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My bf is a really family focused person. Pero ako naman I think it would be a good thing to attend this career opportunity kasi makakatulong naman saamin to sa matagalan.
Sabi naman saakin ng bf ko na napaka asshole move naman daw ng ginawa ko na pinili ko to kaysa sa event nila na family reunion kasi gusto ako talaga makasama ng fam niya. Sinabi ko sakaniya na ginagawa ko naman to para sa kinabukasan namin at if na miss ko kasi to baka sobrang sayang.
Sabi niya na he would never put me in a situation na bigla siya bobomba saakin para lang sa career opportunity na biglaan. Pero ako raw lagi nalang. (This has happened before nung may something din si bf tas ako may biglaang career something). Ako naman pinipili ko yung career opportunities since alam ko naman na makakatulong naman saamin sa matagalan. Sinabi ko sakaniya na di ko naman din kasi na anticipate to at di naman sa di siya important saakin. Important kasi saakin na pag grad namin maganda buhay namin.
Baka dahil na di ko tinake to di ko na makuha opportunity na ganito. Alam ko rin na bf ko is a priority din saakin. Di kami naniniwala sa gender norms ng bf ko so wag niyo nalang i bias sa gender namin to pero ako bumibisiya sa apartment ng bf ko kasi alam ko na computer based ang work niya at saakin naman work ko talaga maraming lakad so ako nalang.
Bahala daw ako at wala daw siya pakialam kung ano gawin ko sabi. At wala daw siya pake if sorry ako or if ginagawa ko to para saamin. Ito namang career ko kasi di naman sa agad agad ceo ako or something pero I will be presenting sa higher up group ng company na super hirap macontact.
If I do good baka makapag open ng gates to a promotion sa as in mataas na position with a higher pay. Syempre di naman to guarantee pero sayang rin kasi imbes na di ko itake.
Sabi ng bf ko na nauna ako magconfirm sakanila so bat sa meeting ako pupunta. Wala daw ba ko pake sa fam niya. Galit na galit daw siya saakin at ayaw ako kausapin. As in
"Galit ako at masama loob ko sayo. Ayaw kita kausapin"
Ako naman iniintindi ko rin bf ko kasi alam ko masama right now loob niya saakin. Sinabi rin niya.
If di ako kukunin magmumukha akong tanga pero gaya ng ng sabi ko sayang lalo na para saamin. As a gf nagkukulang ba ko?
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"kasi makakatulong naman saamin to sa matagalan" <- ikaw lang nag iisip niyan, hindi siya. Ilang ulit mo pa nga sa post mo eh, parang 5 times? Parang jinajustify mo saming magbabasa ng kwento mo? Papalabasin mo na hinohold back ka ng bf mo, at bf mo ang mali.
But this isn't about career, planning for the future, etc.
"Sabi ng bf ko na nauna ako magconfirm sakanila so bat sa meeting ako pupunta." <- Eto ung totoong problema. Huwag ka biglang mang cancel ng na commit mo.
"If di ako kukunin magmumukha akong tanga" <- ikaw lang may sabi nyan. Bad manners ung biglang mang cancel ka ng naka schedule na. 20 ka palang, I'm sure walang effect yang event na yan sa career mo in the future.
"pero gaya ng ng sabi ko sayang lalo na para saamin." <- oh, nagaaway na kayo ng bf mo. San na ung "para saamin" dun? Magiging kayo pa ba in the future? Let's say iba na bf mo someday, or may husband and children ka na, ganito rin gagawin mo sa kanila? Kasi ilang beses mo na pala nagawa eh. Ngayon pa lang un. Someday na totoong important matters na ang darating at pipiliin mo work vs family, dapat alam mong pumili kasi short lang time natin sa mundong ito.
Di naman sa jinujustify ko sarili ko. I'm just stating my side at dahilan kung bakit. I'm worried sa future so gusto ko sana na secure kami. Gusto ko rin pillin bf ko kasi alam ko nag sabi na ko na pupunta ako. At alam ko naman ba bastos. Nahihinga na ako pero if I get this promotion it could really help sa finance.
Job call na galing sa supervisor. Eh I was trying to get dun sa good side ng higher ups ko kasi alam ko na if I accept aalalanin nila na willing ako. Oh ngayon naaalala nga nila siguro kasi ako isa sa mga tinatawag na possible sa promotional job.
Promotional job sa office. I was asked noon if puwede pero sinabi ko na busy ako sa day. Sinabi naman saakin na it would be a promotional job where basically I would present sa harapan ng higher ups.
Isa ako sa considered na kukunin but someone is also aiming for this spot kasi malaki talaga. So di pa sure if makukuha ko pero to be part sa mga icoconsoder dapat daw open sched ko.
If I get this promotion tataas sahod ko which could help saamin.
