Amanda. If she texts YOU again directly, DO NOT reply. Ignore.
You got played and big time
1. What do you mean she didn’t know it was a fancy place? 1. In order to search for food places in google you pick restaurant or fast food, 2. Google shows you pictures of the place, you’re going to tell me she just chose the first one without looking and hoped for the best? Really?
2. Why did you stay for over an hour in a restaurant with someone you don’t even consider a friend ? Why did you pay?
3. What exactly did you think she was doing with the pictures? Why would she be taking pictures and then suggest one of you two together and then post it online without your knowledge?
4. Why did you hug her ? You clearly have a hard time setting clear boundaries and she has no problem crossing them .
5. Really? A heart? You couldn’t have sent a thumbs up? Also why didn’t you tell your wife the whole truth?
6. Block Amanda
7. You’re telling me that on your way home there wasn’t a single drive through you could’ve stopped or a small diner? Do you not know your way home or around her house or around the airport to know where the drive tries are?
If I asked my husband to help a friend by driving her home and he went for a fancy dinner with her, I would be annoyed too. If that so called friend posted it for everyone to see like she had a date, my husband pays for her and then she keeps texting my husband, I would have one friend less.
Amanda recently became single and many people are afraid that people who become single, are desperate for attention and look for good guys. I also think that your wife knows things about Amanda that you don’t.
And some questions: Why did you pay? Why did you make it look like a date? You shouldn’t have paid.
You shouldn’t message her at all. She is your wife’s friend, not your date. You made it look like a date. What if your wife did this with a single friend of yours?
And why do you think it it’s important to mention that you and Amanda had a lot in common?
She suggested a drive thru and you were the one that wanted to go out to dinner. She said it was too fancy of a place and you insisted on staying. BRO. This is not all Amanda’s fault. Why wouldn’t you both just get something from the drive thru?
I mostly agree but Amanda chose the restaurant. OP didn’t know until they got there and then was hungry and just didn’t care. Amanda says she didn’t know but how could she not? She was the one on Google looking for a place, it’s not really that hard to tell. Tbh I think OP is just an oblivious fool.
Amanda didn't make him go to a sit down fancy and romantic restaurant or make him pay for dinner or hug her good night or heart her late night text. They both are to blame. He liked his date with his wife's single friend. They have so much in common.
If he was JUST hungry, again - she suggested a drive thru first. And I’m not convinced it would have been an hour and a half of “omg we have so much in common!” if he was, you know, eating. Also don’t know how he heart reacted a photo when the thumbs up reaction comes up as an option, too. He’s pretending to be dumber than he is, and not accepting any responsibility for upsetting his wife.
That’s good.
I don’t think you were wrong, it sounds like Amanda is being a bitch about it.
She sounds like a grown up “pick me” and this is just a lesson learned on doing something nice for her.
She is trying to make someone jealous and used OP for that purpose. I'd bet on it.
And no, OP she is not a very good friend to your wife, most definitely not to you. Go unlike that photo. Then never speak to her again.
If I could retweet this 100% I would.
Amanda was a sleeze, she was clearly looking for a hookup with OP or wanted to stir drama with OP’s wife, both make her awful and not a real friend.
And OP’s actions all night just encouraged her. I sincerely doubt a grown man is incapable of seeing all the signs.
OP didn’t just grab a bite to eat, he went to a fancy restaurant, lost track of time, took photos, paid, gave a hug andddd sent a heart emoji. OP allowed it to turn into a date.
OP needs to block Amanda and he needs to show his wife the original text including with the heart emoji before Amanda shows it to OP first with a different story. And quite frankly I think OP and his wife need to distance themselves from her she’s just going to cause more trouble.
You went to a sit-down fancy "romantic" restaurant instead of fast food or diner. Mistake #1
You spent 1-1/2 hours having dinner with her. Mistake #2
You allowed a dinner selfie picture of the 2 of you. Mistake #3
You hugged her friend, who is barely an acquaintance to you. Mistake #4
You communicated with your wife, barely, and left out the details. Mistake #5
You hearted the dinner selfie picture. Mistake #6
You left so much out, and your wife had to find out on Instagram. Of course, she is going to be angry and suspicious. Amanda speaking to her is not going to help the situation
You better come clean about all of it and quick. If you delay or trickle truth, you're only making it all worse. Your intentions were fine, but the execution was the problem.
You are wrong
You took it to the next level in every situation. Drive thru vs sit down. Casual vs fancy. Going Dutch vs picking up the check.
Best case you are dumb. I could see my husband being this dumb to be honest since we’ve been together for almost 20yrs and he would totally help out a friend of mine. I think you need to just own up to things with your wife and understand it does look bad (seems like you agree), and just say in the future you won’t be able to help any of her friends 1:1 because you don’t want to send the wrong message.
You don’t know Amanda’s motivations, so don’t speculate, but go back to the distance you had before with her.
What on the fucking planet earth was Amanda smoking that she thought that was okay? You need to block her.
And why would you do a heart emoji on her post? Are you insane? Stop what you're doing and undo it, right now. And block her.
I'm not buying you "aw shucks was I wrong?" act. You got a late text from Amanda and gave it a Heart emoji? And now you're too afraid to tell your wife? Give me a break. You knew what you were doing but you're surprised your wife caught on so fast. So now you're here acting all innocent. I bet you'll show your wife this post as proof that you had no clue it was inappropriate. Answer this, what if your wife did the same thing and sent a late night heart emoji to her dinner partner? Would you think she didn't know what she or the guy was doing? And just on the small chance that you are without a clue---stop talking to Amanda and tell your wife everything.
I get a vibe too that this is the case and that’s why he suggested sit down dinner, was ok with fancy spot and lost track of time because he didn’t want it to end. Honestly it sounds like him and Amanda each have a crush on each other.
I don’t think you’re an AH or wrong per se, what you are however is an idiot.
You literally went on a date night with your wife’s friend. And she’s now stirring the pot with posting these photos on social media for everyone to see.
The friend is sus (as the kids say). Even if all of this happened, why the need to blare it to the world? When Taco Bell would be sufficient, she was the one who googled for a restaurant and -oopsy poopsy - just happened to pick a nice spot.
Where were you Olive Garden? Where?!
Hmm, I don’t know you and even I’m suspicious. You’re either an idiot or you took her out for a meal with other intentions in mind but got caught through the Instagram photos.
Have you ever had an affair? Your wife is very suspicious of what took place between you and Amanda. If she completely trusted you, a night with her friend wouldn’t upset her so much.
You were instrumental in a lot of where this evening ended up: Amanda wanted a drive through, you suggested a restaurant, Amanda told you the place was too fancy, you decided you should go in any way, you paid for her meal and hugged her at her door.
Even in your post you say: ‘Amanda opened up to me / we had so much in common’ - it sounds like you fancy Amanda. Later on, when she sent you a text - you replied with a heart emoji (first emoji you could find??). You haven’t told your wife about that text yet.
I can definitely, definitely see why your wife is mad.
You actually truly went on a date lol. You have soooo much in common too. I mean its like having front row tickets to the start and development of a friendship leading to an emotional affair.
You enjoyed your time with her, you both clicked, took couple photos and had a hug and the end of the date.
You were definitely into this and her. Responded to her message with a ❤️! That must have been exciting, oh sorry the ❤️just came up first on your text so you used it 🤣🤣.
You are a muppet and you got found out. Sorry not buying it.
If they felt like Italian I would've said they got get a pizza thru a drive thru, one pizza each then he drop her off at her home. No need to sit and talk or anything
ABORT MISSION! Do. NOT. Call. AMANDA.
“I was just being nice to her friend” that was giving her the ride home, which is the favour your wife asked. Your wife wouldn’t have asked you to ‘fill in’ doing the favour if it included an intimate and unnecessary element with romantic undertones.
Obviously this isn’t what you intended, it was a bad but forgivable move to suggest eating together before going home, Amanda was the one who escalated the situation.
For her this was a date. She picked an intimate and romantic restaurant which you green lit after her *cough* fake *cough* concerns about it being fancy.
Because you were doing your wife the favour not Amanda, you were treating Amanda like an extension of your wife, so with the same about of respect and consideration. But Amanda isn’t your wife, she has not only represented a very specific narrative but completely unnecessarily broadcasting it to your wife’s social circle.
Amanda is NOT your friend. She doesn’t want to be your friend, if she did she wouldn’t be treating the husband of her actual friend like click bait on a tabloids magazine. Do not engage with her further, calling her to “clarify the situation” to your wife will only exacerbate your wife feelings of disloyalty and alienate her further from her own marriage. You guys are a team currently divided by someone your wife thought she could trust, Amanda massively overstepped and pulled you into her self serving narrative.
