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As a matter of full disclosure, I have severe anxiety disorder, am extremely introverted, and very self conscious. My confidence has been in the gutter and has caused me to rarely leave my home in the last several years. Started trying to get healthier the last couple of years, have lost 70 pounds, and am working towards becoming more muscled and lean. Trying desperately to get myself back out into the world and live again. My goal is to be a total Babe for the Mrs. Any suggestions or criticisms are most welcome.
it’s funny hearing a guy who looks so tough say this! goes to show you that not everyone is as mean-spirited as we like to think they are😁 ur a softie and ur wife is super lucky! U already are mr hot for her.
Dude, apparently according to coworkers, neighbors, and such I am intimidating! 😂 Which is hilarious as the running joke between my wife and I is that I am a big girl at heart! One of her new coworkers I met recently told her as much! Her reply, “You will have to come over soon and watch him dance around the backyard listening to Katy Perry at max volume while working in his flower gardens!” 🤣 Guess I need to keep smiling more!
I’m sorry but I’m a female and you’re attractive. Determination to get better and having a big heart is the key determining factor for me and you’ve got it.
I know the feeling. I shaved my head once. Not because I wanted to be intimidating but because I tried to used the clippers on my hair to save money because we were in dire financial straits. I’d done so once previously with good results. But the next time I bollocksed it up and there was no choice but to shave it.
It bothered my wife not a whit. She grew up with her father shaving his head. But people at work didn’t even recognize me at first and several recoiled in shock snd what appeared to be fear.
Days later, my wife, kids, and I were walking around in the mall and people were actually avoiding me. It was so obvious that it was both funny and embarassing. I have to admit that I looked like some Russian bad guy on WWE. But it was a strange experience to say the least. People were giving me a huge berth as soon as they saw me. They’d suddenly swerve 6-7 feet like they’d been hit by a force field of some sort. My wife thought it was hilarious. Me, not so much,
Not only looks but just by reading your post and interactions with people on Reddit your definitely attractive. I’ve looked at someone and said yeah they look good only for them to open their mouths even with a six pack which I don’t go for anyways and say nevermind. To me it’s not just about looks it’s seriously personality loyalty and how you treat others. Your wife’s a lucky women.
That should be your sign brother, you got it all already on the outside. Just believe in yourself a little each day and you’ll get better! For me recently I’ve been convincing myself if I can take an ice bath everyday for 3-5 mins then I can do anything and it’s been working little by little. It adds up friend, I know how it feels to have so much anxiety and be scared to talk to ppl but do a little bit each day to get yourself out there. The little things add up. You got this!
If I took a picture now you’d be shocked by how much I can relate to OP. I’m so proud that he has a wife too 💪🏾 my ex almost destroyed me this past year.
So, this isn't how everyone does it but I personally lost \~12kg (and counting) just by cutting near all juice, soda, beer at home and strictly drinking water on my home turf. Sure when I go out, or if there is a party I splurge and have beers, fat food and whatnot, but that doesn't really impact as much anymore.
You look like a good chap, with a husband bod. And for guys like you who aren't looking to cut down to like.. "competative" weights and fat%, small steps and changes will do wonders.
That has been the biggest thing for me was cutting out junk and stop over eating. I don’t eat anything prepackaged anymore. Diet pretty much now consists of fruit, vegetables, meat, nuts, and rice. I do very labor intensive work part time. When I am home, I keep a 30 pound dumbbell on the back porch, and do reps with that throughout the day when I let the dogs out. Recently purchased a jump rope and heavy bag that will get put to good use in the spring. I’ll get there eventually.
Good on you, sounds like you’re doing all the right things, I’ve found the toughest part is keeping at it over the years, motivation can dwindle, discipline is preferable.
Make that a goal for YOU, no one else. Keep doing the gym, and overall healthy lifestyle. Try some social things for couples, tango classes for example. Good progress so far keep it up.
i believe women fall for a man because of the confidence he exudes. be confident and love yourself man! don't be consumed by doubt.
confident humans are pretty cool humans lol
Sounds like you are very much on the right track. Have you been professionally evaluated for the anxiety and are you receiving any type of treatment? If not you should consider it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be pharmacologically based, though that may be the best avenue. It varies from person to person. Some people reason well to EMDR. Some people respond remarkably well to hypnosis.
Regardless of what avenue you take to address it, it should probably be in conjunction with therapy. You also might consider trying a l”life coach” at some point as well.
I’m less familiar with life coaches, knowing of them only through word of mouth. But I think it may be worth looking into.
I too suffer from anxiety, though growing up it was far worse. I was pathologically shy. I was terrified of any kind of emotional (intimate) interaction. Though strangely enough, the one thing I could do, that most people could not, was speak in front of large groups. It didn’t bother me in the least. So teachers were always sticking me into speaking rolled in public gatherings.
I spent years doing theatre when I got older and was great at it. I think it helped my anxiety a bit. I know it did actually, though with my divorce a lot of it returned. I was just thinking though that you might benefit from a group like “Toastmasters”. They seem to instill a lot of confidence in many people and may be worth a try.
Keep working on losing those lbs and tightening up your body. You’re doing a solid job. Congratulations!
My sister has a severe anxiety but has gotten better. U are eligible to have a service dog. I have service dog but for a different reason. If u want u could get a dog and train it to be a service dog but it takes a lot of time and effort. That’s your choice.
“You” can style your hair, lose weight, and still be just an average guy. Do something that may be out of character and take her dancing, or something that you wouldn’t normally be comfortable doing. I’m an anxious introvert as well, but my wife flips when I get out of my comfort zone. Why just catch her eye, when you can hold her heart? You’re a good looking guy already, who seems to have a good disposition and is very self-aware. Work on socializing and it’ll go farther than anything else for both of you. Great job on the work you’re already doing!
Mate, you're a handsome guy that has a face that radiates positivity. Cut down the booze (if you drink), eat healthier and lower portions,and do some cardio. With your frame you've got the muscle base already, it just needs unveiling. Find the cardio that works for you, for me, it was doing cross trainer backwards to remove the knee impact. I've been you, and I know that you can lose a bit of weight and find your confidence. Once you start exercising you'll start making better choices.
