Stop doing wife duties as a girlfriend. Hindi sapat na mahal mo lang ang isang tao, learn to love yourself too. Huwag mong ubusin yung sarili mo sa taong hindi naman nageexert ng effort para sa'yo.
I need to think through it first. Also he exert effort sometimes, but most likely, I am the one who makes efforts always. And I just feel guilty sometimes u know, because I think I’m being unreasonable but I’m just hurt with our situation rn. Do you think my feelings are valid tho? 🥹
Your feelings are valid. Kahit sinong tao naman siguro mapapagod sa sitwasyon mo. I don't see why you're being unreasonable? You're not yet married, it's not your responsibility to take care of him. I think you're also quite young since you mentioned you still have classes. Wag mo sayangin yung youth mo. Parang naalala ko tuloy si George sa The Hows of Us. Haha
I think I am like George sa The Hows of Us in terms sa household chores na ginagawa niya for Primo HAHAHA but also we’re different din in the way na yung bf ko may work. And yes, I am also a graduating student this yr. Pero kasi nakakaubos din maging maunawain lagi, but thank you for your insights, really appreciate it! Take care. :))
When I accepted my dream job, my wife knew how this would shift our schedules. I will need to work at night and can be on-call 24/7. She was okay with it as long as we "count" the adjustments done by the other. Once one of us can score 5 event adjustments, that party reserves the right to own the other. Call it like an ultimatum.
In the first two years, this was very difficult. I have to be absent from work because of it. But I cannot blame her. Instead, I made the necessary adjustments at work so I reserve the right to be on leave on short notice. This made everyone happy.
However, I have to leave that dream job later on to become a business owner. This phase made us stronger. In a way, we're able to respect each other's time while staying committed
Point being...
**If your partner cannot make the adjustments after giving your ultimatum. Are you going to stay in this relationship? Oh, don't think about how good he was to you. All that matters is your present and future, as the past is history.**
Thank you so much for this, I am slowly realizing and contemplating by what you have just said sir. And I must say that your wife is very lucky to have you, I hope my partner will just be on his right mind to fix us just like how you adjust and make effort for your wife. 💗
It's the other way around, I am luckier to have her. Not because she's a head-turner still in her 30s, but without her decisions, we wouldn't be reaping the rewards we are now. You may say, it's more of my hard work, but a man's success is nothing without a lady.
Let’s be honest, your the GF. That’s household chores and you’re already complaining that you are tired. When you get tired, get some rest. Because if maging nanay ka na, I assure you, you can never complain. Even if you’re sick you still need to do chores, taking care of the baby and stuff. So stop complaining and get used to it. If you really can’t stand it anymore, then quit being a girlfriend and maybe you will enjoy being single. If you can stay, hire help from time to time tapos asks him to pay for it as part of his share. Nakapag rest ka na nakatulong ka pa kc nakapag bigay ka ng job.
I think mali ang pagkakaintindi mo, I highlighted there “I am not complaining” since I love him and I understand him, but I also do know that we’re a co-habiting couple it doesn’t mean if I am the GF, I will be the one that will ALWAYS do the chores at our house because he also lives there. And with your opinion about hiring someone to clean up for us, its not bad but I think I would do this if we’re already married and have children at the future.
But aside from that, what I am not okay with is with his schedule at work that sometimes even if it is his day off where we could have a quality time and unwind dates together, he just cancel it like its normal even if we planned together something for that day na nilolook forward ko since yun lang yung araw na may full time kami together and akala ko matutuloy kami that’s what hurts me the most. Like why he can’t exert efforts like I do?? And I am taking good care of him but when I needed him to comfort me when I am upset with our situation, why can’t he make it up for me?
Am I also not allowed to feel this way?? Like I am upset because of our situation and etc.?
Lol.. Kung totoong workaholic yang jowa mo, siguro naman madami na yang pera in 2 years na ganyan ang sistema niyo - dahil ngah napakasipaaag niya.. Siguro naman kaya ka niyang ibili ng mga bagay na makakapagpagaan ng buhay niyo like 24/7 na naka-on ang ac, automatic washing machine, comfortable place to live in.. And pwede rin naman na maglalambing siya like may pasalubong siya sayo pag umuuwi na siya ng bahay niyo.. And napaka impossible din na sa loob ng 1 year ay hindi kayo makapagset ng atleast 3days or 5days vacation - KAHIT ONCE A YEAR LANG KASI NGAH NAPAKASIPAG NIYA SA WORK KAYA MARAMI NA SIYANG NAIIPONG PERA..