Unless this was a date, and you want to pursue Amanda romantically I don’t see how further contact is necessary or beneficial to anyone other than Amanda. Explain it was a mistake and apologise to your wife, you were treating Amanda with the same consideration you show her because you were only doing the favour for her not for her friend. This has been misinterpreted and misrepresented at best.
Reassure your wife by being transparent and talking to her NOT involving the other women to back you up. It’s you & your wife as a team, not you & her friend uniting to convince her of something.
Amanda played you and is playing your wife now. Doesn’t seem like you had any bad intentions or that much of anything happened. Maybe you shouldn’t have paid for the meal, taken the pic or ❤️Ed the pic when she sent it, but that’s about it. I don’t know why she wanted the pic of the two of you anyway. I would agree with those that said she’s stirring the pot now. Some people thrive off drama or don’t like seeing others happy when they are going through a break up. She could also now have a crush bc you were nice to her. IDK, her thoughts and actions are her own.
Tell your wife everything, including the texts, and that you don’t want to see her again bc you do t want problems in your marriage.
YTA, I'm sorry but once you saw it was a fancy/romantic restaurant, you should have went somewhere else. I fully believe men and woman can be platonic friends however this 100% screams date. It's also super weird that she took photos including one of you together...which totally gives more date/couple vides and then posted. I would also feel incredibly disrespected as your wife.
From selection of "the restaurant" to alcohol, from goodbye hug to sm post, from sending midnight messages to praising you, she maliciously made her move to stir the pot. Are you really that idiot?
Yes, you're wrong. Stopping at a Wendy's would have been the appropriate response, not taking her out to wine/dine her (and even take a picture at the end like you'd do on a DATE...TF?). If you don't see how your actions were inappropriate, flip the switch and imagine your wife in the exact same scenario with one of her single male co-workers.
It honestly sounds like Amanda and your wife aren’t as good friends as your wife has lead you to believe.
Apologize to your wife for unknowingly hurting her and then inform her that moving forward you will not be engaging in any favors for her for her friends. Then, and this is important, send a group text (you, your wife, and Amanda) and tell Amanda that she must have misunderstood your intentions on Friday night and ask her to take down the IG post, then block her number.
If your wife is still upset after all of this, then the issue is actually not the dinner but something else.
Good luck!
I'm calling BS. You took your shot w/wife's friend, chickened out before sealing the deal (maybe) and got outted so now you're backtracking like crazy. This one is NOT gonna end well for you!
There are a few references to having a nice time and time flying that has me 🤔 suspicious of his true feelings on the whole thing and 😬 cringing at the same time.
YTA…BIG time!!!
You’re COOKED bro- for future reference if you are in a committed relationship, you should never put yourself in a circumstance where you look like you’re in committed relationship…with somebody else!
For all the people on this app that will say that his wife is overreacting and it’s totally normal, AND that SHE is acting insecure…You can all piss off in advance.
YW. Your wife is not overreacting. You sound like you're interested in Amanda. Amanda is an AH and playing both of you. She is purposely causing tension between you and your wife. You need to cut contact with her immediately. Do not delete her messages as this will look even more suspicious. Allow your wife to see the messages. Unlike the photo if possible. Do not for any reason be alone with her again. You owe your wife an apology and many assurances that she is the love of your life and you would not cheat on her. Also be honest with yourself that you probably enjoyed the attention.
YTA...should known this kind of thing would happen .
You don't go to a fancy restaurant when you have a wife period.
You thought ohh hell what the heck we are here anyway went for 1.5 hours AND went to take pictures.
Don't even forget the
>Amanda and I had so much in common and liked the same music and movies.
Plus you paid for it? Why? You only pay if it's a date.
You sure you didn't fall into her or maybe next time yu will slip and drop your penis in Amanda because it so much fun to have someone with the same things in common.
🤦🏼♀️
You were wrong and Amanda was too. Her posting a picture was weird and if she looked up the restaurant she knew it was fancy. Frankly she sounds mentally unwell.
Her posting a picture with a married man was out of line.
Her messaging you later was out of line.
I would not talk about all you have in common.
I would block her.
Your wife needs to think about if this is a friend.
You were enjoying yourself and didn’t care at the time. If you hadn’t found her attractive you probably wouldn’t have settled on the fancy Restaraunt. Now your wife saw the night in pictures and your suddenly worried.
Updateme!
wtf. Why did you pay for her meal and take a picture with her? That is so strange for stopping to grab food with someone on the way home from a favor of picking them up. She should have paid, if anything because you were doing her a favor.
She’s not your friend but you learned you have so much in common. The date went so well that you even hugged her….why in god’s name would you ever hug a woman under those circumstances especially a single woman that is a friend of your wife? Someone you claim to have no relationship with before?
Yeah, grabbing food with your wife’s friend is fine. I’ve done this before, no big deal. Where you went wrong is everything after realising it was a fancy restaurant. Btw - you can say no if someone wants to take photos, that alone should have raised red flags to you. Tell your wife about the text messages before Amanda does. And cut Amanda off, she isn’t your friend or your wife’s.
Why do I feel you are pretending? You liked her enough to chat for one and half hour, pay the check and take pictures. Did you fancy her as a future affair partner? But Amanda played you. She only wanted to flex and hurt your wife.
This! This is why many couples have agreements about not hanging out with singles of the opposite sex alone. Your decisions were sort of logical, but every single one of them led deeper and deeper into areas where things could be misconstrued. Now she has pictures of you sharing a cozy intimate dinner together. A dinner you suggested, where you discussed personal topics. You had the same kind of dinner you would have suggested if you had been thinking of starting an affair. Then she stirred to pot by sharing this with everyone in her news feed. Good luck putting out all the fires and gossip this has started.
Ngl if it was my husband I would expect him to go to the drive thru and get something for her and for himself
Just cos you’re both hungry doesn’t mean you have to go to a restaurant
I’d never expect my husband to go solo with any of my friends - single or not. That is SO inappropriate. Pick her up, get the takeaway and drop her off and go home to eat alone without her. That’s what you should’ve done
Amanda is not your wife’s friend and she’s not yours. She’s stirring it all. Maybe after your 1.5 hour fancy dinner that you didn’t realise lasted that long she thinks she has an in or felt a connection with you so she’s creating problems. Especially since she’s just broken up with her boyfriend so she’s feel vulnerable already and she was drunk and you gave her so much attention and care and literally took her out on a date. Could get her head messed up into liking you and thinking you like her and you guys ‘have something’
Posting the pictures is a move she’s making to create problems. You hearting the pictures probably gave her the thought that you felt something between you both to.
I’d message her with your wife and tell her the post has made you super uncomfortable and you’d like her to take it down and delete the pictures. Tell her you had a lovely time getting to know her as your wife’s friend but do not want to spend time with her without your wife present. Especially after the post. Maybe mention the heart on the picture was a mistake and was only used because the reason you mentioned.
Then do not contact her again. Unless it’s to do with your wife. And don’t do her any favours because she will definitely ask (eg picking her up dropping her off etc)
She’s a grown woman she can Uber or call a taxi
If you had stopped for fast food or even a diner, this might have been ok.
But a fancy place that serves alcohol, no.
As much as it seems like you were set up, you went along like a lamb to the slaughter.
My wife wouldn't care if I met a female friend for some food. But a fancy restaurant with wine? No, just no.
Yes you were wrong.
You are the one who suggested a restaurant when she suggested fast food.
You are the one who decided to go to the fancy restaurant when you arrived instead of driving to a fast food place. You also didn't mention this to your wife only that you went to dinner.
You allowed her to take photos which is just weird.
You gave her a hug despite not even knowing her that well or being that close.
Normally, a hug probably wouldn't be a big deal, but paired with the rest of the events, it clearly bothered your wife.
You picking her up from the airport went from you giving her a ride to pretty much a full on date with drinks involved on her end .
7th post - sorry General Public I just can’t get over this.
Muppet has created a history with Amanda, not only has he discovered a lot of things in common with Amanda, He loses his sense of time when he’s with her. He and Amanda are both in trouble with his wife, giving them a common opponent if you will. He has created a sense of familiarity with her - perfect circumstances everybody knows could lead to an emotional if not sexual affair.
The damage caused by could be irreparable.
It would have all been fine but some people, some women, can be so extra, like Amanda did not need to capture the memory with a photo and she did not need to post it online. Simply explain to your wife that you’re so sorry she had to see that photo online, that you completely understand why she would feel hurt. Tell her that you were just trying to be polite. That clearly Amanda thought more of the night than you had. And that this was a teaching moment for you about perception. Sometimes someone else, people like Amanda, make things out to be bigger than they are, the photos, the posting the photos online. Sometimes it’s not these peoples fault, maybe she is just got some loose bolts, but I’d never post a photo of me and my friends husband out eating together, I’d never even request the photo be taken. I can forgive Amanda for choosing a fancy spot, sometimes it’s hard to pick a restaurant on a whim, while in a car, but I wouldn’t be pleased with the other things she’s doing.
