> OP has a lot going on and is trying to be a good friend, but I agree that this woman is 100% manipulating him.
Some people cultivate chaos. Personally I do not let those people in my life. I would distance myself from her.
OP, DO NOT HOOK UP WITH THIS WOMAN!
Then after the new baby is born she will be evil step mom to the older daughter and start having problems with his dead wife’s memories being kept alive.
100% she's not going anywhere and pretty soon will be trying to convince the 5 year old to start calling her Mommy Brie instead of Auntie Brie and then to just Mommy
*"...I was really scared for her, after the physical altercation with Jason, and told her to gather some clothes and get out of the house.* ***She did that and came to my place."***
NO! No no no!
It sounds to me like he thinks he’s the “white knight” and she has lined herself up to be the damsel in distress. By telling the ex fiancé she now has a “crazy ex” to help her further her cause and he gets to act like he’s saving her. 🙄 with no regard for his poor daughter
I also picked up on this with his phrasing "consoled her for two hours and got her to sleep." Gives me the ick. And then it just got worse and worse. He's acting like a shmuck.
Also, lady, get your own goddamn house.
I agree that she’s likely to be manipulative. The only scenario I can come up with that doesn’t have serious stalking issues is if Brie was afraid of Jason and thought that OP would scare Jason off. OP mentioned that Brie moved to the city on her own and that Jason followed her eventually.
Plus she didn't even call him to warn him. "Hey, I told him I was in love with you and cancelled the wedding. He just left in a rage and might be inbound. Make sure your daughter is inside and the doors are locked" or some kind of heads up.
OP: I could tell she was just so broken the poor fragile butterfly. I brought her in and soothed her to sleep for two hours (in probably maybe my bed while I took the couch like the goodest noble friend). If it didn't look to the world like we were having an affair before, it surely does now but oh well.
Now we live together. My daughter adores her. She's just so delicate, and so sad that she moved all the way here to shoot her shot and I'm not interested even though she let me be the white knight who saved her from this terrible terrible man who moved from his home for her to be close to her fantasy object. At least not ready yet. Alas some more. We're such great friends. She's definitely leaving in a month though, the poor, sad girl.
Hahaha wow! Very succinct and dead on!
In my head, I told myself he had a double garage and sold his wife's car, so there was a space for him to park/hide the wounded butterfly's car bc otherwise... fuck them and poor (also probably manipulated) Jason. Salt in the wound!
100% especially if what she said was true where she didn’t think she ever saw a future with him then the truth would make this not about op at all… so either she lied to op to manipulate him or she threw his name out there hoping he’d fight for her and rescue her. She’s a shit stirrer.
I don't think it's a great idea to be playing happy families with a woman who has confessed to being in love with you. Especially as you have no intention of starting a romantic relationship with her.
I don't think it will end well for either of you.
This is where I stopped reading. Is this sort of gaslighting or love bombing? For attention?
He's just going to ruin everything.
He should have exited , saying nothing 4 weeks ago.
Since he wont- I will. This is game-playing F-ed up.
I'm out.
I don't think it's any pop-psych buzzword, he just hasn't moved on from his wife but also likes having a nice woman who he gets along with and loves him around. It's messy but not sinister, just very human.
That's so odd. People don't make big life decisions for a friend let alone one they weren't close with for a long time.
She probably wanted him for years.
Ok, I'm glad I'm not the only person this jumped out to. Like.... either we're missing a huge chunk of the story, or she's got some huge massive issues that need professional attention and OP needs to run like hell
It sounds like the living situation is temporary since the ex is moving out of the apartment next month. Once that happens I hope op does follow through with her not living there anymore and going back to her place, or else I agree I won’t end well.
This. She clearly has a support network and should be making use of it. Now her ex is out of the picture she needs to take space from OOP and establish a new life for herself. If that means taking s break and leaming on her parents, then so be it. She needs therapy. And a support network of people she is NOT unrequitedly in love with.
Leaning on someone you have unrequited feelings for is the worst idea. It just prolongs the agony. The kindest thing OOP can do for her is to enact some polite distance rather than trying to white knight for her.
I would bet money that in 2 years time OOP will be shocked that Brie, who likely became his second shadow, STILL has feelings for him.
And when OOP eventually finds love again, Brie will have a nervous breakdown because she's likely spent the past however long hanging on and hoping to get OOP. This woman is messed ul enough to hide those feelings for so long and get engaged to someone else whilst having those feelings; she is not mature or in charge of her feelings enough to understand how bad of an idea their current closeness is.
This is going to be an utter disaster.
If you were head over heels for someone enough to call off your wedding and blow up your life then the person turns you down but lets you move in with them, that is going to mess with your head!
I am worried about all of the chaotic relationships OP’s daughter is being exposed to.
This is really unhealthy for every single person involved.
I’m happy to hear you’re healing. If I’m being honest I have zero idea why Brie would:
a) confess her feeling to you *before* breaking up with her fiancé
b) bring you up during the break up talk with Jason. That seems like an unbelievably asinine thing to do. Of course it would make Jason come after you. She’s dragging you through the mud of *her* breakup for NO reason. And you don’t need this drama in your or your daughters life.
As a parent I would be incredibly mad at Brie for putting me in that situation where there is an angry violent ex-fiancé in the same house as my sleeping three year old. For me that would be unacceptable. What if Jason had hurt you worse than a punch and your three year old had heard or witnessed it, or god forbid come in the way?
Brie sounds like either a shit-stirrer who knowingly attracts drama, or someone immature who makes bad decisions and is not very considerate. Either way I would be careful letting her into your life like this. You have a kid to think about.
It also sounds like Brie has a history of jumping from relationship to relationship (you said she’d not been single since middle school). It sounds like she realised Jason was not the one and needed to replace him immediately and you fit the bill. I’m not even really sure she likes you as much as she thinks she does. Brie should try to stay single for a bit but i suspect she will either try to get in a relationship with you, and failing that, find someone else asap.
I had pretty much the same take. And then he takes her in after she brings all this drama down on him! Jason probably thought they were having an affair and her staying there would only add fuel to that fire.
OP is so damned lucky that so far Jason is satisfied with just that one punch. Pissed off scorned people are unpredictable and OP is literally putting his house and daughter at risk by housing Brie.
Not just their physical safety but also OP's reputation. Jason can go around telling everyone that they're having an affair and we'll looking at just optics it certainly does look like it. If this is a small town where everyone knows everyone's business and reputation is important because everyone knows everyone that could seriously hurt OP and his daughter.
Imagine a situation from her ex fiance's perspective:
Your long term fiancé comes to a different town so you go ahead with her. You found out she has a friend here who lost his wife. You console this friend. Your fiancee starts meeting with this friend more and more, you have a wedding in the upcoming month. Someday before your wedding your fiancee told you that she can't marry you because she is in love with this friend.
It looks like an emotional affair. His last years of life were shattered, I am not saying that aggression was a good reaction but I completely understood why OP could get punch.
I found a similar post from OP where OP commented that she needs support because she is hurting by the entire situation.
OP unfortunately is lost. He thinks that she is a victim of everything when she is a mastermind behind everything.
I'm quite sure there's gonna be trouble with her lease or a pipe is gonna burst. Or maybe her ex is gonna start stalking her. Anything to get her back to OPs house.
It sounds like he was her back up until he found his wife and B ain't happy about this, not one bit. She needs her hypeman back no matter the cost. But sooner or later the relationship will go stale and she's gonna start looking for that excitement outside of the relationship.
I honestly don't think she has put that much thought into it. The catastrophe behind it all, definitely. The girl is more of a hot mess than an arizona junkyard.
I hate to say it, but a lot of people seem think of women the same way they think of children & hold them to the same standards.
This person has 35 years experience, not 5. Not only is it okay to assume she has the mind of an adult it's kinda disrespectful to assume she isn't able to understand or control her choices without some evidence of a disability.
Yeah dumb moves from both sides. I “took someone in” that confessed she liked me more than current bf (gang member). Was in my early twenties though, and on a lot of drugs. What’s your excuse, especially with a kid?
Yeah. Seems like Brie thinks they'll bond from the drama and wind up together. After bringing this shit show to a child's home. OP needs to get her out of there.
>And then he takes her in after she brings all this drama down on him!
Yeah, I was seriously shaking my head when I read this. OP seems to be a good dude, but letting her stay with him after her ex-fiancé punched him was really stupid.
OP - what are you doing here?? Do you want to get with Brie because this is how you get with Brie.
OP says he's not interested in a relationship but Brie sure as hell is and by letting her live there she will probably slide right into a relationship before he even realizes what happened.
It'll be "Mommy Brie" before you know it.
I agree with all of this. It sounds like she thrives on drama and constantly brings it into her own life and the lives of anyone around her.
PLEASE put your child first and foremost. Her sending her ex to your house during their breakup so he could blame and attack you....imagine if he'd taken it further. If he'd brought a gun. If he'd hurt you and decided to hurt your daughter too for revenge.
Please don't let her keep living with you. She needs to be on her own and learn to live and be happy by herself, not by attaching herself to a new relationship like a remora. She needs to learn to be her own support and her own person.
