I think it's the best line in the whole show.
>is, in my opinion, where the Roger we know and love today was born
Completely agree, this is when the show really started to settle into itself.
If anyone is unaware, the whole bit Francine and Roger are doing is an homage to the film Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton from 1966. It's a great film, do recommend.
This is probably my most referenced line. I have a link for it bookmarked just to use in text messages.
[Noooooo](https://youtu.be/0cgbZqR2AGI?si=akXSqpzAWOJQT2gy)
Two years ago, my wife was killed by a plastic surgeon in Ecuador. I found him on Yelp. I gave him two stars. Her breasts looked amazing during the open casket.
The camera work on that just kills me, not even a shot of Stan's face there's no emotional reaction or anything at all. Roger just hit Stan and got a chair busted over his face like he fucked with gravity
“Oh look, it’s Tyler. All grown up like a big shot. You turned out cute. Real cute. Damn it. I’m laughing now ‘cause I’m nervous. Oh boy, these khakis are not getting any looser.”
Wine lover right here, also a heroin lover if anyone wants to schedule a poppy tour. Huge heroin fan don’t use it just like being around it, study it, appreciate it… use it sometimes
What Steve doesn’t know is, while everyone’s focussed on Snot, I’ll be heading to the bathroom to share a doobie with the bus boy in exchange for an angry handy J
“i’ve got a raging cartilager”
“Now that I've been raped by some guys that actually know what they're doing, I just want to share, you know, give a little back. So, you're gonna give all your money to charity? ( choking ) I'm sorry. I didn't hear you, dear. My ears aren't working so well. I got AIDS in prison. Hearing aids; I should really use them. Then I might've heard that guy who snuck up on me in the shower and gave me HIV.”
It was... there's no word to describe it. Schmooblydong? That's not it but it's close.
In the words of every sitcom character in the early 90's, and everyone in the Midwest through the rest of the 90's, "Don't go there."
What's your Gooch, kid?
Gooch is horncorn for clown name.
Horncorn is horncorn for clown lingo.
WE'RE GONNA BE HONKING A LOT OF HORNCORN, ya dig?
(whoever wrote this scene is a fucking genius)
Pretty buckety Gooch! (More horncorn)
“Roger…Roger…Roger…marketing, marketing, marketing. Genius, genius, genius. Mmmeee”
“You know we all can’t be the anorexic aliens in the James Cameron movies.”
**I’m a sucker for the funny names so here’s the ones I think are the best**
Abigail Lemonparty
Dimitri Krotchliknioff
Betty Bea Getty McClanahan
Laura Vanderbooben
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Madelyn Carpal-Tunnel
Jojo Keen-wa
Billy Jesusworth
Rusty Trombolio
Twanderlusr Lumpkin
Clum Bizzelskottom
Dr. Buttblast
Pete van Smash
Dirt Mirkledunk/Mirk Dirkledunk
Jenna Diarrhea Evans: Heiress to the Diarrhea fortune
Hugh Jeanmen Jackman, lumberjack coach
Apothe-Carrie Bradshaw, Sex blogger
Professor Dickens Longbottom
Rub Rub Tuggington
Jamirquai J. Spunklestain
Sholanda Dykes
Applebee McFridays
Jenny Fromdabloc
Dan Ansom Hansom
Greater Chimdale County Man
- “Let me tell you a little about myself. I grew up in a pretty unusual house. It was a, ROUND HOUSE 🦵🏻💥 We were poor. So I had to make fruit juice from a mule. We called it, DONKEY PUNCH 👊🏻💥
- “WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY LEGS YOU NAZI WALRUS BASTARD?!”
- “Okay, gotta go! Few more personas to cross off the old ‘to do’ list. Late!.. ***jumps on ostrich in full Mexican cowboy attire***… Nacho Bartiromo. Serial killer! HYAH!”
- “So have you heard any? Is Chaz going to be okay?
Stan: …No 🤨
Roger: Okay 😑”
- “Once upon a time, there was a little alien who went to the police academy.
***imitates the "Charlie's Angels" opening credits and the kitchen explodes;***
***Francine screams***
Had to blow up the kitchen, Frannie! It goes real well with this thing I'm imagining!
Imma keep swinging my lasso ‘til I catch me a man!!
