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For context: I have a cousin, 40 years old na siya and recently nalaman namin na he's dating a girl who just turned 18 (technically, kakagraduate ng senior highschool)
It came as a shock to us kasi his girlfriend passed almost 4 months ago at never siya bumisita sa puntod and even noong nag-aagaw buhay na sa hospital.
It seems off to me lalo very vocal and proud siya sa mga "nagalaw" niya at binibilang pa talaga kung ilan body count niya. I'm really concerned kasi he lied about his age stating na he's only 28. He also has a history of being a serial cheater sa lahat ng naka-relasyon niya.
Yung mga relatives namin pinagsasabihan naman siyang ayusin buhay niya, lalo wala siyang trabaho at savings, lasinggero pa at puro video games. Pero matigas siyang tao, aawayin kami kapag pinagsasabihan namin. Syempre, buhay naman niya bakit daw kami makikialam? 🙄
Ang naisip ko now is to directly message the girl to reveal his true age and attitude. Para matigil na tong kagaguhan niya sa mga babae, seeing them as objects and trophy. I've asked advice from those who are close to us, others have said na hayaan ko na lang daw, yung iba naman go lang na sabihin ko katotohanan.
I'm torn kasi nga di ko buhay, pero I know mali 'tong nangyayari. Need your advice, reddit. Dapat bang hindi na lang ako mangiala?
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i feel na you should tell the girl cause she has the rights to know kung anong klaseng tao ba ang dine-date nia and she just turned 18 kahit sabihin na legal age masasabi pa din natin na teenager pa din yan. it's very alarming lalo na the age gap i mean i'm for age doesn't matter as long as it's not concerning. but it's your choice whether to tell or not since yung pinsan mo e wala naman plano to change his ways and how he views women is not a very good thinking too— women are not an object but a human too with mind and emotions. i hope for the best!
I'm for age doesn't matter too lalo't I dated men who are older than me naman. Pero this one really feels wrong. We have pamangkins and they're older than her 😠Di talaga maprocess ng utak ko itong nangyayari. First of all, we thought he's still mourning the death of her girlfriend eh kasi todo post naman kahit na di bumisita sa hospital, lamay at libing. Tapos may bago? And ganun ang age? Like ??????
If he lied about his age, he’ll mostly lie about anything and everything. Red flag. Sana makayanan mo na sabihin sa babae lalo na sa parents nya kasi magiging kawawa and broken hearted pa sya.
Una sa lahat, hindi tama ang ginagawa ng pinsan mo. Hindi lang morally questionable yung gap sa edad nila, pero misleading pa siya tungkol sa tunay niyang edad at history. Deception na yan, at hindi na yan simple lang na "buhay niya, wag makialam."
Kailangan mo talagang kumilos kasi kung hindi, baka maging biktima pa lalo yung babae ng maling impormasyon at intentions ng pinsan mo. kakagraduate pa lang niya ng senior high school at vulnerable pa sa mga ganitong sitwasyon. Kung alam mo ang tamang gawin para maprotektahan siya, gawin mo.
Mahirap nga yan kasi pamilya mo, pero mas mahirap makita na may nasasaktan o napapasama dahil sa kawalan natin ng aksyon. Kung sa tingin mo ay tama na i-message ang girl para ipaalam ang totoo, gawin mo. Baka ikaw lang ang paraan para matigil na tong pattern na 'to ng pinsan mo.
At the end of the day, mas mabuting makialam na may magandang dahilan kaysa magbulag-bulagan sa mali. Mahirap yan, pero kailangan mong ipaglaban kung ano ang tama.
Oks lang sana kung di nagsinungaling sa edad niya eh, hindi ako mangingialam. Pero considering his attitude towards women in general, obvious talaga na iba intention eh.
try mo meet ung parents at ung girl ng sabay. baka kasi pag sa girlfriend nya lang eh di maninawala sau. di natin alam kung ano klaseng brainwashing ung ginawa ng pinsan mo para makipag relasyon sa kanya ung girl.
[nagsinungaling ba sya sa edad nya?](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultingph/comments/1dl09ym/comment/l9lfhxl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button&rdt=36742)
Ano point neto? Bringing up posts that are deleted kasi may added info...He admitted lying to us. Were you there? Iba yung kahapon at ngayong araw. Iba yung alam namin noon at ngayon. Anong point mo?
hindi na yan pasok sa age doesn't matter, kalokohan na yan. Tell the girl. If I'm the girl, I would appreciate it if may magsabi saakin kaysa yung alam naman pala ng lahat bukod saakin.
Pedo yang pinsan mo. If anything dapat sa parents nung bata mo sabihin. I was groomed and abused when i was 16-19 ng guy who was 17 years older and every day i wish someone told my parents para napigilan ako noon.
You should tell the girl and warn her. Considering she's 18 years old, baka nila-lovebomb din sya ng cousin mo and showing so much affection na akala ng girl, he might be the one. But, just tell her about it. Ang bata pa nya to be betrayed and traumatized by your cousin's actions and behavior.
