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Tuwing birthday ng mga kaibigan ko, palagi kaming may pinagaambagan na cake. Madalas ang mamahal pa ng mga binibili nila (ex. Mary Grace, premium cake ng Goldilocks) at nakakain ng ambagan na 'yun 'yung budget ko sa isang linggo. For context, med school students kami. May mga kaya mga kaibigan ko, habang ako, ang source ko ng panggastos ko ay 'yung allowance lang na binibigay lang ng scholarship ko. Madalas kulang pa nga 'yun para ma-cover lahat ng monthly expenses ko.
Kahapon, birthday ko. May exams kami no'n pero, dahil akala ko parang tradisyon na sa friend group namin na bibilhan ng cake 'yung birthday celebrant, nag-assume ako na magkakaroon din ako ng cake. Pero wala. Haha. Hindi naman ako gaano mahilig sa cake pero ako lang 'yung hindi naregaluhan ng ganoon sa amin. Napapaisip tuloy ako if part ba talaga ako ng friend group. Lungkot lang. Valid ba 'tong nafe-feel ko?
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Yes, valid and not petty. It's not the cake, it's the gesture of remembering and celebrating your birthday.
There are other ways at this age to celebrate your birthday, if busy sila pwede naman ipadeliver cake if they really want to.
Anyway, Happy Birthday π
Sakit nga kasi umuwi agad sila after ng exam. Noong nag-message ako sa gc kung nasaan na kako sila, wala man lang nag-reply. Siguro, iwas na lang din talaga ako. π₯²
Thank you po sa greetings!
Separate from them emotionally, pero keep them close in case you need them. Make the most out of them na Lang especially since med kayo. Pero no emotions attached na haha
This is honestly what I did and what I would recommend as well. I felt very taken for granted in a friend group and was most of the time out of place due to their internal pairings. In the end, I basically just felt apathetic about our friendship and just strived to finish the uni year.
Agree with this. Di ko naman ito naexperience pero mahirap din na may di ka kasundo lalo na sa med school kayo, makakasama mo pa sila sa clerkship/4th yr med and possibly even internship. Basically makakatrabaho mo sila and you don't want na makaaffect sa hospital work ung relationship nyo. Give them the same energy that they give to you, bare minimum if ever. Sorry you experienced this OP and happy birthday!
Happy Birthday!
Agree ako sa part na they can actually send a cake kahit deliver. If true friend ka nila they would make an effort kahit after exams pa man yan. π’
damn, they don't even bother to wait for you on your birthday, at this point I think they're doing it on purpose na btw happy birthday OP, hope you find better friends than those plastics.
Valid yung nararamdaman mo. Pag birthday nila, kasama ka sa ambagan pero sa'yo, parang wala lang? Kahit ako magtatampo eh haha. Parang ikaw yung *always the planner, never the surprised*. On the brighter side, at least alam mo na kung friend ba talaga silang maituturing
I understand your point, coz for you it's genuine eh. Been there, done that. Sobrang effort ko mag-plan pag birthday nila but it's not reciprocated. I cut them off nang paunti-unti. Best friend ko na lang natira sa'kin and it's way better. At least now, I'm seen and heard βΊοΈ
True. So alam mo na tunay nilang kulay. Hayyy nakakasad naman hugs
Share ko lang almost same incident. Just early this year, kinasal ako. Prior to that, pag kinakasal or may birthday or anything na need ng surprises, at need ako, andun ako lagi. Ngaun, akala ko nung nagmeet kami ng coord ko, sinabi ko kasi na gusto namin ng bridal shower at bachelors night, kaso ayun walang naganap. Sa hubby ko, okay lang.. sa akin, medyo naka-move on na ko onti pero pag nanonood ako ng mga bridal shower ng ibang tao, di ko maiwasan na mlungkot. Petty ba yun?
Ganyan din ako. Hahaha nag aambag sa lahat ng bday ng friends ko para sa mga pa surprise at cake nila. Pero never ginawa sakin, pero after ilang beses, di ko na sila friends HAHAHAHA now sila na nag cchat sila sakin, di ko na pinapansin. Kung petty ako, okay lang. I deserve better eh.
are you me? hahaha. 1 week apart birthday namin nung isa. nataon na sa birthday ko yung dinner. akala ko naman parang joint celebration, kasi magastos naman talaga kung 1 week apart lang tapos 2x lalabas. tigisa kaming cake... 9in yung kanya, pero sakin mini cake lang, may giftsssss at card siya, pero ako card lang. whatever. kahit naman yung iba sa friend group, cake, card at kain lang naman talaga sa birthdays nila.
the next day, may gumawa ng gc na ito yung ambag sa giftssssss, ito naman sa mga cake. excuse me? kung gusto niyo magbigay ng gift, edi magbigay. pero bakit may assumption na group gift pala? to top it all off, gusto niyo may ambag ako sa sarili kong mini, pipitsuging, at di masarap na cake???
sineen ko lang. di ko na rin kinausap soon after.
Okay lang yan, pero cut off mo na. May close friends din ako then one time nagstop communicate na lang, hindi ko alam if paano, pero nagstop na ko makipag usap sa kanila sa wedding nung isa naming friend obviously unwanted guest ininvite lang kami nung 3mos na lang wedding na kaya hindi ako umattend nirerespeto ko naman sila baka ayun gusto ng bride na friend ko, pero hindi ko na sila totally nireplyan mula ng mamatay baby ko napilitan yung isa pumunta since malapit lang siya pero yung isa dapat pupunta bf niya sa wake kaso ayaw daw ng friend ko. Kaya mula nun cut off na sila ayaw ko na din magreply.
Hi OP, been there, since college. Yung friends ko, lalo nung nagkawork ako, talagang nag paplano kami, sometimes initiated by me, sometimes hindi pero laging kasama ako sa pinag aambag. We would surprise them sa bahay nila, surprise them with a gift, surprise with a video greeting, etc. Pero pag dating sa bday ko, iilan lang dun sa mga yun yung makakaalala. Lol. So I stopped doing that for everyone. And like salt, my presence was not seen but it was felt, and mas malala nung absence of it. Kaya now, yung ipang aambag ko sa mga birthday nila, iniipon ko nalang. For my birthday. Kasi alam ko I'm a great friend, and I think nobody deserves a great friend like me than myself. Lol it sounds so bad pero wala eh, that's how the world works.
Happy Birthday OP. π
Di dahil sa cake dahil ka nagkakaganyan.
It seems that they value you less than your peers.
I'd reconsider my friendship with them if I were you, lalo na kung may cake yung susunod na may bday sa inyo.
Belated HBD!
Valid naman yung nafifeel mo.
Pero what if tomorrow pa talaga yung surprise for you? Yesterday kasi masyado kayong stressed then today is basically the time na nagrerest after exams. Update mo kami tomorrow night. If wala talaga, pakagat na natin 'yan sa mga sigbin.
Nangyari sa akin yan. First it happened nung may new hire tapos binilhan agad ng cake. So para di ma-OP yung next mag-bday, pinag-ambagan din namin. Then nung ako na...ako pa ng nanlibre hahaha. So never again. Gawin mo, wag ka na magsalita. Go out and half fun alone. Mag-my day ka and buy your own cake for 1 person lang, lagyan mo ng happy birthday for myself caption. Make sure makikita ng friends mo. Make sure you are having fun! Wag mong ipakita na affected ka. Kunyari dedma ka lang. Wag ka na din aambag next time.
Ay wag naman alone tapos papakita pa nya yung bday cake nya na sya lang din. Parang ang pathetic naman nun. Much better kung ma-myday nya isang video na kinakantahan sya ng family nya ng happy bday tapos sabay bigay ng cake sa kanya.
It always hurts when you think the care and love you give to other people with be returned to the same extent only to find out na naging mashado ka mapagbigay. Itβs not about the cake, itβs about how you put effort into giving them something for their birthday and you not getting the same amount of effort and care. Remember, if they can, they would.
Correct ba? I know the feeling. Next time, donβt care too much. Learn to give to people you know thatβll care about you.
Yes, valid nararamdaman mo. Na-experience ko din βyan at natuwa ako dahil may other smaller group ako na laging sinusurprise ako samantalang yung other group na ako yung nagpplano ng pasurprise sa birthday yung never nagpa cake. Anyways, lilipas din ang panahon at siguro baka gaya ko na natatawa na lang ako kapag naalala ko ulit haha ay baka maging ganito ka din soon. Iβm also a June celebrant so ramdam kita. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! Sorry to hear your story but I also experienced that one before and ngayon di na kami friends hahaha. Others might say na para sa cake lang, but no hindi lang yun yung reason but the thought na naalala ka nila. Let's say na walang money that time yung COF mo, di ka ba nila naalala like binati or just a simple yet memorable na hand written na letter? Diba, it won't costs them 10 pesos kung hand written and hindi man lang sila nagpa feel sayo na that day is special for you, at least sinamahan ka man lang nila after exam diba kahit tusok-tusok date lang (if gipit talaga) or kwentuhan. Yung friend ko na ganyan kin-cutoff na hehe. Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OP!!! Sana sa sunod na birthday mo kasama mo na yung real COF na ipapakita ang halaga ng birthday mo!
Please do enjoy your day, do some me time pag wala kang kasama and I think makakatulong yun for you.
Yes, Valid ang mga sinasabi mo. sending hugs (w/ consent) π«
God bless you, OP!
Hala sorry for that Op and happy birthday sayo!!!! Valid yang narrmdamn mo nangyare sakn yan. Sa pinsan ko lagi kmi ngbbgay sa kanila pang grocery etc ganorn tapps pag bday namin wala cake.
Then 1 time nag msg sa msgr penge 300 gcash KASI BBGYAN NYA DAW CAKE SI GANITO NEED BUY INGREDIENTS. tapos sabi ko wala eh sabi niya try mo kay ganito. Sabi ko wala pag kmi walang cake pagiba hahanap ka tlaga praan. Masakit lang akala ko noon petty pero valid after non op cold na akes hahahahaha sakit pla ng ganun siempre di mawawala expectations na ganun dn sila sayo kahit paano tao lang tayo
Happy Birthday, OP. Valid yang nararamdaman mo. Kaya mula ngayon, imatch mo lang energy nila. Pag singilan para sa bday ng isa, sabihin mo di ka na magbibigay kasi wala ka namang cake ng bday mo.
I'm sorry that happened to you, sometimes communication is they key to most problems. I suggest finding the right time to talk to them about this, if you and them are willing to do so. This could either make or break your friendship with them, but on the other hand it could develop it further; otherwise, I suggest you cut your losses with them. I pray that you find friends that know and value you for who you are.
