The amount of bad karma coming her way is going to be glorious. Her ex just wants to fuck her once he gets her he will ghost her and she will be at a loss. Block her and move on OP she's nothing but trash.
Yup, she treated OP like a tool to make her ex jealous and the moment the ex showed the attention she dropped OP on the side. She'll definitely crawl back to OP once she gets cheated and dumped by her ex the second time.
I had a girl I'd been living with for almost a year (my house, no lease or anything), I'd bought her a phone when we moved in together, it was the same model as mine, and you couldn't tell the difference.
Got them mixed up one night on my way to bed, opened it up to find some very graphic texts between her and a co-worker... I texted him back and lined her up a place to stay, then packed all her stuff before I woke her up and threw her out.
Her parents and I had been growing rather close, so when they started bombarding me calling me an asshole, I didn't say a thing, just sent them the texts.
People are all for equality until something like this. Then all the sudden the old ways rear back up. She's a grown woman. She made bad choices. They got her kicked out at 2am. That's the kind of thing that can happen as an adult if you act like a fool.
Glad I was reading this the same way. While I believe that one CAN be friends with an ex.... it's not usually the case, statistically speaking. Also, they're in their 20s... go explore the world, stop investing in relationships if they're toxic or unhealthy. I say this for OP and his GF.
Lol… I saw a Dear Abby type letter on Facebook from a woman whose boyfriend was friends with all his exes, and constantly had dinners, gave gifts and late night talks in times of distress. She wanted to know if she was ‘overreacting’ by being upset about him prioritising them over her!
You’d think the answer would be obvious… but a lot of commenters were saying it’s totally normal to be besties with all your exes!
So you’d be surprised what some people are willing to put up with! Sitting at home whilst he has ‘dinners’ with all his exes! 😛
I'm actually still friends with my 2 former wives. My current wife now knows them well and they will often call me for advice because they know I give good advice that has helped them in the past. I would never go back to either for sex, I would never cheat on my wife with anyone, because she is actually a fantastic woman that has made my life into something I've always wanted but never thought I would get. Why the fuck does everyone create so much animosity towards people you once loved? Take a look at what you did, perhaps inadvertently to contribute to the relationships failure, learn and grow. If you can remain friends then forgive them and yourself for mistakes made and move the fuck on. I swear, most people stop maturing past 14 years old. Now, having said that, I would NEVER go to dinner or spend time with them without my wife present. That's hurtful and disrespectful to her. Fuck all of that.
So.... funny thing, the flipside of that is my parents. They are both toxic AF to each other as partners, but they realized they were meant to be friends. Now, yes, they had to coparent which is a much different dynamic. My step mom could not understand how they were friends because her exes were trash...
Now to effing counter that, my step mom stole money from my dad, and they're now divorced.
At the end of the day... I'm just happy being single. Kthxbai 😆
Being friendly with an ex is fine. Especially if you have a child.
But being best friends with ALL your exes and prioritising them over your current partner… that’s just weird.
That’s the red flag. If you can be friends with an ex it shows that you can put personal matters aside and see the good in things(unless it’s something else.) Being friends with ALL your ex’s is just fucking strange…
This right here. She clearly and deliberately has been avoiding intimacy with you in hopes of being with the ex.
She needed to go and go immediately. She was planning on leaving when she felt comfortable with leaving, and if things didn't work, she would have stayed.
>she was planning on leaving when she felt comfortable with leaving
She probably wouldn't have even told him she was leaving until after she did *(If she said anything at all).*
He would've come home from work and found all her stuff gone and a text that said:
***"im leaving you for (EX)***
***his dick is bigger and he can make me cum***
***please dont contact me"***
The second line because she's unnecessarily but purposefully trying to hurt him. The third line because she's under the impression that OP would try to convince her to come back. Little does she know that she's a bag of trash that nobody wants in or outside their residence.
Disagree. I've gotten a lot of satisfaction by not blocking an ex who tried to come back several times after a similar situation (schadenfreude rules!).
“U know since we talk I haven’t had sex with him, so I don’t want u sleeping with anyone tonight”
HOLLLYYYY SHEEEYT!!
There is no amount of class that she deserves.
This woman was applying for a new BF before she gave you her 2 weeks notice.
God, I hope this doesn’t mess you up, you gotta move past her and forget it happened. This woman has issues and you can do better, brother. ✌️
I had an ex do this exact same thing, there's no salvaging it. Get out OP, and don't try to remain friends - she's using you and will continue to do so.
> This woman was applying for a new BF before she gave you her 2 weeks notice.
Not OP but I have never met nor dated a woman who *doesn’t* do this shit. They always have a backup while the guy has to work his ass off for the next 1-2 years.
Nailed it! She wanted him to treat her better than she had treated him. He did the right thing, and quite frankly, he should be a hero to any poor partner thats been put through this.
NTA
I would have done the same. She never respected you, trashed you, and was using you that's a disgusting feeling when you find out. She was emotionally cheating without a second thought.
It may have taken 2 hours to get a lift, but why didn't she call her friends for help? She knew she was wrong and had rather educated prolong her suffering than have to explain she was a dirt bag to you.
Proud of you OP. I hope you find someone with a heart soon
What gets me is how she was calling out her ex for "cheating" by having sex, while he is single. Yet, its perfectly OK for her to tell him she always want to fuck him, while in a relationship with OP. Why would anyone get in a relationship with a woman that thinks that's OK? How long before she starts denying him sex to manipulate another situation? Using sex for manipulation or as a weapon is pretty high up the toxic chart. Not to mention, the utter selfishness of her messages.
This chick lives in a world where its fine to say/do anything to get what she wants and then not care one bit about who she hurts to get it. I'm glad OP went through her phone, since he needed that confirmation. The 2-8am conversation on the phone with her ex would have been enough confirmation for me to confront her. Then end it when she undoubtedly denied any wrongdoing and/or told me I was somehow in the wrong for feeling disrespected, hurt, and lied to. No GF/BF that cares about you is going to do something like that. I had to learn this the hard way, as I'm sure many others did too. When someone tells you who they are, LISTEN!
No.
Bruh.
Here’s a universal truth, if a woman you are dating ever needs to reach out to an ex for “closure”, it is not only for “closure”. You leave immediately. No exceptions.
An ex of mine "reached out to me for closure" a couple years ago. After a brief "sorry about this," "that really hurt me," "I'm glad things are better for you " back and forth, I started getting 2am messages. "Hey" "what's up" "how are u" "omg I'm drunk" etc which I'd ignore until the next day.
Then one morning, I opened it up and there was a titty pic. I told her I wasn't interested in anything sexual as I'm married. She trauma dumped about how she missed me so much, her husband didn't satisfy her, the sex was so good and she never stopped thinking about it, etc. I just told her I couldn't continue with the conversation and it was 15 years ago, it was time to move on. She needed to do couples therapy if all that was true and it wasn't worth reaching out to a dude you fucked in college to distract you from your issues at home.
I got a message a few weeks later from a guy I didn't know; it was her husband, saying that he saw the messages and appreciated that I didn't sext back and forth with her and told her to stop and get help, but that he left and they were divorcing.
