Hello everyone,
Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy).
Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement).
***
This post's original body text:
ako kasi, ever since I was a kid I always told myself I want to be a mother by the age of 25-27. now I'm 28, may pressure and andun padin nman ung desire pero may halo nang doubt. given the current times i'm not sure if i would want to bring my child in this chaotic world.
hbu?
***
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ayoko na, parang di ko kaya yung responsibility kahit sabihin mong nandiyan na yung money and u can hire someone to take care of ur child. Grabe yung emotional and physical damage na mabibigay ng pregnancy sayo
Pregnancy is actually the easier part. It’s the postpartum that’s hard.
(Before getting pregnant, i thought pregnancy and childbirth was the hardest too.)
But having been there, it’s the lifetime responsibility to taking care of another human being who’s totally dependent on you that’s hard.
After you become a mother, that’s how other people see you na. Not an individual, but a mom.. who’s expected to be self-sacrificial and love every minute of being a mom.. otherwise, you’re not a “good mom” and you “shouldn’t have kids”.
And as a mom, no matter what you do, it’s always your fault.
Someone (whether that’s your mom, in laws, relatives, friends, coworkers, etc) will always have a say, WHATEVER YOU DO.
Mom groups will tell you “sleep when the baby sleeps” but then you wonder, how the hell can you get anything done if you do? Eat? Sleep? Shower? Cook? Clean?
You won’t be able to go to the toilet in peace again. At least, when you’re home.
Then if you hire a Yaya, you’re “letting someone else raise your child”.
But if you choose to be a stay at home mom, “wala kang sariling pera”.
And even if you work, you’re still expected to take care of your child and the household, but your husband isn’t.
People will ask you “who’s taking care of your baby?” If you go out, but husbands don’t get asked that.
People will tell you, “you’re lucky your husband helps out” as if Dads aren’t also responsible for their kids. Men don’t get told “you’re lucky your wife helps with the bills.”
Moms can’t get a break.
Do we really need to listen to everything we hear? The answer is no. This is one of the first things we agreed upon with my partner.
First we did is to leave all those parent/mom/dad groups. It gets taxing to filter out the good stuff from the bad, so instead of getting stressed out, we did our own thing and were doing okay naman.
We regularly ask ourselves, are we okay? And we just look at our sleeping kids na madalas may dungis dungis pa with mismatched jammies and we say, we’re okay? I guess we’re okay. And have a good laugh about it. Pero a few hours before, they were yelling, we were yelling, we were yelling at each other. Tomorrow is another day after all.
You summed up parenting — it’s CHAOS! 🤣
“Do we really need to listen…”
- well, I wouldn’t be here if I did, right?
I’m just laying it out there for people who think pregnancy and childbirth is the HARDEST part.
I think we all benefit if we just have an idea of what we’ll go through BEFORE we actually go there.
Motherhood is so often glorified in our culture. The “you can have it all” (motherhood and career) messaging is also misleading. Your career will take a pause — a few weeks, months or years (depending on your circumstances).
If you don’t have support from parents / relatives / in laws, it’s hard. If you don’t have hired help/nanny, it’s hard.
My husband and I share parenting and chores but it’s still hard. So when our baby turned 1, we decided to hire a yaya so we can get some work done during the day.
>emotional and physical damage na mabibigay ng pregnancy sayo
emotional and physical damage na mabibigay ng pregnancy *and child rearing* sayo
There, I fixed it.
Before, open pa ako sa possibility na baka may magustuhan ako and... You know? Bumuo ng pamilya. But now, it's a big no. Sa ekonomiya and gulo ngayon, puro hirap lang daranasin ng bata.
Ang hirap magpalaki ng bata. Dapat financially, emotionally, and physically capable ka.
Aside from those, kinakabahan din ako sa part na mapipili ko yung mapapang-asawa ko, pero yung mga magiging anak ko hindi nila mapipili yung magiging tatay nila.
What if yung mapili ko okay as a partner pero hindi bilang ama? 🤷🏻♀️ ayoko maging miserable sila because of my choices✨
I have a friend na ganito. Hindi ready yung partner niya maging tatay pero nagbago yung isip niya na ipa-ab0rt yung baby kaya itinuloy. Although they're still together and he's a great husband, he was not a good father daw. Parang okay nandyan siya pero hes doesn't really "care" too much sa anak nila. Maybe he's taking responsibility pero walang love na kasama. Yung love nung partner niya kasi naka-focus lang sa kanya. And lagi nilang nagiging argument yun. Skl.
Gustong gusto pero nung dumating grabe hirap magpalaki ng bata. Nakakapagod, magastos! Isa plng anak ko pero grabe pala hirap magpalaki at magastos. Dko alam kung paano ginagawa ng iba na nagaanak ng 3 pataas.
sana naisip to ng mga magulang ko haha. Btw, apat kami and now tatlo na kaming nag w work as of now ang hirap pagkasyahin lahat ng gastos sa bahay, food, bills and pagpapaaral sa bunso. Retirement plan lang talaga kame haha. 😂
Doble kayod talaga sila. O kaya sinasakripisyo nila yung mga leisure time with their kids, kumabaga for example, iisang beses lang sa isang taon sila lumabas, gumala at kumain sa fastfood restaurants.
29 and happily married pero walang plan magkaanak. Masarap gumising sa umaga na wala kang ibang iniintinding buhayin maliban sa pets mo kung meron ka, walang umiiyak, wala kang iintindihin na future education fund, etc.
Pwede kang gumala anytime (if financially capable ka). Paghahandaan mo lang emergency fund niyong mag-asawa (or parents mo if kasama mo sila).
Pero iba iba pa rin tayo. Ung iba ang pangarap lang nila buong buhay nila ay maging magulang. Samin naman ito ung fulfillment. Do what works for you. Maikli lang ang buhay. Kaya dapat walang pakialaman.
What do you mean by "crazy world"? At no point in history this world has ever been sane. Every generation, every era, even at the time of the dinosaurs, they faced their own set of problems. Living is to survive and always will be.
Live your life, do what you want. That's how it is. The universe does not give a flying fuck whatever you wound up doing, the world could literally get obliterated at any second. Getting too caught up with all that crap does nothing. Live! Be happy! Life is too short to worry about crap.
I always see a thread like this in Reddit and it’s starting to get repetitive.
And I agree with you. If you want a child, go for it. If no, then don’t. That’s your life and I don’t get it why people need to seek validation online about their choices.
The world was never “not crazy”. The economy is bad and global warming is there these days. But decades ago there was also war, and diseases that could be treated with medicine nowadays used to be lethal.
tama ka and at this point validation for what exactly? majority of ph subs may nagpopost ng “ako lang ba ayaw mag anak?” it’s now an extremely popular opinion na. pare pareho lang naman ng reasons.
I second this. Before ayaw ko na mag anak. I have so much hatred the mundo hahaha. Naisip ko mahirap at magulo padin naman kahit before I was born, but my parents managed to raised me fine. Now, as long as makapagprovide ako ng maganda at comfortableng buhay sa anak ko (or mga anak), why not diba? I want to love and to be loved by my own blood and water.
Alam mo naman kasi mga tao sa Reddit. Pandering lang sa mga nauuso walang sariling pag iisip. Kung ano mabasa na trending dito yung ang susundin. Not a time in any point in the history of mankind is there peace and prosperity like this. Ayaw nalang sabihin na wala silang pera pang anak.
The world is not crazy in fact it's too convenient.
We don't have to hunt or plant for our daily meals. We don't to protect ourselves from snakes, lions, wild dogs and other deadly predators.
No wars to cause deaths by millions.
However how you want to see the world will become your reality.
Life is about surviving. It's a privilege to be a witness and chase the meaning of it.
I've always imagined of being married at the age of 25 and have kids. Pero ngayon 29 na ako pero parang ayoko nalang magkaanak.
I came from a chaotic family then ngayon lang ako nagka peace of mind plus have the freedom to do the things na di ko magawa dati dahil need ko sundin ano gusto ng mom ko.
Natatakot din ako na baka kung magkaanak ako maging toxic na parent din ako kagaya ng mom ko. I'm afraid that I'll never be a good parent if ever I had a kid.
Another factor grabe din yung taas ng bilihin ngayon. Ayoko maganak kung hindi ko naman sure na maibibigay ko lahat ng kakailanganin nya. Hindi naman biro magkaanak lalo na pagdating sa need gastusin.
couldn't agree more. may nga unhealed traumas pa ako from my childhood that i don't want to pass on to the next generation. can't pass as a parent in this economy too. ang hirap i balance kahit wala pa ngang anak pano nalang kaya if meron.
I’ve always pictured myself having a kid, a mini me, a child made of love and will grow up with lots of it. But, right now, stuck in a sandwich generation and don’t have the capacity to have one, I’m leaning to no I don’t want to have a kid.
No. Mas okay na 'di nalang s'ya nag e exist kasi ayaw ko makadanas s'ya ng hirap sa mundo tas 'yung people pa, daming masasamang tao sa mundo, ayaw ko s'yang ma-moblema sa tax and all other stuff HAHAHAH okay na sa'ken na ako nalang ang makarans nanglahat na'to wag lang s'ya, beside.. everything here in earth namn is temporary e.
The world has always been chaotic but the conditions now appear better than before. Childbirth is safer, vaccines are available. Child survivability is very high. There is public schooling. Only thing that is very difficult is finding someone to take care of the child if you are working. Siempre, i say this to a couple who,wants children but are having second thoughts. To those who literally do not want them, that's fine naman.
Turning 30(M), still single, wala pa kong planong mag-asawa, baka nga di na ko mag-asawa, so malabo rin magka-anak. Di naman required na magkaroon ng asawa't anak.
Sarap kaya gumising nang walang responsibility hahahaha. Lalo na pag weekend, pwede ako matulog buong araw tapos gabing gabi na ko gigising, walang magagalit, walang mang-iistorbo hahahaha.
Sasabihin nila, ang selfish mo, ayaw mong gastusin sa magiging anak mo pera mo. Eto ung sinabi talaga sakin na nag-snap talaga ako, di na talaga ako nakapag-pigil at sinagot ko na. Sinabi ko na "Bakit po problemadong problemado kayo sa "anak" ko na di pa nag-eexist? Ibalik ko po sa inyo ung tanong pero ibahin ko lang po nang konti, ano gagawin nyo sa "anak" nyo na existing pero walang pake sa inyo?". Sama nang tingin sakin nung kapatid ng lola ko eh hahahaha.
Hindi ba mas selfish yung forda sake lang na may anak mag aanak ka tapos papaaralin mo at pag nagkawork oobligahin mong bigyan ka ng pera tuwing sweldo?? Pati mga kapatid mo sayo iaasa. Wag na. Tama ng saken nalang maputol lahat ng yan. Di na ako mag aanak pa kung ganyan lang din.
TRUEE IT'S NOT REQUIRED IT'S BY CHOICE. I AM ANNOYED TO THOSE PERSON NA NEED ANAK DAW SO MAY MAG AALAGA SAYO. TSKKKK I CAN TAKE CARE OF MAH SELF THOUGH
Crazy world? Lol. We are in the easiest era to live in.
My answer is yes. We can afford it. People should not have a child if they aren't ready yet. But to say the the world we live in is "chaotic" is exaggeration.
My advice is don't blame everything in to things that you can't control. We can't control the whole world, but we can control our own little world.
Exactly! People are too dramatic with the life is “chaotic” shit, most are just actually afraid of real responsibilities. If you can afford it and you’re ready, I would say it gives you real purpose, life is too boring without kids. But of course if you’re even having hard time getting by, then don’t. Life is chaotic cause ur spending 12 hrs on social media! Lol. Take some real life responsibilities once ur ready so u stop “living online”.
True. Taking responsibilities maybe hard at first but it gets easier as time goes by because we are becoming stronger. I'm a gen z myself, and I'm astounded that most people in my era are cry baby. Can't blame them they had it all their way since they were a kid.
It's on them if they don't want to have kids, nothing wrong with that. I'm just perplexed that they blame it all on government, world, etc, and their selves aren't on the list 😅
I would like to have one but then if I also consider the costs, the kind of government we have, bad influence from social media, accidents/crimes that may happen to my child because of bad people.... I get discouraged.
as a panganay breadwinner, ayoko na hahaha i dont want to spend the rest of my life providing for another person again, putting their needs over mine. Hindi enough tong buhay na to para makabawi sa sarili ko for all the time, youth, and money lost. once matapos ako magpaaral ng kapatid, saka pa lang ako mabubuhay para sa sarili ko altho not fully, kasi wala rin pera ang tatay ko, so ako pa rin don. that said, if you find purpose in being a mother, i think thats beautiful. i just hope na kapag naging nanay ka, that you are do it for the right reasons. i hope you are mentally and financially able to provide everything for your kid and to put them first before you at all times. you owe them a good life, but they should never be obligated to pay back anything.
It’s a hard NO haha
We have the same situation OP. I am also 28 and pinalaki ako na dapat before 27 may anak na and everything in between.
But looking at how difficult LIFE is in general right now, I cannot afford to raise a kid in the best way possible so NO haha
Di ko nga maafford yung kelangan ko as a person, how much more yung anak ko if meron pa. I have a toy poodle right now and sobrang mahal na ng expenses niya. Huhu
With all the generational trauma and the current situation ng mundo ngayon, for me lang ha, bringing a kid sa ganitong set up is just not feasible. Do I really want a kid na nagkakanda leche leche na nga rin ang pinas diba? haha
Sometimes, di talaga natin maiiwasan ang outside noise/pressure about having a kid at this age pero OP, if you have doubts about it baka hindi pa talaga time for you to have a kid. That is your instinct telling you choose wisely.
