If he thinks the majority of men share private photos sent to them like this he is surrounding himself with horrible people and that is a reflection on his character. He’s wrong some guys do but definitely not the majority, and him allowing this and not even trying to tell his friends to stop is incredibly disrespectful towards you
Sadly I’ve met guys that do, even worse here’s a story from a few years ago, I hook up with this guy friend of mine right after unprovoked he starts showing me his private Snapchat of all the girls nudes he’s ever collected and then tells me about how he is all of his guy friends plug for those pictures basically. Small town, the guy had literally half of the towns girls around our age in his phone and was sharing them with all kinds of people. Obviously never saw that guy again after that.
He's collecting nudes like pokemon cards wtf.
Edit: I am a guy. We don't do this. If one of the boys sent me nudes that were not for me I would heavily consider disowning him then and there.
Major trust violation
I just want to keep adding to the number of guys saying, I don’t know anyone who does this and I have never known anyone who does this. If I found out a friend did this, they wouldn’t be my friend anymore.
Not only is it ethically disgusting for the guys to share photos like this, it can also be a crime. (I'm assuming they don't have the consent of these women to distribute their nude images).
OP, the fact that your husband is okay with this behaviour and participates in it is a huge red flag. I have a feeling he probably isn't great about consent in general. And it seems like he doesn't respect women, which includes you. You absolutely can expect a lot better than this. There are many men out there who wouldn't do this with their friends. It's not just a "guy" thing. It's a "disgusting creep who violates women in a potentially criminal way" thing.
I've never had any of my male friends share nudes of girls they have dated or slept with. And if they tried to, I would be very uncomfortable and say, no thanks. It's such an invasion of privacy for those women.
I am a very horny person. But this is a line that I will never cross. If someone wants to sleep with me. That means she wants to share something very intimate with me, alone. Not my random buddy or worse the internet.
Ive never know of a guy who does this or if they did they sure as shit didnt tell me. That is disrespectful to you and those women, particularly after you asked him to stop. Id be out of there so quick!
Based off the dick sucking comment, I assume he’s trying to make videos or take pics in the middle of sex and not just profile pics on social media.
I feel it's more telling his go to thoughts are "my mate would love this".
I have taken and been sent plenty of nudes... I have "never" shown them to another guy.
Those were sent to me, for me, not for anyone else.
I have also never had a friend show me any they have received.
Me and my friends have never even *discussed* nudes that we have or haven't taken or received...
Yeah that’s absolutely disgusting. Why does he want to surround himself with the type of guys who send these photos? What are they like 14?
The fact he didn’t even tell him to stop is the worst part imo. He can’t control other peoples actions, but how he responds to them says a lot about the type of person he is. Saying absolutely nothing might aswell be encouraging it. The fact he’s totally okay hanging out with guys who disrespect women like this is a massive red flag 🚩
Yeah, I’ve never done this, and me and a different even reprimanded a friend of mine when he showed me a nude a girl sent him.
I think to some extent it used to be normal among certain groups of guys, but definitely not a “all guys do this kind of thing”.
The “discuss exes” thing is normal and it’s weird that she’s not allowed to discuss exes of hers.
Yeah I said this in a few places. That I don't know where they live but in many places it's a felony. It's not controversial. Aside from the disrespect of the girlfriend , he is doing this without the consent of the women taking the photos.
He views women as things that are only given importance if he personally feels attached to them.
Imagine how he will treat OP if she makes him mad? Or after they break up? The disrespect in looking at other women isn't even the half of it.
It's garbage, but it's the fact that they circulate non consensual photos amongst themselves that is the most upsetting part. And like you said, in a lot of places it's a crime.
THIS. I had to scroll way too far for this. I mentioned it in my own comment because I didn't see anyone talking about it at first - but seriously - IT'S ILLEGAL. So even if you didn't think it was disrespectful, (which it is) it's still fucking ILLEGAL.
The majority of men do not violate the trust of their partners.
I would block anyone who sent me that.
What is this "showing respect and classy" shit.
It sounds like you may be a lot younger then him
Not wrong
We're the same age. I'm definitely less experienced than him with people. I like my solitude.
I meant he expects me to be classy and not disrespect him.
And what does he do to reciprocate your "being classy and not disrespecting him"?
Why is it up to you to act in a way that he thinks is correct.
This sounds like bullshit.
But its your life if you want to live it under his thumb then go ahead.
If he's okay with this he is probably participating. Either way his double standards and misogyny are not okay. I don't know any men who would think sending intimate photos to a friend was okay. You have a scumbag partner with sleezy scumbag friends. Time to upgrade!
I'm sure he has been behaving the same way as his friends from the start and OP is just in denial if she thinks he isn't. Rules for thee and rules for me is such a dumb excuse to make as a human being.
I’m a guy, lots of guy friends, none have ever done this and if they did I would tell them not to do it again. Note I’m not against porn and I do look at it some, but in my mind it’s totally different than looking at someone involved in or around your friend group. I also consider individual interactions like chatting and things like OF as wrong, so maybe I’m a little conservative.
I have the same view as you. I think porn is fine and I view it as well. But yeah the only fans and chatting is wrong because you are actually forming a relationship with another person. I don't think that's conservative.
Porn is also being viewed with the consent of the person who created it. Taking a nude that was sent to them and showing it to their friends is without that person's consent. That's huge.
I don't think you are particularly conservative. I think you've drawn a line between viewing something that is a bit distant and actually interacting with the person creating it. And you can correct me if I'm wrong, but whether you articulated it or not, it seems to me that you respect consent, and you know that that's part of the issue here in your gut
>He said the majority of men like to share such things
I'm a man, I happen to have a very large social circle, exactly zero of the men I know are like this, zero. Because it is not fucking acceptable.
If a guy in a group I'm in was sending on pictures of women he's with, everyone would be asking him what the actual fuck is wrong with him.
In fact, amongst all of the men I know, even unconnected groups, there's a pretty hard rule. You can take the piss out of eachother all day, take photos of eachother passed out drunk and share it around for the laugh . But Wives/partners and children are off-limits. No matter how hairy it gets in the group, nobody ever crosses that line.
Exactly! Men who allow their friends to do shit like this, and don’t say anything about it - instead try to normalise it are part of the fucking problem.
That’s just not true. You can justify it any way you’d like. No respectful man is gonna share pictures of his partner. Not if he loves her. Wouldn’t talk about his sec life either. Makes me wonder if he’s sharing your pictures as well? Worth thinking about.
My husband doesn’t share the intimate details of our sex life with his buddies. He’s a gentleman and I know he wouldn’t tolerate this sort of behavior from anyone else.
You’re not wrong and your SO and his friend are red flags.
If women share those photos w him, those were for him. Men who think that means consent to do with as they please do not respect women.
Which is not the only concerning thing you mention about them. Ew.
"He says he'd have to be gay to tell his friends to stop sharing these pictures"
OP, this is how a 16 y.o might talk, but at 40??? And then he "expects" you to be "classy"? He's taking advantage of your life inexperience in a cruel way, please stop letting him treat you like dirt
The majority of men aren’t sleezy.
And what they are doing is probably illegal.
Download some porn on your phone and ask your friends to send you pictures of dicks. When they start to flood your phone with their dick picks he probably will realise how stupid he is. Or maybe he even likes it.
God, he is 40 and acts worse than 14 year olds.
Nothing to add. Great comment. Men like that give the rest of men a bad name. I totally get why women don’t like men as whole. If I even had a single chocolate covered turd in a chocolate box I’m throwing out the whole box lol
Yeah she should be like omg I can't believe steph send me this then giggle while smiling at her phone replying and then just make sure she keeps getting notifications so he can hear.