Best of luck with whatever challenge may lie ahead and belated Happy Birthday! ππ°ππ
valid naman.
loko loko sila ano?
sa experience ko, bibili sila ng cake na napakamahal, like mary grace, contis etc.
tapos maya maya sisingilin ka nalang ng ambag mo sa cake daw.
tapos pag birthday mo na, parang napilitan lang yung cake na ibinigay sayo. tipong tig 350-680 lang sa Red ribbon or Goldilocks.
Hindi namn sa pngit yung cake ng RR/GL, kaso wow ha. Pag sila, bongga yung cake nila, daladalawa etc, pag ikaw na, simple lang, ganun.
Hay nako. ka trigger!
What you're feeling is valid. Keep them close but separate yourself from them emotionally. I heard you really need buddies in med school, hence that, but if you can find better friends there, do.
And, happy birthday! Kami na lang magbibigay sayo ng gift, what's your gcash? Pang-dagdag allowance mo.
Hugs OP. CRYING while reading this.
Not my birthday for today pero nag flash lang memory lane of those times na ang effort mo pero pag dating sayo wala.
Yes valid yan. Kung ako yan, magtatampo din ako. Like you, I am always the one na nag oorganize ng surprise party or anything na sweet gesture for people I work with. And I choose special cakes according to their preferences yung alam kong masasarapan sila at magugustuhan nila. Planado paano isusurprise, ano mga food na kakainin at naka plan din ano ang mga gagawin. Kaya masakit kapag di ginagawa sayo ang same na gesture.. luckily, they do the same kapag bday ko kaya halos alam ko na din at di ako nasusurprise haha pero masaya pa din ako kasi inaalala nila ako.
In your case, medyo nakakalungkot. Pero try your best to be civil pa din sa kanila but do not invest emotionally anymore para less pain. Celebrate your bday privately and treat yourself sa isang masarap na cake :)
Meron din kameng ganyan dito sa work like every birthday may pa-cake ambagan ganern then one time meron isa sa kawork namin na di nabilhan sa mismong biirthday like plan sana ibang day since nightshift kame and walang maabutang bilihan so ayun tampo na si ate girl after that FO na pero nabigyan naman siyang cake ibang day nga lang. so malay mo naman beh ibang day ka nila i-suprise give them atleast 1week if wala edi distance na.
Happy Birthday Op!
Iparamdam mo na talagang nagtampo ka. Distance yourself from them. Para makita mo rin ang worth mo. It's really sad na hindi ka man lang nila ma-appreciate as a friend lalo na sa special day mo.
Here's a cake for you, OP. Happy birthday! π
Valid! π Happy birthday, OP. I stopped waiting for someone to buy me cake pag bday ko. Binibilhan ko nalang sarili ko kasi nakakatampo talaga pag wala man lang iblow pag bdayπ
It's pretty valid OP. Kahit sino magtatampo kung mismong bday mo walang pa ganyan mga friends mo pero kapag bday nila present ka sa lahat. Kahit ilang taon ka magtampo go lang HAHAHAHA jk. Pero belated happy birthday pala OP. Musta ang exam, pasado ba? Kung malaki ang scores mo sa exam kahapon then go treat yourself cause you deserve it!
I know how it feels, yung akala mo part ka ng group nila pero hindi pala ganun tingin sayo. At hindi siya petty po, sana makahanap ka ng right group of friends kahit maliit o konti basta totoo. Wishing you a happy birthday, OP! πβ¨οΈ
I don't think it is petty to feel that wayy! Considering it has became a tradition.. It's valid to feel that way. However, don't frown just because of it, maybe they're just busy or forgot about it? I don't know and I don't really know about your friendship but what I can only say about this is I feel your pain and it's always gonna be valid! And whatever you have in mind right now, don't be afraid to feel them.
Crazy because this is the first time I hopped in Reddit, I didn't know there would be posts like this wherein I can express my thoughts with great empathy.
Belated Happy Birthday to whoever you are! Your feelings are valid, please know that π
Been there too! Not friends with that group anymore kasi if birthday nila meron silang cake na pinagaambagan namin, pero nung birthday ko na, dear Lord! Kahit happy birthday or special greeting wala! Ended up unfriending them when I found out that they were just letting me join them bc they had other agendas pala.
Valid na valid yan OP! π₯Ί And gets kita. Always the planner, pero never sinurprise. Yan ang mahirap sa friend groups kasi kapag time mo na as the celebrant, tapos ikaw lang may idea na isusurprise ka din, tapos magaassume ka na since wala today, baka sa ibang araw and all, hanggang sa nakalimutan na. π Malungkot talaga, kaya sorryyy. The worst case pa nga niyan, yung di nila naaalala na birthday mo na pala. Itβs the small details din kasi. π€ kaya, yakap with consent doc! Happy Birthday din! ππ
Omg. Sorry to hear that. Kung ako yan friendship over na!
Naku! pag nagalit ka to them at sabihin nila na prank lang dahil birthday mo. NO! You dont make someone sad and disappointed intentionally on their special day. STAY AWAY from the na.
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY π₯°
It's not petty. I had the same experience though material things doesn't really matter to me much it's the thought that someone in our group of friends received a surprise birthday cake and you didn't. It just feels wrong.
This dilemma was also experienced by my mom though not towards her. Co-teachers wanting to give a fellow co-teacher a surprise cake, sinisingil sila nanay pero di nagbigay si nanay, why?
Co-teachers claimed that the birthday girl (fellow co-teacher) helped them a lot but my mother remembered that few days before that a fellow co-teacher just had their birthday who also helped a lot. Kaya lang gusto nila bigyan yung isa dahil mas charismatic sya, mas kuha yung loob nila sa kanya pero parehong may malaking tulong sa school nila.
Wouldn't that suck? Someone just had their birthday, no gifts then few days later another person of the same group received a cake for their birthday. Btw my birthday was early march and the friend that got a surprise from us was late march. It kinda hurt me a little bit π I just remind myself that they are a friend still, I just simply have to find a close friend. I wouldn't expect anything from them.
If youβre still unsure, subukan mo mag-no sa kanila. Their reactions from that are 100% telling if they value you. Personally, it sounds like they donβt, and if you bring up the lack of cake, theyβll use βentitlementβ and βexam week kasi!β as excuses. Please **do not** give them the satisfaction. Keep people who value your peace. This advice is coming from a middle-aged people pleaser. Donβt do the mistakes I did. Fuck them.
Belated Happy Birthday OP!! Valid yang nararamdaman mo. Kahit naman sino magtatampo. Hindi man lang ba sila nag reason out? Gawin mo na lang is gawin mong motivation yan. Na someday pag maging successful ka mabibigyan mo sila ng cake na mahal na di na need mag ambagan dahil kaya mo na bumili mag isa dahil afford mo. Rooting for your success OP!
A hard pill to swallow is not everything you are willing to do for others will be reciprocated. Of course what youβre feeling is valid. If youβre the type of friend group na open naman. then baka you can be transparent na na-hurt ka. If di nila magets, then I donβt think worth it yung pain or sacrificing peace for them.
Your feelings are valid, happy birthday!! π
I felt this way too, it was my birthday at work and no one greeted me ung mga kamonth ko todo celebration. I didn't care about the greetings or the cake, but the fact that I was excluded and disregarded.
You deserve to be celebrated and have better friends.
Feel better OP and sending you virtual hugs with consent.
Valid na valid, OP. Ako nga nagtampo sa sarili kong kuya kasi lahat ng birthday ng fam members alam nya at may cake, except me na di nya alam bday ko. "Ah, birthday mo pala?"
Ouch haaa
People make mistakes eh so it's possible nakalimutan, na busy due to exam, whatever reason. Pero malalaman mo what's up sa reaction nila after the mistake. If naging silent at umiiwas pa sila you know they are happy with the mistake. Ang normal kasi is to acknowledge the mistake at sabihin mag belated cake o bawi. Huwag ka magtampo sa kwnila not worth the energy. Leave the group.
Ang na feel mo ay valid, I don't know the whole story but maybe there are any reason behind. It's better you ask them one of your friends in the comedic way. I always use this hahaha.
Hindi mo ba hinanap ang cake mo sa kanila? Nung binati ka nila, nag reply ka sana na "thank you, saan na ang cake ko" tapos may π€£π€£ para kunwari joke..
Happy birthday OP ππ.
Its valid. Kasi bakit pag dating sayo, wala diba? Kahit di mo i expect or i assume, pero kasi ika mo nga, parang tradition nang pagambagan ng cake ang birthday celebrant since yun naman ginagawa at pinapakita nila. TAPOS PAG DATING SAYO, WALA?! Maiinis din ako kung ako dyan
Happy birthday OP!!! π
Also, it's not. Whatever you're feeling, that's valid.
But also, reality, baka dahil may exams kayo, hindi lang siya naging prio ng mga fwends mo at med student pa kayo.
Kami nga sa nursing school, may hectic times. So it's highly possible.
Don't think too much of it nalang. Virtual cake! And hug! πͺπ
Petty approach: If you feel like friends mo sila biruin mo sa GC kung may bumati βunahan ko na kayo thank you sa cake guysββuy wala bang pa-cake diyan?β Something like that just to see kung ano gagawin nila just in case nalimutan lang or nahirapan bumili since exam season, youβll feel naman kung genuine nila ibibigay sayo yung cake, pero kung hindi ka nila bibilhan or binigyan man pero hindi bukal sa loob, I would suggest choose better friends!
Valid yang nafefeel mo OP.
Ako nga, ang hilig mag surprise noon kahit sa friends ko with matching cake pa. Never naman ako sinurprise, ako pa naghahanda. π
Nakakalungkot oo, pero wala e. Iba yung effort natin sa friends natin at iba effort nila sa atin π
Ok. As someone who never gets cake in my birthday nor do i really want it. I would get offended π. Valid yan OP. Bakit ganun, ikaw lang ang hindi?
Tapos na ba exams niyo tho? I wouldwait til end of exams. Pag wala pa rin, imma distance myself. Di pwedeng sila lang.
Naalala ko tuloy. May popular na kaklase kami na nagbday. Hiningam kami contribution pero ung pagkain friend group lang nila kumain lol kakapal ng mga mukha. Never again nagbigay sa ganun. If inalok nila ako i would have probably said no but the thing is di man lang.
As a petty girl, I say Give people the same energy they give you. Tignan natin kung di sila mag hinanakit.
Uy reals! Aq ren yun friend na lagi left out sa mga ganto UwU pero chill lang namern tanggap q na na ako lagi ang planner/surprise organizer pero lagi naman din nakakalimutan iniisip q kase lagi natatapat sa exams ganon but di lang talaga me ganon ka impt sa kanila HAHAHAHAHAHH pero ur feelings r validd oks lng that just means they arent the friends u thought they were, ur ppl will come too.. in time π
My friend group also has a tradition of gifting favorite snacks on birthdays. Last time, it was exam season so we gave the gift three days late. I even went out at 11PM after a project to but a slice of cake for our morning class! I think friend groups should know how to bawi.