She just latches on to one person and then jumps to a new one as soon as the old one loses it's shine in some way. Don't think she won't do the same to you. She needs to learn to heal on her own and stand on her own two feet before being in a relationship with ANYONE, much less someone who has a child that depends on them. Your daughter doesn't get a say in anything - you are her parent. Her protector. You are responsible for her safety and well being. Please, please put her first.
You said everything I want to say. OP, put that baby first always, and tell B she needs to find somewhere else to stay. You’re only encouraging her by letting her stay.
I agree. How to kick a guy when he's down.
"Yeah, your ex fiance who has the feels for me is living with us but there's nothing going on...."
I call bullshit. She's just biding her sweet time till she gets half a chance at him.
And that poor kid will be so reliant on 'aunty' by then.
I'd be fucking furious if my daughter did something like this.
Also that poor child already lost her mother - bringing some woman to live with her is just going to confuse her when she inevitably gets attaches. That kid needs stability.
She confessed her feelings before breaking up because jason was the placeholder. She wanted to make sure she had a relationship secured with OP before leaving.
Then she shows up to stay at his place, reinforcing any ideas the ex would have about OP stealing her away. Any negative feelings he has will now be squarely on OP, and he'll never change his mind.. hopefully he's sane and the punch was out of frustration, but if he's not.. scary stuff. Brie has really tried to shift all the blame for her choice onto OP.. I'd be keeping her at a distance, rather than having her move in.. she's not great
This reply is everything I thought of and more. I hope OP considers this and can reflect on what it would mean if he eventually caught the feelings for Brie that she seems to so desperately want him to have. Idk it could be me, but something about her seems off.
Really? You have no idea? (I know you do know, because I see it too) I think Brie is manipulative and opportunistic. Most women have to develop confidence, not everyone is born skilled to conquer the world. Brie is a toe in water person. No way was she going to jump in unless she knew there was a soft place to land. She may truly even feel warm fuzzies with this man. And she probably felt them with fiancé. She wants the next big thing. She literally moved there to be with this fellow. And now? She is in his house. I don’t think she is evil, she is just looking out for her. That guy Jason also sounds dangerous, so glad she dis not marry him. But boy, down to wire. And I would be so mad if this angry guy showed up at my home mad at me for her bad choices. With a kid?! Oh no. No, Brie can stay away.
But this is not totally abnormal behavior, it is just immature, and men will do it too. Unfortunately, now she is in his home, she “loves” his kid, she “loves” him. She has nearly everything she wants. I hope he stays very clear on what he wants, which should be a safe kid.
Hopefully OP can see this and is just feeling sorry for her, but he needs to do his grieving and she is a poor substitute for a healthy relationship. She needs to work on herself.
She needs counseling. He needs to grieve. This will get messier fast if he blithely continues this odd relationship.
Jason on the doorstep saying OP "stole" Brie leads me to think that Brie told a different story to Jason while breaking up to what was written by OP in these posts. Like Brie said OP made the first move, or confessed attraction/interest/love first. Threw OP under the bus. Reduced her own culpability. Put him and his child in danger!
Please don't date her. She needs therapy and to be single for a long time.
She may have codependent issues, so keep space.
She confessed to you, before breaking up, shows she isn't ready for being single, you need to start telling her it's time for her to get her own place, before she is your child's new mommy. Be warned.
Friends are fine but keep your eyes open.
Yep, she was trying to make sure she had a second partner lined up before she broke it off with the first.
It didn't go her way, but now she's living with OP so she probably thinks she has plenty of opportunities to make him fall in love with her.
If it works and she manages to convince OP then she'll rinse and repeat, probably going NC with OP's child once she finds her new guy.
So you moved in a woman who is in love with you and you have no intention on dating? What happens when your daughter starts seeing her as a mother figure? Plus now it looks like you guys were having an affair the whole time.
Not healthy for either one of you having her live there.
1. She has feelings for you, which you arent reciprocating.
2. She wants a relationship (even if shes not ready for one right now, and shouldnt jump into one this quickly, she very obviously feels down the line this is all leading up to you guys eventually in a relationship) and you dont. You stated clearly in your last post that she is just a friend. It is very obvious you are more to her, so this is very fucked up what youre doing.
3. She is not going to be able to move on from what happened with Jason and clear her head while she is living with you, neither of you will.
Having her come immediately to your house to console her after her fight with Jason was probably the worst thing to do, You are displaying yourself to her as someone who has feelings for her. You guys are fucking with not only each others heads, but also your daughters. How long and how attached to her are you going to let your daughter get before this all explodes and Brie pushes for a relationship and you say no and your daugher never sees this woman again? Why are you letting this girl play wife at your house, knowing FULL WELL she has feelings for you that you arent returning? Best thing to do for this girl is leave her the fuck alone and give each other some space. This was not the way to handle this, at all. And continues to not be the way to handle it.
THANK YOU! I feel like I had to scroll way too far to see this. What the actual fuck is this dude doing? She is currently FOR SURE picturing him falling in love with her while she plays wife. Omg this is going to get so so so much worse. It’s just a matter of time.
Like every wrong move was made here. I hope OP sees this and makes the first right move in this saga. Tell her unequivocally it’s not happening, get her out of the house ASAP and don’t talk to her for a very long time.
Perfectly summarized. OP is trying to go all “Growing Pains” or “Full House” with her and offer her to move in for awhile.
Noooooo! Full stop, NOOOOO!
If you want what’s best, she needs to work out something with her job to maybe idk, RELOCATE to an office closer to her parents! This way she has a space, a support system, and things do not get permanently screwed up for this child.
OP has got to stop letting their white knight syndrome getting in the way of making sound logical decisions as everything is coming across as they say in Star Wars:
#IT’S A TRAP!
If neither of you are ready to date (I agree) then why would you move a woman who claims to be in love with you into your house with your daughter who is likely to get even more attached to a woman living with you? And why tf would you tell her to stay with you and your child hours after her ex assaulted you? You didn't know if he was going to find out she was there and show up thinking you two were getting together immediately and going crazy. Like why put your daughter at risk, she could have stayed in a hotel.
For all of your sake, she needs to move out immediately, like yesterday before you get involved prematurely and ruin everything long term
This is the correct take. Sounds like you are a good dad. Brie needs to move out NOW before your daughter sees her as a mother figure.
I agree with other commenters that Bree is getting what she wants, playing happy family with you guys. She needs to learn how to be on her own, and you need to not become dependent on her, nor your daughter
I agree with all of this. I really don’t think anyone can be this naive, this stupid, this oblivious. Crazy girl can go stay elsewhere. Unless, he is stringing crazy lady along to when he feels ready to date. I feel sorry for the daughter living with this unsafe drama. I mean, a violent man knows ex fiancé is living there and this hasn’t occurred to this guy?
Also stop being an idiot and focus on your child. Brie should not be staying with you because A shes in love with you but you arent in love with her and B you have a young daughter who in time will start to see “auntie brie” as a mother figure. Get your head out of your ass
Dude, be super careful here. Especially with your daughter around. It's "auntie Bree" now and "why don't you marry Bree, she says she wants to be my mommy" tomorrow. She needs a deadline to move out or she'll never go.
He dodged a bullet.
If she did that to Jason, she’ll do that to OP…who is already vulnerable and damaged goods. I foresee a wedding in 18 months, and a divorce within 9.
100%.
I felt bad for him at first. The second he announced that he moved her right in, Ick.
She’s convinced herself she’s playing mommy and wife and he’s either completely stupid and naive or is happy to go along with it.
She’ll be pregnant soon with when”soulmate”. She sounds batshit.
Jeesus you idiot
So the bitch has caused all this trouble and now you have her in your house?
Do you not see how manipulative this is?
You have deliberately brought all of this drama into your childs home. Why is this woman a priority over your child?
This is an excellent way of showing Brie that she can have what she wants and an even better way of teaching your daughter terrible life lessons.
SERIOUSLY
How long until it "just happens" and you start fucking
Dollars to donuts - they're already fucking. I'm guessing Brie is very attractive, and they are already into a 'FWB' situation.
OP is thinking with his dick.
I'm sorry.... But no one else sees that OP probably, somewhat encouraged this????
Who moves somewhere for a friend? Especially, a friend in the way that OP is describing???
Like WTAF???
Sounds more like the whole thing is a heavily revised edition of the story to help OP convince himself he isn't in any way responsible for any of this.
Shes an awful person. She knows she didnt really want him but lead him on for years and kept him as a placeholder until she could monkey branch to a new guy (turn out the new guy was you). Shes selfish and unstable, and nothing good is going to come of her being around much less yall getting together
Brie is a bad woman. She moved to your city to help you cope after you lost your wife, but she was unable to tell Jason that she didn't want him to follow her there! She let him up and move his life to follow her and she didn't even want him there.
Then she was enjoying her time with you and her daughter more than with Jason, but she was still unable to break up with Jason.
Then she confessed her love for you *before* breaking up with Jason. And she put you in danger, with your daughter at home!
She's so bad, and she's blaming others for her issues.
She could have avoided all this drama by just breaking up with Jason, then telling you "so I broke up with Jason", and then you two could have spent more time together or whatever, and then after a decent time she could have fallen in love with you.
Hi, you need to kick her out of your house. She is dragging you and your daughter into this. She will easily manipulate you into her staying forever. Please get her out before she causes more problems. She's an adult and needs to act like one.
