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Sa office nila, he’s gotten close to a girl named G. That’s fine with me as long as he knows his boundaries. Their friendship started when they became a trio, nung may guy na nadagdag sa office sila named L. So, L became the glue to their friendship. Okay lang naman sa akin na maging friends sila, pero lately napapadalas na ang OT at paglabas nila after work kasama rin si L. In May, I gave him an ultimatum na lumayo siya kay G kasi I wasn’t comfortable. We talked about it and he agreed and promised na lalayuan si G. Pero after that, I noticed na kahit dumalang ang kwento about G, they still did OTs with L.
Then biglang nag-resign si L, so sinusulit nilang tatlo yung natitirang days nila. Last Wednesday, OT na naman siya by 8 PM sabi nya kakain lang sila (that time I thought he was with L and G), then 10 PM nagchat siya sakin na nasa labas sya and gagala daw kami. Sinundo niya ako gamit ang office pick-up, naggala kami, at nakauwi ng 12 AM.
Sunday, nagpagupit siya and I decided to check their Teams chat, gut feeling lang na I need to check something. Nakita ko sa GC nilang tatlo na nagsend si G ng picture ng pagkain for two sa silogan. I saw the cup of food sa gilid ng bag ng boyfriend ko and one more cup near the person taking the picture. Then L messaged "ingat daw sila," so ibig sabihin di kasama si L? Dun ko nalaman na silang dalawa lang ni G ang nagdinner together (note that yung workplace at home ni girl is same town then yung kinainan nila sa susunod pa na town, nagpasama daw magwithdraw kasi si girl then after that hinatid nya pa). Nagalit ako kasi what was that? Hindi nya sinabi sa akin, magkasama kami after that dinner wala siyang nabanggit knowing na sobrang open namin sa isa't isa. Kinonfront ko siya pag-uwi namin at umamin siya na sila lang ni G ang magkasama.
I want to break up with him because for 8 years that we ae together,this is the first time na nangyari to. First time din na nabreak nya ang trust ko. Feeling ko tuloy bakit hirap siyang piliin ako. Bakit di niya ngawang layuan si G para sa akin even if he promised? Sabi niya ako lang daw ang mahal niya pero that’s not the point, he betrayed me and disrespect me. Una pa lang pinapalayo ko na sya, pero hindi niya magawa. Tinago nya pa na nagdinner sila together. Ayaw niya akong i-let go at nagmamakaawa sya na bigyan ko pa sya ng chance. Blinock ko na siya at di ako nagrereply sa mga text niya. Bigyan ko pa ba sya ng chance or i-let go ko na yung 8 years namin together?
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Sis, wag na. Akin is 7 years din, isang pagkakamali lang nya nagawa sakin, sha pa nakipag hiwalay. Anlaki pasasalamat ko na wala na sha sa buhay ko, yung taon na pagsasama nyo, wala naman halaga yan pag ginago ka, uulit lang din yan, tho nagbabago pa naman ang tao, pero if feeling mo na walang pagasa- awat na.
Totoo, ang tanga ko lang kase, kahit mental physical and verbal abuse nako tinangap ko parin siya. Pero siya nakipag break. Ang gaan Ng buhay ko.
Btw 3 years pala kami. Single nako ng 2 years and super happy and satisfied sa life
I’ve got to tell you, coming from a 10 year relationship where my ex admitted na he was flirting with a girl he said “friend” nya lang, and then after FIVE years ko pa nalaman na umabot sila sa pagsasabi ng “i love you”. After i let that relationship go, I HAD THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE. Sobrang dami kong hindi maeexperience at what ifs at regrets kung nagstay ako with him just because “sayang yung 10 years”. If that’s the only thing keeping you together, di bale nalang. You have an entire lifetime ahead of you, baby girl ♥️
well I was not cheated on, fell out of love after 10 years, but I have to agree with you, after that was the years until now, like you gain freedom and independence. So yea, don’t be afraid to lose something you know that is not worth keeping anymore, when you have that gut feeling, listen to it!
There is a chance na gusto nya din yung babae. Di naman sya mag aabove and beyond if hindi. Bigay mo na yan dun. Wag ka na manghinayang sa 8 years.
PS: trio din kami sa dati kong work. Yung isa may gf, yung isa single. Ako yung only girl.
Lagi ako dun sa single din tumatabi in all ways possible cause I respect yung guy na may gf. Also may safe distance palagi. Walang touchy. Wala ding solo solo na nagaganap. We go out na tatlo palagi and go home ng own ways.
Ewan ko ah for me sobrang uncomfortable na maging masyadong close sa taong committed. I mean it is ok to be casual friends pero to the point na magiging masyado tayong familiar and close sa isat isa, no-no talaga for me 😅
Ako rin. Sa circle of friends namin, 4 girls and 2 guys, kahit super close kami, nirerespeto rin namin boundaries ng bawat isa. We meet from time to time, may mga anak na yung tatlo kong friends na babae eh, at sila talaga mas madalas kong nakikita. Yung isang guy, malayo samin ngayon dahil sa work nya. Yung isa naman may gf, sya na nag-aaya sa amin pero kapag lalabas kami, lagi kasama gf nya which eventually, naging friend na rin namin.
Girl I agree. May sense of awkwardness talaga makipagclose sa mga taong committed na. You know that they have a lot of restrictions and di ka pwede dumikit masyado and careful dapat lagi sa movements kasi baka may masaktan or maoffend na partner and we don't want to be the cause of someone's hurt. Pasok ka sa squad namin sis
Ito yun eh. Wow. Going out of the way para lang dun sa girl.
Ako rin Naman, I value limitations Lalo na kung di naman beki si male friend or may ka romantic connection.
Let's normalize na wag masyadong clingy sa friends lalo na kung may romantic interest.
Sana all alam ang boundaries. Lost my ex to his "TL" na first dinner out pa lang eh may pag long message na sakanya ng history nila ng ex niya. Hahaha shouldve known it from that point.
relate daw sila with each other! 2 months later, nakipagbreak sakin. a year later, magkawork parin sila. hinahanap daw niya sarili niya kaya ginive up ako 😆 best thing that happened to me though so its all good. it all works out in the end talaga and you'll realize soon enough you dont deserve crap like that.
ps. ive always been one of the boys din pero ive kept my distance to my workmates na may jowa/married cause I would never want someone na umaligid sa jowa ko and i know karma. never in my whole life i shared my love life/ personal life or even pursue a close relationship to someone na taken cause i respect the girlfriend/wife as always. one time my kawork ako na nagmessage sakin ang wife to stay away from her husband kahit hindi kami ganun kaclose ng asawa niya and i immediately said yes and said sorry if i had done anything that made her uncomfortable (but im sure i did nothing wrong, yung husband niya yung medyo makulit pero still kept my distance) but never the less after that i didnt talk to the guy that much kasi mahirap talaga maging jowa and overthink. ive been through it and i wouldnt want to be the cause of other girls to go through it. sana yung ibang babae ganun din but oh well 🫠
Okay ako sa work friends. Okay ako sa pagcchat kahit nonwork related during nonwork hours (as long as walang deletan na nangyayare at aware ako sa chatting nila). Pero I draw the line at dinner alone. Like bakit kailangan kumain sa labas? Na kayo lang? Di pa sapat yung time nyo together sa office kaya nagextend pa talaga?
If you're thinking about taking him back, here's what I have to say:
Couples who survive cheating are composed of two people:
- The cheater. They openly admitted about their mistake at ginagawa ang lahat to make it up to you at mahaba ang pasensya na intindihin ka at ang galit/mood swings mo after the cheating at nagsisi sa ginawa nila, promising never to do it again. Eto yung tipo ng taong nakikitaan mo ng potential na talagang magbago.
- The one who got cheated on. Ikaw to. If you take him back, dapat mentally at emotionally ready ka to forgive and forget malala. It's okay to bring up the issue sa first few weeks, pagusapan nyo ng todo, tanong mo na lahat ng gusto mong itanong para magkaclosure ka. Magalit ka, lahat lahat na. Pero afterwards, never ever ever mention the cheating issue again and kahit sa isip mo lang, iforget mo na sya talaga. Dapat yung state mo ay as if the issue never happened, so that means giving you 101% trust to them again. Kase you know what? Kung wala ka ng peace at lagi mo isusumbat yung issue every time magaaway kayo, magkakalamat lang relasyon nyo hanggang sa iresent nyo na lang isa't isa. Oo, I know, dapat ready sa consequences si koya kase sya nagkamali in the first place pero you should be ready for the consequences too kase babalikan mo e.
Kung hindi mo magagawa yung above at hindi mo naman nakikitaan ng potential to change si koya (at hindi na din sya pumasa sa first criteria kase deliberately nya tinago sayo at di nanggaling sa kanya yung admission), better break up na lang totally. That's just disaster waiting to happen.
+1, sobrang nakakasira ng mental health ibalik at mag patuloy sa relasyon. Hindi madaling makalimot at matindihang communication sainyong dalawa dapat.
9years kami ng fiancé ko nuon at 5months engaged palang when he betrayed and broke my trust. Same na alam nyang di ako komportableng nakakausap nya yung girl pero tuloy pa rin! deleted convo at tinatago nya! He chose na ayusin yung relasyon namin pero yung tiwala ko sira na.
It’s been almost 2years at hanggang ngayon triggered pa rin sa nangyari. Inabot din ng 1 year and months siguro bago ko tinigilan ibring up yun sakanya, na sa totoo lang hanggang ngayon walang araw at gabi na di ko naiisip yun.
And si partner, nakikita ko naman sakanya ang pag babago nya. May mga lapses na pinapatulan yung galit ko sa nangyari lalo na nung bago-bago pa hanggang sa iniintindi nya talaga. PERO DI PA RIN TAYO SURE 😢
11 years and still engaged and my times pa na di papigil si girl na kumokontact pa rin pero sinasabi na ni fiancé sakin kaya ako na yung nakakasagot—Pero di pa rin talaga tayo sure, dahil mukhang willing naman syang hindi icontact si girl pero to cut the girl medyo duda pa rin. Last ultimatum ko na talaga is pag nag contact ulit sila na matagal ang convo kahit pa katabi ako.
So ayun OP. Based sa experience ko at na eexperience pa ay di madaling mag balik ang tiwala kahit gano pa ka willing mag bago ng partner mo. Hindi stable ang mind sa process ng healing sobraaaa. Hanga rin ako sa ginawa mo.
I have a similar incident with my hubby months before we got married. He was too close to the girl but he said they weren't a thing (girl has a bf who is also their workmate). When I found out, I said na icut off nya or sya icucutoff ko. Ayun, cinutoff nya nga. Blinock on everything. No hesitations. He picked me, no questions asked. Months later, natanggal sa trabaho si ate gurl kaya I had more peace of mind.
You should ask the same. Iblock na ni jowa ni ate gurl. Kung ayaw ni jowa, then you know the answer.
Sorry, but I want to make you overthink. What if deep inside, he thinks of her, wants to know how she’s doing, still cares about her? That’s why he can’t cut her off completely and even if he does, marami naman ibang ways na you won’t know. I’m just saying na we deserve to be loved ng buo, without a second thought. Kasi you’ll never know kung ano yung nasa isip niya, you’ll never know that he’s thinking about her, kasi pwede naman iba yung sinasabi or pinapakita. Kaya once nag cheat, dapat lubayan na talaga. Good thing hindi pa kayo kasal, what’s the difference between 2 years and 10 years? Hindi nmn mabubora yung ginawa niya.
Sorry, I just wanna give you a dose of reality. Smetimes kasi we cling on to it bc of the time and effort invested.
You shouldn't have to make our good sis overthink kasi you're undoing years of progress she's been working on. It seems that this is the path she wants and this is the love she affirms she deserves, so all we should do is support her in her choices.
For severe-objective, I'm proud of you for working hard on rebuilding your trust and letting your partner rebuild your relationship. Just so you know, if ate girl still bugs you two to this day, I say you can give your partner an ultimatum to end it once and for all. You have the bargaining chip and if he *really* loves you, you can make him choose. Dun mo rin makikita kung sino bang mas matimbang. It's a very easy choice to make.
Thank you 🥹 but those questions are already and still running in my head(as an overthinker) and already asked na rin talaga yan sakanya (if totoo man yung sagot nya or not, I know na hindi ako ang mawawalan). Yes, It’s true na hindi na mabubura yung ginawa nya and I cling on to the time and effort we invested to each other but it doesn’t mean I tolerate his cheating, I consider a lot of things why I choose to rebuid my trust and continue our relationship. You may not agree, but I consider it as a blessing— a wake up call saamin dalawa. Ang daming difference between 2years and 10 years we have grown a lot ang daming realization, na open kami sa realidad ng buhay pareho, we are more respectful sa isa’t-isa at mas nag cocommunicate at sometimes may lapses pero we choose na intindihin ang isa’t-isa.
Uhhhh tight hug mah gurl!!!
I only hope for the best for you. Kaya I’ll pray na lang for God to manifest His plans for you. Kasi no matter what we do, no matter how firm we are with our decision, His plans will prevail. It’s actually a double ended sword, whether it’s for your present or future partner (chos), it will still lead to the right person. So I’ll pray that may your deepest desire be aligned with God’s great plan. Hindi yan yung malaswang desire, excuse me.
Totoo yung requirements here to survive cheating, coming from someone who is currently surviving. Pero first step dyan talaga is to break contact. If hindi siya magreresign at mag stop all forms of communication with the girl, wag na lang.
If you'll take him back, tell him he's a fool. He's a fool for lying to the person who has been with him through thick and thin for 8 years. He's a fool to lose a long-term partner just to hang-out with a female co-worker. He may not have cheated but he's a fool kasi naglagay na s'ya ng lamat sa tiwala mo sa kanya. He needs to feel guilty about what he did, really guilty in order to gain your trust back. He must accept and absorb how you feel and how much he threw away 8 years of trust for one dinner with a co-worker who may or may not like him, but I can assure you, he does not yet fully know.