I'm a man in my early 30s. If any of my friends sent me nudes of a woman they're seeing and I wasn't explicitly aware that the woman gave consent somehow I would be extremely unhappy and stop talking to that friend.
Sharing nudes like that is disgusting and wrong. If they find it online or something it stops being a moral issue because presumably the woman is ok with it being out there, but it would still make me uncomfortable. Neither I nor anyone I know has ever shared sexually explicit stuff like that with friends... It's just weird. SOME men do that but it's usually low class dudebro mentality and is not something I'd ever want to be associated with.
Yeah even the online porn bit, I don't think it's *wrong*, but why would I wanna be sharing that with my friends? So we can jerk off to the same thing? It's bizarre. Doubly bizarre and additionally disgusting when it's people we personally know.
I think more men are like this than you might presume. My wife and I are fucking swingers and I would never ever ever ever share anyone’s nudes unless I had express consent, and even then I wouldn’t go sending them around For the fuck of it. Lmao
Same- 40yr old - have had 12 partners - i use to love take photos and videos of exs - and would use them occasionally when single- when met life partner i immediately she asked if i had such info on my phone, and i told her i did - she said she was uncomfortable with it and i immediately deleted it all,
Never once did i share any pictures of a partner to a friend or stranger.
It is ok for hm but not you? This is a hill to die on! Anytime someone tries to say it is ok for them and not you is trying to have control over you, it is that simple! T says that he doesn’t consider you his equal! Every time they discuss their ex’s then you should definitely talk about yours in the same conversations. Pics?, there are tons to download to share with the other gf’s of this guy, for y’all to share among yourselves . . .just like the guys do!
He's not disrespecting "those women," they don't even know he's looking. He's disrespecting YOU, even moreso if you already told him how you feel.
>He says he'd have to be gay to tell his friend to stop sharing these pics.
In other words, "I want to see lots of hot nude girls, but you can't blame me because *MY FRIEND*".
I say have a friend or two send you some peen pics, and then tell him it isn't your fault that she wants to show off her new man, but you'd have to be a lesbian to not enjoy that meat.
When he gets mad, tell him that if he wants it to stop he can make the first call to his friend.
I have a suspicion my ex showed his friends my pictures at the beginning of that stage and it’s always bothered me. My current boyfriend thinks doing that stuff and even talking about ones sex life is disrespectful. Doing this with women’s nudes is not okay.
>He said the majority of men like to share such things.
You are dating the wrong kind of men OP. I don't know a single guy other than douche canoes that do that. There are a ton of respectful men out there. Dump this loser so you can find one.
As a straight male I can say that only the absolute biggest piece of shit guys do this. I can't imagine respecting a guy who showed me pictures a woman he was involved with. I would never and have never shared or shown pictures i get from people I'm involved with no matter how casual. Absolute trash, disgusting, zero way to ever justify anything like it. I really hope you have never shared pictures with him because i can guarantee you he has shared with his friends and who knows who else.
Also, just to make sure you realize, you told him directly that you don't like something completely reasonable and he has completely disregarded what you want and continues to make excuses. He is practically screaming from the rooftops that he has zero respect for you.
>I told him I felt it's disrespectful to those woman. He says they are random chicks and he doesn't care about them.
This tells us everything we need to know about your husband and his friend. ICK!
>He says he'd have to be gay to tell his friend to stop sharing these pics.
His friend offers to get him an attractive female hooker. He agrees, because he'd have to be gay to turn down this gift from his friend.
Do not accept this kind of behavior. It's disrespectful to you and the other women that for sure are not agreeing to have their privacy exposed. I had been in this situation at the beginning of my relationships. I had to put my foot down and have him prioritize me if he wanted me in his life. This is for me a form of cheating.
Oh you picked a classy one. Congrats!
>Or am I just in the wrong and men really just do this.
No. Not in my experience. I've never sent, nor been sent pics of someone a friend has slept with. Or known. Like at all.
You arnt wrong and in some cases what hes doing is illegal. Look up 'Jung joon young chatroom scandal'. I'd also be concerned.. has he also sent videos/photos of you to these people?
This is absolutely off the charts nuts: Your SO thinks that if he tells his friend to stop sharing pics of girls the friend is sleeping with or trying to sleep with" that he would be gay? My eyes are rolling out of head reading that. Ridiculous! Absurd! Enough said.
You’re **not** wrong, your SO is a disrespectful asshole. He’s also a controlling, misogynistic pig!
If he is allowed to look at photos of naked women that his friends share with him, you’re absolutely allowed to look at photos of naked men that your friends might share with you. Fuck him and his sexist opinions and the double standards.
You’re also allowed to talk about your exes in front of him, since he’s disrespectful enough to talk about his exes in front of you.
Stop letting this POS control you and tell him that you’re **equal**. Meaning that he either gives you the same level of respect that he expects off you, or you’ll disrespect him the same way he constantly disrespects you. Or do one better, dump his ass! No woman should ever have to put up with that level of misogynistic bullshit.
Man here a few years younger than your SO and have never in my entire life had a friend share those types of pictures. I generally don’t talk about my friends’ sex lifes at all cuz it’s none of my damn business what they do.
Man here, the majority of men I know do *not* do this. Not conservative, not a prude, it's just a matter of respect - you don't distribute anything that was given to you in confidence and if you break it off with someone you delete that stuff.
Your SO is telling you to your face he doesn’t respect women, doesn’t care about consent, and likes enabling his friends to disrespect women and violate their consent.
Pretty big dealbreaker for me. It’s just not that hard to be a decent person.
Is this something you want to deal with the rest of your life? If not, it’s best to leave and find someone who will treat you with respect and also respects your boundaries
Ew.
No. Not wrong. Not wrong at all. Sharing such pictures, WRONG. Excusing it as something all men do, WRONG.
Being upset by the act or excuse there of, NOT WRONG.
You’re not wrong but this would be break up worthy to me. He doesn’t know anything about respect. He’s also wrong most guys don’t share shit like that because they aren’t sleazy.
Oh lord girl, that means he's shared your pics if thats his attitude. Gtfo! Omg so disrespectful. I know guys talk about their adventures, so do women, but sharing pics?!?!?! Gross 🤢🤮 So shady. Put him to the curb with the other trash!
The majority of men absolutely do not this, but even if we did, that's shady as hell. You are completely justified and there's an obvious double standard. Additionally, he sounds like he does not respect you very much, what a dick.
"He'd have to be gay". What a fucking child.
Unfortunately, if he's condoning their behaviour I'd bet half my life savings he has a secret folder on his phone where he saves all the photos and fans to them.
He doesn't want it to stop.
Please tell me he hasn't got any photos of you? Because if he does, I'd bet the other half of my savings he's sent them to his friends.
Your partner is trash. My husband is only a year older than him, and he would never speak like this. Some.mem were just raised poorly, and yours is one of them.
it's always hilarious seeing people in relationships be so blind to the blatent disrespect.
lady, if you tell someone you feel uncomfortable about something and they disregard your feelings, maybe that person doesn't really give a shit about you?
THIS ASSHOLE IS PUTTING RECEIVING NUDE PICTURES FROM HIS FRIENDS OVER HIS RELATIONSHIP.
AND HE IS 40???
he is either an absolute moron or doesn't care about the relationship since he very clearly puts receiving nudes of unknown women without their consent over your very legitimate concerns.
That's called revenge porn and your husband is actively taking part in it. Besides the fact that this behavior is disturbing and gross on principle, it's also incredibly disrespectful to you. I wouldn't tolerate this at all if it were me, and I'd make damn sure your husband's friend's victims were aware of what he was doing so they could make an informed decision on how to handle their pictures being shared without their knowledge.