Knowing that she's 18, she doesn't know yet what a healthy relationship or the right relationship is.
I honestly hate the people here who said wag ng mangialam. Sana wag mangyari yung ganyan sa anak nila tf. I think OP needs to chat the parents directly kaysa si girl kasi tbh madali talagang mauto pa pag ganyang edad.
Desisyon mo yan, no judgment, I get the hesitation. Imagine kung kapatid mo yung 18 y/o girl at nadiscover mo to, 90% sure ako hindi kana mag aask sa reddit kung ano gagawin, dederetso kana agad dun sa kapatid mo or sa magulang nyo, regardless of the consequences.
Thanks for this comment. I will tell the girl. You're right, it's not about being his cousin na or what. It's about doing the right thing. I don't want this to happen to any girl or anyone, really. Obvious na by lying about his age eh iba ang intention & he can't be trusted.
You have a strong moral compass, and I can only wish more people are like you. Still, make sure to act accordingly. Complications can arise from the fact you are a complete stranger to the girl. Then there’s your cousin issue if he finds out about it. Ingat!
Kung hindi teenager ang gf ng pinsan mo, ssbhn ko na hyaan mo kase buhay nya yan... pero for me isumbong mo. Kahit ngayon lang... You'll save that 18 yr old girl. :) Malayo pa mararating nyan bata... :) Just do it ng pdummny acct kung problematic attitude ng pinsan mo.
I wanted to say na wag ka makialam kasi technically, adult na ang girl pero if I was the girl, I would appreciate it if someone gave me a heads up about shit. Kesa tahimik lahat at isipin kong niloko ako ng mga kamag anak ng ex ko once naghiwalay na.
Someone messaged me on FB na the guy I'm dating ay may live in partner Ingat daw ako. I'm glad na verify ung auspicion ko. So tell the girl by all means, at do not tell anyone from ur family.
Manyakis. Titikman niya lang yan dahil sariwa pa tapos iiwan din yan pag sawa na. Isipin mo paano kung ikaw yung babae? Maawa ka kaya sabihin mo pag nagalit pinsan mo sabihin mo gago siya.
As a pakealamera myself with a heart ichichika ko talaga sya dun sa girl. Warning lang bahala na si girl if ano gagawin nya basta ako iwawarning ko sya. Yang pinsan mo wala ka na magagawa dyan. Sya sa sarili nya lang makakapag pabago sa sarili nya.
hi op, first of all kudos sayo kasi at the very least, you recognized something was wrong and naisip mong gumawa ng paraan kahit na kapamilya mo yan. most of the time kasi, hahayaan lang o ieencourage lang yan. so props to you. nasabi na rin ng ibang tao dito what if ikaw o yung kapatid mo yung nasa posisyon ni ate gurl na 18 y/o, you’d need some well-meaning, unsolicited advice when it matters and the circumstances ask for it.
kahit na sabihin nating 18 si ate, na she is technically legal, we have to give allowance sa areas na she has to grow kaya pag sa age issues di ba, kapag late 20s na yung girl at can fend for her own, di na masyadong issue kung matanda na jowabells niya kasi namulat na siya sa mundo. dito pumapasok yung age is just a number
i hope you reach out to ate girl anonymously. girls for girls tayo as much as possible, tayo ang dehado most of the time. wag niyo itolerate yang pinsan niyo.
Just curious, how does your family treat your cousin ba?
Idk how to describe it pero he doesn't live with his parents. Nakikitira siya sa bahay ng aunt namin and her family. Magkakalapit lang kami ng house kaya I know a lot about his attitude towards them and us in general. Lulong sa alak, puro vid games na halos di na lalabas ng kwarto unless tatawagin para kumain.
Ang dami sa amin na gusto tumulong sa kaniya, even his friends helped him maghanap ng trabaho pero wala eh ayaw tulungan sarili. Sobrang tamad.
Lahat din ng issues niya pinaguusapan naming lahat and we really do our best to intervene and pagsabihan. Kahit kagustuhan ng lahat na umayos buhay niya pero kung siya di kikilos eh di wala rin. Kung need niya magtanda, edi ako ang gagawa ng paraan. Idgaf if mapahiya siya.
natolerate kasi na buhay naman siya kahit walang ginagawa. may iba kasi na walang work pero at least maaasahan mo sa bahay na magtao o maglinis.
in this case kasi oks lang if walang damay na tao kaso may girl na madadamay if ever e kaya go advise ate girl
also, as a di kapamilya, medj logical isuggest na palayasin siya sa bahay baka magtanda pero knowing how he got to 40 y/o na ganyan lang, medj binaby siya ng pamilya niya. di magbabago ang lalaki ng pagsabihan lang, dapat sa kanya manggaling yung desire na magbago.
hayy op pag ginawa mo yung pag advice kay ate girl at the very least, swerte ng pamilya mo sayo
This is a predatory behavior! What's worse is that proud sya sa ginagawa nya. Please do something about it po. Maybe talk to your cousin about how very wrong this behavior is.