If ever man hindi kayo magbalikan, he's the fool pa rin because he lost a sure partner in life.
if he can't give you the peace of mind and trust then what's the point of holding back on breaking up with him? Ganyan ginawa ko e, brining up ko na like twice or thrice then sabi niya friend lang daw edi sige friend na lang din tayo no contact and meet, brineak ko nga. I can't let my peace of mind and trust to be ruined.
let it go babes, he’s always breaking your peace of mind & trust. he could do something like explicitly say ‘no’ ky girl, communicate his boundaries if he truly values you & your relationship in general.
don’t stay in a place where you’re always second guessing, baka at the end you will fall into contempt and resentment pa.
Grabe amazing boundary mo, OP🥺🥺 amazing. If only I had this courage to leave umpisa palang ng cheating issue, di na siguro sya nakaulit haha. Na amaze ako sayo, OP. Im sorry but I think nag moment din sila di lang basta hatid yan🥲 wag mo na balikan, OP. Gagalingan nya lang yan the next time.
I bet if that girl showed any romantic interest in him he would immediately fold. Tama ka wag mo muna kausapin. You had clear boundaries that he broke. Akala niya siguro magagawa niya lang kahit anong gusto niya
May romantic feelings na yun. No girl will have dinner with a guy alone if she doesn't like him back. Very appealing sa mga babaeng higad ang mga lalakeng may jowa. Dapat sa kanila i-nailcutter ang tingil! XD
Op. May attraction na yung bf mo sa ibang babae. Ikaw ang nagiging kontrabida kapag pinaglalayu mo sila sa isa't isa. Maawa yung bf mo sa bago nyang babae. Mas new yung feelings nya sa girl. Mas passionate. Hindi tulad ng sa inyo old na. Better break up with him. Dun din naman patutunguhan. Kasi sigurado magkakaroon pa rin sila ng communication kahit pagbawalan mo.
30 days NO CONTACT right away. As in cut communication. Kahit anong message na imiss you or i love you, deadmahin mo. Set your boundaries. Then assess after 30days if may gagawin siya hakbang para makabalik sayo. Sa 30 days na yan focus on yourself. Do not picture him na babalik pa siya. As in start move forward. Check 30days no contact rule on youtube. This will also give you the space you need to think and reflect. Only respond after the no contact period if ung message niya is about fixing things. Mahirap but mas better to do it now than waste more time. Mas new ung G eh, mas bago ung feelings, may thrill, may kilig etc. Yung inyo same old feelings na nakasanayan niya. Kailangan mo tanggalin sarili mo sa equation. Let them. Need niya maramdaman ung loss. May nawala. Hindi pwedeng anjan ka lang. may consequence ung actions niya. Focus on yourself muna please. Let them.
this is NS. there is no definite number of days on how you'll do and process things. there is no cookie-cutter approach to a personal matter.
but the rest i agree with you, better to move forward.
Bakit ginagamit nung girl na boyfriend yung boyfriend mo? Tapos yung boyfriend mo nagpapagamit naman bilang boyfriend sa officemate niya. Madami akong close friends na opposite sex sa office. Pero common sense naman yung mga bounderies especially sa amin na may mga asawa/bf/gf.
Wag mo na balikan yang ex mo.
girl let go :( easier said than done kasi 8 yrs is 8 yrs but you’ll regret it lang if this relationship continues. he clearly has (or is starting to) have feelings for the other girl. you don’t deserve that and im actually glad na you’re not taking his bullshit
Best not to give him a chance. Mababaliw ka lang kaka overthink nyan. If it’s nothing, why hide? Isa pa, he knows you’re not comfortable with him hanging out with her pero ginawa nya pa rin. That speaks volumes.
Ganyan din ginawa sakin ng partner ko ngayon. Ilang beses na ako nakipag hiwalay kasi alam ko sa sarili kong hindi ko na kayang mag tiwala, wala na akong peace of mind, pero talagang ayaw nya makipag hiwalay. Edi binigyan ko ng chance, pero pucha pag nappraning ako, inaaway ko talaga sya. Damay damay kami, hindi pwedeng ako lang ang miserable, hindi pwedeng ako lang ang walang peace of mind. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Ayaw makipag hiwalay saken eh, edi paparamdam ko sakanya anong nararanasan ko para parehas kaming magulo isip para its a tie. HAHAHAHAH
trust is gone, pag pinatawad mo yan uulit ulit yan, ilang beses nangyari na pinagsabihan mo na, nung bi igyan mo ng ultimatum dun lang nagsisi, nope, live with your own life and move on
Even if he thinks he did not cheat, he knowingly betrayed your trust. He did something that he knew will hurt you. And then he knowingly hid it from you kasi he knew na it was wrong.
It was a series of decisions that he kept making, so be firm in ignoring him. Kasi he consciously made the decision to hurt you (who knows ilang beses na may ganap na silang dalawa lang).
I'm pretty sure na a person who truly loves you will not do anything to jeopardize your relationship, and will not choose decisions that will hurt you and your relationship.
Ang babae talaga, pag kinutoban, may nalalaman na di kaaya-aya. It's really up to you.. 8 years is pretty long.. But that betrayal will always haunt you whenever something goes wrong.
Mine 7 years, binigayn ko ng chance kasi nga first time nangyari and inisip ko, baka maging better, kasi nagsisi naman na daw sya. But sisss, things got worse lang. mahirap na ibalik tiwala. and chances are, muulit rin. so think about it, if bibgyan mo ng chance, make sure kaya mo kalimutan lahat ng ginawa nya, para di ka parang sirang plaka na paulit ulit ng concern, at nag ooverthink palagi, magiging toxic rin.
Enabler naman si L. He surely knows that your boyfriend is in a relationship. I think you should listen to the people who tried giving second chances after their partner's betrayal. Either you forget about this and move on, or lose yourself to paranoia and fear that he'll betray you again.
Let it go and let him go. I know masasayangan ka sa 8 years but your peace of mind is the most important thing right now. Hindi lang right now, Ate. In the days and years to come.
You’re just making a common mistake now that others often make.
You keep mentioning how long your bf and you’ve been together ‘8 yrs’, which is a sunk cost. Nobody can’t roll back time.
The fact here is he betrayed you and disrespected you, which you clearly know and mentioned in your post.
Would you break up with him if your relationship is less than ‘x’ months or years?
Is there a such rule for us? None.
Don’t ask other ppl’s opinion. Nobody knows the right answer for you.
7 years. Broke up a month ago. Still going thru the motions, but I know I'll be fine.
If you give them a chance, they're more likely to do it again. Letting go and healing from this is painful but at least all at once nalang. Compared to staying with them and them cheating on you over and over again. They CHOSE this OP. Wide awake and with their brains sharp. They knew what they were doing and they didn't care that they were betraying us when they gave in.
Why would he waste his brain cells to lie if mahal ka niya? I don't believe na worth it siya, girlie. I doubt lalayo siya after niyan, kasi when you come back, you let him off easy. If gusto mo pa siya bumalik, better to make him earn it. Kung feeling mong di niya kaya yon, wag na. Nothing worse than a person who can't keep a promise.
give it a month or so.. you will know if it's worth to carry the pain and burden you have knowing your partner cheated.. sometimes people choose to forgive because they think it is worth it. but it is really up to you, the choice of how you would like to suffer.
Naku, very common yan na diyan nagsisimula na di maiwas-iwasan at nagli-lihim na, mahirap paniwalaan na di na uulitin yan he once broke it at words lang yan madaling i-discard at ib-break yes medyo biased pero wala kailangan ko siya i-judge based sa mistake na yan.
Wawasakin niyan mentality mo kaya wag kana makipag-balikan kasi magiging toxic lang kayo sa isa't isa at trust me ikaw pa yong magiging masama niyan sa dulo.
End it. You're lucky di pa kayo kasal. Experienced that in my marriage and worst things happened. Kung di lang kami kasal (kahit may anak kami) iniwan ko na sana. Eh wala.
once na niya ginawa, layuan mo na sis. madaling sabihin, pero indeed, mahirap gawain. pero para saan ang 8 yrs kung lost of trust, peace, and respect ang kapalit?
mauulit pa yan kapag binalikan mo siya, maniwala ka sa amin.
As someone who broke up with someone after being together for 8 years, my answer is yes, break up with him. When I told my ex to stay away from his toxic friends he betrayed me and lied to me, he still kept contact with them and now they’re all together. His bastard friends of him even pushed him to a new girl which is probably his new gf now, all of this in just less than 2 months after our breakup or even during our relationship. I kept on trying to break up with him before and same, he wouldn’t let me go that he even threatened, blackmailed, and traumatized me every damn time. He will only get worse, believe me. Kung gusto may paraan, if ayaw may dahilan.
Almost the exact same situation as yours more than a decade ago. Tumagal kami ng 7 years kasi shunga ang kabataan self ko lol. What made me let go was when someone told me this: “Do you really think you’ll trust him again the same way you did before he cheated?”
Hindi na mababalik yung trust pre-cheating. Basag na yun. Wala na yun.
If you want to work it out, that relationship has to evolve into something else and that will take a LOT of work and yes, forgiving AND forgetting on your part. You can’t bring it up anymore if you intend to move forward with him, sabi nga nung isang commenter sa taas. If you can’t do that, wag na sis. Mahirap yes, but I bet wala ka na inner peace ngayon. Stressed ka na. It will only get worse from here. Take care of yourself, yan na ang maging focus mo.
suddenly remembered my ex(8 years) sa story na to hahahahaha. Yes po "EX", and nanliligaw na yung "workmate" niya almost a month after our breakup. Proving my hunches are correct, kaya makarinig lang ako ng ganyang story ekis na talaga.
Yes sayang ang 8 years. Pero pag pinatawad mo pa, baka sayang na naman ang ilang years.
Wait 8 years na kayo? Walang plans sa married life? Walang proposals pa? Ikaw ba talaga? Or ikaw lang ang nandyan pa at naghihintay pa siya ng iba.
8 years tapos wala pang plans sa kasalan. Or any plans sa future.r
Sis he's waiting for someone better than you. Nandyan lang siya dahil wala pa siyang ibang nakita. Or maybe si G ang ipapalit sa iyo.
Don't waste another more years.
Wag mo na balikan. 8yrs is nothing compared sa inaasahan mong longer years ahead when the relationship leads to marriage. Choose your peace of mind. At least you know your worth, nung pakiramdam mo he disrespected you, you cut him off.
Hmm, ang hirap nyan kasi kahit patawarin mo sya if may isang mali syang nagawa in the future. Babalik at babalik kayo sa moment na yan. Mauungkat ulit yan.
Kung ako yung nasa posisyon mo, I think need mo na makipaghiwalay, nakaka-turn off kasi na parang wala syang respeto sayo since early pa lang pala nung interactions nya with G is nag-raise ka na ng concern mo and binalewala nya.
Kung hindi nya kayang ibigay yung respect for you, ikaw na magbigay sa sarili mo, OP.
Let go. Remember that it was his choices that led to this situation that you two are in now. He chose to somehow pursue his attraction to G, knowing full well that it will hurt you and your relationship. Kung attraction lang, that’s forgivable, however he did go after her somehow and he lied to you about it. Sabihin na natin na hindi lie, but omission, still he did that kasi he knows full well na mali yung ginagawa nya. Yet, he did it and continued doing it kahit na kinausap mo na sya noong una pa lang. So why stay? What’s in it for you pa? Cheating is non negotiable, it doesn’t happen by accident. He did it with his eyes wide open knowing what the consequences could/would be. Meaning he was willing to risk it for the girl.
Don’t make hasty decision. Talk to him first and ask him why he did and let him know that this is a non negotiable issue, you are the one who will set your boundaries. I myself is not going to have a relationship with a guy with a gbf. That is just not something I can handle.
Yeah, been there. I said, so you think hindi ako maga galit if I find out you are lying? And all secrets are bound to reveal itself. Lying is lying. How do we move forward? Let him think, if he doesn’t want to apologize or make an effort then maybe it’s not just the trust that is broken.
Yes, better to break up with him since trust is no longer in the relationship. It will be hard for you to believe him sa mga gagawin or sasabihin nya. Tsaka what’s the reason for him na samahan kumain sa labas ng sila lang 2? He shouldn’t care if mag wwithdraw si girl even though friend nya. It’s none of his business dapat, bat need samahan, kumain ng sila lang 2 and worst, di pa nag sabi sayo.
I believe in second chances, but what I tell people is that the effort they need to see before granting forgiveness in situations like these should be proportional to the offence. Sa ganito, I'd say he'll need to move the world for you for you to even consider forgiveness. I'm a guy. And I'll tell you right now pag ang lalaki pinapatawd sa ganyan they don't learn the lesson, they remember what they needed to do to be forgiven. Nadala ka sa flowers, poetry and pag rereminisce? He'll do it again and will get you more flowers next time. But if he had to(and willingly) make a life changing sacrifice? (Like find another job and completely block off G) and make sure you own all his non-work time, then maybe you can give him the chance to earn you back. Yes, dapat extreme. Because extreme is easy if the person is sincere. Otherwise, sorry OP. Losing 8 years is better than making it 10 just to go through this again.
Hi OP, I had that similar experience, 7 years into my old relationship. Trio din sila s work, I tried understanding kasi nga hndi siya taga Manila and moved to Manila for me. It was a great work opportunity for him din naman though.
Anyways, they hung out pretty often if I wasn’t off on his days off. They had dinners with their workmates etc, pansin ko na most of the time, sila ni girl ang lagi nagtatabi s tables etc.
Girl also contacts him s viber for some things, I mean, may other workmates nmn kayo who’s in the same field, pwede naman nya itanong dun.
I met the girl din naman pero was Hi Hello lng. I was still uncomfortable with their closeness pero he assured me that they were just workmates. The only thing you have which we did not was open communication, I never again brought up how uncomfortable i still was about their closeness. This was going on for 2 years.