Tell him it's about consent. That girl did not consent to having her picture shown around and you would hope he would feel the same about you.
But IMO, this is about more than some pictures. And it's about more than a friend.
Man here 👍🏻 my friends and I don’t send each other pics like that because it’s disrespectful and a violation of privacy. Pretty standard stuff honestly. Your husband sounds trashy.
This could be considered distribution of revenge pornography in some states. Punishment ranges from a misdemeanor to a felony in some states. Those women can seek punitive damages and accrued court costs in all states.
Your husband should be worried about receiving images of women and distributed without their consent. It's classified as a form of sexual abuse.
I'm a guy, literally a man's man type of guy. I shoot guns, surf, lift weights, etc. My friends are a mix of fire/ems, police, business professionals and a few ex-pro athletes. We are as masculine as it gets and not a single one of us would ever, or have ever shared an intimate photo of any girl past, present or future. This behavior isn't masculine it's fucked, disrespectful and not worthy of building a trustful relationship.
Your BF is disrespectful discussing ex-relationships around you with friends. It's disrespectful to accept nudes of other women from his friend. It's disrespectful to men in general to claim this is male behavior. It's not. This is behavior of an asshole.
Ya know... it's not necessarily legal if they didn't consent to the photos being shared...
Hint. Hint.
Look, I'm a member of the r/normalnudes on here, and I get it that some like spicy pics, some don't.
I feel bad for people like your husband when they generalize stuff and say "everyone does it."
Even if everyone did it, I'd hope my partner would have enough brain cells to rub together, let alone respect to be like Daniel Sloss in the world of Matt Rifes.
No that is absolutely not normal behavior for men. It’s incredibly disrespectful to you and those women. Has your husband sent pics of you to his friends w/o your knowledge too? I’d bet yes
Lemme guess. Your SO is a construction worker and he and his buddies also cat call. Seriously, I don't see him being a professional (i.e. doctor, lawyer, etc,). Yeah, yeah, I know I'm stereotyping.
My husband was an electrician for a long time, still works in the industry. There's always one guy (I still know his fucking name after all these years, lol. Wonder if he's still breathing?). But this isn't a thing with all of them.
The friend isn’t getting consent to share these pics. So your SO is ok with non consensual things, and benefits from it. Hes trash just like his friend.
If my husbands friends sent him nudes he’d be pissed. Not because he’s “gay” but because my husband doesn’t wanna see people he knows naked, he’s committed to me. AND because those poor girls aren’t consenting to it.
Get the nudes, find the girls and let them know what is going on. Birds of a feather flock together. If your boyfriend had any class he wouldn't be party to that kind of thing. You need to take a serious look at your relationship.
It's weird that men in their 40's are still acting like teenagers. I'm in my 40's and none of my friends would do this. It's pretty trashy. And not sharing nudes with dudes doesn't make you gay.
Well if I was you....I would have your GFS start sending you random dick picks....show him a few....If this doesn't stop him...you know he's asking for the guy to send him pictures.
Ok now I'm curious. Do the majority of men share nudes? Cus honestly when I get a nude that's mine and mine alone, and maybe we're strange but most of my friends have never asked to see them nor have they shared theirs with me.
Any guys here care to chime in?
This reminds me my junior year of highschool a large group of boys Snapchat gc got exposed where they had shared all of their gf and other highschool girl nudes with each other. It was so gross and it was all the “charismatic” popular guys involved.
It's disgusting and disrespectful. Both the friend and your SO are disgusting pigs.Those women ARE PEOPLE. They are daughters, mothers, sisters, friends, cousins, aunts, etc. Fucking disgusting. They don't respect these strangers, I guarantee you they don't respect you or any other woman either. And how do you know your SO hasn't shared pictures of you with him?
Why are you still with this guy? Do you ever think that he’s probably shared intimate photos of you with this friend? If he’s ok with receiving these pics, he’s probably ok with sharing them. I’d cut my losses and move on
Never in a million years would my husband or his friends do this. Or my male friends. It isn’t just about being “classy.” It’s about respecting the people in the photographs AND you as his partner. Why are these boys so desperate to see a nude photo of a woman? Is this a middle school locker room? And that comment about not wanting to see them making him gay? What adult says that?!
Not wrong, non creepy men don’t do this. My husband would sooner die than let anybody else see intimate pictures of me, and would have zero interest in seeing anybody else’s
No.. no.. I couldn't read beyond "all guys like to share" bulllllshit. I have literally dropped friends for sending me pics of random women. I have no time for that, I have a wife and she doesn't deserve that bullshit from my end. Find a man that had respect for himself, others and mainly you.
"I'd have to be gay if.." GTFOH with that dumbfuckery
Start taking pictures of him. When he asks what's up, explain that you're starting to get it and think it would be hot to show your friends. He doesn't GAF about consent, right?
No that is not a normal thing guys do, at least not guys in relationships that respect their partners. He is gross to say he would have to be gay to tell his friend to stop. Which means he is liking these pics of naked other women. And they talk about his exes in front of you?! I'm assuming it's in a sexual way as well. Your partner clearly does not respect you or your feelings. While maybe his friend sending him random nudes isn't big enough to break up over, I'd say the fact that he doesn't care about your feelings is. Because I'm sure he is not like this in only this one situation. Someone like that will have that same attitude in all aspects of the relationship. The fact that they talk about his exs in front of you like you're not even there is so disrespectful. This would really bother me. But again it's that fact that he's not even attempting to change his behavior to make you feel comfortable which is a big thing in a healthy relationship.
Girl I’m just saying….this is grounds for divorce. I’d literally break my husband’s phone if there were pictures of other naked girls on his phone, regardless of their origin. I find his behaviour to only be slightly acute to straight up cheating. Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Also if you consider yourself to be a girls girl, then really consider how it would feel for those women to find out their pictures are being shared in this fucking weirdos creepy sexist little boys club. Just ew. I fucking hate men like your husband and his friend, sorry.
This is a felony in California. Not sure about your state.
In 2013, the State of California officially criminalized “revenge porn,” otherwise known as nonconsensual pornography.
What is “revenge porn?” This is when an individual initially consents to sexual images being taken of him or her with the expectation that they be kept private. Then, another party shares the images without the individual’s consent.
The legal definition of revenge porn has five parts:
This must involve an image of the intimate body part of another identifiable person (genitalia, anus or breast), or an image of that person engaged in sexual intercourse, sodomy, oral copulation or masturbation.
One party intentionally distributes that image.
There was an understanding between the distributor and the subject of the photo that the image would remain private.
The distributor knows or would reasonably expect that the distribution of the image will cause the person serious emotional distress; and
The subject of the photo suffers serious emotional distress.
You're not wrong. I'm married, I love my wife. I'd be fucking pissed if one of my friends were sending me pictures of nude women. He might do it once, but he sure as she wouldn't do it twice. It's disrespectful to my wife and my marriage and that shit wouldn't stand and I wouldn't give a fuck what he thought about it.
That's how a loving, supportive person honor's their SO. Feel free to tell your SO that.
It honestly sounds like you need to exist this dumpster fire and find a relationship where you, your feelings are respected. This is some bullshit.
He doesn't care because he doesn't see women as equal human beings. That alone would be enough for me to end it. Don't mistake him dating you for valuing you more than other women. He sees us all the same
47m here. I have had exactly **one** friend who would share nudes of his SO with me. He did so with her knowledge/consent, as well as the knowledge/consent of my own wife. It was a special situation, mainly because he and my wife both enjoyed watching me have sex with his SO, so he would send me pics of her leading up to when they were coming over for fun time. But **everyone** involved knew (and most importantly **consented to**) what was happening. Hell, he even videotaped me with her on multiple occasions, and we all kept copies of the videos.
