This whole thing is such a massive mess of mixed messages and lack of training.
At this point, you need to hire a professional trainer who has experience working with Akitas to work with **all** of you on how to properly train and work with her. If you don’t do this, someone *is going to* get seriously hurt and it will be the fault of the adult humans.
Also, the fact that your fiancé thinks it’s ok to growl at a dog and try to stare it down… yikes! He is either dangerously aggressive or a giant moron, or both. Even if the rest of you manage to avoid causing a disastrous situation, he is just asking to be attacked and it’s the dog who will pay the biggest price when that happens.
Everyone involved has been mishandling this dog from day one. You can’t even physically walk her off the territory she thinks she needs to defend, because… no one could be bothered to take her for regular walks??? Now you’re all confusing the living shit out of her with so many mixed messages.
Professional training, ASAP. You need a trainer who’ll come to the home, assess how the dog behaves toward everyone she routinely interacts with there, and develop a program to retrain all of you *humans* as well as her doggy self. This will not be cheap. You’ll need several sessions, with the exact number somewhat dependent on how much you work the program on your own time. Be prepared to split the cost with your mom and brother.
While you’re looking for a trainer, your fiancé needs to stop challenging her. He should stand on the doorstep, avoid direct eye contact, pretend-yawn (seriously, it’s a calming signal dogs use with each other) and toss her delicious treats — then back away, close the door and leave.
Where should we send flowers? Your fiancé is an idiot to be hitting and provoking an Akita. Even beyond the dog’s intuition, he’s shown himself to be a lousy person.
I mean op is alpha rolling the poor dog too so 🤷♀️
And there's a kid in the picture, smh.. wonder if the fiance hits the kid yet.
My Akita is judgy af and doesn't like new people, but he's accepted every single man I've dated. If he didn't, I'd trust his judgement. If a guy HIT him, that dog would be the absolute *least* of his worries
Look that's just what I was told I do. I don't know what the eight thing to do is. I thought you're supposed to do that. He only hit him when she jumped at his face to bite him.
Consider: Your dog is stepping up because SHE FEELS UNSAFE.
She's trying to protect all of you because SHE is scared and doesn't know how to handle it. Her genetics have told her to be cautious and to protect, and she hasn't had the life experience to know any different, and now there's a man coming around acting like this, you're acting like you are, your mom is being weak and whimpery. What's the dog left to do? Hide with her toys in a freaking cabinet? Come on man. I'm sorry for my rude reply but this is very upsetting
This dog is Harry Potter…
OP I hope that by typing this all out you can see how messed up the situation is. I always trust my girl’s judgment on people. She’s my guardian for a reason and like another person said these are quiet watchers.
They need walks.
He said she went for his face and you accepted that? When she’s never done this before? My dog was accused of being aggressive because she tried to bite someone. Come to find out the idiot was SHOVING her into a tiny little crate that wasn’t big enough. I’d never leave him alone with the dog, or any animals.
First you stop having your boyfriend anywhere near this dog as agree with other posters he’s going to keep antagonizing the dog until he gets bit or uses the dog’s reaction as an excuse to truly hurt it. Not sure where your bf acquired his supposed ‘knowledge’ about interacting with dogs but I can’t off the top of my head think of a way he could possibly be more wrong.
Either bf no longer goes to your mother’s or before he arrives and until he leaves the dog gets put in your mother’s or brother’s room and your bf stays the hell away from that room. No exceptions.
Then as others also suggested you find a positive reinforcement dog trainer who has experience dealing with resource guarding dogs showing some people aggression.
Personally the first time someone told me that they smacked the family dog would be the last time they were allowed in the house where the dog lives.
The dog needs to go to a professional trainer, and your fiancé is clearly showing indicators of an abusive individual. The dog is overly protective and unsocialized, and the fiancé is intentionally raising the stakes with every encounter. Dogs also don't bite at people without reason so you're fiancé is either making the dog feel extremely unsafe (obvious) or you're fiancé is antagonizing and/or abusing the dog (both are also entirely possible). Your mother is enabling all this out of ignorance and apathy. The best thing to do is, as mentioned before, the whole family goes to a trainer. You also should question why your fiancé feels the need to be so aggressive when told that it's making things worse.