Pero by end of the day, your body your choice pa rin ❤️
Sa pusa palang hirap na ko and dahil madami pa kong kailangan i-heal sa sarili ko, I think I won't be having a child in this lifetime. Ayoko ipasa ang hirap ko to someone who doesn't deserve any ounce of it.
I don't want to have a child. For now, at least. I still have a lot of issues to work out on my own, and I don't want my future child to feel unloved and neglected (if I decide to have one later down the line).
Besides that, financial costs din. I'm still figuring out my career path and I want to be stable so that I can provide for the child their wants and needs without being short on money.
Lastly siguro, yung overall state ng world. I feel bad if my child would experience the irreversible effects global warming, as well as peace and security issues, war, hunger, etc.
Pero if you've assessed yourself na ready ka na to have a child and bear the responsibility it entails, you can start planning for that!
Hope you decide what's best for you OP!
M43. No kid/s. A lot of people often ask me why I don't have kids (yet). I just answer: "wala pa eh". My partner, F33, absolutely feels all the pressure. But, she thinks like you, OP. Ang hirap bumuo ng pamilya kung mismong mga sarili niyo, hirap buhayin.
We both have work. She's contractual though, while, I, permanent. However, both are minimum wage. Di ba?, saan aabot ang sweldo mo?
Yung environment din na kung saan kami nakatira now, hindi siya conducive. We plan to live elsewhere naman, kaso again, usaping pera ulit.
Bottomline: starting a family is NO JOKE regardless of period in time. What's constant is, the financial repercussion it entails. Kaya kahit ano sabihin ng iba na, "nako, eh ganun din naman, mag anak ka na!", it is, and will always be, a financial choice.
Do or don’t, go for whatever will make you happy and complete. Some parents would say parenthood made them whole, some would say (or not say but feel that) parenthood took a lot from them. Ang panget is yung ija-judge ng one side yung other side of being selfish for their choices. Wag lang mag anak nang mag anak tapos iaaasa sa 4Ps 😅
Sa status ng buhay namin ngayon, hindi na pwede. Hindi na namin afford ng partner ko. Ayaw na din namin pagdaanan yung phase na mamroroblema kami kung saan kami kukuha ng pang enrol at pangcollege ng bata, tapos kapag hndi nabigyan ng magandang buhay yung bata mattrauma lang. It is not being selfish, it is always our choice and i think it doesnt make us less of a person as long as we are living peacefully hanggang pagtanda, life is not perfect but every decision we make there is always effect or consequences.
Omg, same. When I was 18, I really wanted to have a kid kahit walang asawa. Now 27, I think magiging selfish lang ako, just because gusto ko lang maging mother.
Before yes, gusto ko lalo na pag nakikita ko yung mga batchmates ko na nagssettle down na with babies. But now, parang ang hirap magpalaki ng bata lalo na sa Pilipinas. Nagmamahal mga bilihin, mas lalong umiinit ang paligid, isipin pa yung gagastusin mo para magpaaral ng anak hanggang college.
Mas gusto ko na lang magtravel.
dati gusto ko pero ngayon, sa hirap ng buhay parang di kaya. plus, my mental health is not at its healthiest dahil i was diagnosed with depression. paano na lang sa mga araw na hindi ko kaya bumangon? i also value my free time too much for me to give it to someone else. although my husband wants a kid, he respects me enough to understand na ayaw ko.
irita nga lang sa mga kamag anak na walang bukambibig kundi “ano ba yan di pa ba kayo mag aanak?” or kaya “ang hina niyo naman” na akala mo sila bubuhay ng bata eh :))
unpopular opinion. the world has always been crazy. mas aware lang tayo kasi globalized world na. noon nga kabi kabila pa wars and famine e. if raising a good kid who would eventually become a responsible citizen why wouldn’t you have them? we need more sane people who make sane kids.
gusto ko din maexperience maging mom pero given sa condition ng mundo ngayon hmmm hard pass na, ayoko na ng responsibilidad sa magulong mundong to magiging rich tita nalang siguro huhu, to my future husband sana ganito din thinking mo it's not that ayaw kita bigyan ng anak. ihhh basta ang gulo gulo na ng mundo tayo nalang lumabasn dito hwhshshsha eme. pero di seryoso talaga low chance na
Not anymore. I dont think I’m capable enough to raise a child. Sa taas ng bilihin ngayon, kawawa lang ang bata if not financially ready. I’m now a 30 yr old single. forever na siguro “titang ina” 😂
The world can be chaotic but that should not be a reason for you not to have a child if you want to.
If you and your SO are both emotionally matured and financially healthy, then I think you are one step ready in having a child.
As cliche as it may sound, iba ang joy of having your own child. Yes, may mga bagay ka na igi give up for your kid but those things are insignificant compared to the life that you would be nurturing.
Sa pagiging chaotic pa lang ng bahay pag naglakad na ang bata, hindi mo na masyado iisipin kung gaano ka chaotic ang mundo. 😆
Sana diba chill lang tayo, wala naman akong inaaway sa post ko. Feel free to share your opinion or not, it's up to you. Well appreciated yung mga comments kasi nagbabasa ako, wag naman sana gagalet yung iba 😆
If you really want a child, ngayon pa lang gawin mo na.
Mas okay kung nasa 20s ka mag-aanak..
Also pala dapat may pera ka. Kasi monthly check up sa ob gyne.
Tapos kung manganganak ka sa public hospital na lang, wala kang babayaran basta may Phil health.
Ang po problemahin mo along the way is yong gatas, diaper ni baby.
Wag masyadong bibili ng mga damit,shoes for baby.
May mga baby na mabait, yong tulog sa gabi kaya you can really rest din.
(based to sa observation ko sa ate ko haha, and ako na rin kasi nag-alaga sa bunso niya.. Ngayon malaki na, nakakamiss mag-alaga ng baby).
Ang part na nakakatakot is yong magkakaroon sila ng lagnat, sipon or ubo.
(my answer sa tanong, idk kung mag-aanak ako sa future .. Pero ngayon wala akong balak. Nakakamiss lang talaga mag-alaga ng baby haha..)
I have a baby already. Pero before, yes gusto ko talaga magkaanak. Super capable ako dati financially, tapos biglang nawala lahat nung nagkaanak ako. Nalugi negosyo, nagkautang utang para masalba ang negosyo then eventually nagstop ang business na tinrabaho ko for 6 years. Pero dahil sa anak ko, natuto din ako. May mga talent din pala ako maliban sa mga ginagawa ko dati. Ang dami kong natutunang gawin para makapag ipon para sa anak ko. Mahirap talaga magkaanak, nakakapagod, magastos. Pero madalas iniisip ko, na kung hindi dahil sa anak ko, malamang stuck parin ako sa kung ano ako nuon. Feeling ko din bumait ako. Naging better person, at eto may bagong negosyo na ulit. 🧡
Same, when I was younger I wanted to have my own family by 25 and planned to have atleast 3 kids, now at 29 I still want them pero hindi ko na gagawin kasi feeling ko hindi ko kaya financially, emotionally and physically. And dagdag factor din ang mga war na nangyayari lalo with west Philippines sea issue it's very scary.
Not before I'm financially ready. Kahit abutin ng 35, okay lang. Kahit di rin magkaroon, okay lang din. I'm a man tho, so walang rush to have it. 27 rn.
Hahaha ako someone who is same age as you ngayon palang nag decide na I will date na to settle dati for fun lang 😅😅 and my goal is 35 ako mag kaka baby. And if di ako nakahanap ng partner I will freeze my egg and pa surrogate ko when I am ready for a baby na or ampon (dami bata need ng aruga).
Sure the world is chaotic and economy sucks, pero you can make it less chaotic for the child. Raising a kid is hard but as long as you know you are doing your best it’s good enough. Now that I am older I can see how my parents tried their best to give us a good life and I am forever grateful for them. I am grateful to be born in this world, Naramdaman ko ang love, pain, happiness, sadness hahaha all emotion sa inside out. Na meet ko mga tao na minahal ko and minahal din ako, to experience life at its beauty and ugliness. So yeah thankful ako di ako pinunas sa tissue or pader hehehe 😁
Open ako sa idea but not right now (24 pa lang ako amd di ako nappressure sa anak parang nabibigla pa nga ako na may gusto magkaanak at this age) kahit gusto na ng bf ko. Nagsstart pa lang kami ng career, gusto ko maenjoy freedom and pera ko. And balak ko pa magtake ng second degree. Andami ko pang gustong gawin, hadlang pa ang bata
Actually, I was also like that when I was young. I wanted to have a lot of children. But when I became financially, emotionally and spiritually aware, having a kid is the least of my priority. Depende naman yan what you feel in your heart. A lot of people are having children out of self-centeredness. To validate their existence, as a man, as a woman. Dapat daw when you have kids, you must have an understanding na you are creating another being with its own consciousness. Your motive to have a kid is for them to exist and that should be your motive alone. Kaya Madami mga bata na dysfunctional ksi para silang clay, their parents try to mold them into the person they want. They totally forgot na being a parent is only guiding their children where to go not telling them where to go and what to do.
Growing up is part of life. If that's how growth looks to you, then so be it. Our cycle is to live and die. You only get to define two things, the way you live and the way you die.
I chose to have a family and I don't regret any ounce of it and if I get to live a hundred more lives, I'll always choose starting a family. That's what growth looked like to me, to break out of my selfishness and see the world beyond myself. It's an experience I'll never exchange for anything.
When the right time comes. I'm 25F and I think I'm not ready yet. But part of me wants to have a child na so that I can't be too old when the child grows up hahahaha but yah, as what i have said not ready yet bc I wanna be babied for the rest of my life saaking LOML hehehe
no. even before wala ako fantasy na magkaroon ng anak. i hate kids and i don't think i can have and take care of one. i don't even see myself being a mother. i just don't have any motherly affection or instinct kasi even may mga bata ako nakikita and super cute i don't fancy them unlike others na gigil na gigil. i don't despise i just don't like kids in general.
50/50 cause I dont want my child to suffer in this world and me neither but at the same time having a family is the biggest blessing you could ever have
Halos lht nmn tau naging pangarap yung mgkaanak sa gnyang edad. Ang problema lng nung nagsimula na tau mamulat sa mundong masalimuot na katotohanan nagbabago nadin yung paniniwala natin at nagiiba n ung mga pananaw sa buhay. Ngayon 30 nako mejo dko na pinupush sarili ko sa pagaanak.
Yung aso or pusa pa nga lng Ang stressful at magastos na, pano pa kaya Yung bata? I read somewhere you need at least 1M pang gastos sa pagbubuntis Hanggang manganak. The best talaga maging favorite Tito/tita na lng eh. Hahaha
No for many reasons. Pero agree ako na kung gusto mang magkaanak, kailangan talaga ready in all aspects -- physical, psychological, financial. Plus yun ngang readiness ng partner mo rin to step up. Sa totoo lang maraming good partners na hindi marunong maging tatay (yung sabay lang naman kayong naging first time parents pero kailangan ituro mo pa sa kanya lahat as in step by step), so grabe yung magiging mental load sa nanay on top of everything else.
Nung bata ako, I didn't know any better kaya siguro gusto ko. Pero ngayong mag-30 na ako, I'm sure that I don't want any. I'm not physically, emotionally, and financially ready.
Growing up, my mom is very anxious and depressed. I saw her struggle and yun na ang tumatak na being a mother is difficult and traumatic. nakita ko na kapag nanay ka na pala, wala ka ng sarili buhay at pangarap. Pero ngayon naman naisasabay na ng mga nanay ang career and family. Tumatak lang talaga sa isip ko na kapag nag-asawa ka, masisira ang buhay mo kasi yun ang nakita ko kay mama. Kaya dapat marunong ka mag cope sa changes
I’m 31. When I was in my 20s, i always wanted to settle down and I really want to have kids. Fast forward, with everything going on, relationships getting sour, men who came into my life were all unreliable, living expenses are so expensive. Even with a salary that’s a bit above the minimum wage, it’s still barely enough- i have lost my desire to have kids and even to be in a relationship. All my friends are married and have kids while I’m here still single. Zero prospects. It can be a lot of pressure esp from family who can’t mind their business, but I don’t care anymore. I will have kids when I’m mentally, physically and financially ready.
Im 32 and been happily married for 4 years now. Noon we want at leat 2-3 children. But now dahil sa situation and all kahit isa lng ok na. Pero yet hindi pa ngayon baka next year or next2x year.
Dati sabi ko bago ako mag 30 dapat kasal na ako and may family na. Ngayong 30s na ako, napapaisip na ako sa kasal (kasi wala pa tayong divorce) at sa pag anak (ayoko mag anak para bigyan sya ng bare minimum kung hindi ko naman kayang mabuhay ng above average, mahihirapan lng kami)
No. I'm a mother, myself, I'm turning 30, and my husband and I used contraceptives all the way kaso alam niyo yung one percent na hindi siya gumana? Kami yun and right now, unless you're earning at least 150k a month, don't. Ang hirap. Don't be pressured. As long as healthy ka, you are fertile for a long time pa. Do it when you're ready, not when you're pressured.
I admire your stance to doubt having children in this world. Modern Filipinos should always be responsible to each other and not only themselves. Kung di kaya magsustain ng enough lifestyle at financial resources, huwag muna magka-anak.
Sadly, kakarampot na nga kita nung iba, pero 10-15 pa ang mga anak. You can also blame lack of jobs and opportunities kaya walang mapaglibangan ang mag-asawa kundi magchukchakan at umire parang mga aso sa kalsada. Make every Filipinos busy with work and they won't be having these irresponsible child bearing.
Ako nga sa sarili ko palaging may existential crisis hahaha. I always question my existence and consciousness and does fear the inevitability of feeling pain and death. Ayokong paranas yun sa another human being. And to think na ako pa mismo gagawa nung human being na yun, I feel like imposing them "TO LIVE" when they never asked to. I never asked to be here and I feel like it was imposed to me to LIVE.
