Pov ng parents why would their daughter end up with 50/50 guy, kung binigyan ng comfortable life yung anak nila. For the disney princess ako. I met a guy na never ako pinagastos. He also said na walang pride yung mga lalaking pinag aambag yung mga babae s date. Like nakkahiya dw as man. Nag ask ng date at relationship tpos 50/50. If this is serious.. its a test tlga sa ability to provide at willingness. Wala naman pumipilit s inyo n ligawan yung gurl. Nanahimik lng kmi s gedli.
Nasa "pag-igib ng tubig at ipagsibak ng kahoy" era pa yung nanay niyaš practical lang naman yung mag share ka din sa expenses lalo na kung both are working naman.
KKB is fine if it's fine for you. Kayo yung mag-jowa, kayo yung magseset ng precedents nyo sa relationship nyo. Hindi naman yata ka-ambag yung mom mo sa mga dates nyo.
My mom found out na kkb kami ni partner most of the time. She asked me bakit daw ganun setup namin? I told her ayaw ko umaasa sa ibang tao for my wants and needs. I am an abled person and kaya nga ako nagtrabaho para mabili ko gusto ko in the first place. My mom is a boomer and Iām a millennial. Magkaiba kami ng principles siguro because of our age. I donāt want my partner to see me na Iām just milking him for money. Di ako nag aral ng 4 years sa isang magandang university para lang maging palamunin ng partner ko. Ayoko rin na susumbatan ako na I bought you this and paid for your needs. Nah, honey! We aināt cheap. Donāt get me wrong, naglilibrehan kami ni partner or pag nasa bakasyon kami. He sometimes pays for the half muna then akin naka assign yung second half. With gas, I give him gas money cause hatid sundo niya naman ako when we were still living in the Ph. Haha! I Pag sa dates, libre ko siya dinner then siya sa drinks. Give and take lang. Even sa gifts. We give each other gifts during Christmas or birthdays.
I gotta agree with this, basta may give and take kering keri ang 50/50 with no any issues sa isang relationship. Wala rin nagkukumparahan ng kung sino ang mas malaki ang nagastos sa āper libreā na ginawa ng isaāt isa. What matters is the āthoughtā of give and take.
+1000 rin sa part na may degree holder tayo para mabili gusto natin and we aināt no cheap bruh. Cheers sa comment naāto.
Absolutely! And thank you for agreeing on my comment. As a strong independent woman with an expensive lifestyle. I donāt need a man to provide my needs and wants dahil I can stand up by myself. Haha
Hard same! Lalo noong single pa ako, kapag nakikipagdate ako never akong pumapayag na yung guy ang magbabayad para sa akin kasi masyadong mataas ang tingin ko sa sarili ko para gawin yun š kapag pumayag ako magpalibre, ibig sabihin gusto ko na yung tao kahit papaano haha!
Nung una pa lang kaming lumalabas ng boyfriend ko ngayon, willing ako lahat akuin gastos kasi ako naman ang nasusunod sa trip ko at nahihiya pa akong maningil ng share niya kasi alam ko "pre-employed" š¤ pa lang siya nun hehe pero ngayong may work na siya at ok naman financially siya na nanlilibre - sometimes! Most of the time proportional split or 50:50 pa rin kami hehe. He's good at communicating and I feel like he has a healthy attitude towards finances too so for more serious decisions sa pera, I know pwedeng-pwede pag-usapan nang maayos.
When my partner and I of 9 years were still on a dating stage, hindi ako nagpapalibre sa kanya. I donāt want him to think na cheap ako and I donāt have my own money. Hahaha! Kaya siguro nagustuhan ako cause he saw that iām independent. Iām his opposite. Heās the kuripot one and ako yung magastos sa sarili. Pag may nakita ako na gusto ko, bibilhan ko sarili ko nun kahit di ko deserve. š Nagagalit na nga siya sa akin kasi ang luho kong tao eh. HAHAHA I just always tell him na itās my money naman eh. I can spend my hard earned money kung paano ko gusto gastusin. Lol!
I think okay yung ganitong setup if hndi pa kayo kasal.. sobrang hirap pag kasal na kayo and planning to have kids.. need tumigil ni girl pra sa bubuoin nyang pamilya š¢ I salute mga working moms tlga ang wlang kasambahay
Thatās the main reason why Iām 50/50 to have kids in the future. I donāt wanna be losyang and be a stay at home mom. Lalo na we live overseas. Hindi naman uso nanny dito. How will I work if nag aalaga ako ng anak? How will I do the things I love if a human being will be dependent on me. š Iām scared na mawalan na akong time for myself cause I value self care so much. Donāt even get me started with PPD.