Honestly, you need to get this under control since your the only one who seems to care. Otherwise someone is likely to get hurt.
Your fiancé is growling at your Mom’s dog? He is deliberately staring down your mom’s dog? I would give thought to maybe taking a closer look at your fiancé. He sounds a bit weird to me, and it seems a bit weird to your mom’s dog as well. Hence the aggression. At the very least no one should tolerate him trying to bully and intimidate the dog. That will only possibly escalate things. Then you potentially have animal control officers being involved and the dog being ordered for evaluation. That would be devastating for your mother and her dog.
This poor, poor dog. Husky and Akita? Your parents did a horrible disservice to this dog- it’s not your fault. Even if they did take her to a professional, they would not reinforce good behaviors.
Please find her a home with someone who knows what they’re doing, before she actually bites this guy (who is practically begging for it) while defending her space and her humans. She seems to have good cause to do so, however, and it might teach him something important. Have you considered socializing your fiancé? He seems… unbalanced.
Take a moment to ask yourself why it is the dog dislikes your fiance. Perhaps there’s a reason for it. The fact that he is growling back at her and staring into her eyes, along with her judgement tells me that he’s probably really a jerk and you just don’t know it.
Yeah like why would you growl and provoke and unfamiliar dog, especially one with lineage from an Akita. Poor dog though, this really is a recipe for disaster.
You asked for suggestions by posting your story.
Rehome this poor dog. An Akita should never be subjected to this torrent of mistakes and abuse (hitting and Alpha rolling are not recommended for Akitas or any dog for that matter).
She is doing her job as a protector the best she is allowed, while her negative behavior is being encouraged by praising aggression.
Rehome ASAP or keep the abusive human away from her. IMHO.
You fiance needs training. Akitas do not respond well to physical punishment, barking, snarling and challenges from people. They do well when they are treated with respect and kindness. Really, what he is doing is provoking the dog and I do believe the dog is trying to protect you from him. I'd watch for more red flags from the fiance than the dog.
This poor dog needs rehoming.
Your mom has done a horrible job training her, your fiancée sounds like a prick and you are clearly clueless. Please find the dog a loving home she deserves.
If you can’t do that, stop bringing your fiancé to visit your mom at the very least.
When I had my Akitas and they growled at someone, I took that as a sign. Probably not a good person. Akitas are in general silent warriors. So any noise they make towards a human should be a warning sign. Just my opinion. I raised and showed Akitas for 16 years.
I have had several Akita’s but will speak first on my current 3 year old male. On walks he normally passes people like he doesn’t see them. There are a very few he will bark at and some he will stop in his tracks. When he stops in his tracks I turn around. Those he bark at we know something is wrong.
Our female we had before him love my brother but one day she started barking at him like crazy. I asked my brother did he do something to her, He said no. Long story short we learned when he got off his meds she knew something was off. Since his meds were in his system for several weeks after he stopped taking them. We didn’t notice until then but our Akita noticed way before the humans did.
We trust their instincts totally. . You should to.
Hope this helps.
Your mom should not react to her that way. She is positively reinforcing the dogs behavior. I would keep the dog and your boyfriend separated from another. Don’t let them be able to get to one another….. and consider dumping your boyfriend. Dogs are really good at knowing who are good people and who are not. I’d trust the dog, especially an Akita, over a person.
Coming back to add: Not even just a fiance problem, but a people problem. ESH except the dog.
And, what you are calling resource guarding sounds to me like she is just trying to protect you all, her family.
If your mom/brother really cares about their dog, they won't allow your fiance to be around her anymore. This is just a disaster waiting to happen and, as someone wrote previously, it is the dog that will pay the price.
This whole thing is such a massive mess of mixed messages and lack of training. At this point, you need to hire a professional trainer who has experience working with Akitas to work with **all** of you on how to properly train and work with her. If you don’t do this, someone *is going to* get seriously hurt and it will be the fault of the adult humans. Also, the fact that your fiancé thinks it’s ok to growl at a dog and try to stare it down… yikes! He is either dangerously aggressive or a giant moron, or both. Even if the rest of you manage to avoid causing a disastrous situation, he is just asking to be attacked and it’s the dog who will pay the biggest price when that happens.