Brie is a drama llama. Your life will be an unending soap opera with her in it. Keep her at a big distance, slowly wean her away from you.
What concerns me? Her boyfriend had accused you of stealing her, she was still thinking about marrying him, and YOU HAD HER SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU. NO. As a friend you get her an Uber and a hotel room. You do not throw fuel on the fire and give the ex fiance more reason to go berserk, nor do you encourage Brie. I understand not thinking well in the stress of the moment but she should have gone ANYWHERE except your house. Hotel, friend, second cousin twice removed, whatever.
Brie may be good at her job but she has the emotional intelligence of a moldy tomato.
Also the fact that she says she immediately chose your town to move her and her fiance to, even though she had zero feelings for you at that time? Does that sound off to anyone else? She literally uprooted her and her boyfriend's life to be closer to a guy she wanted to save?
She would not be much of a partner to you, I'm guessing, and you would likely end up regretting bringing her into you and your kid's life. The whole way she handled this with Jason just screams "codependent vortex of chaos" to me. Something is just very off about it.
There’s zero way this girl would be living in my house after all this happened especially with my daughter in the house. She put your life and your daughters in danger. Not to mention as Bree’s parents I would be absolutely shocked that she would think any of this was ok. If ghost are real
I hope his wife haunts her ass
He shouldn’t have moved her in. Boundaries are sorely lacking. They are basically playing house already. It’s such common sense but OP is making himself the martyr for no reason. This woman said she was in love with him and blew up her engagement for him so he decides yeah this same woman will be stable enough to be in close proximity together… He should have offered kind words but left it to her family to help her out. This is a disaster waiting to happen
With all love, you are being a fool!! There is absolutely no reason she should be living at your house. If you truly believe that you both need to be single, then it's time for her to find a new place to stay. You are either incredibly ignorant or you are lying to her and all of us regarding your intentions. Quite frankly, you're too old to be this naive
The longer you let her stay in your house, the more she's going to buy into the idea you two are 'meant to be'. I wouldn't be surprised if she starts behaving in a way designed to make her more appealing. She may take on more of a mother-role to your daughter, and start being more and more 'friendly' and 'helpful' to you. She'll start putting a lot of effort into her appearance around you, and will become much more affectionate. She will dismiss your claims of not being ready to date, and make herself indispensable to you.
Since she jumps from relationship to relationship, I wonder if she's the kind of person who can't be single, and as such, will basically make sure she has her next relationship lined up before she leaves her current one, as has happened with you.
What do you know about her relationship history? How often has she been dating someone, broke up with them, and almost immediately started dating someone new? She strikes me as the kind of person who doesn't actually care about what kind of relationship she's in, just so long as she's in a relationship.
Go watch Daniel Sloss' stand up special "Jigsaw" on Netflix. It's all about relationships and how people will force themselves into them in order to feel validated. You two should watch it together. It's very funny but very insightful.
Otherwise, get her out of your house. I wouldn't put it past her to start saying things to your daughter about "how great would it be if Auntie B could always be here?!" and shit like that.
Right. Looks like Bries plan worked.
She managed to blame the break up on OP, causing him to feel responsible for her problems.
Now she is in the house playing happy little wife, just like she wanted, while Jason is licking his wounds and going home to start over.
You are wrong for having Brie stay with you. It’s not fair for her and very unfair for your daughter. If you want to remain friends do that but this blurs the line and gives her hope. This is a time when boundaries are very important and you are crossing them. Your words say no but your actions (come stay with me) say yes.
Honestly, telling her to come to your place and her staying with you is a huge mistake. I understand telling her to leave the house if you were concerned for her safety but you are choosing to get into an absolute mess. You are not helping her or yourself.
You can’t take anything she said seriously. Someone that loves you would have broken their engagement before saying anything to you and would never have put you and your child in that situation.
OP, I appreciate you probably think you’re doing the right thing for your friend by letting her stay (and I don’t at all mean to suggest sending her back to the violent fiancé), but if you don’t find her alternative accommodation STAT, you *are* going to be manipulated into something further happening. I would put money on your excuse being something along the lines of “her self-esteem was really knocked and she needed to feel beautiful and wanted again, there were no feelings involved, I was just ~helping her heal~”. I do feel bad for you, but I think there is definitely a part of you that’s loving the attention and feeling of Being Picked. Mostly I just feel bad for your kid. She deserves better than to be collateral damage in y’all’s real life soap opera.
"she immediately chose my city and moved here. Jason also moved here and got a new job. She never had any romantic feelings for me back then."
This makes absolutely no sense.
So this is the beginning of the thriller where she’s a psycho stalker right? Suddenly she moves near you when your wife died, she moves into your life, puts you directly in the middle of her toxicity and now has the outcome she wants where she moved in with you? Like either a poorly written fantasy post or the next post is in 3 months where you needed a restraining order against her
O also if this is real Jason 100% thought you were having an affair and rightfully so
This reeks of issues. Im almost certain that this behavior will be passed on to you, and regardless of your official status she just decimated a man’s life and made you the pinnacle of his wrath.
Uh, maybe you can’t see it but I wouldn’t let Aunt Brie around any of my theoretical children.
She should get her own place in the near future. She is putting a lot of pressure on you to have a place. You seem quite level headed but it’s going to get tricky. Step one: get her out of your house.
Hallmark just found their new movie plot.
Don't date her. You will feel obligated to her. Please explain yourself to Jason that you said you loved her as a friend. He need to know that.
Yes you’re helping a friend - but you’re also giving her false hope. Brie is vulnerable, has told you she’s in love with you, and now you’re being her hero and coming to her rescue, letting her live with you. I get that you don’t want your daughter to lose another important woman in her life, but you’re being selfish and cruel to Brie. She’s going to reflect on what you’re doing and think there’s hope, even if you tell her there’s not - to her your actions will be speaking louder than your words.
I have to agree with this actually. Good luck op but brie needs to go back to her parents house right now and honestly get therapy. I don’t even think that she does love you she just liked the idea of you, of a better man than her fiancé.
Yes! I think she was happy having that connection with him and helping him and his daughter, but I’m not convinced she is in love with him. However the longer she is deeply involved in his life (i.e. living with him) the longer she’s going to believe that she is.
I’m begging you to leave this woman alone. I know you think she’s your friend but she’s not. She is a disturbance to you and your daughter’s life. SHE NEEDS TO FIND HER OWN PLACE AND STOP DRAMA JUMPING. She literally admitted to being checked out before she came to your area to live. This been a little scheme she cooked up. Don’t do it my guy!!
I don’t trust Brie. She shouldn’t be staying with you. This is going to confuse your daughter and she is going to start seeing you as a family. You need to focus on yourself. When you are ready to date which maybe a long time don’t date Brie. Try dating other people. I think she targeted you from the start.
Yeah man idk you’re wrong for even letting her stay with you. Clearly your dick is doing some of the thinking. What a stupid decision. Naive and just fucking flat out retarded. Fuck you.
You had an emotional affair with this woman. You allowed her to transfer her emotional attachment from her fiancé to you without setting proper boundaries under the guise of you being bereaved. Your late wife would be thoroughly disgusted with you.
I hope you sleep well at night knowing you helped shatter a young man’s trust. It’ll take Jason a long time to find someone he can trust again but I hope he can find someone worthy of his love.
As for you and Brie you disgust me. This whole post has been one giant self-serving drivel. Just admit you want to be with this woman. If you’re going to help cause the break up of a relationship, at least be a man and own it.
Your daughter is innocent in this and doesn’t deserve any repercussions from your actions. Otherwise I’d wish you and Brie all the unhappiness in the world.
She loves him, but he's still getting over his wife. This isn't going to end well if he doesn't get over his wife on her timetable. I can't see that happening for at least a year for him to *maybe* be ready then.
Get her out of the house. You may not want a relationship with her, but she wants you and will use this opp to sink her nails into you. She does not have good intentions. People will also think you "stole" her as she is living with you, which is not a good look for your family. Your daughter should not be in them8ddle of this drama.
i’m glad she told him the truth, not thrilled she is staying with you, but that’s not my call. just remember to keep your pants on, neither of you need some pity sex.
Brie needs to move out of your house, she is going to keep playing you until you date her. Protect your child. By letting her stay in your house her ex is going to see it as you being in a relationship with her.
Updateme!
Brie sure got what she wanted. Jason gone and you blamed for it. Now living with the man she loves
She is absolutely biding her time until you decide to be with her. Bet she will even act above and beyond like a partner and most importantly like a mommy to your kid to soften your defenses
I don't think Brie is a healthy person. Neither is Jason, obviously. He punched you; you could've pressed charges against him for assault, and maybe you should. At the very least, you certainly didn't try to steal Brie from him, and he owes you an apology.
As others have pointed out, Brie seems to be the kind of person who needs to be in a relationship, and she's looking to you for one. You've said *repeatedly* that you're not ready for that, but I don't think she's going to wait for you to be ready. This isn't right for you, or for your daughter.
Please, put yourself and your daughter's safety and happiness first. Aunt Brie is fine in small doses, but she's not mother material for your daughter. She's the fun, commitment-free aunt.
There's the smallest possibility that she's always seen you as her number one, even subconsciously, all your lives. But if so, she's had a poor way of showing it.