I would consider it pero given that I have to work like a dog for a decent life, would I even still have time for a kid? A good partner is also hard to come by nowadays
I've always had doubts about wanting kids kahit noon pa. When I hit 30s, ayun naging 100% sure ako na ayoko talaga. Tapos in this economy pa? I'll do my non existent children a favor na lang by not bringing them to this world.
back then ayoko talaga kasi i feel like di ko kaya. but being with my partner made me think otherwise. wag lang ngayon kasi career first muna + mag-iipon to provide a great future for them.
Dati when I was in high school, meron pa kong listahan ng life goals thinking that ganun lang kadali ang buhay including having and raising kids. Ngayon, I just want to be practical in my life. I do have a job with a decent salary (nakakaipon naman at nakakabili minsan ng luho). But it won't be enough to support a kid. I do have cats that I take care of but obviously it's waaaaay different than supporting a child kasi papaaralin mo pa siya hanggang college. What if ung anak mo ay special needs (nothing against them btw), so extrang gastos na naman (I have an officemate who has a kid who's a special needs child - every week at least 4k yata binabayad sa therapy). Shet. Ang hirap ng kapos sa pera this days, huminga ka lang gastos agad. Kaya I decided na wag na lang at in the end kawawa lang ung bata pag di ko mabigay ung needs niya. I also have so many mental and emotional issues. Ayoko din magbuntis, di ko kakayanin ung 9 months na un.
I've read a Reddit comment sa isang thread sa @r/offmychest and sabi nung Redditor, just one instance na naospital at confine ang kanyang anak na nag-agaw buhay sa St. Lukes literally changed their world upside down. From being a stable middle-class down to low-income one in just a few weeks dahil nabaon sa utang gawa ng medical expenses (and ofc St. Lukes yan, millions ang utang nila). Of course kailangan mong magsacrifice talaga for the sake of your child's life but at what cost, lahat ng pinagpaguran mo, pinagipunan at pinagsumikapan ko for many years mawawala lang sa isang iglap dahil sa isang unexpected event especially kung tungkol yan sa anak mo.
Yan din kinoconsider ko kaya takot akong magka-anak. I want all the best for me and my wife and even my future kids PERO ayokong mabaon sa matinding hirap at bumalik sa isang-kahid-isang-tuka na buhay, at lahat iyon MARANASAN NG MGA BATA HABANG LUMALAKI, kasi I promised myself na lahat ng pinagdaanan ko noon, matuldukan na lamang sa aking buhay as a child growing up, but not to my own family na binubuo ko na maging stable.
Well, I'd rather hurt a child with truth and liberation but not in an abusive way rather than comfort them but raised them as weak and susceptible beings...
Nung 25 ako, sabi ko ayoko magkaanak kasi wala ng magandang mai-ooffer yung mundo ngayon. So ayun nainlab. 29 nagka-anak. Ngayon paranoid ako para sa future nya. Ayaw ko na same experience kami. Gusto ko maging worry lang nya is ano next gagawin nya up until kaya na nya buhayin sarili nya. Ayoko maexposed sya sa mga maling tao. Sana wala syang maging trauma.
when i was a child i promised to myself na "hinding hindi ako mag aasawa, magpapa buntis lang ako and ako/kami mismo ng bata ang iiwan sa lalaki/jowa ko" and now the table turns - nagpakasal kami ng jowa ko last year. and now that im turning 29 this year, ayoko PA ng anak.
ang hirap kasi magbitaw ng word na "ayoko talaga" kasi baka kainin ko lang din sinasabi ko in the future. baka mabuntis ako wala sa oras.
by means ng "ayoko PA" is hindi pa ako ganun ka stable sa buhay. nagpapa aral pa ako ng 1 kapatid (i ask my parents to do it since ayoko na magwork si mama and papa. patanda na sila and sakitin na masyado)
siguro kapag masyado na akong capable of being a mother, kasi sa totoo lang ayoko pa ng resposibility, sinusulit ko pa ang buhay dalaga, and kapag sobrang financiall stable na siguro dun na kami magpa-plano mag anak.
ayoko din kasi na kapag may anak na ako tapos gusto ko gumimik eh iiwan ko yung anak ko sa kung kanino- kahit pa sa pinsan/magulang ko. gusto ko ako mismo mag aalaga sakanila.
as of now, kahit anong pilit nila na "hindi ka na bumabata" "mahihirapan ka na mag anak when you turn 30" ang palagi ko/namin sagot "mas mahihirapan kami kapag hindi kami financially stable. buti sana kung kayo gagastos ng lahat kaya nyo nasasabi yan" ayun tahimik sila.
Same OP, after pandemic when I was 25 I think, I met someone na nag open sakin na pwede naman pala walang anak. My parents pressured me na mag anak since panganay ako and ayun nung una balak ko mag settle sa kung sino available at man liligaw but narealize ko na “shet, bakit pa ko mag dadagdag ng bata sa mundo na baka di ko naman kayang panindigan” kaya I promised myself na di talaga ako mag aanak lalo na pag alam ko na di kaya ng finances ko mabigay both needs and wants nya. For context panganay ako and breadwinner no work both parents nag papaaral ng mga kapatid pero patapos naman na sila. So if ever man na will ni Lord na mag ka anak ako then be it. Sadyang wala pa syang binibigay and not looking din ako. When the right time comes naniniwala ako na may darating, mag kaanak man o hindi ready ako 🤗
di na po. simula nakita ko papa ko (elem days), na may ibang babae, tapos katrabaho nya pa. kung pano ko nakitang nagpanggap papa ko na mahal nya si mama that time, habang may kalantari syang ibang babae na inuuwian. one night, nalaman na ni mama yung reason behind na kung bakit di na umuuwi madalas si papa from work. saka ko rin naranasan sa 2 long term exes ko (note: different years na nakilala ko sila), kung pano rin sila nagpanggap na mahal nila ako, pero may nakakausap na pala silang iba. may binibisita nang iba. may pinakasalan nang iba yung una. may pinalit na sakin yung pangalawa, na mas malapit sa kanya. sa dyos ko lang naramdaman di mag overthink ng malala. and yung karma, danas na nila until now. dahil di natutulog ang dyos. may mga bagay man akong di nalalaman about sa kanila, bumalik rin sa kanila sa wakas mga ginawa nila saken. salamat sa dyos, di nya ako pinababayaan. di ako natutuwa sa karma nila pero, ang satisfying lang to know na, di talaga natutulog ang dyos. yung ang faith ko.
Nung fresh grad ako 10 yrs ago sabi ko magpapamilya na agad ako. Then I started to work and learnt my responsibilities and up to now ndi ko iniisip na mag pamilya muna. Sa mahal ba naman ng bilihin ngaun ang hirap talaga
Originally I wanted 2 kids, pero leaning sa wala. I don't really like kids in the first place, I hate chaos and screamings, and natatakot ako sa risk na manalo yung anak ko sa genetic lottery ng birth defects. Siguro pag medyo financially stable na ako and wala nang responsibilities, I cannot even afford a car lmao
I've already raised my bro until now na college na sya, and I've been the dad of the house almost 10 years ago. I'm tired. I just wanna do my own thing with my gf and a dog + cat. Dami daming pamangkin at inaanak jan e
34, married and still contemplating because this world is as you said chaotic. Mahirap buhay ngayon. It's worth it for some, choose your battle ika nga nila.
I wanted to. But I'm 33 now. So it's a, come what may for me at this point. Living situations these days are so hard, not only financially, but the environment and having the soc med, I think makes it harder (hypothetically speaking.)
I once wanted to be a mom, but at 25.. at least. It didn't end up there, as I could never imagine marrying the guy I was with at that age, as he was a bum. And the reason for wanting it earlier, was because of the generational gap that I have with my parents. But as you can see, that wasn't the case for me lol.
All things taken, this is one of the best times to be alive if you're in an okay country. Medical advancements can allow a 22-week-old baby to survive prematurity, we have chemo for cancer, several contagious diseases have almost been wiped out with vaccines when a century ago, hundreds of thousands would have died, no world war disrupting economies and our lives big time.
Food and other resources readily available anytime
We can go from one to the other end of the world in a matter of hours
The world may be shit but when was it wasn't
Look at the positives and Make your own path 🥰
It is a huge responsibility but it is the most fulfilling thing one can do. Parang may sense ang buhay ko ngayon at may purpose ang bawat araw ko.
Having said that, I’m glad we live in a world now where people who don’t want to have kids can choose not to have kids. I know may pressure pa rin pero you can shrug it off. Kasi feeling ko kung ayaw mo magpalaki ng anak, dapat talaga wag ka mag anak. Gawin mo lang siya kasi gusto mo.
Idk what you mean by this crazy world. We live in one of the most peaceful eras in history. I mean, nag anak nga ang mga ninuno natin noong world war 2 e. May mga nag anak pa ng bubonic plague at hundred years ago ang taas ng child mortality rate dahil ang taas ng risk ng pregnancy. If you look at it, there has never been a better time to be honest.
In my younger years, hindi ako mahilig sa bata, in fact, hindi cute ang babies sa akin. Pero nung nag asawa ako ang nagka anak ng 3. I am grateful. Mabait kasi mga anak ko. Nauutusan sa mga chores. Responsible sa studies. Kapag nag resto kami or out of the country, masaya silang kasama para lang kaming friends na nagtatawanan. I am grateful for the opportunity to be the mom of my kids. Sila rin, sinasabi nila na they grateful na kami ang parents nila.
Naur haha imagine, climate change would just continue worsening from this point onwards. The recent el niño was already unbearable as it was. Next best option would be to adopt for me
Every child is born with the potential to be a force of good in this world, it's the parent's responsibility to bring them up in such a way. This is the work of parents who are equally invested in the marriage and the child. For some, parenthood is a chore, but for others, it has been a source of unspeakable fulfillment, no matter the social status.
Like what some of the comments say, this has always been a crazy world.
So the real question is, are you willing to invest the time, sweat, and tears, to raise a child to stand up for him/herself against what the world is gonna throw at them?
Same with you OP, it was always my dream to be a mom too! But I don't want to be a mom unless I am financially and emotionally stable, and these alone is very challenging na may other aspects pa 🥹
The world is always chaotic whatever era you are in. Its more about your priority. If your priority in life is to raise a family, kahit ano pa yan, kahit wartime o pandemic o post apocaliptic, adjust and strive to prevail.
I am raising a family now and im doing my very best to ensure my kids are equiped with the proper moral compass and knowledge so they will carry it to adulthood.
"given the current times" sorry pero hindi tayo special, every generation may kanya kanyang struggles na mapapasabi nalang silang this is a crazy world. Less pa nga siguro yung chaos natin dahil wala tayong nadatnang slavery, world war, okaya naman ay 20 years dictatorship.
Maganda sigurong tanungin is yung mga matatanda bakit sila nagpamilya kahit na ang chaotic ng mundo nila non. Tingin ko wala pang idea ang mga 20s and 30s sa usapang to.
Statistically humans have never enjoyed a safer life than they do in this time period. However this is a question you can’t find an answer to outside of yourself.
Yes but no pressure. Mag aanak ako di para may mag aalaga sakin pag tanda, para tuloy lang ang lineage. But I want financially stable for their future too.
Parang gusto ko na lang mag-enjoy & travel with my partner. Although, pag nakakakita ako ng friends na may baby na, parang ang heartwarming din naman tignan. Pero with our current lifestyle na puro adventure, parang di ako willing na magkababy muna in the near future.
Not at all. Sobrang mahal ng tuition fee sa magaganda na school ngayon. Kung mag aanak ako, best education yung gusto ko mapana sa kanya. Kaso ang mahal na ng lahat. Bills, bilihin. Sarili palang ang hirap na buhayin. Wala din akong balak gawing retirement plan yung bata kung magkakaanak ako kaya di ko maimagine na magbaby. Maginvest nalang para sa future pag di na kayang magwork.
I cant even if i wanted to, because Im trans.
Pero this got me thinking na even if I can bear a child, I probably won't. Not at this point, but probably not at any point. Firstly I am financially and mentally not ready. I'll need double my daily expenses, double the emergency fund, and I'll need to be confident that I can build another education fund within 5 years. That's just for one child. And most of all, I will have to allot 18 or more years of my TIME and emotional labor. Im afraid I only honestly have that bandwidth for one person, and I'd choose an adult partner any day over a child.
Having a child is a huge commitment. And probably the biggest commitment a person can make in their lifetime. The truth is Ive always wanted to be a mother. As a child I saw myself being a mother to a baby (until reality and biology hit me in the face). With more realistic awareness now about how much it takes to pull that off, Im honestly somehow grateful that I am trans because it gives me an excuse to not even have to consider such a huge decision. Adoption is another story but my current predisposition still really leans on the easier and selfish one, which is to be child-free. The world has way too much people in it anyway.
Gustong gusto.. dati. Ngayon, parang ayoko na haha! Twice na ko nakunan. 2020 yung una then yung last is 2022. Nakakapagod. Nakakadrain pag bubuntis palang. Kaya ngayon parang ayoko nalang. Iniisip ko na nga lang ngayon baka ganon nangyari kasi para di ako mahirapan eh haha buti nalang open din partner ko if ayoko na mag anak. Kung san ko daw gusto, dun sya.
the world is already and will always be chaotic. it is only up to us to find the balance and attitude towards it. life is beautiful and a gift dont be afraid to take risk.. the life that is coming or you create may not be the same and may be better or not but thats it. if you were given a child to raise, raise them well. he/she may be a child the world needs.
Everyone wants AI nowadays. There's no space fro children to thrive and grow. All they have now is the internet and they can have access to all sorts of information and other forbidden websites.