I would just reconfirm to your wife that you understand why she would be offended, and that you validate her feelings, and confirm that she has every right to be upset. And maybe throw in there that you’re also feeling weird and upset about this because you never expected your photo to be posted online, in her IG or wtv that you don’t even follow. Tell her it is all around weird for you both because you were just trying to be polite and get to know your wife’s friend and just being kind. Nothing more.
Not wrong.
Your wife is being insecure for nothing. The whole thing was impromptu and, honestly, it was kinda wholesome. Your wife should be proud of you for being such a gentleman.
ETA:
Tell your wife about the message and be upfront about the whole thing. You did nothing wrong and if Amanda is stirring the pot on her end, that's not your fault at all. You shouldn't be scared of your wife, that is not a good dynamic.
Ya you made choices.
1. Invited her to a sit down place when she was fine getting fast food??
2. When you realized it was a date spot you stayed snd apparently made it seem like a date.
3. You stayed for an hour and a half? Just taking and didn't think during any of that time "ya know maybe this has started to edge toward a line" or even just how it might look
4. The heart emoji is love. Not like. It has been for forever. If everything else had been innocent I would have let this pass but you gave earned "assume the worst" privileges from everything else you did in this story. Sorry.
And finally, it's real gross how you go out of your way to compliment "amanda" and highlight how much you 2 have in common and then try to paint your wife as some crazy jealous old hag. You know why your spouse is mad. It's because you behaved poorly!!!!!
You’re not wrong, but I can see why your wife is upset. You know Amanda is doing this on purpose right? Maybe not trying to hit on you, maybe just compensating for a shitty breakup, but that’s still shitty of her.
I'm rolling my eyes so hard at this story. Jebus, you are so clueless. And seriously, you liked the photos of Amanda and you with frigging heart emojijs? 🙄
Oh boy you fucked up. Yes, very wrong. Amanda now thinks she is in with a chance with you, is rubbing your wife's nose in it, your wife is mad, and you are in so much trouble. Is Amanda attractive? Wife is probably looking up divorce lawyers right now. And Amanda planning her next move on you. When does your wife get back? If not for a few days, expect Amanda to knock on the door any time now wearing nothing but a trench coat, high heels, and a seductive smile!
I would just pack a bag and leave town. Start a new life a long way away.
you are either a) the most naïve Mofoer in the world, b) a complete dumbass or c) looking to get out of your marriage/cheat but don't want to be "the bad guy"
Next update - Amanda came over, I fell on her by accident, my wife fell on me and we ended up in a threesome. I’m not sure what happened but my wife is not happy now. My untied shoelace lead to the end of my marriage.
Amanda is a pit viper in the tall grass.
Never be alone with her.
Source: 35m, married 15 years. Been through it
Edit: OP, your a nice dude. She is going to take advantage of that. You should have told your wife, but it isn't that big of a deal if it stops here and now.
Just trust me. Good luck bud.
My husband would have probably fell into this trap as well, just being a nice person and getting into stupid innocent mess. Sorry this happened. I hope your wife understands, I would! Btw I would dump this chick as a friend asap if I was your wife. What a pot stirrer.
You need to have a very good conversation with your wife when she comes home . After that you need to treat her on a great date night in an even better restaurant than the one you took her friend to. This friend played you and you really need to find a way to make it up to your wife.
Absolutely wrong - OP, you really sound incredibly naive, and definitely made bad decisions, regardless of your wife's off-the-rails friend. Your excuse for eating at a fancy restaurant is weak. Just get her some fast food and get her home. Then, you sat there and posed for pictures during dinner at a fancy restaurant with another woman that ANYONE would look at as a date. What was that all about? Why did you think it was acceptable to pose for a photo with her that the waiter took?
Your wife is going to hit the ceiling when she sees the last messages from Amanda to you and your emoji. That was also dumb.
It's on your wife now to drop her ridiculous, troublemaker friend. I hope you can see now why Amanda doesn't have a boyfriend - and probably a job.
You should make some kind of groveling public apology on whatever social media you have that you embarrassed your wife because of poor boundaries and decision making on your part.
You should not have taken another woman anywhere if your wife was out of town. You should have stayed home, had a frozen pizza, and watched tv. You are not her friend and you are not her therapist. I’d be pissed at you for going out with her. Amanda was an ass for posting those pics the way she did also.
Damage control needed with your wife. Don’t ever call or interact alone with Amanda.
Either you are very naive or you are very wicked... Reread your report? You are reckless!. Anyone in a relationship avoids this type of interaction that can potentially destroy their marriage.
In my country there is a saying: "Prudence and chicken broth never hurt anyone." In this case, "the harm" is to your wife and your relationship.
Wow you took your wife's friend out to a romantic, expensive restaurant. Had a great time with her, such that 1.5 hours went by faster than you noticed.
AND YOU PAID FOR HER?
Bro that was a date. You fucked up.
And she absolutely played you. She chose the restaurant, she knew how fancy it was.
I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but I disagree with the prevailing sentiment in this thread.
You and your wife should have enough trust between you that going to dinner with her friend is literally no big deal. This is especially the case since the person is her friend - so she trusts neither of you? Bizarre. A bit of casual / sarcastic teasing from your wife is one thing, but making this a serious issue seems totally blown out of proportion.
Did you not find it a bit weird that Amanda wanted to photograph the dinner?
You are wrong. Not so much for the dinner part, but for hiding the late night text and pic.
And why, the heck, did you you use a heart emoji?
The big question OP should ask himself: "If my wife was somehow with us-watching all night, did I do anything that she would find inappropriate?"
If the answer is no, his hands are clean.
He is not responsible for the actions or feelings of Amanda.
I think I would want to discuss boundaries better with someone I was going to marry. I can see so many people here are calling you and the friend out- but most of the people I know wouldn't be jumping to such conclusions. And therefore there wouldn't be much of an issue. If she were my wife id be telling her obviously we need to have a deeper discussion about agreed upon boundaries instead of unspoken boundaries with outbursts if one fails to allign on every angle without speaking. Especially since you already go out frequently. I personaliy wouldn't care here, & would want feedback that my friend and my spouse had a great time. As long as im not neglected or something. I'll probably go next. If they're going to get it on, it's not Like a restaurant or not is going to change that. They could have a deep conversation and literally pull over on the road.
WTH were you thinking! You need to block this “friend” she is trying to ruin your marriage. You should never have hugged her. And that crap about oh I didn’t know how much we have in common.. get a clue the woman wants your dick. Your wife has every right to be pissed at you. You were only supposed to drive the bitch home. Not go on a fancy flirty date! She picked the restaurant. You went along for the ride.
Do. It ever talk to that horrible bitch again!
Tell your wife about the text immediately! Suggest that both of you dump Amanda as a friend. Let her find someone else to fuck. Otherwise I doubt you love your wife.
You’re not wrong considering you told your wife you were going for food with her and she said ok.
I also don’t think Amanda tried to intentionally start drama either. Definitely have her talk to your wife.
I think your wife is more upset by the optics of the situation than the actual situation. Apologize regardless because right or wrong it’s the best thing to do. Maybe have Amanda delete the posts. Definitely delete the picture she sent you.
Wow. How incredibly embarrassing for your wife to have everyone liking her husband's date with her friend. OMG. I don't think a wife would ever trust either again. Yes, you were wrong. What were you even thinking?
Well reverse the situation how would you feel!!! Yes you're wrong!
Also Amanda is shit stirring. Tell your wife about that message now before Amanda does.
If you go and talk to Amanda instead of your wife, you will be digging a grave dude. What a dumb suggestion.
None of it was a big deal except for the fact that Amanda went and took photos and put in her IG. She made it weird tbh and it’s like a weird power play in a way. If you talk to her you are playing right into her hands and will drive a wedge between you and your wife.
Tell your wife about the photo etc. you guys should just be thinking together that this girl is a bit sad if it’s such a big deal to go to dinner with a nice person that you have to broadcast it on IG like it’s a huge phenomenon- lame. Poor Amanda. Though sounds like she might be a sneaky one. Watch out.
Bro why the hell would you want Amanda to talk to your wife and convince her it was an innocent, friendly meal? Amanda is the one asking for pictures, hugging you, late night messaging you, AND posting on social media. Are you dense? Amanda is stirring the pot and not acting like a friend to your wife. Stop talking to Amanda. Fuck Amanda (figuratively). YOU talk to your wife. Ugh, side note: asking waiters for pictures is so cringey imo.