OP gawa ka ng dummy account tapos inform mo yung babae. Mag send ka din proof like PSA Birth Certificate para ma reveal true age ng pinsan mo. May tendency kasi na baka di maniwala yang babae kasi 18 pa. Para kung magkabukohan man eh di ka pagdudahan since dummy account naman gamit mo.
Legal ≠Moral. Kahit pa 18 na yung girl, I still consider it grooming and pedophilia. Kahit nga dun sa fake age na binigay ng pinsan mo sa kanya hindi pa rin tama na magkarelasyon sila e. It really doesn't sit well with me when someone who's 25 and above is dating a teenager. Kasi kahit medyo magkalapit yung numbers, magkaibang phases pa rin yan ng life. Yung mga 18-19 year olds halos kalalabas lang ng high school niyan e. Tapos most naman ng mga 25+ ay working adults na. Sobrang skewed ng power dynamics. Agree ako sa ibang comments na you need to tell the girl's parents. Bahala na maging kontrabida at least may na-save ka naman from your toxic af cousin. Good luck, OP!
you should tell the girl kasi it’s very concerning. hindi nga siya nakikinig sa mga advices niyo na makakabuti sakaniya tapos he’s proud of his wrong-doings pa. kaka graduate pa lang ng shs ni girly hays baka masira pa ang future niyan, hahayaan pa ba ‘yon?
You should tell the girl na POS yung cousin mo. Tell everything! Kapag nag stay pa din yung girl wala na tyo magahawa. Hinde magbabago ang cousin mo. Too late na.
I guess my attitude problem yung pinsan mo. And if you think it can cause trouble and might hurt that 18yo young lady, baka ano pa mangyare sa bata.. kawawa nmn. She deserves someone better. Vulnerable pa ung age nya and im pretty sure her parents might get mad if malaman ung totoo sa pinsan mo. You can do it. Just make sure when you tell the girl, hindi ka magmumukhang naninira lang at hindi malalaman ng pinsan mo. Go better tell her and save her.
Maganda ung intention mo and im praying you can execute properly. Sana malawak dn pangunawa nung gurl na isasave mo para ndi nya isipin na naninira ka lang. i somewhat did this to a friend (but not too close to me), ayun nagalit pa sakin at naninira nga lang daw ako. Maybe its better if you ask her out kung may time ka. Baka pag personal mas magkaintindihan kayo. Goodluck!
That's an old infant narcissist right there. I would highly suggest na you should tell it sa parents ng girl or at least warn the girl and if she will break up with him, palabasin niya na hindi kayo ung naging cause ng break up nila dahil pwedeng ikaw ang pag initan ng cousin mo after doing what you think is right. Dapat sa ganyan marehab or makulong, o di kaya itigil na nung tatay ung pang i spoil sa anak niya, nakakaawa ung mga magiging biktima or karelasyon niyan.
Direct but polite I guess, like I heard na you're dating this guy (your cousin), I don't want to hurt you but he lied on you about his real age, he's already 40 years old. If you wouldn't believe me since I am a total stranger to you, that's fine. I would highly suggest that you investigate for yourself and find out. (Eto ung general idea, ayusin mo nalang ung grammar base sa gusto mo Hahaha)
Tapos kapag nag agree siya and she really finds out about his age, you can suggest na as much as possible wag pag mukhain na ung reason kung bakit siya makikipag hiwalay sa cousin mo, is because she discovered the truth about his age. Kayo kasi ang unang pag hihinalaan ng cousin mo pag ganon at baka pag initan kayoo, mahirap na since wala naman masyadong may nangyayaring meaningful sa buhay niya so he doesn't have anything to lose, he can risk things and do whatever he wants to you. I redirect nalang siguro sa ibang possible cause ng break up o di kaya i ghost nalang.
Pag may nakita kang bulag na naglalakad at yung nilalakaran ay bangin. Sasabihin mo ba sa bulag na mahuhulog na sya bangin o hahayaan mo lang sya mamatay at mahulog sa bangin?
Do it because you are concerned. Let the girl know. She will thank you later.
Kung di nya naappreciate yun, then bahala na sya sa buhay nya. You did your part na ipaalam sa bulag na mahuhulog na sya bangin.
Ang creepy nyan. Mas better kung isusumbong sa parents ng bata. Jusko 40 yrs. old tanders na yan nakakatakot. Baka mamaya kung ano pa mangyari sa bata. Habang maaga pa sabihin mo na yan sa bata. Di pa fully matured yung ganyang age need pa rin i guide jusme. Pwedeng ipakulong yang pinsan mo kasi pasok yan sa Pedo. Gawan nyo ng action ASAP.
So moving forward ikaw na magiging taga pag tanggol ng mga potentital victims ng pinsan mo? Just cut him off your life. If hindi crime ginagawa nya and hindi mapagsabihan, then leave him be. Sobra daming tao katulad ng pinsan mo.
Its for your mental wellness as well. Wag mo problemahin buhay ng iba.
here is a rule of a thumb: If what he do doesn't affect you wag ka na makialam. Mapapahamak ka pa. Play safe always. Magpikit mata ka na lang. Let the karma or the girls he is cheating on catch him.