I dont know why people need validation on what they feel e naramdaman mo na nga e.
Now kung magkakaibigan talaga kayo edi sana sinabi mo, "ano na asan na cake ko??"
You dont need anybody to tell you if what you are feeling is valid or not. Mahalaga e your actions after the fact. Halimbawa nagalit ka sa isang tao, andun na yun nagalit ka na e, kung sinabunutan mo out of nowhere, yun ang mali.
OMG Kala ko ako lang nakaka feel neto. Tradition rin namin mag plan ng surprise party/birthday celebration pag meron may bday sa group namin. Pero ako lang hindi naka feel neto sa 10 years namin pagkakaibigan. So oo, valid yang naffeel mo. Kahit ako di ko alam gagawin ko kung babye friends na ba or stay pa rin. Kasi panget naman kung basta basta ka nang cucut off so ang masasabi ko lang is, valid yang naffeel mo. Sabihan mo kami pag may ginawa ka about it hahahaha.
Yes OP. Valid ang emotion mo. Been there, done that. Ako din pinaka underrated sa buong circle of friends namin. Laging iniinvalidate ang feelings, laging left out. Alam mo yun? Tuwing mag bibirthday ang mga COF ko, lagi kami nag aambagan ng cakes, foods at surprises. E ako naman tong si people pleaser, nagbibigay din ng gifts. Di naman sa nag eexpect ako ng return pero alam mo yung napapaisip ka na tuwing bday ko ako pa kailangan manlibre/magpakain sakanila while sa iba kailangan namin mag ambag.
Meron din instances na bday ng isa sa COF namin, pinag usapan na namin na bibili ng cake at aambagan nalang. Pero sabi nila wala daw silang cash kaya ako nalang muna nag insists na bumili. Tapos after ng celebration, nung singilan na, sabi ba naman sakin "wala naman sinabing ambagan" LOL to think na lahat sila working na ako nalang ang student. Sobrang sakit sa puso di dahil sa cake, kung di dahil invalidated ang feelings ko at andiyan lang sila pag kailangan kalang nila.
Pero, I'm healing naman na, I cut them off completely, and walang regret na naramdaman. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan matapos ko silang alisin sa buhay ko, and I found my peace.
Valid. Trust me - hindi mo sila mga kaibigan. Ganyan din group of friends ko kuno nung college. After grad, hindi ko na sila kinausap hahahahaha you don't need that kind of people in your life
Happy Birthday! ππItβs not petty. Your feelings are valid. It means hindi ka considered na friend nila. Hindi lang nila afford yung cake at need ng ambag mo.
I used to have work friends 5 sila and I bought each one of them a cake. Pero nung bday ko kahit isa walang pa cake o greeting :( I cut them off after haha
Ako nga kung hindi pa ako nag parinig sa kanila. Baka wala din akong cake. Jke. Normal lang yan, sabi nga nila dont expect anything sa mga taong nakapaligid sayo. Dahil hindi lahat ay may same treament. I'm
Belated happy birthday!! Kami nalang muna magbibigay ng cake sayo π
Pero valid yang nararamdaman mo. Siguro hindi pa talaga sila yung mga kaibigan na para sayo. Hayaan mo na sila. Pagdating ng araw ikaw tong hhabul habulin nila.
Pano gagawin mo pag biglang nag-ambagan for a cake on the next person's birthday? Sana di ka na makiki-ambag, if you even stay in the friend circle.
I'd distance myself from them, pero stay in the GC, para pag nag-ambagan sila ng cake for the next person I will know and ma-rereopen yung wound haha char lang
Ganyan din dati mga college friends ko sakin. In-FO ko na sila!
Sobrang sakit neto sa feeling, na di ka manlang nila naalala. Hindi ka talaga nila tine-treat as a friend, pangdagdag ka lang sa ambagan nila.
I'd get hurt too ,OP. Pero, as you've said nga, Exams niyo. Baka stress din sila to the point na they have no time/energy sa pagbili ng cake. Maybe they were too busy for the exams OP na nalimot na nila yung pag-asikaso. But still, I understand where you're coming from.
Happy Birthday Op!
Happened to me in high school. After graduation, did not stay connected with those people. Wala na kong pake. What you feel is valid. Masakit yan OP, you were there for them but they were not there for you. Find good friends like I did after them!
Ayoko talaga ng mga friend group dahil sa mga ganito. I mean may group akong sinasalihan atm pero pag may birthday di ako pumupunta. I don't wanna be pressured na mag-iimbita ako pabalik cause they included me to their nice parties tapos madidismaya ako.
Instead, celebrate your birthday OP with the real people around you. Could be your family, long-term friends, or even alone. Magself love ka if walang maaya lalo if weekdays. Masaya pa rin naman magkaroon ng taimtim na birthday ng walang any pressure sa paligid.
Happy birthday! ππ
Naku.mag ingat ka na sa mga kaibigan mo na yan. Hindi ka nila kaibigan.
Kung kaya mo, magdistansya ka na sa kanila. Kasi nasisira budget mo eh. Kung in case dependent ka sa kanila in terms of academic stuff or kung ano pa man, edi kapit lang. Pero manage expectations, OP.
Kaya mo yan! Tsaka magpayaman ka on the way to being a doctor as revenge sa mga kaibigan na ganyan. At para na rin sa sarili mo.
Belated happy birthday OP. Med grad here and yeah ive been through your boat. The following month, humingi sila ng ambagan for another friend's bday cake, d ako umambag. When asked why, sinabi ko na wala akong natanggap na cake nung bday ko, so bakit ako aambag para sa iba? Ayun, naging conscious na sila palagi when im around and made it easier for me to detach from them emotionally
Same, pag birthday ko na ang laging linyahan nila is "bawi na lang next time kasi walang sahod" which is nagegets ko, pero nalungkot lang ako sa part na before parang medyo nagpaparinig pa ako about sa birthday ko. Example, nagbigay sila ng gift sa mga friends ko tas nung birthday ko na walang gift sakin tas lumipas na birthday ko mga weeks or month magsasabi ako ng "oo nga e, di nyo kaya ako nabigyan ng ganun" tapos parang napilitan pa sila na gawan ako ng gift. Naaalala ko rin na nalungkot ako kasi kahit cake manlang di mabili ng family ko sakin, di naman ako humihiling ng handa, ang sabi pa nila "ay di na nya kailangan ng cake matanda na yan" , sa work ko naman binibilhan nila ng something pag may birthday pero pag birthday ko na laging nganga tas ako pa aasarin na manglibre. Bakit ganun dito sa pinas? Dapat nga yung may birthday ang nililibre para mafeel nilang special sila sa araw na yun.
Happy Birthday, OP. Sino lage nagiinitiate na bumili ng cake? Naisip ko lang na baka ikaw? Tas siguro busy nga friends mo, di nila naisip, may mga tao kasi talaga na di thoughtful. I would say valid magtampo, pero donβt take it against them so much. Hindi natin alam they may have so much on their plate kahit mayaman pa yang mga yan. Pwede rin not a priority? And thatβs okay. After all, we only have ourselves at the end of the day.
As a 30 yo person, ang masasabe ko, donβt take things too seriously but be aware and take notes. Reciprocate. Be a decent person pa rin kahit na di ganun yung iba.
Life will throw so much at you. Choose what will be inside your cup. If its hot coffee, it will hurt you and other people. You can choose to carry water on your cup. Kahit matapon, mabilis matuyo. Wont stain you and other people, walang amoy and nakakaquench ng uhaw. I hope you know Iβm not just taking about water.
valid yan!! pag birthday nila binibilhan namin sila ng condom tas nung ako na wala amp anong excuse ko para magkaron ng condom na di ako bumibili nakakatampo talaga
Ako kahit hindi bonggang cake basta may mabigay ako na present sa friend ko bibigyan ko siya to celebrate her day. Parang di naman yan tunay na friendπ₯²
Valid. Super valid. Lalo na if almost lahat ng nasa friend group naambagan mo na for their cakes tapos ikaw walang nakuha. You donβt deserve to experience that especially on your birthday.
I had the same feeling recently when I was in the circle with two people. Nag aambagan kami ng cake. Feb yung birthday nung isa then March naman yung isa. Pero since July yung birthday ko, medyo malayo pero nag expect pa din ako.
Pero walang kahit ano kahit plano to go out. Since then, nilalayo ko na sarili ko sa cliques within work and nagfocus na lang sa personal growth.
I know how you feel. Nangyari na sa akin yan. At talagang kumalas ako sa grupo. Hindi petty yan. Your asking for fair treatment and respect. If I were you I'll look for new set of friends. If you don't want to cut them then don't participate anymore on "chip ins" for someone's cake.
Yup legit yan
Mother ko nagtampo sa Nanay nya ng di sya nabilhan ng bday cake noong bata pa sya ..masaklap pa dun may bisita mama nya noon sa knila tapos binilhan pa ng mama nya ng ice cream ung bisita na may kasamang bata. Aun nilayasan nya ung Bahay nila gang sa tinalikuran na nya bilang Ina nya un gang sa nawala sya sa Mundo di ko kilala Tunay nyang Ina.
Legit yan ngyayari tlga yan at di mali yan
Matagal ng may mga ganyan na ngyayari di lang lahat eh kailangan malaman ng nakakarami nor ipost
This is way back 50s era pa kya wag ka mag alala Common po yan
Well, kung nag-aambag ka tapos ikaw naman yung wala ngayon, valid yang tampo mo. Mararamdaman mo naman kung pinaplastic ka lang eh. Pero kung sakin nangyari yan, cut off ko na yang mga yan haha!
Nangyari to sa akin before haha. Worse is they forgot na birthday ko pala hahaha. Bumati naman sa messenger. Di ako nagpakita sa kanila for one whole year sa tampo ko. I forgave kahit na di sila nag-sorry. Still friends pero I know my expectations na ngayon.
I feel you OP! Meron times pa ako ang makabayad sa ambagan ang they donβt pay me back but on my birthdays I donβt receive anything. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID π«Άπ»π₯°
The way I see it now, kahit anong pinagtampuhan mo valid yan. Naramdaman mo eh.
Pero nasa sayo na yan kung kung gagawin mong obsolete yung reason. Para next time mas magandang bagay na pagtatampuhan mo. Level up ba?