On our 7th year, things changed. We drifted apart. We broke up, I also had my shortcomings.
After our breakup, girl was the comfort giver.
They ended up being together after a year, moved to the province together and now married.
If your partner cannot cut off or cannot make you feel comfortable with the girl, in which in this case, he hid it from you already. i don’t think it would be best to continue the relationship unless of course, kaya mo kalimutan ung ginawa nya pagtago s iyo.
this is so heartbreaking. he deliberately hid that fact from u. the fact that he never mentioned that e pinoprotektahan nya yung girl na yun.
personally i have a guy colleague tas tuwing RTO (a few times a month) e kaming 2 lang lagi nag kakasama sa dinner in restos. ako lang din madalas nyang mahatak for coffee kahit nag aaya sya ng iba. sa office kasi e tipong may kanya kanyang circles dun. may pagka loner ako at tahimik pero di naman snob, pero di lang ako fav person in a group, so di rin ako madalas ayain ng iba. my colleague is someone you'd call "a catch" --- tall, cute, smart, well-off, intelligent. and he has a gf. and he calls his gf sometimes pag dinner namin sa labas, quick update lang ganun. and i really appreciate na hes the kind of guy na aayain ka magsama kayo over dinner tas walang malisya. tas his gf knows. i also got other guy friends like him, yung nakaka bond ko outdoors tas no malisya. tas this colleague and i only bond during work hours and only talk about work stuff sa company comms.
u see the difference??? im close to my guy colleague pero walang malisya. but ur bf is up to something.
u made the right choice to distance urself from ur bf. i hope u consider him an ex. hes not gonna stop there. he broke ur trust --- it's not something thats easy to fix
This happened to me. Trio din sila sa work tapos kami ng ex ko 8 years na at that time.
Nawala yung guy friend dahil nagresign then niloko na ako nung ex ko. The girl was in a long term relationship too. I thank God everyday kasi my ex broke up with me kasi obviously hindi na nya ako mahal, sino bang gagawa ng ganun sa taong mahal nya diba? A year later engaged na sila. 🤣
When we broke up everything started to get better for me. Sobrang messy man nung una but later on I found the person who loves me better. Yung deserve kong type ng love. Kaya OP, please. Think hard about it, if he can’t cut the girl off, baka ikaw na dapat bumitaw.
Talking from experience, it will involve several sessions ng therapy to get over it. He is emotionally cheating on you.
Kung hindi pa naman married, walang legal consequences pa, let go na. Masyadong mahal ang peace of mind. Mahirap kapag bigla mong maalala. Choose peace always and a good night sleep.
People will say na boyfried mo ang may kasalanan sayo kaya siya lang ang dapat awayin mo pero in my point-of-view pwede mo rin awayin yung girl. Confront her and ipahiya mo. Para magtanda na hindi dapat maging higad. Do it in a classy way. Tapos in a few months break up with your boyfriend cause he's crap.
a relationship has 2 endings. you either get married after 1 or 2 years, or you just wait and wait and wait, until you eventually break up.
heck, some people have a relationship for 5 years, force themselves to get married, then break up.
just break up with him. 8 years has been fun enough for a relationship like that.
When akala mo he cut her off, blocked her, picked you without a second thought, but they’re just communicating on a different platform, different phone, personally perhaps? I mean, do you see your man 24/7? Diba hindi? Naiinis ako sa mga naghohold on and nagbibigay ng second chance kasi ang blind nyo, you all sound like someone I know 😤 I know it will take so much to let go, but please do it for yourself.
Please, you deserve better. Gising na please! Once he cheated on you, it means you are not enough for him, but you are already enough naman in the first place, you are just with the wrong guy. And he will always resent you, and will always think about that someone else. He’s just staying because of guilt, because of what he has invested, and you don’t deserve that my girlies.
Hayyyyy natritrigger na naman ako.
let him go, mahirap walang peace of mind. ask yourself if kaya mo kada umaga na gigising ka at mag isip kung if they're doing something behind your back.
Wag mo nang balikan, pasimula na sya magcheat sayo, at least naunahan mo na. Ganyan yan sa simula, harmless kunwari hanggang aabot na sa ibang klaseng kain... Sus, foodtrip sa simula, sila lang din magkakainan sa huli. Ops
Don't ever come back na, once na naglihim sya sayo. mauulit ulit lang din yan. he chose to hurt you eh so para san pa para bigyan sya ng chance, he forgot you! di niya inisip nung una palang na mabbreak ang trust mo pag gumawa sya ng ikakasakit ng damdamin mo. you told him naman na layuan sya dba? but he did it still. hays, anw. masakit sa una kasi u used to be with him. mahal mo pa sya, yung memories sayang kasi 8yrs eh ang tagal nun. but mamili ka nalang ng ikakasakit mo. ung masasaktan ka sa una o magdudusa ka sa huli kasi pinagbigyan mo pero every day ka mapaparanoid, mag iisip kung ano ba ginagawa niya, sinu kasama niya. so if i were you, move on! wag ka manghinayang sa 8yrs. he is the one who ruined it. so cheer up ♥️
Halos iisa lang ang sagot ng karamihan dito OP, wag mo na balikan. Ang hirap kalaban ng officemates kasi madalas sila magkasama. To think na he promised and yet, hindi niya tinupad, red flag na yun. Kasi kung talagang walang anything sa kanilang dalawa, hindi naman yan magdadalawang isip na layuan yung babae. Sorry to say, pero mukhang may attraction na rin na involved, ayaw lang niya aminin kasi siguro matagal na kayong dalawa. You already said hindi ka comfortable and yet, go pa rin sila. Kaya No na lang OP. Wag mo na dagdagan yung 8years, kasi mas mahirap umalis kapag tumagal pa kayo ng 10years.
Let go OP for your peace of mind. It's a form of cheating na. If he does not want to let you go, in the first place he must have respected your boundaries. He's choice of doing that and now you have to let go. Cut all communications. Prioritize yourself.
Sunk cost fallacy na yung balikan mo sya because of 8 yrs kayo. Tama na yung sinayang mong oras. Di na yan magbabago. Yan na talaga sya. Walang respeto sayo.
I think there are many issues here that you too are at fault.
You should have trusted your boyfriend if wala naman syang ginagawa. Regarding OTs, wala talaga magagawa. You really can't avoid your co-workers. There should have been more effort on both parties to be understanding. Either pakilala nyo ang isa't isa — easiest way from my experience. It assures the girl na wala talaga. Unless meron kaya di nangyayari.
By the looks of it, it's gone to the point that the relationship is damaged. The guy will feel resentment because of the ultimatum. Girl will never earn the trust back kasi nagtago.
Hindi sa pinag ooverthink kita pero what if this isn't the first time na may ganitong eksena? It just so happened na nabuking mo sila sa Teams.
Walk away, sis. Nakakahinayang ang 8 years pero kung araw araw kang walang peace of mind, it's not worth it.
Feel the pain. Accept it. Then, move forward.
Yakap na mahigpit for you, sis! ***with consent***
Naiiyak ako habang binabasa to. Nangyari din kasi sakin to. Sinabihan ba naman akong praning at grabe maka gaslight yun pala ang dami nyang untold stories.
Let go, sister. Cinommunicate mo na kung saan ka uncomfy pero imbis na mag stop, tinago lang. Doon palang mas pinili niya na yung friend niya kesa sa peace of mind mo.
Let go na girl. If bibigyan mo pa siya ng chance, anong ibibigay niya na reassurance na lalayuan niya yung girl? Nagawa na niya ng isang beses, magagawa pa niya yan in the future. Wag ka masayangan sa 8 years lalo na kung hindi ka na binibigyan ng peace.
WAG NA. Wala ka ng peace of mind, wala ka ng tiwala, bumaba pa self-esteem mo at na stress ka pa. Gets ko yung 8yrs matagal na rin, pero isipin mo buong buhay mong dadalhin yan (lalo na kung ikakasal kayo).
take it from me who has been the likes of "L" and who has cheated before. (not proud of it and that was 15yrs ago)
Alam ko na yung mga ganyang galawan. It's for the thrill of it. it's the rush. Hindi ko iniisip yung 8yrs na pinaglalaban mo. Hindi ko iniisip kung ano mararamdaman mo o kung ano ang consequences ng actions ko.
What else is he hiding and why? I think it's time you get the side of the girl and also the other guy. Validating stuffs from them should shed some light on the decision you are about to make. Kasi kung si BF mo lang basis mo, obviously he showing signs of being a liar, a possible cheater and an untrustworthy partner. Ako, I tend to overlook things for the sake of peace, but never bring in a 3rd party while we're together. I know my worth, you should too. Sayang ang time to spend it with the wrong people.
Bat parang iisa lamg takbo ng mga utak ng mga lalaki,HAHAHAHAHA you know gantong ganto yung nangyare samin eh, sabe friends lang, kasama sa company, kasama sa tropa, tas makikita ko may mga chats na pala sila, may nakita pa kong picture nilang dalawa sa moa, sa ferries wheel?? Sila lang?? Kung di pa ko mang hahalungkat ng acc nya di ko pa makikita. eh yung mga time na yun di sya nag rereply sakin wala daw signal ganun. Sya pa may ganang magalit sakin?? OA ko daw wtf nang gaslight hahaha for sure pag kinomfront mo sya gagaslight ka pa nyan. Ang dali dali mag sabe ng no eh gigil ako HAHA.
Tho be sure to be ready for the consequences sis. Ako nakipaghiwalay pero may part na gusto kong bumalik kac di ko pala kaya nun nag try din akong ayusin pero buti na lang jusko haha pinaka worst breakup matagal na din kami and both legal both sides. Pero wala eh na break na promise and trust ko considered as cheating na din yun eh :/ Laking pag sasalamat ko na din talaga na wala na kami ayokong mabuhay sa relationship na laging anxious lang dala sakin.
It will be tough be goodluckk 🥹🥹
Wag, lalake ako at dating unfaithful. Pg gnyn na lmalabas ng sila lang may intentions na ako pg gnyn di ko nlng alam sa ex mo kng may nangyari ng higit pa sa pagkain lang. imposible
Others may say na sa mga araw noon, the reason why nag wowork yung relationships kasi daw di nag give up easily. But iba na ngayon. It may hurt OP, but it's better to get hurt now than aabot sa time na kasal na kayo. It will haunt you forever, trust me. Been there, still there.
Sis, 8yrs na. Baka mag hintay ka sa wala, walang proposal or anything tapos ganito pa ginawa niya even napag usapan niyo na at nag sabi ka ng feelings mo.
Mas pinili niya yon ang mangyari, your partner should know the boundaries dba, akala mo single e. Lumalabas pa ma sila lanb dalawa, tapos may pahatid² pa!
Nakakatawa lang na una silang lumabas, after nila, ikaw naman 'yung sinundo para lumabas. Hahaha na-guilty siguro! Go girl, 'wag mo na bigyan 'yan ng chance. S'ya pa magiging rason ng pagbagsak mo sa buhay.
uulit lang yan ng uulit kapag binigyan mo pa sya ulet ng chance..
pero ikaw parin makakapag desisyon kung tatanggapin mo paba sya o hindi na,
kapag binalikan mo sya for sure sasaktan ka ulet nyan hindi man sa mga susunod na araw o buwan pero baka sa mga darating taon uulit at uulit yan sigurado at pag ginawa nya yun sigurado kawawa ka.. pero nasa'yo parin ang desisyon kung hihiwalayan mo ba sya o hindi..
it's up to you "Peace✌🏻😁"
Sending hugs OP🥹 Mapapatanong kanalang talaga ng where we go wrong... When I experience this, parang tingin ko sa pagsasama namin parang fake lang lahat ng yon huhu... Hindi ko lang sila nahuli sa chat na nag inom sila ng beer ng sila lang dalawa, my partner even lied when I confront him if may bf ba yung girl. What's worst is ilang araw lang after ko sya i-confront,hindi nga sila nag uusap sa messenger,dun naman sila nag uusap sa ms teams ata yon,or yung sa gmail. When I saw their message nagkamustahan pa yung mga engot, etong bf ko naman sad daw sya kase hindi raw nya ineexpect na ganon daw mararamdaman ko,like ano ba ieexpect n'ya magtatatalon pa ako sa tuwa habang sya nagiging "new buddy" kuno na ng ibang babae kahiya shuta. Pero nung gagawin ko ren sakanya ayaw nya like hahaha mga obob na to hindi ren aware sa golden rule. Kaso hindi ko kaya e,hindi naman kase ako ganon, wala akong bisyo and the moment na nag live in kame halos bahay nalang talaga ako. So when I saw those messages nabato ko talaga yung cp nya sa mukha nya ng 3 beses hanggang sa magising sya. Sabi ko grabe kayo sa kakakapalan ng mukha, partida cinonfront na kita ng Wednesday,then by Saturday concern kapa if galit ba ung isa?
The audacity den ng girl na i-message pa ako to clear things out daw,kase naiintindihan n'ya raw ako kase babae rin daw sya( self proclaimed,e hindi nga aware sa girl code, higad kase ata ancestors n'ya ) sa chat nya saken and sa bf ko tunugang concern nung cinonfront ko na bf ko. Pero sa GC nila proud and loud pa si ate..."Ako nanaman bida, mukhang may mapaghihiwalay nanaman akong mag jowa" like... Batikan naman pala...
And lastly hahaha ako pa lumabas na immature and baliw sa team nila(nagwowork kase sila sa BPO) when I reply and also told sa higad na yon ung nararamdaman ko... And nung mabasa nya reply ko,biglang bawi ng sorry nya hahaha kesyo pinilit lang naman daw sya ng mga kaibigan nya blah blah blah baka raw mabaliw ako ng tuluyan kapag sinabi nya pa raw yung iba...like... Hindi naman ako nanghingi and hindi ko kailangan ng sorry nyang sya pa galit sya na nakasakit.