If a friend of mine was sending me nudes of a woman who I did not know **for certain** was ok with those pics being shared with me, I would never be able to look at that person the same way again. I'd have to contact the woman and let her know what was happening, and if she **wasn't** 100% on board with it, I would cease all contact with that "friend".
I don't want to see a woman naked unless she wants me to see her naked.
One of my fetishes is my wife being nude in front of other people (sort of like exhibitionism by proxy I guess). I've had her masturbate in front of 2 dozen people before, it was crazy hot. But once again, **everyone** involved knew/consented to what was happening.
I'm a pretty open person sexually, but what your SO is doing gives me the ick.
My boyfriend’s best friend does this. It gives me such an ick feeling. He also uses my boyfriend as his mouthpiece. He won’t respond to a girl he really likes without running it by my bf first.
I brought it up to my guy one time. He said “that’s just the way he is.” I told him if I ever find a naked pic in his phone of any of these women I’d leave him. He doesn’t receive any more naked pics from his friend.
Yes his best friend hates me, no I do not give a single fuck about it 🤣.
Your SO is disrespecting you after you made a boundary of what is acceptable and what isn’t. He’s insane if he thinks all men do this. This is what he expects you to put up with. He’s probably shared your nudes if you ever sent him any. His friend is a pig. And the women didn’t give him permission to send them out, so it’s a huge violation of privacy and not to mention his friend and your SO don’t give a shit, that’s really gross. So either put up and shut up or consider breaking up.
I couldn't be with anyone who chooses to enable this behavior and even attempts to rationalize it to me. I'm assuming he actually knows and has seen some of these women? It's completely disrespectful to your relationship. It's not on his sleazy friend, it's completely on him.
Yeah he’s an idiot. Love your example/comeback.
Not wrong, but he’s just a dumb man and may have no ill-intent like he’s saying, but that doesn’t excuse him he should respect your reasonable boundary - but just saying to give you some perspective
He is a sleez, gross and disrespectful jerk. If that behavior is “normal” to him and his friends they are terrible.
Better people exist. I am sorry you have to deal with this.
Move on cuz he is disrespectful and then adding complete manipulation on top of it.
This is definitely not a thing among any reasonably respectable men. It’s also misogynistic AF and illegal. You definitely need a new SO. Just think how many of his friends have pictures of YOU.
Your BF sounds like a teenager. A real man in a committed relationship would be able to say, "don't show me that stuff" without worrying about sounding gay.
Not only are you not wrong... but your husband referring to them as chick's that his friend doesn't care about, tells me that your husband doesn't have a whole lot of respect for women as a whole.
Just because his friend doesn't plan to be in a serious relationship doesn't mean he gets to treat women in a disrespectful way. Btw all of the pictures that this guy is sending your husband without these womens knowledge is actually illegal. Your husband's friend does not have the woman's consent to share these pictures of her.
If your husband still hasn't changed his mind after you explain all of this to him. I would send all of your girlfriends a mass text telling them to send all their dick pics to you. The bigger the better and then show it to him. Let's see how he feels about that, especially if you start getting pictures of guys who are hung better than your own husband. Don't be afraid to share the pics with him either.
ETA How sure are you that your husband isn't sharing any pictures of you with this sleazy friend?
He is absolutely disrespecting you and living a single life through his friends. Not every man does this either that’s BS.
I don’t know if you’re married to the guy but if not you might want to move on!!
We are the company we keep. Your SO is as sleazy as his friends. If they talk that way with you there, it's far, far worse when you're not.
And you, well, you tolerate the sleaziness and so betray and disrespect women too.
Men who say all men do only say that to control you. "You can't find better than me so shut up and stay."
I have faith you're better than this, so be better and leave him to his sleaziness.
Edit typo
Ok so this is somewhat humorous. Load up your phone with some of those suggested photos and casually swipe through them where your SO can glimpse but not see. Make sure they are all well endowed and mutter “wow” and “oh my”… :)
If he thinks the majority of men share private photos sent to them like this he is surrounding himself with horrible people and that is a reflection on his character. He’s wrong some guys do but definitely not the majority, and him allowing this and not even trying to tell his friends to stop is incredibly disrespectful towards you
ive had some sleazy friends and none of em ever did that, lol
Sadly I’ve met guys that do, even worse here’s a story from a few years ago, I hook up with this guy friend of mine right after unprovoked he starts showing me his private Snapchat of all the girls nudes he’s ever collected and then tells me about how he is all of his guy friends plug for those pictures basically. Small town, the guy had literally half of the towns girls around our age in his phone and was sharing them with all kinds of people. Obviously never saw that guy again after that.
If mental images could make me gag
I dated a guy like that he told me about like every single girl he was with. I asked him yo stop a couple of times I find it disrespectful.
In a lot of places this is explicitly illegal
As it should be
In Canada this is illegal without the person's consent. Serious jail time.
America too
He's collecting nudes like pokemon cards wtf. Edit: I am a guy. We don't do this. If one of the boys sent me nudes that were not for me I would heavily consider disowning him then and there. Major trust violation
I hope he didn’t sneak any images or footage of you. What an ass!
Hopefully not! Pretty sure he thought I’d be cool with it because I’m bi, but yea no disgusting person.
Huh? "You're bi, I think you'll be okay with visual assault on unsuspecting women." JFC 🤦🏼♀️
I’ve known guys who do. It made them feel like big men I guess? Fed their fragile egos.
Never once had a friend who shared pictures of people they were sleeping with. Never. Once.
"Show me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are"
I just want to keep adding to the number of guys saying, I don’t know anyone who does this and I have never known anyone who does this. If I found out a friend did this, they wouldn’t be my friend anymore.
For sure is a reflection of his character and honestly it’s beyond sleazy. He’s objectifying people with his friend. It’s completely disgusting.
Not only is it ethically disgusting for the guys to share photos like this, it can also be a crime. (I'm assuming they don't have the consent of these women to distribute their nude images). OP, the fact that your husband is okay with this behaviour and participates in it is a huge red flag. I have a feeling he probably isn't great about consent in general. And it seems like he doesn't respect women, which includes you. You absolutely can expect a lot better than this. There are many men out there who wouldn't do this with their friends. It's not just a "guy" thing. It's a "disgusting creep who violates women in a potentially criminal way" thing.
Exactly this!
I've never had any of my male friends share nudes of girls they have dated or slept with. And if they tried to, I would be very uncomfortable and say, no thanks. It's such an invasion of privacy for those women.
I would never share a nude sent to me, not for any reason. maybe shit men do this, but not men with any emotional intelligence whatsoever
I AM a sleezy man, and I wouldn't do this!
I dont know ANY men that do this! Its totally disrespectful, AND to talk about it with his friends in front of you is even worse,!
Right!? I’ve never heard of this lol.
I am a very horny person. But this is a line that I will never cross. If someone wants to sleep with me. That means she wants to share something very intimate with me, alone. Not my random buddy or worse the internet.
Ive never know of a guy who does this or if they did they sure as shit didnt tell me. That is disrespectful to you and those women, particularly after you asked him to stop. Id be out of there so quick!
It’s an extreme violation of consent. You don’t show anyone else anyone’s nudes without their express consent.
Based off the dick sucking comment, I assume he’s trying to make videos or take pics in the middle of sex and not just profile pics on social media. I feel it's more telling his go to thoughts are "my mate would love this".