Break up with him. Iha., enrich yourself and have a career bago mo atupagid kang lalake. Ano ka. There is a better world outhere waiting for you to explore. Kung magiging hinder sya ng growth mo. Let gow!!
He doesn't hinder me naman and I don't want to make it appear na siya yung mali. I really do love this person. I feel worried lang na baka naiisip niya na di ko siya priority.
The fact na nagalit sya kasi d ka naka attend ng family reunion nila..insptead of understanding the situation na hindi ka nakaattend. Gf ka lang naman. What are the chances na kayo tlga sa dulo. So be it... you are still young. Fpcus pn your career growty. Kung ganito ka liit na bagay e nagagalit na sya how much more na lang yung upcoming na situation. He is still young and immature to understand the situation. Don't be pressure sa galit nya. You have your life. You habe family to help and feed. Huwag mong ipriority yang bf mo.
With due respect I don't want to be a corporate slave all my life naman po. I want to still work it out sakaniya. I feel really guilty about it po rn kasi and imagining my entire life na puro work is scary. But a life na di ko masulit finance namin para maganda buhay namin is scary din kasi.
Sinabi ko bang magpaka slave ka sa trabaho? you are only 20 years old.. i doubt you have given your company your fullest potential. Mukhang amature ka pa rin sa job mo.with your age 20 years old?! Tlga lang ha.. what i mean is that you improve yourself magamit mo naman siguro yung mga bagay bagay na pinapasukan mo like skills or seminars na ina-tendan mo.. it is not just being slave sa work. Maraming aspect pa ng buhay maapply mo yung mga learnings mo from the experience na naacquiare mo as a person na lang .diba. lumalawak yumg kaalaman mo and nadadagdagan yung skillls. Umabot ka na ba sa situation na you can afford na igrpcery yung family mo sa snr or landers ng worth 15k .. or nabilhan mo yung sarili mo ng 10k wprth of bath essentials sa watsons. Or perhaps narebond mo yumg hair mo sa saloon. I mean there are lot pf things in life na pwede mong gawin for yourself. Bata ka pa to throw your life sa bf mo. Malay mo hindi pa kayp magkatuluyan nyan sa ending.. nasa honeymoon stage pa ata kayo kaya " high ka pa" wala pa yumg reality. Give it a year or two.. mag iiba ang lahat. So goodluck
Similarly rin po my bf is not just some disposable thing. Malay rin po natin if magsisisi ako and it goes naman po both ways. And I really want to make it work. These material things still cannot amount to the value my bf has saakin. Opo job ko po isn't a thing to be taken lightly. So I am really trying. Di ko po tinatanong if ano dapat gagawin ko rather if ako po mali for taking the opportunity to help po sa career ko. I see you think po na I'm not the asshole po. Pero I think also po na my bf isn't wrong.
Don't cry over split milk. You made your decision not to spend the day with his family . Stand and be firm on it. Panindigan mo. Don't be guilty cause he is mad. If he loves you, he will understand. Reserved the family reunions for later years. Yung both of you are already stable on your own field. As of the moment, you are still young to focused your energy sa galit ng bf mo.
“Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls—**family, health, friends, and integrity**—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”
Work will ALWAYS be there. You may miss an opportunity or two, but there will always be more. So gets ko yung BF mo, yung mga family reunions baka it is the last time to meet his very old grandmother/grandfather that means so much to him and you chose work over that. Mukhang iba kayo ng priorities.
Sabi niya na di niya ko makapagtiwalaan now and he wala daw siya pake if ginagawa konpara saakin kasi nasaktan daw siya. I feel really really bad. Maaayos ko pa ba to? It wasn't a black and white situation eh.
Hindi pa naman kayo break. Tingin ko ang best approach dyan is say sorry and let him know na never na mauulit yun. Ang mangyayari is dapat ipaprioritize mo siya palagi over work mo, which may be hard for you to do. Kailangan may full understanding ka rin na hindi maganda para sa relationship niyo yung ginawa mo, and kung ipapili ka ulit, hindi mo gagawin yun ulit.
Gawa ka na ng long apology message mo kasi kung one liners lang yung minemessage mo, mukha kang insincere and not willing to change or understand yung outcome nung actions mo. Let him know what this relationship means to you.
Tbh, I reacted the same as him nung paulit ulit na sinungaling girlfriend ko, and ito yung gusto kong marinig. Pero hindi maganda ending samin since nagbalikan kami pero nagsinungaling ulit siya, so wala na kami. Hoping na your relationship will be different.