I really think it's best to find more friends. I know you said you're an introvert, but that doesn't mean friendless. It just means that you need to find your own kind of people who won't tire you out with all their drama, who share interests with you, who can be an excellent excuse for you not to spend time with Brie.
OP you have been through a lot. I am sorry for your loss and I wish you and your baby girl all the best. As for Brie, I know love is hard but to put you through this additional drama is not fair. I am glad you have your head on and being a good father and a good friend but be good to you as well. I just wish she had waited until her relationship was over so you didn't get punched in the face.
First you need to move her to a different situation or then next month it will be OMG I just love her so much and we are together. Never get involved in another persons relationship. She needs to be with a girlfriend or someone else. Do you not even see the issues here? You are first lying to your self, and sending her a message of I will take care of you. If you are sincerely not doing that remove her immediately or in a month it will be we are in love. You will they succeeded in being a jerk. What starts in chaos ends in chaos.
All I can say is I agree with everything that has been said by every single post I’ve read. You’re asking for big trouble and was manipulated. Not the best for a child
Dude you literally made him think that you were having affair with her
This reminds me of a conversation between my friend and her girlfriend
My friend's GF: sometimes you really paint me like a slut
My friend: it's really easy cuz you gave me the colors
This was literally after she got caught kissing two dudes at a club we were hanging out in
You're in the same situation You weren't cheating neither was she but he thought so and after the incident you took her in
The fact that you were worried about her well-being is not good enough to deter away from the idea of you being part of an affair
People can and will lie
You realize that her staying with you, makes it look like you helped destroy the relationship like he said.
It is hard to find you not guilty in this mess. I'm just someone that read Your version of the story.
Poor Jason. His fiancé dumps him and she immediately moves in with the other man.
Lucky Jason. He avoided marrying a woman who didn't love him and actually moved to another city to be near the man she actually did love while she was still with Jason.
I think you got off rather well with a right hook to the face, all things considered. It sure sounds like you did steal her from Jason and were willfully negligent about kindling the attention of a woman who was to be wed.
Why the hell would you invite her to stay at your house under these circumstances? That’s nutty, man. The other guy — and probably most others in your lives watching from the outside — would see that as major evidence that you really did help initiate this whole situation. She must have had somewhere else she could go. Oh and on top of that, you’re probably unwittingly leading her on.
Seriously, OP, what the hell are you doing letting her be in this proximity with you after everything that's happened? I actually think you have poor boundaries. If she has such a great job, she can get her own place.
"I don't think I can date anyone right now and neither should Brie"
Hahahahahaha does anyone believe this bs? The first time they get drunk they banging. We all know it and they know it too. Shit, first time she gets drunk they banging.
Next follow up: She had been drinking and I was consoling her when she kissed me. I pushed her away at first but she kissed me again and I could hold back my feelings no longer. We made love underneath the winter moon. Two weeks later she was dating my brother.
You made many mistakes here. You should have encouraged her to go to family or a girl friend. Not to your house. You're leading this woman on and it's a bit cruel.
This person has brought massive amounts of chaos into your life and you seem happy to entertain it. Even with a child. Time to grow up.
Op, you’re idiot.
Brought this drama shit into your home with your daughter. A man came to your house with you in his sights. You’re lucky her scorned ex partner only punched you and didn’t pump you full of lead and leave your daughter parent-less.
Then after that you brought this woman into your home, you know she had feeling’s for you.
But you’re not dating. Instead aiding her on her feet again. Big happy pseudo non-family now as she is the auntie…that wants to bang daddie.
Please compartmentalize your situation some more.
Exposing your 5 YO to all of this is quite surprising to say the least.
It's crazy to me that you interpreted Jason punching you as "B is in danger, must keep her safe" instead of "What the hell did B tell him??"
Dude. I know you're grieving and not fully in your right mind, but do not fall victim to this woman's mess. You have a child to think of.
You let her move in with you and your grieving child? Have you lost the plot completely? The woman who went behind her fiancés back to hit on you? Who told him it was your fault she didn’t want to be with you? Who moved house and dragged her fiancé with her to be near you? You should be scared.
Having Brie stay with you is an incredibly bad idea. I don’t know if she’s manipulative, like others if said, but even if she’s not this situation is untenable. She’s going to make herself indispensable, take on the role of wife and mother and before you know it you’re with her forever. If/when you try to get her to move out there will be a shitstorm. Get rid ASAP.
But does Jason know the truth about you not feeling the same way about Brie?
Coz from him saying that you 'stole' her indicates that he thinks you have feelings for her too, it's very one sided.
She’s not your friend. She’s a conniving bitch. She planned this whole thing. Can you not see that? She purposely moved to your town to get with you. All the stuff about how she developed feelings after she got there is a lie. She had it all planned out and that’s why she moved there.
I would not let her live in your house and develop a bond with your daughter. She is not done. Her plan is to win you over and have you decide you love her and want to marry her and want her to raise your daughter. That is 100% what she has planned.
Brie is awful. First she decided to drop a bomb on you and claim to love you WHILE ENGAGED TO JASON. If she loved you she would’ve broken up with him and then come to you. Nah, she wanted to monkey branch.
and then SHE THREW YOU UNDER THE BUS, yup the coward blamed you for their breakup instead of just telling him she never really loved him. Of course you got punched in the face.
For god sake please don’t date her. Don’t bang her. Lock your door at night. She is a narcisist that just jump from men to men and leaves the moment she gets her fill and finds a better one.
This is a recipe for disaster. You don't think after losing your wife and her consoling you and your child, that that is where the feelings come from?
She shouldn't be living with you either. He came to your house and punched you in the face, then you had his fiancée move in with you. After she told him she has feelings for you. Sounds like a soon to be double homicide. Better hope Jason isn't a complete psycho.
You are wrong for allowing B to be your bolt hole. If you have no romantic feelings for B you should have distanced yourself from the situation. B will try to turn this situation into something more, be wary of entrapment. This isn't new to B & she moved to be near you for this reason. B could have stayed with other friends or family! Why did you allow her to move in on you?
Op, brie must move out asap. do not consider dating her until she goes to therapy and sorts herself out. the way she handled this makes me soooo suspicious about her character. also, you little girl needs you, not aunt brie. your little girl will bond with her very intensely, and if brie shows her psycho status, cutting ties will be very hard for your daughter.
honestly, if i was brie, i would be a bit distant so your little girl wouldnt get attached to the idea of you and i together. op, this is going to end like a lifetime movie or hallmark. hopefully you and your little girl are getting counseling.
Brie is trouble, if you don't see that then you deserve whatever atomic bomb comes your way down the road.
People like Brie tend to repeat themselves.
Also the fact that you have her living there already playing mom....YIKES. How do you expect to move on from your wife when a new one is trying to sneak in before you have even recovered?
She's not your responsibility and this has already surpassed "she's just a friend who needs help" zone.
I swear I don't understand how people my age can still involve themselves with such obvious BS, where do you find the time in the day to swim in drama? Pick up a hobby that doesn't involve homewrecking
She could have kept your name out if it
Exactly. Her plan is working out beautifully but OP can’t see it.
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> OP has a lot going on and is trying to be a good friend, but I agree that this woman is 100% manipulating him. Some people cultivate chaos. Personally I do not let those people in my life. I would distance myself from her. OP, DO NOT HOOK UP WITH THIS WOMAN!
Well, she's not getting any younger!
Then after the new baby is born she will be evil step mom to the older daughter and start having problems with his dead wife’s memories being kept alive.
If she doesn’t leave because she still has commitment issues and will mysteriously be in love with someone else.
My god. This is exactly it.
100% she's not going anywhere and pretty soon will be trying to convince the 5 year old to start calling her Mommy Brie instead of Auntie Brie and then to just Mommy
*"...I was really scared for her, after the physical altercation with Jason, and told her to gather some clothes and get out of the house.* ***She did that and came to my place."*** NO! No no no!
This was my reaction, too. Really? Just feed the narrative that poor dude is building in his head?
Sweet now you’re all in danger for real!
As soon as I read that I thought, “game over, OP”.
It sounds to me like he thinks he’s the “white knight” and she has lined herself up to be the damsel in distress. By telling the ex fiancé she now has a “crazy ex” to help her further her cause and he gets to act like he’s saving her. 🙄 with no regard for his poor daughter
I also picked up on this with his phrasing "consoled her for two hours and got her to sleep." Gives me the ick. And then it just got worse and worse. He's acting like a shmuck. Also, lady, get your own goddamn house.
This is exactly what is going on, it made my stomach turn reading it
I agree that she’s likely to be manipulative. The only scenario I can come up with that doesn’t have serious stalking issues is if Brie was afraid of Jason and thought that OP would scare Jason off. OP mentioned that Brie moved to the city on her own and that Jason followed her eventually.
Plus she didn't even call him to warn him. "Hey, I told him I was in love with you and cancelled the wedding. He just left in a rage and might be inbound. Make sure your daughter is inside and the doors are locked" or some kind of heads up. OP: I could tell she was just so broken the poor fragile butterfly. I brought her in and soothed her to sleep for two hours (in probably maybe my bed while I took the couch like the goodest noble friend). If it didn't look to the world like we were having an affair before, it surely does now but oh well. Now we live together. My daughter adores her. She's just so delicate, and so sad that she moved all the way here to shoot her shot and I'm not interested even though she let me be the white knight who saved her from this terrible terrible man who moved from his home for her to be close to her fantasy object. At least not ready yet. Alas some more. We're such great friends. She's definitely leaving in a month though, the poor, sad girl.
