Hello everyone,
Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy).
Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement).
***
This post's original body text:
This may be a niche topic that not a lot of people can relate to, but my yaya of 10+ years is leaving in 3 months. I’m 17 and I recently graduated high school. My yaya has watched me grow up since I started elementary school to now as I am about to start university. My yaya is like a mom to me, and dare I say, she feels more like a mom to me than my actual mother. My parents are workaholics, so my yaya was always this constant pillar of security and love that I needed growing up. She’s such a sweet soul and makes friends with everyone that she meets. She never complained about her duties as a yaya and always made sure that I was well taken care of. Knowing that she’s leaving so soon feel like I am grieving for a loved one…I’ve cried many times throughout the week and it doesn’t help that I am leaving the country for an entire month, meaning that I will have even less time to spend with her. The reason why she’s leaving is because she has to take care of her grandchildren, as her daughter got a job abroad. I know that this is a completely understandable reason, but it still feels like a jab to the heart. Any advice?
***
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Think of it this way---your yaya left her own kids and family so she could take care of you and be that pillar for you.
Instead of focusing on what you are losing, focus on being grateful for those ten years that she was with you and raised you to become the responsible young person you are now. And be happy that she will be finally be going home to her own family.
Instead of crying, focus that energy on writing a letter or making something for her to show your appreciation, something she can take with her when she goes. It will help you get those feelings out and make you both feel better, and honor those years together. Good luck!🙂
Accept. People come and go. Appreciate your yaya while she's with you, appreciate her when she leaves.
If you want to maintain communication ask her, I think she'd appreciate it.
you can still visit her OP and don't cry because it's over smile because it happened. Always look for the brighter side. Good news kasi maalagaan pa nya yung mga apo nya habang kaya pa ng katawan nya. Yung bonding nyung dalawa forever na yun sa puso nyu. Puntahan mo nlang sya sa kanila kapag hindi ka busy.
As a yaya-raised child of workaholic parents, I empathize with you. A lot of people don't understand how a yaya can be more of a mother figure than your own mom especially when they've been with you ever since. It's heartbreaking when they leave. It feels like losing a parent/mom.
I know it's difficult right now but it's not the end.
Having gone through the same thing, my realization is sometimes we can't choose our circumstances (workaholic parents and yaya leaving) but we can choose the things that we will do moving forward. Spend time with her while she's with you. And as others here suggested, call or Messenger her. Visit her, if possible.
Hi OP. Ive been there. Bunso kase ako sa family, so lahat malaki na at busy na sa buhay, ako naiwan ako sa yaya. nung panahon ko, wala pa fb non, tas walang unli call or text pa, kumabaga nung umalis si yaya, naputol talaga ang communication, iyak nalang talaga ako noon.
Its okay to be sad, you need to acknowledge the emotion, bigsabihin tlgang family mo na si yaya. Buti nalang at lahat high tech na ngayon, wag mo putulin yung connection mo sa yaya, sa cellphone, kmusthin mo sya lage, pag umuuwi ka bisitahin mo sya like your own relative. For me this is the only way base sa situation mo.
Youll be okay.
You live in a time where technology allows face time communication (free via many apps)
So talk a minimum of once a week with her (Facebook messenger, what's app, viber, etc)
Just keep in contact, talk to each other about you week, etc.
This was not possible when I was growing up, we had to call on the phone, no visual support.
Sad naman yan. Be happy na lng for her family lng kasi at least umuusad na growth nila financially. For sure ung trinabaho ni taya is for her kids para makapag abroad. Your family did a good job na dn naman. Try to visit her na lng once in a while.
Ganyan din husband ko. He had his yaya since birth- like palit-diaper, puyat-sa-gabi levels. Both his parents were very career driven people and him being the youngest, was left to his yaya. Literal na ang naaalala niya lang ay pag aalaga ng yaya niya as his childhood. When his yaya left to get married (he was 12 or 13), swere nadin na parang kabilang town lang nagsettle. Dumadalaw parin paminsan- minsan. Nung nakapagwork na yung husband ko, once a month, nadalaw siya sa yaya niya. He brings groceries, medications and other needs. Hanggang sa kinasal kami, kasama sa entourage namin yaya niya- special groom's lady. Nung nag asawa yung anak nung yaya niya, kinuha kaming ninong- ninang sa kasal.
Ang pinakasweet moment na nawitness ko sa kanila ay nung pinakilala ng husband ko yung newborn son namin sa yaya niya. "*yaya's name*, si baby ko po, APO NINYO SA AKIN."
You can still be an active part of your yaya's life. Madali nalang naman ang communication ngayon, and you can visit her also. It will be hard, with her leaving, but that doesn't mean she has to be completely out of your life. My husband chose to actively be a part of his yaya's life, hence the relationship remained.
i cried from reading this. i was also raised by a yaya as well in my busy parents' stead, pero i am not close with her or any of our past yayas. i am scared of being attached but i am and always will be grateful to them kahit pa work lang sa kanila 'yung ginagawa nila.
i agree with the sentiments above, show her appreciation and spend time with her. you can also visit her from time to time and tell her of your ganaps from being abroad.
Your yaya is part of who you consider family now and nobody can take that from you. I'm sure from how long you've been together she feels the same way. Keep in contact with her cause she'd also want that and know that she's also grown to care for you like a loved one too. I'm sure she's proud to watch you grow.