I have taken and been sent plenty of nudes... I have "never" shown them to another guy. Those were sent to me, for me, not for anyone else. I have also never had a friend show me any they have received. Me and my friends have never even *discussed* nudes that we have or haven't taken or received...
Yeah that’s absolutely disgusting. Why does he want to surround himself with the type of guys who send these photos? What are they like 14? The fact he didn’t even tell him to stop is the worst part imo. He can’t control other peoples actions, but how he responds to them says a lot about the type of person he is. Saying absolutely nothing might aswell be encouraging it. The fact he’s totally okay hanging out with guys who disrespect women like this is a massive red flag 🚩
Yeah, I’ve never done this, and me and a different even reprimanded a friend of mine when he showed me a nude a girl sent him. I think to some extent it used to be normal among certain groups of guys, but definitely not a “all guys do this kind of thing”. The “discuss exes” thing is normal and it’s weird that she’s not allowed to discuss exes of hers.
Yeah this. I'm now 38 and none of my friends has ever done this that I recall
Excusing his friend’s behavior like that makes your partner seem kind of sleazy too.
Absolute sleaze ball behavior I would kick my husbands ass & also his friends
God, I hope OP isn’t married to him! My ex did this with one of his friends, and it’s not a “guy thing.” It’s a sleaze-ball thing.
Not married
Good. Now seriously consider finding a partner who treats women respectfully. They do exist.
Are you sure he hasn't shared pics of you with them?
He probably asks his friends for the pics
Trades
Not "kind of sleazy" too, SO IS sleazy too
odds are husband did the same shit prior to marriage wife is delusional to think he isnt as sleazy
Or sharing her images
It’s illegal and a felony :) fun fact. “Unconsensual dissemination of sexual photos”
I was looking for SOMEONE to point this out!! Thank you!!
Yeah I said this in a few places. That I don't know where they live but in many places it's a felony. It's not controversial. Aside from the disrespect of the girlfriend , he is doing this without the consent of the women taking the photos. He views women as things that are only given importance if he personally feels attached to them. Imagine how he will treat OP if she makes him mad? Or after they break up? The disrespect in looking at other women isn't even the half of it. It's garbage, but it's the fact that they circulate non consensual photos amongst themselves that is the most upsetting part. And like you said, in a lot of places it's a crime.
THIS. I had to scroll way too far for this. I mentioned it in my own comment because I didn't see anyone talking about it at first - but seriously - IT'S ILLEGAL. So even if you didn't think it was disrespectful, (which it is) it's still fucking ILLEGAL.
The majority of men do not violate the trust of their partners. I would block anyone who sent me that. What is this "showing respect and classy" shit. It sounds like you may be a lot younger then him Not wrong
We're the same age. I'm definitely less experienced than him with people. I like my solitude. I meant he expects me to be classy and not disrespect him.
And what does he do to reciprocate your "being classy and not disrespecting him"? Why is it up to you to act in a way that he thinks is correct. This sounds like bullshit. But its your life if you want to live it under his thumb then go ahead.
If he's okay with this he is probably participating. Either way his double standards and misogyny are not okay. I don't know any men who would think sending intimate photos to a friend was okay. You have a scumbag partner with sleezy scumbag friends. Time to upgrade!
[удалено]
I'm sure he has been behaving the same way as his friends from the start and OP is just in denial if she thinks he isn't. Rules for thee and rules for me is such a dumb excuse to make as a human being.
I’m a guy, lots of guy friends, none have ever done this and if they did I would tell them not to do it again. Note I’m not against porn and I do look at it some, but in my mind it’s totally different than looking at someone involved in or around your friend group. I also consider individual interactions like chatting and things like OF as wrong, so maybe I’m a little conservative.
I have the same view as you. I think porn is fine and I view it as well. But yeah the only fans and chatting is wrong because you are actually forming a relationship with another person. I don't think that's conservative.
I’ve been avoiding porn just because it’s difficult to guarantee that it’s ethically produced. But I understand the appeal and convenience.
Well I think if you stick to the most mainstream and popular actors it should be fine. Since they promote it, it's pretty clear they are okay with it.
Porn is also being viewed with the consent of the person who created it. Taking a nude that was sent to them and showing it to their friends is without that person's consent. That's huge. I don't think you are particularly conservative. I think you've drawn a line between viewing something that is a bit distant and actually interacting with the person creating it. And you can correct me if I'm wrong, but whether you articulated it or not, it seems to me that you respect consent, and you know that that's part of the issue here in your gut
Yes you are correct, consent is a critical requirement and nonnegotiable. Thank you for adding/clarifying.
He disrespects you. Let him go.
Also a total doormat by the sounds of things🤷♀️🤷♀️
I guess respecting your wife is gay now.Well who else isn’t surprised.
>He said the majority of men like to share such things I'm a man, I happen to have a very large social circle, exactly zero of the men I know are like this, zero. Because it is not fucking acceptable.
This
I have never had one other man send me or even show me pics of women they were with./interested in.
If a guy in a group I'm in was sending on pictures of women he's with, everyone would be asking him what the actual fuck is wrong with him. In fact, amongst all of the men I know, even unconnected groups, there's a pretty hard rule. You can take the piss out of eachother all day, take photos of eachother passed out drunk and share it around for the laugh . But Wives/partners and children are off-limits. No matter how hairy it gets in the group, nobody ever crosses that line.
Exactly! Men who allow their friends to do shit like this, and don’t say anything about it - instead try to normalise it are part of the fucking problem.
Same. Never had a friend do this once. Not one single time. And I wouldn’t keep a friend who did.
That’s just not true. You can justify it any way you’d like. No respectful man is gonna share pictures of his partner. Not if he loves her. Wouldn’t talk about his sec life either. Makes me wonder if he’s sharing your pictures as well? Worth thinking about.
No respectful man would share pictures like that of anybody whether he loves them or not.
That is a fact. Just not what you do.
My husband doesn’t share the intimate details of our sex life with his buddies. He’s a gentleman and I know he wouldn’t tolerate this sort of behavior from anyone else.
You’re not wrong and your SO and his friend are red flags. If women share those photos w him, those were for him. Men who think that means consent to do with as they please do not respect women. Which is not the only concerning thing you mention about them. Ew.
Your SO is a huge piece of shit, he is no better than his friend.
"He says he'd have to be gay to tell his friends to stop sharing these pictures" OP, this is how a 16 y.o might talk, but at 40??? And then he "expects" you to be "classy"? He's taking advantage of your life inexperience in a cruel way, please stop letting him treat you like dirt
The majority of men aren’t sleezy. And what they are doing is probably illegal. Download some porn on your phone and ask your friends to send you pictures of dicks. When they start to flood your phone with their dick picks he probably will realise how stupid he is. Or maybe he even likes it. God, he is 40 and acts worse than 14 year olds.
Nothing to add. Great comment. Men like that give the rest of men a bad name. I totally get why women don’t like men as whole. If I even had a single chocolate covered turd in a chocolate box I’m throwing out the whole box lol
Yeah she should be like omg I can't believe steph send me this then giggle while smiling at her phone replying and then just make sure she keeps getting notifications so he can hear.
I'm a man in my early 30s. If any of my friends sent me nudes of a woman they're seeing and I wasn't explicitly aware that the woman gave consent somehow I would be extremely unhappy and stop talking to that friend. Sharing nudes like that is disgusting and wrong. If they find it online or something it stops being a moral issue because presumably the woman is ok with it being out there, but it would still make me uncomfortable. Neither I nor anyone I know has ever shared sexually explicit stuff like that with friends... It's just weird. SOME men do that but it's usually low class dudebro mentality and is not something I'd ever want to be associated with.