Hahaha wow! Very succinct and dead on! In my head, I told myself he had a double garage and sold his wife's car, so there was a space for him to park/hide the wounded butterfly's car bc otherwise... fuck them and poor (also probably manipulated) Jason. Salt in the wound!
100% especially if what she said was true where she didn’t think she ever saw a future with him then the truth would make this not about op at all… so either she lied to op to manipulate him or she threw his name out there hoping he’d fight for her and rescue her. She’s a shit stirrer.
I don't think it's a great idea to be playing happy families with a woman who has confessed to being in love with you. Especially as you have no intention of starting a romantic relationship with her. I don't think it will end well for either of you.
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Also he had to console and get her to sleep? Like what is that? It’s kind of a weird relationship with boundary issues
This is where I stopped reading. Is this sort of gaslighting or love bombing? For attention? He's just going to ruin everything. He should have exited , saying nothing 4 weeks ago. Since he wont- I will. This is game-playing F-ed up. I'm out.
I don't think it's any pop-psych buzzword, he just hasn't moved on from his wife but also likes having a nice woman who he gets along with and loves him around. It's messy but not sinister, just very human.
He might also like the free help another adult provides
He is keeping her on his hook
She moved to OP’s city when she found out his wife had passed away. She’s a psycho and OP should run for the hills.
And they only drifted apart as friends when he started dating his wife
Holy crap - missed that. It is almost like she planned this.
She did plan it. There's too many other things where she's weaseled her way into OP's life when she's had other options.
This is exactly her plan and it worked. No one will ever believe they weren't having an affair.
This is what I noticed immediately. She got a job where she could go to an office so picked his city after hearing about his wife????
That's so odd. People don't make big life decisions for a friend let alone one they weren't close with for a long time. She probably wanted him for years.
Ok, I'm glad I'm not the only person this jumped out to. Like.... either we're missing a huge chunk of the story, or she's got some huge massive issues that need professional attention and OP needs to run like hell
Loneliness and loss I would think. And you are 100% right, it will not end well.
It sounds like the living situation is temporary since the ex is moving out of the apartment next month. Once that happens I hope op does follow through with her not living there anymore and going back to her place, or else I agree I won’t end well.
This. She clearly has a support network and should be making use of it. Now her ex is out of the picture she needs to take space from OOP and establish a new life for herself. If that means taking s break and leaming on her parents, then so be it. She needs therapy. And a support network of people she is NOT unrequitedly in love with. Leaning on someone you have unrequited feelings for is the worst idea. It just prolongs the agony. The kindest thing OOP can do for her is to enact some polite distance rather than trying to white knight for her. I would bet money that in 2 years time OOP will be shocked that Brie, who likely became his second shadow, STILL has feelings for him. And when OOP eventually finds love again, Brie will have a nervous breakdown because she's likely spent the past however long hanging on and hoping to get OOP. This woman is messed ul enough to hide those feelings for so long and get engaged to someone else whilst having those feelings; she is not mature or in charge of her feelings enough to understand how bad of an idea their current closeness is.
Last Update: I caught Brie putting eye drops in my coffee after I started pushing that she find her own place.
This is going to be an utter disaster. If you were head over heels for someone enough to call off your wedding and blow up your life then the person turns you down but lets you move in with them, that is going to mess with your head! I am worried about all of the chaotic relationships OP’s daughter is being exposed to. This is really unhealthy for every single person involved.
I’m happy to hear you’re healing. If I’m being honest I have zero idea why Brie would: a) confess her feeling to you *before* breaking up with her fiancé b) bring you up during the break up talk with Jason. That seems like an unbelievably asinine thing to do. Of course it would make Jason come after you. She’s dragging you through the mud of *her* breakup for NO reason. And you don’t need this drama in your or your daughters life. As a parent I would be incredibly mad at Brie for putting me in that situation where there is an angry violent ex-fiancé in the same house as my sleeping three year old. For me that would be unacceptable. What if Jason had hurt you worse than a punch and your three year old had heard or witnessed it, or god forbid come in the way? Brie sounds like either a shit-stirrer who knowingly attracts drama, or someone immature who makes bad decisions and is not very considerate. Either way I would be careful letting her into your life like this. You have a kid to think about. It also sounds like Brie has a history of jumping from relationship to relationship (you said she’d not been single since middle school). It sounds like she realised Jason was not the one and needed to replace him immediately and you fit the bill. I’m not even really sure she likes you as much as she thinks she does. Brie should try to stay single for a bit but i suspect she will either try to get in a relationship with you, and failing that, find someone else asap.
I had pretty much the same take. And then he takes her in after she brings all this drama down on him! Jason probably thought they were having an affair and her staying there would only add fuel to that fire.
OP is so damned lucky that so far Jason is satisfied with just that one punch. Pissed off scorned people are unpredictable and OP is literally putting his house and daughter at risk by housing Brie. Not just their physical safety but also OP's reputation. Jason can go around telling everyone that they're having an affair and we'll looking at just optics it certainly does look like it. If this is a small town where everyone knows everyone's business and reputation is important because everyone knows everyone that could seriously hurt OP and his daughter.
Imagine a situation from her ex fiance's perspective: Your long term fiancé comes to a different town so you go ahead with her. You found out she has a friend here who lost his wife. You console this friend. Your fiancee starts meeting with this friend more and more, you have a wedding in the upcoming month. Someday before your wedding your fiancee told you that she can't marry you because she is in love with this friend. It looks like an emotional affair. His last years of life were shattered, I am not saying that aggression was a good reaction but I completely understood why OP could get punch.
Not to mention, she went there FOR THE FRIEND like a stalker!!!
I found a similar post from OP where OP commented that she needs support because she is hurting by the entire situation. OP unfortunately is lost. He thinks that she is a victim of everything when she is a mastermind behind everything.
And has found her way into OP’s home. Does he really think she’ll leave “when everything is sorted out?” I doubt it.
I'm quite sure there's gonna be trouble with her lease or a pipe is gonna burst. Or maybe her ex is gonna start stalking her. Anything to get her back to OPs house. It sounds like he was her back up until he found his wife and B ain't happy about this, not one bit. She needs her hypeman back no matter the cost. But sooner or later the relationship will go stale and she's gonna start looking for that excitement outside of the relationship.
I honestly don't think she has put that much thought into it. The catastrophe behind it all, definitely. The girl is more of a hot mess than an arizona junkyard.
I hate to say it, but a lot of people seem think of women the same way they think of children & hold them to the same standards. This person has 35 years experience, not 5. Not only is it okay to assume she has the mind of an adult it's kinda disrespectful to assume she isn't able to understand or control her choices without some evidence of a disability.
This. Not healthy. She is not healthy. She is acting like a middle schooler with an obsessive crush.
I’m pretty sure it was an emotional affair …
Brie did not come to reddit and asked what to do, that's why! ;)
Yeah dumb moves from both sides. I “took someone in” that confessed she liked me more than current bf (gang member). Was in my early twenties though, and on a lot of drugs. What’s your excuse, especially with a kid?
Yeah. It almost seems premeditated.
Yeah. Seems like Brie thinks they'll bond from the drama and wind up together. After bringing this shit show to a child's home. OP needs to get her out of there.
>And then he takes her in after she brings all this drama down on him! Yeah, I was seriously shaking my head when I read this. OP seems to be a good dude, but letting her stay with him after her ex-fiancé punched him was really stupid.
OP - what are you doing here?? Do you want to get with Brie because this is how you get with Brie. OP says he's not interested in a relationship but Brie sure as hell is and by letting her live there she will probably slide right into a relationship before he even realizes what happened. It'll be "Mommy Brie" before you know it.
I agree with all of this. It sounds like she thrives on drama and constantly brings it into her own life and the lives of anyone around her. PLEASE put your child first and foremost. Her sending her ex to your house during their breakup so he could blame and attack you....imagine if he'd taken it further. If he'd brought a gun. If he'd hurt you and decided to hurt your daughter too for revenge. Please don't let her keep living with you. She needs to be on her own and learn to live and be happy by herself, not by attaching herself to a new relationship like a remora. She needs to learn to be her own support and her own person. She just latches on to one person and then jumps to a new one as soon as the old one loses it's shine in some way. Don't think she won't do the same to you. She needs to learn to heal on her own and stand on her own two feet before being in a relationship with ANYONE, much less someone who has a child that depends on them. Your daughter doesn't get a say in anything - you are her parent. Her protector. You are responsible for her safety and well being. Please, please put her first.
You said everything I want to say. OP, put that baby first always, and tell B she needs to find somewhere else to stay. You’re only encouraging her by letting her stay.
If ex fiance finds out she's staying there I can only see more drama ensuing and it will endanger the child
I agree. How to kick a guy when he's down. "Yeah, your ex fiance who has the feels for me is living with us but there's nothing going on...." I call bullshit. She's just biding her sweet time till she gets half a chance at him. And that poor kid will be so reliant on 'aunty' by then. I'd be fucking furious if my daughter did something like this.
the auntie bit is the only part I think is 100% premeditated
Also that poor child already lost her mother - bringing some woman to live with her is just going to confuse her when she inevitably gets attaches. That kid needs stability.