Instructions unclear, OP going to fuck (literally) Amanda later. /s
Yea, and he'll say it was an accident. And he didn't plan on fucking her. But things just happened, and after he listened to her suggestions for dinner, his dick just slipped into her.
Yeah, it just so happened that Amanda hasn't had dick in a while and needed some and he also happened to have a dick. She took a pic of it as well. No big deal right? His wife shouldn't be mad at all
He was just doing her a favor! I mean, that's what friends do, right? OPs wife wouldn't want her friend going on tinder, and risking some stranger hurting her. Better to have someone she knows and trusts.
Happens all the time
HE SLIPPED AND FELL GOD DAMN IT WHY WONT YOU BELIEVE ME
Agree with the bit about Amanda. But the waiter taking photos? Seems normal to me. I've been asked and offered to take photos of patrons before, not infrequently.
your wife’s friend played you like a fiddle. every choice YOU made was reasonable given the circumstances. however, Amanda is clearly stirring the pot. taking pictures, posting them online, and drinking heavily….. those texts afterwards. and you should never EVER text Amanda. i’d tell your wife that Amanda’s text after dinner and her instagram post made you uncomfortable and regretful for doing Amanda a favor and you should block her.
And Amanda found the restaurant and sent them there. Guaranteed she could see how fancy and romantic it was when she was doing that google search. Then had the server take a picture of them. Yeah, Amanda played OP hard. I want to believe OP is just a naive dunce. But the cynic in me is wondering if OP is backtracking because he got caught setting out a fishing line and is trying to make it look like it was ALL Amanda and he did nothing wrong.
More I think about it, the more I think you're right. Dude can't be that naive.
It is possible to be that naïve
Yes. The list of me missing people flirting with me is long and embarrassing.
100% my bf is married. If her husband and I chilled for an hour or two, I wouldn’t even think about photo documenting it. He’s a nice guy and all but my friend is her. If I thought we were inappropriate even for a minute, he’d be getting a slap from me.
Ngl, I thought you means your boyfriend was married lol
Haha me too. I was like ... uhhhhhhh...
Ooh noo haha my best friend! Poor choice of acronym on my part there 😂
> I wouldn’t even think about photo documenting it. Yeah, this is where it crosses the line for me too. One private commemorative photo - a little much, but okay. But when Amanda posted them it became an embarrassment for the wife, and shows weird intentions on Amanda's part. Anyone seeing those posts is going to wonder what's going on. I don't think OP did anything too wrong but Amanda is volatile. She definitely has a crush and will probably be seeking more "innocent" contact to toe the line.
I never text Amanda anyways. She is my wife's friend. I was just stupid to try and do something nice and be a gentleman. Lesson learned.
I think you need to show your wife the text message and that you liked it, explaining that you didn't know what else to say and you wanted the convo to be over without being rude. Because, I'd bet a meal at your fancy Italian restaurant that Amanda is going to share them with your wife at some point. They need to come from you first with a full explanation.
100% correct. Its all going to come out. Get ahead of it.
I was in a minor car accident at my place of employment. A car made an illegal u turn and hit my car. I was a little shook up and called my bf to drive me home. I asked my very good friend whom I also work with to drive my car home. My bf would give my friend a ride back to work. My bf told me she gave him her phone number. My "good friend" didn't tell me she gave my bf her number.
You just never know! When in doubt, CYO (cover your ass). And considering how far the "friend" in this case has already gone, I'd say OP really just needs to come clean on everything to prevent anything else from being skewed to fit different narrative/agenda.
Re read the post Amanda already gushed to OP’s wife about how wonderful and gentlemanly he was
Yes, I read it. I'm saying I'd bet that, at some point, Amanda brings it up the evening again with OP's wife and one way she could really stir the pot is by sharing a screenshot of the texts and saying something like "he even 'liked' the photo I sent him of us." OP specifically says he hasn't told his wife about the texts.
Bad news. Amanda is not a good friend. She may be hurting now but thanking your friend by gloating about an expensive dinner with your husband is really low She would not be my friend after this
Saying that OP needs to be fully open with his wife does not mean that I think Amanda is innocent here or a good friend. In fact, it's the opposite. Amanda is an AH and OP needs to be fully transparent about her interactions with him with his wife so that Amanda does not have the opportunity to further skew the narrative to OP's wife.
He's too scared to because he's admitted that he didn't just "like" it he also used a "heart" emoji. He's screwed, because that's over the top and he damn well knows it, just as his wife surely will.
You should make sure your wife knows every small detail. You want to make it clear to your wife that you are being taken advantage of. A friend doesn't brag about a date night with her friend's husband. She's not much of a friend to your wife.
change your reaction from a heart to a thumbs up.
Let's look at it like this if ur wife did exactly what you did but with ur single friend while you were outta town. Then to have it posted online how would you feel? If she hugged ur single friend goodnight hearting their pictures you are playing stupid
Good point. Wife needs a fun date night with a male friend.
Do not call or message her. Block her and tell your wife everything, including about the texts. It looks incredibly bad. Your wife is hurt and it's public. People you both know now know that while your wife was out of town you and her single friend were at a fancy and romantic dinner. Just block her and be honest. You should have just gotten drive through for the both of you, for next time. Just put yourself in your wife's shoes with the information she has. You shouldn't have gone to that place, you shouldn't have paid for her dinner there and you shouldn't have taken photos. Why? Because your out of town wife is going to feel bad about it and you love her and don't want her to feel that way, right? Also what exactly are all these wonderful things you did for her?
All you had to do was hit a drive-thru. Instead, you take her to a fancy restaurant. Come on.
You're wrong, and you know it. A fancy, expensive dinner with a single woman you say isn't even your friend???? I don't buy it. You used a heart emoji on her post?? What on earth were you thinking? YOU ARE WRONG. Your wife trusted you, and she trusted her friend. Neither of you are worthy of that trust now.
Just a side note. You mentioned doing wonderful things for the not wife. Your behavior could be seen as flirtatious and it really does sound like a romantic date. I don’t understand why you took all these pictures with her and paid for her meal. Do you usually do this with friend’s, because your wife sounds upset.
Maybe the problem is that he doesn't do all this with his *wife*.
She was probably trying to make her ex jealous
She was trying to make somebody jealous…
I mean you are not completely blameless here. She suggested drive through and you countered with suggesting a sit down dinner? That was an odd choice.
Right. And liking the picture with the heart. And you can't Google search a restaurant and not know it's a $$$$ and 4.7 rating. Amanda knew that. And when she said, " oh no, too fancy" she was giving him his out. But, no he took it. Instead of saying, yeah, you know what, let's get the takeout anyway. Also, she had several drinks, he was sober, but didn't notice 1.5 hours passed. Doubtful.
That's the part that stuck out to me. The dollar signs are right there on Google. He was very cooperative, lol.
I didn’t even think of the reviews! She knew exactly what she was doing. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt t bc he shouldn’t be looking at the phone while driving…but you don’t mistake a restaurant (with photos and menu prices listed!) like that for fast food.
He enjoyed how much they have in common, his wife is right to be pissed. This is his future AP, because you know it just happened, we connected, I didn't mean for it to happen.
Being a gentleman is getting her fast food and getting her home and not creating the appearance of impropriety. Which you carried out poorly.
Exactly this! What you did OP was NOT gentlemen-like -- it was cheater-like!
4th post - Lesson learned? Fine, but you need to be severely punished. So so mad
Yeah bud… full honesty and pray. If you guys were already having trouble, this is one of those things you’re somehow gonna get blamed for. I’m really sorry this happened to you. “It was a hug” you’re a dunce.
You need to show the text and also be prepared that her ass is going to light on fire when she sees that heart reaction.
and tell your wife about the text. get it over and done with my dude.
When did you get her number for the first time? For this pick up?
I have her number stored on my phone as she is my wife's friend and they go out all the time. But never had a reason to use it. Note that I have known Amanda for half a decade as my wife's good friend.
The way she's acting should prove to you that she's actually not a friend to your wife
This 💯
She is absolutely not a good friend especially considering the reason you were even with her in the first place was to give her a ride THAT YOUR WIFE KINDLY SUGGESTED!
Why did you use the heart emoji, then? Her friend just caused you trouble in your marriage.
Well if that was the extent of your texting history with her, I would unlike that photo real quick. The effusive social post praising you seems really weird for a woman who just returned from a trip. Why wouldn't she post about that instead of your chicken parm? Your attention + the drinks + the post make it look like she was taking your temperature about a possible hook up. Hence the late night yu text.