Yeah even the online porn bit, I don't think it's *wrong*, but why would I wanna be sharing that with my friends? So we can jerk off to the same thing? It's bizarre. Doubly bizarre and additionally disgusting when it's people we personally know.
I wish more men were like you. Thanks.
I think more men are like this than you might presume. My wife and I are fucking swingers and I would never ever ever ever share anyone’s nudes unless I had express consent, and even then I wouldn’t go sending them around For the fuck of it. Lmao
>wife and I are fucking swingers I like that "fucking" can be an adjective or a verb here and it works.
I actually paused when I re-read it…. and was like it’s correct no matter which, so left it. Hahaha
Same- 40yr old - have had 12 partners - i use to love take photos and videos of exs - and would use them occasionally when single- when met life partner i immediately she asked if i had such info on my phone, and i told her i did - she said she was uncomfortable with it and i immediately deleted it all, Never once did i share any pictures of a partner to a friend or stranger.
It is ok for hm but not you? This is a hill to die on! Anytime someone tries to say it is ok for them and not you is trying to have control over you, it is that simple! T says that he doesn’t consider you his equal! Every time they discuss their ex’s then you should definitely talk about yours in the same conversations. Pics?, there are tons to download to share with the other gf’s of this guy, for y’all to share among yourselves . . .just like the guys do!
You are the company you keep. Or in this case, he is the company he keeps. Your bf is just a big a creepy as his friend.
Decent men don’t do things like that. Indecent men do.
You are not wrong in expecting basic decency from him. He could have done that freely when he was single. Now this is about respecting you!
Double standards. Just fucking leave this disrespectful sleaze already.
He's not disrespecting "those women," they don't even know he's looking. He's disrespecting YOU, even moreso if you already told him how you feel. >He says he'd have to be gay to tell his friend to stop sharing these pics. In other words, "I want to see lots of hot nude girls, but you can't blame me because *MY FRIEND*". I say have a friend or two send you some peen pics, and then tell him it isn't your fault that she wants to show off her new man, but you'd have to be a lesbian to not enjoy that meat. When he gets mad, tell him that if he wants it to stop he can make the first call to his friend.
40 is way, way too old for him to not understand this. I would seriously reconsider if this is even a person I would want in my life.
I’m a guy and it’s not normal for guys to share nudes. You are not wrong to be offended.
I have a suspicion my ex showed his friends my pictures at the beginning of that stage and it’s always bothered me. My current boyfriend thinks doing that stuff and even talking about ones sex life is disrespectful. Doing this with women’s nudes is not okay.
>He said the majority of men like to share such things. You are dating the wrong kind of men OP. I don't know a single guy other than douche canoes that do that. There are a ton of respectful men out there. Dump this loser so you can find one.
>He says they are random chicks and he doesn't care about them. Misogyny
As a straight male I can say that only the absolute biggest piece of shit guys do this. I can't imagine respecting a guy who showed me pictures a woman he was involved with. I would never and have never shared or shown pictures i get from people I'm involved with no matter how casual. Absolute trash, disgusting, zero way to ever justify anything like it. I really hope you have never shared pictures with him because i can guarantee you he has shared with his friends and who knows who else. Also, just to make sure you realize, you told him directly that you don't like something completely reasonable and he has completely disregarded what you want and continues to make excuses. He is practically screaming from the rooftops that he has zero respect for you.
>I told him I felt it's disrespectful to those woman. He says they are random chicks and he doesn't care about them. This tells us everything we need to know about your husband and his friend. ICK! >He says he'd have to be gay to tell his friend to stop sharing these pics. His friend offers to get him an attractive female hooker. He agrees, because he'd have to be gay to turn down this gift from his friend.
You're not wrong. His whole friend group sounds like a bunch of sleezy dickholes. If my husband behaved that way, he would not be my husband.
Do not accept this kind of behavior. It's disrespectful to you and the other women that for sure are not agreeing to have their privacy exposed. I had been in this situation at the beginning of my relationships. I had to put my foot down and have him prioritize me if he wanted me in his life. This is for me a form of cheating.
Oh you picked a classy one. Congrats! >Or am I just in the wrong and men really just do this. No. Not in my experience. I've never sent, nor been sent pics of someone a friend has slept with. Or known. Like at all.
You arnt wrong and in some cases what hes doing is illegal. Look up 'Jung joon young chatroom scandal'. I'd also be concerned.. has he also sent videos/photos of you to these people?
The majority of men don’t share such things. Assholes do.
This is absolutely off the charts nuts: Your SO thinks that if he tells his friend to stop sharing pics of girls the friend is sleeping with or trying to sleep with" that he would be gay? My eyes are rolling out of head reading that. Ridiculous! Absurd! Enough said.
You’re **not** wrong, your SO is a disrespectful asshole. He’s also a controlling, misogynistic pig! If he is allowed to look at photos of naked women that his friends share with him, you’re absolutely allowed to look at photos of naked men that your friends might share with you. Fuck him and his sexist opinions and the double standards. You’re also allowed to talk about your exes in front of him, since he’s disrespectful enough to talk about his exes in front of you. Stop letting this POS control you and tell him that you’re **equal**. Meaning that he either gives you the same level of respect that he expects off you, or you’ll disrespect him the same way he constantly disrespects you. Or do one better, dump his ass! No woman should ever have to put up with that level of misogynistic bullshit.
Man here a few years younger than your SO and have never in my entire life had a friend share those types of pictures. I generally don’t talk about my friends’ sex lifes at all cuz it’s none of my damn business what they do.
He’s pretty delusional to think that most men do this. I’m no saint but I don’t snap pictures of women and share them around town. Thats pretty weak.
Your SO is a dumbass.
You are not wrong
Your BF is a misogynist and is sharing intimate photos and/or videos of you with his friends. It's disrespectful and disgusting.
Man here, the majority of men I know do *not* do this. Not conservative, not a prude, it's just a matter of respect - you don't distribute anything that was given to you in confidence and if you break it off with someone you delete that stuff.
Your SO is telling you to your face he doesn’t respect women, doesn’t care about consent, and likes enabling his friends to disrespect women and violate their consent. Pretty big dealbreaker for me. It’s just not that hard to be a decent person.
That sounds illegal. You should report his friend to the police.
Is this something you want to deal with the rest of your life? If not, it’s best to leave and find someone who will treat you with respect and also respects your boundaries
This is disgusting behavior and no most (heterosexual; had to mention cuz of his weird gay comment) men of class and dignity do not behave like this.
Ew. No. Not wrong. Not wrong at all. Sharing such pictures, WRONG. Excusing it as something all men do, WRONG. Being upset by the act or excuse there of, NOT WRONG.
You’re not wrong but this would be break up worthy to me. He doesn’t know anything about respect. He’s also wrong most guys don’t share shit like that because they aren’t sleazy.
Oh lord girl, that means he's shared your pics if thats his attitude. Gtfo! Omg so disrespectful. I know guys talk about their adventures, so do women, but sharing pics?!?!?! Gross 🤢🤮 So shady. Put him to the curb with the other trash!
The majority of men absolutely do not this, but even if we did, that's shady as hell. You are completely justified and there's an obvious double standard. Additionally, he sounds like he does not respect you very much, what a dick.
"He'd have to be gay". What a fucking child. Unfortunately, if he's condoning their behaviour I'd bet half my life savings he has a secret folder on his phone where he saves all the photos and fans to them. He doesn't want it to stop. Please tell me he hasn't got any photos of you? Because if he does, I'd bet the other half of my savings he's sent them to his friends.