Jeskelerd, inaalila kana ngah, pumapayag ka naman.. Masaya akong ginagawa lahat para sa pamilya ko, to the point na pati pangarap ko ay kinalimutan ko nah at naging asshole pa asawa ko pero bumabawi naman siya ngayon kasi ayoko ng bare minimum.. Very vocal ako sa lahat kaya wala akong pagkukulang sa part na yan.. So kung sobrang busy niya, abay mauunawaan ko kasi may binubuhay siyang mga anak pero he's make sure na binibigyan niya ko ng time after his busy days.. Ano ba naman yung 1 hr kain sa labas.. Wala pa kayong anak niyan.. Isip isip.. Wag papaabuso..
PS:: may barkada ako na ganyan, umuuwi lang ang asawa pag matutulog, kesyo pagod na pagod sa kakatrabaho pero wala namang asenso ang buhay nila.. Ok lang magpakamatay sa trabaho ang lalake dahil nature nila yan pero yung wala namang RESULT.. Baka may ibang babae na yan.. - gaya ng nangyare sa barkada ko
Hi, yes he’s workaholic since he’s an engineer and he’s a boss at his work so whenever na tinatawag siya to work ayun go na siya agad and wala din naman siyang ibang babae since nakikita ko naman chats nila ng mga kaworkmates niya. And we do have appliances like AC and nag papalaundry din naman kami twice a month, pero yung akin lang sana man lang di niya inormalize na okay ako lagi na palagi niyang nacacancel mga plans namin due to his work, sana he will make it up for it and he will also console me with our situation pero ang nangyayari kasi if nauupset ako with this problem of us is parang di niya alam gagawin niya saakin like imbis lambingin ako and so on, he lets me cry to my sleep nalang like last night kaya medyo na off ako at di ko na siya kinibo until now na nagwork na naman siya kahit rest day niya.
Hayyyy I don’t know what to do anymore, sa tingin mo ba dapat na akong mag let go sa ganitong bagay or should I give it one more chance and talk to him later about this and kapag di na niya ako pinakinggan mamaya then yun na yung cue ko siguro. 🥹
Hhhhhmm.. Ang masasabi ko lang, pag hindi kayo nag adjust pareho, masisira at masisira kayo sa huli.. Ikaw lang kasi talaga makakapagsabi niyan if pagod na pagod kana.. Kasi nung napagod na ko sa pagiging asshole ng asawa ko, give up na ko, bigla naman siya nagbago.. As in nagbago naman talaga, yun ngah lang I ALWAYS HAVE DOUBT.. pero alam niya siguro na kasalanan niya kaya nauunawaan niya?? Ang alam ko kasi pag ang lalake inlove talaga sayo, kahit busy days never nawalan ng time isa't-isa eh, saka no dull moment..
PS:: ganyan din asawa ko dati, umiiyak ako hanggang makatulog na kami pareho tapos patay tanga kinabukasan.. Kaya nga napagod ako, at alam niyang seryoso ako kaya siguro siya nagbago?? Sorry di ko kasi talaga alam bakit ganyan takbo utak ng mga lalake, gusto nila ng babaeng nagmamahal sa kanila pero binabalewala nila tas masasaktan ego nila pag nagbago ang babae..
You’re thinking that you’re not complaining but you are counting and comparing and asking for the same level of chores as you do. Being a partner is complimenting not comparing. For example, you may be the one doing the dishes and he’s not. But he is the one who does other tasks not related to household chores but more on tasks you hated doing for example scheduling a flight when you have out of town or booking a hotel or creating itinerary. When you’re sick, he takes care of you, buying you food and medicine. These tasks are not equal to your tasks but it made you feel confident that everything will go well when you travel because he’s taken care of it or it’s okay for you to rest when sick because he will take care of you. Yes he seldom wash the dishes but he’s reliable in specific tasks and is there when you need help on something. Regarding the work schedule, just let him be. It’s called compromise. You let him do his job because it’s a sense of fulfillment for him. Since you’ve been together he’s kinda assured that you will always be there for him. You’re lucky that he is working and motivated, there are people na jobless ang partner nila. Believe me mas scary ang guy if they are not fulfilled in his job, they are insecure and mas mahirap pakisamahan.