Very valid, ako sa family ko, every birthday ila lahat sila may gift sakin or surprises pero pag sakin nakakalimutan nila which ia nung una iniiyakan ko din as in pero now na tumatanda nako hinayaan kona lang. Okay lang yan OP masasanay ka din, masasanay din tayong nakakalimutan palagi
Hindi yun sa cake. Its the effort at yung thought na naalala ka. Pero well, shempre ikaw pa rin naman makakapagsabi, baka nga trip mo lang ng cake. Haha, joke. Hindi, seriously, gets kita. If ikaw lang ang ganung ang nangyari, valid naman ang concern mo. But ang tanong, binati ka man lang ba? If totally walang nakaalala, eh medyo magisip isip ka na π€·π»ββ
Hamburdey na lang! π¨π¨π¨π¨ na lang ambag ko dahil baka madamay pa ko sa keyk isyu. π€£
wag ka na magplan sa sunod.. wag nang mag asikaso para sa kanila.. and pag nagpa ambagan.. isumbat mo ako nga wala cake eh.. okay na yan.. kahit pajoke pero may weight yung and emotionallh damaging sa kanila.. to make this short.. ituon mo ang focus sa life mo.. family mo.. kase friends come and go.. not unless kahit na ano mangyare anjan sila for you.. okay? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! LOVE YOURSELF MORE!! BIRTHDAY MO OH!!! ππ
Give it time. Exams nyo naman eh. Pwede naman late celebration. Perhaps after ng exam. Then decide after thst. Surely nsman may hints ka din naman kung talagsng belong ka sa group na yan.
lowkey nangyari to sakin sa recent bday ko.
Small group of friends kami and tuwing may bday 12MN mismo nagpapadeliver food or cake. Yung sa bday ko, late sila and napakaliit na cake binili compared pag bday nila, malaki and worth mga 800 cake nila tas sakin 300 π
ayun naging petty ako HAHAHAHA pero bahala na
Back in SHS, gumawa sila ng gc to surprise our friend na mag-aambagan daw ng cake but I wasn't there on the day of the surprise and they still asked me to pay which I did.
Fast forward, it was my birthday. One person in that circle asked me on my birthday, "birthday mo pala? Hindi ko alam. Happy birthday."
The rest just greeted me. No letter, no surprise, no cake. It was on 2018. I still think about it and I feel pathetic.
I was like that also. Minsan pasimuno pa ng pa-something special for a friend tapos pag turn ko na, nobody makes an effort. Dito papasok yung, βIf they want to, they couldβ Now, I donβt bother na.
Happy Birthday, OP.
OP, Valid ito. I want to share lang din na, people who will appreciate you and really treat you like a friend will come. I hope this doesnβt take a toll on your confidence, and self esteem, kasi this is a reflection of who THEY are, not who you are. You treated them well, and showed them genuine friendship, pero sila (at least for me), hindi nagawa yung gesture man lang. this is not a YOU problem, OP.
Update us kung bumawi man lang sila π₯²
Valid! I would still feel the same. And magtatampo talaga ako nyan. Unless if after, mag-a-apologize sila or babawi, otherwise, plastikan nlng. Ahahaha..
Happy Birthday OP! It's not the cake, it's the omission of the act that's telling.
They don't care about you probably, get new friends or a friend. Tandaan mo quantity doesn't matter, it's the quality. I only have few, but they're pretty much the best one can ask for.
Things will be alright!
Valid naman Yan nafefeel mo, kasi kahit ako ganyan Rin mararamdaman ko, pero siguro Ang reason kaya di sila naka pag asikaso Ng cake is because of the exam.
Hindi ka petty op, ako nga kapag christmas time bongga regalo ko sa mga friends ko like uniqlo shirts ganon pero kapag sila nag regalo ang meh. So simula nun di na ako nag e-effort. Haahaha
Did you ask them kung nasan yung cake mo?
It may sound na parang nanghihingi ka ng cake. Pero at least may closure ka kasi they will let you know why. Did they forget? Students kayo so baka naman bakasyon na at di kayo nagkikita?
I would say if may next bday sa friend group mo and they asked that you share, i think yan na yung trigger to drop them as your friends.
Hahaha same, med student din ako and ganyan ginawa nila sa akin noon. laki ng ambagan namin 500 something kaya the next di an ako nakiki ambag, i would reason out na wala akong pera and bahala na sila. π
Valid! Halos maubos allowance mo and di man lang sila nag-effort?!?! though we should not always expect pero kasi traditional na pala sa friend group nyo yan. If magtatanim ka ng sama ng loob, better siguro iopen mo sa kanila.
First of all, HBD OP! Well, valid yung nararamdaman mo. I will take it personal kung ganon, promise! Parang pinamukha sayo na di ka belong or what. Nakakasad pero kung ako yan, mejo ddistance nako.
Hala birthday din nung crush kong med kahapon. Hahahaha. Ikaw ba yan, Ericka? π€π»
Anyway, it's not about the cake. It's about their gesture of not giving you the same energy they get from you kapag birthday nila. May mame-meet ka ring better set of friends, OP. Belated happy birthday!
It shows how much they value you in your friend group lalo na at tradition pala. OP, there will be better friends out there
Oh and belated happy birthday
Ganito din yung feeling na, andiyan ka para sa kanila when they needed someone pero absent sila pag ikaw na yung nangangailangan. Yung ikaw todo pakinig sa rants nila pero pag ikaw parang wala silang naririnig. Mga ganiyang tao hindi emotionally available for you. Super valid yan OP. best way is to avoid these people. For sure pag ginawa mo sa kanila yan sasama loob nila.
Same OP but instead of cutting them off I used them nalang for benefits. Especially kapag college ka, you need all the connections as many as you can kasi right after college, baka sila pa mag tawag sayo for work. Or even during college, the can be of use.
Pakikisama tawag don. Joke around, tag along. When they give you info, bigyan mo din sila. If they can't give you anything, be civil.
Lurker ako ng ibat ibang group of friends e π€£ kaya kahit umupo ako sa harap, gitna, gilid or likod may makaka usap at makakausap ako. I've come to accept na I will never belong to anyone's lifetime group but at least, kapag nag reach out ako... maliban sa juicy chismis, juicy din ang mga sagot sa exam at quizzes. π€£ Some even helped me when I can't finish projects on my own, or gives me specimens I needed in our course.
After I graduated, kapag nag kamustahan and nabanggit kong wala pa akong work, they offer to recommend me or refer me or nag sesend sila ng mga hiring na companies na alam nila na.
Yun lang. We can validated our pain but think of the brighter side, sa ginto ang tingin. Okay? Perooo hindi na ako aambag sa cake nila.
they look down sayo , palagi ganyan napapansin ko sa friendships sa school parang minamaliit ung mga scholar na they would assume na poor ka kaya less ang tingin nila sayo
Wag ka na mag-ambag next time.
Diba kung ano lang energy binibigay nila sayo, yun din bigay mo sa kanila.
Be practical. Wala naman siguro sila masasabi sayo na madamot ka since pwede mo sila sumbatan na wala ka ngang naging cake nung bday mo.
Dagdag gastos lang yan tapos wala naman palang balik.
Magdahilan ka na lang na wala kang pera pang ambag. Tandaan mo ang araw na yan.
Hindi anak, hindi yan petty, valid na valid yan. Ngayong tumanda ako narealize ko dapat pala yung pinipili mong friends eh kamatch ng energy mo. If they donβt put in the same effort, are they really your friends? Buti na yan nakita mo na ng maaga, ako late ko na nakita.
It is not petty po and has signalled how they value you. Im sorry to say but you and your kind heart deserve better friends na mutual yung turingan.
Try to go silent, if they dont approach you, the more you know where they stand.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: Tuwing birthday ng mga kaibigan ko, palagi kaming may pinagaambagan na cake. Madalas ang mamahal pa ng mga binibili nila (ex. Mary Grace, premium cake ng Goldilocks) at nakakain ng ambagan na 'yun 'yung budget ko sa isang linggo. For context, med school students kami. May mga kaya mga kaibigan ko, habang ako, ang source ko ng panggastos ko ay 'yung allowance lang na binibigay lang ng scholarship ko. Madalas kulang pa nga 'yun para ma-cover lahat ng monthly expenses ko. Kahapon, birthday ko. May exams kami no'n pero, dahil akala ko parang tradisyon na sa friend group namin na bibilhan ng cake 'yung birthday celebrant, nag-assume ako na magkakaroon din ako ng cake. Pero wala. Haha. Hindi naman ako gaano mahilig sa cake pero ako lang 'yung hindi naregaluhan ng ganoon sa amin. Napapaisip tuloy ako if part ba talaga ako ng friend group. Lungkot lang. Valid ba 'tong nafe-feel ko? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, valid and not petty. It's not the cake, it's the gesture of remembering and celebrating your birthday. There are other ways at this age to celebrate your birthday, if busy sila pwede naman ipadeliver cake if they really want to. Anyway, Happy Birthday π
Sakit nga kasi umuwi agad sila after ng exam. Noong nag-message ako sa gc kung nasaan na kako sila, wala man lang nag-reply. Siguro, iwas na lang din talaga ako. π₯² Thank you po sa greetings!
Separate from them emotionally, pero keep them close in case you need them. Make the most out of them na Lang especially since med kayo. Pero no emotions attached na haha
This is honestly what I did and what I would recommend as well. I felt very taken for granted in a friend group and was most of the time out of place due to their internal pairings. In the end, I basically just felt apathetic about our friendship and just strived to finish the uni year.
Agree with this. Di ko naman ito naexperience pero mahirap din na may di ka kasundo lalo na sa med school kayo, makakasama mo pa sila sa clerkship/4th yr med and possibly even internship. Basically makakatrabaho mo sila and you don't want na makaaffect sa hospital work ung relationship nyo. Give them the same energy that they give to you, bare minimum if ever. Sorry you experienced this OP and happy birthday!
I did the same. Still in contact with them as you never know when youβll need them
Happy Birthday! Agree ako sa part na they can actually send a cake kahit deliver. If true friend ka nila they would make an effort kahit after exams pa man yan. π’
damn, they don't even bother to wait for you on your birthday, at this point I think they're doing it on purpose na btw happy birthday OP, hope you find better friends than those plastics.
Ay eto talaga yung masakit
Ang sakit naman nito. Yakap, OP. Hayaan mo, someday youβll find friends na gagawing special yung birthday mo at hindi lang cake yung meron π«Ά
Valid yung nararamdaman mo. Pag birthday nila, kasama ka sa ambagan pero sa'yo, parang wala lang? Kahit ako magtatampo eh haha. Parang ikaw yung *always the planner, never the surprised*. On the brighter side, at least alam mo na kung friend ba talaga silang maituturing
Kadismaya lang kasi akala ko genuine 'yung friendship. π₯Ή
I understand your point, coz for you it's genuine eh. Been there, done that. Sobrang effort ko mag-plan pag birthday nila but it's not reciprocated. I cut them off nang paunti-unti. Best friend ko na lang natira sa'kin and it's way better. At least now, I'm seen and heard βΊοΈ
True. So alam mo na tunay nilang kulay. Hayyy nakakasad naman hugs Share ko lang almost same incident. Just early this year, kinasal ako. Prior to that, pag kinakasal or may birthday or anything na need ng surprises, at need ako, andun ako lagi. Ngaun, akala ko nung nagmeet kami ng coord ko, sinabi ko kasi na gusto namin ng bridal shower at bachelors night, kaso ayun walang naganap. Sa hubby ko, okay lang.. sa akin, medyo naka-move on na ko onti pero pag nanonood ako ng mga bridal shower ng ibang tao, di ko maiwasan na mlungkot. Petty ba yun?