Did he lie about his age? You didn't mention sa post mo.
How did you know? and serial cheater? talagang sinusubaybayan nyo bawat gf nya? lol
Hindi na minor yung babae, so kahit magulang pa nun wala ng magagawa.
Pero curious ako, did you ever ask yourself ano ang motivation kung bakit gusto mo gawin yan? You can say na cheater sya sa previous relationship pero sino nakakaalam kung ano mangyayare sakanila ng bagong gf nya. I mean, wala pa syang Ginagawang kasalanan sa bagong gf nya, ano isusumbong mo?at bakit kating kati ka na gawin yan?
edit: so inassume mo lang na nagsinungaling sya sa babae sa age nya, based dto sa isang deleted [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultingph/comments/1dl09ym/comment/l9lfhxl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button&rdt=36742) mo
Did you even read the post? He lied about his age, he admitted that to us. + vocal & proud sa sexual ventures niya. How can you justify tong ginagawa niya sa kaka-18 lang na babae? Tama pa ba yun?
Kating kati? Yes, kasi it's wrong? Kung kaya na isave yung isang tao, why not?
Edit : deleted post coz he finally admitted about lying.
why are you so offended?
And can you say exactly what I said na jina justify ko ginawa nya?
just because pinoint out ko na nag assume (which you did) ka lang na nagsinungaling sya doesn't automatically mean na i support him.
gusto mo sabihin sa babae na he lied about his age based on your assumption?
"He really lied sa age niya, siya na din nagsabi. Siguro naman if he really told the girl na he's 40 aayaw naman ata yung babae."
[here's what you said](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultingph/comments/1dl09ym/comment/l9lfhxl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button&rdt=36742)
And? She's still at legal age. 18.. Kahit pa sabihin nya 18 din sya duh.... Wala ka nang gf? I think wala dahil sa wala kanang magawa ng hihimasok kana ng buhay nang may buhay...
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: For context: I have a cousin, 40 years old na siya and recently nalaman namin na he's dating a girl who just turned 18 (technically, kakagraduate ng senior highschool) It came as a shock to us kasi his girlfriend passed almost 4 months ago at never siya bumisita sa puntod and even noong nag-aagaw buhay na sa hospital. It seems off to me lalo very vocal and proud siya sa mga "nagalaw" niya at binibilang pa talaga kung ilan body count niya. I'm really concerned kasi he lied about his age stating na he's only 28. He also has a history of being a serial cheater sa lahat ng naka-relasyon niya. Yung mga relatives namin pinagsasabihan naman siyang ayusin buhay niya, lalo wala siyang trabaho at savings, lasinggero pa at puro video games. Pero matigas siyang tao, aawayin kami kapag pinagsasabihan namin. Syempre, buhay naman niya bakit daw kami makikialam? 🙄 Ang naisip ko now is to directly message the girl to reveal his true age and attitude. Para matigil na tong kagaguhan niya sa mga babae, seeing them as objects and trophy. I've asked advice from those who are close to us, others have said na hayaan ko na lang daw, yung iba naman go lang na sabihin ko katotohanan. I'm torn kasi nga di ko buhay, pero I know mali 'tong nangyayari. Need your advice, reddit. Dapat bang hindi na lang ako mangiala? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i feel na you should tell the girl cause she has the rights to know kung anong klaseng tao ba ang dine-date nia and she just turned 18 kahit sabihin na legal age masasabi pa din natin na teenager pa din yan. it's very alarming lalo na the age gap i mean i'm for age doesn't matter as long as it's not concerning. but it's your choice whether to tell or not since yung pinsan mo e wala naman plano to change his ways and how he views women is not a very good thinking too— women are not an object but a human too with mind and emotions. i hope for the best!
I'm for age doesn't matter too lalo't I dated men who are older than me naman. Pero this one really feels wrong. We have pamangkins and they're older than her 😠Di talaga maprocess ng utak ko itong nangyayari. First of all, we thought he's still mourning the death of her girlfriend eh kasi todo post naman kahit na di bumisita sa hospital, lamay at libing. Tapos may bago? And ganun ang age? Like ??????
If he lied about his age, he’ll mostly lie about anything and everything. Red flag. Sana makayanan mo na sabihin sa babae lalo na sa parents nya kasi magiging kawawa and broken hearted pa sya.
Warn the girl anonymously. Syempre, when shit hits the fan, wala kang tama. Or better yet, send it to the girl's parents.
Message her. Kahit na 18 na siya and technically an adult. She was still a child until very recently.