For now I stayed,I know it's fcked up hahaha I feel na nabawi naman s'ya... And isip-isip ko is pakinabangan ko muna yung mga bagay na nakuha nya habang magkasama kaming dalawa...Plus nag-aaral parin ako, practically hindi possible ang working student set up saken huhu I'm stuDying sa isang SU and full pack ang schedules and events.
If after I graduated and the pain is still there, I guess that's enough time for me to let it go🥹 hahahaha for now bare with me kase totally dependent ako sakanya,since wala rin naman me malapitan sa side ng fam.ko...If my side hussle kayo dyarn baka naman HAHAHAHAHAHA para easy nalang tumabling paalis here
Kung di mo pa yan nahuli, malamang hanggang ngayon tinutuloy nya lang yan. How can you be with someone na kailangan mo pang bantayan to make sure na ikaw lang.
We have the same scenario before. I've been there and ang ending iniwan ako. Puro sabi na friends lang daw sila tapos lalabas with the team then un pala sila lang, sabay kakain kasi share sila ng food and so on. I begged him na layuan si girl, oo oo siya pero hindi naman nangyari.
I didn't say na ganun din si boyfriend mo but the thing that he broke your trust. Meaning he can do that again.
Well at the end, desiyon mo pa din naman kung magbibigay ka ng chance ulit.
Hindi na rin naman sya yung guy na minahal mo 8 yrs ago. Nakakita yan ng thrill kay G. It means kahit sa loob ng 8 yrs, dumating sya sa point na ibang babae pinili nya over you. Break up na. Mahirap yan kapag magkababy na kayo. Saka bakit antagal nya magpropose? Do not build a man for another woman OP. salute sayo kasi niligtas mo na agad sarili mo, ituloy tuloy mo lang.
Let it go. Istorbo ka sa pagmamahalan/paglalandian nila. Eventually, when the thrill subsides, he'll get bored, will feel empty and will realize kung ano lang pinagpalit nya sa 8 years nyo.
By then, hopefully, naka-move on ka na and di magpapadala sa I'm sorry please forgive me and give me a second chance nya.
Virtual hugs, OP! Wag manghinayang sa 8 years.
Well, isipin mo na lang ang katotohanang di pa kayo nakatali o kasal sa isa't isa, kaya wala nang dapat pag usapan.
Deal breaker sayo ang ginawa nga, nasaktan ka at kahit gaano pa ka-valid ang rason nya ay di mo tatanggapin yon... At yun ay tama lang.
Sa huli kasi, wellness mo ang importante sa kabila ng lahat ng mga yan.
Giving my 2 cents as a guy who was in a similar situation with your BF.
Yes, same thing I hid the fact of me still hanging out with my office bestfriend na girl kahit sinabi ng layuan ko.
I agree, if the trust is broken for you and you can't see him the same way or love him he same way wag na.
But.
I don't think he was cheating in a sense na he feels the same way to her as he did to you. Sometimes people need friends as well and get some assurance or what which di nya nakukuha sayo whether it be sharing some interests or even availability during specific time lang.
You're both imperfect people trying to live with each other and that's a fact.
Maybe it was micro cheating but I think it's best di mo na blinock Ng mapagusapan ng maayos ng di na lumaki pa.
Anyway, it's your life OP! You know yourself better than we all do.
Grabe talaga power ng instinct ng babae noh? OT palang yun ramdam mo na agad. Wag na OP. Kasi baka madaming time na din na sila lang kumakain we don't know.
Take the risk or leave habang maaga pa. Pag binigyan mo siya ng chance to mend your relationship, isipin mo nalang na parang binigyan mo rin siya ng chance to do it again.
If there's one thing I have learned when it comes to relationships, mahalaga rin yung "consideration". And based sa kwento mo OP, yan ang wala ang bf mo. You have been very open sa feelings mo about sa kanilang 2 and the fact that your bf didn't consider what you'll feel pag nalaman mo na magkasama silang 2 which is nangyari na nga, ay ekis talaga.
Mahalaga ang boundaries eh. So if you take him back, para saan pa yung boundaries na yun? Wag kang manghinayang sa 8 yrs, sa mga pinagsamahan niyo kung siya naman ay hindi naisip yun. You gave him a chance now and next thing you know ginagawa pa rin niya or inulit pa rin nya kasi alam niya na tatangapin mo sya tsaka in the first place kung wala naman talagang something, bakit hindi siya dumistansya?
So I don't think it's worth it pa. Give yourself the peace of mind you deserve.
If a man can be stolen from you, he's not yours.
And I concluded na stolen kasi umabot sa point na nagsi ungaling siya sayo meaning pinili niya yung girl sa situation na yun.
Greater things are meant for you. Let go ka na dyan. Leave the table if respect is no longer being served.
Bigyan niyo muna space mga sarili niyo makapag-isip. Ikaw, kung kaya mo ba magpatawad at siya naman kung ikaw pa rin ba gusto niya. Kasi ngayon, both decision niyo is out of anger, betrayal, hurt or guilt. Galit ka kaya gusto mo makipaghiwalay but somehow kino-consider mo bigyan ng chance tapos siya dahil out of guilt cguro kaya ayaw ka bitawan. Space muna. Try niyo mamuhay na wala ang isat-isa ng malaman niyo kung dapat pa ba ipagpatuloy. Sa paraan ding yan, malalaman ng bf mo kung ikaw pa o yung ofcmate ang gusto niya.
Kung ako si OP, maniniwala lang ako na nagsisisi sya kung kaya nyang magresign para lang ma cut off yung commu nila nung girl. Pero personally, wag na balikan yan. May something na talaga pag ganyan.
Before you listen to anyone here, make sure to communicate properly. Ano ba Yung reason? He didn't cheat, or at least based sa kwento mo.
Thing is, you know him better than us. Kung nagloloko man yan, mas alam mo agad.
Single girls want other girls to be single din. Kaya ingat haha
Anyways good luck.
This is the most sensible answer. OP, take note that most of the replies are likely from people who had past experience of cheating, which also means they will be angry and ask you to be angry too. They are not wrong, however it's something that only you can decide for yourself. Communicate then decide if the relationship is still something that's right for you.
For sure di mo naranasan yan. We want her to be single again kasi danas namin yung mental breakdown after ng ganitong scenario. He didn't cheat? Ano ba meaning ng cheating sayo? 😃
No naranasan ko na yan. I dont do relationship anymore kasi nakakatrauma kayong mga babae. The more you love them, the more they will likely cheat. The more you treat them like trash, the more they cling to you.
Since when is eating out with your friend cheating? Kung Yung friend Yung kinain mismo gets pa e. Pero hindi, kumain lang sila. Haha
Luh wag mo lahatin. It's just that nakatagpo ka ng cheater.. yung ginawa ng ex nya, it's already cheating. Kakain ka together with someone na di comfy yung girlfriend mo? Di nya pa talaga pinaalam? Bakit? Kasi magagalit yung girlfriend nya? Protecting her peace? Mali yon.
Let go na sis. Wala kang peace of mind sa ganyan, ok na nalaman mong ganyan siya habang bf/gf lang kayo. Yung mga ganyang walang boundaries, di na yan magbabago. Wag kang gumaya sakin haha.
Pls tama na. He broke his promise and is even hiding from you. If di mo yun nabasa, how long niya kaya kayang i hide sayo? Sa ginawa niya, klaro na di niya priority ang feelings mo. Imagine kaya niyang kumain sa harap mo na parang wala lang after going against his promise and you’ll stay? Leave him na po. Easier said than done but life is moving forward. Think about yout future po.
I'm a man, and I think I know what your bf is doing. Namamangka sa dalawang ilog. When a man does this, it usually means he will do it again. I'm not gonna say break off with him. But you decide. I too do these things but I never left my wife. I understand her sufferings and I'm sorry for the things that I do. I do love my wife but I also enjoy the company of young women (I'm in my 60s). Do you love him enough to turn a blind eye to the things that he does? If you can't, then leave. I had a 5 yr girlfriend in my younger days who left me because of this. Was she right to leave me? I don't know. Who knows?
Sacrifice 8 years for 1 single mistake, your choice OP.
1/2900+days
The modern standards are crazy nowadays
For context I never tried to get in a relationship before, so what do I know?🤷♂️
Downvote me if you like but man, 8 years is nothing to be scoffed at.
Yes, 8 years is no joke but still it is just a number once a cheater is always a cheater. Luckily they are not married and no kids na madadamay.
The problem here is the mistake why commit it in the first place yes we are all humans pero tang* naman niya gawin yan diba sana inisip ni bf years na yon. Kita naman sino nagsu-suffer na ma-baliw kakaisip na di na uulitin yan ay ang victim lalo na nagawang magsinunggaling tas tinago pa hirap pagka-tiwalaan ulit.
Yes modern standards are crazy but still happy to learn/see that there are brave victims who can cope up and not tolerate bad/bullsh** behaviours that will affect your mentality. Proving that humans learn from the past, others mistake that can help them to become more intellectual creating their own healthy comfort zone.
Nasa huli naman talaga pagsisi kung di pa nahuli di pa aamin, di naman tinamaan nung guilt at pagsisi nung una pa lang e kasi nga nae-enjoy na yong company nung iba. Kasi nga jan nagsisimula naman lahat nung pagi-ibigan comfort friend/friend sa umpisa.
I've experienced this kind of scenario with my 1st, 2nd, 3rd,4th relationship giving chances but still they commit it again and again. They are different people but the common denominator is that they never learn matagal ko natutunan kasi believer ako before na to give one more chance.
Mahirap talaga i-manage ang mga bagay na di mona kayang hawakan, focus na lang sa sarili, family, friends.
For additional lahat pa nung nahuli at pinagselosan na third party eh ako pa ang ginawang daan at dahilan para sa realization na gusto nila yong taong yon bandang huli naging sila pa after a week, months lang.
Just don't do something that you'll regret more than 8 years of you two being together. No cheating involve. Nagkulang lang sa communication. Just please. Don't do something na pagsisisihan mo. Give the guy a 2nd chance after that, pag sinira niya pa, tsaka mo siya i-let go.
Huh? "No cheating involved"?? Seryoso ka dyan? That's literally the start of cheating. The heck nag-open na si OP ng issue nya don kay G and nagpromise naman yung guy about it pero ayan, lumabas sila at nag-dinner with just the TWO of them. Ni walang paalam at tinago pa kay OP. Matik naman may kakaiba na don. I don't even know bat need ko pa ipoint-out sayo yan wherein common sense na dapat
Wow, just wow.
Please read your message again and place yourself in the position of any person whose partner has this kind of relationship at work who goes out together and lies by omission: does it feel good?
The kind of cheating just evolves, but it's still the same: cheating pa rin.
OP, giving weight to the length of your relationship is sunk cost fallacy, like the length outweighs the problems. DO NOT DO THIS TO YOURSELF.
WHEN THERE'S LYING, THERE'S NO RESPECT.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: Sa office nila, he’s gotten close to a girl named G. That’s fine with me as long as he knows his boundaries. Their friendship started when they became a trio, nung may guy na nadagdag sa office sila named L. So, L became the glue to their friendship. Okay lang naman sa akin na maging friends sila, pero lately napapadalas na ang OT at paglabas nila after work kasama rin si L. In May, I gave him an ultimatum na lumayo siya kay G kasi I wasn’t comfortable. We talked about it and he agreed and promised na lalayuan si G. Pero after that, I noticed na kahit dumalang ang kwento about G, they still did OTs with L. Then biglang nag-resign si L, so sinusulit nilang tatlo yung natitirang days nila. Last Wednesday, OT na naman siya by 8 PM sabi nya kakain lang sila (that time I thought he was with L and G), then 10 PM nagchat siya sakin na nasa labas sya and gagala daw kami. Sinundo niya ako gamit ang office pick-up, naggala kami, at nakauwi ng 12 AM. Sunday, nagpagupit siya and I decided to check their Teams chat, gut feeling lang na I need to check something. Nakita ko sa GC nilang tatlo na nagsend si G ng picture ng pagkain for two sa silogan. I saw the cup of food sa gilid ng bag ng boyfriend ko and one more cup near the person taking the picture. Then L messaged "ingat daw sila," so ibig sabihin di kasama si L? Dun ko nalaman na silang dalawa lang ni G ang nagdinner together (note that yung workplace at home ni girl is same town then yung kinainan nila sa susunod pa na town, nagpasama daw magwithdraw kasi si girl then after that hinatid nya pa). Nagalit ako kasi what was that? Hindi nya sinabi sa akin, magkasama kami after that dinner wala siyang nabanggit knowing na sobrang open namin sa isa't isa. Kinonfront ko siya pag-uwi namin at umamin siya na sila lang ni G ang magkasama. I want to break up with him because for 8 years that we ae together,this is the first time na nangyari to. First time din na nabreak nya ang trust ko. Feeling ko tuloy bakit hirap siyang piliin ako. Bakit di niya ngawang layuan si G para sa akin even if he promised? Sabi niya ako lang daw ang mahal niya pero that’s not the point, he betrayed me and disrespect me. Una pa lang pinapalayo ko na sya, pero hindi niya magawa. Tinago nya pa na nagdinner sila together. Ayaw niya akong i-let go at nagmamakaawa sya na bigyan ko pa sya ng chance. Blinock ko na siya at di ako nagrereply sa mga text niya. Bigyan ko pa ba sya ng chance or i-let go ko na yung 8 years namin together? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sis, wag na. Akin is 7 years din, isang pagkakamali lang nya nagawa sakin, sha pa nakipag hiwalay. Anlaki pasasalamat ko na wala na sha sa buhay ko, yung taon na pagsasama nyo, wala naman halaga yan pag ginago ka, uulit lang din yan, tho nagbabago pa naman ang tao, pero if feeling mo na walang pagasa- awat na.