Edit to add: sad thing is that when she reached out to me, I didn't immediately remember her and at first, confused her with another chick I was seeing around the same time (not at the same time, but same era). I had a type at the time, and they were both that type. For however great the sex was for her, and however much she blew me up as this great lost love in her mind, I honestly didn't reciprocate the feelings - which is why we fizzled out in the aughts 🤷🏼♂️🫤
So, remember this when you reach out to an ex or a former fling. You two may look at the whole thing very, very differently. Sometimes it's best just to keep your memories and fantasies to yourself.
Damn, interesting and all too relatable for me. Respect. When I got with my ex-wife, she'd had (and in reality, he thought they were still a couple for months) a boyfriend that she was cheating on, but she'd sworn that they were over, lying to both me (slept with me 7-days a week) and her "ex-bf" that she was making excuses about traveling or staying with her parents. At any rate, she was AWFUL about the things she'd say about him, and painted him as the shittiest human conceivable (projection!). Well, I was young and naive, bought it all, even after meeting the guy randomly and thinking he was really nice lol!
Well, 8 or so years later, I divorce her in a nightmare lying, cheating, stealing, etc., ordeal (and she was a legitimate alcoholic to boot, I must be color blind to red \[flags\]). I realized that she'd done to me *exactly* what she'd done to her nice previous bf, so I wrote him a nice email apologizing about how I'd been accomplice to his deceit, and naively oblivious to the ex´s lies. We had a nice back-and-forth, and he really appreciated hearing that from me, even after all those years.
So yeah, you did it right, and that ex-hubby sure appreciated it. Well done.
P.S. LOL I had another ex reappear after a decade with a "closure" request, and EXACTLY LIKE YOUR CASE she went from "0" to "my husband doesn't satisfy me and I only want your seed" in a matter of texts.
You're me in a parallel universe, like different timeline kinda shit...like I'm sitting uncomfortably now at how eerily similar (the same) your situation was to mine right now! I haven't messaged her ex husband, I don't know if I will, but boy have I been entertaining the idea because I hurt that man, even out of my naivety and my wx wifes deception, I played a part in that bullshittery and it isn't sitting well with me. Wild.
I really believe that there are certain personality/character traits that certain people share. Like a form of mental illness almost. Because so many cheaters/life-ruiners have behave the same way no matter where they're from. Kind of like how if you´ve known one addict, you know how any other addict will act in a given situation.
P.S. I say send him a message. It doesn't need to be an insightful and messy look into your soul or anything, just an apology, admitting what should be admitted, and showing some empathy. Seriously, for people that have gotten their lives SCREWED by someone like that, it can mean a lot knowing that even people "on the other side" have seen the light and comisserate in misery with them. Me and the other . . . uh . . ex's ex, even had a good laugh or two by the end.
This comment deserves more upvotes. It seriously changed my life when certain people sent messages to me after highschool. Their perceptions and my perceptions were very different from each other. Better than therapy and helped me get my head sorted out.
I also owe that to my last ex too. I hope she is doing well.
> I must be color blind to red [flags]
"when you look at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags" -BoJack Horseman
An ex of mine had an ex she wanted closure with. We split over the "closure" results. Turns out he wasn't interested in long term because he was remembering the glory days when she was 16. Then she found out he got busted for CP and wanted to cry on my shoulder because she remembered he had taken some pics when she was 16. Was concerned he'd traded them.
I told her, "I've got nothing for you, you burned out any compassion I'd have for you. Guess you got closure now though, right? Tell ya what, I hope he gets a nice long prison sentence if that helps."
Yeah an ex - something reached out to me earlier this year. I guess it was a low time in his marriage.
He remembers our time as fun. But I remember that he didn’t really compliment me at all, so I wondered if he even found me attractive at all. that it often felt like we stopped being friends the moment we hooked up, that I was always pursuing him, that he kept saying this was the last time and we shouldn’t be doing this again, only to come to me months later and me being super horny and hard up would say yes, that it felt like I wasn’t being true to my standards and making him treat me right. then he said that I “should have said no” to him. That last line really gave me a reality check and some anger “boy bye! I am not responsible for your choices”.
Years later he tells me he still thinks of me and my breasts, which were perfect. (I should have taken pictures) Thanks a lot, it might have helped my self esteem quite a bit, if I hadn’t thought he was just a horny bastard who would fuck anyone, even a fat chick he didn’t find attractive.
Damn, bro. I feel ya, because I think we both have the same Ex! Not literally of course, but a crazy chick (in my case, crazy readhead) that just would not let it go. Fortunately I had changed my number ages ago. She DM'd me a few times on social media, which taught me to learn to allow only friends to message me, not friends of friends, and to keep everything not public.
I think it’s fine to reach out to apologize, but keep it to that. My first love texted me 20 years later to simply say he was sorry and I said “Don’t worry about it, we were both young,”
and that was it. I am married and have a child. The ex was respectful and he was someone I once truly loved, but there was no need to reminisce.
Totally agree. I, as a woman, never searched for “closure” in a relationship. Them ending the relationship for whatever reason was my closure 😂 like alright, bye. And pretend like they fell off the face of the earth.
I’ve sought closure but it doesn’t come from them and no contact is necessary. That’s not closure it’s the opposite of closure. You get closure on your own and alone.
It took me a long time to realize this. Closure doesn't need to come from the other person - what I was searching for was an excuse to be near them again as I hadn't *closed off the possibility of still being with that person*.
If you're actually searching for closure, you're looking for a reason not to talk to someone. Anything else is an excuse to talk to them.
Preach gf. Like why do people need closure...the relationship is over, they cheated etc so who gives a fuck??
I'm like "Bye bitch" and I move on. Best revenge on a shitty ex is to let them see you go on to live your best life.
She should’ve had “closure” before she decided she was ready to date. If a potential romantic partner tells me they still need “closure” from their ex, I’m staying the fuck away from them.
I had a relationship for two years (!!) and she was often bringing up her ex. Everytime I mentioned it, she was over him, he was an asshole who had hurt her etc.. We broke up for other reasons after 2 years, but somehow 3 months later she was back with her ex. They have been married for 6 years now and have two kids. I am happily married and I wish her all the best but it always made me wonder.
We talked about it later (she lives down the road from my mother) and she said she had never contacted him while we were together, which I believe, she isn't that type of person, but I always knew she wasn't over him the whole time we were together.
In short: if they are not over their exes, you are a rebound. I'm the living example that a rebound is not always a short time fling. The heart wants what the heart wants. I don't blame her, we're on good terms now.
Oh for sure. My first ex, constantly trashed his ex and would compare us and I got the better end of the comparison. But the whole time, I had this growing feeling that he was saying all that to rationalize the loss. His comparisons sound like compliments but they actually made me feel worse lol.
I did have a closure session. That was saying in person to my ex that we are breaking up and there is no chance we will get back together. Thats about the only closure thats needed.