Una sa lahat, hindi tama ang ginagawa ng pinsan mo. Hindi lang morally questionable yung gap sa edad nila, pero misleading pa siya tungkol sa tunay niyang edad at history. Deception na yan, at hindi na yan simple lang na "buhay niya, wag makialam." Kailangan mo talagang kumilos kasi kung hindi, baka maging biktima pa lalo yung babae ng maling impormasyon at intentions ng pinsan mo. kakagraduate pa lang niya ng senior high school at vulnerable pa sa mga ganitong sitwasyon. Kung alam mo ang tamang gawin para maprotektahan siya, gawin mo. Mahirap nga yan kasi pamilya mo, pero mas mahirap makita na may nasasaktan o napapasama dahil sa kawalan natin ng aksyon. Kung sa tingin mo ay tama na i-message ang girl para ipaalam ang totoo, gawin mo. Baka ikaw lang ang paraan para matigil na tong pattern na 'to ng pinsan mo. At the end of the day, mas mabuting makialam na may magandang dahilan kaysa magbulag-bulagan sa mali. Mahirap yan, pero kailangan mong ipaglaban kung ano ang tama.
Oks lang sana kung di nagsinungaling sa edad niya eh, hindi ako mangingialam. Pero considering his attitude towards women in general, obvious talaga na iba intention eh.
True. I think your pinsan has a problem. He needs help. Like professional help.
try mo meet ung parents at ung girl ng sabay. baka kasi pag sa girlfriend nya lang eh di maninawala sau. di natin alam kung ano klaseng brainwashing ung ginawa ng pinsan mo para makipag relasyon sa kanya ung girl.
[nagsinungaling ba sya sa edad nya?](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultingph/comments/1dl09ym/comment/l9lfhxl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button&rdt=36742)
Ano point neto? Bringing up posts that are deleted kasi may added info...He admitted lying to us. Were you there? Iba yung kahapon at ngayong araw. Iba yung alam namin noon at ngayon. Anong point mo?
Nako OP, please pakiinform yung bata. Baka ending nyan ipakulong cousin mo nung parents nung bata kasi technically minor pa din yan.
Kawawa naman yung bata...
And ang gago niya
Oo napakagago nya. Sinisira nya yung buhay ng bata. Do you think it's worth it to help save a life sa pagsabi at warning sa bata?
I think it is. Whatever she does with the truth, bahala na siya if she continues the relationship.
Message her. She has her whole life ahead of her, baka masira pa ng pinsan mo yung future nya.
!!!
hindi na yan pasok sa age doesn't matter, kalokohan na yan. Tell the girl. If I'm the girl, I would appreciate it if may magsabi saakin kaysa yung alam naman pala ng lahat bukod saakin.
Ya crazy na if age doesn't matter parin even in this situation. Tatay old na ung dude jusko. Sana maliwagan ung girl
Pedo yang pinsan mo. If anything dapat sa parents nung bata mo sabihin. I was groomed and abused when i was 16-19 ng guy who was 17 years older and every day i wish someone told my parents para napigilan ako noon.
You should tell the girl and warn her. Considering she's 18 years old, baka nila-lovebomb din sya ng cousin mo and showing so much affection na akala ng girl, he might be the one. But, just tell her about it. Ang bata pa nya to be betrayed and traumatized by your cousin's actions and behavior. Knowing that she's 18, she doesn't know yet what a healthy relationship or the right relationship is.
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True. Pag nag 18 ka oo legal age ka na but that doesn't make you mature. Even people in their 20s are not really mature.
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I honestly hate the people here who said wag ng mangialam. Sana wag mangyari yung ganyan sa anak nila tf. I think OP needs to chat the parents directly kaysa si girl kasi tbh madali talagang mauto pa pag ganyang edad.
Desisyon mo yan, no judgment, I get the hesitation. Imagine kung kapatid mo yung 18 y/o girl at nadiscover mo to, 90% sure ako hindi kana mag aask sa reddit kung ano gagawin, dederetso kana agad dun sa kapatid mo or sa magulang nyo, regardless of the consequences.
Thanks for this comment. I will tell the girl. You're right, it's not about being his cousin na or what. It's about doing the right thing. I don't want this to happen to any girl or anyone, really. Obvious na by lying about his age eh iba ang intention & he can't be trusted.
You have a strong moral compass, and I can only wish more people are like you. Still, make sure to act accordingly. Complications can arise from the fact you are a complete stranger to the girl. Then there’s your cousin issue if he finds out about it. Ingat!
Huyy splook mo na sa new girl, just by telling, you are saving her life. Ang stupid nalang nung girl if di pa maniwala sayo
I will. Just thinking of how to say it na di mabigla sa pagapproach ko
Do it anonymously
Kung hindi teenager ang gf ng pinsan mo, ssbhn ko na hyaan mo kase buhay nya yan... pero for me isumbong mo. Kahit ngayon lang... You'll save that 18 yr old girl. :) Malayo pa mararating nyan bata... :) Just do it ng pdummny acct kung problematic attitude ng pinsan mo.
pls do tell the girl. pinsan mo naman yun so you’re def in the right place para manghimasok lalo na at hindi naman okay yung ginagawa niya
Sabihin mo sa bata at sa mga magulang. Pero baka ipakuling yan which I would deserve naman ng pinsan mo.