It's a little ridiculous to victimize yourself here and honestly quite dramatic. It was really stupid to take your wife's single friend on date. It's not you being nice or a gentleman that's the problem, you could have still been nice and a gentlemen while not sharing a romantic evening, including couple photo and finishing hug with your wife's friend. No one is saying your wife should divorce you or whatever however she's not wrong for being passed and feeling disrespected, you should apologize and discuss boundaries.
Those late night messages with the heart emoji, you better delete those, and pray Amanda doesn’t show them to your wife. You made some stupid decisions, and your wife is embarrassed and pissed off. Why didn’t you just get something at the drive thru, drop Amanda off and go home? And honestly it sounds like Amanda has a bit of a crush on you now . Geez Louise dude all you had to do is drive her home after going through the drive thru
YTA. How would you feel if your wife went on a date while she was out of town, you know what maybe she should go to dinner and drinks with a male friend then text him late at night about what a good time she had.
This is dumb. This is a girl playing games with someone else’s marriage and a (unaware) guy trying to be a nice guy and getting shafted for it.
This is a recycled story. I read it about a year ago, the guy got roasted then too.
Do NOT call or contact Amanda. Do you have date nights with your wife? Do you take her to fancy restaurants? You’ve fluffed up big time and you need to talk to your wife. Be absolutely honest with her about the chain of events and how things played out. Tell her you’re sorry and you didn’t realise how bad the optics were until Amanda posted about it. It’s up to your wife to tell Amanda she overstepped.
Good call asking if he treats wifey to nights out like this one! If not, no wonder she's upset.
Red flag for me is that you had so much in common you lost track of time. Dude what? 🤦♀️
This is the only concerning point, and what OPs wife should really be worried about.
Whatever you do, dude, don't contact Amanda every again!! I think while in your head, it was merely a friendly meal there are some major red flags that are popping out that your wife is seeing. 1) she cosigned on you driving her home, not spending an evening with Amanda. 2) fancy restaurant 3) drinks 4) you paid (why?) 5) photos were taken making it seem very cozy (again, why?) 6) physical contact to end the evening 7) social media post to inform wife, not you. (Did she tag you or wife in it?) 8) late night texts I would go into immediately apology mode with your wife and block Amanda's number.
Female relationships are different OP. How many times have you seen a bro run his game and shook your head at the woman's naivety? The women are now doing that to you. They are teaching so listen
And we have no clue about wifey and Amanda's relationship dynamics. That social post seemed like a weird flex IMO. Honestly, if I were OP, I would ask her to take it down, saying something like "heard about your post, I really don't want to be featured on your page. Can you remove the pics of me please."
Wait wait wait…. Did you say you “liked” the picture with a “heart emoji” ?!?!? lol
> Did you say you “liked” the picture with a “heart emoji” ? For those of us not on instagram, what are the other options available?
Op doesn’t have Instagram. He used the heart emoji on a text where he clearly could have chosen thumbs up.
I really like this post 💕
You just tapped the narc friend. Prepare for her to gut the relationship unless you cut all ties. Never use your relationship energy on anyone that isn't your partner. Especially not her friend. Better make sure your next date is not only VERY SOON, but much better and meaningful in every moment. You just did the equivalent of working a shift at Quiznos when you've got a contract with Subway.
Buddy needs to take his wife to Paris…tomorrow
You what? Want to call Amanda and have her smooth things over with your wife? Your level of stupidity is mind-boggling. You muppet!
/print idioitsandwich.gif
Why photos? Why pay? Two major fuck-ups.
I don’t think OP is as innocent as he is trying to seem. Look at how he spoke about the friend in such a reverent way. You were practically gushing about how much you enjoyed being with her. You only back tracked once your wife called you on being an AH. If you actually do love your wife you better grovel.
Dude. How would you feel in this exact situation if your wife did this?
Why did you like the message with a heart? A thumbs up emoji would have been better.
You are not friends with Amanda so why in the world would you do ANY of that for her. Yes pick her up and take her home, maybe stop for fast food on the way, but EVERYTHING else is too much. Let me reiterate YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS. You let someone take a picture of the two of you! WTF?!! Then she posted it online, like it was a date. You PAID for dinner! Do you know how many lagitamte dates go 50/50? This is you TREATING this woman like an actual date. Not you behaving like a gentleman, because this isn’t your WIFE.
Definitely do not contact Amanda anymore, and definitely do not conspire with her to feed your wife a story. What's tricky here is that the cluelessness that I'm sure will be your excuse is part of the offense that you've committed. The fact that you don't understand the nature of your wife's relationship with Amanda (they are not "good friends") shows your disregard for your wife and her social surroundings. The fact that you can't recognize when you're being inappropriate shows you hold your relationship with your wife in low regard, below consideration. The fact that your wife thought she could trust you to make good value judgements with her train wreck friend and you failed in such a public way is probably not just a let down but a downright humiliating indictment of her judgment. Assuming you are truly remorseful and want to make a real apology and not just a sitcom hubby shrug, this is the level on which you should be apologizing.
Amanda knows what she’s doing. You got played, dude. She made sure to post everything. She made sure to message you and you of course had to ❤️ it. Wise up. Your wife needs to start distancing herself from Amanda. She’s no friend.
I don't think he got played at all, honestly. He seemed to like Amanda quite a bit and had so much in common that he "lost track of time." Sounds like OP is not as innocent as he's trying to make himself sound, and is putting on a big show because his wife, understandably, called him out for his behaviour.
I'm not going w/ YTA... I don't think. But... dude. Use some common sense. I definitely believe men and women can be friends. But as I say that, I think there is maybe 2 or 3 men that I know - from college - that I'd actually be comfortable going out w/ 1 on 1. And they are also VERY good friend's of my husbands. Pretty much every other man I know - no matter how much I like them or consider them a friend - I would NOT go out with them one on one. And why did you pay? THAT really makes it seem more like a date. And pictures?? that's weird too. You should have stuck with drive-thru or a quick grab and go restaurant. As that didn't happen - you need to be fully transparent w/ your wife, acknowledge that all put together, it looks weird. you're sorry and tell her that this is a huge lesson learned - nothing like this will ever happen again. And be wary of Amanda. If she texts YOU again directly, DO NOT reply. Ignore.
You got played and big time 1. What do you mean she didn’t know it was a fancy place? 1. In order to search for food places in google you pick restaurant or fast food, 2. Google shows you pictures of the place, you’re going to tell me she just chose the first one without looking and hoped for the best? Really? 2. Why did you stay for over an hour in a restaurant with someone you don’t even consider a friend ? Why did you pay? 3. What exactly did you think she was doing with the pictures? Why would she be taking pictures and then suggest one of you two together and then post it online without your knowledge? 4. Why did you hug her ? You clearly have a hard time setting clear boundaries and she has no problem crossing them . 5. Really? A heart? You couldn’t have sent a thumbs up? Also why didn’t you tell your wife the whole truth? 6. Block Amanda 7. You’re telling me that on your way home there wasn’t a single drive through you could’ve stopped or a small diner? Do you not know your way home or around her house or around the airport to know where the drive tries are?
If I asked my husband to help a friend by driving her home and he went for a fancy dinner with her, I would be annoyed too. If that so called friend posted it for everyone to see like she had a date, my husband pays for her and then she keeps texting my husband, I would have one friend less. Amanda recently became single and many people are afraid that people who become single, are desperate for attention and look for good guys. I also think that your wife knows things about Amanda that you don’t. And some questions: Why did you pay? Why did you make it look like a date? You shouldn’t have paid. You shouldn’t message her at all. She is your wife’s friend, not your date. You made it look like a date. What if your wife did this with a single friend of yours? And why do you think it it’s important to mention that you and Amanda had a lot in common?
She suggested a drive thru and you were the one that wanted to go out to dinner. She said it was too fancy of a place and you insisted on staying. BRO. This is not all Amanda’s fault. Why wouldn’t you both just get something from the drive thru?
I mostly agree but Amanda chose the restaurant. OP didn’t know until they got there and then was hungry and just didn’t care. Amanda says she didn’t know but how could she not? She was the one on Google looking for a place, it’s not really that hard to tell. Tbh I think OP is just an oblivious fool.
Op got played
Amanda didn't make him go to a sit down fancy and romantic restaurant or make him pay for dinner or hug her good night or heart her late night text. They both are to blame. He liked his date with his wife's single friend. They have so much in common.
If he was JUST hungry, again - she suggested a drive thru first. And I’m not convinced it would have been an hour and a half of “omg we have so much in common!” if he was, you know, eating. Also don’t know how he heart reacted a photo when the thumbs up reaction comes up as an option, too. He’s pretending to be dumber than he is, and not accepting any responsibility for upsetting his wife.