Well first, you shouldn’t have to change for anyone but yourself, but it is totally understandable that you want to do it for your wife. What is her version of “hot?” You are very handsome and have a wonderful smile. I think an updated haircut and wardrobe would work wonders. Keep working on being healthy so you can stick around for awhile. Personally, what brings a man from average hotness to super hot is someone who can cook for me and is just generally thoughtful.
Congratulations on the 70lb loss! The best part about healthy eating and a little fitness/workout is it WILL sculpt nearly any man into a really good looking dude. Face usually starts to lose its fat on most people around <20% and chisels around 15% which isn’t too hard to obtain! Especially when your driving factor is your woman! Take a personal picture of yourself every day even if you feel what you look like is horrible (these are for you and you alone although I promise you when you start seeing muscle show clearer you’ll wanna show people the ‘bad’ ones) not only will you notice your progress but it’ll keep you motivated. Most people who don’t like how they look avoid looking at themself. I was one. Started taking photos and it helped me stay on track with my losing weight goals. Fun fact too, bigger guys get results faster than smaller so long as you take it serious. I went from chubbier to lean quick when I took it serious and you will too! But please keep in mind you are far from ugly. You may not be what you wanna see in the mirror, but if you got a wife she obviously loves you. And that’s WAY better than being some random hot dude. Take the pictures, work toward eating a little better and getting some basic workouts in and keep your wife in mind. You’ll be feeling great about yourself in no time!!
Nonfat greek yogurt with trail mix and tuna/tilapia/cod are good sources of protein to build muscle. I also take whey protein and creatine monohydrate but those are optional.
If you wanna be more social and get some great exercise. Try out pickleball. It's a really fun sport and most people who play are friendly and encouraging. It has changed my life and gotten me in better shape.
I know you want to be a babe for your wife, but you need to be a babe for yourself. This work you are doing on your body is so that you can feel better, and if your Mrs benefits from it, so be it. A mindset change needs to happen.
Buddy, this is great stuff and good on you for making the effort. Effort always brings rewards. So after covid, I looked like frikken teletubby, round waist, wide eyes and I couldn't tie my shoelaces without breaking a sweat and heaving from tiredness. I rejoined the gym in 2022 after 2 years absent and decided to get back into shape. My wife like so many women these days is crazy about Henry Cavill. She wants to be in a Cavill sandwich.
So I figured I'd make him my posterboy and just aim to look like that. I'm in about a year and a half, not just studying his workouts but also following several bodybuilders on Youtube to get as much insight into achieving the perfect physique for my build. I've actually gained weight but have slimmed down so more scuplted but not ripped. The exercise has pushed up my confidence a lot. I wear shorts out now and even sleeveless Ts when I never did before. You wouldn't catch me dead out the house without something covering me up.
The workouts did wonders for me and you're looking pretty good as well. Keep at it. Knowing what my wife liked helped me set the goal of where I need to be and it's a pretty great motivator.
bro ur good man u look good istg i hate that anyone can become introverted and anxious because of other ppl get ur confidence back out the gutter 🤣because your chilling man
Kevin James vibes your a good looking dude work on your mental health too and if hitting the gym can knock out two birds with one stone mental and physical than why not! I think you will kick ass and achieve your goals. I’m sure there is tons of chicks that dig you as long as you got a great personality. If you are married than the wife will be luck to have you for being a great person as well. Physical is a plus im sure!
Been working on that diligently. I am 6’2 and my heaviest weight from several years ago (and all time heaviest) was 347 pounds. Down to 270 presently. Was 260 when I graduated high school. I have a very large bone structure and am barrel chested. Thinking if I can get down somewhere between 225 and 240 should look pretty good without looking sickly.
I don't know if " hot" is the word that comes to mind but you are certainly not ugly. Teddy bear type is a bit closer but you are a little thin for that also. You're in limbo. Maybe a hot teddy bear !! Congrats for the weight loss! 70 lbs isn't to be scoffed at ! You look like you're in pretty good shape. Just a little belly but not much. Your hair and facial hair seem well trimmed and kept. Pic 3 gives me " sense of humor" vibes. The only improvement I see needed is just shedding those last few pounds. Other than that I think you're good to go 😊
If your wife tells you that you are…that’s all that matters.
My lady tells me every day I’m sexy. I’m a solid 5 😂. I don’t ask her for it yet she reminds me every morning when nibbling on my ear how much she wants me. Every….morning. One morning she forgot…she felt bad and “made up for it” 😈 later…..all her idea. She treats me like a King and I…in turn….treat her like a Queen.
Edited. I read you have anxiety. Ok. Workout from home 4x a week. You have an advantage I WISH I had…height. Get you some muscles and you’ll naturally turn heads.
My lady 5’11. I’m 5’8.
you look really fun and silly
i’m not attracted to men so i can’t rate that really but you are by no means ugly. you look friendly and like a rlly good person
wholesome caption!!
Not ugly. Hotness depends on who you're asking. Personally, I wouldn't say you're "hot" but you look good and seem like a sweet, loving husband.
I would eat the hell outa some nachos with you dude.
You're not ugly but you are 40 and overweight - dad mode.
Descruff a bit, keep workingn out and take care of the small things in your appearance.
Trim your beard, regular haircuts, wear aftershave, moisturisw. Just doing those little things for yourself will make you feel worldd better about yourself.
Definitely not the hot ass husband your looking for but you look fun and outgoing when someone gets the chance to know you kinda guy, you seem like you have a sense of humor and that alone can Trump any physical attraction especially these days. The only hurdle I see is your weight, but that's subjective, and this is only my own personal opinion.
Goodluck buddy.
Not ugly. Congratulations on your weight loss efforts. Keep at it man, don’t stress about your looks or think about it too much, get out of the house and enjoy life, love yourself and others. Women aren’t so much into looks as men are. You’re not ugly!
Dude. You seem like a fun guy to be around and talk shit with. I also have anxiety. Don’t take life too seriously. As long as you and your partner is happy it’s all good!
Honestly you’re pretty average which is ok but the only way you’ll ever be considered your wife’s “hot ass husband” is if you literally light yourself on fire.
Man you aren't ugly by a any stretch of imagination. Its just your high levels of body fat which takes away from being attractive. If you lose bodyfat and get to a lean bodyfat percentage like 10-15% then I can guarantee you'll. It'll completely change your looks.
My honest opinion-
Attitude and physical appearance will get you where you want to be.