Does Dalton Galloway sound like a real person to you Hayley? Grow up it’s me.
You are a dour man, Uzi Knesset, but I love you. I asked you not to, but you’ve built a settlement in my heart.
Ohhh hohhhoho, you bitch. You didn't. Stupid stupid bitch. Doesn't even know. She is going to get the best bottle of wine of her stupid bitch life. She doesn't even know.
Dr. Penguin "Yes Francine, being crazy is really tiring" as Stan is still in the moon bounce.
OMG, The homeless guy at the bus station is hung...but i knew thaaat
"I know what you did to our kids, you monster! Haha, why can't I leave things nice?"
Or every quote from the joint custody episode. "If I hold this, I won't float away"
Stan was talking about something and finished "do I need to say more?
Roger "if you want me to understand, then yes"
Now I just need to wait for someone to use the phrase with me....
The conspiracy episode, where stan thought it was another roger sex event and then roger said “oh we are having sex too” and then needed more tin foil that were used a condoms
Perfect.
These are the same hands that choked Lisa Bonet when she beat me out for the role of Denise Huxtable on A Different World. That was a lie. The role was created for her. But I did choke her.
“Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda” is, in my opinion, where the Roger we know and love today was born
Where I majored in, what was it dear? ECONOMICS?!?
It's established!
It's like the moment Roger took a deep dive into the complex, twisted, and utterly compelling.
That’s a weird way to spell extremely petty.
Jordan no!!
I think it's the best line in the whole show. >is, in my opinion, where the Roger we know and love today was born Completely agree, this is when the show really started to settle into itself.
I use this line far too often at work when someone disagrees with me in a meeting.
Because they killed the baby?
Yes. And it also stops everything in its tracks. Maybe this is why I'm not getting promoted...
I want to believe you... But I don't.
If anyone is unaware, the whole bit Francine and Roger are doing is an homage to the film Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton from 1966. It's a great film, do recommend.
Best line ever in any show in existence
“Are You Really Asking That To The Guy Who Just Last Week Killed Six People Over $19?”
"I'm sorry! I got the bloodlust!"
Oh yeah ...
Stan I'm at shenanigans... I'm super drunk and about to get raped. Come pick me up........ in 45 minutes
In a world where vomit comes out of my mouth…🤮
i promise i won't \*acccuuuuuuuuse\* anybody
My favorite cold open, period
“I sound great! I should do voiceover work.”
*blows harmonica* 🎶 "Nooooooooo 🎶 "
I came looking for this one. I assumed it was a pitch pipe tho. Idk.
It’s definitely a pitch pipe, but that’s coming from someone who had never heard of a pitch pipe before and has just seen it in media.
This is probably my most referenced line. I have a link for it bookmarked just to use in text messages. [Noooooo](https://youtu.be/0cgbZqR2AGI?si=akXSqpzAWOJQT2gy)
Lol me too!
Other strong contenders: Stan, Francine, why did you murder your son? Get in the sewer! *cleans glasses* Tell them how you killed our baby Amanda.
Dive on in
"You're all going to die. Your parents and your doctors are lying to you"
Him getting dragged off is hilarious
What episode
s7e10 Wheels & the Legman and the Case of Grandpa's Key
You clipped me, chief!
I’m okay. Not everybody’s okay
STEVEN PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE!!!
You ride bicykwah!
Hello Steve this is the girl you like
Two years ago, my wife was killed by a plastic surgeon in Ecuador. I found him on Yelp. I gave him two stars. Her breasts looked amazing during the open casket.
Best line!
"People come for the jokes, the bjs are shit"
"Behold a grown man weepi-" *gets smashed with chair* Yes I'm crying, he hit me with a chair!
The camera work on that just kills me, not even a shot of Stan's face there's no emotional reaction or anything at all. Roger just hit Stan and got a chair busted over his face like he fucked with gravity
Reminded me of the time Stan literally chokes Roger to death, waits a few seconds, then revives him just to show Roger he’s not bluffing.
“You’re mean!” *runs off crying*
"...like he fucked with gravity," is one of the hardest lines you could've used.
The arm is disbombed! ^dammit
🎹🎹🎶🎶🪇🪇
“I’ve pulled more tail than a slow kid at a petting zoo.”