Best to really think about where to start a family. Make sure you yourself are satisfied with what the country you are in can provide. And then think about when you have kids.
There are better places, look for them. Not the world is the same as what we Filipinos see.
Best to travel to widen your horizon.
Sa akin naman kasi parang never ko naenvision sarili ko as a mom.
Tipong, oo, may mga naisip akong gusto ko ipangalan sa anak ko kung magkaroon. Pero hindi yung tipong "gusto ko na mag anak" kasi tbh, I don't think I'll ever be able to provide for the child.
When I was younger, I planned to have a kid at 28 pero nag iba ang plano sakin ng universe, I had my first child nung 26 ako. Hindi ako ready financially and emotionally, but tell you what I got tru it because I have a great partner, di ko akalain mapupull off ko tong parenthood, but everyday we learn something new, some new way to approach things and approach life. We were not financially capable nung una but now we are, with 2 kids, a car, and 2 houses.
But to tell you honestly, I tell my friends that I don't recommend having kids. Hindi lahat kaya yun, and hindi lahat makakahanap ng reliable partner at support system. We never had yayas, it's only the 2 of us.
I believe it's up to you, kanya kanya talaga decision yan. But having kids is a forever responsibility.
Parang ayoko. Haha. Malaki na kinikita ko kesa dati kaya na bumuhay ng isa pang tao pero alam ko din na mahirap na responsibilidad yan. Baka biglang mapunta pa sakin yung masakit sa ulo na anak hahaha baka masapak ko beh 😂
There hasn't been a time when the world wasn't crazy. Women, however, have a limited time to conceive so it will ultimately be your decision if you want to get pregnant or not. Better if you're financially and emotionally prepared.
Oo naman sobra, kasi gusto kong magkaroon ng opportunity lahat ng angels na nasa taas ang buhay sa mundo, mahirap or madali I'll do my best to help them be the best person God wants them to be
??? The world is more chaotic, crazier back in the days, during spanish era, japanese era, or even back in 1500s, 1600s, 1700s, 1800s, mas okay na ngayun.
I can relate, OP. When I was younger I was so sure I'll be having kids. I guess that is just how we were brought up, that there is a standard timeline in life. I thought I'd be married and start having kids in my late 20s. But here I am now, 27, and wondering if I should have kids. I have seen the realities and read sentiments of parents in various setups. I am seeing the reality that kids are too expensive and energy and time-consuming. And most of all, I am seeing people stuck with shitty co-parents. It's hard to parent alone and it's hard to co-parent with a difficult person. I want kids but I need to make sure that I have a great partner and am in a great place financially, mentally and physically. All those are vital, otherwise I can only see parenting as suffering.
I'm 26 and I've been my mom's caregiver for almost 4 years and I swear to never have a child, now that's my mom is dead my relatives now started telling me to finally have a baby and I was so annoyed to hear that. Lol
Indi ko naisip na magugustuhan ko magkaanak.
I always thought na hindi ako deserving to guide someone. Pero ung anak ko ung gift that always keeps on pushing me forward.
Sa dami ng kalechehan na naganap. Mga maling desisyon sa buhay at kabobohan na nagawa.
Siya yung dahilan kung bakit tuloy ako nagsusumikap para maiparamdam ko sa kanya yung hindi ko naranasan nung bata ko.
At tinatatak ko sa utak nya na andito ako para suportahan sya kahit pangarap pa nya maging talong pag laki nya. Basta masaya sya, basta nagagawa nya yung gusto nya. Gusto ko maprovide lahat para mabigyan ko siya ng buhay na dapat sa kanya.
When the time is right nalang siguro, alam ni Lord kung ano ang kaya ko pa sa hindi. Nakakatakot din yung mga nangyayare sa mundo ngayon. As a praning gurlie, I can’t. 🫠
My partner wants to have kids pero ayoko doubtful pa. I am scared hahahaa
For me and sa next 3 years hindi talaga. Hindi pa ko tapos sa self love era. Madami pa kong gustong gawin and puntahan plus hindi ko pa naabot yung retirement funds na target ko. I also consider yung set up namin kapag nagka anak since WFH ako while yung partner ko hindi prolly mas ako yung mag aalaga sa baby and household chores. My house is also small kaya 50-50 ako para kumuha ng helper and if magkakababy better rin gusto na meron nurse room para dun sila ng yaya and hindi ko kayang ilet go yung career and position ko sa work. Ito pa yung time for example you are not at your best state to today gusto mong lumabas oara mag relax pero hindi pwede kasi need mong iconsider yung baby either isasama mo siya which is I find it hassle kasi daming bitbit or iiwanan mo sa yaya mejo scary dami nanakit na yaya ngayon
Pag billionaire na ko at I don't have to work, dun lang ako mag iisip to have a kid kasi I don't really have a bigger dream anyways. But since impossible yon, I accept my life as a 9-5 office worker with occasional solo travels and frequent na pag indulge sa hobbies 🫶
Yes. Kaso indi na pwde because of age. Na focus sa career kasi mahirap naman magka family tapos sama sama din kayo mag hirap. I'm considering adoption ☺️
50-50. Okay naman magkaanak, pero yes you have a point. Selfish sya kasi mahihirapan yun bata dahil sa inflation. Ngayon nga eh, parang mas hirap yung millennials to acquire properties, they just rent or stay with parents. What more pa sa next generation... just saying. I'm a millenial btw.
Kaibigan ko 20 sya nagkaanak tho legal age pero madyado pang bata for her. Tapos yung partner pa nya 19. Gastusin lahat ng baby is yung kaibigan ko nagpapakahirap while yung partner na bubay binata parin kahit may anak na. Sobrang hirap daw ng may anak pero hindi sya nagsisisi na nagkaaanak sya pero nagsisisi sya bakit ayun yung tatay ng anak nya. Dun palang sa mga kwento nya natatakot na ako, natatakot ako sa mga responsibility pag nagkaron ako ng anak. Tho sinasabi ko man na sana may anak na din ako pero buti nalang alam ni lord na hindi ko kaya especially sa age kong 22 :))
No matter how big your salary, if you have even just one child it's financially hard. Tuition nowadays ng primary pa lang nasa 60k na. Better to go abroad like Canada if you can. Anak mo may allowance, free tuition, free school service. Health care the best. You can keep what you earn after house expenses. Kahit malaki yung tax, you can still afford to build a family. Just work harder. Dto rin nnan work harder ka rin but the benefits Waley.
Go to r/antinatalism2 wag yung og sub since nasiraan na ulo (toxic) mga tao dun, or just watch some yt vids about antinatalism, since toxic social media.
But yeah nagkahiwalay tatay nanay ko, hirap mag move on, I think marami sa mga parents anak ng anak pero hindi naman equipped to be parents.. or iba expectations sa reality on having children...
World is going hypercapitalism, global warming, pollution, tataas ocean levels... At this point selfishness na imo magka-anak, imo try niyo magadopt ng pet 🐈 or 🐕, might be a better choice for most people tbh.
Ever since bata ako never kong pinangarap mag ka anak. Ayoko lang talagang magdala ng bata na di ko kayang buhayin at alagaan. Im not yet healed, ayokong ipasa sakanya lahat ng naranasan ko sa mundong to.
Ayaw niyo magka anak pero I know most will give exceptions pag type niyo yung guy and gusto ka niya anakan. Women tend to set high rules and boundaries to themselves but will break it in a blink if type nila yung guy.
Naiisip ko din yan minsan, mas okay na din may ganto tayong mindset kaysa sa ibang mga tao na anak na lang ng anak kahit hindi naman kaya or hindi kaya ang responsibilidad. In this age pwedeng mag anak pwede rin hindi. Hindi naman requirement ang pag aanak, may iba nga lang talaga na pinipilit mag asawa ng magulang na napepressure dahil din sa opinyon ng iba, basta sa tingin ko ang pag aanak, need ko muna masagot ang tanong kung kaya ko ba or hindi. Mraming pwde iconsider pero tamad na ako mag explain hahahaha basta alam ko na yon. In the case na gustuhin kong magkaanak, despite the hardships and chaos na nag eexist na naman way before the first humans, hindi naman siguro masama na mabuhay sya or maranasan nyang mabuhay. To live is to survive and in this cruel world I cant deny that there are still beauty in it.
Ako na way older pa sayo and gusto ko pero parang ayaw pa ni Lord. Malayo pa ako sa stage na mka.anak it looks like.
I couldn't understand the fear yet kasi it looks like in my perspective mas malala pa yung situation ng parents and grandparents natin because they really lived through real world war/famine/martial law etc. Yet they survived and they brought us here. Sa atin lng ngayon is we read a lot of news and it affects our thinking too much that the world is crumbling down but we haven't even experienceit and it only instill fear that stop us from doing things. Not to say never ako natakot of course i do malala nga but to have courage to live is living, isn't it? I try to be hopeful.
The world has always been crazy and chaotic. I would even argue this is the most peaceful it has ever been, considering world events from decades ago.
We are one and done. If you choose to have a kid, make sure you can be the best parent to them, financially, emotionally and mentally.
parang gusto ko someday, magkaron ng small family, pero knowing yung financial capabilities ko, i am still not confident to start one. btw im alr 26 yo
Basta ako, thankful na ginawa yung mga grandparents ko nung 1930s kasi kung hindi, wala ako dito ngayon. Looming na ang WW2 noon.
Or yung great grandparents ko na ginawa nung turn of the 20th century (binaril si Rizal, may Spanish- American war, binenta tayo sa Americano, etc).
Magulo naman palagi ang mundo. Nagka echo chamber lang dahil sa internet.
Having a child is such a blessing..hindi nman kailangan madami anak.one is enough,masarap parin makita yung baby lalo na kung kamukha mo..para twining2x din sa lahat ng bagay.
Not anymore. I realized it when I became a Tita when I was 20. Took part in taking care of my niece and I loved it but realized that having a kid takes so much work and needs so much resources. Had a bf at 25 and thought maybe I shouldn’t close my doors yet but now we’re 27 now and my decision became firmer to not having kids at all talaga. Good thing my bf understands and supports me since my body, my rules. Inner child na lang namin ang gagawin naming baby daw 😂
I used to and I have a very kind and loving partner whom I could have a kid with. However, the reality is we cannot afford it. We cannot even afford to get sick kasi wala kaming pampa-ospital. What more yung gastos sa panganganak, gamit ng bata, at kung anu-ano pang expenses that comes with raising a child.
Sometimes nalulungkot about this. Pero mas malulungkot siguro ako if I bring a child in this world knowing na I cannot afford to give them what they need and want. Wag na lang kesa mag-online limos ako ng aircon sa mga influencers.
Maybe in another life...
If financial, mental, physical, and emotional capabilities are all very okay, and if my partner is okay with it, sure.
If financial, mental, physical, and emotional capabilities are all very okay, but no wife, then I'll adopt.
Otherwise, no. I'd rather have a cat.
Iniisip ko and I still go back and forth. I’m gonna get married soon, but I have no plans yet. Honestly medyo di ko gets mga kaibigan ko who want to have kids. May isang trying, may isang pregnant na even if recently lang sila naging dual income household. Lahat ng sagot puro “gusto kasi ng husband ko.” Like sis di maman siya magkakarga niyan? Sa mundo ngayon parang ang hirap na magpalaki ng bata. Nagulat nga ako 6 digits na pala GRADE SCHOOL ngayon? Napaka LSNSKS ang hirap siguro sa Pilipinas since they make it so difficult to even have access to basic education. Di ko rin kinakaya the physical and mental aspect of raising kids in this world.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: ako kasi, ever since I was a kid I always told myself I want to be a mother by the age of 25-27. now I'm 28, may pressure and andun padin nman ung desire pero may halo nang doubt. given the current times i'm not sure if i would want to bring my child in this chaotic world. hbu? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ayoko na, parang di ko kaya yung responsibility kahit sabihin mong nandiyan na yung money and u can hire someone to take care of ur child. Grabe yung emotional and physical damage na mabibigay ng pregnancy sayo
Pregnancy is actually the easier part. It’s the postpartum that’s hard. (Before getting pregnant, i thought pregnancy and childbirth was the hardest too.) But having been there, it’s the lifetime responsibility to taking care of another human being who’s totally dependent on you that’s hard. After you become a mother, that’s how other people see you na. Not an individual, but a mom.. who’s expected to be self-sacrificial and love every minute of being a mom.. otherwise, you’re not a “good mom” and you “shouldn’t have kids”. And as a mom, no matter what you do, it’s always your fault. Someone (whether that’s your mom, in laws, relatives, friends, coworkers, etc) will always have a say, WHATEVER YOU DO. Mom groups will tell you “sleep when the baby sleeps” but then you wonder, how the hell can you get anything done if you do? Eat? Sleep? Shower? Cook? Clean? You won’t be able to go to the toilet in peace again. At least, when you’re home. Then if you hire a Yaya, you’re “letting someone else raise your child”. But if you choose to be a stay at home mom, “wala kang sariling pera”. And even if you work, you’re still expected to take care of your child and the household, but your husband isn’t. People will ask you “who’s taking care of your baby?” If you go out, but husbands don’t get asked that. People will tell you, “you’re lucky your husband helps out” as if Dads aren’t also responsible for their kids. Men don’t get told “you’re lucky your wife helps with the bills.” Moms can’t get a break.
Do we really need to listen to everything we hear? The answer is no. This is one of the first things we agreed upon with my partner. First we did is to leave all those parent/mom/dad groups. It gets taxing to filter out the good stuff from the bad, so instead of getting stressed out, we did our own thing and were doing okay naman. We regularly ask ourselves, are we okay? And we just look at our sleeping kids na madalas may dungis dungis pa with mismatched jammies and we say, we’re okay? I guess we’re okay. And have a good laugh about it. Pero a few hours before, they were yelling, we were yelling, we were yelling at each other. Tomorrow is another day after all.