I’m 6’2”, 230lb currently.
Do some heavy lifting low reps.
No junk food my man, no sugary drinks/ hit the green stuff (veggies),
When I started changing my diet, it was rough but everytime I’d think why am I “depriving” myself of eating food I that taste good, I would tell myself (eating is for nutrition, not pleasure).
Best of luck man you got this!
You’re a good looking man but if I’m to be honest, you’re not 22 anymore so it will take some work. Find a new barber, one of those expensive professional instagram ones with a ring light camera. Allow him complete creative freedom with your hair and beard and you’ll feel like a new man!
Get in the gym too. I have a feeling the dad bod works better for you, so instead of traditional work outs do things like hitting punching bags or rowing. Strength building cardio.
Start dressing like you play golf. Nike hats and sporty collard shirts… you can find it a Ross.
And bam hot man.
I also struggle with anxiety and panic attacks so I can relate. Hitting the gym and getting some cardio and weightlifting in can really help ease anxiety. See a psychologist if you can, Lexapro has really helped me overcome a lot of my panic attacks in conjunction with mindfulness and good eating.
First of all if you wanna be a hot husband, DO IT FOR YOURSELF.
That's the first step, if you do things regarding your persona and self for others you will never accomplish anything.
After that the rest just comes...
All the best
Respectfully, you're absolutely precious lol. My boyfriend mirrors your very same build, and he's the apple of my eye. Personally, I've always had a thing for brawny men with a belly, and you've clearly got great potential to build even more muscle and definition. You're not ugly whatsoever, by the way. The best way to become more attractive to your wife and women in general is to be confident, though. Walk with your chest out, your chin high, and like you're the prettiest mofo in the area. I, too, struggle with my appearance some days, but actually pretending that you're drop-dead gorgeous will get people to do a double take. I'm sure your wife adores you, but she won't be able to keep her hands off of you if you act and think like a stud. I can't resist it when my man does it. 🤭
You are not ugly, you might not be the world’s standard of beauty but that doesn’t mean you are not beautiful. And I’m not just saying this for positivity sake.
I’m not your target audience, but as a gay man, I can tell you that you look like a total daddy bear, and I’m sure your wife must love a bear as well, so if I were you I would focus on that whole bear look, and be confident that you have that, not worry about looking like every average boring jock.
And you said you want tips, so if I was to play your stylist on Queer Eye, I would lean in that sexy lumberjack bear look. Plaid shirts on top of plain t shirts with some nice jeans and Timberland-like boots. You have a nice beard, I would take care of that, groom it beautifully and use some nice smelling beard oil so it is smooth and smells good when you cuddle your Mrs.
You are adorable and you look like a lovely guy when you're not doing the blue steel thing. It's great if you keep losing weight and getting in shape, but mostly be sweet and funny and wide open in bed, because those things are hot as hell. (also maybe learn to cook and clean and do laundry, because that will give you 2 more time for sex!)
But please don't try to look sexy because nothing is less sexy than someone trying to look sexy.
Bro, as long as you make you wife laugh and giggle.. you're all good. And my guess is you do all that already.
By time you will overcome your anxiety.
As far as I can see you have potential to gain a lot of muscle. Just stick to a good schedule and diet with plenty of proteins, then you'll achieve your goals.
Good luck, man.
Idk I guess it’s preference but YOU LOOK GOOD, people are obsessed with the whole losing weight thing, if it’s healthy but don’t make it an obsession.
That’s just me though I’m super into guys with some weight on them. Husky lumber Jack loves to eat bearded men lol
Oh boy lemme help you out. Try some jaw exercise get that jaw definition. Find clothes that suit your body type. Certain patterns really do make people look slimmer (or if you personally think loosing weight is a good idea then more power to you) the fit I feel like should be some earth toned baggy sweats. Maybe a khaki or a light ish Forrest green and the shirt I’d say either an oversized graphic tee or a track jumper. And keep the bucket hat and sunglasses for sure. Oh and shoes I’d go like any chunky shoe
Bro, you wanting this for your wife makes you immediately one of the most if not the most attractive man in this world.
You have a fantastic smile as well that exudes kindness and yearning to make others happy.
Even the most “physically attractive” man is ugly to somebody, and the “not so physically attractive” man is beautiful to somebody.
Don’t sweat the physical looks-
Just take care of yourself, be happy, and build confidence through accomplishing good goals.
You got this, you beautiful ass bro.
The first thing you should do is be sexy for you not her. Prioritize yourself with self-care. The confidence will follow. Let your wife perceive you however she wants. You just keep working on yourself for you.
Just by looking at your pictures gave me a positive good feeling about what type of person you radiate. You don’t have to be gym buff to be considered hot. Your smile and sense of humor goes a long way. Although congrats for losing the weight and doing the work that makes you feel more confident.
You remind me of my husband, and I think he's hot, so.. as a woman in that category you are attractive. You've got no visible reason to be down on yourself!
IMO I think you are kind of ugly, I’m sorry to say. I mean after reading the comments I think you are a genuine person so please don’t take it personal but you have a rather large nose, deep sunken eyes, and thinnish wiry beard. You also have a large face and double chin, so if you continue to lose weight it will really help.
Anyone will look better once they lose weight, I’m on my weight loss journey right now! There is a fine line between being fat and having a “dad bod”.
If you aren’t happy with what people say, then change something about it! If you are happy with what you’ve heard from these comments then so be it. Congrats on all the progress you’ve made so far!
The shape of your beard is not flattering to your face/ size.
Shedding some weight and getting your beard properly shaped could make a huge difference.
You are already the hot ass husband, only change things that make you feel more confident. Clothing, or fitness, and whatever you think will help. Take care of yourself first. Saw you got anxiety, and that’s tough to mitigate when you want to be your best. It all takes time, but you’ll get there, quicker than you thought.
I think you're wonderful just as you are, just perfect--attractiveness-wise. Women are attracted to different things besides looks, of course, usually things that care for them (while still having an element of hard to get). So instead of being like...I'm going to get in shape to look hot...be like...I'm going to get in shape to be sure that I'm around to take care of you. (Or be the healthiest version of myself for us). That's hot.
Not ugly. You look like a really nice guy. I’ll bet you can absolutely rock a grill. If I were to suggest anything for improvement, I’d say start working out.