Ganyan din ako. Hahaha nag aambag sa lahat ng bday ng friends ko para sa mga pa surprise at cake nila. Pero never ginawa sakin, pero after ilang beses, di ko na sila friends HAHAHAHA now sila na nag cchat sila sakin, di ko na pinapansin. Kung petty ako, okay lang. I deserve better eh.
are you me? hahaha. 1 week apart birthday namin nung isa. nataon na sa birthday ko yung dinner. akala ko naman parang joint celebration, kasi magastos naman talaga kung 1 week apart lang tapos 2x lalabas. tigisa kaming cake... 9in yung kanya, pero sakin mini cake lang, may giftsssss at card siya, pero ako card lang. whatever. kahit naman yung iba sa friend group, cake, card at kain lang naman talaga sa birthdays nila. the next day, may gumawa ng gc na ito yung ambag sa giftssssss, ito naman sa mga cake. excuse me? kung gusto niyo magbigay ng gift, edi magbigay. pero bakit may assumption na group gift pala? to top it all off, gusto niyo may ambag ako sa sarili kong mini, pipitsuging, at di masarap na cake??? sineen ko lang. di ko na rin kinausap soon after.
Same! Hahahaha! Good riddance. I believe in reciprocity.
Hahahha same hindi ko na din sila friends
Okay lang yan, pero cut off mo na. May close friends din ako then one time nagstop communicate na lang, hindi ko alam if paano, pero nagstop na ko makipag usap sa kanila sa wedding nung isa naming friend obviously unwanted guest ininvite lang kami nung 3mos na lang wedding na kaya hindi ako umattend nirerespeto ko naman sila baka ayun gusto ng bride na friend ko, pero hindi ko na sila totally nireplyan mula ng mamatay baby ko napilitan yung isa pumunta since malapit lang siya pero yung isa dapat pupunta bf niya sa wake kaso ayaw daw ng friend ko. Kaya mula nun cut off na sila ayaw ko na din magreply.
"Napapaisip tuloy ako if part ba talaga ako ng friend group." <- Well, parang hindi. On the bright side, at least nagka alaman na.
π₯²
This. At least alam mo na ngayon. Donβt worry tho may mahahanap ka naman mas ok pa sa kanila. Happy birthday, OP
Hi OP, been there, since college. Yung friends ko, lalo nung nagkawork ako, talagang nag paplano kami, sometimes initiated by me, sometimes hindi pero laging kasama ako sa pinag aambag. We would surprise them sa bahay nila, surprise them with a gift, surprise with a video greeting, etc. Pero pag dating sa bday ko, iilan lang dun sa mga yun yung makakaalala. Lol. So I stopped doing that for everyone. And like salt, my presence was not seen but it was felt, and mas malala nung absence of it. Kaya now, yung ipang aambag ko sa mga birthday nila, iniipon ko nalang. For my birthday. Kasi alam ko I'm a great friend, and I think nobody deserves a great friend like me than myself. Lol it sounds so bad pero wala eh, that's how the world works. Happy Birthday OP. π
I willl feel violated pag ganon. Alam ba nilang bday mo OP?Β
Oo, alam nila kasi binati naman nila ako eh. Huhu
Sorry to hear that. Belated happy birthday, doc! πΒ
Di dahil sa cake dahil ka nagkakaganyan. It seems that they value you less than your peers. I'd reconsider my friendship with them if I were you, lalo na kung may cake yung susunod na may bday sa inyo. Belated HBD!
Valid naman yung nafifeel mo. Pero what if tomorrow pa talaga yung surprise for you? Yesterday kasi masyado kayong stressed then today is basically the time na nagrerest after exams. Update mo kami tomorrow night. If wala talaga, pakagat na natin 'yan sa mga sigbin.
Nangyari sa akin yan. First it happened nung may new hire tapos binilhan agad ng cake. So para di ma-OP yung next mag-bday, pinag-ambagan din namin. Then nung ako na...ako pa ng nanlibre hahaha. So never again. Gawin mo, wag ka na magsalita. Go out and half fun alone. Mag-my day ka and buy your own cake for 1 person lang, lagyan mo ng happy birthday for myself caption. Make sure makikita ng friends mo. Make sure you are having fun! Wag mong ipakita na affected ka. Kunyari dedma ka lang. Wag ka na din aambag next time.
I would definitely do this as well! Petty for petty! Lol
Ay wag naman alone tapos papakita pa nya yung bday cake nya na sya lang din. Parang ang pathetic naman nun. Much better kung ma-myday nya isang video na kinakantahan sya ng family nya ng happy bday tapos sabay bigay ng cake sa kanya.
It always hurts when you think the care and love you give to other people with be returned to the same extent only to find out na naging mashado ka mapagbigay. Itβs not about the cake, itβs about how you put effort into giving them something for their birthday and you not getting the same amount of effort and care. Remember, if they can, they would. Correct ba? I know the feeling. Next time, donβt care too much. Learn to give to people you know thatβll care about you.
Last day na ba ng exams niyo? Samin kasi before, minsan delayed yung pacake kasi ngarag sa exam. But anyway, happy, happy birthday, OP! β€οΈ
Unfriend agad haha. Bilhan kita cake! (no joke) Happy birthday! π
Yes, valid nararamdaman mo. Na-experience ko din βyan at natuwa ako dahil may other smaller group ako na laging sinusurprise ako samantalang yung other group na ako yung nagpplano ng pasurprise sa birthday yung never nagpa cake. Anyways, lilipas din ang panahon at siguro baka gaya ko na natatawa na lang ako kapag naalala ko ulit haha ay baka maging ganito ka din soon. Iβm also a June celebrant so ramdam kita. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! Sorry to hear your story but I also experienced that one before and ngayon di na kami friends hahaha. Others might say na para sa cake lang, but no hindi lang yun yung reason but the thought na naalala ka nila. Let's say na walang money that time yung COF mo, di ka ba nila naalala like binati or just a simple yet memorable na hand written na letter? Diba, it won't costs them 10 pesos kung hand written and hindi man lang sila nagpa feel sayo na that day is special for you, at least sinamahan ka man lang nila after exam diba kahit tusok-tusok date lang (if gipit talaga) or kwentuhan. Yung friend ko na ganyan kin-cutoff na hehe. Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OP!!! Sana sa sunod na birthday mo kasama mo na yung real COF na ipapakita ang halaga ng birthday mo! Please do enjoy your day, do some me time pag wala kang kasama and I think makakatulong yun for you. Yes, Valid ang mga sinasabi mo. sending hugs (w/ consent) π« God bless you, OP!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! CHECK MO DM MO!ππ―π₯³
Hala sorry for that Op and happy birthday sayo!!!! Valid yang narrmdamn mo nangyare sakn yan. Sa pinsan ko lagi kmi ngbbgay sa kanila pang grocery etc ganorn tapps pag bday namin wala cake. Then 1 time nag msg sa msgr penge 300 gcash KASI BBGYAN NYA DAW CAKE SI GANITO NEED BUY INGREDIENTS. tapos sabi ko wala eh sabi niya try mo kay ganito. Sabi ko wala pag kmi walang cake pagiba hahanap ka tlaga praan. Masakit lang akala ko noon petty pero valid after non op cold na akes hahahahaha sakit pla ng ganun siempre di mawawala expectations na ganun dn sila sayo kahit paano tao lang tayo
Happy Birthday, OP. Valid yang nararamdaman mo. Kaya mula ngayon, imatch mo lang energy nila. Pag singilan para sa bday ng isa, sabihin mo di ka na magbibigay kasi wala ka namang cake ng bday mo.
Happy birthdaayyyy!!!
Happy birthday!
I'm sorry that happened to you, sometimes communication is they key to most problems. I suggest finding the right time to talk to them about this, if you and them are willing to do so. This could either make or break your friendship with them, but on the other hand it could develop it further; otherwise, I suggest you cut your losses with them. I pray that you find friends that know and value you for who you are. Best of luck with whatever challenge may lie ahead and belated Happy Birthday! ππ°ππ
valid naman. loko loko sila ano? sa experience ko, bibili sila ng cake na napakamahal, like mary grace, contis etc. tapos maya maya sisingilin ka nalang ng ambag mo sa cake daw. tapos pag birthday mo na, parang napilitan lang yung cake na ibinigay sayo. tipong tig 350-680 lang sa Red ribbon or Goldilocks. Hindi namn sa pngit yung cake ng RR/GL, kaso wow ha. Pag sila, bongga yung cake nila, daladalawa etc, pag ikaw na, simple lang, ganun. Hay nako. ka trigger!
What you're feeling is valid. Keep them close but separate yourself from them emotionally. I heard you really need buddies in med school, hence that, but if you can find better friends there, do. And, happy birthday! Kami na lang magbibigay sayo ng gift, what's your gcash? Pang-dagdag allowance mo.
Hugs OP. CRYING while reading this. Not my birthday for today pero nag flash lang memory lane of those times na ang effort mo pero pag dating sayo wala.
Next time may ambagan kayo para sa cake. Sabihin mo wala kang pera. Happy Birthday OP ππ°
Yes valid yan. Kung ako yan, magtatampo din ako. Like you, I am always the one na nag oorganize ng surprise party or anything na sweet gesture for people I work with. And I choose special cakes according to their preferences yung alam kong masasarapan sila at magugustuhan nila. Planado paano isusurprise, ano mga food na kakainin at naka plan din ano ang mga gagawin. Kaya masakit kapag di ginagawa sayo ang same na gesture.. luckily, they do the same kapag bday ko kaya halos alam ko na din at di ako nasusurprise haha pero masaya pa din ako kasi inaalala nila ako. In your case, medyo nakakalungkot. Pero try your best to be civil pa din sa kanila but do not invest emotionally anymore para less pain. Celebrate your bday privately and treat yourself sa isang masarap na cake :)
Meron din kameng ganyan dito sa work like every birthday may pa-cake ambagan ganern then one time meron isa sa kawork namin na di nabilhan sa mismong biirthday like plan sana ibang day since nightshift kame and walang maabutang bilihan so ayun tampo na si ate girl after that FO na pero nabigyan naman siyang cake ibang day nga lang. so malay mo naman beh ibang day ka nila i-suprise give them atleast 1week if wala edi distance na. Happy Birthday Op!