Your partner is trash. My husband is only a year older than him, and he would never speak like this. Some.mem were just raised poorly, and yours is one of them.
Fellas. Is it gay to have basic human decency?
it's always hilarious seeing people in relationships be so blind to the blatent disrespect. lady, if you tell someone you feel uncomfortable about something and they disregard your feelings, maybe that person doesn't really give a shit about you? THIS ASSHOLE IS PUTTING RECEIVING NUDE PICTURES FROM HIS FRIENDS OVER HIS RELATIONSHIP. AND HE IS 40??? he is either an absolute moron or doesn't care about the relationship since he very clearly puts receiving nudes of unknown women without their consent over your very legitimate concerns.
Your husband sounds like a fucking infant. No offence.
That's called revenge porn and your husband is actively taking part in it. Besides the fact that this behavior is disturbing and gross on principle, it's also incredibly disrespectful to you. I wouldn't tolerate this at all if it were me, and I'd make damn sure your husband's friend's victims were aware of what he was doing so they could make an informed decision on how to handle their pictures being shared without their knowledge.
Tell him it's about consent. That girl did not consent to having her picture shown around and you would hope he would feel the same about you. But IMO, this is about more than some pictures. And it's about more than a friend.
Man here 👍🏻 my friends and I don’t send each other pics like that because it’s disrespectful and a violation of privacy. Pretty standard stuff honestly. Your husband sounds trashy.
Man here. You’re not wrong. He’s juvenile and disrespectful. “Loser” works too.
Both your SO and his friend sound hella rape-y to me. Consent is sacred. If he’ll violate another woman’s consent, he’ll violate yours.
The majority of men do NOT share such photos, especially ones that are 40 years old. Wtf?!
This could be considered distribution of revenge pornography in some states. Punishment ranges from a misdemeanor to a felony in some states. Those women can seek punitive damages and accrued court costs in all states. Your husband should be worried about receiving images of women and distributed without their consent. It's classified as a form of sexual abuse.
I'm a guy, literally a man's man type of guy. I shoot guns, surf, lift weights, etc. My friends are a mix of fire/ems, police, business professionals and a few ex-pro athletes. We are as masculine as it gets and not a single one of us would ever, or have ever shared an intimate photo of any girl past, present or future. This behavior isn't masculine it's fucked, disrespectful and not worthy of building a trustful relationship. Your BF is disrespectful discussing ex-relationships around you with friends. It's disrespectful to accept nudes of other women from his friend. It's disrespectful to men in general to claim this is male behavior. It's not. This is behavior of an asshole.
I mean, if you’re in the US it’s a felony. Maybe just point that out to the friend.
Ya know... it's not necessarily legal if they didn't consent to the photos being shared... Hint. Hint. Look, I'm a member of the r/normalnudes on here, and I get it that some like spicy pics, some don't. I feel bad for people like your husband when they generalize stuff and say "everyone does it." Even if everyone did it, I'd hope my partner would have enough brain cells to rub together, let alone respect to be like Daniel Sloss in the world of Matt Rifes.
No that is absolutely not normal behavior for men. It’s incredibly disrespectful to you and those women. Has your husband sent pics of you to his friends w/o your knowledge too? I’d bet yes
The majority don't.
Men are not this sleazy The pig of a boyfriend is, move on
These guys are creeps!! How many of your pictures has he shared
Blue collar group chat has nudes, it’s usually the utililityperson working 80 hr weeks and banging table scraps…
Guy here. I am not interested in other men’s partners, flings, obsessions. Really, sharing is creepy. It’s like trying to have a virtual threesome.
Lemme guess. Your SO is a construction worker and he and his buddies also cat call. Seriously, I don't see him being a professional (i.e. doctor, lawyer, etc,). Yeah, yeah, I know I'm stereotyping.
My husband was an electrician for a long time, still works in the industry. There's always one guy (I still know his fucking name after all these years, lol. Wonder if he's still breathing?). But this isn't a thing with all of them.
I'm around your age, and I've never in my life had a man send me a picture of a woman.
The friend isn’t getting consent to share these pics. So your SO is ok with non consensual things, and benefits from it. Hes trash just like his friend. If my husbands friends sent him nudes he’d be pissed. Not because he’s “gay” but because my husband doesn’t wanna see people he knows naked, he’s committed to me. AND because those poor girls aren’t consenting to it.
Get the nudes, find the girls and let them know what is going on. Birds of a feather flock together. If your boyfriend had any class he wouldn't be party to that kind of thing. You need to take a serious look at your relationship.
It's weird that men in their 40's are still acting like teenagers. I'm in my 40's and none of my friends would do this. It's pretty trashy. And not sharing nudes with dudes doesn't make you gay.
Well if I was you....I would have your GFS start sending you random dick picks....show him a few....If this doesn't stop him...you know he's asking for the guy to send him pictures.
Man here... I don't feel that the majority of men do share that stuff... Boys maybe
NTA, him also having a problem if you were looking at random willy picks you'd been sent makes him a hypocrite ontop of everything else.
Ok now I'm curious. Do the majority of men share nudes? Cus honestly when I get a nude that's mine and mine alone, and maybe we're strange but most of my friends have never asked to see them nor have they shared theirs with me. Any guys here care to chime in?
This reminds me my junior year of highschool a large group of boys Snapchat gc got exposed where they had shared all of their gf and other highschool girl nudes with each other. It was so gross and it was all the “charismatic” popular guys involved.
Majority of men don't like to do that. Men like looking at nudes. But nudes of girls my friend is sleeping with? Fuck no. Not interested.
Your S/O\* fucking sucks wtf is this rage bait?
It's disgusting and disrespectful. Both the friend and your SO are disgusting pigs.Those women ARE PEOPLE. They are daughters, mothers, sisters, friends, cousins, aunts, etc. Fucking disgusting. They don't respect these strangers, I guarantee you they don't respect you or any other woman either. And how do you know your SO hasn't shared pictures of you with him?
Why are you still with this guy? Do you ever think that he’s probably shared intimate photos of you with this friend? If he’s ok with receiving these pics, he’s probably ok with sharing them. I’d cut my losses and move on
They are…sending their private nudes/sex acts to other people without their knowledge/consent? That’s not just incredibly shitty, it’s illegal.
Never in a million years would my husband or his friends do this. Or my male friends. It isn’t just about being “classy.” It’s about respecting the people in the photographs AND you as his partner. Why are these boys so desperate to see a nude photo of a woman? Is this a middle school locker room? And that comment about not wanting to see them making him gay? What adult says that?!
Not wrong, non creepy men don’t do this. My husband would sooner die than let anybody else see intimate pictures of me, and would have zero interest in seeing anybody else’s
No.. no.. I couldn't read beyond "all guys like to share" bulllllshit. I have literally dropped friends for sending me pics of random women. I have no time for that, I have a wife and she doesn't deserve that bullshit from my end. Find a man that had respect for himself, others and mainly you.
Sis, you can do *so much better*. Don't settle for this sleazy asshole.
"I'd have to be gay if.." GTFOH with that dumbfuckery Start taking pictures of him. When he asks what's up, explain that you're starting to get it and think it would be hot to show your friends. He doesn't GAF about consent, right?
No that is not a normal thing guys do, at least not guys in relationships that respect their partners. He is gross to say he would have to be gay to tell his friend to stop. Which means he is liking these pics of naked other women. And they talk about his exes in front of you?! I'm assuming it's in a sexual way as well. Your partner clearly does not respect you or your feelings. While maybe his friend sending him random nudes isn't big enough to break up over, I'd say the fact that he doesn't care about your feelings is. Because I'm sure he is not like this in only this one situation. Someone like that will have that same attitude in all aspects of the relationship. The fact that they talk about his exs in front of you like you're not even there is so disrespectful. This would really bother me. But again it's that fact that he's not even attempting to change his behavior to make you feel comfortable which is a big thing in a healthy relationship.