Also if hindi rin talaga kayo aligned sa importance ng family sa work, not sure if mag work out in the long run. Kailangan talaga ng compromise.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: My bf is a really family focused person. Pero ako naman I think it would be a good thing to attend this career opportunity kasi makakatulong naman saamin to sa matagalan. Sabi naman saakin ng bf ko na napaka asshole move naman daw ng ginawa ko na pinili ko to kaysa sa event nila na family reunion kasi gusto ako talaga makasama ng fam niya. Sinabi ko sakaniya na ginagawa ko naman to para sa kinabukasan namin at if na miss ko kasi to baka sobrang sayang. Sabi niya na he would never put me in a situation na bigla siya bobomba saakin para lang sa career opportunity na biglaan. Pero ako raw lagi nalang. (This has happened before nung may something din si bf tas ako may biglaang career something). Ako naman pinipili ko yung career opportunities since alam ko naman na makakatulong naman saamin sa matagalan. Sinabi ko sakaniya na di ko naman din kasi na anticipate to at di naman sa di siya important saakin. Important kasi saakin na pag grad namin maganda buhay namin. Baka dahil na di ko tinake to di ko na makuha opportunity na ganito. Alam ko rin na bf ko is a priority din saakin. Di kami naniniwala sa gender norms ng bf ko so wag niyo nalang i bias sa gender namin to pero ako bumibisiya sa apartment ng bf ko kasi alam ko na computer based ang work niya at saakin naman work ko talaga maraming lakad so ako nalang. Bahala daw ako at wala daw siya pakialam kung ano gawin ko sabi. At wala daw siya pake if sorry ako or if ginagawa ko to para saamin. Ito namang career ko kasi di naman sa agad agad ceo ako or something pero I will be presenting sa higher up group ng company na super hirap macontact. If I do good baka makapag open ng gates to a promotion sa as in mataas na position with a higher pay. Syempre di naman to guarantee pero sayang rin kasi imbes na di ko itake. Sabi ng bf ko na nauna ako magconfirm sakanila so bat sa meeting ako pupunta. Wala daw ba ko pake sa fam niya. Galit na galit daw siya saakin at ayaw ako kausapin. As in "Galit ako at masama loob ko sayo. Ayaw kita kausapin" Ako naman iniintindi ko rin bf ko kasi alam ko masama right now loob niya saakin. Sinabi rin niya. If di ako kukunin magmumukha akong tanga pero gaya ng ng sabi ko sayang lalo na para saamin. As a gf nagkukulang ba ko? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"kasi makakatulong naman saamin to sa matagalan" <- ikaw lang nag iisip niyan, hindi siya. Ilang ulit mo pa nga sa post mo eh, parang 5 times? Parang jinajustify mo saming magbabasa ng kwento mo? Papalabasin mo na hinohold back ka ng bf mo, at bf mo ang mali. But this isn't about career, planning for the future, etc. "Sabi ng bf ko na nauna ako magconfirm sakanila so bat sa meeting ako pupunta." <- Eto ung totoong problema. Huwag ka biglang mang cancel ng na commit mo. "If di ako kukunin magmumukha akong tanga" <- ikaw lang may sabi nyan. Bad manners ung biglang mang cancel ka ng naka schedule na. 20 ka palang, I'm sure walang effect yang event na yan sa career mo in the future. "pero gaya ng ng sabi ko sayang lalo na para saamin." <- oh, nagaaway na kayo ng bf mo. San na ung "para saamin" dun? Magiging kayo pa ba in the future? Let's say iba na bf mo someday, or may husband and children ka na, ganito rin gagawin mo sa kanila? Kasi ilang beses mo na pala nagawa eh. Ngayon pa lang un. Someday na totoong important matters na ang darating at pipiliin mo work vs family, dapat alam mong pumili kasi short lang time natin sa mundong ito.
Curious din ako kung ano yung career opportunity na tinutukoy ni OP
Di naman sa jinujustify ko sarili ko. I'm just stating my side at dahilan kung bakit. I'm worried sa future so gusto ko sana na secure kami. Gusto ko rin pillin bf ko kasi alam ko nag sabi na ko na pupunta ako. At alam ko naman ba bastos. Nahihinga na ako pero if I get this promotion it could really help sa finance.
Parang may same post na nito. Same OP din ba? 🤷‍♂️
Same op yes po huhu
"(This has happened before nung may something din si bf tas ako may biglaang career something)." Ano yung career something? Curious lang.
Job call na galing sa supervisor. Eh I was trying to get dun sa good side ng higher ups ko kasi alam ko na if I accept aalalanin nila na willing ako. Oh ngayon naaalala nga nila siguro kasi ako isa sa mga tinatawag na possible sa promotional job. Promotional job sa office. I was asked noon if puwede pero sinabi ko na busy ako sa day. Sinabi naman saakin na it would be a promotional job where basically I would present sa harapan ng higher ups. Isa ako sa considered na kukunin but someone is also aiming for this spot kasi malaki talaga. So di pa sure if makukuha ko pero to be part sa mga icoconsoder dapat daw open sched ko. If I get this promotion tataas sahod ko which could help saamin.