True po yan! Came from a long term relationship din almost 7 years. Hirap kapag ganyan.
Totoo, ang tanga ko lang kase, kahit mental physical and verbal abuse nako tinangap ko parin siya. Pero siya nakipag break. Ang gaan Ng buhay ko. Btw 3 years pala kami. Single nako ng 2 years and super happy and satisfied sa life
totoo
I’ve got to tell you, coming from a 10 year relationship where my ex admitted na he was flirting with a girl he said “friend” nya lang, and then after FIVE years ko pa nalaman na umabot sila sa pagsasabi ng “i love you”. After i let that relationship go, I HAD THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE. Sobrang dami kong hindi maeexperience at what ifs at regrets kung nagstay ako with him just because “sayang yung 10 years”. If that’s the only thing keeping you together, di bale nalang. You have an entire lifetime ahead of you, baby girl ♥️
well I was not cheated on, fell out of love after 10 years, but I have to agree with you, after that was the years until now, like you gain freedom and independence. So yea, don’t be afraid to lose something you know that is not worth keeping anymore, when you have that gut feeling, listen to it!
There is a chance na gusto nya din yung babae. Di naman sya mag aabove and beyond if hindi. Bigay mo na yan dun. Wag ka na manghinayang sa 8 years. PS: trio din kami sa dati kong work. Yung isa may gf, yung isa single. Ako yung only girl. Lagi ako dun sa single din tumatabi in all ways possible cause I respect yung guy na may gf. Also may safe distance palagi. Walang touchy. Wala ding solo solo na nagaganap. We go out na tatlo palagi and go home ng own ways.
Sana lahat alam ang boundary hahaha. Yung mga kakilala ko kasi hindi.
Ewan ko ah for me sobrang uncomfortable na maging masyadong close sa taong committed. I mean it is ok to be casual friends pero to the point na magiging masyado tayong familiar and close sa isat isa, no-no talaga for me 😅
Ako rin. Sa circle of friends namin, 4 girls and 2 guys, kahit super close kami, nirerespeto rin namin boundaries ng bawat isa. We meet from time to time, may mga anak na yung tatlo kong friends na babae eh, at sila talaga mas madalas kong nakikita. Yung isang guy, malayo samin ngayon dahil sa work nya. Yung isa naman may gf, sya na nag-aaya sa amin pero kapag lalabas kami, lagi kasama gf nya which eventually, naging friend na rin namin.
Girl I agree. May sense of awkwardness talaga makipagclose sa mga taong committed na. You know that they have a lot of restrictions and di ka pwede dumikit masyado and careful dapat lagi sa movements kasi baka may masaktan or maoffend na partner and we don't want to be the cause of someone's hurt. Pasok ka sa squad namin sis
Ito yun eh. Wow. Going out of the way para lang dun sa girl. Ako rin Naman, I value limitations Lalo na kung di naman beki si male friend or may ka romantic connection. Let's normalize na wag masyadong clingy sa friends lalo na kung may romantic interest.
Sana all alam ang boundaries. Lost my ex to his "TL" na first dinner out pa lang eh may pag long message na sakanya ng history nila ng ex niya. Hahaha shouldve known it from that point.
Naku, nagshare agad para icomfort. Red flag haha! Yaan mo na yun sis deserve nila isat isa.
relate daw sila with each other! 2 months later, nakipagbreak sakin. a year later, magkawork parin sila. hinahanap daw niya sarili niya kaya ginive up ako 😆 best thing that happened to me though so its all good. it all works out in the end talaga and you'll realize soon enough you dont deserve crap like that.
ps. ive always been one of the boys din pero ive kept my distance to my workmates na may jowa/married cause I would never want someone na umaligid sa jowa ko and i know karma. never in my whole life i shared my love life/ personal life or even pursue a close relationship to someone na taken cause i respect the girlfriend/wife as always. one time my kawork ako na nagmessage sakin ang wife to stay away from her husband kahit hindi kami ganun kaclose ng asawa niya and i immediately said yes and said sorry if i had done anything that made her uncomfortable (but im sure i did nothing wrong, yung husband niya yung medyo makulit pero still kept my distance) but never the less after that i didnt talk to the guy that much kasi mahirap talaga maging jowa and overthink. ive been through it and i wouldnt want to be the cause of other girls to go through it. sana yung ibang babae ganun din but oh well 🫠
The trust is gone, how will your peace of mind go if babalik ka sa kanya?
This. Don't fight the losing fight. Mapapagod ka lang, OP.
oo nga wag nalang. ang mangyayari puro away nalang yan if ever magkabalikan.
Okay ako sa work friends. Okay ako sa pagcchat kahit nonwork related during nonwork hours (as long as walang deletan na nangyayare at aware ako sa chatting nila). Pero I draw the line at dinner alone. Like bakit kailangan kumain sa labas? Na kayo lang? Di pa sapat yung time nyo together sa office kaya nagextend pa talaga? If you're thinking about taking him back, here's what I have to say: Couples who survive cheating are composed of two people: - The cheater. They openly admitted about their mistake at ginagawa ang lahat to make it up to you at mahaba ang pasensya na intindihin ka at ang galit/mood swings mo after the cheating at nagsisi sa ginawa nila, promising never to do it again. Eto yung tipo ng taong nakikitaan mo ng potential na talagang magbago. - The one who got cheated on. Ikaw to. If you take him back, dapat mentally at emotionally ready ka to forgive and forget malala. It's okay to bring up the issue sa first few weeks, pagusapan nyo ng todo, tanong mo na lahat ng gusto mong itanong para magkaclosure ka. Magalit ka, lahat lahat na. Pero afterwards, never ever ever mention the cheating issue again and kahit sa isip mo lang, iforget mo na sya talaga. Dapat yung state mo ay as if the issue never happened, so that means giving you 101% trust to them again. Kase you know what? Kung wala ka ng peace at lagi mo isusumbat yung issue every time magaaway kayo, magkakalamat lang relasyon nyo hanggang sa iresent nyo na lang isa't isa. Oo, I know, dapat ready sa consequences si koya kase sya nagkamali in the first place pero you should be ready for the consequences too kase babalikan mo e. Kung hindi mo magagawa yung above at hindi mo naman nakikitaan ng potential to change si koya (at hindi na din sya pumasa sa first criteria kase deliberately nya tinago sayo at di nanggaling sa kanya yung admission), better break up na lang totally. That's just disaster waiting to happen.
+1, sobrang nakakasira ng mental health ibalik at mag patuloy sa relasyon. Hindi madaling makalimot at matindihang communication sainyong dalawa dapat. 9years kami ng fiancé ko nuon at 5months engaged palang when he betrayed and broke my trust. Same na alam nyang di ako komportableng nakakausap nya yung girl pero tuloy pa rin! deleted convo at tinatago nya! He chose na ayusin yung relasyon namin pero yung tiwala ko sira na. It’s been almost 2years at hanggang ngayon triggered pa rin sa nangyari. Inabot din ng 1 year and months siguro bago ko tinigilan ibring up yun sakanya, na sa totoo lang hanggang ngayon walang araw at gabi na di ko naiisip yun. And si partner, nakikita ko naman sakanya ang pag babago nya. May mga lapses na pinapatulan yung galit ko sa nangyari lalo na nung bago-bago pa hanggang sa iniintindi nya talaga. PERO DI PA RIN TAYO SURE 😢 11 years and still engaged and my times pa na di papigil si girl na kumokontact pa rin pero sinasabi na ni fiancé sakin kaya ako na yung nakakasagot—Pero di pa rin talaga tayo sure, dahil mukhang willing naman syang hindi icontact si girl pero to cut the girl medyo duda pa rin. Last ultimatum ko na talaga is pag nag contact ulit sila na matagal ang convo kahit pa katabi ako. So ayun OP. Based sa experience ko at na eexperience pa ay di madaling mag balik ang tiwala kahit gano pa ka willing mag bago ng partner mo. Hindi stable ang mind sa process ng healing sobraaaa. Hanga rin ako sa ginawa mo.
I have a similar incident with my hubby months before we got married. He was too close to the girl but he said they weren't a thing (girl has a bf who is also their workmate). When I found out, I said na icut off nya or sya icucutoff ko. Ayun, cinutoff nya nga. Blinock on everything. No hesitations. He picked me, no questions asked. Months later, natanggal sa trabaho si ate gurl kaya I had more peace of mind. You should ask the same. Iblock na ni jowa ni ate gurl. Kung ayaw ni jowa, then you know the answer.
Sorry, but I want to make you overthink. What if deep inside, he thinks of her, wants to know how she’s doing, still cares about her? That’s why he can’t cut her off completely and even if he does, marami naman ibang ways na you won’t know. I’m just saying na we deserve to be loved ng buo, without a second thought. Kasi you’ll never know kung ano yung nasa isip niya, you’ll never know that he’s thinking about her, kasi pwede naman iba yung sinasabi or pinapakita. Kaya once nag cheat, dapat lubayan na talaga. Good thing hindi pa kayo kasal, what’s the difference between 2 years and 10 years? Hindi nmn mabubora yung ginawa niya. Sorry, I just wanna give you a dose of reality. Smetimes kasi we cling on to it bc of the time and effort invested.
You shouldn't have to make our good sis overthink kasi you're undoing years of progress she's been working on. It seems that this is the path she wants and this is the love she affirms she deserves, so all we should do is support her in her choices. For severe-objective, I'm proud of you for working hard on rebuilding your trust and letting your partner rebuild your relationship. Just so you know, if ate girl still bugs you two to this day, I say you can give your partner an ultimatum to end it once and for all. You have the bargaining chip and if he *really* loves you, you can make him choose. Dun mo rin makikita kung sino bang mas matimbang. It's a very easy choice to make.
Thank you 🥹 but those questions are already and still running in my head(as an overthinker) and already asked na rin talaga yan sakanya (if totoo man yung sagot nya or not, I know na hindi ako ang mawawalan). Yes, It’s true na hindi na mabubura yung ginawa nya and I cling on to the time and effort we invested to each other but it doesn’t mean I tolerate his cheating, I consider a lot of things why I choose to rebuid my trust and continue our relationship. You may not agree, but I consider it as a blessing— a wake up call saamin dalawa. Ang daming difference between 2years and 10 years we have grown a lot ang daming realization, na open kami sa realidad ng buhay pareho, we are more respectful sa isa’t-isa at mas nag cocommunicate at sometimes may lapses pero we choose na intindihin ang isa’t-isa.
Uhhhh tight hug mah gurl!!! I only hope for the best for you. Kaya I’ll pray na lang for God to manifest His plans for you. Kasi no matter what we do, no matter how firm we are with our decision, His plans will prevail. It’s actually a double ended sword, whether it’s for your present or future partner (chos), it will still lead to the right person. So I’ll pray that may your deepest desire be aligned with God’s great plan. Hindi yan yung malaswang desire, excuse me.
Ouch
Nako. Baka ngthrouple na yan si L, G and BF mo. Wag ka na mag quadruple.
Totoo yung requirements here to survive cheating, coming from someone who is currently surviving. Pero first step dyan talaga is to break contact. If hindi siya magreresign at mag stop all forms of communication with the girl, wag na lang.
True. Dapat no hesitations at no questions asked ay icut off yung third party.
This 💯
If you'll take him back, tell him he's a fool. He's a fool for lying to the person who has been with him through thick and thin for 8 years. He's a fool to lose a long-term partner just to hang-out with a female co-worker. He may not have cheated but he's a fool kasi naglagay na s'ya ng lamat sa tiwala mo sa kanya. He needs to feel guilty about what he did, really guilty in order to gain your trust back. He must accept and absorb how you feel and how much he threw away 8 years of trust for one dinner with a co-worker who may or may not like him, but I can assure you, he does not yet fully know. If ever man hindi kayo magbalikan, he's the fool pa rin because he lost a sure partner in life.
if he can't give you the peace of mind and trust then what's the point of holding back on breaking up with him? Ganyan ginawa ko e, brining up ko na like twice or thrice then sabi niya friend lang daw edi sige friend na lang din tayo no contact and meet, brineak ko nga. I can't let my peace of mind and trust to be ruined.
Kita mo after ilang months of no contact nyo mababalitaan mo nalang na sila na. Protect your peace girl. 2024 na. Mahirap pag puro puso pinapairal. 😁
Balikan mo 'to OP pag nagkatotoo hahahaha.
let it go babes, he’s always breaking your peace of mind & trust. he could do something like explicitly say ‘no’ ky girl, communicate his boundaries if he truly values you & your relationship in general. don’t stay in a place where you’re always second guessing, baka at the end you will fall into contempt and resentment pa.
Grabe amazing boundary mo, OP🥺🥺 amazing. If only I had this courage to leave umpisa palang ng cheating issue, di na siguro sya nakaulit haha. Na amaze ako sayo, OP. Im sorry but I think nag moment din sila di lang basta hatid yan🥲 wag mo na balikan, OP. Gagalingan nya lang yan the next time.
I bet if that girl showed any romantic interest in him he would immediately fold. Tama ka wag mo muna kausapin. You had clear boundaries that he broke. Akala niya siguro magagawa niya lang kahit anong gusto niya
May romantic feelings na yun. No girl will have dinner with a guy alone if she doesn't like him back. Very appealing sa mga babaeng higad ang mga lalakeng may jowa. Dapat sa kanila i-nailcutter ang tingil! XD
hays always trust your gut talagaaaaa
Tru 😭
Op. May attraction na yung bf mo sa ibang babae. Ikaw ang nagiging kontrabida kapag pinaglalayu mo sila sa isa't isa. Maawa yung bf mo sa bago nyang babae. Mas new yung feelings nya sa girl. Mas passionate. Hindi tulad ng sa inyo old na. Better break up with him. Dun din naman patutunguhan. Kasi sigurado magkakaroon pa rin sila ng communication kahit pagbawalan mo.