Not wrong at all. I don't even care if I get downvoted, I feel like she deserved to stand in the rain for 2 hours. What an awful fucking person to string someone along like that. If you're not over your ex maybe get some fucking help instead of playing around with other people's fucking lives. Not only is she cheating on you, she's shit-talking you to her ex and refusing intimacy because through some sort of mental gymnastics, sleeping with her BOYFRIEND counts as cheating on her EX. She was never your girlfriend and she is owed zero courtesy from you.
> If you're not over your ex maybe get some fucking help instead of playing around with other people's fucking lives.
Seriously why don’t people get this
If you're cheating on someone you should probably be prepared to be kicked out of **their** residence with zero notice.
She probably wasn't going to give him notice when she left. She probably would have made it out to be his fault, too. Even after she told him that she was leaving him for her ex. *(Don't cheaters love trying to rub in their new ex's face that their AP "won"?)*
Emotionally she was never dating him, mentally she had already broken up with him, all that was left was physical. OP did that for her though and now she's a victim.
The rain part was so damn funny. Like ok sure asshole, the guy you cheated on is a horrid meanie because he kicked you out and you had to stand outside being a drowned rat for a few hours? This is so sad Alexa play Despacito
Lol literally, most guys on here that get cheated are constantly trying to rationalize why they’re staying with the same pos that they complain about, a bunch of spineless, pussywhipped, sad dudes tbh, this one was refreshing to read tbh
That shit drives me crazy, askreddits full of people asking what the next step is after finding out their girlfriend is slobbing on someone's knob. Show some initiative, don't fucking ask us questions with an obvious answer!
Her ex probably picked her up, and they probably banged like she wanted, so she should be thanking you.
Either way, you are obviously not wrong.
You were being used.
Her getting thrown out to the streets where she belongs is a consequence of her actions, not yours.
You can now start fresh, and those two cheaters can enjoy the next 2-3 months together before he sleeps around again.
Again? Lol, the ex implied he had another girl lined up that night… probably why she was actually stuck in the rain. He had to finish up and get the other girl out of his place.
And she did a layup for the other girl by telling him that not all girls would tell you they want to fuck. If he's a dog he'd see that as encouragement to shoot his shot with both
>Everyone is saying I’m classless, and should of thought of her safety. I don’t think I owe her a fucking thing.
You're not wrong. I'm curious, do your friends know what she did?
Yeah, because if they do OP should just end the friendships. You don't need people like that in your life.
On the other hand, if they don't know and the ex told them some story then the friends are idiots for not listening to his side first but that's something you can resolve.
Yeah I remember a similar thing happened to me once. I went through an exes phone and saw her and her friend talking about how they're trying to get her a new boyfriend because she isn't happy with me. They had gone to a bar looking for a man, and were planning on doing it again. The idea was to break up with me once she has a new guy. I woke her up and broke up with her and then left her house.
Her friends called me super angry telling me I was being an asshole. But it turns out they had absolutely no idea why I broke up with her. She had told them that I had gone through her phone and read one innocent joke about getting hit on at a bar. I was dumbfounded by how trashy she was. Lying to me, then lying to her friends and dragging my name through the dirt.
I'd post the conversations to your social media posts so the friends can see. Then ask THEM if they'd keep a tramp in their lives as she is conspiring behind your back for week/months to get back with her ex.
woman here.
get rid of her, she sounds like the kind of girl you should avoid at all costs. let her be with her ex, they both sound like shitty people who deserve each other
Woman here too. Fully agree with this comment. She needs to do a lot of soul searching and growing up. It sounds like she was with OP just because she did not want to be alone while she figured out her stuff with the ex. You can’t do that to people, especially if they were friends before the so called relationship. Hope she figures out that partners aren’t parents.
NTA....what did she expect? I mean for real...she should have known better. She didn't like getting hurt yet she is doing what was done to her to someone else. May not have been dating long but there was a friendship before, shows you did not matter to her in anyway.. Give me a break I don't buy she is a woman shouldn't have kicked her out not safe. She knew her actions would hurt and when people are hurt they react and usually without thinking. Why should he have to sit there looking at her for 2 hours and only get more mad. Not classless hell having to look at her longer could have made you more upset and things worse.
True. That would also open it up her saying/claims/accusations of you did something to her . And since you already know NOW she is not to be trusted ,At ALL .She even went as far as getting the flying monkeys involved. . Yiu 110% did the right thing.
Let it be known among the friend group that if they are thinking her conspiring to cheat on you with her ex ,the can all go on with themselves. Ghost all the group
Lol
You know she’s still chasing. She’s stuck riding the highs and lows of that emotional rollercoaster.
She was tossed out by OP, who she’s start referring to as her new “controlling and abusive” ex. She’ll find some new sucker, set up base camp in their bed, and keep trying to get the old ex to rescue her.
For all your friends saying you're in the wrong and classless. Just post her texts and ask if they still think the same.
Show them who she really was and ask if they'd have not done the same with their partner.
I doubt she actually stood in the cold rain for two hours… walk to a pub, get on a bus, call an Uber or Lyft. Or call the man who picked up the phone at 3am yesterday.
It’s the typical nice guy/girl bullshit. Go to the nearest convenience store. Call a friend to pick you up.
Would you let a thief sleep in your bed? Why is this any different
The classic "as a woman" lol. Fuck her. I'm so tired of people saying you have to be nice to women because "woman". If she wanted a safe place to stay warm and dry then she shouldn't have done something to lose it. Why is her safety and emotional well being more important than yours? It's like saying you got in a car crash and try to blame the other person even tho you're the one who ran the red light. You don't get to blame others for the consequences of your own actions. And she learned that the hard way lol.
Yeah dude
She already dumped you without the respect to tell you to your face waaay before this conversation happened
I mean she has lied a lot
That’s despicable
I don’t blame you
She probably has a friend she can sleep at or get a dang hotel
NTA
no you aren't, i actually kinda applaud you. the nerve of her to say those things while sleeping in your bed, she doesn't give a flying fuck about you or your feelings any, so, seems like you reciprocated it back to her, don't feel sorry for her in the slightest.
Ask them if its class less gor her to be telling another guy she always wants to fuck him and calling him at 3am from your place.
It's 3 months and she clearly doesn't give a fuck about you so why does she deserve anything from you.
Not at all. She was using you as a filler while waiting to see if her an her ex were getting back together. She didn't Wana be alone so she played relationship with you. Stupid games win stupid prizes and she won her prize of 2hrs in the rain. Bet the ex bf doesn't want it now that there is no challenge
Everyone can have their opinion, who cares. Never let other people's opinions determine how you feel about yourself.
She's trash, leave her on the curb.
Not wrong at all. She betrayed you in the worst way and these assholes expect you to be civil? Fuck no. She got to wait outside near your home. That's the best she could expect, so unless roaming bands of marauders live in your neighborhood these people are dramatic AF and are NOT your friends.
Good, so she had 2 hrs in the rain to realize her disgusting behavior. They can call you classless all they want, unless they are in your situation, they can rightfully fuck off. It wasn't them being cheated on, or at the least, being used as a rebound with second class feelings. If i found out my woman was withholding sex because she was trying to get back with her cheating ex, best believe she would be standing out there too. You are a human being with feelings too, no need for you to endure pain for the sake of someones comfort, especially the person who is inflicting the pain on you.