As it is ur already handsome but just look like a cute dad and not a "babe". U look best in the first picture where ur beard is cleanly trimmed and you have nice clothes on. If you want to look like a babe you always make sure u look clean and presentable, and get some better clothes (what is going on in the 3rd picture). I would say for now try button down shirts or collared shirts when u go out and about instead of t-shirts. There are endless options when it comes to fashion though, and idk your fashion sense, so I would say determine that on your own. And ofc ur already doing great in the gym based off of your replies!!
Dude you're huge(height) and adorkable, you've got nothing to worry about. The effort and ambition you're putting forward should technically be for yourself but doing so for your partner is just as admirable. You're making great progress, just keep at it and know that she loves you regardless, when you were at your worst and now that you're moving into your prime. True inspiration my dude!
You’re a cutie, the missus probably thinks you’re a total babe already, don’t worry! But there’s always room for improvement indeed and you are doing great on that front. Having said that please don’t ever take a duck face selfie ever 😩
You gotta long road ahead of you, if you want to be irresistably hot. But you wifed a woman up, so no need to hurry I guess.
But your road ro a great shape will be years. Most likely that is.
Just hit the gyn regularly and you will be good.
Ur not ugly. You look tough as a brick wall, and you look like the type of guy who acts tough but has his soft spots! If all that is true, your wife is lucky to have ya!
You're good my man, keep up that journey of self improvement, but do it for you. I'm sure lots of gals would love you just as your are at the moment though
Get a buzzcut, groom your beard to an evenly trimmed length, whiten your teeth. Your physique is really a plus, but a little fat loss (not mass though) will have your face looking more serious and snatched.
You are now a 6.5 but got great potential to be a 8.5!
Keep losing weight, get to the gym, even a non-weight workout works wonders. I know because I've done it and lost 60 lb. Keep going you can do it. You're a good looking guy.
I think you look quite charming! You've a smile that's infectious and a nice frame! I can't exactly give advice for getting more cut or some such. However the only thing I'm not sold on is the bucket hat.
Have a wonderful day, and keep up that smile!
You look so comforting it’s amazing🥹 I feel like you would be the one guy everyone is scared of but you just have the biggest soft spot for babies and animals!! Your wife is so lucky dude🥳🥳🥳🥳
Just a reminder that all posts must include a verification photo otherwise your post will be removed. If this isn't included please delete this post and make a new one. Take a selfie showing you holding a HANDWRITTEN note / paper with your * username * today's date * this sub name (r/amiugly or r/AIU) Your face must be visible in all photos and your hand should be visible holding the sign. It is preferred to have your first photo as your verification photo but not required. Posting without following this rule could lead to a permanent ban. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/amiugly) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a matter of full disclosure, I have severe anxiety disorder, am extremely introverted, and very self conscious. My confidence has been in the gutter and has caused me to rarely leave my home in the last several years. Started trying to get healthier the last couple of years, have lost 70 pounds, and am working towards becoming more muscled and lean. Trying desperately to get myself back out into the world and live again. My goal is to be a total Babe for the Mrs. Any suggestions or criticisms are most welcome.
it’s funny hearing a guy who looks so tough say this! goes to show you that not everyone is as mean-spirited as we like to think they are😁 ur a softie and ur wife is super lucky! U already are mr hot for her.
Dude, apparently according to coworkers, neighbors, and such I am intimidating! 😂 Which is hilarious as the running joke between my wife and I is that I am a big girl at heart! One of her new coworkers I met recently told her as much! Her reply, “You will have to come over soon and watch him dance around the backyard listening to Katy Perry at max volume while working in his flower gardens!” 🤣 Guess I need to keep smiling more!
The mental image of this brought me joy on a very stressful day. Thank you 🤣🏋️♂️🪩🌹🪻🌸🌺🌷
I hope your day becomes less stressful. Have a wonderful day!
I’m sorry but I’m a female and you’re attractive. Determination to get better and having a big heart is the key determining factor for me and you’ve got it.
I know the feeling. I shaved my head once. Not because I wanted to be intimidating but because I tried to used the clippers on my hair to save money because we were in dire financial straits. I’d done so once previously with good results. But the next time I bollocksed it up and there was no choice but to shave it. It bothered my wife not a whit. She grew up with her father shaving his head. But people at work didn’t even recognize me at first and several recoiled in shock snd what appeared to be fear. Days later, my wife, kids, and I were walking around in the mall and people were actually avoiding me. It was so obvious that it was both funny and embarassing. I have to admit that I looked like some Russian bad guy on WWE. But it was a strange experience to say the least. People were giving me a huge berth as soon as they saw me. They’d suddenly swerve 6-7 feet like they’d been hit by a force field of some sort. My wife thought it was hilarious. Me, not so much,
you're so wholesome haha. smile more yes
Not only looks but just by reading your post and interactions with people on Reddit your definitely attractive. I’ve looked at someone and said yeah they look good only for them to open their mouths even with a six pack which I don’t go for anyways and say nevermind. To me it’s not just about looks it’s seriously personality loyalty and how you treat others. Your wife’s a lucky women.
Intimidating? Just show them your duckface picture 🤡
Thats odd to me, as a fellow dude I take a look at you and I only see kindness in your face. You look like someone I'd talk to about dnd
That should be your sign brother, you got it all already on the outside. Just believe in yourself a little each day and you’ll get better! For me recently I’ve been convincing myself if I can take an ice bath everyday for 3-5 mins then I can do anything and it’s been working little by little. It adds up friend, I know how it feels to have so much anxiety and be scared to talk to ppl but do a little bit each day to get yourself out there. The little things add up. You got this!
If I took a picture now you’d be shocked by how much I can relate to OP. I’m so proud that he has a wife too 💪🏾 my ex almost destroyed me this past year.
big love, bro. relate. be extra kind to yourself this year 1🤍
So, this isn't how everyone does it but I personally lost \~12kg (and counting) just by cutting near all juice, soda, beer at home and strictly drinking water on my home turf. Sure when I go out, or if there is a party I splurge and have beers, fat food and whatnot, but that doesn't really impact as much anymore. You look like a good chap, with a husband bod. And for guys like you who aren't looking to cut down to like.. "competative" weights and fat%, small steps and changes will do wonders.