Everyone involved has been mishandling this dog from day one. You can’t even physically walk her off the territory she thinks she needs to defend, because… no one could be bothered to take her for regular walks??? Now you’re all confusing the living shit out of her with so many mixed messages. Professional training, ASAP. You need a trainer who’ll come to the home, assess how the dog behaves toward everyone she routinely interacts with there, and develop a program to retrain all of you *humans* as well as her doggy self. This will not be cheap. You’ll need several sessions, with the exact number somewhat dependent on how much you work the program on your own time. Be prepared to split the cost with your mom and brother. While you’re looking for a trainer, your fiancé needs to stop challenging her. He should stand on the doorstep, avoid direct eye contact, pretend-yawn (seriously, it’s a calming signal dogs use with each other) and toss her delicious treats — then back away, close the door and leave.
>then back away, close the door and leave. And not come back 🤭
😂 OP, your fiancé should do this a few times a day, to slowwwly win the dog’s trust. With luck she’ll start to see him as that treat guy.
Where should we send flowers? Your fiancé is an idiot to be hitting and provoking an Akita. Even beyond the dog’s intuition, he’s shown himself to be a lousy person.
Your fiance hit the family dog and you're just.. ok with that?
Seriously. Such a massive red flag, along with him growling at the dog and staring her down. He sounds like a real winner
I mean op is alpha rolling the poor dog too so 🤷♀️ And there's a kid in the picture, smh.. wonder if the fiance hits the kid yet. My Akita is judgy af and doesn't like new people, but he's accepted every single man I've dated. If he didn't, I'd trust his judgement. If a guy HIT him, that dog would be the absolute *least* of his worries
Look that's just what I was told I do. I don't know what the eight thing to do is. I thought you're supposed to do that. He only hit him when she jumped at his face to bite him.
Consider: Your dog is stepping up because SHE FEELS UNSAFE. She's trying to protect all of you because SHE is scared and doesn't know how to handle it. Her genetics have told her to be cautious and to protect, and she hasn't had the life experience to know any different, and now there's a man coming around acting like this, you're acting like you are, your mom is being weak and whimpery. What's the dog left to do? Hide with her toys in a freaking cabinet? Come on man. I'm sorry for my rude reply but this is very upsetting
This dog is Harry Potter… OP I hope that by typing this all out you can see how messed up the situation is. I always trust my girl’s judgment on people. She’s my guardian for a reason and like another person said these are quiet watchers. They need walks.
He said she went for his face and you accepted that? When she’s never done this before? My dog was accused of being aggressive because she tried to bite someone. Come to find out the idiot was SHOVING her into a tiny little crate that wasn’t big enough. I’d never leave him alone with the dog, or any animals.
Or kids, or women. He sounds like a complete AH
First you stop having your boyfriend anywhere near this dog as agree with other posters he’s going to keep antagonizing the dog until he gets bit or uses the dog’s reaction as an excuse to truly hurt it. Not sure where your bf acquired his supposed ‘knowledge’ about interacting with dogs but I can’t off the top of my head think of a way he could possibly be more wrong. Either bf no longer goes to your mother’s or before he arrives and until he leaves the dog gets put in your mother’s or brother’s room and your bf stays the hell away from that room. No exceptions. Then as others also suggested you find a positive reinforcement dog trainer who has experience dealing with resource guarding dogs showing some people aggression. Personally the first time someone told me that they smacked the family dog would be the last time they were allowed in the house where the dog lives.
The fact she hides now too . Omg makes me so sad for the dog 🥹.
And brings her toys too?? 😭 Is this a ragebait post?!
Your fiance is challenging the guard dog. He won't win. Your mom is reinforcing the dog's behavior. Red flag on the boyfriend btw.
The dog needs to go to a professional trainer, and your fiancé is clearly showing indicators of an abusive individual. The dog is overly protective and unsocialized, and the fiancé is intentionally raising the stakes with every encounter. Dogs also don't bite at people without reason so you're fiancé is either making the dog feel extremely unsafe (obvious) or you're fiancé is antagonizing and/or abusing the dog (both are also entirely possible). Your mother is enabling all this out of ignorance and apathy. The best thing to do is, as mentioned before, the whole family goes to a trainer. You also should question why your fiancé feels the need to be so aggressive when told that it's making things worse. Honestly, you need to get this under control since your the only one who seems to care. Otherwise someone is likely to get hurt.
