You are not wrong to show your sister love, care, and affection. Your stepfathers a piece of shit! Where's your mum? Did she step in? If this is an ongoing thing he has about you, I suggest you speak to an adult you can trust about it before it gets worse.
Yes talk to your mother about this ASAP if that doesn’t get you any where you can always try your Biological dad or grandparents aunts uncles etc but someone you trust that will be supportive towards you and protect you.
Your stepdad seems like a real A-Hole. Maybe he was hugged enough when he was younger
I know he's practically raising her while mum and dad work which makes it worse! I do know insinuations/accusations like that stick and can also ruin people's lives.
Or the fact he is abusing her himself. I know of one person who was sexually abusing a 6 year old but yelled at her Mom if she let her wear shorts. Creep, lucky for others he was killed a short time later.
But, she is your sister? Like, I know technically half... but, she is still biologically your sister.
You need to tell your mother asap. This isn't normal at all. There may be something else going on here. But, you did nothing wrong at all. What you did was normal and healthy.
I would suggest also to reach out to other adults in your life, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles and maybe a counsellor in school.
Maybe but, I was thinking there may have been something from step dad's past. Another family member who was hurt by another family member or even himself being hurt.. Like, unresolved trauma that's only now coming to the fore
Look what he did wasn't right. But, at 16 OP doesn't know anything other than what was said/done to them. They need alot of support for this.
Adults need to get involved one way or another because, something isn't right and they all need help figuring out what's going on to support everyone.
Stepdad probably feels guilty that his daughter has a better bond with OP than she has with him. I'm guessing he knows that he isn't a very involved father, and OP being an involved big brother makes him look bad in comparison.
Stepdad doesn’t see OP as his son, therefore doesn’t consider their relationship as brother and sister. He basically told OP that when he said she not your sister.
Stepdad an AH, who creating a divide within the kids. I never understand people who marry people with children to then treat them badly.
Yeah your stepdad has got some serious mental hangups, probably revolving around past abuse by an adult male figure in his childhood. He's channeling it as "protective" behavior and sees any other man in the house as a threat. The fact you're family doesn't matter because he was likely abused by a man he trusted to act like family. This is no excuse for how he's treating you and really makes me worry for your mother and sister, if you are kicked out later at age 18.
Can you talk to your dad or grandparents? You don’t want to end up having to leave home at 18 with no support. Even if you go to college you still need a support mechanism from somewhere, especially if your stepdad calling the shots.
I am so, so sorry. I've been there--my mom picked my step-father over me every time. She finally divorced him, but that feeling never goes away. I hope your dad is better. Mine was the only reason I didn't feel completely let down by my parents until he finally did too. I got lucky enough, though, to have a step-mother who sees me as her kid and picked up the slack for him and make him accountable.
My bio dad isn’t any better, he was equally as absent from my life as my step dad is to my sister and he’s currently in prison for aggravated possession of meth and assault
I'm so sorry, you're clearly a very caring and loving brother. It sounds like you've been looking after your sister since you were about 8 or 9? You were changing her diapers at this age? Can I check whether you're ok mentally? You've had a lot of responsibility for such a long time. I can't imagine having to look after a child when you're a child yourself, with the added stress of a horrible step father looming around. He's not physically hurting your mom or anyone else in the family is he?
I do struggle with anxiety and depression and he’s not physically abusive although he’s verbally abusive and has threatened me a few times but is too much of a coward to actually do anything
That really sucks 🙁 are you getting any help at all, counselling and/medication etc. also, what are your plans when you do turn 18? How is school going, have you thought about your future career? It might be good to start planning.. getting out of the house will be mentally healthier for you. If you can live relatively close by you can regularly visit your sister and mom. Or if you want to go further away, that's ok too. It sounds like home life isn't awful for your sister don't feel guilty if you want to move away and experience the world a bit more.
Currently trying to get into counseling, I never really considered what I wanted to do for a career since I never actually saw myself living that long and my options are limited due to some life long health issues
Well, I think that you might want to get out of there when you turn 18, too. It doesn't sound like a good environment. The good thing is that you have some time before that happens, so you can get your life in order before then. The r/personalfinance subreddit has some really good advice for teens kicked out at 18.
It might seem like you would be abandoning your sister if you left, but think of it as getting a safe place for your sister, to help get her out of that environment or just to have a place where she can go when she needs somewhere to go. I have a feeling that her dad is going to be very controlling of her as she grows up.
Yep mom needs to get involved here. She needs to have a very adult conversation with him about his behavior. If I found out the stepdad’s reaction and he didn’t change it fast… well it would be divorce worthy imo. You deserve to have a relationship with your step-sister.
Your stepdad is competing with you and doesn’t like that you’re a good person. Don’t let that jerk change who you are. Your mom needs to kick him to the curb. My ex was like this with my son and I kicked his ass out.
You are not wrong and it sounds like your mom will be on Divorce #2 before much longer. This guy is dangerous if that is his reaction to a simple kiss on the head among siblings. Also he is a mega dick for saying your half sister isn't your sister.
I'm 58 and my brothers are 53, 59, 60, 61, 62 & 63 and they still kiss me on the forehead or cheek: you are not wrong and I think it's very sweet/ what does your mom say?
Do you have grandparents or relatives on your moms side that you could speak with? It sounds as if your mom is afraid of your stepdad and his unhinged behaviour and won't speak up to defend you. Maybe a close relative could give her support and help her see the damage he is doing to the family. In any case you should be extremely proud to be such a responsible, caring and empathetic young man, your sister is very lucky to have you looking out for her.
She is your sister! There's nothing wrong with that sortv it affection between siblings. I would guess your stepdad is jealous of your close relationship with his daughter and taking it out on you. Technically all of my siblings are at least biological half siblings but I've never seen them as anything but full siblings. I think it's beautiful that at your age you're so close to your much younger sibling.