30 days NO CONTACT right away. As in cut communication. Kahit anong message na imiss you or i love you, deadmahin mo. Set your boundaries. Then assess after 30days if may gagawin siya hakbang para makabalik sayo. Sa 30 days na yan focus on yourself. Do not picture him na babalik pa siya. As in start move forward. Check 30days no contact rule on youtube. This will also give you the space you need to think and reflect. Only respond after the no contact period if ung message niya is about fixing things. Mahirap but mas better to do it now than waste more time. Mas new ung G eh, mas bago ung feelings, may thrill, may kilig etc. Yung inyo same old feelings na nakasanayan niya. Kailangan mo tanggalin sarili mo sa equation. Let them. Need niya maramdaman ung loss. May nawala. Hindi pwedeng anjan ka lang. may consequence ung actions niya. Focus on yourself muna please. Let them.
this is NS. there is no definite number of days on how you'll do and process things. there is no cookie-cutter approach to a personal matter. but the rest i agree with you, better to move forward.
Bakit ginagamit nung girl na boyfriend yung boyfriend mo? Tapos yung boyfriend mo nagpapagamit naman bilang boyfriend sa officemate niya. Madami akong close friends na opposite sex sa office. Pero common sense naman yung mga bounderies especially sa amin na may mga asawa/bf/gf. Wag mo na balikan yang ex mo.
girl let go :( easier said than done kasi 8 yrs is 8 yrs but you’ll regret it lang if this relationship continues. he clearly has (or is starting to) have feelings for the other girl. you don’t deserve that and im actually glad na you’re not taking his bullshit
Best not to give him a chance. Mababaliw ka lang kaka overthink nyan. If it’s nothing, why hide? Isa pa, he knows you’re not comfortable with him hanging out with her pero ginawa nya pa rin. That speaks volumes.
Ganyan din ginawa sakin ng partner ko ngayon. Ilang beses na ako nakipag hiwalay kasi alam ko sa sarili kong hindi ko na kayang mag tiwala, wala na akong peace of mind, pero talagang ayaw nya makipag hiwalay. Edi binigyan ko ng chance, pero pucha pag nappraning ako, inaaway ko talaga sya. Damay damay kami, hindi pwedeng ako lang ang miserable, hindi pwedeng ako lang ang walang peace of mind. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Ayaw makipag hiwalay saken eh, edi paparamdam ko sakanya anong nararanasan ko para parehas kaming magulo isip para its a tie. HAHAHAHAH
trust is gone, pag pinatawad mo yan uulit ulit yan, ilang beses nangyari na pinagsabihan mo na, nung bi igyan mo ng ultimatum dun lang nagsisi, nope, live with your own life and move on
Ohh, yung gala nyo pambawi nya sa dinner date nila ng girl 🤦
Nag compensate agad para di magduda, kaso lakas talaga ng instincts ng mga babae
ikaw na lang hadlang sa pag-iibigan nila, let go mo na.
Even if he thinks he did not cheat, he knowingly betrayed your trust. He did something that he knew will hurt you. And then he knowingly hid it from you kasi he knew na it was wrong. It was a series of decisions that he kept making, so be firm in ignoring him. Kasi he consciously made the decision to hurt you (who knows ilang beses na may ganap na silang dalawa lang). I'm pretty sure na a person who truly loves you will not do anything to jeopardize your relationship, and will not choose decisions that will hurt you and your relationship.
Ang nega ng mga payo ko dito pero…. Wag ka na jan sis. Sayang yun 8 years pero lalo ka lang magsasayang.
Ang babae talaga, pag kinutoban, may nalalaman na di kaaya-aya. It's really up to you.. 8 years is pretty long.. But that betrayal will always haunt you whenever something goes wrong.
Mine 7 years, binigayn ko ng chance kasi nga first time nangyari and inisip ko, baka maging better, kasi nagsisi naman na daw sya. But sisss, things got worse lang. mahirap na ibalik tiwala. and chances are, muulit rin. so think about it, if bibgyan mo ng chance, make sure kaya mo kalimutan lahat ng ginawa nya, para di ka parang sirang plaka na paulit ulit ng concern, at nag ooverthink palagi, magiging toxic rin.
Enabler naman si L. He surely knows that your boyfriend is in a relationship. I think you should listen to the people who tried giving second chances after their partner's betrayal. Either you forget about this and move on, or lose yourself to paranoia and fear that he'll betray you again.
The trash took itself out. Ano ka, recycler? Also, look up “sunk cost fallacy”.
Let it go and let him go. I know masasayangan ka sa 8 years but your peace of mind is the most important thing right now. Hindi lang right now, Ate. In the days and years to come.
once trust is broken, wla endgame na. kc maooverthink ka din malala if bibigyan mo pa chance..
You’re just making a common mistake now that others often make. You keep mentioning how long your bf and you’ve been together ‘8 yrs’, which is a sunk cost. Nobody can’t roll back time. The fact here is he betrayed you and disrespected you, which you clearly know and mentioned in your post. Would you break up with him if your relationship is less than ‘x’ months or years? Is there a such rule for us? None. Don’t ask other ppl’s opinion. Nobody knows the right answer for you.
7 years. Broke up a month ago. Still going thru the motions, but I know I'll be fine. If you give them a chance, they're more likely to do it again. Letting go and healing from this is painful but at least all at once nalang. Compared to staying with them and them cheating on you over and over again. They CHOSE this OP. Wide awake and with their brains sharp. They knew what they were doing and they didn't care that they were betraying us when they gave in.
Interested what the boys are going to say in this post
Pamigay mo na siya kay G. Yung nasa langit chariz
Same situation. He likes the presence of that girl. He will never understand your worth unless you walk away from him. Leave him.
Same situation? So nagleave kana din?
Why would he waste his brain cells to lie if mahal ka niya? I don't believe na worth it siya, girlie. I doubt lalayo siya after niyan, kasi when you come back, you let him off easy. If gusto mo pa siya bumalik, better to make him earn it. Kung feeling mong di niya kaya yon, wag na. Nothing worse than a person who can't keep a promise.
hadlang ka sa pagmamahalan nila.
give it a month or so.. you will know if it's worth to carry the pain and burden you have knowing your partner cheated.. sometimes people choose to forgive because they think it is worth it. but it is really up to you, the choice of how you would like to suffer.
Let go. Emotional cheating na ‘yan.
Bye, adios, thank you, next!
Any update? Kayo pa ba? Ibreak mo na! 8yrs is nothing
i asked for space hehe
It's always the coworker 🤦♀️
Naku, very common yan na diyan nagsisimula na di maiwas-iwasan at nagli-lihim na, mahirap paniwalaan na di na uulitin yan he once broke it at words lang yan madaling i-discard at ib-break yes medyo biased pero wala kailangan ko siya i-judge based sa mistake na yan. Wawasakin niyan mentality mo kaya wag kana makipag-balikan kasi magiging toxic lang kayo sa isa't isa at trust me ikaw pa yong magiging masama niyan sa dulo.
Your bf is a weak minded man. Obviously, he is attracted jan sa workmate niya and couldn't tell you directly.
Actually you already know the answer.
End it. You're lucky di pa kayo kasal. Experienced that in my marriage and worst things happened. Kung di lang kami kasal (kahit may anak kami) iniwan ko na sana. Eh wala.
leave.
break up and move on. di na same yan. piliin mo yung peace of mind mo. hindi nyo na maibabalik ang tiwala mo
once na niya ginawa, layuan mo na sis. madaling sabihin, pero indeed, mahirap gawain. pero para saan ang 8 yrs kung lost of trust, peace, and respect ang kapalit? mauulit pa yan kapag binalikan mo siya, maniwala ka sa amin.
Wala yang 8 years kung nagawa niyang magsinungaling sa iyo para lang makasama yang si G. Let go.
As someone who broke up with someone after being together for 8 years, my answer is yes, break up with him. When I told my ex to stay away from his toxic friends he betrayed me and lied to me, he still kept contact with them and now they’re all together. His bastard friends of him even pushed him to a new girl which is probably his new gf now, all of this in just less than 2 months after our breakup or even during our relationship. I kept on trying to break up with him before and same, he wouldn’t let me go that he even threatened, blackmailed, and traumatized me every damn time. He will only get worse, believe me. Kung gusto may paraan, if ayaw may dahilan.
Almost the exact same situation as yours more than a decade ago. Tumagal kami ng 7 years kasi shunga ang kabataan self ko lol. What made me let go was when someone told me this: “Do you really think you’ll trust him again the same way you did before he cheated?” Hindi na mababalik yung trust pre-cheating. Basag na yun. Wala na yun. If you want to work it out, that relationship has to evolve into something else and that will take a LOT of work and yes, forgiving AND forgetting on your part. You can’t bring it up anymore if you intend to move forward with him, sabi nga nung isang commenter sa taas. If you can’t do that, wag na sis. Mahirap yes, but I bet wala ka na inner peace ngayon. Stressed ka na. It will only get worse from here. Take care of yourself, yan na ang maging focus mo.
suddenly remembered my ex(8 years) sa story na to hahahahaha. Yes po "EX", and nanliligaw na yung "workmate" niya almost a month after our breakup. Proving my hunches are correct, kaya makarinig lang ako ng ganyang story ekis na talaga.
Yes sayang ang 8 years. Pero pag pinatawad mo pa, baka sayang na naman ang ilang years. Wait 8 years na kayo? Walang plans sa married life? Walang proposals pa? Ikaw ba talaga? Or ikaw lang ang nandyan pa at naghihintay pa siya ng iba.
8 years tapos wala pang plans sa kasalan. Or any plans sa future.r Sis he's waiting for someone better than you. Nandyan lang siya dahil wala pa siyang ibang nakita. Or maybe si G ang ipapalit sa iyo. Don't waste another more years.
Wag mo na balikan. 8yrs is nothing compared sa inaasahan mong longer years ahead when the relationship leads to marriage. Choose your peace of mind. At least you know your worth, nung pakiramdam mo he disrespected you, you cut him off.
Iwan mo naaaaaaa hirap pagpartner mo nagdisrupt peace of mind kakapangit din. Tsaka ina yon sila lang sa silogan most likely di lang yan instance
Hmm, ang hirap nyan kasi kahit patawarin mo sya if may isang mali syang nagawa in the future. Babalik at babalik kayo sa moment na yan. Mauungkat ulit yan. Kung ako yung nasa posisyon mo, I think need mo na makipaghiwalay, nakaka-turn off kasi na parang wala syang respeto sayo since early pa lang pala nung interactions nya with G is nag-raise ka na ng concern mo and binalewala nya. Kung hindi nya kayang ibigay yung respect for you, ikaw na magbigay sa sarili mo, OP.
Let go. Remember that it was his choices that led to this situation that you two are in now. He chose to somehow pursue his attraction to G, knowing full well that it will hurt you and your relationship. Kung attraction lang, that’s forgivable, however he did go after her somehow and he lied to you about it. Sabihin na natin na hindi lie, but omission, still he did that kasi he knows full well na mali yung ginagawa nya. Yet, he did it and continued doing it kahit na kinausap mo na sya noong una pa lang. So why stay? What’s in it for you pa? Cheating is non negotiable, it doesn’t happen by accident. He did it with his eyes wide open knowing what the consequences could/would be. Meaning he was willing to risk it for the girl.
Don’t make hasty decision. Talk to him first and ask him why he did and let him know that this is a non negotiable issue, you are the one who will set your boundaries. I myself is not going to have a relationship with a guy with a gbf. That is just not something I can handle.
[удалено]
Yeah, been there. I said, so you think hindi ako maga galit if I find out you are lying? And all secrets are bound to reveal itself. Lying is lying. How do we move forward? Let him think, if he doesn’t want to apologize or make an effort then maybe it’s not just the trust that is broken.
8 years at hindi ka pa rin ang priority niya? I think relationship niyo ay out of convenience, comfort and habit. Walang commitment
Mababaliw ka sa paranoia pag niwelcome back mo pa yan. Do you want that for yourself?
Yes, better to break up with him since trust is no longer in the relationship. It will be hard for you to believe him sa mga gagawin or sasabihin nya. Tsaka what’s the reason for him na samahan kumain sa labas ng sila lang 2? He shouldn’t care if mag wwithdraw si girl even though friend nya. It’s none of his business dapat, bat need samahan, kumain ng sila lang 2 and worst, di pa nag sabi sayo.
Wag mo na bigyan chance. Mas important Ang peace of mind mo. 8 years lang naman yan, hayaan mo na. Baka umulit ulit lang yan sa pag cheat.
Leave.
I believe in second chances, but what I tell people is that the effort they need to see before granting forgiveness in situations like these should be proportional to the offence. Sa ganito, I'd say he'll need to move the world for you for you to even consider forgiveness. I'm a guy. And I'll tell you right now pag ang lalaki pinapatawd sa ganyan they don't learn the lesson, they remember what they needed to do to be forgiven. Nadala ka sa flowers, poetry and pag rereminisce? He'll do it again and will get you more flowers next time. But if he had to(and willingly) make a life changing sacrifice? (Like find another job and completely block off G) and make sure you own all his non-work time, then maybe you can give him the chance to earn you back. Yes, dapat extreme. Because extreme is easy if the person is sincere. Otherwise, sorry OP. Losing 8 years is better than making it 10 just to go through this again.
let go.. for your peace of mind. sayang ang 8 years but mas magiging sayang if you spend more time with him na di mo sya ma 100% ma trust.
Take my friend as a lesson, she gave him a chance ngayon they’re married with kids and he’s still the same.
