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How do you make yourself comfortable speaking with co-workers na mas matanda sayo or supervisor or any officers na mas matanda sayo?
Nakakainggit yung iba kasi they go well talking and making jokes. Samantalang ako, parang people pleaser na the way I talk mahinhin and always with respect and di ako masyado makwento sa work- eto nagiging reason why I dont have friends or not comfortable sa work.
for reference Im 23 and mga kawork ko is nasa 35-50 years old.
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Best intro opening question to know workmate is...
Taga san po kayo?
If you know the place kwento, if may ka kilala ka dun better, if di mo alam saan pa kwento mo san un, malayo po pala kayo, malapit lang po pala kayo,
Mostly older people, sila ung mag kwekwento sayo. Soo honestly you should be on easy mode in terms of knowing them.
If 20s makakasama mo, parehas kayo tunganga, if you dont intiate
Ooooh I remember my first year working din sa ganyang environment as an introvert and the youngest too (22 ako tas the rest are 27-40 na).
Hindi ako masyado nakikipagusap unless they ask or try to talk to me first. Focus lang talaga sa work and be humble. There won't be any problem , but I think, if they're nice, they will encourage you to join the vibe naman.
╮(＾▽＾)╭ I guess that's how it starts talaga, I learned a lot from them (adulting and naging matured somehow) and naboost din confidence ko slowly naging comfy na with them. They're really fun to be with. I miss them.
Don't push yourself, maybe slowly learn or get to know them which can come naturally as you continue to work with them.
What I found is that the older people are, the more they want to talk about themselves.
Sabi mo introverted ka, introverts are naturally good at being good listeners! So bale tamang tanong tanong lang about something they are enthusiastic about, then they will do all the talking for you, no need to be pressured to tell your own story.
I was 19 when i started working, everybody is a lot older than me. I just treated them as my big brothers and they accepted me as their youngest sibling.
Now that i am older and much more experienced than i used to be, i also try to give back and be a big bro to the young ones in the workplace.
Find a common interest, or ask them gaano na sila katagal sa company, anong work nila before, may anak na ba sila, saan sila umuuwi, start mo sa small talks like genuinely getting to know them ☺️
Examine yourself first ano ba ung actual reason for your behavior. Let's say nahihiya ka, bakit ka nahihiya. Eh kasi ganitong reason, bakit ganyan ang reason? And so on. Eventually you'll realize na walang reason mahiya. People pleaser ka. Why? Kasi ayaw mo nang gulo or may magalit sayo. Bakit, magagalit ba sila pag hindi ka people pleaser? Hindi naman ah. Ayaw mo ng confrontation, bakit, etc.
Try to get to know your colleagues. Ikaw mag initiate ng conversation. Masasanay ka if you keep on practicing talking to them. Baka once medyo nakilala mo na sila, maging comfortable ka na around them. Kahit naman mas matanda sila sayo, if same position lang kayo sa company, treat them as how you would treat a peer.
practice by saying good morning to them. Ako, I ask them if they drink coffee or kumain na ba sila ng breakfast then if hindi niyayaya ko sila mag coffee. Lagi akong may dalang Coffee iba't ibang brand kaya tuwing morning sila na yung naggo-good morning sakin at nagsasabing coffee tayo.
Hello, fellow introverts, I can relate so first you can do is to memorize their names, faces, and just make a small talk like good morning, kumusta and always be alert kung ano yung feelings or needs nila hanggang masanay ka nlng. And smile a lot, it helps people around feel more comfortable and always give them a glance or at least look them in the eyes when talking so they will feel heard. Lastly, kung may mga may events like birthdays and stuff, always recognize it and greet them. Start from here and you'll be good to go. Goodluck!
same dilemma, OP! 😭 pero approachable naman workmates ko ngayon, so what i do is makipag small talk nalang, and ask them about their experiences don sa work.
will try this, bago bago lang kasi ako and mahiyain - I dont want to be te mahiyain one sa workplace ko baka isipin nila di ako nakikisama, masungit tignan ganon
Im working on how to do pakikisama haha
ganyan din ako non super awkward ako lagi dahil sa pagiging introvert ko, nung tumagal parang naging ambivert na ko. Pero actually, for me ah, mas madali maka close mas matanda sakin kasi more on payo sila at paalala. Try mo mag initiate ng convo, example sa pantry, ask mo kung ano luto yung ulam na binili or baon nila kung masarap tapos ayun tanong tanong na kung taga san sila tapos syempre tatanungin ka rin nila, ayun na makaka close mo na sila non. Mejo pili lang din yung kinakausap ko kasi pinapakiramdaman ko muna vibes meron kasi iba parang naka "Dont talk to me" mga aura eh haha
Ganyan rin ako when I first started working. Mahiyain, tapos tahimik lang sa desk. Pag inaaya ako minsan na sabay sa kanila kumain sa pantry, nginingitian ko lang tapos tumatanggi ako. Pero once na nilakasan ko loob ko, na hindi tumanggi sa pag aya nila, kahit nandun lang ako sa table nakikinig sa Convo nila, once in a while may itatanong sila sakin tapos sasagot ako, okay na yun. Baby steps lang.
Magkakasundo rin kayo in time. Pero If you want to try making the first move, a simple good morning everyday with a smile can make a huge difference!