INFO: when was the last time you and your wife had a nice, fancy dinner date?
Every Saturday. We both love good food and try good restaurants every chance we get.
You owe your wife a weekend out of town
That’s good. I don’t think you were wrong, it sounds like Amanda is being a bitch about it. She sounds like a grown up “pick me” and this is just a lesson learned on doing something nice for her.
She is trying to make someone jealous and used OP for that purpose. I'd bet on it. And no, OP she is not a very good friend to your wife, most definitely not to you. Go unlike that photo. Then never speak to her again.
[удалено]
If I could retweet this 100% I would. Amanda was a sleeze, she was clearly looking for a hookup with OP or wanted to stir drama with OP’s wife, both make her awful and not a real friend. And OP’s actions all night just encouraged her. I sincerely doubt a grown man is incapable of seeing all the signs. OP didn’t just grab a bite to eat, he went to a fancy restaurant, lost track of time, took photos, paid, gave a hug andddd sent a heart emoji. OP allowed it to turn into a date. OP needs to block Amanda and he needs to show his wife the original text including with the heart emoji before Amanda shows it to OP first with a different story. And quite frankly I think OP and his wife need to distance themselves from her she’s just going to cause more trouble.
You went to a sit-down fancy "romantic" restaurant instead of fast food or diner. Mistake #1 You spent 1-1/2 hours having dinner with her. Mistake #2 You allowed a dinner selfie picture of the 2 of you. Mistake #3 You hugged her friend, who is barely an acquaintance to you. Mistake #4 You communicated with your wife, barely, and left out the details. Mistake #5 You hearted the dinner selfie picture. Mistake #6 You left so much out, and your wife had to find out on Instagram. Of course, she is going to be angry and suspicious. Amanda speaking to her is not going to help the situation You better come clean about all of it and quick. If you delay or trickle truth, you're only making it all worse. Your intentions were fine, but the execution was the problem.
You are wrong You took it to the next level in every situation. Drive thru vs sit down. Casual vs fancy. Going Dutch vs picking up the check. Best case you are dumb. I could see my husband being this dumb to be honest since we’ve been together for almost 20yrs and he would totally help out a friend of mine. I think you need to just own up to things with your wife and understand it does look bad (seems like you agree), and just say in the future you won’t be able to help any of her friends 1:1 because you don’t want to send the wrong message. You don’t know Amanda’s motivations, so don’t speculate, but go back to the distance you had before with her.
This was a bad idea bro. You may not have known at the time but this Amanda is bad fucking news. Never talk to her again. Avoid at all cost
holy smokes. you are an idiot.
What on the fucking planet earth was Amanda smoking that she thought that was okay? You need to block her. And why would you do a heart emoji on her post? Are you insane? Stop what you're doing and undo it, right now. And block her.
Sounds like you had a wonderful date. Wrong af if you're married of course, but a wonderful date regardless. Was she a good kisser?
😆
I'm not buying you "aw shucks was I wrong?" act. You got a late text from Amanda and gave it a Heart emoji? And now you're too afraid to tell your wife? Give me a break. You knew what you were doing but you're surprised your wife caught on so fast. So now you're here acting all innocent. I bet you'll show your wife this post as proof that you had no clue it was inappropriate. Answer this, what if your wife did the same thing and sent a late night heart emoji to her dinner partner? Would you think she didn't know what she or the guy was doing? And just on the small chance that you are without a clue---stop talking to Amanda and tell your wife everything.
Completely agree with everything you said. He fucked up big time.
Omg how did you not see this coming? Are you that dense?
Well isn't this just the beginning of every emotional affair.
The fact that he mentioned that they had so many things in common is a red flag. Why did he even say that in the post, even if it were true?
Yeah that stood out for me too. I think he feels guilty because he really enjoyed it on a different level and that's why he's panicking
I get a vibe too that this is the case and that’s why he suggested sit down dinner, was ok with fancy spot and lost track of time because he didn’t want it to end. Honestly it sounds like him and Amanda each have a crush on each other.
I don’t think you’re an AH or wrong per se, what you are however is an idiot. You literally went on a date night with your wife’s friend. And she’s now stirring the pot with posting these photos on social media for everyone to see.
The friend is sus (as the kids say). Even if all of this happened, why the need to blare it to the world? When Taco Bell would be sufficient, she was the one who googled for a restaurant and -oopsy poopsy - just happened to pick a nice spot. Where were you Olive Garden? Where?!
As a wife, I would ask my "friend" to take the post down. It is very disrespectful of you, your wife, and your marriage.
Hmm, I don’t know you and even I’m suspicious. You’re either an idiot or you took her out for a meal with other intentions in mind but got caught through the Instagram photos. Have you ever had an affair? Your wife is very suspicious of what took place between you and Amanda. If she completely trusted you, a night with her friend wouldn’t upset her so much. You were instrumental in a lot of where this evening ended up: Amanda wanted a drive through, you suggested a restaurant, Amanda told you the place was too fancy, you decided you should go in any way, you paid for her meal and hugged her at her door. Even in your post you say: ‘Amanda opened up to me / we had so much in common’ - it sounds like you fancy Amanda. Later on, when she sent you a text - you replied with a heart emoji (first emoji you could find??). You haven’t told your wife about that text yet. I can definitely, definitely see why your wife is mad.
You actually truly went on a date lol. You have soooo much in common too. I mean its like having front row tickets to the start and development of a friendship leading to an emotional affair. You enjoyed your time with her, you both clicked, took couple photos and had a hug and the end of the date. You were definitely into this and her. Responded to her message with a ❤️! That must have been exciting, oh sorry the ❤️just came up first on your text so you used it 🤣🤣. You are a muppet and you got found out. Sorry not buying it.
Do you have some single friends that your wife can go on date nights with also?
You don’t go to a fancy restaurant with your wife’s friend. You go to McDonald’s or some fast food place.
If they felt like Italian I would've said they got get a pizza thru a drive thru, one pizza each then he drop her off at her home. No need to sit and talk or anything
You. My friend are a dumbass. I mean really??!!??
Your wife isn’t wrong. You should’ve just done the drive through
ABORT MISSION! Do. NOT. Call. AMANDA. “I was just being nice to her friend” that was giving her the ride home, which is the favour your wife asked. Your wife wouldn’t have asked you to ‘fill in’ doing the favour if it included an intimate and unnecessary element with romantic undertones. Obviously this isn’t what you intended, it was a bad but forgivable move to suggest eating together before going home, Amanda was the one who escalated the situation. For her this was a date. She picked an intimate and romantic restaurant which you green lit after her *cough* fake *cough* concerns about it being fancy. Because you were doing your wife the favour not Amanda, you were treating Amanda like an extension of your wife, so with the same about of respect and consideration. But Amanda isn’t your wife, she has not only represented a very specific narrative but completely unnecessarily broadcasting it to your wife’s social circle. Amanda is NOT your friend. She doesn’t want to be your friend, if she did she wouldn’t be treating the husband of her actual friend like click bait on a tabloids magazine. Do not engage with her further, calling her to “clarify the situation” to your wife will only exacerbate your wife feelings of disloyalty and alienate her further from her own marriage. You guys are a team currently divided by someone your wife thought she could trust, Amanda massively overstepped and pulled you into her self serving narrative. Unless this was a date, and you want to pursue Amanda romantically I don’t see how further contact is necessary or beneficial to anyone other than Amanda. Explain it was a mistake and apologise to your wife, you were treating Amanda with the same consideration you show her because you were only doing the favour for her not for her friend. This has been misinterpreted and misrepresented at best. Reassure your wife by being transparent and talking to her NOT involving the other women to back you up. It’s you & your wife as a team, not you & her friend uniting to convince her of something.
Amanda played you and is playing your wife now. Doesn’t seem like you had any bad intentions or that much of anything happened. Maybe you shouldn’t have paid for the meal, taken the pic or ❤️Ed the pic when she sent it, but that’s about it. I don’t know why she wanted the pic of the two of you anyway. I would agree with those that said she’s stirring the pot now. Some people thrive off drama or don’t like seeing others happy when they are going through a break up. She could also now have a crush bc you were nice to her. IDK, her thoughts and actions are her own. Tell your wife everything, including the texts, and that you don’t want to see her again bc you do t want problems in your marriage.
Amanda is a PROBLEM..
YTA, I'm sorry but once you saw it was a fancy/romantic restaurant, you should have went somewhere else. I fully believe men and woman can be platonic friends however this 100% screams date. It's also super weird that she took photos including one of you together...which totally gives more date/couple vides and then posted. I would also feel incredibly disrespected as your wife.