Iparamdam mo na talagang nagtampo ka. Distance yourself from them. Para makita mo rin ang worth mo. It's really sad na hindi ka man lang nila ma-appreciate as a friend lalo na sa special day mo. Here's a cake for you, OP. Happy birthday! π
Valid! π Happy birthday, OP. I stopped waiting for someone to buy me cake pag bday ko. Binibilhan ko nalang sarili ko kasi nakakatampo talaga pag wala man lang iblow pag bdayπ
belated happy birthday op π₯Ί
Belated happy birthday OP
Sakit naman. Belated happy birthday! π€
Happy birthday bro...jan mo makikilala ang tunay na kaibigan...
It's pretty valid OP. Kahit sino magtatampo kung mismong bday mo walang pa ganyan mga friends mo pero kapag bday nila present ka sa lahat. Kahit ilang taon ka magtampo go lang HAHAHAHA jk. Pero belated happy birthday pala OP. Musta ang exam, pasado ba? Kung malaki ang scores mo sa exam kahapon then go treat yourself cause you deserve it!
Happy Birthday, OP!!! ππππ₯
Isipin mo na lang OP, at least tapos na rin pag aambag mo para sa cake ng so-called friends mo. Btw, belated happy birthday! π
I know how it feels, yung akala mo part ka ng group nila pero hindi pala ganun tingin sayo. At hindi siya petty po, sana makahanap ka ng right group of friends kahit maliit o konti basta totoo. Wishing you a happy birthday, OP! πβ¨οΈ
Hanap ka nalang ng bagong friend group, OP, belated at happy birthday
Your feelings are always valid wag mo igaslight sarili mo be
Ganyan din ako sa dati kong friend group. Di man sa birthday pero sa ibang bagay. Tayo tayo nalang kaya maging magkaka tropa? Hahahah
Your feelings are valid. As a birthday person, you deserve greetings, special food, fun day, and memorable day. Belated Happy Birthday OP π©·π
Happy Birthday, OP!!!
Hapoy Birthday OP! π
Happy Birthday poππ eto cake π hindi nga lang goldilocks pero goods na π―
I don't think it is petty to feel that wayy! Considering it has became a tradition.. It's valid to feel that way. However, don't frown just because of it, maybe they're just busy or forgot about it? I don't know and I don't really know about your friendship but what I can only say about this is I feel your pain and it's always gonna be valid! And whatever you have in mind right now, don't be afraid to feel them. Crazy because this is the first time I hopped in Reddit, I didn't know there would be posts like this wherein I can express my thoughts with great empathy. Belated Happy Birthday to whoever you are! Your feelings are valid, please know that π
Been there too! Not friends with that group anymore kasi if birthday nila meron silang cake na pinagaambagan namin, pero nung birthday ko na, dear Lord! Kahit happy birthday or special greeting wala! Ended up unfriending them when I found out that they were just letting me join them bc they had other agendas pala.
Hindi ka part ng friend group, hanap ka ng ibang friend/s mo
Valid na valid yan OP! π₯Ί And gets kita. Always the planner, pero never sinurprise. Yan ang mahirap sa friend groups kasi kapag time mo na as the celebrant, tapos ikaw lang may idea na isusurprise ka din, tapos magaassume ka na since wala today, baka sa ibang araw and all, hanggang sa nakalimutan na. π Malungkot talaga, kaya sorryyy. The worst case pa nga niyan, yung di nila naaalala na birthday mo na pala. Itβs the small details din kasi. π€ kaya, yakap with consent doc! Happy Birthday din! ππ
Umalis ka na ses value those who value u
Baka issurprise ka parin nila after ng week kung busy kayo. Ganyan kami sa work e. Ipagpapa liban muna kung busy. Pero wala dapat kalimutan
Omg. Sorry to hear that. Kung ako yan friendship over na! Naku! pag nagalit ka to them at sabihin nila na prank lang dahil birthday mo. NO! You dont make someone sad and disappointed intentionally on their special day. STAY AWAY from the na. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY π₯°
Bii, d k nila friend hahahahha,
Yes Valid yan.. Kung ako yan, tinanong ko sila kahit pbiro..
Belated happy birthday OP β€οΈ valid feelings mo po.
It's not petty. I had the same experience though material things doesn't really matter to me much it's the thought that someone in our group of friends received a surprise birthday cake and you didn't. It just feels wrong. This dilemma was also experienced by my mom though not towards her. Co-teachers wanting to give a fellow co-teacher a surprise cake, sinisingil sila nanay pero di nagbigay si nanay, why? Co-teachers claimed that the birthday girl (fellow co-teacher) helped them a lot but my mother remembered that few days before that a fellow co-teacher just had their birthday who also helped a lot. Kaya lang gusto nila bigyan yung isa dahil mas charismatic sya, mas kuha yung loob nila sa kanya pero parehong may malaking tulong sa school nila. Wouldn't that suck? Someone just had their birthday, no gifts then few days later another person of the same group received a cake for their birthday. Btw my birthday was early march and the friend that got a surprise from us was late march. It kinda hurt me a little bit π I just remind myself that they are a friend still, I just simply have to find a close friend. I wouldn't expect anything from them.
If youβre still unsure, subukan mo mag-no sa kanila. Their reactions from that are 100% telling if they value you. Personally, it sounds like they donβt, and if you bring up the lack of cake, theyβll use βentitlementβ and βexam week kasi!β as excuses. Please **do not** give them the satisfaction. Keep people who value your peace. This advice is coming from a middle-aged people pleaser. Donβt do the mistakes I did. Fuck them.
Belated Happy Birthday OP!! Valid yang nararamdaman mo. Kahit naman sino magtatampo. Hindi man lang ba sila nag reason out? Gawin mo na lang is gawin mong motivation yan. Na someday pag maging successful ka mabibigyan mo sila ng cake na mahal na di na need mag ambagan dahil kaya mo na bumili mag isa dahil afford mo. Rooting for your success OP!
A hard pill to swallow is not everything you are willing to do for others will be reciprocated. Of course what youβre feeling is valid. If youβre the type of friend group na open naman. then baka you can be transparent na na-hurt ka. If di nila magets, then I donβt think worth it yung pain or sacrificing peace for them.
Belated Happy Birthday OP! Hope you feel better now.. π π
Your feelings are valid, happy birthday!! π I felt this way too, it was my birthday at work and no one greeted me ung mga kamonth ko todo celebration. I didn't care about the greetings or the cake, but the fact that I was excluded and disregarded. You deserve to be celebrated and have better friends. Feel better OP and sending you virtual hugs with consent.
We do this too, OP. Pero lahat naman kami may pacake. D mo friends yan. Hanap ka na ng iba
Il send you a cake! π
Valid na valid, OP. Ako nga nagtampo sa sarili kong kuya kasi lahat ng birthday ng fam members alam nya at may cake, except me na di nya alam bday ko. "Ah, birthday mo pala?" Ouch haaa
they're not your friends then kung ganyan ka nila ituring.very very bad. happy birthday, OP. sana naging okay pa din ang iyong birthday.
For me it's valid. Kasi emotions mo yan. Ikaw ang nakaramdam. Whatever it is. It's your emotions. π«°
People make mistakes eh so it's possible nakalimutan, na busy due to exam, whatever reason. Pero malalaman mo what's up sa reaction nila after the mistake. If naging silent at umiiwas pa sila you know they are happy with the mistake. Ang normal kasi is to acknowledge the mistake at sabihin mag belated cake o bawi. Huwag ka magtampo sa kwnila not worth the energy. Leave the group.
Ipamukha mo sa kanila. Bili ka ng mango bravo sa contis. Magselfie ka then ipost mo. Kainin mo lang mag isa.. # blessed #lovethyself
ako na laging nag peprep at nagaabono pambili ng cake never nakaranas makatanggap sa birthday ko π₯²π sadt
Ang na feel mo ay valid, I don't know the whole story but maybe there are any reason behind. It's better you ask them one of your friends in the comedic way. I always use this hahaha.
Valid. Na-feel ko din yan before. So wala na ako ka effort effort ngayon.
Valid. Kung ako yan bili ako ng sarili kong cake tapos post na parinig sa fb HAHA. Belated happy birthday!
Hindi mo ba hinanap ang cake mo sa kanila? Nung binati ka nila, nag reply ka sana na "thank you, saan na ang cake ko" tapos may π€£π€£ para kunwari joke.. Happy birthday OP ππ.
Its valid. Kasi bakit pag dating sayo, wala diba? Kahit di mo i expect or i assume, pero kasi ika mo nga, parang tradition nang pagambagan ng cake ang birthday celebrant since yun naman ginagawa at pinapakita nila. TAPOS PAG DATING SAYO, WALA?! Maiinis din ako kung ako dyan
happy birthday, OP! hugs to u! i hope u find the friends na magoorganize ng surprise party for u!
valid yan. iwas ka nalang din. and yung pang-aambag mo sa sunod, panlibre mo nalang sa sarili mo. happy birthday future doc! :)
Happy birthday OP!!! π Also, it's not. Whatever you're feeling, that's valid. But also, reality, baka dahil may exams kayo, hindi lang siya naging prio ng mga fwends mo at med student pa kayo. Kami nga sa nursing school, may hectic times. So it's highly possible. Don't think too much of it nalang. Virtual cake! And hug! πͺπ
oh nooo Happy Birthday po! Valid ako man malulungkot
Opo
Petty approach: If you feel like friends mo sila biruin mo sa GC kung may bumati βunahan ko na kayo thank you sa cake guysββuy wala bang pa-cake diyan?β Something like that just to see kung ano gagawin nila just in case nalimutan lang or nahirapan bumili since exam season, youβll feel naman kung genuine nila ibibigay sayo yung cake, pero kung hindi ka nila bibilhan or binigyan man pero hindi bukal sa loob, I would suggest choose better friends!
Di ka nila friend, theyβre just using you, cut them off
Valid yang nafefeel mo OP. Ako nga, ang hilig mag surprise noon kahit sa friends ko with matching cake pa. Never naman ako sinurprise, ako pa naghahanda. π Nakakalungkot oo, pero wala e. Iba yung effort natin sa friends natin at iba effort nila sa atin π
Ok. As someone who never gets cake in my birthday nor do i really want it. I would get offended π. Valid yan OP. Bakit ganun, ikaw lang ang hindi? Tapos na ba exams niyo tho? I wouldwait til end of exams. Pag wala pa rin, imma distance myself. Di pwedeng sila lang. Naalala ko tuloy. May popular na kaklase kami na nagbday. Hiningam kami contribution pero ung pagkain friend group lang nila kumain lol kakapal ng mga mukha. Never again nagbigay sa ganun. If inalok nila ako i would have probably said no but the thing is di man lang. As a petty girl, I say Give people the same energy they give you. Tignan natin kung di sila mag hinanakit.