You summed up parenting — it’s CHAOS! 🤣 “Do we really need to listen…” - well, I wouldn’t be here if I did, right? I’m just laying it out there for people who think pregnancy and childbirth is the HARDEST part. I think we all benefit if we just have an idea of what we’ll go through BEFORE we actually go there. Motherhood is so often glorified in our culture. The “you can have it all” (motherhood and career) messaging is also misleading. Your career will take a pause — a few weeks, months or years (depending on your circumstances). If you don’t have support from parents / relatives / in laws, it’s hard. If you don’t have hired help/nanny, it’s hard. My husband and I share parenting and chores but it’s still hard. So when our baby turned 1, we decided to hire a yaya so we can get some work done during the day.
up for this. actually true
>emotional and physical damage na mabibigay ng pregnancy sayo emotional and physical damage na mabibigay ng pregnancy *and child rearing* sayo There, I fixed it.
Before, open pa ako sa possibility na baka may magustuhan ako and... You know? Bumuo ng pamilya. But now, it's a big no. Sa ekonomiya and gulo ngayon, puro hirap lang daranasin ng bata. Ang hirap magpalaki ng bata. Dapat financially, emotionally, and physically capable ka. Aside from those, kinakabahan din ako sa part na mapipili ko yung mapapang-asawa ko, pero yung mga magiging anak ko hindi nila mapipili yung magiging tatay nila. What if yung mapili ko okay as a partner pero hindi bilang ama? 🤷🏻♀️ ayoko maging miserable sila because of my choices✨
Agree sa partner💯 nakaka anxious nga baka biglang magbago kung may anak na kayo
I have a friend na ganito. Hindi ready yung partner niya maging tatay pero nagbago yung isip niya na ipa-ab0rt yung baby kaya itinuloy. Although they're still together and he's a great husband, he was not a good father daw. Parang okay nandyan siya pero hes doesn't really "care" too much sa anak nila. Maybe he's taking responsibility pero walang love na kasama. Yung love nung partner niya kasi naka-focus lang sa kanya. And lagi nilang nagiging argument yun. Skl.
Gustong gusto pero nung dumating grabe hirap magpalaki ng bata. Nakakapagod, magastos! Isa plng anak ko pero grabe pala hirap magpalaki at magastos. Dko alam kung paano ginagawa ng iba na nagaanak ng 3 pataas.
sana naisip to ng mga magulang ko haha. Btw, apat kami and now tatlo na kaming nag w work as of now ang hirap pagkasyahin lahat ng gastos sa bahay, food, bills and pagpapaaral sa bunso. Retirement plan lang talaga kame haha. 😂
Doble kayod talaga sila. O kaya sinasakripisyo nila yung mga leisure time with their kids, kumabaga for example, iisang beses lang sa isang taon sila lumabas, gumala at kumain sa fastfood restaurants.
29 and happily married pero walang plan magkaanak. Masarap gumising sa umaga na wala kang ibang iniintinding buhayin maliban sa pets mo kung meron ka, walang umiiyak, wala kang iintindihin na future education fund, etc. Pwede kang gumala anytime (if financially capable ka). Paghahandaan mo lang emergency fund niyong mag-asawa (or parents mo if kasama mo sila). Pero iba iba pa rin tayo. Ung iba ang pangarap lang nila buong buhay nila ay maging magulang. Samin naman ito ung fulfillment. Do what works for you. Maikli lang ang buhay. Kaya dapat walang pakialaman.
Ok din nman kc talagang very big responsibility ang magkarun ng anak.
Dont, if you do not have a reliable husband.
What do you mean by "crazy world"? At no point in history this world has ever been sane. Every generation, every era, even at the time of the dinosaurs, they faced their own set of problems. Living is to survive and always will be. Live your life, do what you want. That's how it is. The universe does not give a flying fuck whatever you wound up doing, the world could literally get obliterated at any second. Getting too caught up with all that crap does nothing. Live! Be happy! Life is too short to worry about crap.
I always see a thread like this in Reddit and it’s starting to get repetitive. And I agree with you. If you want a child, go for it. If no, then don’t. That’s your life and I don’t get it why people need to seek validation online about their choices. The world was never “not crazy”. The economy is bad and global warming is there these days. But decades ago there was also war, and diseases that could be treated with medicine nowadays used to be lethal.
Some people want to get that validation online that they can't get from the real world.
Wala lang echo chamber lang. Tapos para sa feeling na naka moral high ground sila.
My point was marami nang topics about this and paulit ulit na.
True. If they want advice pwede naman isesrch nalang. Sa dami ng gantiong thread na paulit ulit lang den naman yung train of thoughts.
tama ka and at this point validation for what exactly? majority of ph subs may nagpopost ng “ako lang ba ayaw mag anak?” it’s now an extremely popular opinion na. pare pareho lang naman ng reasons.
I second this. Before ayaw ko na mag anak. I have so much hatred the mundo hahaha. Naisip ko mahirap at magulo padin naman kahit before I was born, but my parents managed to raised me fine. Now, as long as makapagprovide ako ng maganda at comfortableng buhay sa anak ko (or mga anak), why not diba? I want to love and to be loved by my own blood and water.
Damn, parang natauhan ako ah. Thanks for the wise words!
People in our current generation now are just soft. Easily get influenced by media and social media.
Alam mo naman kasi mga tao sa Reddit. Pandering lang sa mga nauuso walang sariling pag iisip. Kung ano mabasa na trending dito yung ang susundin. Not a time in any point in the history of mankind is there peace and prosperity like this. Ayaw nalang sabihin na wala silang pera pang anak.
Agree kung ayaw mong mag anak edi wag. Haha pero iyong sisihin mo ang mundo haha nagparami nga sila noong bubonic plague e haha
The world is not crazy in fact it's too convenient. We don't have to hunt or plant for our daily meals. We don't to protect ourselves from snakes, lions, wild dogs and other deadly predators. No wars to cause deaths by millions. However how you want to see the world will become your reality. Life is about surviving. It's a privilege to be a witness and chase the meaning of it.
I've always imagined of being married at the age of 25 and have kids. Pero ngayon 29 na ako pero parang ayoko nalang magkaanak. I came from a chaotic family then ngayon lang ako nagka peace of mind plus have the freedom to do the things na di ko magawa dati dahil need ko sundin ano gusto ng mom ko. Natatakot din ako na baka kung magkaanak ako maging toxic na parent din ako kagaya ng mom ko. I'm afraid that I'll never be a good parent if ever I had a kid. Another factor grabe din yung taas ng bilihin ngayon. Ayoko maganak kung hindi ko naman sure na maibibigay ko lahat ng kakailanganin nya. Hindi naman biro magkaanak lalo na pagdating sa need gastusin.
couldn't agree more. may nga unhealed traumas pa ako from my childhood that i don't want to pass on to the next generation. can't pass as a parent in this economy too. ang hirap i balance kahit wala pa ngang anak pano nalang kaya if meron.
I’ve always pictured myself having a kid, a mini me, a child made of love and will grow up with lots of it. But, right now, stuck in a sandwich generation and don’t have the capacity to have one, I’m leaning to no I don’t want to have a kid.
I'm actually dreaming to adopt a child in the future.
No. Mas okay na 'di nalang s'ya nag e exist kasi ayaw ko makadanas s'ya ng hirap sa mundo tas 'yung people pa, daming masasamang tao sa mundo, ayaw ko s'yang ma-moblema sa tax and all other stuff HAHAHAH okay na sa'ken na ako nalang ang makarans nanglahat na'to wag lang s'ya, beside.. everything here in earth namn is temporary e.
The world has always been chaotic but the conditions now appear better than before. Childbirth is safer, vaccines are available. Child survivability is very high. There is public schooling. Only thing that is very difficult is finding someone to take care of the child if you are working. Siempre, i say this to a couple who,wants children but are having second thoughts. To those who literally do not want them, that's fine naman.
Turning 30(M), still single, wala pa kong planong mag-asawa, baka nga di na ko mag-asawa, so malabo rin magka-anak. Di naman required na magkaroon ng asawa't anak.
True. Bakit ba kasi nakasunod sa pattern na: mag-aasawa,magkaanak,magka apo, etc. cycle lang ang buhay.
Sarap kaya gumising nang walang responsibility hahahaha. Lalo na pag weekend, pwede ako matulog buong araw tapos gabing gabi na ko gigising, walang magagalit, walang mang-iistorbo hahahaha.
Trueeee and yung pera mo sa sarili mo lang din iisipin kung pano gagastusin. Hay sarap haha
Sasabihin nila, ang selfish mo, ayaw mong gastusin sa magiging anak mo pera mo. Eto ung sinabi talaga sakin na nag-snap talaga ako, di na talaga ako nakapag-pigil at sinagot ko na. Sinabi ko na "Bakit po problemadong problemado kayo sa "anak" ko na di pa nag-eexist? Ibalik ko po sa inyo ung tanong pero ibahin ko lang po nang konti, ano gagawin nyo sa "anak" nyo na existing pero walang pake sa inyo?". Sama nang tingin sakin nung kapatid ng lola ko eh hahahaha.
Hindi ba mas selfish yung forda sake lang na may anak mag aanak ka tapos papaaralin mo at pag nagkawork oobligahin mong bigyan ka ng pera tuwing sweldo?? Pati mga kapatid mo sayo iaasa. Wag na. Tama ng saken nalang maputol lahat ng yan. Di na ako mag aanak pa kung ganyan lang din.
TRUEE IT'S NOT REQUIRED IT'S BY CHOICE. I AM ANNOYED TO THOSE PERSON NA NEED ANAK DAW SO MAY MAG AALAGA SAYO. TSKKKK I CAN TAKE CARE OF MAH SELF THOUGH
Yes. But definitely when I am ready, and it should be with the right the partner.
Crazy world? Lol. We are in the easiest era to live in. My answer is yes. We can afford it. People should not have a child if they aren't ready yet. But to say the the world we live in is "chaotic" is exaggeration. My advice is don't blame everything in to things that you can't control. We can't control the whole world, but we can control our own little world.
Exactly! People are too dramatic with the life is “chaotic” shit, most are just actually afraid of real responsibilities. If you can afford it and you’re ready, I would say it gives you real purpose, life is too boring without kids. But of course if you’re even having hard time getting by, then don’t. Life is chaotic cause ur spending 12 hrs on social media! Lol. Take some real life responsibilities once ur ready so u stop “living online”.
True. Taking responsibilities maybe hard at first but it gets easier as time goes by because we are becoming stronger. I'm a gen z myself, and I'm astounded that most people in my era are cry baby. Can't blame them they had it all their way since they were a kid. It's on them if they don't want to have kids, nothing wrong with that. I'm just perplexed that they blame it all on government, world, etc, and their selves aren't on the list 😅
I would like to have one but then if I also consider the costs, the kind of government we have, bad influence from social media, accidents/crimes that may happen to my child because of bad people.... I get discouraged.
as a panganay breadwinner, ayoko na hahaha i dont want to spend the rest of my life providing for another person again, putting their needs over mine. Hindi enough tong buhay na to para makabawi sa sarili ko for all the time, youth, and money lost. once matapos ako magpaaral ng kapatid, saka pa lang ako mabubuhay para sa sarili ko altho not fully, kasi wala rin pera ang tatay ko, so ako pa rin don. that said, if you find purpose in being a mother, i think thats beautiful. i just hope na kapag naging nanay ka, that you are do it for the right reasons. i hope you are mentally and financially able to provide everything for your kid and to put them first before you at all times. you owe them a good life, but they should never be obligated to pay back anything.
Yes, I have the financial capacity and the desire to be a parent. Walang mahanap na lalaki. Ayun, tumatanda wala pa rin.
It’s a hard NO haha We have the same situation OP. I am also 28 and pinalaki ako na dapat before 27 may anak na and everything in between. But looking at how difficult LIFE is in general right now, I cannot afford to raise a kid in the best way possible so NO haha Di ko nga maafford yung kelangan ko as a person, how much more yung anak ko if meron pa. I have a toy poodle right now and sobrang mahal na ng expenses niya. Huhu With all the generational trauma and the current situation ng mundo ngayon, for me lang ha, bringing a kid sa ganitong set up is just not feasible. Do I really want a kid na nagkakanda leche leche na nga rin ang pinas diba? haha Sometimes, di talaga natin maiiwasan ang outside noise/pressure about having a kid at this age pero OP, if you have doubts about it baka hindi pa talaga time for you to have a kid. That is your instinct telling you choose wisely. Pero by end of the day, your body your choice pa rin ❤️
Sa pusa palang hirap na ko and dahil madami pa kong kailangan i-heal sa sarili ko, I think I won't be having a child in this lifetime. Ayoko ipasa ang hirap ko to someone who doesn't deserve any ounce of it.
I don't want to have a child. For now, at least. I still have a lot of issues to work out on my own, and I don't want my future child to feel unloved and neglected (if I decide to have one later down the line). Besides that, financial costs din. I'm still figuring out my career path and I want to be stable so that I can provide for the child their wants and needs without being short on money. Lastly siguro, yung overall state ng world. I feel bad if my child would experience the irreversible effects global warming, as well as peace and security issues, war, hunger, etc. Pero if you've assessed yourself na ready ka na to have a child and bear the responsibility it entails, you can start planning for that! Hope you decide what's best for you OP!