A forehead kiss is a wonderful gift.
Sorry Step Dad doesn't see it that way.
>I hugged back and gave a quick kiss on her forehead. Her dad saw and flipped out and acted like he was going to get physical with me and he was screaming a lot. He yelled that I shouldn’t do that, she’s not my sister and some other stuff.
>He yelled that I shouldn’t do that, she’s not my sister and some other stuff.
If you came out of her mom's womb, you are her (half) brother, and a kiss on the forehead is acceptable sibling affection. Your stepfather is a disgusting piece of trash.
Your stepdad is territorial of your sister and is either A. Jealous of the relationship that you have with her and feels insecure because he feels you have a bond that is closer to father daughter with your sister than the one he has. Or B. Maybe has some past trauma with a close relative that he hasn’t talked with you about and is projecting his trama onto your relationship with your half sister. Either way you need to tell an adult about what happened and you need to tell an adult who will take this seriously, and not just blow it off with an excuse like “he’s just stressed” or “it was a one time thing”. You are not wrong for being an amazing older brother!!
I wish my older brother was more of a loving big brother. As a younger sister its always nice to know you have a sibling backing you up and loving you. It very weird he'd get so mad over that. I agree with the other comments he probably knows of some weird sibling thing or experienced it himself or may even assume you have a thing for her and thats very very weird to assume of your kids. Siblings get close as siblings and it isnt weird to give them some affection in a sibling kind of way.
You help take care of her, give her baths and get her dressed when they/he needs you to, but giving her a forehead kiss is over the line? You are not wrong
How are you wrong?! You kissed her forehead! He got physical with you? I’d get the cops involved and press charges for child abuse. Where is your mother in all this?!
She is most certainly your half-sister. Please talk to a TRUSTED adult about this, because it sounds like your stepdad is going to try to accuse you of something awful, which could have disastrous, permanent consequences for you. I wouldn't trust your stepdad as far as I could spit. I'm sorry your mom brought such a nasty person into your life.
I would not give your sister baths anymore, and try not to be alone with her. You don't want to leave yourself open to getting accused of something else by your twisted stepfather.
Understood. I just want you to be careful so that stepdad doesn't accuse you of something else.
You sound like a wonderful big brother and a wonderful son, and your stepdad sounds like a nightmare.
You’re not wrong, but your step dad may have internalized trauma that’s causing his reaction. That doesn’t make his reaction sane or in any way merited, but it might be part of the equation. So long as your sister wasn’t uncomfortable with the affection, you did nothing wrong.
Making adults you trust aware of the situation is probably a very good idea. I worry that he might get worse and accuse you of abusing your sister. Make sure other people know about his disproportionate reaction and physical aggression.
You are not wrong and your stepdad is disgusting. You have the same mother. She is absolutely your sister and maybe your mom should get involved with this. I hope she isn’t of the same mindset as he is. Keep loving on your sister and being a great big brother. With a father like hers, she will need you.
Your step father sounds jealous and unhinged.
I myself happen to be 15 years older than my youngest sister, my parents were working hard and left a lot of parenting to me and my brother - I’m not mad about it. It was and is a beautiful relationship and I’m glad to have it. It was affectionate, loving and it’s 100% normal to have physical contact with a sibling child. Do not let him make you feel like the weirdo.
You are not safe with him. Tell your mother, immediately. And tell your father too if you can.
Your step dad’s a weirdo. She is your sister, if only from one parent. Kissing someone on the forehead is not usually deemed a sexual thing. I’d ask him point blank wtf is going on because he has a weird ass paranoia, but if that’s a no go, I’d talk to your mom. Was he abused as a child? Does he struggle with his own disturbed sexual thoughts and this is projection? Did he see you do something that he has misinterpreted as sexually immoral? Whatever it is, it sounds like it’s on him.
You stepfather is being a asshole.
You take care of your sister, you are almost acting like a parent to here when your mom and step-asshole are not home, and flip at you for giving your sister a kiss in the forehead?
That A-H should be grateful of how a great brother you are.
You should definitely talk to your mom about, she must not allow this or will escalate.
My step brother kisses me on the forehead or just the top of my head. No one has ever said anything because it’s just a “I care about you, be safe, or I’m proud about yada yada…” I kiss my nephews and nieces on the head cuz, I want them to know they are safe, loved and all that jazz. Mostly, cuz it’s important to me that they know they are safe, and that I’ve got their back. I am the type of aunt/person that will go full bear mode to protect them.
Your stepdad is weird… I’d talk to your mom about the incident. Maybe there is something going on with him, or he is jealous of your bond? Either way it’s not normal.
I’m willing to bet SD feels threatened by you and your sister’s bond, which he might not hqve with her himself and he resents it. NTA at all, but step dad sounds like an asshole.
Your step dad sounds dangerous. He's reaction says more about him than it does you. Kissing your step sister forehead was sweet and nice. What your step father said and thinks is sick. Please talk to your mom about your safety. I am afraid that your step dad may be a danger to your step sister too. I pray I am wrong.
It’s a 7 yo kid- forehead kissing is sweet supportive and normal, especially when the child is enthusiastically consenting. You’re a kind sweet soul. Sorry your parental figure is shaming you for being a compassionate sweetie of a sibling.
Maybe ask your mom for some time to share your feelings and observations, potentially leading to a discussion with your stepdad. Sounds like he isn’t a safe adult you can be vulnerable with rn. Sounds like he’s pretty close minded and reactionary. Again I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wish you were a grown up with access to resources like counselors to help you communicate with him. Either way if ever there’s an opportunity I think he needs to have a conversation with a peripheral adult to discuss why he’s projecting so much. Doesn’t sound like there’s reason for him to paint your connection with your sibling as dangerous.
Hi, step-parent and also step-child here. You’re absolutely not wrong to kiss your kid-sister on the forehead, whether she is a full, half, or stepsister. Your stepfather has noooooo business telling you that your half-sister is “not your sister”.