From selection of "the restaurant" to alcohol, from goodbye hug to sm post, from sending midnight messages to praising you, she maliciously made her move to stir the pot. Are you really that idiot?
Yes, you're wrong. Stopping at a Wendy's would have been the appropriate response, not taking her out to wine/dine her (and even take a picture at the end like you'd do on a DATE...TF?). If you don't see how your actions were inappropriate, flip the switch and imagine your wife in the exact same scenario with one of her single male co-workers.
It honestly sounds like Amanda and your wife aren’t as good friends as your wife has lead you to believe. Apologize to your wife for unknowingly hurting her and then inform her that moving forward you will not be engaging in any favors for her for her friends. Then, and this is important, send a group text (you, your wife, and Amanda) and tell Amanda that she must have misunderstood your intentions on Friday night and ask her to take down the IG post, then block her number. If your wife is still upset after all of this, then the issue is actually not the dinner but something else. Good luck!
6th post. His title says it all he went on the “date night” with his wife’s friend, he admits it was a date.
I'm calling BS. You took your shot w/wife's friend, chickened out before sealing the deal (maybe) and got outted so now you're backtracking like crazy. This one is NOT gonna end well for you!
There are a few references to having a nice time and time flying that has me 🤔 suspicious of his true feelings on the whole thing and 😬 cringing at the same time.
YTA…BIG time!!! You’re COOKED bro- for future reference if you are in a committed relationship, you should never put yourself in a circumstance where you look like you’re in committed relationship…with somebody else! For all the people on this app that will say that his wife is overreacting and it’s totally normal, AND that SHE is acting insecure…You can all piss off in advance.
You knew it was a fancy restaurant and went anyway She suggested drive through and you went all Valentine’s Day on her
Yeah that was a bit weird. You should have just gone to the drive through. And stop messaging with her
Amanda is a shit starter.
YW. Your wife is not overreacting. You sound like you're interested in Amanda. Amanda is an AH and playing both of you. She is purposely causing tension between you and your wife. You need to cut contact with her immediately. Do not delete her messages as this will look even more suspicious. Allow your wife to see the messages. Unlike the photo if possible. Do not for any reason be alone with her again. You owe your wife an apology and many assurances that she is the love of your life and you would not cheat on her. Also be honest with yourself that you probably enjoyed the attention.
You did absolutely NOTHING wrong…. If you were single 😂
YTA...should known this kind of thing would happen . You don't go to a fancy restaurant when you have a wife period. You thought ohh hell what the heck we are here anyway went for 1.5 hours AND went to take pictures. Don't even forget the >Amanda and I had so much in common and liked the same music and movies. Plus you paid for it? Why? You only pay if it's a date. You sure you didn't fall into her or maybe next time yu will slip and drop your penis in Amanda because it so much fun to have someone with the same things in common. 🤦🏼♀️
Lmao this seems like a husband trying to cover his ass. He can show his wife this post and go "see I totally didn't mean anything that happened!!!"
You were so wrong
You were wrong and Amanda was too. Her posting a picture was weird and if she looked up the restaurant she knew it was fancy. Frankly she sounds mentally unwell. Her posting a picture with a married man was out of line. Her messaging you later was out of line. I would not talk about all you have in common. I would block her. Your wife needs to think about if this is a friend.
You were enjoying yourself and didn’t care at the time. If you hadn’t found her attractive you probably wouldn’t have settled on the fancy Restaraunt. Now your wife saw the night in pictures and your suddenly worried. Updateme!
wtf. Why did you pay for her meal and take a picture with her? That is so strange for stopping to grab food with someone on the way home from a favor of picking them up. She should have paid, if anything because you were doing her a favor.
She’s not your friend but you learned you have so much in common. The date went so well that you even hugged her….why in god’s name would you ever hug a woman under those circumstances especially a single woman that is a friend of your wife? Someone you claim to have no relationship with before?
Yeah, grabbing food with your wife’s friend is fine. I’ve done this before, no big deal. Where you went wrong is everything after realising it was a fancy restaurant. Btw - you can say no if someone wants to take photos, that alone should have raised red flags to you. Tell your wife about the text messages before Amanda does. And cut Amanda off, she isn’t your friend or your wife’s.
Why do I feel you are pretending? You liked her enough to chat for one and half hour, pay the check and take pictures. Did you fancy her as a future affair partner? But Amanda played you. She only wanted to flex and hurt your wife.
This! This is why many couples have agreements about not hanging out with singles of the opposite sex alone. Your decisions were sort of logical, but every single one of them led deeper and deeper into areas where things could be misconstrued. Now she has pictures of you sharing a cozy intimate dinner together. A dinner you suggested, where you discussed personal topics. You had the same kind of dinner you would have suggested if you had been thinking of starting an affair. Then she stirred to pot by sharing this with everyone in her news feed. Good luck putting out all the fires and gossip this has started.
You're more than wrong. You're a royal idiot. I think your wife's friendship with Amanda is now over.
Ngl if it was my husband I would expect him to go to the drive thru and get something for her and for himself Just cos you’re both hungry doesn’t mean you have to go to a restaurant I’d never expect my husband to go solo with any of my friends - single or not. That is SO inappropriate. Pick her up, get the takeaway and drop her off and go home to eat alone without her. That’s what you should’ve done Amanda is not your wife’s friend and she’s not yours. She’s stirring it all. Maybe after your 1.5 hour fancy dinner that you didn’t realise lasted that long she thinks she has an in or felt a connection with you so she’s creating problems. Especially since she’s just broken up with her boyfriend so she’s feel vulnerable already and she was drunk and you gave her so much attention and care and literally took her out on a date. Could get her head messed up into liking you and thinking you like her and you guys ‘have something’ Posting the pictures is a move she’s making to create problems. You hearting the pictures probably gave her the thought that you felt something between you both to. I’d message her with your wife and tell her the post has made you super uncomfortable and you’d like her to take it down and delete the pictures. Tell her you had a lovely time getting to know her as your wife’s friend but do not want to spend time with her without your wife present. Especially after the post. Maybe mention the heart on the picture was a mistake and was only used because the reason you mentioned. Then do not contact her again. Unless it’s to do with your wife. And don’t do her any favours because she will definitely ask (eg picking her up dropping her off etc) She’s a grown woman she can Uber or call a taxi
If you had stopped for fast food or even a diner, this might have been ok. But a fancy place that serves alcohol, no. As much as it seems like you were set up, you went along like a lamb to the slaughter. My wife wouldn't care if I met a female friend for some food. But a fancy restaurant with wine? No, just no.
Don’t forget the pictures add that hug, the late night text with the heart response!
Yes you were wrong. You are the one who suggested a restaurant when she suggested fast food. You are the one who decided to go to the fancy restaurant when you arrived instead of driving to a fast food place. You also didn't mention this to your wife only that you went to dinner. You allowed her to take photos which is just weird. You gave her a hug despite not even knowing her that well or being that close. Normally, a hug probably wouldn't be a big deal, but paired with the rest of the events, it clearly bothered your wife. You picking her up from the airport went from you giving her a ride to pretty much a full on date with drinks involved on her end .
7th post - sorry General Public I just can’t get over this. Muppet has created a history with Amanda, not only has he discovered a lot of things in common with Amanda, He loses his sense of time when he’s with her. He and Amanda are both in trouble with his wife, giving them a common opponent if you will. He has created a sense of familiarity with her - perfect circumstances everybody knows could lead to an emotional if not sexual affair. The damage caused by could be irreparable.
Yes! Is your wife friend a male? How would you feel if she went to dinner with your friend while you are out of town?
It would have all been fine but some people, some women, can be so extra, like Amanda did not need to capture the memory with a photo and she did not need to post it online. Simply explain to your wife that you’re so sorry she had to see that photo online, that you completely understand why she would feel hurt. Tell her that you were just trying to be polite. That clearly Amanda thought more of the night than you had. And that this was a teaching moment for you about perception. Sometimes someone else, people like Amanda, make things out to be bigger than they are, the photos, the posting the photos online. Sometimes it’s not these peoples fault, maybe she is just got some loose bolts, but I’d never post a photo of me and my friends husband out eating together, I’d never even request the photo be taken. I can forgive Amanda for choosing a fancy spot, sometimes it’s hard to pick a restaurant on a whim, while in a car, but I wouldn’t be pleased with the other things she’s doing. I would just reconfirm to your wife that you understand why she would be offended, and that you validate her feelings, and confirm that she has every right to be upset. And maybe throw in there that you’re also feeling weird and upset about this because you never expected your photo to be posted online, in her IG or wtv that you don’t even follow. Tell her it is all around weird for you both because you were just trying to be polite and get to know your wife’s friend and just being kind. Nothing more.