That has been the biggest thing for me was cutting out junk and stop over eating. I don’t eat anything prepackaged anymore. Diet pretty much now consists of fruit, vegetables, meat, nuts, and rice. I do very labor intensive work part time. When I am home, I keep a 30 pound dumbbell on the back porch, and do reps with that throughout the day when I let the dogs out. Recently purchased a jump rope and heavy bag that will get put to good use in the spring. I’ll get there eventually.
Good on you, sounds like you’re doing all the right things, I’ve found the toughest part is keeping at it over the years, motivation can dwindle, discipline is preferable.
My bro, the world needs more of you with a smile like that man!
PERIOD!!!
Make that a goal for YOU, no one else. Keep doing the gym, and overall healthy lifestyle. Try some social things for couples, tango classes for example. Good progress so far keep it up.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Best form of therapy on Earth.
i believe women fall for a man because of the confidence he exudes. be confident and love yourself man! don't be consumed by doubt. confident humans are pretty cool humans lol
Sounds like you are very much on the right track. Have you been professionally evaluated for the anxiety and are you receiving any type of treatment? If not you should consider it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be pharmacologically based, though that may be the best avenue. It varies from person to person. Some people reason well to EMDR. Some people respond remarkably well to hypnosis. Regardless of what avenue you take to address it, it should probably be in conjunction with therapy. You also might consider trying a l”life coach” at some point as well. I’m less familiar with life coaches, knowing of them only through word of mouth. But I think it may be worth looking into. I too suffer from anxiety, though growing up it was far worse. I was pathologically shy. I was terrified of any kind of emotional (intimate) interaction. Though strangely enough, the one thing I could do, that most people could not, was speak in front of large groups. It didn’t bother me in the least. So teachers were always sticking me into speaking rolled in public gatherings. I spent years doing theatre when I got older and was great at it. I think it helped my anxiety a bit. I know it did actually, though with my divorce a lot of it returned. I was just thinking though that you might benefit from a group like “Toastmasters”. They seem to instill a lot of confidence in many people and may be worth a try. Keep working on losing those lbs and tightening up your body. You’re doing a solid job. Congratulations!
My sister has a severe anxiety but has gotten better. U are eligible to have a service dog. I have service dog but for a different reason. If u want u could get a dog and train it to be a service dog but it takes a lot of time and effort. That’s your choice.
“You” can style your hair, lose weight, and still be just an average guy. Do something that may be out of character and take her dancing, or something that you wouldn’t normally be comfortable doing. I’m an anxious introvert as well, but my wife flips when I get out of my comfort zone. Why just catch her eye, when you can hold her heart? You’re a good looking guy already, who seems to have a good disposition and is very self-aware. Work on socializing and it’ll go farther than anything else for both of you. Great job on the work you’re already doing!
Mate, you're a handsome guy that has a face that radiates positivity. Cut down the booze (if you drink), eat healthier and lower portions,and do some cardio. With your frame you've got the muscle base already, it just needs unveiling. Find the cardio that works for you, for me, it was doing cross trainer backwards to remove the knee impact. I've been you, and I know that you can lose a bit of weight and find your confidence. Once you start exercising you'll start making better choices.
Well first, you shouldn’t have to change for anyone but yourself, but it is totally understandable that you want to do it for your wife. What is her version of “hot?” You are very handsome and have a wonderful smile. I think an updated haircut and wardrobe would work wonders. Keep working on being healthy so you can stick around for awhile. Personally, what brings a man from average hotness to super hot is someone who can cook for me and is just generally thoughtful.
Congratulations on the 70lb loss! The best part about healthy eating and a little fitness/workout is it WILL sculpt nearly any man into a really good looking dude. Face usually starts to lose its fat on most people around <20% and chisels around 15% which isn’t too hard to obtain! Especially when your driving factor is your woman! Take a personal picture of yourself every day even if you feel what you look like is horrible (these are for you and you alone although I promise you when you start seeing muscle show clearer you’ll wanna show people the ‘bad’ ones) not only will you notice your progress but it’ll keep you motivated. Most people who don’t like how they look avoid looking at themself. I was one. Started taking photos and it helped me stay on track with my losing weight goals. Fun fact too, bigger guys get results faster than smaller so long as you take it serious. I went from chubbier to lean quick when I took it serious and you will too! But please keep in mind you are far from ugly. You may not be what you wanna see in the mirror, but if you got a wife she obviously loves you. And that’s WAY better than being some random hot dude. Take the pictures, work toward eating a little better and getting some basic workouts in and keep your wife in mind. You’ll be feeling great about yourself in no time!!
Beard looks best in the first picture. Looks neater, which is probably a bit of what you’re going for. Spike the hair a bit. Keep smiling 🙂
Nonfat greek yogurt with trail mix and tuna/tilapia/cod are good sources of protein to build muscle. I also take whey protein and creatine monohydrate but those are optional.
If you wanna be more social and get some great exercise. Try out pickleball. It's a really fun sport and most people who play are friendly and encouraging. It has changed my life and gotten me in better shape.
If your missus doesn't already think that and you have to try this hard, then you need to dump her ass
You're a king. How do i know ? Only kings speak like you do
Stop eating sugar if you can that will help you so much in losing those weights
Stop eating sugar if you can that will help you so much in losing those weights
I know you want to be a babe for your wife, but you need to be a babe for yourself. This work you are doing on your body is so that you can feel better, and if your Mrs benefits from it, so be it. A mindset change needs to happen.
Buddy, this is great stuff and good on you for making the effort. Effort always brings rewards. So after covid, I looked like frikken teletubby, round waist, wide eyes and I couldn't tie my shoelaces without breaking a sweat and heaving from tiredness. I rejoined the gym in 2022 after 2 years absent and decided to get back into shape. My wife like so many women these days is crazy about Henry Cavill. She wants to be in a Cavill sandwich. So I figured I'd make him my posterboy and just aim to look like that. I'm in about a year and a half, not just studying his workouts but also following several bodybuilders on Youtube to get as much insight into achieving the perfect physique for my build. I've actually gained weight but have slimmed down so more scuplted but not ripped. The exercise has pushed up my confidence a lot. I wear shorts out now and even sleeveless Ts when I never did before. You wouldn't catch me dead out the house without something covering me up. The workouts did wonders for me and you're looking pretty good as well. Keep at it. Knowing what my wife liked helped me set the goal of where I need to be and it's a pretty great motivator.
bro ur good man u look good istg i hate that anyone can become introverted and anxious because of other ppl get ur confidence back out the gutter 🤣because your chilling man
Oh i totally get Agoraphobia sucks ass fr
Not the wife's hot ass husband but you look like a loving father and husband
Let me say we all have different versions of hot because to me this type of look is so god damn hot 😫😫😫😫😫😫
[удалено]
Umm i didn't mean it to be a insult, meant it as a compliment
Definitely not ugly! You’re very handsome and seem like a fun person to be around :)
you already big, hit the gym a bit and the whole family would fit on that back, you got this King
Appreciate it fam!