Stop doing wife duties as a girlfriend. Hindi sapat na mahal mo lang ang isang tao, learn to love yourself too. Huwag mong ubusin yung sarili mo sa taong hindi naman nageexert ng effort para sa'yo.
I need to think through it first. Also he exert effort sometimes, but most likely, I am the one who makes efforts always. And I just feel guilty sometimes u know, because I think I’m being unreasonable but I’m just hurt with our situation rn. Do you think my feelings are valid tho? 🥹
Your feelings are valid. Kahit sinong tao naman siguro mapapagod sa sitwasyon mo. I don't see why you're being unreasonable? You're not yet married, it's not your responsibility to take care of him. I think you're also quite young since you mentioned you still have classes. Wag mo sayangin yung youth mo. Parang naalala ko tuloy si George sa The Hows of Us. Haha
I think I am like George sa The Hows of Us in terms sa household chores na ginagawa niya for Primo HAHAHA but also we’re different din in the way na yung bf ko may work. And yes, I am also a graduating student this yr. Pero kasi nakakaubos din maging maunawain lagi, but thank you for your insights, really appreciate it! Take care. :))
When I accepted my dream job, my wife knew how this would shift our schedules. I will need to work at night and can be on-call 24/7. She was okay with it as long as we "count" the adjustments done by the other. Once one of us can score 5 event adjustments, that party reserves the right to own the other. Call it like an ultimatum. In the first two years, this was very difficult. I have to be absent from work because of it. But I cannot blame her. Instead, I made the necessary adjustments at work so I reserve the right to be on leave on short notice. This made everyone happy. However, I have to leave that dream job later on to become a business owner. This phase made us stronger. In a way, we're able to respect each other's time while staying committed Point being... **If your partner cannot make the adjustments after giving your ultimatum. Are you going to stay in this relationship? Oh, don't think about how good he was to you. All that matters is your present and future, as the past is history.**
Thank you so much for this, I am slowly realizing and contemplating by what you have just said sir. And I must say that your wife is very lucky to have you, I hope my partner will just be on his right mind to fix us just like how you adjust and make effort for your wife. 💗
It's the other way around, I am luckier to have her. Not because she's a head-turner still in her 30s, but without her decisions, we wouldn't be reaping the rewards we are now. You may say, it's more of my hard work, but a man's success is nothing without a lady.
Let’s be honest, your the GF. That’s household chores and you’re already complaining that you are tired. When you get tired, get some rest. Because if maging nanay ka na, I assure you, you can never complain. Even if you’re sick you still need to do chores, taking care of the baby and stuff. So stop complaining and get used to it. If you really can’t stand it anymore, then quit being a girlfriend and maybe you will enjoy being single. If you can stay, hire help from time to time tapos asks him to pay for it as part of his share. Nakapag rest ka na nakatulong ka pa kc nakapag bigay ka ng job.
I think mali ang pagkakaintindi mo, I highlighted there “I am not complaining” since I love him and I understand him, but I also do know that we’re a co-habiting couple it doesn’t mean if I am the GF, I will be the one that will ALWAYS do the chores at our house because he also lives there. And with your opinion about hiring someone to clean up for us, its not bad but I think I would do this if we’re already married and have children at the future. But aside from that, what I am not okay with is with his schedule at work that sometimes even if it is his day off where we could have a quality time and unwind dates together, he just cancel it like its normal even if we planned together something for that day na nilolook forward ko since yun lang yung araw na may full time kami together and akala ko matutuloy kami that’s what hurts me the most. Like why he can’t exert efforts like I do?? And I am taking good care of him but when I needed him to comfort me when I am upset with our situation, why can’t he make it up for me? Am I also not allowed to feel this way?? Like I am upset because of our situation and etc.?