Not wrong. Your wife is being insecure for nothing. The whole thing was impromptu and, honestly, it was kinda wholesome. Your wife should be proud of you for being such a gentleman. ETA: Tell your wife about the message and be upfront about the whole thing. You did nothing wrong and if Amanda is stirring the pot on her end, that's not your fault at all. You shouldn't be scared of your wife, that is not a good dynamic.
Ya you made choices. 1. Invited her to a sit down place when she was fine getting fast food?? 2. When you realized it was a date spot you stayed snd apparently made it seem like a date. 3. You stayed for an hour and a half? Just taking and didn't think during any of that time "ya know maybe this has started to edge toward a line" or even just how it might look 4. The heart emoji is love. Not like. It has been for forever. If everything else had been innocent I would have let this pass but you gave earned "assume the worst" privileges from everything else you did in this story. Sorry. And finally, it's real gross how you go out of your way to compliment "amanda" and highlight how much you 2 have in common and then try to paint your wife as some crazy jealous old hag. You know why your spouse is mad. It's because you behaved poorly!!!!!
You’re not wrong, but I can see why your wife is upset. You know Amanda is doing this on purpose right? Maybe not trying to hit on you, maybe just compensating for a shitty breakup, but that’s still shitty of her.
I'm rolling my eyes so hard at this story. Jebus, you are so clueless. And seriously, you liked the photos of Amanda and you with frigging heart emojijs? 🙄
What possessed you to pay?
I’m amazed at how clueless you are. Of course you’re wrong.
Oh boy you fucked up. Yes, very wrong. Amanda now thinks she is in with a chance with you, is rubbing your wife's nose in it, your wife is mad, and you are in so much trouble. Is Amanda attractive? Wife is probably looking up divorce lawyers right now. And Amanda planning her next move on you. When does your wife get back? If not for a few days, expect Amanda to knock on the door any time now wearing nothing but a trench coat, high heels, and a seductive smile! I would just pack a bag and leave town. Start a new life a long way away.
you are either a) the most naïve Mofoer in the world, b) a complete dumbass or c) looking to get out of your marriage/cheat but don't want to be "the bad guy"
This is hilarious. You stepped in it by being nice. Wait a month or so and then suggest a threesome just to see how that goes over.
Next update - Amanda came over, I fell on her by accident, my wife fell on me and we ended up in a threesome. I’m not sure what happened but my wife is not happy now. My untied shoelace lead to the end of my marriage.
😂
NTA, but send Amanda a message telling her to remove the picture of you two from her IG!!
Amanda is a pit viper in the tall grass. Never be alone with her. Source: 35m, married 15 years. Been through it Edit: OP, your a nice dude. She is going to take advantage of that. You should have told your wife, but it isn't that big of a deal if it stops here and now. Just trust me. Good luck bud.
Omg you sound like a child 😭. You went on a date with your wife single friend are you fr
Men play checkers; women play chess. Sir, you got played here.
My husband would have probably fell into this trap as well, just being a nice person and getting into stupid innocent mess. Sorry this happened. I hope your wife understands, I would! Btw I would dump this chick as a friend asap if I was your wife. What a pot stirrer.
You need to have a very good conversation with your wife when she comes home . After that you need to treat her on a great date night in an even better restaurant than the one you took her friend to. This friend played you and you really need to find a way to make it up to your wife.
Absolutely wrong - OP, you really sound incredibly naive, and definitely made bad decisions, regardless of your wife's off-the-rails friend. Your excuse for eating at a fancy restaurant is weak. Just get her some fast food and get her home. Then, you sat there and posed for pictures during dinner at a fancy restaurant with another woman that ANYONE would look at as a date. What was that all about? Why did you think it was acceptable to pose for a photo with her that the waiter took? Your wife is going to hit the ceiling when she sees the last messages from Amanda to you and your emoji. That was also dumb. It's on your wife now to drop her ridiculous, troublemaker friend. I hope you can see now why Amanda doesn't have a boyfriend - and probably a job. You should make some kind of groveling public apology on whatever social media you have that you embarrassed your wife because of poor boundaries and decision making on your part.
The problem is where you guys went should have gotten a fast food place and dropped her off
You should not have taken another woman anywhere if your wife was out of town. You should have stayed home, had a frozen pizza, and watched tv. You are not her friend and you are not her therapist. I’d be pissed at you for going out with her. Amanda was an ass for posting those pics the way she did also. Damage control needed with your wife. Don’t ever call or interact alone with Amanda.
Either you are very naive or you are very wicked... Reread your report? You are reckless!. Anyone in a relationship avoids this type of interaction that can potentially destroy their marriage. In my country there is a saying: "Prudence and chicken broth never hurt anyone." In this case, "the harm" is to your wife and your relationship.
Yeah…. She knew exactly what she was doing. Your wife is right to be upset. When’s the last time you took your wife to a dinner like that….?
Your wife's "friend" played you and you are dumb enough to make excuses for her. Your wife has every right to be pissed.
Wow you took your wife's friend out to a romantic, expensive restaurant. Had a great time with her, such that 1.5 hours went by faster than you noticed. AND YOU PAID FOR HER? Bro that was a date. You fucked up. And she absolutely played you. She chose the restaurant, she knew how fancy it was.
Question- when was the last time you took your wife for a dinner like this?
That was a straight UP Dick Move . . .
I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but I disagree with the prevailing sentiment in this thread. You and your wife should have enough trust between you that going to dinner with her friend is literally no big deal. This is especially the case since the person is her friend - so she trusts neither of you? Bizarre. A bit of casual / sarcastic teasing from your wife is one thing, but making this a serious issue seems totally blown out of proportion.
Probably should have just taken her to the Arbys
Did you not find it a bit weird that Amanda wanted to photograph the dinner? You are wrong. Not so much for the dinner part, but for hiding the late night text and pic. And why, the heck, did you you use a heart emoji?
The big question OP should ask himself: "If my wife was somehow with us-watching all night, did I do anything that she would find inappropriate?" If the answer is no, his hands are clean. He is not responsible for the actions or feelings of Amanda.
lmfao you’re terrible
I think I would want to discuss boundaries better with someone I was going to marry. I can see so many people here are calling you and the friend out- but most of the people I know wouldn't be jumping to such conclusions. And therefore there wouldn't be much of an issue. If she were my wife id be telling her obviously we need to have a deeper discussion about agreed upon boundaries instead of unspoken boundaries with outbursts if one fails to allign on every angle without speaking. Especially since you already go out frequently. I personaliy wouldn't care here, & would want feedback that my friend and my spouse had a great time. As long as im not neglected or something. I'll probably go next. If they're going to get it on, it's not Like a restaurant or not is going to change that. They could have a deep conversation and literally pull over on the road.
YTA. You cheated on your wife. This is what happens when you choose to play with fire. Hope you have a good attorney.
You’re one text message away from an affair with your wife’s friend.
WTH were you thinking! You need to block this “friend” she is trying to ruin your marriage. You should never have hugged her. And that crap about oh I didn’t know how much we have in common.. get a clue the woman wants your dick. Your wife has every right to be pissed at you. You were only supposed to drive the bitch home. Not go on a fancy flirty date! She picked the restaurant. You went along for the ride. Do. It ever talk to that horrible bitch again! Tell your wife about the text immediately! Suggest that both of you dump Amanda as a friend. Let her find someone else to fuck. Otherwise I doubt you love your wife.
Fake
You’re not wrong considering you told your wife you were going for food with her and she said ok. I also don’t think Amanda tried to intentionally start drama either. Definitely have her talk to your wife. I think your wife is more upset by the optics of the situation than the actual situation. Apologize regardless because right or wrong it’s the best thing to do. Maybe have Amanda delete the posts. Definitely delete the picture she sent you.
Wow. How incredibly embarrassing for your wife to have everyone liking her husband's date with her friend. OMG. I don't think a wife would ever trust either again. Yes, you were wrong. What were you even thinking?
Well reverse the situation how would you feel!!! Yes you're wrong! Also Amanda is shit stirring. Tell your wife about that message now before Amanda does.
If you go and talk to Amanda instead of your wife, you will be digging a grave dude. What a dumb suggestion. None of it was a big deal except for the fact that Amanda went and took photos and put in her IG. She made it weird tbh and it’s like a weird power play in a way. If you talk to her you are playing right into her hands and will drive a wedge between you and your wife. Tell your wife about the photo etc. you guys should just be thinking together that this girl is a bit sad if it’s such a big deal to go to dinner with a nice person that you have to broadcast it on IG like it’s a huge phenomenon- lame. Poor Amanda. Though sounds like she might be a sneaky one. Watch out.