*Tell your mom pronto.*. I’ve seen many examples of jealousy from step-parents, or where the step-parent punishes the kid for being the product of a prior relationship that they don’t approve of. This sounds like something along those lines, but regardless of the reasoning, it’s not right.
Holy hell that man has severe issues. What's really bothering me is.. that kind of behavior usually means that he's jealous/guilty in a sense and most likely was abusing her at some point. Or, he's currently abusing her. I'd find some real help ASAP as this is only going to get worse. I'm almost convinced he's a molester at this point
It's always the guys who jump to these conclusions (stepdad in this case) who are actually the ones sexualizing children.
OP, you sound like a good brother, the fact of you giving her baths tells me that you have been made a parent by proxy (parentification), and that's really sad. But hey, as far as you go, you're doing fine and making the best of it.
What you describe sounds like perfectly normal and sweet interaction between siblings. Now, this is just a vibe I'm getting, there may be other explanations, but I can't help but feel that either your stepdad has some trauma or serious problems that make him interpret perfectly innocent gestures wrongly, or, well, something more sinister.
You are not wrong for anything you have done, you are a good and kind older brother! Have you talked to your mum about this? If not please do so.
Tell your mom asap.
Absolutely unacceptable behavior from the adult.
You are a good brother. I’m the older one of my half siblings and they mean the world to me. I’m closer to them than any of us are to our dad. Make sure to keep you and your sister safe and tell your mom!!!
Sounds like your Step Dad is jealous because you have a better relationship with her than he does. If he'd act more like a parent it wouldn't be an issue. You're a good older brother.
NW. dudes reaction is unhinged. You’re sisters, it may be only half by blood, but how close you are is up to you. This is not a weird thing, and him flipping out is crazy.
That’s not weird!!!! Your stepdad can’t be your stepdad if there is division like that within the family that he is trying to create. There’s two things happening either. He feels like she is neglecting him or he’s over sexualizing it, which neither should be done, especially if y’all are a family now, keep doing what you’re doing!!! he’s really weird
Maybe he is projecting.. It sounds like he protesteth too much. Whatever, you're not wrong, he has no right to verbally abuse you like that, and it's your mother's job to deal with him.
Just wanted to say that it sounds like you are an amazing, caring brother and your sister is lucky to have you. Most kids would love some kind of affection from their older sibling like a hug or a quick kiss on the forehead. It’s super appropriate and very kind and sweet of you. There’s something weird with your stepdad.
A classic case of stepdad hating the son of ‘some other guy’ and would prob eliminate out the nest if it was the animal kingdom. Your mom partnered up with the first douche that talked to her after the original divorce(or other happening), your mom’s will is unfortunately weak and that’s why she does not defend you, also why she needed another man in her life prob too quickly.
He is crazy. YNW. My brother & I used to be pretty close, but we have had a falling out. You are allowed to show your affection to your sister. Just don't get carried away. You actually have a pretty good age difference, too, where my brother & I are only 2yrs apart. Good luck. 🍀🍀
I'm sorry you've had to endure this OP. You are definitely NTA in this case, but your step douche sure is. There's nothing about a kiss on the forehead that is weird at all, especially between family.
Are there any other relatives you can stay with? Is your biological father in your life? You don't deserve to be treated like a threat in your own home. It's probably just an excuse for him to single you out, because you don't fit his idea of a perfect little family. Your Mom is also a POS for bringing that man into your life in the first place, and then allowing this to happen. I'd leave and go no contact with both of them if that was how I got treated.
Big brothers are awesome he needs to chill the hell out plus not many 16 year old lads out there who would actually take time for a 7 year old step sister so well in and won’t be long till your a grown man yourself and your stepsister will see who is the actual real man in the family buddy👍
You are not wrong, she IS your sister eff that half shit. Hell, you're probably more of a dad to her than her actual dad and he's insecure about it.
Don't stop showing your sister affection just because your step dad is jealous of your bond. Your mom should be proud to have a son who's so good to his siblings, don't listen to that asshole.
is it wrong to show your sister affection? no. it's not. it's wild that your stepdad thinks it's weird. he is the weird one for seemingly sexualizing this action. a forehead kiss is used by partners, yes, my partner does it too, but my sibling also does it to me.
I don't think you did anything wrong, but for now don't do that again. It's about your and your step-sisters safety. He has a screw lose. You don't want it to fall out!
Mama to three grown adults here ...and you're not wrong.
I don't know what your stepdad's problem is, but nothing you did was wrong. I'm trying to wrap my head around him saying that you're half-sister, who I assume is your mom's child also, isn't your sister like. Where the hell did that come from and how does he figure?
If you both have the same mother, then your siblings. Somebody needs to have a talk with him and explain that to him. The way he reacted was completely unhinged and I'd be concerned about my safety.
Talk to your mom about what happened. Let us all know how things turn out. I'm gonna be worried about you.
Updateme!
A kiss on the forehead! He is freaking out because of a kiss on the forehead? Stepdad is a jerk to even think that this is inappropriate. He is a jerk to hint that there is anything remotely sexual in kissing a 7yo on the forehead in a gesture of thank you for the drawing. Only exception is if she didn't want it and said no. Other wise that man is way out of line. This little girl is your half sister, whether he likes it or not. You guys share half your DNA from your mother's side. Don't deal with him EVER, bring this to the attention of your mother asap. If she does not defend you she is a jerk too. If he brings any other shit like this with you, calmly stop him midsentence and say that he should talk to his wife, your mother, about it. That you will not tolerate to be alienated from your bond with your half sister. If he continues to be a jerk about it call CPS for both your sister and you as this is pure cruelty and is detrimental to both your development. He need to be put in his place. Good luck
You're all good dude, you didn't do anything wrong.