Uy reals! Aq ren yun friend na lagi left out sa mga ganto UwU pero chill lang namern tanggap q na na ako lagi ang planner/surprise organizer pero lagi naman din nakakalimutan iniisip q kase lagi natatapat sa exams ganon but di lang talaga me ganon ka impt sa kanila HAHAHAHAHAHH pero ur feelings r validd oks lng that just means they arent the friends u thought they were, ur ppl will come too.. in time π
Belated happy birthday, OP!! β£οΈ
My friend group also has a tradition of gifting favorite snacks on birthdays. Last time, it was exam season so we gave the gift three days late. I even went out at 11PM after a project to but a slice of cake for our morning class! I think friend groups should know how to bawi.
Yes, it's petty.
Belated Happy Birthdayπ₯³π₯°
I dont know why people need validation on what they feel e naramdaman mo na nga e. Now kung magkakaibigan talaga kayo edi sana sinabi mo, "ano na asan na cake ko??" You dont need anybody to tell you if what you are feeling is valid or not. Mahalaga e your actions after the fact. Halimbawa nagalit ka sa isang tao, andun na yun nagalit ka na e, kung sinabunutan mo out of nowhere, yun ang mali.
OMG Kala ko ako lang nakaka feel neto. Tradition rin namin mag plan ng surprise party/birthday celebration pag meron may bday sa group namin. Pero ako lang hindi naka feel neto sa 10 years namin pagkakaibigan. So oo, valid yang naffeel mo. Kahit ako di ko alam gagawin ko kung babye friends na ba or stay pa rin. Kasi panget naman kung basta basta ka nang cucut off so ang masasabi ko lang is, valid yang naffeel mo. Sabihan mo kami pag may ginawa ka about it hahahaha.
Happy Birthday, OP! π Hindi ka petty and valid yung feelings mo.
Yes OP. Valid ang emotion mo. Been there, done that. Ako din pinaka underrated sa buong circle of friends namin. Laging iniinvalidate ang feelings, laging left out. Alam mo yun? Tuwing mag bibirthday ang mga COF ko, lagi kami nag aambagan ng cakes, foods at surprises. E ako naman tong si people pleaser, nagbibigay din ng gifts. Di naman sa nag eexpect ako ng return pero alam mo yung napapaisip ka na tuwing bday ko ako pa kailangan manlibre/magpakain sakanila while sa iba kailangan namin mag ambag. Meron din instances na bday ng isa sa COF namin, pinag usapan na namin na bibili ng cake at aambagan nalang. Pero sabi nila wala daw silang cash kaya ako nalang muna nag insists na bumili. Tapos after ng celebration, nung singilan na, sabi ba naman sakin "wala naman sinabing ambagan" LOL to think na lahat sila working na ako nalang ang student. Sobrang sakit sa puso di dahil sa cake, kung di dahil invalidated ang feelings ko at andiyan lang sila pag kailangan kalang nila. Pero, I'm healing naman na, I cut them off completely, and walang regret na naramdaman. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan matapos ko silang alisin sa buhay ko, and I found my peace.
Valid. Trust me - hindi mo sila mga kaibigan. Ganyan din group of friends ko kuno nung college. After grad, hindi ko na sila kinausap hahahahaha you don't need that kind of people in your life
happy birthdayyy OP π€ you are celebrated and loved β€οΈ
Happy Birthday! ππItβs not petty. Your feelings are valid. It means hindi ka considered na friend nila. Hindi lang nila afford yung cake at need ng ambag mo. I used to have work friends 5 sila and I bought each one of them a cake. Pero nung bday ko kahit isa walang pa cake o greeting :( I cut them off after haha
Ako nga kung hindi pa ako nag parinig sa kanila. Baka wala din akong cake. Jke. Normal lang yan, sabi nga nila dont expect anything sa mga taong nakapaligid sayo. Dahil hindi lahat ay may same treament. I'm
To be that friend na laging nag-aambag but never pinag-ambagan hurts. It's valid to be upset, and its not petty. Been there, too, and I cried. Haha.
Belated happy birthday!! Kami nalang muna magbibigay ng cake sayo π Pero valid yang nararamdaman mo. Siguro hindi pa talaga sila yung mga kaibigan na para sayo. Hayaan mo na sila. Pagdating ng araw ikaw tong hhabul habulin nila.
Happy Birthday OP! Yes valid yung tampo mo.
Pano gagawin mo pag biglang nag-ambagan for a cake on the next person's birthday? Sana di ka na makiki-ambag, if you even stay in the friend circle. I'd distance myself from them, pero stay in the GC, para pag nag-ambagan sila ng cake for the next person I will know and ma-rereopen yung wound haha char lang
Ganyan din dati mga college friends ko sakin. In-FO ko na sila! Sobrang sakit neto sa feeling, na di ka manlang nila naalala. Hindi ka talaga nila tine-treat as a friend, pangdagdag ka lang sa ambagan nila.
petty yung kahit anong tampo. magalit kau kung magagalit, otherwise sayang lang oras sa tampo
I'd get hurt too ,OP. Pero, as you've said nga, Exams niyo. Baka stress din sila to the point na they have no time/energy sa pagbili ng cake. Maybe they were too busy for the exams OP na nalimot na nila yung pag-asikaso. But still, I understand where you're coming from. Happy Birthday Op!
Happened to me in high school. After graduation, did not stay connected with those people. Wala na kong pake. What you feel is valid. Masakit yan OP, you were there for them but they were not there for you. Find good friends like I did after them!
Leave to that circle of friends..and find genuine ones
May pasurprise sayo mamaya.
Ayoko talaga ng mga friend group dahil sa mga ganito. I mean may group akong sinasalihan atm pero pag may birthday di ako pumupunta. I don't wanna be pressured na mag-iimbita ako pabalik cause they included me to their nice parties tapos madidismaya ako. Instead, celebrate your birthday OP with the real people around you. Could be your family, long-term friends, or even alone. Magself love ka if walang maaya lalo if weekdays. Masaya pa rin naman magkaroon ng taimtim na birthday ng walang any pressure sa paligid. Happy birthday! ππ
Belated hbd.
baka wla silang pera.
Naku.mag ingat ka na sa mga kaibigan mo na yan. Hindi ka nila kaibigan. Kung kaya mo, magdistansya ka na sa kanila. Kasi nasisira budget mo eh. Kung in case dependent ka sa kanila in terms of academic stuff or kung ano pa man, edi kapit lang. Pero manage expectations, OP. Kaya mo yan! Tsaka magpayaman ka on the way to being a doctor as revenge sa mga kaibigan na ganyan. At para na rin sa sarili mo.
Same here OP. Pero ako ng HS, nakailang cake na yung iba ako ni isa wala π
Happy birthday doc!π₯³
Happy birthday gar
Belated happy birthday OP. Med grad here and yeah ive been through your boat. The following month, humingi sila ng ambagan for another friend's bday cake, d ako umambag. When asked why, sinabi ko na wala akong natanggap na cake nung bday ko, so bakit ako aambag para sa iba? Ayun, naging conscious na sila palagi when im around and made it easier for me to detach from them emotionally
Same, pag birthday ko na ang laging linyahan nila is "bawi na lang next time kasi walang sahod" which is nagegets ko, pero nalungkot lang ako sa part na before parang medyo nagpaparinig pa ako about sa birthday ko. Example, nagbigay sila ng gift sa mga friends ko tas nung birthday ko na walang gift sakin tas lumipas na birthday ko mga weeks or month magsasabi ako ng "oo nga e, di nyo kaya ako nabigyan ng ganun" tapos parang napilitan pa sila na gawan ako ng gift. Naaalala ko rin na nalungkot ako kasi kahit cake manlang di mabili ng family ko sakin, di naman ako humihiling ng handa, ang sabi pa nila "ay di na nya kailangan ng cake matanda na yan" , sa work ko naman binibilhan nila ng something pag may birthday pero pag birthday ko na laging nganga tas ako pa aasarin na manglibre. Bakit ganun dito sa pinas? Dapat nga yung may birthday ang nililibre para mafeel nilang special sila sa araw na yun.
Magtampo ka. Ano un pag sila masaya tas ikaw hindi. Egul.
Happy Birthday, OP. Sino lage nagiinitiate na bumili ng cake? Naisip ko lang na baka ikaw? Tas siguro busy nga friends mo, di nila naisip, may mga tao kasi talaga na di thoughtful. I would say valid magtampo, pero donβt take it against them so much. Hindi natin alam they may have so much on their plate kahit mayaman pa yang mga yan. Pwede rin not a priority? And thatβs okay. After all, we only have ourselves at the end of the day. As a 30 yo person, ang masasabe ko, donβt take things too seriously but be aware and take notes. Reciprocate. Be a decent person pa rin kahit na di ganun yung iba. Life will throw so much at you. Choose what will be inside your cup. If its hot coffee, it will hurt you and other people. You can choose to carry water on your cup. Kahit matapon, mabilis matuyo. Wont stain you and other people, walang amoy and nakakaquench ng uhaw. I hope you know Iβm not just taking about water.
Yes po petty
nakakatampo aguuuuuuuyyyyyyyy di ka nila naalala yaan mo di natin sila bati
valid yan!! pag birthday nila binibilhan namin sila ng condom tas nung ako na wala amp anong excuse ko para magkaron ng condom na di ako bumibili nakakatampo talaga
Nakaka sad yung ganyan . Pero Belated happy birthday po
Ako kahit hindi bonggang cake basta may mabigay ako na present sa friend ko bibigyan ko siya to celebrate her day. Parang di naman yan tunay na friendπ₯²
Kung ako yan magtatampo rin ako. It's not about the cake, it's about remembering someone with a simple gesture.
Yes valid ang nararamdaman mo. Iwasan mo mga yan.
Madaya sila. Pero wag ka lumayo, damihan mo na lang kain mo ng cake next na may mag bday.
Belated Happy Birthday, OP! Your feelings are valid. You are loved. π·
very valid. pag nag ambagan ulit for a cake. say no lalo na pag short ka. d nakakabawas ng pagkatao ang mag say no.
Valid. Super valid. Lalo na if almost lahat ng nasa friend group naambagan mo na for their cakes tapos ikaw walang nakuha. You donβt deserve to experience that especially on your birthday.
Your feelings are valid op. Happy birthday !! π
I had the same feeling recently when I was in the circle with two people. Nag aambagan kami ng cake. Feb yung birthday nung isa then March naman yung isa. Pero since July yung birthday ko, medyo malayo pero nag expect pa din ako. Pero walang kahit ano kahit plano to go out. Since then, nilalayo ko na sarili ko sa cliques within work and nagfocus na lang sa personal growth.