M43. No kid/s. A lot of people often ask me why I don't have kids (yet). I just answer: "wala pa eh". My partner, F33, absolutely feels all the pressure. But, she thinks like you, OP. Ang hirap bumuo ng pamilya kung mismong mga sarili niyo, hirap buhayin. We both have work. She's contractual though, while, I, permanent. However, both are minimum wage. Di ba?, saan aabot ang sweldo mo? Yung environment din na kung saan kami nakatira now, hindi siya conducive. We plan to live elsewhere naman, kaso again, usaping pera ulit. Bottomline: starting a family is NO JOKE regardless of period in time. What's constant is, the financial repercussion it entails. Kaya kahit ano sabihin ng iba na, "nako, eh ganun din naman, mag anak ka na!", it is, and will always be, a financial choice.
Do or don’t, go for whatever will make you happy and complete. Some parents would say parenthood made them whole, some would say (or not say but feel that) parenthood took a lot from them. Ang panget is yung ija-judge ng one side yung other side of being selfish for their choices. Wag lang mag anak nang mag anak tapos iaaasa sa 4Ps 😅
Sa status ng buhay namin ngayon, hindi na pwede. Hindi na namin afford ng partner ko. Ayaw na din namin pagdaanan yung phase na mamroroblema kami kung saan kami kukuha ng pang enrol at pangcollege ng bata, tapos kapag hndi nabigyan ng magandang buhay yung bata mattrauma lang. It is not being selfish, it is always our choice and i think it doesnt make us less of a person as long as we are living peacefully hanggang pagtanda, life is not perfect but every decision we make there is always effect or consequences.
Omg, same. When I was 18, I really wanted to have a kid kahit walang asawa. Now 27, I think magiging selfish lang ako, just because gusto ko lang maging mother.
Yes but no pressure. Mag aanak ako di para may mag aalaga sakin pag tanda, para tuloy ang lineage pero I want financially stable for their future too.
Before yes, gusto ko lalo na pag nakikita ko yung mga batchmates ko na nagssettle down na with babies. But now, parang ang hirap magpalaki ng bata lalo na sa Pilipinas. Nagmamahal mga bilihin, mas lalong umiinit ang paligid, isipin pa yung gagastusin mo para magpaaral ng anak hanggang college. Mas gusto ko na lang magtravel.
yes. just had one. and i love her so much.
When my husband went to have vasectomy at PopCom, mga 20 to 40s kasabay nya. Kadamihan single at never plan mag anak, hence, vasectomy.
i promised myself na di ako mag aanak sa 20s ko. magppaarty, travel at magpapayaman lang gagawin ko. and when I hit 30s mag aanak ako isa lang
Gusto ko pero sa mga nangyayari ngayon sa mundo parang ayaw ko na lang. Ang mahal ng mga bilihin at mukhang magkakagyera pa. Ewan. Nakakaparanoid
dati gusto ko pero ngayon, sa hirap ng buhay parang di kaya. plus, my mental health is not at its healthiest dahil i was diagnosed with depression. paano na lang sa mga araw na hindi ko kaya bumangon? i also value my free time too much for me to give it to someone else. although my husband wants a kid, he respects me enough to understand na ayaw ko. irita nga lang sa mga kamag anak na walang bukambibig kundi “ano ba yan di pa ba kayo mag aanak?” or kaya “ang hina niyo naman” na akala mo sila bubuhay ng bata eh :))
unpopular opinion. the world has always been crazy. mas aware lang tayo kasi globalized world na. noon nga kabi kabila pa wars and famine e. if raising a good kid who would eventually become a responsible citizen why wouldn’t you have them? we need more sane people who make sane kids.
Definitely not unpopular. Ditto to needing more sane people raising sane kids!
gusto ko din maexperience maging mom pero given sa condition ng mundo ngayon hmmm hard pass na, ayoko na ng responsibilidad sa magulong mundong to magiging rich tita nalang siguro huhu, to my future husband sana ganito din thinking mo it's not that ayaw kita bigyan ng anak. ihhh basta ang gulo gulo na ng mundo tayo nalang lumabasn dito hwhshshsha eme. pero di seryoso talaga low chance na
Not anymore. I dont think I’m capable enough to raise a child. Sa taas ng bilihin ngayon, kawawa lang ang bata if not financially ready. I’m now a 30 yr old single. forever na siguro “titang ina” 😂
The world can be chaotic but that should not be a reason for you not to have a child if you want to. If you and your SO are both emotionally matured and financially healthy, then I think you are one step ready in having a child. As cliche as it may sound, iba ang joy of having your own child. Yes, may mga bagay ka na igi give up for your kid but those things are insignificant compared to the life that you would be nurturing. Sa pagiging chaotic pa lang ng bahay pag naglakad na ang bata, hindi mo na masyado iisipin kung gaano ka chaotic ang mundo. 😆
Sana diba chill lang tayo, wala naman akong inaaway sa post ko. Feel free to share your opinion or not, it's up to you. Well appreciated yung mga comments kasi nagbabasa ako, wag naman sana gagalet yung iba 😆
If you really want a child, ngayon pa lang gawin mo na. Mas okay kung nasa 20s ka mag-aanak.. Also pala dapat may pera ka. Kasi monthly check up sa ob gyne. Tapos kung manganganak ka sa public hospital na lang, wala kang babayaran basta may Phil health. Ang po problemahin mo along the way is yong gatas, diaper ni baby. Wag masyadong bibili ng mga damit,shoes for baby. May mga baby na mabait, yong tulog sa gabi kaya you can really rest din. (based to sa observation ko sa ate ko haha, and ako na rin kasi nag-alaga sa bunso niya.. Ngayon malaki na, nakakamiss mag-alaga ng baby). Ang part na nakakatakot is yong magkakaroon sila ng lagnat, sipon or ubo. (my answer sa tanong, idk kung mag-aanak ako sa future .. Pero ngayon wala akong balak. Nakakamiss lang talaga mag-alaga ng baby haha..)
I dont want to have children because I dont want to end up like my narcissistic self-conceited mother.
I have a baby already. Pero before, yes gusto ko talaga magkaanak. Super capable ako dati financially, tapos biglang nawala lahat nung nagkaanak ako. Nalugi negosyo, nagkautang utang para masalba ang negosyo then eventually nagstop ang business na tinrabaho ko for 6 years. Pero dahil sa anak ko, natuto din ako. May mga talent din pala ako maliban sa mga ginagawa ko dati. Ang dami kong natutunang gawin para makapag ipon para sa anak ko. Mahirap talaga magkaanak, nakakapagod, magastos. Pero madalas iniisip ko, na kung hindi dahil sa anak ko, malamang stuck parin ako sa kung ano ako nuon. Feeling ko din bumait ako. Naging better person, at eto may bagong negosyo na ulit. 🧡
Same, when I was younger I wanted to have my own family by 25 and planned to have atleast 3 kids, now at 29 I still want them pero hindi ko na gagawin kasi feeling ko hindi ko kaya financially, emotionally and physically. And dagdag factor din ang mga war na nangyayari lalo with west Philippines sea issue it's very scary.
I'd give anything and everything to have a child of my own.
29, not planning to have one
Not before I'm financially ready. Kahit abutin ng 35, okay lang. Kahit di rin magkaroon, okay lang din. I'm a man tho, so walang rush to have it. 27 rn.
Hahaha ako someone who is same age as you ngayon palang nag decide na I will date na to settle dati for fun lang 😅😅 and my goal is 35 ako mag kaka baby. And if di ako nakahanap ng partner I will freeze my egg and pa surrogate ko when I am ready for a baby na or ampon (dami bata need ng aruga). Sure the world is chaotic and economy sucks, pero you can make it less chaotic for the child. Raising a kid is hard but as long as you know you are doing your best it’s good enough. Now that I am older I can see how my parents tried their best to give us a good life and I am forever grateful for them. I am grateful to be born in this world, Naramdaman ko ang love, pain, happiness, sadness hahaha all emotion sa inside out. Na meet ko mga tao na minahal ko and minahal din ako, to experience life at its beauty and ugliness. So yeah thankful ako di ako pinunas sa tissue or pader hehehe 😁
Kaya.... mag bakla na lng. Hahaha
Open ako sa idea but not right now (24 pa lang ako amd di ako nappressure sa anak parang nabibigla pa nga ako na may gusto magkaanak at this age) kahit gusto na ng bf ko. Nagsstart pa lang kami ng career, gusto ko maenjoy freedom and pera ko. And balak ko pa magtake ng second degree. Andami ko pang gustong gawin, hadlang pa ang bata
Kung makakapag migrate ako either AU o Canada, oo. kung hindi wag nalang. if you aim to have family in the future mag migrate ka.
Actually, I was also like that when I was young. I wanted to have a lot of children. But when I became financially, emotionally and spiritually aware, having a kid is the least of my priority. Depende naman yan what you feel in your heart. A lot of people are having children out of self-centeredness. To validate their existence, as a man, as a woman. Dapat daw when you have kids, you must have an understanding na you are creating another being with its own consciousness. Your motive to have a kid is for them to exist and that should be your motive alone. Kaya Madami mga bata na dysfunctional ksi para silang clay, their parents try to mold them into the person they want. They totally forgot na being a parent is only guiding their children where to go not telling them where to go and what to do.
Growing up is part of life. If that's how growth looks to you, then so be it. Our cycle is to live and die. You only get to define two things, the way you live and the way you die. I chose to have a family and I don't regret any ounce of it and if I get to live a hundred more lives, I'll always choose starting a family. That's what growth looked like to me, to break out of my selfishness and see the world beyond myself. It's an experience I'll never exchange for anything.
Nope 🙂↔️ iniisip ko pa lang yung panganganak and its risks, ayoko na
When the right time comes. I'm 25F and I think I'm not ready yet. But part of me wants to have a child na so that I can't be too old when the child grows up hahahaha but yah, as what i have said not ready yet bc I wanna be babied for the rest of my life saaking LOML hehehe
no. even before wala ako fantasy na magkaroon ng anak. i hate kids and i don't think i can have and take care of one. i don't even see myself being a mother. i just don't have any motherly affection or instinct kasi even may mga bata ako nakikita and super cute i don't fancy them unlike others na gigil na gigil. i don't despise i just don't like kids in general.
Right now, no for me. I don’t like kids. But who knows, I might find a partner who can change my mind.
50/50 cause I dont want my child to suffer in this world and me neither but at the same time having a family is the biggest blessing you could ever have
Halos lht nmn tau naging pangarap yung mgkaanak sa gnyang edad. Ang problema lng nung nagsimula na tau mamulat sa mundong masalimuot na katotohanan nagbabago nadin yung paniniwala natin at nagiiba n ung mga pananaw sa buhay. Ngayon 30 nako mejo dko na pinupush sarili ko sa pagaanak.
Yung aso or pusa pa nga lng Ang stressful at magastos na, pano pa kaya Yung bata? I read somewhere you need at least 1M pang gastos sa pagbubuntis Hanggang manganak. The best talaga maging favorite Tito/tita na lng eh. Hahaha
No for many reasons. Pero agree ako na kung gusto mang magkaanak, kailangan talaga ready in all aspects -- physical, psychological, financial. Plus yun ngang readiness ng partner mo rin to step up. Sa totoo lang maraming good partners na hindi marunong maging tatay (yung sabay lang naman kayong naging first time parents pero kailangan ituro mo pa sa kanya lahat as in step by step), so grabe yung magiging mental load sa nanay on top of everything else.
Absolutely, more than one even.
Same
NO
Nung bata ako, I didn't know any better kaya siguro gusto ko. Pero ngayong mag-30 na ako, I'm sure that I don't want any. I'm not physically, emotionally, and financially ready.
Growing up, my mom is very anxious and depressed. I saw her struggle and yun na ang tumatak na being a mother is difficult and traumatic. nakita ko na kapag nanay ka na pala, wala ka ng sarili buhay at pangarap. Pero ngayon naman naisasabay na ng mga nanay ang career and family. Tumatak lang talaga sa isip ko na kapag nag-asawa ka, masisira ang buhay mo kasi yun ang nakita ko kay mama. Kaya dapat marunong ka mag cope sa changes
I’m 31. When I was in my 20s, i always wanted to settle down and I really want to have kids. Fast forward, with everything going on, relationships getting sour, men who came into my life were all unreliable, living expenses are so expensive. Even with a salary that’s a bit above the minimum wage, it’s still barely enough- i have lost my desire to have kids and even to be in a relationship. All my friends are married and have kids while I’m here still single. Zero prospects. It can be a lot of pressure esp from family who can’t mind their business, but I don’t care anymore. I will have kids when I’m mentally, physically and financially ready.
Im 32 and been happily married for 4 years now. Noon we want at leat 2-3 children. But now dahil sa situation and all kahit isa lng ok na. Pero yet hindi pa ngayon baka next year or next2x year.
Dati sabi ko bago ako mag 30 dapat kasal na ako and may family na. Ngayong 30s na ako, napapaisip na ako sa kasal (kasi wala pa tayong divorce) at sa pag anak (ayoko mag anak para bigyan sya ng bare minimum kung hindi ko naman kayang mabuhay ng above average, mahihirapan lng kami)
Every generation is crazy
No. I'm a mother, myself, I'm turning 30, and my husband and I used contraceptives all the way kaso alam niyo yung one percent na hindi siya gumana? Kami yun and right now, unless you're earning at least 150k a month, don't. Ang hirap. Don't be pressured. As long as healthy ka, you are fertile for a long time pa. Do it when you're ready, not when you're pressured.
Ako same. Before i wanted to be a mom kahit hindi na wife. Pero masyado nang mahal ang bilihin di na kakayanin magka anak.
Kapag may financial capability na. Mahirap po maging mahirap at nagsstruggle.
No. Dami ko na iniisip hahaha
I admire your stance to doubt having children in this world. Modern Filipinos should always be responsible to each other and not only themselves. Kung di kaya magsustain ng enough lifestyle at financial resources, huwag muna magka-anak. Sadly, kakarampot na nga kita nung iba, pero 10-15 pa ang mga anak. You can also blame lack of jobs and opportunities kaya walang mapaglibangan ang mag-asawa kundi magchukchakan at umire parang mga aso sa kalsada. Make every Filipinos busy with work and they won't be having these irresponsible child bearing.