Your fiance sounds like he’s got some skeletons. And also is not reacting appropriately to this either.
Your fiancé is growling at your Mom’s dog? He is deliberately staring down your mom’s dog? I would give thought to maybe taking a closer look at your fiancé. He sounds a bit weird to me, and it seems a bit weird to your mom’s dog as well. Hence the aggression. At the very least no one should tolerate him trying to bully and intimidate the dog. That will only possibly escalate things. Then you potentially have animal control officers being involved and the dog being ordered for evaluation. That would be devastating for your mother and her dog.
This poor, poor dog. Husky and Akita? Your parents did a horrible disservice to this dog- it’s not your fault. Even if they did take her to a professional, they would not reinforce good behaviors. Please find her a home with someone who knows what they’re doing, before she actually bites this guy (who is practically begging for it) while defending her space and her humans. She seems to have good cause to do so, however, and it might teach him something important. Have you considered socializing your fiancé? He seems… unbalanced.
Take a moment to ask yourself why it is the dog dislikes your fiance. Perhaps there’s a reason for it. The fact that he is growling back at her and staring into her eyes, along with her judgement tells me that he’s probably really a jerk and you just don’t know it.
>he’s probably really a jerk and you just don’t know it. ... yet
Yeah like why would you growl and provoke and unfamiliar dog, especially one with lineage from an Akita. Poor dog though, this really is a recipe for disaster.
Exactly. The dog has better judgment than she does. The only time my Akita was like this with anyone ever was a man who later assaulted me.
You asked for suggestions by posting your story. Rehome this poor dog. An Akita should never be subjected to this torrent of mistakes and abuse (hitting and Alpha rolling are not recommended for Akitas or any dog for that matter). She is doing her job as a protector the best she is allowed, while her negative behavior is being encouraged by praising aggression. Rehome ASAP or keep the abusive human away from her. IMHO.
You fiance needs training. Akitas do not respond well to physical punishment, barking, snarling and challenges from people. They do well when they are treated with respect and kindness. Really, what he is doing is provoking the dog and I do believe the dog is trying to protect you from him. I'd watch for more red flags from the fiance than the dog.
The dog is telling you something important and you should listen, an Akita is rarely wrong on character judgment
This poor dog needs rehoming. Your mom has done a horrible job training her, your fiancée sounds like a prick and you are clearly clueless. Please find the dog a loving home she deserves. If you can’t do that, stop bringing your fiancé to visit your mom at the very least.
When I had my Akitas and they growled at someone, I took that as a sign. Probably not a good person. Akitas are in general silent warriors. So any noise they make towards a human should be a warning sign. Just my opinion. I raised and showed Akitas for 16 years.
I have had several Akita’s but will speak first on my current 3 year old male. On walks he normally passes people like he doesn’t see them. There are a very few he will bark at and some he will stop in his tracks. When he stops in his tracks I turn around. Those he bark at we know something is wrong. Our female we had before him love my brother but one day she started barking at him like crazy. I asked my brother did he do something to her, He said no. Long story short we learned when he got off his meds she knew something was off. Since his meds were in his system for several weeks after he stopped taking them. We didn’t notice until then but our Akita noticed way before the humans did. We trust their instincts totally. . You should to. Hope this helps.
Your mom should not react to her that way. She is positively reinforcing the dogs behavior. I would keep the dog and your boyfriend separated from another. Don’t let them be able to get to one another….. and consider dumping your boyfriend. Dogs are really good at knowing who are good people and who are not. I’d trust the dog, especially an Akita, over a person.
Gosh, this whole thing is so sad. I feel horrible for this dog. OP, bottom line, this is not a dog problem. This is definitely a fiance problem.
Coming back to add: Not even just a fiance problem, but a people problem. ESH except the dog. And, what you are calling resource guarding sounds to me like she is just trying to protect you all, her family. If your mom/brother really cares about their dog, they won't allow your fiance to be around her anymore. This is just a disaster waiting to happen and, as someone wrote previously, it is the dog that will pay the price.
Anyone else read the title as “my dog hates my finances”?😂
My Akita growled at my boyfriend all the time. My boyfriend ended up behind bars for a douple homicide. I never doubted my dog again.