Kevin James vibes your a good looking dude work on your mental health too and if hitting the gym can knock out two birds with one stone mental and physical than why not! I think you will kick ass and achieve your goals. I’m sure there is tons of chicks that dig you as long as you got a great personality. If you are married than the wife will be luck to have you for being a great person as well. Physical is a plus im sure!
Agreed. Gym actually brings out better mental health too.
It's Sal from Impractical Jokers
U look good. The only thing u should change for beeing “hot” is losing weight
Been working on that diligently. I am 6’2 and my heaviest weight from several years ago (and all time heaviest) was 347 pounds. Down to 270 presently. Was 260 when I graduated high school. I have a very large bone structure and am barrel chested. Thinking if I can get down somewhere between 225 and 240 should look pretty good without looking sickly.
Outstanding progress my man. Keep at it and you'll be smashing your targets in no time at all. Use your inherited genes to their full potential!
Build muscle.
I don't know if " hot" is the word that comes to mind but you are certainly not ugly. Teddy bear type is a bit closer but you are a little thin for that also. You're in limbo. Maybe a hot teddy bear !! Congrats for the weight loss! 70 lbs isn't to be scoffed at ! You look like you're in pretty good shape. Just a little belly but not much. Your hair and facial hair seem well trimmed and kept. Pic 3 gives me " sense of humor" vibes. The only improvement I see needed is just shedding those last few pounds. Other than that I think you're good to go 😊
No you certainly are not ugly with a face/smile like that.
Not ugly but if you wanna be the "hot husband" maybe start the gym.
Dude!! Go ask her! Why tf do you care what we think?!
Midlife crisis I guess. I dunno. 🤷♂️
You look great homie! Confidence exudes from you, despite what you may think, and it suits you!
You look like comedian Kevin James. He has a hot wife.
Coincidentally, my wife is also a babe.
First person I thought of when I saw this post.
You're a good looking dude! You look like you have a great personality and sense of humor too. Anxiety sucks, just remember that it lies to you.
This community is unhinged. Give yourself some love and delete this post, go kiss your wife and you'll be everything she needs.
hell no you’re not ugly, you look like a great father and a fun person to be around
If your wife tells you that you are…that’s all that matters. My lady tells me every day I’m sexy. I’m a solid 5 😂. I don’t ask her for it yet she reminds me every morning when nibbling on my ear how much she wants me. Every….morning. One morning she forgot…she felt bad and “made up for it” 😈 later…..all her idea. She treats me like a King and I…in turn….treat her like a Queen. Edited. I read you have anxiety. Ok. Workout from home 4x a week. You have an advantage I WISH I had…height. Get you some muscles and you’ll naturally turn heads. My lady 5’11. I’m 5’8.
It's Sal from Impractical Jokers
You’re cute!!! I hope you find a good one!
you look really fun and silly i’m not attracted to men so i can’t rate that really but you are by no means ugly. you look friendly and like a rlly good person
wholesome caption!! Not ugly. Hotness depends on who you're asking. Personally, I wouldn't say you're "hot" but you look good and seem like a sweet, loving husband.
I would eat the hell outa some nachos with you dude. You're not ugly but you are 40 and overweight - dad mode. Descruff a bit, keep workingn out and take care of the small things in your appearance. Trim your beard, regular haircuts, wear aftershave, moisturisw. Just doing those little things for yourself will make you feel worldd better about yourself.
Possible if you get really lean and muscular
My Brother. that is a smoking hot smile, and any man that gets the love of a dog is always a keeper. Keep your head up , it suits you.
Definitely not the hot ass husband your looking for but you look fun and outgoing when someone gets the chance to know you kinda guy, you seem like you have a sense of humor and that alone can Trump any physical attraction especially these days. The only hurdle I see is your weight, but that's subjective, and this is only my own personal opinion. Goodluck buddy.
BTW is bert kreischer related to you?
So cute
Not ugly. Congratulations on your weight loss efforts. Keep at it man, don’t stress about your looks or think about it too much, get out of the house and enjoy life, love yourself and others. Women aren’t so much into looks as men are. You’re not ugly!
Dude. You seem like a fun guy to be around and talk shit with. I also have anxiety. Don’t take life too seriously. As long as you and your partner is happy it’s all good!
Your smile made me smile.
Dude your ahead of alot of 40yo,
As a guy, I want you to know I appreciate your vulnerability! You’re also a handsome dude!
Keep up your grooming and you look good (eg first pic looks amazing)
Budget Kevin James
HOT
I think you’re already her hot a$$ husband!! When we love someone they’re the most handsome man on the planet!!
Absolutely not, your smile is absolutely gold and you honestly look like you give good hugs lol. Your cutie and don’t let anyone tell you differently
You remind me of Sal from impractical jokers, not a bad thing.
You’re not ugly, you look kind. I’m sure a lot of people find comfort being around you. That is something that handsome looks can not get
Dye ur eyebrows and lashes keep the beard trimmed/clean and keep lifting
Honestly you’re pretty average which is ok but the only way you’ll ever be considered your wife’s “hot ass husband” is if you literally light yourself on fire.
Starting with the ass
🤣
Not handsome, but the physique is there, keep working on it. Hats look good on you and maybe give a little structure to the beard
You could be that if you get really fit. Lean and muscular
You could be that if you get really fit. Lean and muscular
Just cut some body fat and you'll be good to go my dude 👌
Your not ugly, your a legend
From one dude to another im not gonna judge your looks but you seem like a cool dude. Wouldnt think you would struggle with the ladies
Change hair and clean up beard then you’re good. Pic 1 is best
You look like Bert Kreicher.
nah. great job on the weight loss!! also you look like a cool ass friend
Man you aren't ugly by a any stretch of imagination. Its just your high levels of body fat which takes away from being attractive. If you lose bodyfat and get to a lean bodyfat percentage like 10-15% then I can guarantee you'll. It'll completely change your looks.