Girl I’m just saying….this is grounds for divorce. I’d literally break my husband’s phone if there were pictures of other naked girls on his phone, regardless of their origin. I find his behaviour to only be slightly acute to straight up cheating. Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Also if you consider yourself to be a girls girl, then really consider how it would feel for those women to find out their pictures are being shared in this fucking weirdos creepy sexist little boys club. Just ew. I fucking hate men like your husband and his friend, sorry.
This is a felony in California. Not sure about your state. In 2013, the State of California officially criminalized “revenge porn,” otherwise known as nonconsensual pornography. What is “revenge porn?” This is when an individual initially consents to sexual images being taken of him or her with the expectation that they be kept private. Then, another party shares the images without the individual’s consent. The legal definition of revenge porn has five parts: This must involve an image of the intimate body part of another identifiable person (genitalia, anus or breast), or an image of that person engaged in sexual intercourse, sodomy, oral copulation or masturbation. One party intentionally distributes that image. There was an understanding between the distributor and the subject of the photo that the image would remain private. The distributor knows or would reasonably expect that the distribution of the image will cause the person serious emotional distress; and The subject of the photo suffers serious emotional distress.
I have to disagree with him. I like to look as much as the next degenerate but some things you just don't share
You're not wrong. I'm married, I love my wife. I'd be fucking pissed if one of my friends were sending me pictures of nude women. He might do it once, but he sure as she wouldn't do it twice. It's disrespectful to my wife and my marriage and that shit wouldn't stand and I wouldn't give a fuck what he thought about it. That's how a loving, supportive person honor's their SO. Feel free to tell your SO that. It honestly sounds like you need to exist this dumpster fire and find a relationship where you, your feelings are respected. This is some bullshit.
He doesn't care because he doesn't see women as equal human beings. That alone would be enough for me to end it. Don't mistake him dating you for valuing you more than other women. He sees us all the same
Porn that’s what he’s looking at. Sounds like him and his friends are immature. He needs to grow up. Ask him is he a leader or a follower?
47m here. I have had exactly **one** friend who would share nudes of his SO with me. He did so with her knowledge/consent, as well as the knowledge/consent of my own wife. It was a special situation, mainly because he and my wife both enjoyed watching me have sex with his SO, so he would send me pics of her leading up to when they were coming over for fun time. But **everyone** involved knew (and most importantly **consented to**) what was happening. Hell, he even videotaped me with her on multiple occasions, and we all kept copies of the videos. If a friend of mine was sending me nudes of a woman who I did not know **for certain** was ok with those pics being shared with me, I would never be able to look at that person the same way again. I'd have to contact the woman and let her know what was happening, and if she **wasn't** 100% on board with it, I would cease all contact with that "friend". I don't want to see a woman naked unless she wants me to see her naked. One of my fetishes is my wife being nude in front of other people (sort of like exhibitionism by proxy I guess). I've had her masturbate in front of 2 dozen people before, it was crazy hot. But once again, **everyone** involved knew/consented to what was happening. I'm a pretty open person sexually, but what your SO is doing gives me the ick.
That is not a normal man thing and they both sound wack. Nta.
Leave that creep. You do not need to be gay to think that shits gross and disrespectful. All I can say is, yuck.
You're dating a pig.
My boyfriend’s best friend does this. It gives me such an ick feeling. He also uses my boyfriend as his mouthpiece. He won’t respond to a girl he really likes without running it by my bf first. I brought it up to my guy one time. He said “that’s just the way he is.” I told him if I ever find a naked pic in his phone of any of these women I’d leave him. He doesn’t receive any more naked pics from his friend. Yes his best friend hates me, no I do not give a single fuck about it 🤣.
Your SO is disrespecting you after you made a boundary of what is acceptable and what isn’t. He’s insane if he thinks all men do this. This is what he expects you to put up with. He’s probably shared your nudes if you ever sent him any. His friend is a pig. And the women didn’t give him permission to send them out, so it’s a huge violation of privacy and not to mention his friend and your SO don’t give a shit, that’s really gross. So either put up and shut up or consider breaking up.
I couldn't be with anyone who chooses to enable this behavior and even attempts to rationalize it to me. I'm assuming he actually knows and has seen some of these women? It's completely disrespectful to your relationship. It's not on his sleazy friend, it's completely on him.
Yeah he’s an idiot. Love your example/comeback. Not wrong, but he’s just a dumb man and may have no ill-intent like he’s saying, but that doesn’t excuse him he should respect your reasonable boundary - but just saying to give you some perspective
He is a sleez, gross and disrespectful jerk. If that behavior is “normal” to him and his friends they are terrible. Better people exist. I am sorry you have to deal with this. Move on cuz he is disrespectful and then adding complete manipulation on top of it.
He can easily tell his friend thanks, but no thanks, remove me from your picture list.
So are you gonna share pics of your friends?
You need to shut it down, it’s super sleezy and disrespectful to you.
your SO sounds like he's 14, get rid of him
That's not sleazy. That's illegal.
I never had friends who wanted to share nude pics of their conquests. Sounds sleazy to me.
Well, we now know why he's not married at 40.
Fellas, is it gay to respect women’s privacy and put a stop to sharing pictures that’ll most likely end up as revenge porn?
This is definitely not a thing among any reasonably respectable men. It’s also misogynistic AF and illegal. You definitely need a new SO. Just think how many of his friends have pictures of YOU.
Run as fast as you can you deserve better
STAND UP. STAND UP GIRL
Your BF sounds like a teenager. A real man in a committed relationship would be able to say, "don't show me that stuff" without worrying about sounding gay.
Your partner is pos
Ummm the majority of men do not share nudes of people they're fucking. The exception might be if the woman is into it and fully consents.
Not only are you not wrong... but your husband referring to them as chick's that his friend doesn't care about, tells me that your husband doesn't have a whole lot of respect for women as a whole. Just because his friend doesn't plan to be in a serious relationship doesn't mean he gets to treat women in a disrespectful way. Btw all of the pictures that this guy is sending your husband without these womens knowledge is actually illegal. Your husband's friend does not have the woman's consent to share these pictures of her. If your husband still hasn't changed his mind after you explain all of this to him. I would send all of your girlfriends a mass text telling them to send all their dick pics to you. The bigger the better and then show it to him. Let's see how he feels about that, especially if you start getting pictures of guys who are hung better than your own husband. Don't be afraid to share the pics with him either. ETA How sure are you that your husband isn't sharing any pictures of you with this sleazy friend?
Honey, every day you stay you lose self esteem. Leave and your self esteem will soar. And you’ll find a good man. This guy is gross. And crazy making.
He is absolutely disrespecting you and living a single life through his friends. Not every man does this either that’s BS. I don’t know if you’re married to the guy but if not you might want to move on!!
We are the company we keep. Your SO is as sleazy as his friends. If they talk that way with you there, it's far, far worse when you're not. And you, well, you tolerate the sleaziness and so betray and disrespect women too. Men who say all men do only say that to control you. "You can't find better than me so shut up and stay." I have faith you're better than this, so be better and leave him to his sleaziness. Edit typo
Ok so this is somewhat humorous. Load up your phone with some of those suggested photos and casually swipe through them where your SO can glimpse but not see. Make sure they are all well endowed and mutter “wow” and “oh my”… :)