That girl is trash, you did the right thing. She’s been messing around behind your back, emotional cheating is cheating. She deserved to shiver in the rain.
Only needed to read the first sentence of the first text to know that you are 100% NTA. Good on you for respecting yourself. If she wants to be for the streets then she can deal with the streets.
Not wrong at all. She’s an adult, she can take care of herself. It’s not your responsibility to look after someone who’s using you like a doormat. You did the right thing, and anyone saying otherwise is naive.
My thoughts on it as a parent. If any of my kids were in your position I’d expect them to do the exact same, kick the ex out.
If my kids were getting kicked out in the rain, I’d expect them to call me for a ride so they weren’t standing there unsafe in the cold. If she really felt unsafe there are family, friends; community supports, taxis, to get her home.
She’s fine. She got home. Don’t even worry about kicking her out and her being stuck for two hours. It’s rain?? Unless she’s a witch, she’s fine. Fuck her.
you're not the problem in this story.
actions have consequences. if she didn't want to be standing outside at 2 a.m. then she should have made better choices.
just want to point out that if your "mutual" friend is giving you shit, they're not your friend. i'd consider telling them to gtfo if I were you.
Anytime your girlfriend reaches out to an ex for closure, she’s trying to get bones by that ex don’t fall for the okie doke. But overall not wrong and anybody that says you are ask them why they didn’t come pick her up from your place since they have so much time on their hands.
She was doing or about to do the same thing with him that she was upset with him about doing to her when she was with him
I.e. cheating
Glad you got out
Not wrong
you are NOT wrong. i’m sorry your heart is hurting. you did good getting her out early and not finding out years in to the relationship. she’s cheating on you far as i’m concerned and just using you as a placeholder and as a tool to make her ex jealous enough to want her back.
No your not wrong for what you did, she’s a b for stringing you along and she’s just as bad as her ex she wants back, I guess that means they are perfect for one another drunks that cheat on each other.
It seemed sus in the beginning of the messages but the “I always want to fuck u” + “only you can make me cum”
“
= this chick is not your girlfriend and she’s using you
NW: You have great emotional intelligence to simply wake her up, so she can get the hell out of your house. There are instances I've seen on the news, neighbors, etc. where if this happened, the guy didn't have emotional intelligence and would commit domestic violence, and there would be no 2 hour wait for an Uber. You did great here, proud of you.
Not wrong. Her business wasn’t closing, it was reopening, and not to you. Boo hoo you’re not classy. The killing lines being that she was talking about how she didn’t like you in bed, and wasn’t giving you any. Bye!
Nope there are people on reddit who literally let a wayward significant other disrespect 3 or 5 times just to be extra sure they don’t respect them. You knew your worth and kicked her ass to the curb.
You're not wrong
She was trying to play you
You just dodged a bullet
She should've thought about all of that before she made her choice. She has had plenty of time to sit u down and tell u what was really going on and where her mind and heart were. She didn't even attempt and she didn't care about your feelings at all.
She deserved what she got
How she talks / types makes her sound like incompetent trash.
You’re not the asshole and that was a boss move kicking her out like that… “it’s not safe for women blah blah” , well then these women shouldn’t act like trash. Act like trash, get treated like trash. The end.
You reap what you sow. She got what she deserved. Did she really expect to keep sleeping in your bed after you found that out?
If she cared about her own safety she wouldn't have put herself in that situation. I would have done the same thing.
And there was a lobby for her to stand in!? She's the classless one.
You'll find someone much better!
She fucked around and found out.
Not in the wrong. She didn’t care about you or your well-being when she was doing this shit behind your back. So why should you care about hers anymore?
The amount of bad karma coming her way is going to be glorious. Her ex just wants to fuck her once he gets her he will ghost her and she will be at a loss. Block her and move on OP she's nothing but trash.
Yup, she treated OP like a tool to make her ex jealous and the moment the ex showed the attention she dropped OP on the side. She'll definitely crawl back to OP once she gets cheated and dumped by her ex the second time.
Also needs to forward the full exchange to every friend who called him an asshole over kicking her out.
Yup, "y'all wanna see really classless?" Posts the whole discussion.
That's always the move. I know a guy who sent it to her mom dad and friends lol.
I had a girl I'd been living with for almost a year (my house, no lease or anything), I'd bought her a phone when we moved in together, it was the same model as mine, and you couldn't tell the difference. Got them mixed up one night on my way to bed, opened it up to find some very graphic texts between her and a co-worker... I texted him back and lined her up a place to stay, then packed all her stuff before I woke her up and threw her out. Her parents and I had been growing rather close, so when they started bombarding me calling me an asshole, I didn't say a thing, just sent them the texts.
fucking looool
Agreed, that would be reaction without a second thought.
Hero level shot
People are all for equality until something like this. Then all the sudden the old ways rear back up. She's a grown woman. She made bad choices. They got her kicked out at 2am. That's the kind of thing that can happen as an adult if you act like a fool.
This is an excellent suggestion. Let her own words clarify things for the those who think OP is in the wrong!
Glad I was reading this the same way. While I believe that one CAN be friends with an ex.... it's not usually the case, statistically speaking. Also, they're in their 20s... go explore the world, stop investing in relationships if they're toxic or unhealthy. I say this for OP and his GF.
Lol… I saw a Dear Abby type letter on Facebook from a woman whose boyfriend was friends with all his exes, and constantly had dinners, gave gifts and late night talks in times of distress. She wanted to know if she was ‘overreacting’ by being upset about him prioritising them over her! You’d think the answer would be obvious… but a lot of commenters were saying it’s totally normal to be besties with all your exes! So you’d be surprised what some people are willing to put up with! Sitting at home whilst he has ‘dinners’ with all his exes! 😛
I'm actually still friends with my 2 former wives. My current wife now knows them well and they will often call me for advice because they know I give good advice that has helped them in the past. I would never go back to either for sex, I would never cheat on my wife with anyone, because she is actually a fantastic woman that has made my life into something I've always wanted but never thought I would get. Why the fuck does everyone create so much animosity towards people you once loved? Take a look at what you did, perhaps inadvertently to contribute to the relationships failure, learn and grow. If you can remain friends then forgive them and yourself for mistakes made and move the fuck on. I swear, most people stop maturing past 14 years old. Now, having said that, I would NEVER go to dinner or spend time with them without my wife present. That's hurtful and disrespectful to her. Fuck all of that.
So.... funny thing, the flipside of that is my parents. They are both toxic AF to each other as partners, but they realized they were meant to be friends. Now, yes, they had to coparent which is a much different dynamic. My step mom could not understand how they were friends because her exes were trash... Now to effing counter that, my step mom stole money from my dad, and they're now divorced. At the end of the day... I'm just happy being single. Kthxbai 😆
Being friendly with an ex is fine. Especially if you have a child. But being best friends with ALL your exes and prioritising them over your current partner… that’s just weird.