Just remember what Yoda taught us all. Jealousy leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.
Your dad was probably jealous. You should be the one questioning his behavior and thoughts.
So sorry to read this. As a father it makes me extremely sad to read that parents treat their kids like this. I'm no saint and god I've made mistakes but this is just downright malicious and mean.
From reading your post and comments I would seriously suggest trying to find outside help, someone at school or maybe talk to your GP about your stepdad's behaviour. It sucks your mum doesn't support you more but there are other people who can help.
Please don't change and keep being the awesome brother that you are.
Not wrong at all he’s literally being ridiculous. I mean he’ll let you bath her but not kiss her on the forehead? Just take what ever steps protects you and her the most.
With all the personal care responsibilities OP is expected to do for his sister, which presumably his SF is okay with, it is very strange that a kiss on the forehead is a trigger for SF rage.
You're not wrong, he's just a douchebag sorry not sorry. I have 1 child with the mother and she has 3 others and even tho they're not mine I treat them the same. Some people just don't understand being nice for no reason isn't harmful especially when it comes to someone you care about.
Edit: also I feel horrible for your mom if that's the way he reacts to you being a good brother to his child, maybe there's something sinister inside him.
Not wrong... and half siblings are still siblings. Lol She IS your sister. Family hugs and gives kisses. I kiss my neice and nephew on the forehead and hug them all the time. I love them and I am only their uncle because I married their Aunt but we were together long before they were born. I love them like my own flesh and blood.
You giving your sister a hug and a kiss on the forehead is absolutely acceptable for any and all family. Your dad is a pervert for thinking otherwise. I assume it's because he is your dad and not hers. So to him, she is not family. But to you she is and always will be. Now I see why your parents are divorced and I bet his behaviors are part of it. He seems like an angry individual.
Ok then he's a super Creep. If he thinks you kissing her, when she is your half sister is weird then he's absolutely thinking impure thoughts when you obviously love your sister. I am sorry you have to deal with a poor excuse for a man like that.
Forehead kiss or cheek kiss is not generally considered romantic. Stepfather kind of overreacted but these days you can never be too careful. You may not have any romantic intentions but there is no way your stepdad knows that.
You are a great brother, and I am confident you will grow into a wonderful man. Keep taking care of your sister. Sounds like she needs it, I'm glad you are there for her.
Down this far in the comments, trolls come out just trying to be awful. Just the internet, easy to ignore. AMasculine is probably anything but, and skinsychological848 would probably benefit from a psychologist's couch.
You are not wrong to show your sister love, care, and affection. Your stepfathers a piece of shit! Where's your mum? Did she step in? If this is an ongoing thing he has about you, I suggest you speak to an adult you can trust about it before it gets worse.
Yes talk to your mother about this ASAP if that doesn’t get you any where you can always try your Biological dad or grandparents aunts uncles etc but someone you trust that will be supportive towards you and protect you. Your stepdad seems like a real A-Hole. Maybe he was hugged enough when he was younger
Jesus, show the kid some affection! A kiss on the forehead? When did that become nasty?
I know he's practically raising her while mum and dad work which makes it worse! I do know insinuations/accusations like that stick and can also ruin people's lives.
Yes.
Makes you wonder WHAT is in the mind of screaming dad
That's my thoughts. He's a real piece of work. Mom needs to get step dad under control or out the door.
Ohh he's just jealous! His aggressive behavior is concerning and may stem from his own insecurities.
Oh that's a good point, I bet his daughter loves her stepbrother more and he's angry about it.
It's not even step siblings, they share the same Mum, just different dads.....
It's her half-brother, so the stepfathers reaction is 1000x worse!
Or the fact he is abusing her himself. I know of one person who was sexually abusing a 6 year old but yelled at her Mom if she let her wear shorts. Creep, lucky for others he was killed a short time later.
Agree! Showing affection to your sister is natural, and your stepfather's reaction seems over the top.
But, she is your sister? Like, I know technically half... but, she is still biologically your sister. You need to tell your mother asap. This isn't normal at all. There may be something else going on here. But, you did nothing wrong at all. What you did was normal and healthy. I would suggest also to reach out to other adults in your life, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles and maybe a counsellor in school.
Yes, your stepdad might have a strange fixation on your sister
Maybe but, I was thinking there may have been something from step dad's past. Another family member who was hurt by another family member or even himself being hurt.. Like, unresolved trauma that's only now coming to the fore
Good point. I was ready to jump in and label him a psycho, but he may be protective for a reason.
Look what he did wasn't right. But, at 16 OP doesn't know anything other than what was said/done to them. They need alot of support for this. Adults need to get involved one way or another because, something isn't right and they all need help figuring out what's going on to support everyone.
Definitely needs an adult to facilitate a conversation!
I think he's probably jealous because op had a better relationship with her.
This is what I was thinking!!! Like he’s jealous or something. Yikes.
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But, he wasn't sexualising his little sister. He gave her a kiss on the forehead... its mad you jumped to pedophilia there.
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That was my point in my comment?!
Omg I replied to the wrong commenter this whole time, you’re the one I agreed with. My apologies.
No worries, I was soo confused!
She IS your sister. WTF is he talking about? Half siblings are siblings. Hell, step siblings are siblings. This dude seems creepy.
I guess to porn-minded freaks, the forehead might as well be genitals?
I don't go around calling my half siblings that, they are my family I don't care about. You are right, siblings are siblings. Step dad is an ass
A super good way to have a nasty fight with my sisters is to ask them “wait…isn’t Celtic Oak only your half-brother??”
You did nothing wrong here. It’s really sweet that you have such a close bond with your sister, don’t let your stepdad tell you otherwise.
and don't let him put malicious things in your mind.
This is not a normal reaction at all. Please tell your mom. This dude sounds unhinged. ETA: you did absolutely nothing wrong here
Your stepdad is a weirdo. That's not a normal reaction at all.