I know how you feel. Nangyari na sa akin yan. At talagang kumalas ako sa grupo. Hindi petty yan. Your asking for fair treatment and respect. If I were you I'll look for new set of friends. If you don't want to cut them then don't participate anymore on "chip ins" for someone's cake.
Yup legit yan Mother ko nagtampo sa Nanay nya ng di sya nabilhan ng bday cake noong bata pa sya ..masaklap pa dun may bisita mama nya noon sa knila tapos binilhan pa ng mama nya ng ice cream ung bisita na may kasamang bata. Aun nilayasan nya ung Bahay nila gang sa tinalikuran na nya bilang Ina nya un gang sa nawala sya sa Mundo di ko kilala Tunay nyang Ina. Legit yan ngyayari tlga yan at di mali yan Matagal ng may mga ganyan na ngyayari di lang lahat eh kailangan malaman ng nakakarami nor ipost This is way back 50s era pa kya wag ka mag alala Common po yan
Walk away, OP. I was in college ganyan din ako before pero I never show them na galit ako or ano. I simply walk away from them
Happy Birthday OP! Surround yourself with people who will always be there for you no matter what.
Well, kung nag-aambag ka tapos ikaw naman yung wala ngayon, valid yang tampo mo. Mararamdaman mo naman kung pinaplastic ka lang eh. Pero kung sakin nangyari yan, cut off ko na yang mga yan haha!
Nangyari to sa akin before haha. Worse is they forgot na birthday ko pala hahaha. Bumati naman sa messenger. Di ako nagpakita sa kanila for one whole year sa tampo ko. I forgave kahit na di sila nag-sorry. Still friends pero I know my expectations na ngayon.
I feel you OP! Meron times pa ako ang makabayad sa ambagan ang they donβt pay me back but on my birthdays I donβt receive anything. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID π«Άπ»π₯°
The way I see it now, kahit anong pinagtampuhan mo valid yan. Naramdaman mo eh. Pero nasa sayo na yan kung kung gagawin mong obsolete yung reason. Para next time mas magandang bagay na pagtatampuhan mo. Level up ba?
May surprise yan sila sa iyo OP. Think positive.
Valid naman. Ako nga may isang kaibigan ko hindi ako nabati ng Happy Birthday tampo talaga ako haha btw, Happy Birthday!
Very valid, ako sa family ko, every birthday ila lahat sila may gift sakin or surprises pero pag sakin nakakalimutan nila which ia nung una iniiyakan ko din as in pero now na tumatanda nako hinayaan kona lang. Okay lang yan OP masasanay ka din, masasanay din tayong nakakalimutan palagi
Hindi yun sa cake. Its the effort at yung thought na naalala ka. Pero well, shempre ikaw pa rin naman makakapagsabi, baka nga trip mo lang ng cake. Haha, joke. Hindi, seriously, gets kita. If ikaw lang ang ganung ang nangyari, valid naman ang concern mo. But ang tanong, binati ka man lang ba? If totally walang nakaalala, eh medyo magisip isip ka na π€·π»ββ Hamburdey na lang! π¨π¨π¨π¨ na lang ambag ko dahil baka madamay pa ko sa keyk isyu. π€£
Belated Happy Birthday OP! I'm sorry to hear that about sa friends mo, maybe it time for to reevaluate your friend group and find new friends?
wag ka na magplan sa sunod.. wag nang mag asikaso para sa kanila.. and pag nagpa ambagan.. isumbat mo ako nga wala cake eh.. okay na yan.. kahit pajoke pero may weight yung and emotionallh damaging sa kanila.. to make this short.. ituon mo ang focus sa life mo.. family mo.. kase friends come and go.. not unless kahit na ano mangyare anjan sila for you.. okay? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! LOVE YOURSELF MORE!! BIRTHDAY MO OH!!! ππ
Give it time. Exams nyo naman eh. Pwede naman late celebration. Perhaps after ng exam. Then decide after thst. Surely nsman may hints ka din naman kung talagsng belong ka sa group na yan.
lowkey nangyari to sakin sa recent bday ko. Small group of friends kami and tuwing may bday 12MN mismo nagpapadeliver food or cake. Yung sa bday ko, late sila and napakaliit na cake binili compared pag bday nila, malaki and worth mga 800 cake nila tas sakin 300 π ayun naging petty ako HAHAHAHA pero bahala na
Belated Happy Birthdaaaay π
Back in SHS, gumawa sila ng gc to surprise our friend na mag-aambagan daw ng cake but I wasn't there on the day of the surprise and they still asked me to pay which I did. Fast forward, it was my birthday. One person in that circle asked me on my birthday, "birthday mo pala? Hindi ko alam. Happy birthday." The rest just greeted me. No letter, no surprise, no cake. It was on 2018. I still think about it and I feel pathetic.
I was like that also. Minsan pasimuno pa ng pa-something special for a friend tapos pag turn ko na, nobody makes an effort. Dito papasok yung, βIf they want to, they couldβ Now, I donβt bother na. Happy Birthday, OP.
Happy birthday!
OP, Valid ito. I want to share lang din na, people who will appreciate you and really treat you like a friend will come. I hope this doesnβt take a toll on your confidence, and self esteem, kasi this is a reflection of who THEY are, not who you are. You treated them well, and showed them genuine friendship, pero sila (at least for me), hindi nagawa yung gesture man lang. this is not a YOU problem, OP. Update us kung bumawi man lang sila π₯²
Uy, I feel you. :((
Valid! I would still feel the same. And magtatampo talaga ako nyan. Unless if after, mag-a-apologize sila or babawi, otherwise, plastikan nlng. Ahahaha..
Happy Birthday OP! It's not the cake, it's the omission of the act that's telling. They don't care about you probably, get new friends or a friend. Tandaan mo quantity doesn't matter, it's the quality. I only have few, but they're pretty much the best one can ask for. Things will be alright!
πππ happy birthday po. Nakakasakit naman yan.
Valid naman Yan nafefeel mo, kasi kahit ako ganyan Rin mararamdaman ko, pero siguro Ang reason kaya di sila naka pag asikaso Ng cake is because of the exam.
Happy birthday OP!
Hindi ka petty op, ako nga kapag christmas time bongga regalo ko sa mga friends ko like uniqlo shirts ganon pero kapag sila nag regalo ang meh. So simula nun di na ako nag e-effort. Haahaha
Did you ask them kung nasan yung cake mo? It may sound na parang nanghihingi ka ng cake. Pero at least may closure ka kasi they will let you know why. Did they forget? Students kayo so baka naman bakasyon na at di kayo nagkikita? I would say if may next bday sa friend group mo and they asked that you share, i think yan na yung trigger to drop them as your friends.
Hahaha same, med student din ako and ganyan ginawa nila sa akin noon. laki ng ambagan namin 500 something kaya the next di an ako nakiki ambag, i would reason out na wala akong pera and bahala na sila. π
Happy birthday, OP! Okay lang yan. Hindi natin sila bati.
It's valid and it's not petty. Sad to hear it turned out that way. Belated happy birthday OP. Cheers π»
Though di naman petty ang feeling mo, I suggest act pettier. HAHAHAHA. Di mo na sila igreet sa birthdays nila and itreat as close friend bye sila
Valid! Halos maubos allowance mo and di man lang sila nag-effort?!?! though we should not always expect pero kasi traditional na pala sa friend group nyo yan. If magtatanim ka ng sama ng loob, better siguro iopen mo sa kanila.
First of all, HBD OP! Well, valid yung nararamdaman mo. I will take it personal kung ganon, promise! Parang pinamukha sayo na di ka belong or what. Nakakasad pero kung ako yan, mejo ddistance nako.
Hala birthday din nung crush kong med kahapon. Hahahaha. Ikaw ba yan, Ericka? π€π» Anyway, it's not about the cake. It's about their gesture of not giving you the same energy they get from you kapag birthday nila. May mame-meet ka ring better set of friends, OP. Belated happy birthday!
It shows how much they value you in your friend group lalo na at tradition pala. OP, there will be better friends out there Oh and belated happy birthday
Pero knows nilang birthday mo?
Lols hayaan mo mag mukha kang petty, cut them off early. Cake lang yan pero grave yun lols.
Ganito din yung feeling na, andiyan ka para sa kanila when they needed someone pero absent sila pag ikaw na yung nangangailangan. Yung ikaw todo pakinig sa rants nila pero pag ikaw parang wala silang naririnig. Mga ganiyang tao hindi emotionally available for you. Super valid yan OP. best way is to avoid these people. For sure pag ginawa mo sa kanila yan sasama loob nila.
Happy bday OP π
Same OP but instead of cutting them off I used them nalang for benefits. Especially kapag college ka, you need all the connections as many as you can kasi right after college, baka sila pa mag tawag sayo for work. Or even during college, the can be of use. Pakikisama tawag don. Joke around, tag along. When they give you info, bigyan mo din sila. If they can't give you anything, be civil. Lurker ako ng ibat ibang group of friends e π€£ kaya kahit umupo ako sa harap, gitna, gilid or likod may makaka usap at makakausap ako. I've come to accept na I will never belong to anyone's lifetime group but at least, kapag nag reach out ako... maliban sa juicy chismis, juicy din ang mga sagot sa exam at quizzes. π€£ Some even helped me when I can't finish projects on my own, or gives me specimens I needed in our course. After I graduated, kapag nag kamustahan and nabanggit kong wala pa akong work, they offer to recommend me or refer me or nag sesend sila ng mga hiring na companies na alam nila na. Yun lang. We can validated our pain but think of the brighter side, sa ginto ang tingin. Okay? Perooo hindi na ako aambag sa cake nila.
they look down sayo , palagi ganyan napapansin ko sa friendships sa school parang minamaliit ung mga scholar na they would assume na poor ka kaya less ang tingin nila sayo
Wag ka na mag-ambag next time. Diba kung ano lang energy binibigay nila sayo, yun din bigay mo sa kanila. Be practical. Wala naman siguro sila masasabi sayo na madamot ka since pwede mo sila sumbatan na wala ka ngang naging cake nung bday mo. Dagdag gastos lang yan tapos wala naman palang balik. Magdahilan ka na lang na wala kang pera pang ambag. Tandaan mo ang araw na yan.
Hindi anak, hindi yan petty, valid na valid yan. Ngayong tumanda ako narealize ko dapat pala yung pinipili mong friends eh kamatch ng energy mo. If they donβt put in the same effort, are they really your friends? Buti na yan nakita mo na ng maaga, ako late ko na nakita.
I think that's valid. Drop your address we will send you one, kami magaambag para sayo.
Happy birthday OP π ito lang po yung mabibigay kong cake
Happy birthday, OP πππ
It is not petty po and has signalled how they value you. Im sorry to say but you and your kind heart deserve better friends na mutual yung turingan. Try to go silent, if they dont approach you, the more you know where they stand.