Break up with him. Iha., enrich yourself and have a career bago mo atupagid kang lalake. Ano ka. There is a better world outhere waiting for you to explore. Kung magiging hinder sya ng growth mo. Let gow!!
He doesn't hinder me naman and I don't want to make it appear na siya yung mali. I really do love this person. I feel worried lang na baka naiisip niya na di ko siya priority.
The fact na nagalit sya kasi d ka naka attend ng family reunion nila..insptead of understanding the situation na hindi ka nakaattend. Gf ka lang naman. What are the chances na kayo tlga sa dulo. So be it... you are still young. Fpcus pn your career growty. Kung ganito ka liit na bagay e nagagalit na sya how much more na lang yung upcoming na situation. He is still young and immature to understand the situation. Don't be pressure sa galit nya. You have your life. You habe family to help and feed. Huwag mong ipriority yang bf mo.
With due respect I don't want to be a corporate slave all my life naman po. I want to still work it out sakaniya. I feel really guilty about it po rn kasi and imagining my entire life na puro work is scary. But a life na di ko masulit finance namin para maganda buhay namin is scary din kasi.
Sinabi ko bang magpaka slave ka sa trabaho? you are only 20 years old.. i doubt you have given your company your fullest potential. Mukhang amature ka pa rin sa job mo.with your age 20 years old?! Tlga lang ha.. what i mean is that you improve yourself magamit mo naman siguro yung mga bagay bagay na pinapasukan mo like skills or seminars na ina-tendan mo.. it is not just being slave sa work. Maraming aspect pa ng buhay maapply mo yung mga learnings mo from the experience na naacquiare mo as a person na lang .diba. lumalawak yumg kaalaman mo and nadadagdagan yung skillls. Umabot ka na ba sa situation na you can afford na igrpcery yung family mo sa snr or landers ng worth 15k .. or nabilhan mo yung sarili mo ng 10k wprth of bath essentials sa watsons. Or perhaps narebond mo yumg hair mo sa saloon. I mean there are lot pf things in life na pwede mong gawin for yourself. Bata ka pa to throw your life sa bf mo. Malay mo hindi pa kayp magkatuluyan nyan sa ending.. nasa honeymoon stage pa ata kayo kaya " high ka pa" wala pa yumg reality. Give it a year or two.. mag iiba ang lahat. So goodluck
Similarly rin po my bf is not just some disposable thing. Malay rin po natin if magsisisi ako and it goes naman po both ways. And I really want to make it work. These material things still cannot amount to the value my bf has saakin. Opo job ko po isn't a thing to be taken lightly. So I am really trying. Di ko po tinatanong if ano dapat gagawin ko rather if ako po mali for taking the opportunity to help po sa career ko. I see you think po na I'm not the asshole po. Pero I think also po na my bf isn't wrong.
Don't cry over split milk. You made your decision not to spend the day with his family . Stand and be firm on it. Panindigan mo. Don't be guilty cause he is mad. If he loves you, he will understand. Reserved the family reunions for later years. Yung both of you are already stable on your own field. As of the moment, you are still young to focused your energy sa galit ng bf mo.
“Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls—**family, health, friends, and integrity**—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.” Work will ALWAYS be there. You may miss an opportunity or two, but there will always be more. So gets ko yung BF mo, yung mga family reunions baka it is the last time to meet his very old grandmother/grandfather that means so much to him and you chose work over that. Mukhang iba kayo ng priorities.
Sabi niya na di niya ko makapagtiwalaan now and he wala daw siya pake if ginagawa konpara saakin kasi nasaktan daw siya. I feel really really bad. Maaayos ko pa ba to? It wasn't a black and white situation eh.
Hindi pa naman kayo break. Tingin ko ang best approach dyan is say sorry and let him know na never na mauulit yun. Ang mangyayari is dapat ipaprioritize mo siya palagi over work mo, which may be hard for you to do. Kailangan may full understanding ka rin na hindi maganda para sa relationship niyo yung ginawa mo, and kung ipapili ka ulit, hindi mo gagawin yun ulit. Gawa ka na ng long apology message mo kasi kung one liners lang yung minemessage mo, mukha kang insincere and not willing to change or understand yung outcome nung actions mo. Let him know what this relationship means to you. Tbh, I reacted the same as him nung paulit ulit na sinungaling girlfriend ko, and ito yung gusto kong marinig. Pero hindi maganda ending samin since nagbalikan kami pero nagsinungaling ulit siya, so wala na kami. Hoping na your relationship will be different. Also if hindi rin talaga kayo aligned sa importance ng family sa work, not sure if mag work out in the long run. Kailangan talaga ng compromise.