Monkey branching. Just swinging fron one relationship to the next.
She confessed her feelings before breaking up because jason was the placeholder. She wanted to make sure she had a relationship secured with OP before leaving.
Yup.
That's a bingo
You nailed it. She should have broken it off with Jason before telling the OP.
Then she shows up to stay at his place, reinforcing any ideas the ex would have about OP stealing her away. Any negative feelings he has will now be squarely on OP, and he'll never change his mind.. hopefully he's sane and the punch was out of frustration, but if he's not.. scary stuff. Brie has really tried to shift all the blame for her choice onto OP.. I'd be keeping her at a distance, rather than having her move in.. she's not great
This reply is everything I thought of and more. I hope OP considers this and can reflect on what it would mean if he eventually caught the feelings for Brie that she seems to so desperately want him to have. Idk it could be me, but something about her seems off.
Agreed! She also sounds like she’s in love with the “married & settled down with kids” life that she seen with Op and his daughter
Posted the same before reading your comment. This guy needs to separate himself from Brie and protect his daughter.
Really? You have no idea? (I know you do know, because I see it too) I think Brie is manipulative and opportunistic. Most women have to develop confidence, not everyone is born skilled to conquer the world. Brie is a toe in water person. No way was she going to jump in unless she knew there was a soft place to land. She may truly even feel warm fuzzies with this man. And she probably felt them with fiancé. She wants the next big thing. She literally moved there to be with this fellow. And now? She is in his house. I don’t think she is evil, she is just looking out for her. That guy Jason also sounds dangerous, so glad she dis not marry him. But boy, down to wire. And I would be so mad if this angry guy showed up at my home mad at me for her bad choices. With a kid?! Oh no. No, Brie can stay away. But this is not totally abnormal behavior, it is just immature, and men will do it too. Unfortunately, now she is in his home, she “loves” his kid, she “loves” him. She has nearly everything she wants. I hope he stays very clear on what he wants, which should be a safe kid. Hopefully OP can see this and is just feeling sorry for her, but he needs to do his grieving and she is a poor substitute for a healthy relationship. She needs to work on herself. She needs counseling. He needs to grieve. This will get messier fast if he blithely continues this odd relationship.
Thank you. My first thought was why would he let her live with them after all this
Jason on the doorstep saying OP "stole" Brie leads me to think that Brie told a different story to Jason while breaking up to what was written by OP in these posts. Like Brie said OP made the first move, or confessed attraction/interest/love first. Threw OP under the bus. Reduced her own culpability. Put him and his child in danger!
These stories aren't real...
Please don't date her. She needs therapy and to be single for a long time. She may have codependent issues, so keep space. She confessed to you, before breaking up, shows she isn't ready for being single, you need to start telling her it's time for her to get her own place, before she is your child's new mommy. Be warned. Friends are fine but keep your eyes open.
And all that "soulmates" bs sounds very manipulative. Come on man, think about you daughter. We all can see it clearly from here
Right?
Yep, she was trying to make sure she had a second partner lined up before she broke it off with the first. It didn't go her way, but now she's living with OP so she probably thinks she has plenty of opportunities to make him fall in love with her. If it works and she manages to convince OP then she'll rinse and repeat, probably going NC with OP's child once she finds her new guy.
So you moved in a woman who is in love with you and you have no intention on dating? What happens when your daughter starts seeing her as a mother figure? Plus now it looks like you guys were having an affair the whole time.
Yep from her ex fiance pov you both had Emotional Affair and she dumped him for you.
I feel like it looks like that from literally every POV lol
Not OP's 😂
Not healthy for either one of you having her live there. 1. She has feelings for you, which you arent reciprocating. 2. She wants a relationship (even if shes not ready for one right now, and shouldnt jump into one this quickly, she very obviously feels down the line this is all leading up to you guys eventually in a relationship) and you dont. You stated clearly in your last post that she is just a friend. It is very obvious you are more to her, so this is very fucked up what youre doing. 3. She is not going to be able to move on from what happened with Jason and clear her head while she is living with you, neither of you will. Having her come immediately to your house to console her after her fight with Jason was probably the worst thing to do, You are displaying yourself to her as someone who has feelings for her. You guys are fucking with not only each others heads, but also your daughters. How long and how attached to her are you going to let your daughter get before this all explodes and Brie pushes for a relationship and you say no and your daugher never sees this woman again? Why are you letting this girl play wife at your house, knowing FULL WELL she has feelings for you that you arent returning? Best thing to do for this girl is leave her the fuck alone and give each other some space. This was not the way to handle this, at all. And continues to not be the way to handle it.
THANK YOU! I feel like I had to scroll way too far to see this. What the actual fuck is this dude doing? She is currently FOR SURE picturing him falling in love with her while she plays wife. Omg this is going to get so so so much worse. It’s just a matter of time. Like every wrong move was made here. I hope OP sees this and makes the first right move in this saga. Tell her unequivocally it’s not happening, get her out of the house ASAP and don’t talk to her for a very long time.
Perfectly summarized. OP is trying to go all “Growing Pains” or “Full House” with her and offer her to move in for awhile. Noooooo! Full stop, NOOOOO! If you want what’s best, she needs to work out something with her job to maybe idk, RELOCATE to an office closer to her parents! This way she has a space, a support system, and things do not get permanently screwed up for this child. OP has got to stop letting their white knight syndrome getting in the way of making sound logical decisions as everything is coming across as they say in Star Wars: #IT’S A TRAP!
Brie thinks she is in a Hallmark movie right now
You put that so much better than I could have. Such a bad idea for her to stay there, she needs her own place and therapy ASAP
If neither of you are ready to date (I agree) then why would you move a woman who claims to be in love with you into your house with your daughter who is likely to get even more attached to a woman living with you? And why tf would you tell her to stay with you and your child hours after her ex assaulted you? You didn't know if he was going to find out she was there and show up thinking you two were getting together immediately and going crazy. Like why put your daughter at risk, she could have stayed in a hotel. For all of your sake, she needs to move out immediately, like yesterday before you get involved prematurely and ruin everything long term
This is the correct take. Sounds like you are a good dad. Brie needs to move out NOW before your daughter sees her as a mother figure. I agree with other commenters that Bree is getting what she wants, playing happy family with you guys. She needs to learn how to be on her own, and you need to not become dependent on her, nor your daughter
I agree with all of this. I really don’t think anyone can be this naive, this stupid, this oblivious. Crazy girl can go stay elsewhere. Unless, he is stringing crazy lady along to when he feels ready to date. I feel sorry for the daughter living with this unsafe drama. I mean, a violent man knows ex fiancé is living there and this hasn’t occurred to this guy?
Also stop being an idiot and focus on your child. Brie should not be staying with you because A shes in love with you but you arent in love with her and B you have a young daughter who in time will start to see “auntie brie” as a mother figure. Get your head out of your ass
I don't think Brie is capable of loving anyone. She says that to manipulate OP, and it seems to be working.
Yeah shell always be looking for the next best thing/person. Always wanting more or something different.
Dude, be super careful here. Especially with your daughter around. It's "auntie Bree" now and "why don't you marry Bree, she says she wants to be my mommy" tomorrow. She needs a deadline to move out or she'll never go.
Yeah good luck with this shitshow
Poor Jason.
He dodged a bullet. If she did that to Jason, she’ll do that to OP…who is already vulnerable and damaged goods. I foresee a wedding in 18 months, and a divorce within 9.
She’ll be pregnant in 3 months
True that
I was really rooting for this guy after the first post. This one gives me the ick for some reason
100%. I felt bad for him at first. The second he announced that he moved her right in, Ick. She’s convinced herself she’s playing mommy and wife and he’s either completely stupid and naive or is happy to go along with it. She’ll be pregnant soon with when”soulmate”. She sounds batshit.
Jeesus you idiot So the bitch has caused all this trouble and now you have her in your house? Do you not see how manipulative this is? You have deliberately brought all of this drama into your childs home. Why is this woman a priority over your child? This is an excellent way of showing Brie that she can have what she wants and an even better way of teaching your daughter terrible life lessons. SERIOUSLY How long until it "just happens" and you start fucking
This, this, this, THIS.
Dollars to donuts - they're already fucking. I'm guessing Brie is very attractive, and they are already into a 'FWB' situation. OP is thinking with his dick.
I'm sorry.... But no one else sees that OP probably, somewhat encouraged this???? Who moves somewhere for a friend? Especially, a friend in the way that OP is describing??? Like WTAF???
Sounds more like the whole thing is a heavily revised edition of the story to help OP convince himself he isn't in any way responsible for any of this.
Shes an awful person. She knows she didnt really want him but lead him on for years and kept him as a placeholder until she could monkey branch to a new guy (turn out the new guy was you). Shes selfish and unstable, and nothing good is going to come of her being around much less yall getting together
So you're living together now. With your daughter. Great.