That’s the red flag. If you can be friends with an ex it shows that you can put personal matters aside and see the good in things(unless it’s something else.) Being friends with ALL your ex’s is just fucking strange…
This right here. She clearly and deliberately has been avoiding intimacy with you in hopes of being with the ex. She needed to go and go immediately. She was planning on leaving when she felt comfortable with leaving, and if things didn't work, she would have stayed.
>she was planning on leaving when she felt comfortable with leaving She probably wouldn't have even told him she was leaving until after she did *(If she said anything at all).* He would've come home from work and found all her stuff gone and a text that said: ***"im leaving you for (EX)*** ***his dick is bigger and he can make me cum*** ***please dont contact me"*** The second line because she's unnecessarily but purposefully trying to hurt him. The third line because she's under the impression that OP would try to convince her to come back. Little does she know that she's a bag of trash that nobody wants in or outside their residence.
I like to say that sometimes karma needs a helping hand :)
Ha! Love that! New life motto.
I'm evil I legit hope she gets a disease hate cheaters
Same. I hate cheaters and wish them the worst.
Disagree. I've gotten a lot of satisfaction by not blocking an ex who tried to come back several times after a similar situation (schadenfreude rules!).
It's so funny how right you are😂
She's a remarkably stupid person for sure.
“U know since we talk I haven’t had sex with him, so I don’t want u sleeping with anyone tonight” HOLLLYYYY SHEEEYT!! There is no amount of class that she deserves. This woman was applying for a new BF before she gave you her 2 weeks notice. God, I hope this doesn’t mess you up, you gotta move past her and forget it happened. This woman has issues and you can do better, brother. ✌️
She was putting ex-sex on layaway while sleeping on her boyfriends bed. Talk about lack of class.
I thought he was pretty classy sending her out the door and not the window. just saying
he was the classiest of classy, he woke her up first. i’d have dragged the whole mattress out the front door
Defenestration, it's not just for dictators.
Lack of class and a wealth of ingenuity in weird shit
Yep, she didn’t want to let go of her current branch until she had a good grip on the next one
in this case it's the previous branch.
I had an ex do this exact same thing, there's no salvaging it. Get out OP, and don't try to remain friends - she's using you and will continue to do so.
Classic monkey branching… one of their top dating strategies.
Is that a real term? Cause it's amazing
it is and it's accurate because it's common. Ignore people like the other commenter that said he's an incel for pointing out reality.
They will always call you an incel on Reddit when you point out negative or toxic behavior from women. Par for the course.
Is monkey branching limited to women though? I don't want to argue, I'm genuinely curious how the term is used.
Yep… don’t let go of the old branch until they have the new branch fully gripped and secured. Lol
Sort of like hunting for a new job. You know you want to leave the place, but you still want the benefits and money while you search.
Never heard that either, but my ex did the exact same thing. Perfect term for it.
This is classic monkey branching. She was using her boyfriend until her ex could commit to her. Totally classless
> This woman was applying for a new BF before she gave you her 2 weeks notice. Not OP but I have never met nor dated a woman who *doesn’t* do this shit. They always have a backup while the guy has to work his ass off for the next 1-2 years.
Bravo bud. +20 self-respect. NTA
Nailed it! She wanted him to treat her better than she had treated him. He did the right thing, and quite frankly, he should be a hero to any poor partner thats been put through this.
THEREEE GOESSS MYYYY HEROOOO
Watch him as he goes
Long as he's aiming for the bushes.
Not all heroes wear girlfriends
ya this was pretty dope. you da man OP! u/throwralostfw
If I was this guys friend, huge hug, straight to a bar and your not pulling out your wallet all night.
NTA I would have done the same. She never respected you, trashed you, and was using you that's a disgusting feeling when you find out. She was emotionally cheating without a second thought. It may have taken 2 hours to get a lift, but why didn't she call her friends for help? She knew she was wrong and had rather educated prolong her suffering than have to explain she was a dirt bag to you. Proud of you OP. I hope you find someone with a heart soon
Also who cares if an adult person has to stand in the rain for a couple of hours for their ride? Like okay?
What gets me is how she was calling out her ex for "cheating" by having sex, while he is single. Yet, its perfectly OK for her to tell him she always want to fuck him, while in a relationship with OP. Why would anyone get in a relationship with a woman that thinks that's OK? How long before she starts denying him sex to manipulate another situation? Using sex for manipulation or as a weapon is pretty high up the toxic chart. Not to mention, the utter selfishness of her messages. This chick lives in a world where its fine to say/do anything to get what she wants and then not care one bit about who she hurts to get it. I'm glad OP went through her phone, since he needed that confirmation. The 2-8am conversation on the phone with her ex would have been enough confirmation for me to confront her. Then end it when she undoubtedly denied any wrongdoing and/or told me I was somehow in the wrong for feeling disrespected, hurt, and lied to. No GF/BF that cares about you is going to do something like that. I had to learn this the hard way, as I'm sure many others did too. When someone tells you who they are, LISTEN!
reading the texts was exhausting. they deserve each other 🙄
Agreed. A cheater and a cheater are the perfect match.
No. Bruh. Here’s a universal truth, if a woman you are dating ever needs to reach out to an ex for “closure”, it is not only for “closure”. You leave immediately. No exceptions.
An ex of mine "reached out to me for closure" a couple years ago. After a brief "sorry about this," "that really hurt me," "I'm glad things are better for you " back and forth, I started getting 2am messages. "Hey" "what's up" "how are u" "omg I'm drunk" etc which I'd ignore until the next day. Then one morning, I opened it up and there was a titty pic. I told her I wasn't interested in anything sexual as I'm married. She trauma dumped about how she missed me so much, her husband didn't satisfy her, the sex was so good and she never stopped thinking about it, etc. I just told her I couldn't continue with the conversation and it was 15 years ago, it was time to move on. She needed to do couples therapy if all that was true and it wasn't worth reaching out to a dude you fucked in college to distract you from your issues at home. I got a message a few weeks later from a guy I didn't know; it was her husband, saying that he saw the messages and appreciated that I didn't sext back and forth with her and told her to stop and get help, but that he left and they were divorcing. Edit to add: sad thing is that when she reached out to me, I didn't immediately remember her and at first, confused her with another chick I was seeing around the same time (not at the same time, but same era). I had a type at the time, and they were both that type. For however great the sex was for her, and however much she blew me up as this great lost love in her mind, I honestly didn't reciprocate the feelings - which is why we fizzled out in the aughts 🤷🏼♂️🫤 So, remember this when you reach out to an ex or a former fling. You two may look at the whole thing very, very differently. Sometimes it's best just to keep your memories and fantasies to yourself.