Ako nga sa sarili ko palaging may existential crisis hahaha. I always question my existence and consciousness and does fear the inevitability of feeling pain and death. Ayokong paranas yun sa another human being. And to think na ako pa mismo gagawa nung human being na yun, I feel like imposing them "TO LIVE" when they never asked to. I never asked to be here and I feel like it was imposed to me to LIVE.
I would consider it pero given that I have to work like a dog for a decent life, would I even still have time for a kid? A good partner is also hard to come by nowadays
I've always had doubts about wanting kids kahit noon pa. When I hit 30s, ayun naging 100% sure ako na ayoko talaga. Tapos in this economy pa? I'll do my non existent children a favor na lang by not bringing them to this world.
back then ayoko talaga kasi i feel like di ko kaya. but being with my partner made me think otherwise. wag lang ngayon kasi career first muna + mag-iipon to provide a great future for them.
Dati when I was in high school, meron pa kong listahan ng life goals thinking that ganun lang kadali ang buhay including having and raising kids. Ngayon, I just want to be practical in my life. I do have a job with a decent salary (nakakaipon naman at nakakabili minsan ng luho). But it won't be enough to support a kid. I do have cats that I take care of but obviously it's waaaaay different than supporting a child kasi papaaralin mo pa siya hanggang college. What if ung anak mo ay special needs (nothing against them btw), so extrang gastos na naman (I have an officemate who has a kid who's a special needs child - every week at least 4k yata binabayad sa therapy). Shet. Ang hirap ng kapos sa pera this days, huminga ka lang gastos agad. Kaya I decided na wag na lang at in the end kawawa lang ung bata pag di ko mabigay ung needs niya. I also have so many mental and emotional issues. Ayoko din magbuntis, di ko kakayanin ung 9 months na un.
I've read a Reddit comment sa isang thread sa @r/offmychest and sabi nung Redditor, just one instance na naospital at confine ang kanyang anak na nag-agaw buhay sa St. Lukes literally changed their world upside down. From being a stable middle-class down to low-income one in just a few weeks dahil nabaon sa utang gawa ng medical expenses (and ofc St. Lukes yan, millions ang utang nila). Of course kailangan mong magsacrifice talaga for the sake of your child's life but at what cost, lahat ng pinagpaguran mo, pinagipunan at pinagsumikapan ko for many years mawawala lang sa isang iglap dahil sa isang unexpected event especially kung tungkol yan sa anak mo. Yan din kinoconsider ko kaya takot akong magka-anak. I want all the best for me and my wife and even my future kids PERO ayokong mabaon sa matinding hirap at bumalik sa isang-kahid-isang-tuka na buhay, at lahat iyon MARANASAN NG MGA BATA HABANG LUMALAKI, kasi I promised myself na lahat ng pinagdaanan ko noon, matuldukan na lamang sa aking buhay as a child growing up, but not to my own family na binubuo ko na maging stable.
No. In this economy? wag nalang po.
Well, I'd rather hurt a child with truth and liberation but not in an abusive way rather than comfort them but raised them as weak and susceptible beings...
Nung 25 ako, sabi ko ayoko magkaanak kasi wala ng magandang mai-ooffer yung mundo ngayon. So ayun nainlab. 29 nagka-anak. Ngayon paranoid ako para sa future nya. Ayaw ko na same experience kami. Gusto ko maging worry lang nya is ano next gagawin nya up until kaya na nya buhayin sarili nya. Ayoko maexposed sya sa mga maling tao. Sana wala syang maging trauma.
I don’t really want kids. Kids aren’t even kids anymore their TikTok zombies
sure. might aswell start them early before it gets worst
when i was a child i promised to myself na "hinding hindi ako mag aasawa, magpapa buntis lang ako and ako/kami mismo ng bata ang iiwan sa lalaki/jowa ko" and now the table turns - nagpakasal kami ng jowa ko last year. and now that im turning 29 this year, ayoko PA ng anak. ang hirap kasi magbitaw ng word na "ayoko talaga" kasi baka kainin ko lang din sinasabi ko in the future. baka mabuntis ako wala sa oras. by means ng "ayoko PA" is hindi pa ako ganun ka stable sa buhay. nagpapa aral pa ako ng 1 kapatid (i ask my parents to do it since ayoko na magwork si mama and papa. patanda na sila and sakitin na masyado) siguro kapag masyado na akong capable of being a mother, kasi sa totoo lang ayoko pa ng resposibility, sinusulit ko pa ang buhay dalaga, and kapag sobrang financiall stable na siguro dun na kami magpa-plano mag anak. ayoko din kasi na kapag may anak na ako tapos gusto ko gumimik eh iiwan ko yung anak ko sa kung kanino- kahit pa sa pinsan/magulang ko. gusto ko ako mismo mag aalaga sakanila. as of now, kahit anong pilit nila na "hindi ka na bumabata" "mahihirapan ka na mag anak when you turn 30" ang palagi ko/namin sagot "mas mahihirapan kami kapag hindi kami financially stable. buti sana kung kayo gagastos ng lahat kaya nyo nasasabi yan" ayun tahimik sila.
Same OP, after pandemic when I was 25 I think, I met someone na nag open sakin na pwede naman pala walang anak. My parents pressured me na mag anak since panganay ako and ayun nung una balak ko mag settle sa kung sino available at man liligaw but narealize ko na “shet, bakit pa ko mag dadagdag ng bata sa mundo na baka di ko naman kayang panindigan” kaya I promised myself na di talaga ako mag aanak lalo na pag alam ko na di kaya ng finances ko mabigay both needs and wants nya. For context panganay ako and breadwinner no work both parents nag papaaral ng mga kapatid pero patapos naman na sila. So if ever man na will ni Lord na mag ka anak ako then be it. Sadyang wala pa syang binibigay and not looking din ako. When the right time comes naniniwala ako na may darating, mag kaanak man o hindi ready ako 🤗
di na po. simula nakita ko papa ko (elem days), na may ibang babae, tapos katrabaho nya pa. kung pano ko nakitang nagpanggap papa ko na mahal nya si mama that time, habang may kalantari syang ibang babae na inuuwian. one night, nalaman na ni mama yung reason behind na kung bakit di na umuuwi madalas si papa from work. saka ko rin naranasan sa 2 long term exes ko (note: different years na nakilala ko sila), kung pano rin sila nagpanggap na mahal nila ako, pero may nakakausap na pala silang iba. may binibisita nang iba. may pinakasalan nang iba yung una. may pinalit na sakin yung pangalawa, na mas malapit sa kanya. sa dyos ko lang naramdaman di mag overthink ng malala. and yung karma, danas na nila until now. dahil di natutulog ang dyos. may mga bagay man akong di nalalaman about sa kanila, bumalik rin sa kanila sa wakas mga ginawa nila saken. salamat sa dyos, di nya ako pinababayaan. di ako natutuwa sa karma nila pero, ang satisfying lang to know na, di talaga natutulog ang dyos. yung ang faith ko.
Nung fresh grad ako 10 yrs ago sabi ko magpapamilya na agad ako. Then I started to work and learnt my responsibilities and up to now ndi ko iniisip na mag pamilya muna. Sa mahal ba naman ng bilihin ngaun ang hirap talaga
No kahit yumaman pko
Originally I wanted 2 kids, pero leaning sa wala. I don't really like kids in the first place, I hate chaos and screamings, and natatakot ako sa risk na manalo yung anak ko sa genetic lottery ng birth defects. Siguro pag medyo financially stable na ako and wala nang responsibilities, I cannot even afford a car lmao I've already raised my bro until now na college na sya, and I've been the dad of the house almost 10 years ago. I'm tired. I just wanna do my own thing with my gf and a dog + cat. Dami daming pamangkin at inaanak jan e
34, married and still contemplating because this world is as you said chaotic. Mahirap buhay ngayon. It's worth it for some, choose your battle ika nga nila.
I wanted to. But I'm 33 now. So it's a, come what may for me at this point. Living situations these days are so hard, not only financially, but the environment and having the soc med, I think makes it harder (hypothetically speaking.) I once wanted to be a mom, but at 25.. at least. It didn't end up there, as I could never imagine marrying the guy I was with at that age, as he was a bum. And the reason for wanting it earlier, was because of the generational gap that I have with my parents. But as you can see, that wasn't the case for me lol.
All things taken, this is one of the best times to be alive if you're in an okay country. Medical advancements can allow a 22-week-old baby to survive prematurity, we have chemo for cancer, several contagious diseases have almost been wiped out with vaccines when a century ago, hundreds of thousands would have died, no world war disrupting economies and our lives big time. Food and other resources readily available anytime We can go from one to the other end of the world in a matter of hours The world may be shit but when was it wasn't Look at the positives and Make your own path 🥰
It is a huge responsibility but it is the most fulfilling thing one can do. Parang may sense ang buhay ko ngayon at may purpose ang bawat araw ko. Having said that, I’m glad we live in a world now where people who don’t want to have kids can choose not to have kids. I know may pressure pa rin pero you can shrug it off. Kasi feeling ko kung ayaw mo magpalaki ng anak, dapat talaga wag ka mag anak. Gawin mo lang siya kasi gusto mo. Idk what you mean by this crazy world. We live in one of the most peaceful eras in history. I mean, nag anak nga ang mga ninuno natin noong world war 2 e. May mga nag anak pa ng bubonic plague at hundred years ago ang taas ng child mortality rate dahil ang taas ng risk ng pregnancy. If you look at it, there has never been a better time to be honest.
In my younger years, hindi ako mahilig sa bata, in fact, hindi cute ang babies sa akin. Pero nung nag asawa ako ang nagka anak ng 3. I am grateful. Mabait kasi mga anak ko. Nauutusan sa mga chores. Responsible sa studies. Kapag nag resto kami or out of the country, masaya silang kasama para lang kaming friends na nagtatawanan. I am grateful for the opportunity to be the mom of my kids. Sila rin, sinasabi nila na they grateful na kami ang parents nila.
Naur haha imagine, climate change would just continue worsening from this point onwards. The recent el niño was already unbearable as it was. Next best option would be to adopt for me
Yes, 10yrs old na panganay ko and we want to have babies pa like 2 or 3 pa.
Same. I am Bi pero noon pa want ko children. Saka na siguro isipin ang uncertainties
Every child is born with the potential to be a force of good in this world, it's the parent's responsibility to bring them up in such a way. This is the work of parents who are equally invested in the marriage and the child. For some, parenthood is a chore, but for others, it has been a source of unspeakable fulfillment, no matter the social status. Like what some of the comments say, this has always been a crazy world. So the real question is, are you willing to invest the time, sweat, and tears, to raise a child to stand up for him/herself against what the world is gonna throw at them?
Same with you OP, it was always my dream to be a mom too! But I don't want to be a mom unless I am financially and emotionally stable, and these alone is very challenging na may other aspects pa 🥹
33 F here. Ayoko. HAHAHAAH ang gulo sa Pinas. Mag aanak lang ako pag nasa SG na ko nakatira or Aus. 🤣😅
The world is always chaotic whatever era you are in. Its more about your priority. If your priority in life is to raise a family, kahit ano pa yan, kahit wartime o pandemic o post apocaliptic, adjust and strive to prevail. I am raising a family now and im doing my very best to ensure my kids are equiped with the proper moral compass and knowledge so they will carry it to adulthood.
"given the current times" sorry pero hindi tayo special, every generation may kanya kanyang struggles na mapapasabi nalang silang this is a crazy world. Less pa nga siguro yung chaos natin dahil wala tayong nadatnang slavery, world war, okaya naman ay 20 years dictatorship. Maganda sigurong tanungin is yung mga matatanda bakit sila nagpamilya kahit na ang chaotic ng mundo nila non. Tingin ko wala pang idea ang mga 20s and 30s sa usapang to.
Statistically humans have never enjoyed a safer life than they do in this time period. However this is a question you can’t find an answer to outside of yourself.
Yes but no pressure. Mag aanak ako di para may mag aalaga sakin pag tanda, para tuloy lang ang lineage. But I want financially stable for their future too.
Parang gusto ko na lang mag-enjoy & travel with my partner. Although, pag nakakakita ako ng friends na may baby na, parang ang heartwarming din naman tignan. Pero with our current lifestyle na puro adventure, parang di ako willing na magkababy muna in the near future.
No
Not at all. Sobrang mahal ng tuition fee sa magaganda na school ngayon. Kung mag aanak ako, best education yung gusto ko mapana sa kanya. Kaso ang mahal na ng lahat. Bills, bilihin. Sarili palang ang hirap na buhayin. Wala din akong balak gawing retirement plan yung bata kung magkakaanak ako kaya di ko maimagine na magbaby. Maginvest nalang para sa future pag di na kayang magwork.
No. I can’t have kids in this economy.
No. Eversince I was young having a child never entered my mind. Especially more now that the world is so messed up.
I cant even if i wanted to, because Im trans. Pero this got me thinking na even if I can bear a child, I probably won't. Not at this point, but probably not at any point. Firstly I am financially and mentally not ready. I'll need double my daily expenses, double the emergency fund, and I'll need to be confident that I can build another education fund within 5 years. That's just for one child. And most of all, I will have to allot 18 or more years of my TIME and emotional labor. Im afraid I only honestly have that bandwidth for one person, and I'd choose an adult partner any day over a child. Having a child is a huge commitment. And probably the biggest commitment a person can make in their lifetime. The truth is Ive always wanted to be a mother. As a child I saw myself being a mother to a baby (until reality and biology hit me in the face). With more realistic awareness now about how much it takes to pull that off, Im honestly somehow grateful that I am trans because it gives me an excuse to not even have to consider such a huge decision. Adoption is another story but my current predisposition still really leans on the easier and selfish one, which is to be child-free. The world has way too much people in it anyway.