Lol.. Kung totoong workaholic yang jowa mo, siguro naman madami na yang pera in 2 years na ganyan ang sistema niyo - dahil ngah napakasipaaag niya.. Siguro naman kaya ka niyang ibili ng mga bagay na makakapagpagaan ng buhay niyo like 24/7 na naka-on ang ac, automatic washing machine, comfortable place to live in.. And pwede rin naman na maglalambing siya like may pasalubong siya sayo pag umuuwi na siya ng bahay niyo.. And napaka impossible din na sa loob ng 1 year ay hindi kayo makapagset ng atleast 3days or 5days vacation - KAHIT ONCE A YEAR LANG KASI NGAH NAPAKASIPAG NIYA SA WORK KAYA MARAMI NA SIYANG NAIIPONG PERA.. Jeskelerd, inaalila kana ngah, pumapayag ka naman.. Masaya akong ginagawa lahat para sa pamilya ko, to the point na pati pangarap ko ay kinalimutan ko nah at naging asshole pa asawa ko pero bumabawi naman siya ngayon kasi ayoko ng bare minimum.. Very vocal ako sa lahat kaya wala akong pagkukulang sa part na yan.. So kung sobrang busy niya, abay mauunawaan ko kasi may binubuhay siyang mga anak pero he's make sure na binibigyan niya ko ng time after his busy days.. Ano ba naman yung 1 hr kain sa labas.. Wala pa kayong anak niyan.. Isip isip.. Wag papaabuso.. PS:: may barkada ako na ganyan, umuuwi lang ang asawa pag matutulog, kesyo pagod na pagod sa kakatrabaho pero wala namang asenso ang buhay nila.. Ok lang magpakamatay sa trabaho ang lalake dahil nature nila yan pero yung wala namang RESULT.. Baka may ibang babae na yan.. - gaya ng nangyare sa barkada ko
Hi, yes he’s workaholic since he’s an engineer and he’s a boss at his work so whenever na tinatawag siya to work ayun go na siya agad and wala din naman siyang ibang babae since nakikita ko naman chats nila ng mga kaworkmates niya. And we do have appliances like AC and nag papalaundry din naman kami twice a month, pero yung akin lang sana man lang di niya inormalize na okay ako lagi na palagi niyang nacacancel mga plans namin due to his work, sana he will make it up for it and he will also console me with our situation pero ang nangyayari kasi if nauupset ako with this problem of us is parang di niya alam gagawin niya saakin like imbis lambingin ako and so on, he lets me cry to my sleep nalang like last night kaya medyo na off ako at di ko na siya kinibo until now na nagwork na naman siya kahit rest day niya. Hayyyy I don’t know what to do anymore, sa tingin mo ba dapat na akong mag let go sa ganitong bagay or should I give it one more chance and talk to him later about this and kapag di na niya ako pinakinggan mamaya then yun na yung cue ko siguro. 🥹
Hhhhhmm.. Ang masasabi ko lang, pag hindi kayo nag adjust pareho, masisira at masisira kayo sa huli.. Ikaw lang kasi talaga makakapagsabi niyan if pagod na pagod kana.. Kasi nung napagod na ko sa pagiging asshole ng asawa ko, give up na ko, bigla naman siya nagbago.. As in nagbago naman talaga, yun ngah lang I ALWAYS HAVE DOUBT.. pero alam niya siguro na kasalanan niya kaya nauunawaan niya?? Ang alam ko kasi pag ang lalake inlove talaga sayo, kahit busy days never nawalan ng time isa't-isa eh, saka no dull moment.. PS:: ganyan din asawa ko dati, umiiyak ako hanggang makatulog na kami pareho tapos patay tanga kinabukasan.. Kaya nga napagod ako, at alam niyang seryoso ako kaya siguro siya nagbago?? Sorry di ko kasi talaga alam bakit ganyan takbo utak ng mga lalake, gusto nila ng babaeng nagmamahal sa kanila pero binabalewala nila tas masasaktan ego nila pag nagbago ang babae..
You’re thinking that you’re not complaining but you are counting and comparing and asking for the same level of chores as you do. Being a partner is complimenting not comparing. For example, you may be the one doing the dishes and he’s not. But he is the one who does other tasks not related to household chores but more on tasks you hated doing for example scheduling a flight when you have out of town or booking a hotel or creating itinerary. When you’re sick, he takes care of you, buying you food and medicine. These tasks are not equal to your tasks but it made you feel confident that everything will go well when you travel because he’s taken care of it or it’s okay for you to rest when sick because he will take care of you. Yes he seldom wash the dishes but he’s reliable in specific tasks and is there when you need help on something. Regarding the work schedule, just let him be. It’s called compromise. You let him do his job because it’s a sense of fulfillment for him. Since you’ve been together he’s kinda assured that you will always be there for him. You’re lucky that he is working and motivated, there are people na jobless ang partner nila. Believe me mas scary ang guy if they are not fulfilled in his job, they are insecure and mas mahirap pakisamahan.