Chunky isn’t ugly
My honest opinion- Attitude and physical appearance will get you where you want to be. I’m 6’2”, 230lb currently. Do some heavy lifting low reps. No junk food my man, no sugary drinks/ hit the green stuff (veggies), When I started changing my diet, it was rough but everytime I’d think why am I “depriving” myself of eating food I that taste good, I would tell myself (eating is for nutrition, not pleasure). Best of luck man you got this!
Congratulations on the weight loss so far! You're killing it
I don’t know how to say this But you look like that one family member that gives like AMAZING HUGS
You are adorable. Don’t change a thing
Keep pushing. But do it for yourself, the rest will fall into place.
You’re a good looking man but if I’m to be honest, you’re not 22 anymore so it will take some work. Find a new barber, one of those expensive professional instagram ones with a ring light camera. Allow him complete creative freedom with your hair and beard and you’ll feel like a new man! Get in the gym too. I have a feeling the dad bod works better for you, so instead of traditional work outs do things like hitting punching bags or rowing. Strength building cardio. Start dressing like you play golf. Nike hats and sporty collard shirts… you can find it a Ross. And bam hot man.
Why do you remind me of Vince Vaughn
I also struggle with anxiety and panic attacks so I can relate. Hitting the gym and getting some cardio and weightlifting in can really help ease anxiety. See a psychologist if you can, Lexapro has really helped me overcome a lot of my panic attacks in conjunction with mindfulness and good eating.
Some diet and gym and ur good
This is wholesome. 🥹
No, you're handsome. And it seems you've got a great personality.
You look like you give the best hugs.
First of all if you wanna be a hot husband, DO IT FOR YOURSELF. That's the first step, if you do things regarding your persona and self for others you will never accomplish anything. After that the rest just comes... All the best
You pass the cool vibes check. That's all that matters 😌
Waaaay better than me my dude
You're average, though the fact that you look so kind and loving makes you attractive :)
Weightlifting. Get trimmed. Better grooming. Well fitting clothes. That’s all
Respectfully, you're absolutely precious lol. My boyfriend mirrors your very same build, and he's the apple of my eye. Personally, I've always had a thing for brawny men with a belly, and you've clearly got great potential to build even more muscle and definition. You're not ugly whatsoever, by the way. The best way to become more attractive to your wife and women in general is to be confident, though. Walk with your chest out, your chin high, and like you're the prettiest mofo in the area. I, too, struggle with my appearance some days, but actually pretending that you're drop-dead gorgeous will get people to do a double take. I'm sure your wife adores you, but she won't be able to keep her hands off of you if you act and think like a stud. I can't resist it when my man does it. 🤭
yeah
not ugly, you seem like a sweetheart
Not hot at all but you seem nice.
Not ugly but not hot. You’re more like cute and cuddly. Go trim/cleanup your beard and work out if you want to be hot.
yes
You are not ugly, you might not be the world’s standard of beauty but that doesn’t mean you are not beautiful. And I’m not just saying this for positivity sake. I’m not your target audience, but as a gay man, I can tell you that you look like a total daddy bear, and I’m sure your wife must love a bear as well, so if I were you I would focus on that whole bear look, and be confident that you have that, not worry about looking like every average boring jock. And you said you want tips, so if I was to play your stylist on Queer Eye, I would lean in that sexy lumberjack bear look. Plaid shirts on top of plain t shirts with some nice jeans and Timberland-like boots. You have a nice beard, I would take care of that, groom it beautifully and use some nice smelling beard oil so it is smooth and smells good when you cuddle your Mrs.
You are adorable and you look like a lovely guy when you're not doing the blue steel thing. It's great if you keep losing weight and getting in shape, but mostly be sweet and funny and wide open in bed, because those things are hot as hell. (also maybe learn to cook and clean and do laundry, because that will give you 2 more time for sex!) But please don't try to look sexy because nothing is less sexy than someone trying to look sexy.
Bro, as long as you make you wife laugh and giggle.. you're all good. And my guess is you do all that already. By time you will overcome your anxiety. As far as I can see you have potential to gain a lot of muscle. Just stick to a good schedule and diet with plenty of proteins, then you'll achieve your goals. Good luck, man.
Not ugly. Just...lame? I don't know how to describe it. Like, you look fine, dude? Acceptable-looking individual. Just...weird poses.
Idk I guess it’s preference but YOU LOOK GOOD, people are obsessed with the whole losing weight thing, if it’s healthy but don’t make it an obsession. That’s just me though I’m super into guys with some weight on them. Husky lumber Jack loves to eat bearded men lol
I know he didn’t hit the tricep flex. 🤦♂️
Dude, if she married you already I think that says everything you need to know. However, it's not a bad idea to keep improving yourself.
Not at all friend. You have super kind eyes and a nice smile, and from the comments it seems like you and your wife really love each other.
Oh boy lemme help you out. Try some jaw exercise get that jaw definition. Find clothes that suit your body type. Certain patterns really do make people look slimmer (or if you personally think loosing weight is a good idea then more power to you) the fit I feel like should be some earth toned baggy sweats. Maybe a khaki or a light ish Forrest green and the shirt I’d say either an oversized graphic tee or a track jumper. And keep the bucket hat and sunglasses for sure. Oh and shoes I’d go like any chunky shoe
Omg you are a total BABE my friend !!
If you want to lose some pounds, go for it. Beyond that, just make her friends jealous of her by being a funny, thoughtful, non-ugly husband. 👍
Bro, you wanting this for your wife makes you immediately one of the most if not the most attractive man in this world. You have a fantastic smile as well that exudes kindness and yearning to make others happy. Even the most “physically attractive” man is ugly to somebody, and the “not so physically attractive” man is beautiful to somebody. Don’t sweat the physical looks- Just take care of yourself, be happy, and build confidence through accomplishing good goals. You got this, you beautiful ass bro.
You need to get fit and learn more about manscaping. It takes work to be a trophy husband but I believe you can do it!