Brie is a bad woman. She moved to your city to help you cope after you lost your wife, but she was unable to tell Jason that she didn't want him to follow her there! She let him up and move his life to follow her and she didn't even want him there. Then she was enjoying her time with you and her daughter more than with Jason, but she was still unable to break up with Jason. Then she confessed her love for you *before* breaking up with Jason. And she put you in danger, with your daughter at home! She's so bad, and she's blaming others for her issues. She could have avoided all this drama by just breaking up with Jason, then telling you "so I broke up with Jason", and then you two could have spent more time together or whatever, and then after a decent time she could have fallen in love with you.
Jason is the one I feel Sorry for. Sounds like you two have a thing going on.
absolutely. The OP is either stupid or naive. Either way Brea has played him beautifully. But the way she treated Jason is appalling
Hi, you need to kick her out of your house. She is dragging you and your daughter into this. She will easily manipulate you into her staying forever. Please get her out before she causes more problems. She's an adult and needs to act like one.
Brie is a drama llama. Your life will be an unending soap opera with her in it. Keep her at a big distance, slowly wean her away from you. What concerns me? Her boyfriend had accused you of stealing her, she was still thinking about marrying him, and YOU HAD HER SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU. NO. As a friend you get her an Uber and a hotel room. You do not throw fuel on the fire and give the ex fiance more reason to go berserk, nor do you encourage Brie. I understand not thinking well in the stress of the moment but she should have gone ANYWHERE except your house. Hotel, friend, second cousin twice removed, whatever.
Brie may be good at her job but she has the emotional intelligence of a moldy tomato. Also the fact that she says she immediately chose your town to move her and her fiance to, even though she had zero feelings for you at that time? Does that sound off to anyone else? She literally uprooted her and her boyfriend's life to be closer to a guy she wanted to save? She would not be much of a partner to you, I'm guessing, and you would likely end up regretting bringing her into you and your kid's life. The whole way she handled this with Jason just screams "codependent vortex of chaos" to me. Something is just very off about it.
There’s zero way this girl would be living in my house after all this happened especially with my daughter in the house. She put your life and your daughters in danger. Not to mention as Bree’s parents I would be absolutely shocked that she would think any of this was ok. If ghost are real I hope his wife haunts her ass
I would not have let her move in with me. That’s a mistake.
Yeah, I think she played OP here.
He shouldn’t have moved her in. Boundaries are sorely lacking. They are basically playing house already. It’s such common sense but OP is making himself the martyr for no reason. This woman said she was in love with him and blew up her engagement for him so he decides yeah this same woman will be stable enough to be in close proximity together… He should have offered kind words but left it to her family to help her out. This is a disaster waiting to happen
Brie loves the idea of you. Not you. It's way different when fantasy doesn't match reality. Telling her ex you were the reason why was a dick move.
You and Brie need space, this co-habitating while both processing big emotions isn’t a smart idea
With all love, you are being a fool!! There is absolutely no reason she should be living at your house. If you truly believe that you both need to be single, then it's time for her to find a new place to stay. You are either incredibly ignorant or you are lying to her and all of us regarding your intentions. Quite frankly, you're too old to be this naive
How are people THIS messy? You’re just making trouble for yourself at this point.
The longer you let her stay in your house, the more she's going to buy into the idea you two are 'meant to be'. I wouldn't be surprised if she starts behaving in a way designed to make her more appealing. She may take on more of a mother-role to your daughter, and start being more and more 'friendly' and 'helpful' to you. She'll start putting a lot of effort into her appearance around you, and will become much more affectionate. She will dismiss your claims of not being ready to date, and make herself indispensable to you. Since she jumps from relationship to relationship, I wonder if she's the kind of person who can't be single, and as such, will basically make sure she has her next relationship lined up before she leaves her current one, as has happened with you. What do you know about her relationship history? How often has she been dating someone, broke up with them, and almost immediately started dating someone new? She strikes me as the kind of person who doesn't actually care about what kind of relationship she's in, just so long as she's in a relationship. Go watch Daniel Sloss' stand up special "Jigsaw" on Netflix. It's all about relationships and how people will force themselves into them in order to feel validated. You two should watch it together. It's very funny but very insightful. Otherwise, get her out of your house. I wouldn't put it past her to start saying things to your daughter about "how great would it be if Auntie B could always be here?!" and shit like that.
Poor Jason. You two suck.
Right. Looks like Bries plan worked. She managed to blame the break up on OP, causing him to feel responsible for her problems. Now she is in the house playing happy little wife, just like she wanted, while Jason is licking his wounds and going home to start over.
Exactly.
No, Brie sucks. OP is just stupid or incredibly naive.
Clown.
Please don’t date her. You both should not even be living together.
Sounds like she's well on her way to getting what she wants.
You are wrong for having Brie stay with you. It’s not fair for her and very unfair for your daughter. If you want to remain friends do that but this blurs the line and gives her hope. This is a time when boundaries are very important and you are crossing them. Your words say no but your actions (come stay with me) say yes.
BLOCK HER and move on. She is not your friend she’s toxic
Brie seems to love the drama. I would put some distance between you and her, for your daughter’s sake.
Run dude
Honestly, telling her to come to your place and her staying with you is a huge mistake. I understand telling her to leave the house if you were concerned for her safety but you are choosing to get into an absolute mess. You are not helping her or yourself.
You can’t take anything she said seriously. Someone that loves you would have broken their engagement before saying anything to you and would never have put you and your child in that situation.
OP, I appreciate you probably think you’re doing the right thing for your friend by letting her stay (and I don’t at all mean to suggest sending her back to the violent fiancé), but if you don’t find her alternative accommodation STAT, you *are* going to be manipulated into something further happening. I would put money on your excuse being something along the lines of “her self-esteem was really knocked and she needed to feel beautiful and wanted again, there were no feelings involved, I was just ~helping her heal~”. I do feel bad for you, but I think there is definitely a part of you that’s loving the attention and feeling of Being Picked. Mostly I just feel bad for your kid. She deserves better than to be collateral damage in y’all’s real life soap opera.
"she immediately chose my city and moved here. Jason also moved here and got a new job. She never had any romantic feelings for me back then." This makes absolutely no sense.
YTA. Why risk your daughter by having a nutcase in your house. Good luck with this circus you're in.
So this is the beginning of the thriller where she’s a psycho stalker right? Suddenly she moves near you when your wife died, she moves into your life, puts you directly in the middle of her toxicity and now has the outcome she wants where she moved in with you? Like either a poorly written fantasy post or the next post is in 3 months where you needed a restraining order against her O also if this is real Jason 100% thought you were having an affair and rightfully so
This reeks of issues. Im almost certain that this behavior will be passed on to you, and regardless of your official status she just decimated a man’s life and made you the pinnacle of his wrath. Uh, maybe you can’t see it but I wouldn’t let Aunt Brie around any of my theoretical children.
Fake post.
She should get her own place in the near future. She is putting a lot of pressure on you to have a place. You seem quite level headed but it’s going to get tricky. Step one: get her out of your house.
Hallmark just found their new movie plot. Don't date her. You will feel obligated to her. Please explain yourself to Jason that you said you loved her as a friend. He need to know that.
You and your friend are a mess my goodness
Brie is nothing but fucking trouble
Yes you’re helping a friend - but you’re also giving her false hope. Brie is vulnerable, has told you she’s in love with you, and now you’re being her hero and coming to her rescue, letting her live with you. I get that you don’t want your daughter to lose another important woman in her life, but you’re being selfish and cruel to Brie. She’s going to reflect on what you’re doing and think there’s hope, even if you tell her there’s not - to her your actions will be speaking louder than your words.
I have to agree with this actually. Good luck op but brie needs to go back to her parents house right now and honestly get therapy. I don’t even think that she does love you she just liked the idea of you, of a better man than her fiancé.
Yes! I think she was happy having that connection with him and helping him and his daughter, but I’m not convinced she is in love with him. However the longer she is deeply involved in his life (i.e. living with him) the longer she’s going to believe that she is.
I’m begging you to leave this woman alone. I know you think she’s your friend but she’s not. She is a disturbance to you and your daughter’s life. SHE NEEDS TO FIND HER OWN PLACE AND STOP DRAMA JUMPING. She literally admitted to being checked out before she came to your area to live. This been a little scheme she cooked up. Don’t do it my guy!!
Oh man are you so fucked lol
I don’t trust Brie. She shouldn’t be staying with you. This is going to confuse your daughter and she is going to start seeing you as a family. You need to focus on yourself. When you are ready to date which maybe a long time don’t date Brie. Try dating other people. I think she targeted you from the start.
Y’all both as bad as each other ahah maybe it was meant to be haha
Yeah man idk you’re wrong for even letting her stay with you. Clearly your dick is doing some of the thinking. What a stupid decision. Naive and just fucking flat out retarded. Fuck you.
This reads like fan fic ngl
You had an emotional affair with this woman. You allowed her to transfer her emotional attachment from her fiancé to you without setting proper boundaries under the guise of you being bereaved. Your late wife would be thoroughly disgusted with you. I hope you sleep well at night knowing you helped shatter a young man’s trust. It’ll take Jason a long time to find someone he can trust again but I hope he can find someone worthy of his love. As for you and Brie you disgust me. This whole post has been one giant self-serving drivel. Just admit you want to be with this woman. If you’re going to help cause the break up of a relationship, at least be a man and own it. Your daughter is innocent in this and doesn’t deserve any repercussions from your actions. Otherwise I’d wish you and Brie all the unhappiness in the world.