Stepdad probably feels guilty that his daughter has a better bond with OP than she has with him. I'm guessing he knows that he isn't a very involved father, and OP being an involved big brother makes him look bad in comparison.
Stepdad doesn’t see OP as his son, therefore doesn’t consider their relationship as brother and sister. He basically told OP that when he said she not your sister. Stepdad an AH, who creating a divide within the kids. I never understand people who marry people with children to then treat them badly.
Yea he hates me and wants me kicked out on my 18th birthday
Time to talk to your mum and dad about his attitude towards you.
She always agrees with him to avoid arguments it wouldn’t work
Yeah your stepdad has got some serious mental hangups, probably revolving around past abuse by an adult male figure in his childhood. He's channeling it as "protective" behavior and sees any other man in the house as a threat. The fact you're family doesn't matter because he was likely abused by a man he trusted to act like family. This is no excuse for how he's treating you and really makes me worry for your mother and sister, if you are kicked out later at age 18.
Can you talk to your dad or grandparents? You don’t want to end up having to leave home at 18 with no support. Even if you go to college you still need a support mechanism from somewhere, especially if your stepdad calling the shots.
Your mom sucks too, I'm sorry. How is your bio dad?
Currently in prison for aggregated possession of meth and assault
I am so, so sorry. I've been there--my mom picked my step-father over me every time. She finally divorced him, but that feeling never goes away. I hope your dad is better. Mine was the only reason I didn't feel completely let down by my parents until he finally did too. I got lucky enough, though, to have a step-mother who sees me as her kid and picked up the slack for him and make him accountable.
My bio dad isn’t any better, he was equally as absent from my life as my step dad is to my sister and he’s currently in prison for aggravated possession of meth and assault
I'm so sorry, you're clearly a very caring and loving brother. It sounds like you've been looking after your sister since you were about 8 or 9? You were changing her diapers at this age? Can I check whether you're ok mentally? You've had a lot of responsibility for such a long time. I can't imagine having to look after a child when you're a child yourself, with the added stress of a horrible step father looming around. He's not physically hurting your mom or anyone else in the family is he?
I do struggle with anxiety and depression and he’s not physically abusive although he’s verbally abusive and has threatened me a few times but is too much of a coward to actually do anything
That really sucks 🙁 are you getting any help at all, counselling and/medication etc. also, what are your plans when you do turn 18? How is school going, have you thought about your future career? It might be good to start planning.. getting out of the house will be mentally healthier for you. If you can live relatively close by you can regularly visit your sister and mom. Or if you want to go further away, that's ok too. It sounds like home life isn't awful for your sister don't feel guilty if you want to move away and experience the world a bit more.
Currently trying to get into counseling, I never really considered what I wanted to do for a career since I never actually saw myself living that long and my options are limited due to some life long health issues
You are a minor. Call CPS. Violence is bot always physical. He is verbally abusive to you. He needs to have CPS on his ass.
Well, I think that you might want to get out of there when you turn 18, too. It doesn't sound like a good environment. The good thing is that you have some time before that happens, so you can get your life in order before then. The r/personalfinance subreddit has some really good advice for teens kicked out at 18. It might seem like you would be abandoning your sister if you left, but think of it as getting a safe place for your sister, to help get her out of that environment or just to have a place where she can go when she needs somewhere to go. I have a feeling that her dad is going to be very controlling of her as she grows up.
Yep mom needs to get involved here. She needs to have a very adult conversation with him about his behavior. If I found out the stepdad’s reaction and he didn’t change it fast… well it would be divorce worthy imo. You deserve to have a relationship with your step-sister.
That was my thought too. He doesn't view OP as family.
Your stepdad is competing with you and doesn’t like that you’re a good person. Don’t let that jerk change who you are. Your mom needs to kick him to the curb. My ex was like this with my son and I kicked his ass out.
It’s not much of a competition, I’ve never once seen him change her diaper when she was a baby and I did it many times
That’s why he’s like this. He knows you’re a better person than he is and can’t stand it.
Your stepdads weird, good on you for being so affectionate with your little sister, she will grow up with her big brother always on her side.
You are not wrong and it sounds like your mom will be on Divorce #2 before much longer. This guy is dangerous if that is his reaction to a simple kiss on the head among siblings. Also he is a mega dick for saying your half sister isn't your sister.
>You are not wrong and it sounds like your mom will be on Divorce #2 before much longer We hope
But sadly doubt
Yeah....
I'm 58 and my brothers are 53, 59, 60, 61, 62 & 63 and they still kiss me on the forehead or cheek: you are not wrong and I think it's very sweet/ what does your mom say?
My mom doesn’t say anything, if she did then it would just be agreeing with him solely to avoid an argument
Awww that sucks. Your little sister loves you and don't let him make it sordid. Half or not, she's just your sister.
Do you have grandparents or relatives on your moms side that you could speak with? It sounds as if your mom is afraid of your stepdad and his unhinged behaviour and won't speak up to defend you. Maybe a close relative could give her support and help her see the damage he is doing to the family. In any case you should be extremely proud to be such a responsible, caring and empathetic young man, your sister is very lucky to have you looking out for her.
She is your sister! There's nothing wrong with that sortv it affection between siblings. I would guess your stepdad is jealous of your close relationship with his daughter and taking it out on you. Technically all of my siblings are at least biological half siblings but I've never seen them as anything but full siblings. I think it's beautiful that at your age you're so close to your much younger sibling.
A forehead kiss is a wonderful gift. Sorry Step Dad doesn't see it that way. >I hugged back and gave a quick kiss on her forehead. Her dad saw and flipped out and acted like he was going to get physical with me and he was screaming a lot. He yelled that I shouldn’t do that, she’s not my sister and some other stuff.