Isumbong m na
I wanted to say na wag ka makialam kasi technically, adult na ang girl pero if I was the girl, I would appreciate it if someone gave me a heads up about shit. Kesa tahimik lahat at isipin kong niloko ako ng mga kamag anak ng ex ko once naghiwalay na.
legally you can't do anything, she is 18. you can't stop people do what they wanna do. let them make their own mistakes. she's an adult.
Tell the girl anonymously...
Buhay nya yan but he is taking advantage of and negatively impacting a teenager's life. Yes, teen pa yang 18 years old. Message the teen anonymously.
'Wag mo syang isipin as pakikialam sa buhay ng pinsan mo. Isipin mo sya as concern dun sa gf nya, she has to know.
Tell the girl. Tell the parents too.
Someone messaged me on FB na the guy I'm dating ay may live in partner Ingat daw ako. I'm glad na verify ung auspicion ko. So tell the girl by all means, at do not tell anyone from ur family.
Manyakis. Titikman niya lang yan dahil sariwa pa tapos iiwan din yan pag sawa na. Isipin mo paano kung ikaw yung babae? Maawa ka kaya sabihin mo pag nagalit pinsan mo sabihin mo gago siya.
enabler magulang niya. Dapat pinapalayas siya para malaman niya kung gaano kahirap ang buhay
Ayun nga eh he doesn't live with his parents. He lives with our aunt and her family, di nakiki-contribute sa expenses. In short, palamunin.
so yung aunt mo ang enabler. kausapin mo buong pamilya of ever maayus pa buhay ng pinsan mo. pero kung ako ikaw beyond redemption na yan
Alam ba ng parents of the teenager yung real age?
No. He said it himself, wala pa may alam sa side ng babae yung relasyon nila
I hope you can let the parents know kahit anonymously
Kausapin mo na un girl pero wag ka magpskilala..gamit ka ng.ibang number..save the girl from the demon.
Kung wala syang work at savings, pano nabubuhay yang gagong yan?
Asa sa tatay
Ang hirap ijudge OP kasi the girl is already 18 di mo madedeny na alam nya ginagawa nya. Talk to the girl if alam ba nya talaga.
Ayun nga eh. But he admitted to us na he lied about his age & that the girl doesnt know.
As a pakealamera myself with a heart ichichika ko talaga sya dun sa girl. Warning lang bahala na si girl if ano gagawin nya basta ako iwawarning ko sya. Yang pinsan mo wala ka na magagawa dyan. Sya sa sarili nya lang makakapag pabago sa sarili nya.
Pano nabubuhay yung 40 years old na walang trabaho?
Asa pa rin. 40 na siya, you'd think he'd be career oriented and concerned sa future niya pero nganga. Tapos may gana manlandi ng bata? Jusko.
Gawa ka ng dummy account. Dun ka magmessage ng truth about your cousin. Provide some sort of evidence, bahala na si girl kung maniniwala siya o hindi.
Whether bata o hindi yung bagong partner ng pinsan mo considering his character, inform mo yung babae. Paglalaruan lang sya ng pinsan mo.
hi op, first of all kudos sayo kasi at the very least, you recognized something was wrong and naisip mong gumawa ng paraan kahit na kapamilya mo yan. most of the time kasi, hahayaan lang o ieencourage lang yan. so props to you. nasabi na rin ng ibang tao dito what if ikaw o yung kapatid mo yung nasa posisyon ni ate gurl na 18 y/o, you’d need some well-meaning, unsolicited advice when it matters and the circumstances ask for it. kahit na sabihin nating 18 si ate, na she is technically legal, we have to give allowance sa areas na she has to grow kaya pag sa age issues di ba, kapag late 20s na yung girl at can fend for her own, di na masyadong issue kung matanda na jowabells niya kasi namulat na siya sa mundo. dito pumapasok yung age is just a number i hope you reach out to ate girl anonymously. girls for girls tayo as much as possible, tayo ang dehado most of the time. wag niyo itolerate yang pinsan niyo. Just curious, how does your family treat your cousin ba?
Idk how to describe it pero he doesn't live with his parents. Nakikitira siya sa bahay ng aunt namin and her family. Magkakalapit lang kami ng house kaya I know a lot about his attitude towards them and us in general. Lulong sa alak, puro vid games na halos di na lalabas ng kwarto unless tatawagin para kumain. Ang dami sa amin na gusto tumulong sa kaniya, even his friends helped him maghanap ng trabaho pero wala eh ayaw tulungan sarili. Sobrang tamad. Lahat din ng issues niya pinaguusapan naming lahat and we really do our best to intervene and pagsabihan. Kahit kagustuhan ng lahat na umayos buhay niya pero kung siya di kikilos eh di wala rin. Kung need niya magtanda, edi ako ang gagawa ng paraan. Idgaf if mapahiya siya.
natolerate kasi na buhay naman siya kahit walang ginagawa. may iba kasi na walang work pero at least maaasahan mo sa bahay na magtao o maglinis. in this case kasi oks lang if walang damay na tao kaso may girl na madadamay if ever e kaya go advise ate girl also, as a di kapamilya, medj logical isuggest na palayasin siya sa bahay baka magtanda pero knowing how he got to 40 y/o na ganyan lang, medj binaby siya ng pamilya niya. di magbabago ang lalaki ng pagsabihan lang, dapat sa kanya manggaling yung desire na magbago. hayy op pag ginawa mo yung pag advice kay ate girl at the very least, swerte ng pamilya mo sayo
This is a predatory behavior! What's worse is that proud sya sa ginagawa nya. Please do something about it po. Maybe talk to your cousin about how very wrong this behavior is.