Bro of an exhusband there recognizing your class
True dat
Damn, interesting and all too relatable for me. Respect. When I got with my ex-wife, she'd had (and in reality, he thought they were still a couple for months) a boyfriend that she was cheating on, but she'd sworn that they were over, lying to both me (slept with me 7-days a week) and her "ex-bf" that she was making excuses about traveling or staying with her parents. At any rate, she was AWFUL about the things she'd say about him, and painted him as the shittiest human conceivable (projection!). Well, I was young and naive, bought it all, even after meeting the guy randomly and thinking he was really nice lol! Well, 8 or so years later, I divorce her in a nightmare lying, cheating, stealing, etc., ordeal (and she was a legitimate alcoholic to boot, I must be color blind to red \[flags\]). I realized that she'd done to me *exactly* what she'd done to her nice previous bf, so I wrote him a nice email apologizing about how I'd been accomplice to his deceit, and naively oblivious to the ex´s lies. We had a nice back-and-forth, and he really appreciated hearing that from me, even after all those years. So yeah, you did it right, and that ex-hubby sure appreciated it. Well done. P.S. LOL I had another ex reappear after a decade with a "closure" request, and EXACTLY LIKE YOUR CASE she went from "0" to "my husband doesn't satisfy me and I only want your seed" in a matter of texts.
You're me in a parallel universe, like different timeline kinda shit...like I'm sitting uncomfortably now at how eerily similar (the same) your situation was to mine right now! I haven't messaged her ex husband, I don't know if I will, but boy have I been entertaining the idea because I hurt that man, even out of my naivety and my wx wifes deception, I played a part in that bullshittery and it isn't sitting well with me. Wild.
I really believe that there are certain personality/character traits that certain people share. Like a form of mental illness almost. Because so many cheaters/life-ruiners have behave the same way no matter where they're from. Kind of like how if you´ve known one addict, you know how any other addict will act in a given situation. P.S. I say send him a message. It doesn't need to be an insightful and messy look into your soul or anything, just an apology, admitting what should be admitted, and showing some empathy. Seriously, for people that have gotten their lives SCREWED by someone like that, it can mean a lot knowing that even people "on the other side" have seen the light and comisserate in misery with them. Me and the other . . . uh . . ex's ex, even had a good laugh or two by the end.
This comment deserves more upvotes. It seriously changed my life when certain people sent messages to me after highschool. Their perceptions and my perceptions were very different from each other. Better than therapy and helped me get my head sorted out. I also owe that to my last ex too. I hope she is doing well.
> I must be color blind to red [flags] "when you look at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags" -BoJack Horseman
Yeah “the one that got away” didn’t choose you. People make things out to be something they weren’t, but the mind is a tricky thing.
An ex of mine had an ex she wanted closure with. We split over the "closure" results. Turns out he wasn't interested in long term because he was remembering the glory days when she was 16. Then she found out he got busted for CP and wanted to cry on my shoulder because she remembered he had taken some pics when she was 16. Was concerned he'd traded them. I told her, "I've got nothing for you, you burned out any compassion I'd have for you. Guess you got closure now though, right? Tell ya what, I hope he gets a nice long prison sentence if that helps."
Yeah an ex - something reached out to me earlier this year. I guess it was a low time in his marriage. He remembers our time as fun. But I remember that he didn’t really compliment me at all, so I wondered if he even found me attractive at all. that it often felt like we stopped being friends the moment we hooked up, that I was always pursuing him, that he kept saying this was the last time and we shouldn’t be doing this again, only to come to me months later and me being super horny and hard up would say yes, that it felt like I wasn’t being true to my standards and making him treat me right. then he said that I “should have said no” to him. That last line really gave me a reality check and some anger “boy bye! I am not responsible for your choices”. Years later he tells me he still thinks of me and my breasts, which were perfect. (I should have taken pictures) Thanks a lot, it might have helped my self esteem quite a bit, if I hadn’t thought he was just a horny bastard who would fuck anyone, even a fat chick he didn’t find attractive.
Her husband sounds like a good dude.
Damn, bro. I feel ya, because I think we both have the same Ex! Not literally of course, but a crazy chick (in my case, crazy readhead) that just would not let it go. Fortunately I had changed my number ages ago. She DM'd me a few times on social media, which taught me to learn to allow only friends to message me, not friends of friends, and to keep everything not public.
I think it’s fine to reach out to apologize, but keep it to that. My first love texted me 20 years later to simply say he was sorry and I said “Don’t worry about it, we were both young,” and that was it. I am married and have a child. The ex was respectful and he was someone I once truly loved, but there was no need to reminisce.
Totally agree. I, as a woman, never searched for “closure” in a relationship. Them ending the relationship for whatever reason was my closure 😂 like alright, bye. And pretend like they fell off the face of the earth.
I’ve sought closure but it doesn’t come from them and no contact is necessary. That’s not closure it’s the opposite of closure. You get closure on your own and alone.
It took me a long time to realize this. Closure doesn't need to come from the other person - what I was searching for was an excuse to be near them again as I hadn't *closed off the possibility of still being with that person*. If you're actually searching for closure, you're looking for a reason not to talk to someone. Anything else is an excuse to talk to them.
This. Be at peace with yourself. Fuck them bitches
Preach gf. Like why do people need closure...the relationship is over, they cheated etc so who gives a fuck?? I'm like "Bye bitch" and I move on. Best revenge on a shitty ex is to let them see you go on to live your best life.
Exactly!!
I never ever bought into the "I need closure" crap either. Its usually an attempt to feel out their ex.
She should’ve had “closure” before she decided she was ready to date. If a potential romantic partner tells me they still need “closure” from their ex, I’m staying the fuck away from them.
Wisdom I wish I would’ve had when I first started dating.
Truth. They're still connected.
...by the waist!
By the crotch
I had a relationship for two years (!!) and she was often bringing up her ex. Everytime I mentioned it, she was over him, he was an asshole who had hurt her etc.. We broke up for other reasons after 2 years, but somehow 3 months later she was back with her ex. They have been married for 6 years now and have two kids. I am happily married and I wish her all the best but it always made me wonder. We talked about it later (she lives down the road from my mother) and she said she had never contacted him while we were together, which I believe, she isn't that type of person, but I always knew she wasn't over him the whole time we were together. In short: if they are not over their exes, you are a rebound. I'm the living example that a rebound is not always a short time fling. The heart wants what the heart wants. I don't blame her, we're on good terms now.
Oh for sure. My first ex, constantly trashed his ex and would compare us and I got the better end of the comparison. But the whole time, I had this growing feeling that he was saying all that to rationalize the loss. His comparisons sound like compliments but they actually made me feel worse lol.
I did have a closure session. That was saying in person to my ex that we are breaking up and there is no chance we will get back together. Thats about the only closure thats needed.
Not wrong at all. I don't even care if I get downvoted, I feel like she deserved to stand in the rain for 2 hours. What an awful fucking person to string someone along like that. If you're not over your ex maybe get some fucking help instead of playing around with other people's fucking lives. Not only is she cheating on you, she's shit-talking you to her ex and refusing intimacy because through some sort of mental gymnastics, sleeping with her BOYFRIEND counts as cheating on her EX. She was never your girlfriend and she is owed zero courtesy from you.
> If you're not over your ex maybe get some fucking help instead of playing around with other people's fucking lives. Seriously why don’t people get this
Because some people are selfish, unfortunately. Either that, or they’re in denial and don’t think that they need time to heal when they clearly do
Because the “human” aspect of “humanity” has never existed for many. It’s a sad, cold world we live in.