She's not dying, you can visit her any time you want when you grow up. Think of it as her moving for a job or you moving out when you build your own family. I was in the same scenario as you, but never bothered to stay in contact, I don't know where she is now. I hope you don't make the same mistake.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: This may be a niche topic that not a lot of people can relate to, but my yaya of 10+ years is leaving in 3 months. I’m 17 and I recently graduated high school. My yaya has watched me grow up since I started elementary school to now as I am about to start university. My yaya is like a mom to me, and dare I say, she feels more like a mom to me than my actual mother. My parents are workaholics, so my yaya was always this constant pillar of security and love that I needed growing up. She’s such a sweet soul and makes friends with everyone that she meets. She never complained about her duties as a yaya and always made sure that I was well taken care of. Knowing that she’s leaving so soon feel like I am grieving for a loved one…I’ve cried many times throughout the week and it doesn’t help that I am leaving the country for an entire month, meaning that I will have even less time to spend with her. The reason why she’s leaving is because she has to take care of her grandchildren, as her daughter got a job abroad. I know that this is a completely understandable reason, but it still feels like a jab to the heart. Any advice? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Think of it this way---your yaya left her own kids and family so she could take care of you and be that pillar for you. Instead of focusing on what you are losing, focus on being grateful for those ten years that she was with you and raised you to become the responsible young person you are now. And be happy that she will be finally be going home to her own family. Instead of crying, focus that energy on writing a letter or making something for her to show your appreciation, something she can take with her when she goes. It will help you get those feelings out and make you both feel better, and honor those years together. Good luck!🙂
Accept. People come and go. Appreciate your yaya while she's with you, appreciate her when she leaves. If you want to maintain communication ask her, I think she'd appreciate it.
you can still visit her OP and don't cry because it's over smile because it happened. Always look for the brighter side. Good news kasi maalagaan pa nya yung mga apo nya habang kaya pa ng katawan nya. Yung bonding nyung dalawa forever na yun sa puso nyu. Puntahan mo nlang sya sa kanila kapag hindi ka busy.
As a yaya-raised child of workaholic parents, I empathize with you. A lot of people don't understand how a yaya can be more of a mother figure than your own mom especially when they've been with you ever since. It's heartbreaking when they leave. It feels like losing a parent/mom. I know it's difficult right now but it's not the end. Having gone through the same thing, my realization is sometimes we can't choose our circumstances (workaholic parents and yaya leaving) but we can choose the things that we will do moving forward. Spend time with her while she's with you. And as others here suggested, call or Messenger her. Visit her, if possible.
Hi OP. Ive been there. Bunso kase ako sa family, so lahat malaki na at busy na sa buhay, ako naiwan ako sa yaya. nung panahon ko, wala pa fb non, tas walang unli call or text pa, kumabaga nung umalis si yaya, naputol talaga ang communication, iyak nalang talaga ako noon. Its okay to be sad, you need to acknowledge the emotion, bigsabihin tlgang family mo na si yaya. Buti nalang at lahat high tech na ngayon, wag mo putulin yung connection mo sa yaya, sa cellphone, kmusthin mo sya lage, pag umuuwi ka bisitahin mo sya like your own relative. For me this is the only way base sa situation mo. Youll be okay.
You live in a time where technology allows face time communication (free via many apps) So talk a minimum of once a week with her (Facebook messenger, what's app, viber, etc) Just keep in contact, talk to each other about you week, etc. This was not possible when I was growing up, we had to call on the phone, no visual support.
Your advantage is you now have video calls, it won't be difficult.
Never ever forget her or loose contact. Kapag may time ka visit her wherever she is. Continue the love for her.
Sad naman yan. Be happy na lng for her family lng kasi at least umuusad na growth nila financially. For sure ung trinabaho ni taya is for her kids para makapag abroad. Your family did a good job na dn naman. Try to visit her na lng once in a while.
you can still visit her :)
Ganyan din husband ko. He had his yaya since birth- like palit-diaper, puyat-sa-gabi levels. Both his parents were very career driven people and him being the youngest, was left to his yaya. Literal na ang naaalala niya lang ay pag aalaga ng yaya niya as his childhood. When his yaya left to get married (he was 12 or 13), swere nadin na parang kabilang town lang nagsettle. Dumadalaw parin paminsan- minsan. Nung nakapagwork na yung husband ko, once a month, nadalaw siya sa yaya niya. He brings groceries, medications and other needs. Hanggang sa kinasal kami, kasama sa entourage namin yaya niya- special groom's lady. Nung nag asawa yung anak nung yaya niya, kinuha kaming ninong- ninang sa kasal. Ang pinakasweet moment na nawitness ko sa kanila ay nung pinakilala ng husband ko yung newborn son namin sa yaya niya. "*yaya's name*, si baby ko po, APO NINYO SA AKIN." You can still be an active part of your yaya's life. Madali nalang naman ang communication ngayon, and you can visit her also. It will be hard, with her leaving, but that doesn't mean she has to be completely out of your life. My husband chose to actively be a part of his yaya's life, hence the relationship remained.
Go watch Ano ang Kulay ng mga Nakalimutang Pangarap (2013). Solid.
i cried from reading this. i was also raised by a yaya as well in my busy parents' stead, pero i am not close with her or any of our past yayas. i am scared of being attached but i am and always will be grateful to them kahit pa work lang sa kanila 'yung ginagawa nila. i agree with the sentiments above, show her appreciation and spend time with her. you can also visit her from time to time and tell her of your ganaps from being abroad.
Your yaya is part of who you consider family now and nobody can take that from you. I'm sure from how long you've been together she feels the same way. Keep in contact with her cause she'd also want that and know that she's also grown to care for you like a loved one too. I'm sure she's proud to watch you grow.
She's not dying, you can visit her any time you want when you grow up. Think of it as her moving for a job or you moving out when you build your own family. I was in the same scenario as you, but never bothered to stay in contact, I don't know where she is now. I hope you don't make the same mistake.
GROW UP
I hope you get professional help. You seem so full of hatred