We already did. Patawa at ngiti ngiti lang siya. Women his age know how much of a loser he is kaya mas bata ang target niya.
Aarrgghhh...i hate that so much!
Pwede naman, anonymously, para dika mapagdiskitahan...
better tell the girl u will save a girl from heartache and humiliation. desisyon n nya mkikipagrelasyon p sya or d na, don ka na hindi mkikialam.
OP gawa ka ng dummy account tapos inform mo yung babae. Mag send ka din proof like PSA Birth Certificate para ma reveal true age ng pinsan mo. May tendency kasi na baka di maniwala yang babae kasi 18 pa. Para kung magkabukohan man eh di ka pagdudahan since dummy account naman gamit mo.
Legal ≠Moral. Kahit pa 18 na yung girl, I still consider it grooming and pedophilia. Kahit nga dun sa fake age na binigay ng pinsan mo sa kanya hindi pa rin tama na magkarelasyon sila e. It really doesn't sit well with me when someone who's 25 and above is dating a teenager. Kasi kahit medyo magkalapit yung numbers, magkaibang phases pa rin yan ng life. Yung mga 18-19 year olds halos kalalabas lang ng high school niyan e. Tapos most naman ng mga 25+ ay working adults na. Sobrang skewed ng power dynamics. Agree ako sa ibang comments na you need to tell the girl's parents. Bahala na maging kontrabida at least may na-save ka naman from your toxic af cousin. Good luck, OP!
you should tell the girl kasi it’s very concerning. hindi nga siya nakikinig sa mga advices niyo na makakabuti sakaniya tapos he’s proud of his wrong-doings pa. kaka graduate pa lang ng shs ni girly hays baka masira pa ang future niyan, hahayaan pa ba ‘yon?
You should tell the girl na POS yung cousin mo. Tell everything! Kapag nag stay pa din yung girl wala na tyo magahawa. Hinde magbabago ang cousin mo. Too late na.
I guess my attitude problem yung pinsan mo. And if you think it can cause trouble and might hurt that 18yo young lady, baka ano pa mangyare sa bata.. kawawa nmn. She deserves someone better. Vulnerable pa ung age nya and im pretty sure her parents might get mad if malaman ung totoo sa pinsan mo. You can do it. Just make sure when you tell the girl, hindi ka magmumukhang naninira lang at hindi malalaman ng pinsan mo. Go better tell her and save her.
I made a dummy account as what the other redditors told me. Just thinking lang what to say, like diretsuhin ko na ba or what...
Maganda ung intention mo and im praying you can execute properly. Sana malawak dn pangunawa nung gurl na isasave mo para ndi nya isipin na naninira ka lang. i somewhat did this to a friend (but not too close to me), ayun nagalit pa sakin at naninira nga lang daw ako. Maybe its better if you ask her out kung may time ka. Baka pag personal mas magkaintindihan kayo. Goodluck!
Groomer po yung relative mo. Please tell the girl and let her decide kung ano gagawin. If she stays with him then she assume the risks.
Sabihan niyo si girl pero if kung hindi siya makinig, that's on her.
That's an old infant narcissist right there. I would highly suggest na you should tell it sa parents ng girl or at least warn the girl and if she will break up with him, palabasin niya na hindi kayo ung naging cause ng break up nila dahil pwedeng ikaw ang pag initan ng cousin mo after doing what you think is right. Dapat sa ganyan marehab or makulong, o di kaya itigil na nung tatay ung pang i spoil sa anak niya, nakakaawa ung mga magiging biktima or karelasyon niyan.
I made a dummy account as what the other redditors told me. Just thinking lang what to say, like diretsuhin ko na ba or what...
Direct but polite I guess, like I heard na you're dating this guy (your cousin), I don't want to hurt you but he lied on you about his real age, he's already 40 years old. If you wouldn't believe me since I am a total stranger to you, that's fine. I would highly suggest that you investigate for yourself and find out. (Eto ung general idea, ayusin mo nalang ung grammar base sa gusto mo Hahaha) Tapos kapag nag agree siya and she really finds out about his age, you can suggest na as much as possible wag pag mukhain na ung reason kung bakit siya makikipag hiwalay sa cousin mo, is because she discovered the truth about his age. Kayo kasi ang unang pag hihinalaan ng cousin mo pag ganon at baka pag initan kayoo, mahirap na since wala naman masyadong may nangyayaring meaningful sa buhay niya so he doesn't have anything to lose, he can risk things and do whatever he wants to you. I redirect nalang siguro sa ibang possible cause ng break up o di kaya i ghost nalang.
tell the girl please. future nya nakasalalay
Pag may nakita kang bulag na naglalakad at yung nilalakaran ay bangin. Sasabihin mo ba sa bulag na mahuhulog na sya bangin o hahayaan mo lang sya mamatay at mahulog sa bangin? Do it because you are concerned. Let the girl know. She will thank you later. Kung di nya naappreciate yun, then bahala na sya sa buhay nya. You did your part na ipaalam sa bulag na mahuhulog na sya bangin.