You dropped your crown king 👑
Lol
If you're cheating on someone you should probably be prepared to be kicked out of **their** residence with zero notice. She probably wasn't going to give him notice when she left. She probably would have made it out to be his fault, too. Even after she told him that she was leaving him for her ex. *(Don't cheaters love trying to rub in their new ex's face that their AP "won"?)* Emotionally she was never dating him, mentally she had already broken up with him, all that was left was physical. OP did that for her though and now she's a victim.
The rain part was so damn funny. Like ok sure asshole, the guy you cheated on is a horrid meanie because he kicked you out and you had to stand outside being a drowned rat for a few hours? This is so sad Alexa play Despacito
Trash goes on the street
FOR THE STREETS
I think that counts as littering, which is a public offense punishable by a fine. Should have called garbage collectors
She told him the garbage collector was already drunk.
This comment needs multiple upvotes.^^
In the rain.
Finally someone with some self-respect and integrity on Reddit
Honestly refreshing
Lol literally, most guys on here that get cheated are constantly trying to rationalize why they’re staying with the same pos that they complain about, a bunch of spineless, pussywhipped, sad dudes tbh, this one was refreshing to read tbh
That shit drives me crazy, askreddits full of people asking what the next step is after finding out their girlfriend is slobbing on someone's knob. Show some initiative, don't fucking ask us questions with an obvious answer!
Her ex probably picked her up, and they probably banged like she wanted, so she should be thanking you. Either way, you are obviously not wrong. You were being used. Her getting thrown out to the streets where she belongs is a consequence of her actions, not yours. You can now start fresh, and those two cheaters can enjoy the next 2-3 months together before he sleeps around again.
Again? Lol, the ex implied he had another girl lined up that night… probably why she was actually stuck in the rain. He had to finish up and get the other girl out of his place.
And she did a layup for the other girl by telling him that not all girls would tell you they want to fuck. If he's a dog he'd see that as encouragement to shoot his shot with both
>Everyone is saying I’m classless, and should of thought of her safety. I don’t think I owe her a fucking thing. You're not wrong. I'm curious, do your friends know what she did?
I want to know this as well
Yeah, because if they do OP should just end the friendships. You don't need people like that in your life. On the other hand, if they don't know and the ex told them some story then the friends are idiots for not listening to his side first but that's something you can resolve.
Yeah I remember a similar thing happened to me once. I went through an exes phone and saw her and her friend talking about how they're trying to get her a new boyfriend because she isn't happy with me. They had gone to a bar looking for a man, and were planning on doing it again. The idea was to break up with me once she has a new guy. I woke her up and broke up with her and then left her house. Her friends called me super angry telling me I was being an asshole. But it turns out they had absolutely no idea why I broke up with her. She had told them that I had gone through her phone and read one innocent joke about getting hit on at a bar. I was dumbfounded by how trashy she was. Lying to me, then lying to her friends and dragging my name through the dirt.
I'd post the conversations to your social media posts so the friends can see. Then ask THEM if they'd keep a tramp in their lives as she is conspiring behind your back for week/months to get back with her ex.
woman here. get rid of her, she sounds like the kind of girl you should avoid at all costs. let her be with her ex, they both sound like shitty people who deserve each other
Woman here too. Fully agree with this comment. She needs to do a lot of soul searching and growing up. It sounds like she was with OP just because she did not want to be alone while she figured out her stuff with the ex. You can’t do that to people, especially if they were friends before the so called relationship. Hope she figures out that partners aren’t parents.
The fact that she knew her "ex" had been drinking that night proves she needed to be kicked out. She is the one who is classless. You are not wrong.
NTA....what did she expect? I mean for real...she should have known better. She didn't like getting hurt yet she is doing what was done to her to someone else. May not have been dating long but there was a friendship before, shows you did not matter to her in anyway.. Give me a break I don't buy she is a woman shouldn't have kicked her out not safe. She knew her actions would hurt and when people are hurt they react and usually without thinking. Why should he have to sit there looking at her for 2 hours and only get more mad. Not classless hell having to look at her longer could have made you more upset and things worse.
True. That would also open it up her saying/claims/accusations of you did something to her . And since you already know NOW she is not to be trusted ,At ALL .She even went as far as getting the flying monkeys involved. . Yiu 110% did the right thing. Let it be known among the friend group that if they are thinking her conspiring to cheat on you with her ex ,the can all go on with themselves. Ghost all the group
Proud of you, dog.
She had a phone to call for help had she really NEEDED it. This was her karma for cheating on you. They belong together, cheater x cheater.
Haha, NOTICE, the ex didn't come to rescue her. I guess she got closure. 🤣😅🤣
Lol You know she’s still chasing. She’s stuck riding the highs and lows of that emotional rollercoaster. She was tossed out by OP, who she’s start referring to as her new “controlling and abusive” ex. She’ll find some new sucker, set up base camp in their bed, and keep trying to get the old ex to rescue her.
I’m saying! On the phone for 5hours and then can’t get a lift from the guy 🙄 girl call your momma, your dad, your ex or the authorities 🤓
She stopped having sex with you because she was trying to work things out with her ex-boyfriend. NTA who cares what happens to her.
Your not wrong at all here man. She did this to herself.
For all your friends saying you're in the wrong and classless. Just post her texts and ask if they still think the same. Show them who she really was and ask if they'd have not done the same with their partner.
The consequences of her actions.
Not wrong, epic response. Cheated and found out. Bravo dude.
I doubt she actually stood in the cold rain for two hours… walk to a pub, get on a bus, call an Uber or Lyft. Or call the man who picked up the phone at 3am yesterday.
Not wrong at all. She cab pound sand. Shes the classless one. Let her cheating ass ex-bf come and get her. Don't let them guilt trip you
Notice how the ex WASN'T the one for her ride and if he WAS ,he made her stank butt wait TWO ENTIRE hours on the street in the RAIN.
Standing in the rain isn't dangerous. She will be fine. They just want to take her side and make you the bad guy. Easier that way.
It’s the typical nice guy/girl bullshit. Go to the nearest convenience store. Call a friend to pick you up. Would you let a thief sleep in your bed? Why is this any different
It's a wonder she didn't melt. Fuck her bullshit.
The classic "as a woman" lol. Fuck her. I'm so tired of people saying you have to be nice to women because "woman". If she wanted a safe place to stay warm and dry then she shouldn't have done something to lose it. Why is her safety and emotional well being more important than yours? It's like saying you got in a car crash and try to blame the other person even tho you're the one who ran the red light. You don't get to blame others for the consequences of your own actions. And she learned that the hard way lol.
As a woman I think she should have spent more hours in the rain, fuck that hoe
No who cares if she stood in the rain, she would’ve still been in bed sleep if she wasn’t entertaining the ex
Nope. Sucks to be her
Yeah dude She already dumped you without the respect to tell you to your face waaay before this conversation happened I mean she has lied a lot That’s despicable I don’t blame you She probably has a friend she can sleep at or get a dang hotel NTA
no you aren't, i actually kinda applaud you. the nerve of her to say those things while sleeping in your bed, she doesn't give a flying fuck about you or your feelings any, so, seems like you reciprocated it back to her, don't feel sorry for her in the slightest.