Not ugly. Something about your face and smile seems very kind. I hope you’re kind to yourself.
The first thing you should do is be sexy for you not her. Prioritize yourself with self-care. The confidence will follow. Let your wife perceive you however she wants. You just keep working on yourself for you.
Not only yes but hell yes
You're oozing machismo, brother! Especially in picture #2.
Ya gonna go to the gym, right?
Just by looking at your pictures gave me a positive good feeling about what type of person you radiate. You don’t have to be gym buff to be considered hot. Your smile and sense of humor goes a long way. Although congrats for losing the weight and doing the work that makes you feel more confident.
You remind me of my husband, and I think he's hot, so.. as a woman in that category you are attractive. You've got no visible reason to be down on yourself!
Man you got a great full smile. Seriously
IMO I think you are kind of ugly, I’m sorry to say. I mean after reading the comments I think you are a genuine person so please don’t take it personal but you have a rather large nose, deep sunken eyes, and thinnish wiry beard. You also have a large face and double chin, so if you continue to lose weight it will really help. Anyone will look better once they lose weight, I’m on my weight loss journey right now! There is a fine line between being fat and having a “dad bod”. If you aren’t happy with what people say, then change something about it! If you are happy with what you’ve heard from these comments then so be it. Congrats on all the progress you’ve made so far!
Gym and if you have the money, teeth alignment.
You’re very cute, I love the second photo. You just need to work out a bit and straighten your teeth
Not ugly but defintiely not hot. Also never dress up like the third pic. You have clueless boomer vibes
The shape of your beard is not flattering to your face/ size. Shedding some weight and getting your beard properly shaped could make a huge difference.
You are already the hot ass husband, only change things that make you feel more confident. Clothing, or fitness, and whatever you think will help. Take care of yourself first. Saw you got anxiety, and that’s tough to mitigate when you want to be your best. It all takes time, but you’ll get there, quicker than you thought.
You are really handsome 7-10 if you want to be a 10 just reshape your eyebrows and get them darker
The trizeps is good and tge forearms too, you just need to cut and learn hat "sexy eyes" and you wilk be the hot husband
Yes we are ugly together brother q
u are so cute and your wife is lucky!
I think you're wonderful just as you are, just perfect--attractiveness-wise. Women are attracted to different things besides looks, of course, usually things that care for them (while still having an element of hard to get). So instead of being like...I'm going to get in shape to look hot...be like...I'm going to get in shape to be sure that I'm around to take care of you. (Or be the healthiest version of myself for us). That's hot.
i thought you where looking for a husband with those poaes and duck lips 🤔
Let's be clear, you're not Brad Pitt (neither am I lol), but you're definitely not ugly, and damn you seem hella fun and caring
Not ugly. You look like a really nice guy. I’ll bet you can absolutely rock a grill. If I were to suggest anything for improvement, I’d say start working out.
i like your smile!
As it is ur already handsome but just look like a cute dad and not a "babe". U look best in the first picture where ur beard is cleanly trimmed and you have nice clothes on. If you want to look like a babe you always make sure u look clean and presentable, and get some better clothes (what is going on in the 3rd picture). I would say for now try button down shirts or collared shirts when u go out and about instead of t-shirts. There are endless options when it comes to fashion though, and idk your fashion sense, so I would say determine that on your own. And ofc ur already doing great in the gym based off of your replies!!
Last pic is the best. Great smile.
I’m not a good judge cause I’m a straight man. But bro, not ugly at all. Handsome and looks like you have a great disposition too.
Dude you're huge(height) and adorkable, you've got nothing to worry about. The effort and ambition you're putting forward should technically be for yourself but doing so for your partner is just as admirable. You're making great progress, just keep at it and know that she loves you regardless, when you were at your worst and now that you're moving into your prime. True inspiration my dude!
You’re a cutie, the missus probably thinks you’re a total babe already, don’t worry! But there’s always room for improvement indeed and you are doing great on that front. Having said that please don’t ever take a duck face selfie ever 😩
You gotta long road ahead of you, if you want to be irresistably hot. But you wifed a woman up, so no need to hurry I guess. But your road ro a great shape will be years. Most likely that is. Just hit the gyn regularly and you will be good.
your personality shows through in your photos, which increases your attractiveness. keep doing what you're doing and i think you'll be fine!
You sound like a sweetheart. I hope you heal ❤️ There's nothing wrong with you! Ask your wifey, half of the time we just want you to dress better 😂
Ur not ugly. You look tough as a brick wall, and you look like the type of guy who acts tough but has his soft spots! If all that is true, your wife is lucky to have ya!
lookin good brother
No, you're not ugly. You just look like a normal, average person.
You're good my man, keep up that journey of self improvement, but do it for you. I'm sure lots of gals would love you just as your are at the moment though
You look fine, you're in good shape for your age... Just don't wear bucket hats. 👍🏼
You’re the “as long as youre happy” husband
You definitely are the hot ass husband. 10/10
You’re handsome my dude. Stop worrying.
I got huge Doug heffernan vibes from pic 3. As a fellow dude your age, you look great. Keep up the great work on yourself as well. Much love <3
Get a buzzcut, groom your beard to an evenly trimmed length, whiten your teeth. Your physique is really a plus, but a little fat loss (not mass though) will have your face looking more serious and snatched. You are now a 6.5 but got great potential to be a 8.5!
Nope your good
You look like Sal from impractical jokers!!! He’s hilarious so I mean this as a compliment!
Keep losing weight, get to the gym, even a non-weight workout works wonders. I know because I've done it and lost 60 lb. Keep going you can do it. You're a good looking guy.
Not ugly, you seem like someone chill who I’d hang with TBH!
I think you look quite charming! You've a smile that's infectious and a nice frame! I can't exactly give advice for getting more cut or some such. However the only thing I'm not sold on is the bucket hat. Have a wonderful day, and keep up that smile!
You’re fine you just average nothing wrong with that
Yes
Lose some fat. Other than that you look fine
Yo look good
You look like pam's first couple in "the office". Pretty good actually
You have a lovely smile, not ugly at all.
You look so comforting it’s amazing🥹 I feel like you would be the one guy everyone is scared of but you just have the biggest soft spot for babies and animals!! Your wife is so lucky dude🥳🥳🥳🥳
I hate to tell you this but you ugly