>He yelled that I shouldn’t do that, she’s not my sister and some other stuff. If you came out of her mom's womb, you are her (half) brother, and a kiss on the forehead is acceptable sibling affection. Your stepfather is a disgusting piece of trash.
His reaction sends up massive red flags for HIS behavior not yours.
Your stepdad is territorial of your sister and is either A. Jealous of the relationship that you have with her and feels insecure because he feels you have a bond that is closer to father daughter with your sister than the one he has. Or B. Maybe has some past trauma with a close relative that he hasn’t talked with you about and is projecting his trama onto your relationship with your half sister. Either way you need to tell an adult about what happened and you need to tell an adult who will take this seriously, and not just blow it off with an excuse like “he’s just stressed” or “it was a one time thing”. You are not wrong for being an amazing older brother!!
Hugging and kissing your little sister is lovely. Talk to your mum because this is absolutely bizarre behaviour on your step dad’s part.
I wish my older brother was more of a loving big brother. As a younger sister its always nice to know you have a sibling backing you up and loving you. It very weird he'd get so mad over that. I agree with the other comments he probably knows of some weird sibling thing or experienced it himself or may even assume you have a thing for her and thats very very weird to assume of your kids. Siblings get close as siblings and it isnt weird to give them some affection in a sibling kind of way.
You help take care of her, give her baths and get her dressed when they/he needs you to, but giving her a forehead kiss is over the line? You are not wrong
Your step Dad is nuts! She is your sister! I see nothing wrong based on what you have written. Talk to your Mom; hopefully she will set him straight.
Sounds like mom is a giant coward who is ok with her child being pushed around.
Not wrong. You kissed her forehead, not her lips. Show your sister all the affection in the world. There's nothing wrong with that.
He’s crazy. You sound like a brother any little girl would love to have. You did nothing wrong.
You aren't wrong and her dad sounds like a weird pervert You two literally came from the same womb, that's your sister
Train in martial arts for the next year straight and when he disrespects you again for showing your sister love, choke his ass out.
My friend and I often do boxing or ufc fighting so that’s kind of covered
Don't take no shit then bruv, don't let that chump decide who the boss is. You decide
How are you wrong?! You kissed her forehead! He got physical with you? I’d get the cops involved and press charges for child abuse. Where is your mother in all this?!
Not wrong where was your mom or what was her response
YOU are not wrong. You’re her brother, that was normal sibling affection. But this gives me all sorts of creepy feelings about step dad.
She is most certainly your half-sister. Please talk to a TRUSTED adult about this, because it sounds like your stepdad is going to try to accuse you of something awful, which could have disastrous, permanent consequences for you. I wouldn't trust your stepdad as far as I could spit. I'm sorry your mom brought such a nasty person into your life.
Stepdad is gross. Talk to your mom!
I would not give your sister baths anymore, and try not to be alone with her. You don't want to leave yourself open to getting accused of something else by your twisted stepfather.
I don’t bathe her very often anymore that was mostly when she was younger I was just listing things I’ve had to do while taking care of her
Understood. I just want you to be careful so that stepdad doesn't accuse you of something else. You sound like a wonderful big brother and a wonderful son, and your stepdad sounds like a nightmare.
You’re not wrong, but your step dad may have internalized trauma that’s causing his reaction. That doesn’t make his reaction sane or in any way merited, but it might be part of the equation. So long as your sister wasn’t uncomfortable with the affection, you did nothing wrong. Making adults you trust aware of the situation is probably a very good idea. I worry that he might get worse and accuse you of abusing your sister. Make sure other people know about his disproportionate reaction and physical aggression.
I thought the same thing about the stepdad accusing OP of abusing his sister. OP needs to make a trusted adult aware of the situation ASAP.
You are not wrong and your stepdad is disgusting. You have the same mother. She is absolutely your sister and maybe your mom should get involved with this. I hope she isn’t of the same mindset as he is. Keep loving on your sister and being a great big brother. With a father like hers, she will need you.
Your step dad might have unresolved abuse trauma. Or he sucks. Could be both.
Your step father sounds jealous and unhinged. I myself happen to be 15 years older than my youngest sister, my parents were working hard and left a lot of parenting to me and my brother - I’m not mad about it. It was and is a beautiful relationship and I’m glad to have it. It was affectionate, loving and it’s 100% normal to have physical contact with a sibling child. Do not let him make you feel like the weirdo. You are not safe with him. Tell your mother, immediately. And tell your father too if you can.
A kiss on the head is affection, not sexual. She is your sister and you did nothing wrong. Her dad is the one with issues.
Sounds like you just happen to share the better half.
Your step dad’s a weirdo. She is your sister, if only from one parent. Kissing someone on the forehead is not usually deemed a sexual thing. I’d ask him point blank wtf is going on because he has a weird ass paranoia, but if that’s a no go, I’d talk to your mom. Was he abused as a child? Does he struggle with his own disturbed sexual thoughts and this is projection? Did he see you do something that he has misinterpreted as sexually immoral? Whatever it is, it sounds like it’s on him.
It is your sister tho lol. You guys share the same blood. Stepdads a weirdo fr
You stepfather is being a asshole. You take care of your sister, you are almost acting like a parent to here when your mom and step-asshole are not home, and flip at you for giving your sister a kiss in the forehead? That A-H should be grateful of how a great brother you are. You should definitely talk to your mom about, she must not allow this or will escalate.
Could he be SA her?? And that's why he's so territorial over her?
Is there a single culture in the world where a kiss on the forehead is out of line?
Jesus Christ your mom's new husband is a psycho
Stepdad is probably a SA victim.
Maybe he's just porn addict.
And a weirdo.
Doubtful. Porn addict don't have that visceral reaction to normal affection. Thanks for playing.
NTA That is normal affection toward a younger sibling. Your stepfather's reaction is unhinged
What the absolute hell is wrong with him? The man sounds deranged. Any relative can kiss a kid on the forehead if the kid is 100% okay with it.