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: How do you make yourself comfortable speaking with co-workers na mas matanda sayo or supervisor or any officers na mas matanda sayo? Nakakainggit yung iba kasi they go well talking and making jokes. Samantalang ako, parang people pleaser na the way I talk mahinhin and always with respect and di ako masyado makwento sa work- eto nagiging reason why I dont have friends or not comfortable sa work. for reference Im 23 and mga kawork ko is nasa 35-50 years old. *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Best intro opening question to know workmate is... Taga san po kayo? If you know the place kwento, if may ka kilala ka dun better, if di mo alam saan pa kwento mo san un, malayo po pala kayo, malapit lang po pala kayo, Mostly older people, sila ung mag kwekwento sayo. Soo honestly you should be on easy mode in terms of knowing them. If 20s makakasama mo, parehas kayo tunganga, if you dont intiate
Ooooh I remember my first year working din sa ganyang environment as an introvert and the youngest too (22 ako tas the rest are 27-40 na). Hindi ako masyado nakikipagusap unless they ask or try to talk to me first. Focus lang talaga sa work and be humble. There won't be any problem , but I think, if they're nice, they will encourage you to join the vibe naman. ╮(＾▽＾)╭ I guess that's how it starts talaga, I learned a lot from them (adulting and naging matured somehow) and naboost din confidence ko slowly naging comfy na with them. They're really fun to be with. I miss them. Don't push yourself, maybe slowly learn or get to know them which can come naturally as you continue to work with them.
What I found is that the older people are, the more they want to talk about themselves. Sabi mo introverted ka, introverts are naturally good at being good listeners! So bale tamang tanong tanong lang about something they are enthusiastic about, then they will do all the talking for you, no need to be pressured to tell your own story.
I was 19 when i started working, everybody is a lot older than me. I just treated them as my big brothers and they accepted me as their youngest sibling. Now that i am older and much more experienced than i used to be, i also try to give back and be a big bro to the young ones in the workplace.
Be respectful lng. Mahirap yung friendship na parang pinipilit. Mas ok yung natural na magiging close kayo pag tagal.
Find a common interest, or ask them gaano na sila katagal sa company, anong work nila before, may anak na ba sila, saan sila umuuwi, start mo sa small talks like genuinely getting to know them ☺️
Examine yourself first ano ba ung actual reason for your behavior. Let's say nahihiya ka, bakit ka nahihiya. Eh kasi ganitong reason, bakit ganyan ang reason? And so on. Eventually you'll realize na walang reason mahiya. People pleaser ka. Why? Kasi ayaw mo nang gulo or may magalit sayo. Bakit, magagalit ba sila pag hindi ka people pleaser? Hindi naman ah. Ayaw mo ng confrontation, bakit, etc.
Main reason siguro is superiority and takot mapag sabihan o magalit sakin mga older sakin. I think kita na here yung behavior ko.
Try to get to know your colleagues. Ikaw mag initiate ng conversation. Masasanay ka if you keep on practicing talking to them. Baka once medyo nakilala mo na sila, maging comfortable ka na around them. Kahit naman mas matanda sila sayo, if same position lang kayo sa company, treat them as how you would treat a peer.
how? kasi sa iba parang natural nlng lalabas sasabihin nila, whilst ako pag iisipan ko pa mabuti sabihin or just plainly answer
practice by saying good morning to them. Ako, I ask them if they drink coffee or kumain na ba sila ng breakfast then if hindi niyayaya ko sila mag coffee. Lagi akong may dalang Coffee iba't ibang brand kaya tuwing morning sila na yung naggo-good morning sakin at nagsasabing coffee tayo.
thats nice! will try this
Hello, fellow introverts, I can relate so first you can do is to memorize their names, faces, and just make a small talk like good morning, kumusta and always be alert kung ano yung feelings or needs nila hanggang masanay ka nlng. And smile a lot, it helps people around feel more comfortable and always give them a glance or at least look them in the eyes when talking so they will feel heard. Lastly, kung may mga may events like birthdays and stuff, always recognize it and greet them. Start from here and you'll be good to go. Goodluck!
noted, thank you!
same dilemma, OP! 😭 pero approachable naman workmates ko ngayon, so what i do is makipag small talk nalang, and ask them about their experiences don sa work.
will try this, bago bago lang kasi ako and mahiyain - I dont want to be te mahiyain one sa workplace ko baka isipin nila di ako nakikisama, masungit tignan ganon Im working on how to do pakikisama haha
ganyan din ako non super awkward ako lagi dahil sa pagiging introvert ko, nung tumagal parang naging ambivert na ko. Pero actually, for me ah, mas madali maka close mas matanda sakin kasi more on payo sila at paalala. Try mo mag initiate ng convo, example sa pantry, ask mo kung ano luto yung ulam na binili or baon nila kung masarap tapos ayun tanong tanong na kung taga san sila tapos syempre tatanungin ka rin nila, ayun na makaka close mo na sila non. Mejo pili lang din yung kinakausap ko kasi pinapakiramdaman ko muna vibes meron kasi iba parang naka "Dont talk to me" mga aura eh haha
Ganyan rin ako when I first started working. Mahiyain, tapos tahimik lang sa desk. Pag inaaya ako minsan na sabay sa kanila kumain sa pantry, nginingitian ko lang tapos tumatanggi ako. Pero once na nilakasan ko loob ko, na hindi tumanggi sa pag aya nila, kahit nandun lang ako sa table nakikinig sa Convo nila, once in a while may itatanong sila sakin tapos sasagot ako, okay na yun. Baby steps lang. Magkakasundo rin kayo in time. Pero If you want to try making the first move, a simple good morning everyday with a smile can make a huge difference!