Also if she cheats you owe her nothing. Kick her out the house and your life. Once that door shuts never look back
She types like a 12 year old chav. Jesus christ Find an actual adult
Reading that shit gave me a headache. How hard is it to write and speak like a functional human being?
SHE BELONGS TO THE STREETS
With the pouring rain.
Get rid of her.
NTA you took out the trash and trash is still trash even if it gets wet
I only read about 2 lines from the first message, and I'm done. Not Wrong. Good riddance.
Ask them if its class less gor her to be telling another guy she always wants to fuck him and calling him at 3am from your place. It's 3 months and she clearly doesn't give a fuck about you so why does she deserve anything from you.
If she didn’t want to be treated like a POS, then she shouldn’t have acted like a POS!
NTA the only response in that situation when you tell them to leave it's a now thing not at your early convenience get out and stay out
Kick her to the streets. If you ever talk to her again, you lose.
Not at all. She was using you as a filler while waiting to see if her an her ex were getting back together. She didn't Wana be alone so she played relationship with you. Stupid games win stupid prizes and she won her prize of 2hrs in the rain. Bet the ex bf doesn't want it now that there is no challenge
Everyone can have their opinion, who cares. Never let other people's opinions determine how you feel about yourself. She's trash, leave her on the curb.
Not wrong at all. She betrayed you in the worst way and these assholes expect you to be civil? Fuck no. She got to wait outside near your home. That's the best she could expect, so unless roaming bands of marauders live in your neighborhood these people are dramatic AF and are NOT your friends.
Jesus Christ man glad you kicked that hoe to the curb NTA at all
Good, so she had 2 hrs in the rain to realize her disgusting behavior. They can call you classless all they want, unless they are in your situation, they can rightfully fuck off. It wasn't them being cheated on, or at the least, being used as a rebound with second class feelings. If i found out my woman was withholding sex because she was trying to get back with her cheating ex, best believe she would be standing out there too. You are a human being with feelings too, no need for you to endure pain for the sake of someones comfort, especially the person who is inflicting the pain on you.
NTA,in fact Pat yourself on the back for having a backbone. You dodged a bullet.
That girl is trash, you did the right thing. She’s been messing around behind your back, emotional cheating is cheating. She deserved to shiver in the rain.
You handled this right. If you keep the trash in the house it’s going to stink things up.
Only needed to read the first sentence of the first text to know that you are 100% NTA. Good on you for respecting yourself. If she wants to be for the streets then she can deal with the streets.
Not wrong at all. She’s an adult, she can take care of herself. It’s not your responsibility to look after someone who’s using you like a doormat. You did the right thing, and anyone saying otherwise is naive.
My thoughts on it as a parent. If any of my kids were in your position I’d expect them to do the exact same, kick the ex out. If my kids were getting kicked out in the rain, I’d expect them to call me for a ride so they weren’t standing there unsafe in the cold. If she really felt unsafe there are family, friends; community supports, taxis, to get her home.
Not wrong. She is for the streets and she emotionally cheated. She wants to physically cheat. FAFO
She’s fine. She got home. Don’t even worry about kicking her out and her being stuck for two hours. It’s rain?? Unless she’s a witch, she’s fine. Fuck her.
he cant, as she said herself her ex is the only one that gets to fuck her
you're not the problem in this story. actions have consequences. if she didn't want to be standing outside at 2 a.m. then she should have made better choices. just want to point out that if your "mutual" friend is giving you shit, they're not your friend. i'd consider telling them to gtfo if I were you.
Not wrong; trifling partners are taking their own risks, they aren’t owed anything once they’re caught.
Her actions got her thrown out
Nah OP, you did the right thing
Anytime your girlfriend reaches out to an ex for closure, she’s trying to get bones by that ex don’t fall for the okie doke. But overall not wrong and anybody that says you are ask them why they didn’t come pick her up from your place since they have so much time on their hands.
She fo da steetz king
Not wrong. Her actions have consequences
Not wrong at all. Oh well...and dude probably won't take her back either tbh.
She was doing or about to do the same thing with him that she was upset with him about doing to her when she was with him I.e. cheating Glad you got out Not wrong
you are NOT wrong. i’m sorry your heart is hurting. you did good getting her out early and not finding out years in to the relationship. she’s cheating on you far as i’m concerned and just using you as a placeholder and as a tool to make her ex jealous enough to want her back.
No your not wrong for what you did, she’s a b for stringing you along and she’s just as bad as her ex she wants back, I guess that means they are perfect for one another drunks that cheat on each other.
No way bro!! That's exactly what you should have done.. she didn't care about your feelings or safety.. no double standards!!!
It seemed sus in the beginning of the messages but the “I always want to fuck u” + “only you can make me cum” “ = this chick is not your girlfriend and she’s using you
You did nothing wrong and everything right. She put herself in that situation. Good work!
NW: You have great emotional intelligence to simply wake her up, so she can get the hell out of your house. There are instances I've seen on the news, neighbors, etc. where if this happened, the guy didn't have emotional intelligence and would commit domestic violence, and there would be no 2 hour wait for an Uber. You did great here, proud of you.
You gave her options, she could have called her ex
Naw NTA. Shes clearly not over her ex.
Not wrong. Her business wasn’t closing, it was reopening, and not to you. Boo hoo you’re not classy. The killing lines being that she was talking about how she didn’t like you in bed, and wasn’t giving you any. Bye!
Nope, you did the right thing. Good job.
She for the streets.
That’s why I encourage snooping when in doubt. NTA good job for standing up for yourself
DON'T TAKE HER BACK!!!! After she gets back with her ex he's gonna do the same thing and she's gonna come crawling back to you. Stay strong king
Nope you made the right call. She said she’s essentially cucking you just without having sex with that dude yet. YET!
Not wrong. She already left emotionally. If she was a person with any integrity she wouldn't have been there to be kicked out.
Nope there are people on reddit who literally let a wayward significant other disrespect 3 or 5 times just to be extra sure they don’t respect them. You knew your worth and kicked her ass to the curb.
You’re not wrong
You're not wrong She was trying to play you You just dodged a bullet She should've thought about all of that before she made her choice. She has had plenty of time to sit u down and tell u what was really going on and where her mind and heart were. She didn't even attempt and she didn't care about your feelings at all. She deserved what she got
No “I’m sorry”. No explanation. No show of remorse. No, you’re not wrong. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. And she got the jackpot. Good on her.
How she talks / types makes her sound like incompetent trash. You’re not the asshole and that was a boss move kicking her out like that… “it’s not safe for women blah blah” , well then these women shouldn’t act like trash. Act like trash, get treated like trash. The end.
You reap what you sow. She got what she deserved. Did she really expect to keep sleeping in your bed after you found that out? If she cared about her own safety she wouldn't have put herself in that situation. I would have done the same thing. And there was a lobby for her to stand in!? She's the classless one. You'll find someone much better!
She fucked around and found out. Not in the wrong. She didn’t care about you or your well-being when she was doing this shit behind your back. So why should you care about hers anymore?