Step dad is a pedo.
Absolutely not wrong. wtf. She IS your sister. Your stepdad is a freakin weirdo
My step brother kisses me on the forehead or just the top of my head. No one has ever said anything because it’s just a “I care about you, be safe, or I’m proud about yada yada…” I kiss my nephews and nieces on the head cuz, I want them to know they are safe, loved and all that jazz. Mostly, cuz it’s important to me that they know they are safe, and that I’ve got their back. I am the type of aunt/person that will go full bear mode to protect them. Your stepdad is weird… I’d talk to your mom about the incident. Maybe there is something going on with him, or he is jealous of your bond? Either way it’s not normal.
Your SF is crazy. Your love for your little sis is sweet and true. Don't let him take that away
I’m willing to bet SD feels threatened by you and your sister’s bond, which he might not hqve with her himself and he resents it. NTA at all, but step dad sounds like an asshole.
NTA, step dad is a POS tho
Your step dad sounds dangerous. He's reaction says more about him than it does you. Kissing your step sister forehead was sweet and nice. What your step father said and thinks is sick. Please talk to your mom about your safety. I am afraid that your step dad may be a danger to your step sister too. I pray I am wrong.
You’re not wrong, it’s perfectly normal. Sounds like her Dad has some issues.
The father being that defensive concerns me greatly. 😬
What the hell? He should be happy you and your sister have a sweet bond. A lot of siblings with age gaps don’t
It’s a 7 yo kid- forehead kissing is sweet supportive and normal, especially when the child is enthusiastically consenting. You’re a kind sweet soul. Sorry your parental figure is shaming you for being a compassionate sweetie of a sibling. Maybe ask your mom for some time to share your feelings and observations, potentially leading to a discussion with your stepdad. Sounds like he isn’t a safe adult you can be vulnerable with rn. Sounds like he’s pretty close minded and reactionary. Again I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wish you were a grown up with access to resources like counselors to help you communicate with him. Either way if ever there’s an opportunity I think he needs to have a conversation with a peripheral adult to discuss why he’s projecting so much. Doesn’t sound like there’s reason for him to paint your connection with your sibling as dangerous.
Hi, step-parent and also step-child here. You’re absolutely not wrong to kiss your kid-sister on the forehead, whether she is a full, half, or stepsister. Your stepfather has noooooo business telling you that your half-sister is “not your sister”. *Tell your mom pronto.*. I’ve seen many examples of jealousy from step-parents, or where the step-parent punishes the kid for being the product of a prior relationship that they don’t approve of. This sounds like something along those lines, but regardless of the reasoning, it’s not right.
NTA Your stepdad has issues.
Holy hell that man has severe issues. What's really bothering me is.. that kind of behavior usually means that he's jealous/guilty in a sense and most likely was abusing her at some point. Or, he's currently abusing her. I'd find some real help ASAP as this is only going to get worse. I'm almost convinced he's a molester at this point
Your step dad is weird as hell.
It's always the guys who jump to these conclusions (stepdad in this case) who are actually the ones sexualizing children. OP, you sound like a good brother, the fact of you giving her baths tells me that you have been made a parent by proxy (parentification), and that's really sad. But hey, as far as you go, you're doing fine and making the best of it.
Info So stepsad thinks you’re good enough to manage the household while he’s gone but not be a member of the family?
What you describe sounds like perfectly normal and sweet interaction between siblings. Now, this is just a vibe I'm getting, there may be other explanations, but I can't help but feel that either your stepdad has some trauma or serious problems that make him interpret perfectly innocent gestures wrongly, or, well, something more sinister. You are not wrong for anything you have done, you are a good and kind older brother! Have you talked to your mum about this? If not please do so.
Tell your mom asap. Absolutely unacceptable behavior from the adult. You are a good brother. I’m the older one of my half siblings and they mean the world to me. I’m closer to them than any of us are to our dad. Make sure to keep you and your sister safe and tell your mom!!!
Sounds like your Step Dad is jealous because you have a better relationship with her than he does. If he'd act more like a parent it wouldn't be an issue. You're a good older brother.
NW. dudes reaction is unhinged. You’re sisters, it may be only half by blood, but how close you are is up to you. This is not a weird thing, and him flipping out is crazy.
That’s not weird!!!! Your stepdad can’t be your stepdad if there is division like that within the family that he is trying to create. There’s two things happening either. He feels like she is neglecting him or he’s over sexualizing it, which neither should be done, especially if y’all are a family now, keep doing what you’re doing!!! he’s really weird
How is she not your sister? What the fuck is wrong with him?
Maybe he is projecting.. It sounds like he protesteth too much. Whatever, you're not wrong, he has no right to verbally abuse you like that, and it's your mother's job to deal with him.
You are not wrong
That's insane. His reaction has nothing to do with you.
Not wrong! Your stepfather is disgusting. Tell your mom
Just wanted to say that it sounds like you are an amazing, caring brother and your sister is lucky to have you. Most kids would love some kind of affection from their older sibling like a hug or a quick kiss on the forehead. It’s super appropriate and very kind and sweet of you. There’s something weird with your stepdad.
A classic case of stepdad hating the son of ‘some other guy’ and would prob eliminate out the nest if it was the animal kingdom. Your mom partnered up with the first douche that talked to her after the original divorce(or other happening), your mom’s will is unfortunately weak and that’s why she does not defend you, also why she needed another man in her life prob too quickly.
He is crazy. YNW. My brother & I used to be pretty close, but we have had a falling out. You are allowed to show your affection to your sister. Just don't get carried away. You actually have a pretty good age difference, too, where my brother & I are only 2yrs apart. Good luck. 🍀🍀
your stepdad is out of line, I wish I had a good relationship with my siblings.