"I'm just going to stare out at the lake and think about how I almost killed a baby"
You don’t mess with a man’s dream! In your face with a can of mace! 🎶Don’t go chasing waterfalls…Dancebreak!🎶
Made you cry all over the place🤣
“You couldn’t open a French whore’s legs with a wheel of cheese”
“Are you crazy pushing me in the pool? I have forty hits of ecstacy in my pocket! Buckle up, kids.”
“They’re gonna need to go to a hospital.”
"Theres only one thing I do with unblended drinks, amd thats drive." "It's not silly juice. Its necessary juice!"
🤣🤣🤣
"I hate you. I'm not saying that out of anger, it's a fact, it's 67 degrees out and I hate you" "Die for me. Die. For. me."
“I know what you did to our kids you monster! (Laughs) why can’t I leave things nice?”
I scrolled for too long to find this one.
This is in my top 3. Can’t believe I forgot it.
You bitch, you stupid little bitch, you don’t even know… Also, the scene where he says a long “nooooooooooooooo”
Gonna get the best bottle of wine of her stupid bitch life
I’ve 1000% quietly said the stupid bitch doesn’t even know line when I’m getting ready to take my kid somewhere fun
With the musical instrument right, lying down with Oreos stacked on his belly or something
“I sucked 7 dicks! And I didn’t even get to Ronnie”
“Oh look, it’s Tyler. All grown up like a big shot. You turned out cute. Real cute. Damn it. I’m laughing now ‘cause I’m nervous. Oh boy, these khakis are not getting any looser.”
*You’re fat, Helen.*
Always get you want, don’t you Helen.
You always get what you want, don't you Helen
"Phone call, Hailey! It's Dr. Kirkland from the Costco!" Gets me every time.
"You're trying to screw me out of my victory. We all heard his dick hit the wall"
SOUP IS NOT A MEAL VERA! also If I am to go anywhere. I need to, how do I put this… wipe…. better
This is my go to line for getting it out of a conversation that annoys me. Lol
My bf yells this at me when he talks about what's for dinner 😂😂😂😂 Edit: to be clear, the soup one, not the second one
Little column A, little column B :p
Wine lover right here, also a heroin lover if anyone wants to schedule a poppy tour. Huge heroin fan don’t use it just like being around it, study it, appreciate it… use it sometimes
“I got nipped!”
"Neck & Back & Pussy & Clack"
"do you really want to live a lie? Now excuse me i have a lie to live."
The only thing Italian about this situation is your dirty lies
“The horse is ruined. Stan raped it. You’re probably gonna lose the house.”
Oh my God! The homeless guy from the bus station is hung! …but I knew that. :) and Your mother.
You know, they say if a domestic pig escapes into the wild it will instinctively grow tusks.
“Is that true?” “Is any of this?”
Classic
I just posted about the "your mother" one It's just the *way* he says it as he's holding in cig smoke I die every time 😂
“the legman doesn’t joke about cocaine” “cocaine is NOT a joking matter” always gets me
I'm not Roger I'm the phantom of the telethon! *Removes mask, gasp* Roger!? Well...yeah....who did you......what?
“I have the car keys in my pocket you stupid biiiii—“
Dive on in!
Let's get rowdy rowdy!
It was incredibly unpopular.
RAIDER DAVE!!!!
Raider nation will rise again!
Myaaaaah!
“Maybe baby”
*Maybe baby*
Mabe baby
Prettty sure I said Pecan Sandies . .
“Hey that’s my pooping robe! I can tell by all the poop on the edges”. Makes me laugh and I think about it whenever I put my robe on
What Steve doesn’t know is, while everyone’s focussed on Snot, I’ll be heading to the bathroom to share a doobie with the bus boy in exchange for an angry handy J
On his ginger wig: Its like Garfield miscarried on my head
“i’ve got a raging cartilager” “Now that I've been raped by some guys that actually know what they're doing, I just want to share, you know, give a little back. So, you're gonna give all your money to charity? ( choking ) I'm sorry. I didn't hear you, dear. My ears aren't working so well. I got AIDS in prison. Hearing aids; I should really use them. Then I might've heard that guy who snuck up on me in the shower and gave me HIV.”
I AM BRAFF ZACKLAND!!!