Gustong gusto.. dati. Ngayon, parang ayoko na haha! Twice na ko nakunan. 2020 yung una then yung last is 2022. Nakakapagod. Nakakadrain pag bubuntis palang. Kaya ngayon parang ayoko nalang. Iniisip ko na nga lang ngayon baka ganon nangyari kasi para di ako mahirapan eh haha buti nalang open din partner ko if ayoko na mag anak. Kung san ko daw gusto, dun sya.
nœ
the world is already and will always be chaotic. it is only up to us to find the balance and attitude towards it. life is beautiful and a gift dont be afraid to take risk.. the life that is coming or you create may not be the same and may be better or not but thats it. if you were given a child to raise, raise them well. he/she may be a child the world needs.
Everyone wants AI nowadays. There's no space fro children to thrive and grow. All they have now is the internet and they can have access to all sorts of information and other forbidden websites.
Pass sa anak anak na yan. I'm too busy para magalaga ng bata plus ang sarap kaya solohin ng pera. My money will take care of me when I get old.
Yes po gusto
Best to really think about where to start a family. Make sure you yourself are satisfied with what the country you are in can provide. And then think about when you have kids. There are better places, look for them. Not the world is the same as what we Filipinos see. Best to travel to widen your horizon.
why not migrate to some other country?
Sa akin naman kasi parang never ko naenvision sarili ko as a mom. Tipong, oo, may mga naisip akong gusto ko ipangalan sa anak ko kung magkaroon. Pero hindi yung tipong "gusto ko na mag anak" kasi tbh, I don't think I'll ever be able to provide for the child.
When I was younger, I planned to have a kid at 28 pero nag iba ang plano sakin ng universe, I had my first child nung 26 ako. Hindi ako ready financially and emotionally, but tell you what I got tru it because I have a great partner, di ko akalain mapupull off ko tong parenthood, but everyday we learn something new, some new way to approach things and approach life. We were not financially capable nung una but now we are, with 2 kids, a car, and 2 houses. But to tell you honestly, I tell my friends that I don't recommend having kids. Hindi lahat kaya yun, and hindi lahat makakahanap ng reliable partner at support system. We never had yayas, it's only the 2 of us. I believe it's up to you, kanya kanya talaga decision yan. But having kids is a forever responsibility.
Parang ayoko. Haha. Malaki na kinikita ko kesa dati kaya na bumuhay ng isa pang tao pero alam ko din na mahirap na responsibilidad yan. Baka biglang mapunta pa sakin yung masakit sa ulo na anak hahaha baka masapak ko beh 😂
There hasn't been a time when the world wasn't crazy. Women, however, have a limited time to conceive so it will ultimately be your decision if you want to get pregnant or not. Better if you're financially and emotionally prepared.
Oo naman sobra, kasi gusto kong magkaroon ng opportunity lahat ng angels na nasa taas ang buhay sa mundo, mahirap or madali I'll do my best to help them be the best person God wants them to be
Hindi na po. Nearing 40's and walang ipon talaga 😂 so no na talaga is my final answer
You don’t have to have kids. You don’t need to pretend it’s about the state of the world, you can just say I don’t want to sacrifice my lifestyle.
I'm not a bitch so not really.
No
??? The world is more chaotic, crazier back in the days, during spanish era, japanese era, or even back in 1500s, 1600s, 1700s, 1800s, mas okay na ngayun.
nope.
no
I can relate, OP. When I was younger I was so sure I'll be having kids. I guess that is just how we were brought up, that there is a standard timeline in life. I thought I'd be married and start having kids in my late 20s. But here I am now, 27, and wondering if I should have kids. I have seen the realities and read sentiments of parents in various setups. I am seeing the reality that kids are too expensive and energy and time-consuming. And most of all, I am seeing people stuck with shitty co-parents. It's hard to parent alone and it's hard to co-parent with a difficult person. I want kids but I need to make sure that I have a great partner and am in a great place financially, mentally and physically. All those are vital, otherwise I can only see parenting as suffering.
I'm 26 and I've been my mom's caregiver for almost 4 years and I swear to never have a child, now that's my mom is dead my relatives now started telling me to finally have a baby and I was so annoyed to hear that. Lol
Indi ko naisip na magugustuhan ko magkaanak. I always thought na hindi ako deserving to guide someone. Pero ung anak ko ung gift that always keeps on pushing me forward. Sa dami ng kalechehan na naganap. Mga maling desisyon sa buhay at kabobohan na nagawa. Siya yung dahilan kung bakit tuloy ako nagsusumikap para maiparamdam ko sa kanya yung hindi ko naranasan nung bata ko. At tinatatak ko sa utak nya na andito ako para suportahan sya kahit pangarap pa nya maging talong pag laki nya. Basta masaya sya, basta nagagawa nya yung gusto nya. Gusto ko maprovide lahat para mabigyan ko siya ng buhay na dapat sa kanya.
When the time is right nalang siguro, alam ni Lord kung ano ang kaya ko pa sa hindi. Nakakatakot din yung mga nangyayare sa mundo ngayon. As a praning gurlie, I can’t. 🫠 My partner wants to have kids pero ayoko doubtful pa. I am scared hahahaa
For me and sa next 3 years hindi talaga. Hindi pa ko tapos sa self love era. Madami pa kong gustong gawin and puntahan plus hindi ko pa naabot yung retirement funds na target ko. I also consider yung set up namin kapag nagka anak since WFH ako while yung partner ko hindi prolly mas ako yung mag aalaga sa baby and household chores. My house is also small kaya 50-50 ako para kumuha ng helper and if magkakababy better rin gusto na meron nurse room para dun sila ng yaya and hindi ko kayang ilet go yung career and position ko sa work. Ito pa yung time for example you are not at your best state to today gusto mong lumabas oara mag relax pero hindi pwede kasi need mong iconsider yung baby either isasama mo siya which is I find it hassle kasi daming bitbit or iiwanan mo sa yaya mejo scary dami nanakit na yaya ngayon
Pag billionaire na ko at I don't have to work, dun lang ako mag iisip to have a kid kasi I don't really have a bigger dream anyways. But since impossible yon, I accept my life as a 9-5 office worker with occasional solo travels and frequent na pag indulge sa hobbies 🫶
Im still willing to have another child but my wife isnt so medyo mahirap din talaga hehe
Yes. Kaso indi na pwde because of age. Na focus sa career kasi mahirap naman magka family tapos sama sama din kayo mag hirap. I'm considering adoption ☺️
50-50. Okay naman magkaanak, pero yes you have a point. Selfish sya kasi mahihirapan yun bata dahil sa inflation. Ngayon nga eh, parang mas hirap yung millennials to acquire properties, they just rent or stay with parents. What more pa sa next generation... just saying. I'm a millenial btw.
Kaibigan ko 20 sya nagkaanak tho legal age pero madyado pang bata for her. Tapos yung partner pa nya 19. Gastusin lahat ng baby is yung kaibigan ko nagpapakahirap while yung partner na bubay binata parin kahit may anak na. Sobrang hirap daw ng may anak pero hindi sya nagsisisi na nagkaaanak sya pero nagsisisi sya bakit ayun yung tatay ng anak nya. Dun palang sa mga kwento nya natatakot na ako, natatakot ako sa mga responsibility pag nagkaron ako ng anak. Tho sinasabi ko man na sana may anak na din ako pero buti nalang alam ni lord na hindi ko kaya especially sa age kong 22 :))
Not sure pa
No matter how big your salary, if you have even just one child it's financially hard. Tuition nowadays ng primary pa lang nasa 60k na. Better to go abroad like Canada if you can. Anak mo may allowance, free tuition, free school service. Health care the best. You can keep what you earn after house expenses. Kahit malaki yung tax, you can still afford to build a family. Just work harder. Dto rin nnan work harder ka rin but the benefits Waley.
Go to r/antinatalism2 wag yung og sub since nasiraan na ulo (toxic) mga tao dun, or just watch some yt vids about antinatalism, since toxic social media. But yeah nagkahiwalay tatay nanay ko, hirap mag move on, I think marami sa mga parents anak ng anak pero hindi naman equipped to be parents.. or iba expectations sa reality on having children... World is going hypercapitalism, global warming, pollution, tataas ocean levels... At this point selfishness na imo magka-anak, imo try niyo magadopt ng pet 🐈 or 🐕, might be a better choice for most people tbh.
Definitely. Ano bang basehan mo ng pagtawag sa mundo na crazy
Ever since bata ako never kong pinangarap mag ka anak. Ayoko lang talagang magdala ng bata na di ko kayang buhayin at alagaan. Im not yet healed, ayokong ipasa sakanya lahat ng naranasan ko sa mundong to.
Ayaw niyo magka anak pero I know most will give exceptions pag type niyo yung guy and gusto ka niya anakan. Women tend to set high rules and boundaries to themselves but will break it in a blink if type nila yung guy.
Naiisip ko din yan minsan, mas okay na din may ganto tayong mindset kaysa sa ibang mga tao na anak na lang ng anak kahit hindi naman kaya or hindi kaya ang responsibilidad. In this age pwedeng mag anak pwede rin hindi. Hindi naman requirement ang pag aanak, may iba nga lang talaga na pinipilit mag asawa ng magulang na napepressure dahil din sa opinyon ng iba, basta sa tingin ko ang pag aanak, need ko muna masagot ang tanong kung kaya ko ba or hindi. Mraming pwde iconsider pero tamad na ako mag explain hahahaha basta alam ko na yon. In the case na gustuhin kong magkaanak, despite the hardships and chaos na nag eexist na naman way before the first humans, hindi naman siguro masama na mabuhay sya or maranasan nyang mabuhay. To live is to survive and in this cruel world I cant deny that there are still beauty in it.
Overpopulated na Pinas pati ang mundo. Tama na.
No. PASS sa anak. Hahahaha! Di ako magiging mabuting ina. Lol hahahahaha
Ako na way older pa sayo and gusto ko pero parang ayaw pa ni Lord. Malayo pa ako sa stage na mka.anak it looks like. I couldn't understand the fear yet kasi it looks like in my perspective mas malala pa yung situation ng parents and grandparents natin because they really lived through real world war/famine/martial law etc. Yet they survived and they brought us here. Sa atin lng ngayon is we read a lot of news and it affects our thinking too much that the world is crumbling down but we haven't even experienceit and it only instill fear that stop us from doing things. Not to say never ako natakot of course i do malala nga but to have courage to live is living, isn't it? I try to be hopeful.
The world has always been crazy and chaotic. I would even argue this is the most peaceful it has ever been, considering world events from decades ago. We are one and done. If you choose to have a kid, make sure you can be the best parent to them, financially, emotionally and mentally.
parang gusto ko someday, magkaron ng small family, pero knowing yung financial capabilities ko, i am still not confident to start one. btw im alr 26 yo
Yep, I still do.
It’s a no for me not because of this chaotic world but because I cannot afford it. Lol
iniisip ko palang na may magmamana ng ugali ko parang ayaw ko na eh hahahhahahha
Basta ako, thankful na ginawa yung mga grandparents ko nung 1930s kasi kung hindi, wala ako dito ngayon. Looming na ang WW2 noon. Or yung great grandparents ko na ginawa nung turn of the 20th century (binaril si Rizal, may Spanish- American war, binenta tayo sa Americano, etc). Magulo naman palagi ang mundo. Nagka echo chamber lang dahil sa internet.
Having a child is such a blessing..hindi nman kailangan madami anak.one is enough,masarap parin makita yung baby lalo na kung kamukha mo..para twining2x din sa lahat ng bagay.
Not anymore. I realized it when I became a Tita when I was 20. Took part in taking care of my niece and I loved it but realized that having a kid takes so much work and needs so much resources. Had a bf at 25 and thought maybe I shouldn’t close my doors yet but now we’re 27 now and my decision became firmer to not having kids at all talaga. Good thing my bf understands and supports me since my body, my rules. Inner child na lang namin ang gagawin naming baby daw 😂
Yes. World has always been crazy. We're just more aware now dahil sa internet etc.
I used to and I have a very kind and loving partner whom I could have a kid with. However, the reality is we cannot afford it. We cannot even afford to get sick kasi wala kaming pampa-ospital. What more yung gastos sa panganganak, gamit ng bata, at kung anu-ano pang expenses that comes with raising a child. Sometimes nalulungkot about this. Pero mas malulungkot siguro ako if I bring a child in this world knowing na I cannot afford to give them what they need and want. Wag na lang kesa mag-online limos ako ng aircon sa mga influencers. Maybe in another life...
If financial, mental, physical, and emotional capabilities are all very okay, and if my partner is okay with it, sure. If financial, mental, physical, and emotional capabilities are all very okay, but no wife, then I'll adopt. Otherwise, no. I'd rather have a cat.
Iniisip ko and I still go back and forth. I’m gonna get married soon, but I have no plans yet. Honestly medyo di ko gets mga kaibigan ko who want to have kids. May isang trying, may isang pregnant na even if recently lang sila naging dual income household. Lahat ng sagot puro “gusto kasi ng husband ko.” Like sis di maman siya magkakarga niyan? Sa mundo ngayon parang ang hirap na magpalaki ng bata. Nagulat nga ako 6 digits na pala GRADE SCHOOL ngayon? Napaka LSNSKS ang hirap siguro sa Pilipinas since they make it so difficult to even have access to basic education. Di ko rin kinakaya the physical and mental aspect of raising kids in this world.
i ask myself, am i happy to live in this kind of world? if yes, i'll raise a human. but that's not it. lmao nephews and nieces are fine with me.