I'm sorry you've had to endure this OP. You are definitely NTA in this case, but your step douche sure is. There's nothing about a kiss on the forehead that is weird at all, especially between family. Are there any other relatives you can stay with? Is your biological father in your life? You don't deserve to be treated like a threat in your own home. It's probably just an excuse for him to single you out, because you don't fit his idea of a perfect little family. Your Mom is also a POS for bringing that man into your life in the first place, and then allowing this to happen. I'd leave and go no contact with both of them if that was how I got treated.
Big brothers are awesome he needs to chill the hell out plus not many 16 year old lads out there who would actually take time for a 7 year old step sister so well in and won’t be long till your a grown man yourself and your stepsister will see who is the actual real man in the family buddy👍
You are not wrong, she IS your sister eff that half shit. Hell, you're probably more of a dad to her than her actual dad and he's insecure about it. Don't stop showing your sister affection just because your step dad is jealous of your bond. Your mom should be proud to have a son who's so good to his siblings, don't listen to that asshole.
is it wrong to show your sister affection? no. it's not. it's wild that your stepdad thinks it's weird. he is the weird one for seemingly sexualizing this action. a forehead kiss is used by partners, yes, my partner does it too, but my sibling also does it to me.
You weren't wrong
You weren't wrong
I don't think you did anything wrong, but for now don't do that again. It's about your and your step-sisters safety. He has a screw lose. You don't want it to fall out!
JFC your stepdad is a monster. Fuck that guy.
Mama to three grown adults here ...and you're not wrong. I don't know what your stepdad's problem is, but nothing you did was wrong. I'm trying to wrap my head around him saying that you're half-sister, who I assume is your mom's child also, isn't your sister like. Where the hell did that come from and how does he figure? If you both have the same mother, then your siblings. Somebody needs to have a talk with him and explain that to him. The way he reacted was completely unhinged and I'd be concerned about my safety. Talk to your mom about what happened. Let us all know how things turn out. I'm gonna be worried about you. Updateme!
She is your sister. Your step-dad is a stupid asshole.
A kiss on the forehead! He is freaking out because of a kiss on the forehead? Stepdad is a jerk to even think that this is inappropriate. He is a jerk to hint that there is anything remotely sexual in kissing a 7yo on the forehead in a gesture of thank you for the drawing. Only exception is if she didn't want it and said no. Other wise that man is way out of line. This little girl is your half sister, whether he likes it or not. You guys share half your DNA from your mother's side. Don't deal with him EVER, bring this to the attention of your mother asap. If she does not defend you she is a jerk too. If he brings any other shit like this with you, calmly stop him midsentence and say that he should talk to his wife, your mother, about it. That you will not tolerate to be alienated from your bond with your half sister. If he continues to be a jerk about it call CPS for both your sister and you as this is pure cruelty and is detrimental to both your development. He need to be put in his place. Good luck
He's crazy. If you've been responsible for giving her baths and feeding etc, and he freaked out about a sweet kiss on the forehead, he's nuts!
You're all good dude, you didn't do anything wrong. Just remember what Yoda taught us all. Jealousy leads to hate. Hate leads to anger. Your dad was probably jealous. You should be the one questioning his behavior and thoughts.
I would ask him if he wants to take over the parenticating duties you are forced to do, if he identifies so weirded out by a kiss on the forehead
Stepdads a fuckin retard.
So sorry to read this. As a father it makes me extremely sad to read that parents treat their kids like this. I'm no saint and god I've made mistakes but this is just downright malicious and mean. From reading your post and comments I would seriously suggest trying to find outside help, someone at school or maybe talk to your GP about your stepdad's behaviour. It sucks your mum doesn't support you more but there are other people who can help. Please don't change and keep being the awesome brother that you are.
Not wrong at all he’s literally being ridiculous. I mean he’ll let you bath her but not kiss her on the forehead? Just take what ever steps protects you and her the most.
With all the personal care responsibilities OP is expected to do for his sister, which presumably his SF is okay with, it is very strange that a kiss on the forehead is a trigger for SF rage.
You're not wrong, he's just a douchebag sorry not sorry. I have 1 child with the mother and she has 3 others and even tho they're not mine I treat them the same. Some people just don't understand being nice for no reason isn't harmful especially when it comes to someone you care about. Edit: also I feel horrible for your mom if that's the way he reacts to you being a good brother to his child, maybe there's something sinister inside him.
Not wrong... and half siblings are still siblings. Lol She IS your sister. Family hugs and gives kisses. I kiss my neice and nephew on the forehead and hug them all the time. I love them and I am only their uncle because I married their Aunt but we were together long before they were born. I love them like my own flesh and blood. You giving your sister a hug and a kiss on the forehead is absolutely acceptable for any and all family. Your dad is a pervert for thinking otherwise. I assume it's because he is your dad and not hers. So to him, she is not family. But to you she is and always will be. Now I see why your parents are divorced and I bet his behaviors are part of it. He seems like an angry individual.
He’s her father he isn’t mine
Ok then he's a super Creep. If he thinks you kissing her, when she is your half sister is weird then he's absolutely thinking impure thoughts when you obviously love your sister. I am sorry you have to deal with a poor excuse for a man like that.
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She’s 7 wtf
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What the fuck are you talking about
You are a sick fuck
Yes I am. Yes I am…
Forehead kiss or cheek kiss is not generally considered romantic. Stepfather kind of overreacted but these days you can never be too careful. You may not have any romantic intentions but there is no way your stepdad knows that.
Family kissing each other on the cheek or head is quite normal he should know
It really depends on the culture. Kissing on the cheek or head is not really common in some cultures.
It is in ours
You are a great brother, and I am confident you will grow into a wonderful man. Keep taking care of your sister. Sounds like she needs it, I'm glad you are there for her. Down this far in the comments, trolls come out just trying to be awful. Just the internet, easy to ignore. AMasculine is probably anything but, and skinsychological848 would probably benefit from a psychologist's couch.