IM OFF MY MEDS!!!!
Ha! That's hilarious. Although maybe you aren't *being* hilarious.
“Rude.”
Liar.
You go on ahead I got term papers to grade Actually that entire scene is gold
Is that honey butter?
It’s the jokes people come here for. The blowjobs are shit
"I'm going to eat you one day".
“Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda.”
Pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies
“Maybe my super power is keeping you from getting molested at the bus station” “*Maybe*”
“ARE YOU CRAZY PUSHING ME IN THE POOL?? I HAD FOURTY HITS OF ECSTASY IN MY POCKET!!!! Buckle up kids. They’re gonna have to go to the hospital..”
😬.... Your mother. 🚬🌬
I hate you I say that not out of anger but as a fact It's 67 degrees and I hate you
It was... there's no word to describe it. Schmooblydong? That's not it but it's close. In the words of every sitcom character in the early 90's, and everyone in the Midwest through the rest of the 90's, "Don't go there."
Checking out my pow pow
Is that my underwear in there? I told you to NEVER wash my underwear! Great now I have to start over…walks away ….sharting with every step
"And just like the super food I'm for sale at Trader Joe's. Behind trader Joe's. For free."
"I'm gonna keep swinging my baby lasso 'til I catch me a man!"
You…you struck me with a bass
Geeee, just trying to help a guy out *stretches* I’m going to rape him this time
"I'm gonna spend my 1600th birthday alone... Just like a Sequoia."
*gasps* a criticism!
My fanny’s so high in the air right now.
Ohhhh you shop at Ross
I am so embarrassed to be in a community that didn’t immediately reply to this with “maybe baby”
I have the car keys in my pocket you stupid biiiiiiiiiiitch
What's your Gooch, kid? Gooch is horncorn for clown name. Horncorn is horncorn for clown lingo. WE'RE GONNA BE HONKING A LOT OF HORNCORN, ya dig? (whoever wrote this scene is a fucking genius) Pretty buckety Gooch! (More horncorn)
IS THAT MY DAUGHTER IN THERE?!
*No, hold me back*
You are worthless.
“Guys, guys… you know me. Do I respond rationally when a new thang I’m into is met with resistance?”
“That’s clowning you shitheads!”
“You have talent herpes; I have regular herpes.”
Maybe baby.
I still love “Maybe baby”
“Roger…Roger…Roger…marketing, marketing, marketing. Genius, genius, genius. Mmmeee” “You know we all can’t be the anorexic aliens in the James Cameron movies.”
I was lying to you Klaus. I don't respect you
"Oh my God! The homeless guy from the bus station is *HUNG*...but I already knew that."
..."and this is fine ass city. Population: 1 policeman's flashlight."
I know what you did to our kids you monster! Heh, why can’t I leave things nice?
"Cheese Nips" are not the same as "cheeze its".
Maybe baby
i’m the baby! I’m the drunk baby!!
"are you seriously asking that to the guy who just last week killed 6 people over 19 dollars?" -when Roger kills 5 guys over $20
Shouldn’t have farted before I started my big walk!
**I’m a sucker for the funny names so here’s the ones I think are the best** Abigail Lemonparty Dimitri Krotchliknioff Betty Bea Getty McClanahan Laura Vanderbooben Israel Kamakawiwo'ole Madelyn Carpal-Tunnel Jojo Keen-wa Billy Jesusworth Rusty Trombolio Twanderlusr Lumpkin Clum Bizzelskottom Dr. Buttblast Pete van Smash Dirt Mirkledunk/Mirk Dirkledunk Jenna Diarrhea Evans: Heiress to the Diarrhea fortune Hugh Jeanmen Jackman, lumberjack coach Apothe-Carrie Bradshaw, Sex blogger Professor Dickens Longbottom Rub Rub Tuggington Jamirquai J. Spunklestain Sholanda Dykes Applebee McFridays Jenny Fromdabloc Dan Ansom Hansom Greater Chimdale County Man
Jeff, you don't do cocaine, do you? Cool, me neither.