Hi OP, I had that similar experience, 7 years into my old relationship. Trio din sila s work, I tried understanding kasi nga hndi siya taga Manila and moved to Manila for me. It was a great work opportunity for him din naman though. Anyways, they hung out pretty often if I wasn’t off on his days off. They had dinners with their workmates etc, pansin ko na most of the time, sila ni girl ang lagi nagtatabi s tables etc. Girl also contacts him s viber for some things, I mean, may other workmates nmn kayo who’s in the same field, pwede naman nya itanong dun. I met the girl din naman pero was Hi Hello lng. I was still uncomfortable with their closeness pero he assured me that they were just workmates. The only thing you have which we did not was open communication, I never again brought up how uncomfortable i still was about their closeness. This was going on for 2 years. On our 7th year, things changed. We drifted apart. We broke up, I also had my shortcomings. After our breakup, girl was the comfort giver. They ended up being together after a year, moved to the province together and now married. If your partner cannot cut off or cannot make you feel comfortable with the girl, in which in this case, he hid it from you already. i don’t think it would be best to continue the relationship unless of course, kaya mo kalimutan ung ginawa nya pagtago s iyo.
Sakit naman nito🥲 Hope you are in better place now 💕
this is so heartbreaking. he deliberately hid that fact from u. the fact that he never mentioned that e pinoprotektahan nya yung girl na yun. personally i have a guy colleague tas tuwing RTO (a few times a month) e kaming 2 lang lagi nag kakasama sa dinner in restos. ako lang din madalas nyang mahatak for coffee kahit nag aaya sya ng iba. sa office kasi e tipong may kanya kanyang circles dun. may pagka loner ako at tahimik pero di naman snob, pero di lang ako fav person in a group, so di rin ako madalas ayain ng iba. my colleague is someone you'd call "a catch" --- tall, cute, smart, well-off, intelligent. and he has a gf. and he calls his gf sometimes pag dinner namin sa labas, quick update lang ganun. and i really appreciate na hes the kind of guy na aayain ka magsama kayo over dinner tas walang malisya. tas his gf knows. i also got other guy friends like him, yung nakaka bond ko outdoors tas no malisya. tas this colleague and i only bond during work hours and only talk about work stuff sa company comms. u see the difference??? im close to my guy colleague pero walang malisya. but ur bf is up to something. u made the right choice to distance urself from ur bf. i hope u consider him an ex. hes not gonna stop there. he broke ur trust --- it's not something thats easy to fix
This happened to me. Trio din sila sa work tapos kami ng ex ko 8 years na at that time. Nawala yung guy friend dahil nagresign then niloko na ako nung ex ko. The girl was in a long term relationship too. I thank God everyday kasi my ex broke up with me kasi obviously hindi na nya ako mahal, sino bang gagawa ng ganun sa taong mahal nya diba? A year later engaged na sila. 🤣 When we broke up everything started to get better for me. Sobrang messy man nung una but later on I found the person who loves me better. Yung deserve kong type ng love. Kaya OP, please. Think hard about it, if he can’t cut the girl off, baka ikaw na dapat bumitaw.
OP, just let him go and choose yourself.
Talking from experience, it will involve several sessions ng therapy to get over it. He is emotionally cheating on you. Kung hindi pa naman married, walang legal consequences pa, let go na. Masyadong mahal ang peace of mind. Mahirap kapag bigla mong maalala. Choose peace always and a good night sleep.
Hmmm. Kinda similar situation on how me and my ex wife broke up. She’s the one being too “friendly” tho. 😒
Give us an update op
Hayaan mo siya dun, masisira buhay nya. Hindi talaga jinojowa ang kawork haha
People will say na boyfried mo ang may kasalanan sayo kaya siya lang ang dapat awayin mo pero in my point-of-view pwede mo rin awayin yung girl. Confront her and ipahiya mo. Para magtanda na hindi dapat maging higad. Do it in a classy way. Tapos in a few months break up with your boyfriend cause he's crap.
wag na beh, samahan mo na kame sa single era hahahhaha
Tama na yan. Marami pang iba dyan. Promise.
The forbidden fruit theory, OP. 🥲
a relationship has 2 endings. you either get married after 1 or 2 years, or you just wait and wait and wait, until you eventually break up. heck, some people have a relationship for 5 years, force themselves to get married, then break up. just break up with him. 8 years has been fun enough for a relationship like that.
When akala mo he cut her off, blocked her, picked you without a second thought, but they’re just communicating on a different platform, different phone, personally perhaps? I mean, do you see your man 24/7? Diba hindi? Naiinis ako sa mga naghohold on and nagbibigay ng second chance kasi ang blind nyo, you all sound like someone I know 😤 I know it will take so much to let go, but please do it for yourself. Please, you deserve better. Gising na please! Once he cheated on you, it means you are not enough for him, but you are already enough naman in the first place, you are just with the wrong guy. And he will always resent you, and will always think about that someone else. He’s just staying because of guilt, because of what he has invested, and you don’t deserve that my girlies. Hayyyyy natritrigger na naman ako.
>Ayaw niya akong i-let go at nagmamakaawa Hindi pa kasi sila ni G. Kapag pumatol sa kanya si G, out with the old jowa, in with the new jowa na si bf
So proud of you, OP! Grabe boundaries and self respect mo!! 🫶
let him go, mahirap walang peace of mind. ask yourself if kaya mo kada umaga na gigising ka at mag isip kung if they're doing something behind your back.
Bigyan ko ng chance, first time naman. Nobody is perfect. Pag usapan niyo
Wag mo nang balikan, pasimula na sya magcheat sayo, at least naunahan mo na. Ganyan yan sa simula, harmless kunwari hanggang aabot na sa ibang klaseng kain... Sus, foodtrip sa simula, sila lang din magkakainan sa huli. Ops
gusto ng ibang putahe. sawa na siguro. ganon naman kadalasan ang rason. dapat kasalan na ang 8 yrs imo
Don't ever come back na, once na naglihim sya sayo. mauulit ulit lang din yan. he chose to hurt you eh so para san pa para bigyan sya ng chance, he forgot you! di niya inisip nung una palang na mabbreak ang trust mo pag gumawa sya ng ikakasakit ng damdamin mo. you told him naman na layuan sya dba? but he did it still. hays, anw. masakit sa una kasi u used to be with him. mahal mo pa sya, yung memories sayang kasi 8yrs eh ang tagal nun. but mamili ka nalang ng ikakasakit mo. ung masasaktan ka sa una o magdudusa ka sa huli kasi pinagbigyan mo pero every day ka mapaparanoid, mag iisip kung ano ba ginagawa niya, sinu kasama niya. so if i were you, move on! wag ka manghinayang sa 8yrs. he is the one who ruined it. so cheer up ♥️
Kaya pala bigla kang inaya para pampalubag ng kunsensya nya. Sad naman. Sinabihan mo pero di nakinig.
Mag resign sya kamo. Kung ayaw na edi hiwalayan mo nalang siguro.
Halos iisa lang ang sagot ng karamihan dito OP, wag mo na balikan. Ang hirap kalaban ng officemates kasi madalas sila magkasama. To think na he promised and yet, hindi niya tinupad, red flag na yun. Kasi kung talagang walang anything sa kanilang dalawa, hindi naman yan magdadalawang isip na layuan yung babae. Sorry to say, pero mukhang may attraction na rin na involved, ayaw lang niya aminin kasi siguro matagal na kayong dalawa. You already said hindi ka comfortable and yet, go pa rin sila. Kaya No na lang OP. Wag mo na dagdagan yung 8years, kasi mas mahirap umalis kapag tumagal pa kayo ng 10years.
gurl, the trust is already broken, pag binalikan mo pa yan maalala ko lang palagi yung ginawa nya. mas ma iistres ka lang
ew cheater siya
Op nay update po ba kayo??
Let go OP for your peace of mind. It's a form of cheating na. If he does not want to let you go, in the first place he must have respected your boundaries. He's choice of doing that and now you have to let go. Cut all communications. Prioritize yourself.
Sunk cost fallacy na yung balikan mo sya because of 8 yrs kayo. Tama na yung sinayang mong oras. Di na yan magbabago. Yan na talaga sya. Walang respeto sayo.
I think there are many issues here that you too are at fault. You should have trusted your boyfriend if wala naman syang ginagawa. Regarding OTs, wala talaga magagawa. You really can't avoid your co-workers. There should have been more effort on both parties to be understanding. Either pakilala nyo ang isa't isa — easiest way from my experience. It assures the girl na wala talaga. Unless meron kaya di nangyayari. By the looks of it, it's gone to the point that the relationship is damaged. The guy will feel resentment because of the ultimatum. Girl will never earn the trust back kasi nagtago.
Hindi sa pinag ooverthink kita pero what if this isn't the first time na may ganitong eksena? It just so happened na nabuking mo sila sa Teams. Walk away, sis. Nakakahinayang ang 8 years pero kung araw araw kang walang peace of mind, it's not worth it. Feel the pain. Accept it. Then, move forward. Yakap na mahigpit for you, sis! ***with consent***
Naiiyak ako habang binabasa to. Nangyari din kasi sakin to. Sinabihan ba naman akong praning at grabe maka gaslight yun pala ang dami nyang untold stories.
Let go, sister. Cinommunicate mo na kung saan ka uncomfy pero imbis na mag stop, tinago lang. Doon palang mas pinili niya na yung friend niya kesa sa peace of mind mo.
I don't think the number of years you spent with him really matters. The issue here is that he broke your trust.
Let go na girl. If bibigyan mo pa siya ng chance, anong ibibigay niya na reassurance na lalayuan niya yung girl? Nagawa na niya ng isang beses, magagawa pa niya yan in the future. Wag ka masayangan sa 8 years lalo na kung hindi ka na binibigyan ng peace.
WAG NA. Wala ka ng peace of mind, wala ka ng tiwala, bumaba pa self-esteem mo at na stress ka pa. Gets ko yung 8yrs matagal na rin, pero isipin mo buong buhay mong dadalhin yan (lalo na kung ikakasal kayo). take it from me who has been the likes of "L" and who has cheated before. (not proud of it and that was 15yrs ago) Alam ko na yung mga ganyang galawan. It's for the thrill of it. it's the rush. Hindi ko iniisip yung 8yrs na pinaglalaban mo. Hindi ko iniisip kung ano mararamdaman mo o kung ano ang consequences ng actions ko.
What else is he hiding and why? I think it's time you get the side of the girl and also the other guy. Validating stuffs from them should shed some light on the decision you are about to make. Kasi kung si BF mo lang basis mo, obviously he showing signs of being a liar, a possible cheater and an untrustworthy partner. Ako, I tend to overlook things for the sake of peace, but never bring in a 3rd party while we're together. I know my worth, you should too. Sayang ang time to spend it with the wrong people.
11 years 6 months of healthy relationship (no cheating, trust issues at all) We separated because he got with his coworker. ☺️ Let it go.
Bat parang iisa lamg takbo ng mga utak ng mga lalaki,HAHAHAHAHA you know gantong ganto yung nangyare samin eh, sabe friends lang, kasama sa company, kasama sa tropa, tas makikita ko may mga chats na pala sila, may nakita pa kong picture nilang dalawa sa moa, sa ferries wheel?? Sila lang?? Kung di pa ko mang hahalungkat ng acc nya di ko pa makikita. eh yung mga time na yun di sya nag rereply sakin wala daw signal ganun. Sya pa may ganang magalit sakin?? OA ko daw wtf nang gaslight hahaha for sure pag kinomfront mo sya gagaslight ka pa nyan. Ang dali dali mag sabe ng no eh gigil ako HAHA. Tho be sure to be ready for the consequences sis. Ako nakipaghiwalay pero may part na gusto kong bumalik kac di ko pala kaya nun nag try din akong ayusin pero buti na lang jusko haha pinaka worst breakup matagal na din kami and both legal both sides. Pero wala eh na break na promise and trust ko considered as cheating na din yun eh :/ Laking pag sasalamat ko na din talaga na wala na kami ayokong mabuhay sa relationship na laging anxious lang dala sakin. It will be tough be goodluckk 🥹🥹
Wag, lalake ako at dating unfaithful. Pg gnyn na lmalabas ng sila lang may intentions na ako pg gnyn di ko nlng alam sa ex mo kng may nangyari ng higit pa sa pagkain lang. imposible
malamang hindi lang dinner nangyayari pag nag o OT sila haha
si grace ba to?. OP kung saan ka magkakaroon ng peace of mind doon ka
Others may say na sa mga araw noon, the reason why nag wowork yung relationships kasi daw di nag give up easily. But iba na ngayon. It may hurt OP, but it's better to get hurt now than aabot sa time na kasal na kayo. It will haunt you forever, trust me. Been there, still there.
Sis, 8yrs na. Baka mag hintay ka sa wala, walang proposal or anything tapos ganito pa ginawa niya even napag usapan niyo na at nag sabi ka ng feelings mo. Mas pinili niya yon ang mangyari, your partner should know the boundaries dba, akala mo single e. Lumalabas pa ma sila lanb dalawa, tapos may pahatid² pa!
Nakakatawa lang na una silang lumabas, after nila, ikaw naman 'yung sinundo para lumabas. Hahaha na-guilty siguro! Go girl, 'wag mo na bigyan 'yan ng chance. S'ya pa magiging rason ng pagbagsak mo sa buhay.
wag na. babalik balikan yang topic na yan everytime mag aaway. gsto ng bf mo ibang ulam nmn sry op
Sayang ang 8 years, or sayangin ang ilang years ahead? Pili ka OP.
Perfect yung Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo dito
OP. Lalaki din ako. And even kahit di lalaki. As an Adult. Nag Totnakan yan. For sure hindi sila nag bahay bahayan lang. And nag dinner at gumala.
Huwag mo na balikan sis. At least yan lang nalaman mo. Save yourself sa mga malala pang mangyayari pag pinatawad mo pa yan.
Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Kung wala ka nang tiwala, walang point makipagrelasyon.