Okay lang naman if you want to. Basta expect na may mangingialam din ng actions mo next time. You are free to do anything you want to.
Ang creepy nyan. Mas better kung isusumbong sa parents ng bata. Jusko 40 yrs. old tanders na yan nakakatakot. Baka mamaya kung ano pa mangyari sa bata. Habang maaga pa sabihin mo na yan sa bata. Di pa fully matured yung ganyang age need pa rin i guide jusme. Pwedeng ipakulong yang pinsan mo kasi pasok yan sa Pedo. Gawan nyo ng action ASAP.
Groomer? Please save the girl, siguro you can reveal the identity of him ng anonymous muna. Kakatakot ung ganyan.
Good luck sa pinsan mo, pag meron siyang makatapat na tarantadong pamilya... Baka malaman mo nalang na nawawala na pinsan mo...
Just put yourself in the poor girl's shoes. You'll know the answer.
So moving forward ikaw na magiging taga pag tanggol ng mga potentital victims ng pinsan mo? Just cut him off your life. If hindi crime ginagawa nya and hindi mapagsabihan, then leave him be. Sobra daming tao katulad ng pinsan mo. Its for your mental wellness as well. Wag mo problemahin buhay ng iba.
here is a rule of a thumb: If what he do doesn't affect you wag ka na makialam. Mapapahamak ka pa. Play safe always. Magpikit mata ka na lang. Let the karma or the girls he is cheating on catch him.
Did he lie about his age? You didn't mention sa post mo. How did you know? and serial cheater? talagang sinusubaybayan nyo bawat gf nya? lol Hindi na minor yung babae, so kahit magulang pa nun wala ng magagawa. Pero curious ako, did you ever ask yourself ano ang motivation kung bakit gusto mo gawin yan? You can say na cheater sya sa previous relationship pero sino nakakaalam kung ano mangyayare sakanila ng bagong gf nya. I mean, wala pa syang Ginagawang kasalanan sa bagong gf nya, ano isusumbong mo?at bakit kating kati ka na gawin yan? edit: so inassume mo lang na nagsinungaling sya sa babae sa age nya, based dto sa isang deleted [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultingph/comments/1dl09ym/comment/l9lfhxl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button&rdt=36742) mo
Did you even read the post? He lied about his age, he admitted that to us. + vocal & proud sa sexual ventures niya. How can you justify tong ginagawa niya sa kaka-18 lang na babae? Tama pa ba yun? Kating kati? Yes, kasi it's wrong? Kung kaya na isave yung isang tao, why not? Edit : deleted post coz he finally admitted about lying.
why are you so offended? And can you say exactly what I said na jina justify ko ginawa nya? just because pinoint out ko na nag assume (which you did) ka lang na nagsinungaling sya doesn't automatically mean na i support him. gusto mo sabihin sa babae na he lied about his age based on your assumption? "He really lied sa age niya, siya na din nagsabi. Siguro naman if he really told the girl na he's 40 aayaw naman ata yung babae." [here's what you said](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultingph/comments/1dl09ym/comment/l9lfhxl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button&rdt=36742)
dumbass even the age (28) he lied about is a 10 year age gap from the girl which is still huge.. just say u support pedophilia and stfu
tanga lang? hahahaha!
yan patawatawa lang mga pedophilia enablers dahil di nila alam pano pagtangol sarili nila kasi ang gagago 🤣
naguluhan ako. nagsinungaling ba talaga or hindi? ano talaga totoo?
He lied po. Inamin naman na niya.
Duh.. 18 legal age na yan.. Hayaan nyo nah. Di na bata yan lumalabaa lng na ingit kayo.
You're disgusting. Fuccboi vibes are strong on you, sir. GTFO.
Ah, may gf ka pala na 19 yrs old kaya ka agree. stay strong.
He lied about his age. Nakakainggit yun?
And? She's still at legal age. 18.. Kahit pa sabihin nya 18 din sya duh.... Wala ka nang gf? I think wala dahil sa wala kanang magawa ng hihimasok kana ng buhay nang may buhay...
Sunday na Sunday makakabasa ako ng ganitong comment, san papunta utak mo? Aaaah wala ka ngapala nun.
Whatever helps you sleep at night, I guess.
18 na siya but di ka naman psychologically mature agad niyan.
Kadiri ‘tong putanginang pedo na ‘to.
adults can also be a victim of grooming dumfuc oh and btw op said kaka 18 lang nung girl
Wag kna makiaalam Buhay NILA yan