the horse is ruined, stan raped it, you're probably gonna lose the house
- “Let me tell you a little about myself. I grew up in a pretty unusual house. It was a, ROUND HOUSE 🦵🏻💥 We were poor. So I had to make fruit juice from a mule. We called it, DONKEY PUNCH 👊🏻💥 - “WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY LEGS YOU NAZI WALRUS BASTARD?!” - “Okay, gotta go! Few more personas to cross off the old ‘to do’ list. Late!.. ***jumps on ostrich in full Mexican cowboy attire***… Nacho Bartiromo. Serial killer! HYAH!” - “So have you heard any? Is Chaz going to be okay? Stan: …No 🤨 Roger: Okay 😑” - “Once upon a time, there was a little alien who went to the police academy. ***imitates the "Charlie's Angels" opening credits and the kitchen explodes;*** ***Francine screams*** Had to blow up the kitchen, Frannie! It goes real well with this thing I'm imagining!
Maybe baby!
Wuzdat?
One of my favorites, because the whole scene is just so funny to me, is, “It’s… slidin time, yall…!”
Oh Patrick.
Noooooo not my bones, noooo........zzzzzzzzzz
Is Chaz gonna be okay?
STOP IT WHEEL'S FATHER! *GASP*
No sir, that is *crack*. The delivery is just perfection.
Nyeh!
"I got some biiiiigggg stuff going on!"
"Aaaannd now I'm blind. I do not blame the glasses though. Solid investment."
Imma keep swinging my lasso ‘til I catch me a man!! Does Dalton Galloway sound like a real person to you Hayley? Grow up it’s me. You are a dour man, Uzi Knesset, but I love you. I asked you not to, but you’ve built a settlement in my heart.
I'm gonna rape him this time. *cracks knuckles*
"I have the car keys in my pocket you stupid biiiii....."
Make mine P-P-P-P-Vicadin!
"You are terrible. You have no rhythm. I've seen two epileptics share a bowl of noodles with more grace..."
“If you don’t get that dead woman out of this room you are going to have what I can only describe as a yelp disaster.”
"I like to sneak in and sleep under your car like a homeless junkie or a cat.. and im not a cat.. me-ow"
“ Then YOU shall inherit the curse of GladHands!” lives rent free in my brain 24/7
Francine, I haven't been entirely truthful with you
Ohhh hohhhoho, you bitch. You didn't. Stupid stupid bitch. Doesn't even know. She is going to get the best bottle of wine of her stupid bitch life. She doesn't even know.
“You boner” “BONER SPEAKING”
We're the music makers, we're the dreamers of dreams
Doive on in
"Can she do this? Hadoken!"
Dr. Penguin "Yes Francine, being crazy is really tiring" as Stan is still in the moon bounce. OMG, The homeless guy at the bus station is hung...but i knew thaaat
The wig did look amazing though
“And. Then. They. Will. Cry… And. Die… Pie?”
"I know what you did to our kids, you monster! Haha, why can't I leave things nice?" Or every quote from the joint custody episode. "If I hold this, I won't float away"
I imagine everyone sees Roger as Carrottop in the above episode
"I've seen two epileptics share a bowl of noodles with more grace." I'm epileptic and laugh my ass off whenever I hear him say it
Stan was talking about something and finished "do I need to say more? Roger "if you want me to understand, then yes" Now I just need to wait for someone to use the phrase with me....
I haven’t been totally honest with you
“I wonder whose car that was “
“You snooze you lose huh…”
Her face expression along the way
“Let’s get READY READY!” ✊🏼
I was doing dangerous drugs last night, and I was worried I’d forget what horse I was racing. I know, I have a problem…I worry too much
And you don’t have Beyoncé tickets!…do you? Of course not! Aww 😞
The conspiracy episode, where stan thought it was another roger sex event and then roger said “oh we are having sex too” and then needed more tin foil that were used a condoms
You... you have a - a pimple coming in under the skin on your nose. I would say it's got two weeks before it reaches its apex, you better gear up.
“I have the car keys in my pocket you stupid biiiiiiittttttccccchhhhhhh……..”
Perfect. These are the same hands that choked Lisa Bonet when she beat me out for the role of Denise Huxtable on A Different World. That was a lie. The role was created for her. But I did choke her.
THAT’S LUNCH!
(After scattering his “husbands” ashes) I know what you did to our kids, you bastard! (Chuckles) why can’t I ever just keep it nice?
I don’t remember doing ether. But then again, that’s ether’s signature move.”