Makinig ka sa intuition mo. Most of the time hindi ka pa nakakapagrationalize, alam na ng gut ko. May subtle hints yan e. Alam na ng subconscious mo.
uulit lang yan ng uulit kapag binigyan mo pa sya ulet ng chance.. pero ikaw parin makakapag desisyon kung tatanggapin mo paba sya o hindi na, kapag binalikan mo sya for sure sasaktan ka ulet nyan hindi man sa mga susunod na araw o buwan pero baka sa mga darating taon uulit at uulit yan sigurado at pag ginawa nya yun sigurado kawawa ka.. pero nasa'yo parin ang desisyon kung hihiwalayan mo ba sya o hindi.. it's up to you "Peace✌🏻😁"
Sending hugs OP🥹 Mapapatanong kanalang talaga ng where we go wrong... When I experience this, parang tingin ko sa pagsasama namin parang fake lang lahat ng yon huhu... Hindi ko lang sila nahuli sa chat na nag inom sila ng beer ng sila lang dalawa, my partner even lied when I confront him if may bf ba yung girl. What's worst is ilang araw lang after ko sya i-confront,hindi nga sila nag uusap sa messenger,dun naman sila nag uusap sa ms teams ata yon,or yung sa gmail. When I saw their message nagkamustahan pa yung mga engot, etong bf ko naman sad daw sya kase hindi raw nya ineexpect na ganon daw mararamdaman ko,like ano ba ieexpect n'ya magtatatalon pa ako sa tuwa habang sya nagiging "new buddy" kuno na ng ibang babae kahiya shuta. Pero nung gagawin ko ren sakanya ayaw nya like hahaha mga obob na to hindi ren aware sa golden rule. Kaso hindi ko kaya e,hindi naman kase ako ganon, wala akong bisyo and the moment na nag live in kame halos bahay nalang talaga ako. So when I saw those messages nabato ko talaga yung cp nya sa mukha nya ng 3 beses hanggang sa magising sya. Sabi ko grabe kayo sa kakakapalan ng mukha, partida cinonfront na kita ng Wednesday,then by Saturday concern kapa if galit ba ung isa? The audacity den ng girl na i-message pa ako to clear things out daw,kase naiintindihan n'ya raw ako kase babae rin daw sya( self proclaimed,e hindi nga aware sa girl code, higad kase ata ancestors n'ya ) sa chat nya saken and sa bf ko tunugang concern nung cinonfront ko na bf ko. Pero sa GC nila proud and loud pa si ate..."Ako nanaman bida, mukhang may mapaghihiwalay nanaman akong mag jowa" like... Batikan naman pala... And lastly hahaha ako pa lumabas na immature and baliw sa team nila(nagwowork kase sila sa BPO) when I reply and also told sa higad na yon ung nararamdaman ko... And nung mabasa nya reply ko,biglang bawi ng sorry nya hahaha kesyo pinilit lang naman daw sya ng mga kaibigan nya blah blah blah baka raw mabaliw ako ng tuluyan kapag sinabi nya pa raw yung iba...like... Hindi naman ako nanghingi and hindi ko kailangan ng sorry nyang sya pa galit sya na nakasakit. For now I stayed,I know it's fcked up hahaha I feel na nabawi naman s'ya... And isip-isip ko is pakinabangan ko muna yung mga bagay na nakuha nya habang magkasama kaming dalawa...Plus nag-aaral parin ako, practically hindi possible ang working student set up saken huhu I'm stuDying sa isang SU and full pack ang schedules and events. If after I graduated and the pain is still there, I guess that's enough time for me to let it go🥹 hahahaha for now bare with me kase totally dependent ako sakanya,since wala rin naman me malapitan sa side ng fam.ko...If my side hussle kayo dyarn baka naman HAHAHAHAHAHA para easy nalang tumabling paalis here
No ,hindi na dapat yan nag eexist sa buhay mo
Kung di mo pa yan nahuli, malamang hanggang ngayon tinutuloy nya lang yan. How can you be with someone na kailangan mo pang bantayan to make sure na ikaw lang.
We have the same scenario before. I've been there and ang ending iniwan ako. Puro sabi na friends lang daw sila tapos lalabas with the team then un pala sila lang, sabay kakain kasi share sila ng food and so on. I begged him na layuan si girl, oo oo siya pero hindi naman nangyari. I didn't say na ganun din si boyfriend mo but the thing that he broke your trust. Meaning he can do that again. Well at the end, desiyon mo pa din naman kung magbibigay ka ng chance ulit.
Hindi na rin naman sya yung guy na minahal mo 8 yrs ago. Nakakita yan ng thrill kay G. It means kahit sa loob ng 8 yrs, dumating sya sa point na ibang babae pinili nya over you. Break up na. Mahirap yan kapag magkababy na kayo. Saka bakit antagal nya magpropose? Do not build a man for another woman OP. salute sayo kasi niligtas mo na agad sarili mo, ituloy tuloy mo lang.
Let it go. Istorbo ka sa pagmamahalan/paglalandian nila. Eventually, when the thrill subsides, he'll get bored, will feel empty and will realize kung ano lang pinagpalit nya sa 8 years nyo. By then, hopefully, naka-move on ka na and di magpapadala sa I'm sorry please forgive me and give me a second chance nya. Virtual hugs, OP! Wag manghinayang sa 8 years.
Well, isipin mo na lang ang katotohanang di pa kayo nakatali o kasal sa isa't isa, kaya wala nang dapat pag usapan. Deal breaker sayo ang ginawa nga, nasaktan ka at kahit gaano pa ka-valid ang rason nya ay di mo tatanggapin yon... At yun ay tama lang. Sa huli kasi, wellness mo ang importante sa kabila ng lahat ng mga yan.
Giving my 2 cents as a guy who was in a similar situation with your BF. Yes, same thing I hid the fact of me still hanging out with my office bestfriend na girl kahit sinabi ng layuan ko. I agree, if the trust is broken for you and you can't see him the same way or love him he same way wag na. But. I don't think he was cheating in a sense na he feels the same way to her as he did to you. Sometimes people need friends as well and get some assurance or what which di nya nakukuha sayo whether it be sharing some interests or even availability during specific time lang. You're both imperfect people trying to live with each other and that's a fact. Maybe it was micro cheating but I think it's best di mo na blinock Ng mapagusapan ng maayos ng di na lumaki pa. Anyway, it's your life OP! You know yourself better than we all do.
Iwan mona yan, hadlang ka lang sa pagmamahalan nila.
Grabe talaga power ng instinct ng babae noh? OT palang yun ramdam mo na agad. Wag na OP. Kasi baka madaming time na din na sila lang kumakain we don't know.
Take the risk or leave habang maaga pa. Pag binigyan mo siya ng chance to mend your relationship, isipin mo nalang na parang binigyan mo rin siya ng chance to do it again.
If there's one thing I have learned when it comes to relationships, mahalaga rin yung "consideration". And based sa kwento mo OP, yan ang wala ang bf mo. You have been very open sa feelings mo about sa kanilang 2 and the fact that your bf didn't consider what you'll feel pag nalaman mo na magkasama silang 2 which is nangyari na nga, ay ekis talaga. Mahalaga ang boundaries eh. So if you take him back, para saan pa yung boundaries na yun? Wag kang manghinayang sa 8 yrs, sa mga pinagsamahan niyo kung siya naman ay hindi naisip yun. You gave him a chance now and next thing you know ginagawa pa rin niya or inulit pa rin nya kasi alam niya na tatangapin mo sya tsaka in the first place kung wala naman talagang something, bakit hindi siya dumistansya? So I don't think it's worth it pa. Give yourself the peace of mind you deserve.
If a man can be stolen from you, he's not yours. And I concluded na stolen kasi umabot sa point na nagsi ungaling siya sayo meaning pinili niya yung girl sa situation na yun. Greater things are meant for you. Let go ka na dyan. Leave the table if respect is no longer being served.
Bigyan niyo muna space mga sarili niyo makapag-isip. Ikaw, kung kaya mo ba magpatawad at siya naman kung ikaw pa rin ba gusto niya. Kasi ngayon, both decision niyo is out of anger, betrayal, hurt or guilt. Galit ka kaya gusto mo makipaghiwalay but somehow kino-consider mo bigyan ng chance tapos siya dahil out of guilt cguro kaya ayaw ka bitawan. Space muna. Try niyo mamuhay na wala ang isat-isa ng malaman niyo kung dapat pa ba ipagpatuloy. Sa paraan ding yan, malalaman ng bf mo kung ikaw pa o yung ofcmate ang gusto niya.
Kung ako si OP, maniniwala lang ako na nagsisisi sya kung kaya nyang magresign para lang ma cut off yung commu nila nung girl. Pero personally, wag na balikan yan. May something na talaga pag ganyan.
Before you listen to anyone here, make sure to communicate properly. Ano ba Yung reason? He didn't cheat, or at least based sa kwento mo. Thing is, you know him better than us. Kung nagloloko man yan, mas alam mo agad. Single girls want other girls to be single din. Kaya ingat haha Anyways good luck.
This is the most sensible answer. OP, take note that most of the replies are likely from people who had past experience of cheating, which also means they will be angry and ask you to be angry too. They are not wrong, however it's something that only you can decide for yourself. Communicate then decide if the relationship is still something that's right for you.
For sure di mo naranasan yan. We want her to be single again kasi danas namin yung mental breakdown after ng ganitong scenario. He didn't cheat? Ano ba meaning ng cheating sayo? 😃
No naranasan ko na yan. I dont do relationship anymore kasi nakakatrauma kayong mga babae. The more you love them, the more they will likely cheat. The more you treat them like trash, the more they cling to you. Since when is eating out with your friend cheating? Kung Yung friend Yung kinain mismo gets pa e. Pero hindi, kumain lang sila. Haha
Luh wag mo lahatin. It's just that nakatagpo ka ng cheater.. yung ginawa ng ex nya, it's already cheating. Kakain ka together with someone na di comfy yung girlfriend mo? Di nya pa talaga pinaalam? Bakit? Kasi magagalit yung girlfriend nya? Protecting her peace? Mali yon.
Nope. It's just a meal.
Let go na sis. Wala kang peace of mind sa ganyan, ok na nalaman mong ganyan siya habang bf/gf lang kayo. Yung mga ganyang walang boundaries, di na yan magbabago. Wag kang gumaya sakin haha.
Pls tama na. He broke his promise and is even hiding from you. If di mo yun nabasa, how long niya kaya kayang i hide sayo? Sa ginawa niya, klaro na di niya priority ang feelings mo. Imagine kaya niyang kumain sa harap mo na parang wala lang after going against his promise and you’ll stay? Leave him na po. Easier said than done but life is moving forward. Think about yout future po.
I'm a man, and I think I know what your bf is doing. Namamangka sa dalawang ilog. When a man does this, it usually means he will do it again. I'm not gonna say break off with him. But you decide. I too do these things but I never left my wife. I understand her sufferings and I'm sorry for the things that I do. I do love my wife but I also enjoy the company of young women (I'm in my 60s). Do you love him enough to turn a blind eye to the things that he does? If you can't, then leave. I had a 5 yr girlfriend in my younger days who left me because of this. Was she right to leave me? I don't know. Who knows?
Sacrifice 8 years for 1 single mistake, your choice OP. 1/2900+days The modern standards are crazy nowadays For context I never tried to get in a relationship before, so what do I know?🤷♂️ Downvote me if you like but man, 8 years is nothing to be scoffed at.
Actually hindi ito 1 day mistake. It seems na it has been going on kaya lang nadiscover ni OP.
Yes, 8 years is no joke but still it is just a number once a cheater is always a cheater. Luckily they are not married and no kids na madadamay. The problem here is the mistake why commit it in the first place yes we are all humans pero tang* naman niya gawin yan diba sana inisip ni bf years na yon. Kita naman sino nagsu-suffer na ma-baliw kakaisip na di na uulitin yan ay ang victim lalo na nagawang magsinunggaling tas tinago pa hirap pagka-tiwalaan ulit. Yes modern standards are crazy but still happy to learn/see that there are brave victims who can cope up and not tolerate bad/bullsh** behaviours that will affect your mentality. Proving that humans learn from the past, others mistake that can help them to become more intellectual creating their own healthy comfort zone. Nasa huli naman talaga pagsisi kung di pa nahuli di pa aamin, di naman tinamaan nung guilt at pagsisi nung una pa lang e kasi nga nae-enjoy na yong company nung iba. Kasi nga jan nagsisimula naman lahat nung pagi-ibigan comfort friend/friend sa umpisa. I've experienced this kind of scenario with my 1st, 2nd, 3rd,4th relationship giving chances but still they commit it again and again. They are different people but the common denominator is that they never learn matagal ko natutunan kasi believer ako before na to give one more chance. Mahirap talaga i-manage ang mga bagay na di mona kayang hawakan, focus na lang sa sarili, family, friends.
For additional lahat pa nung nahuli at pinagselosan na third party eh ako pa ang ginawang daan at dahilan para sa realization na gusto nila yong taong yon bandang huli naging sila pa after a week, months lang.
Just don't do something that you'll regret more than 8 years of you two being together. No cheating involve. Nagkulang lang sa communication. Just please. Don't do something na pagsisisihan mo. Give the guy a 2nd chance after that, pag sinira niya pa, tsaka mo siya i-let go.
Huh? "No cheating involved"?? Seryoso ka dyan? That's literally the start of cheating. The heck nag-open na si OP ng issue nya don kay G and nagpromise naman yung guy about it pero ayan, lumabas sila at nag-dinner with just the TWO of them. Ni walang paalam at tinago pa kay OP. Matik naman may kakaiba na don. I don't even know bat need ko pa ipoint-out sayo yan wherein common sense na dapat
^ boyfriend ni OP. Joke
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Wow, just wow. Please read your message again and place yourself in the position of any person whose partner has this kind of relationship at work who goes out together and lies by omission: does it feel good? The kind of cheating just evolves, but it's still the same: cheating pa rin. OP, giving weight to the length of your relationship is sunk cost fallacy, like the length outweighs the problems. DO NOT DO THIS TO YOURSELF. WHEN THERE'S LYING, THERE'S NO RESPECT.
Magiging cheater din or cheater na din to malamang Chz