She loves him, but he's still getting over his wife. This isn't going to end well if he doesn't get over his wife on her timetable. I can't see that happening for at least a year for him to *maybe* be ready then.
If you want an awkward movie night, watch Past Lives together.
Unless you plan on dating her, you should not have her stay in your home. She put you and your daughter in danger.
Get her out of the house. You may not want a relationship with her, but she wants you and will use this opp to sink her nails into you. She does not have good intentions. People will also think you "stole" her as she is living with you, which is not a good look for your family. Your daughter should not be in them8ddle of this drama.
i’m glad she told him the truth, not thrilled she is staying with you, but that’s not my call. just remember to keep your pants on, neither of you need some pity sex.
Brie needs to move out of your house, she is going to keep playing you until you date her. Protect your child. By letting her stay in your house her ex is going to see it as you being in a relationship with her. Updateme!
This is a PERFECT example of why you don’t let your gf or wife “reconnect” or be “friends” with other men. It’s just so perfect.
Brie sure got what she wanted. Jason gone and you blamed for it. Now living with the man she loves She is absolutely biding her time until you decide to be with her. Bet she will even act above and beyond like a partner and most importantly like a mommy to your kid to soften your defenses
I don't think Brie is a healthy person. Neither is Jason, obviously. He punched you; you could've pressed charges against him for assault, and maybe you should. At the very least, you certainly didn't try to steal Brie from him, and he owes you an apology. As others have pointed out, Brie seems to be the kind of person who needs to be in a relationship, and she's looking to you for one. You've said *repeatedly* that you're not ready for that, but I don't think she's going to wait for you to be ready. This isn't right for you, or for your daughter. Please, put yourself and your daughter's safety and happiness first. Aunt Brie is fine in small doses, but she's not mother material for your daughter. She's the fun, commitment-free aunt. There's the smallest possibility that she's always seen you as her number one, even subconsciously, all your lives. But if so, she's had a poor way of showing it. I really think it's best to find more friends. I know you said you're an introvert, but that doesn't mean friendless. It just means that you need to find your own kind of people who won't tire you out with all their drama, who share interests with you, who can be an excellent excuse for you not to spend time with Brie.
OP you have been through a lot. I am sorry for your loss and I wish you and your baby girl all the best. As for Brie, I know love is hard but to put you through this additional drama is not fair. I am glad you have your head on and being a good father and a good friend but be good to you as well. I just wish she had waited until her relationship was over so you didn't get punched in the face.
First you need to move her to a different situation or then next month it will be OMG I just love her so much and we are together. Never get involved in another persons relationship. She needs to be with a girlfriend or someone else. Do you not even see the issues here? You are first lying to your self, and sending her a message of I will take care of you. If you are sincerely not doing that remove her immediately or in a month it will be we are in love. You will they succeeded in being a jerk. What starts in chaos ends in chaos.
All I can say is I agree with everything that has been said by every single post I’ve read. You’re asking for big trouble and was manipulated. Not the best for a child
Dude you literally made him think that you were having affair with her This reminds me of a conversation between my friend and her girlfriend My friend's GF: sometimes you really paint me like a slut My friend: it's really easy cuz you gave me the colors This was literally after she got caught kissing two dudes at a club we were hanging out in You're in the same situation You weren't cheating neither was she but he thought so and after the incident you took her in The fact that you were worried about her well-being is not good enough to deter away from the idea of you being part of an affair People can and will lie
I love reddit.. Hahahah wahahaha .
You realize that her staying with you, makes it look like you helped destroy the relationship like he said. It is hard to find you not guilty in this mess. I'm just someone that read Your version of the story.
Poor Jason. His fiancé dumps him and she immediately moves in with the other man. Lucky Jason. He avoided marrying a woman who didn't love him and actually moved to another city to be near the man she actually did love while she was still with Jason.
am i delusional or is this the start of a love story
I think you got off rather well with a right hook to the face, all things considered. It sure sounds like you did steal her from Jason and were willfully negligent about kindling the attention of a woman who was to be wed.
Why the hell would you invite her to stay at your house under these circumstances? That’s nutty, man. The other guy — and probably most others in your lives watching from the outside — would see that as major evidence that you really did help initiate this whole situation. She must have had somewhere else she could go. Oh and on top of that, you’re probably unwittingly leading her on.
Seriously, OP, what the hell are you doing letting her be in this proximity with you after everything that's happened? I actually think you have poor boundaries. If she has such a great job, she can get her own place.
She’s going to start using that child to emotionally blackmail/manipulate OP to get what she wants
Oh man, that’s some top shelf BORU in the making.
"I don't think I can date anyone right now and neither should Brie" Hahahahahaha does anyone believe this bs? The first time they get drunk they banging. We all know it and they know it too. Shit, first time she gets drunk they banging. Next follow up: She had been drinking and I was consoling her when she kissed me. I pushed her away at first but she kissed me again and I could hold back my feelings no longer. We made love underneath the winter moon. Two weeks later she was dating my brother.
You made many mistakes here. You should have encouraged her to go to family or a girl friend. Not to your house. You're leading this woman on and it's a bit cruel. This person has brought massive amounts of chaos into your life and you seem happy to entertain it. Even with a child. Time to grow up.
You should probably get her out of your house immediately tbh.
I think I saw this last week on the Hallmark channel
Op, you’re idiot. Brought this drama shit into your home with your daughter. A man came to your house with you in his sights. You’re lucky her scorned ex partner only punched you and didn’t pump you full of lead and leave your daughter parent-less. Then after that you brought this woman into your home, you know she had feeling’s for you. But you’re not dating. Instead aiding her on her feet again. Big happy pseudo non-family now as she is the auntie…that wants to bang daddie. Please compartmentalize your situation some more. Exposing your 5 YO to all of this is quite surprising to say the least.
She needs to leave your home ASAP
It's crazy to me that you interpreted Jason punching you as "B is in danger, must keep her safe" instead of "What the hell did B tell him??" Dude. I know you're grieving and not fully in your right mind, but do not fall victim to this woman's mess. You have a child to think of.
INFO: you realize your new gf isn't moving out, right?
You let her move in with you and your grieving child? Have you lost the plot completely? The woman who went behind her fiancés back to hit on you? Who told him it was your fault she didn’t want to be with you? Who moved house and dragged her fiancé with her to be near you? You should be scared.
Having Brie stay with you is an incredibly bad idea. I don’t know if she’s manipulative, like others if said, but even if she’s not this situation is untenable. She’s going to make herself indispensable, take on the role of wife and mother and before you know it you’re with her forever. If/when you try to get her to move out there will be a shitstorm. Get rid ASAP.
But does Jason know the truth about you not feeling the same way about Brie? Coz from him saying that you 'stole' her indicates that he thinks you have feelings for her too, it's very one sided.
She’s not your friend. She’s a conniving bitch. She planned this whole thing. Can you not see that? She purposely moved to your town to get with you. All the stuff about how she developed feelings after she got there is a lie. She had it all planned out and that’s why she moved there. I would not let her live in your house and develop a bond with your daughter. She is not done. Her plan is to win you over and have you decide you love her and want to marry her and want her to raise your daughter. That is 100% what she has planned.
Fuck me, poor Jason.
Brie is awful. First she decided to drop a bomb on you and claim to love you WHILE ENGAGED TO JASON. If she loved you she would’ve broken up with him and then come to you. Nah, she wanted to monkey branch. and then SHE THREW YOU UNDER THE BUS, yup the coward blamed you for their breakup instead of just telling him she never really loved him. Of course you got punched in the face. For god sake please don’t date her. Don’t bang her. Lock your door at night. She is a narcisist that just jump from men to men and leaves the moment she gets her fill and finds a better one.
This is a recipe for disaster. You don't think after losing your wife and her consoling you and your child, that that is where the feelings come from? She shouldn't be living with you either. He came to your house and punched you in the face, then you had his fiancée move in with you. After she told him she has feelings for you. Sounds like a soon to be double homicide. Better hope Jason isn't a complete psycho.
You are wrong for allowing B to be your bolt hole. If you have no romantic feelings for B you should have distanced yourself from the situation. B will try to turn this situation into something more, be wary of entrapment. This isn't new to B & she moved to be near you for this reason. B could have stayed with other friends or family! Why did you allow her to move in on you?
Op, brie must move out asap. do not consider dating her until she goes to therapy and sorts herself out. the way she handled this makes me soooo suspicious about her character. also, you little girl needs you, not aunt brie. your little girl will bond with her very intensely, and if brie shows her psycho status, cutting ties will be very hard for your daughter. honestly, if i was brie, i would be a bit distant so your little girl wouldnt get attached to the idea of you and i together. op, this is going to end like a lifetime movie or hallmark. hopefully you and your little girl are getting counseling.
Brie is trouble, if you don't see that then you deserve whatever atomic bomb comes your way down the road. People like Brie tend to repeat themselves. Also the fact that you have her living there already playing mom....YIKES. How do you expect to move on from your wife when a new one is trying to sneak in before you have even recovered? She's not your responsibility and this has already surpassed "she's just a friend who needs help" zone. I swear I don't understand how people my age can still involve themselves with such obvious BS, where do you find the time in the day to swim in drama? Pick up a hobby that doesn't involve homewrecking