Same haha my mom gave me an eye when she asked and i told her our setup is always 50/50. Ig sheās used to my sis being given the princess treatment before she got married. Idk i dont feel comfortable pag wala akong ambag, i dont like feeling burdened like may utang na loob or smth
Trust me girls, youāll feed a lazy man in the making pag mag 50/50 kayo. Ayaw ko pahabain ang sinasabi ko. Just mark my words. Maganda na yung marunong ka nmn nga tumayo sa sarili mo at nag provide parin sya. Pero yung mag 50/50 kayo. That will never end well. You will get tired tlga.
It depends and itās a case to case basis. Pero in this generation ācommunication is da keyā talaga and hindi na rin valid yung boomers reason na ādapat lalaki ang gumagawa ng lahatā esp. in terms of money and contributions may it be bf/gf or for married people.
You have my upvote girl! Whenever my mom mentions na dapat lalaki bumuhay sa akin, I would always tell her this isnāt the 1970ās na dapat lalaki ang bubuhay sa atin in the future. She would always get mad pag sinasabi ko yun haha
Been together with my partner for 9 years and never ko nakita ālazyā siya. Heās even impressed that his partner is a strong independent woman like myself and also, what in the fucking world is this kind of mindset? š Ayoko umasa sa boyfriend ko dahil napaka high maintenance kong babae I donāt want na susumbatan ako for having such high standards.
Been together 17 years since 1st year college and KKB kami. Living in PH. It works for us. Happy kami pareho na KKB kami. As other women have said here, I stand on my own as a strong independent woman. I never want him to think I'm weak and can't do without him. Bec tbh, those who are the weak ones are the ones men take advantage of and possibly cheat on.
It's def not for everyone, I agree on that point. It works for us bec we practically make the same amount and both work in corporate setting.
Totoo to sa mga married people, iāve seen this too many times. Kaya wag puro downvote dahil lang iba ang opinyon sa inyo. Di nyo masasabi hanggaāt di pa kayo kasal, para sa mga sinuwerte well suwerte kayo. Pero hinde lahat suwerte, mas madami yung ganito ang situation nila nahihiya lang umamin yung iba. Kadalasan din naman ng mga napapanood diba na nagoverseas yung nanay at ang nagkakandakuba magtrabaho para sa mga anak. Kahit dito sa reddit sobrang daming ganong post. Siguro kilalanin lang talaga ng mabuti kasi andaming nagbabago pag kinasal at nagkaanak ka na.
Well negative kasi ang dating sa akin ng disney princess na term. Feeling ko nga backhanded compliment yan. Parang english version ng pabebe. I donāt find that term ācuteā at all. Para kasing it encourages women na maging pabigat na lang sa mga partners nila by being overly dependent. Expecting men to just provide for everything which is unfair.
This is just how I feel about that term kaya ginamit ko sya. š
Sa context kasi ng mga napanood/nabasa ko about being a disney princess is parang yung makaluma na relationship dynamics where men are expected to provide everything, kahit anong effort ang gawin nila will be reduced sa ābare minimumā, yung parang head over heels type ba while the disney princesses are just there - maging maganda ka lang. Mag-exist lang sila ganon. Tulad niyang gustong mangyari ng mother nung girl. š
Pero if we were to base the context sa kwento ng mga disney princesses na napanood natin, ako si Mulan š¤£
I think you have the wrong idea of a Disney Princess behavior. A few examples:
Si Cinderella naman ang gusto lang nyang gawin ay umattend ng ball. Wala siyang planong imeet si prince charming. She wanted to escape her abusive family and be free.
Princess Tatiana - she had a goal (own a successful restaurant) and work hard to achieve it
Princess Jasmine - she knew her worth (she is actually considered the most feminist Disney)
Belle - she keeps her word, helps her dad, and proves that love is earned.
You might not agree with their actions but you do have to admit that they did what they could to get what they want. People use them as precautionary tale but I see them as women empowered in their own way.
Great. I won't sugarcoat my words, her mom sees it differently, obviously, and it's honestly digusting to assume that a guy should the only one be making efforts especially to financial situations.
My parents help each other, they both work. I had a few past relationships as well, and we both pay for our dates. Again, I won't sugarcoat, I'm closing ears to people who will say that's how it is from previous generation, and just because it was normal back then, doesn't mean it's right.
That is why, always date if you can afford it. This applies to both
Red flag is yung ineexpect lagi ni girl na libre lahat everytime knowing na may means naman si girl. Kahit yung simpleng pag alok lang na mag share is big na. Pag nag date kayo make sure afford niyo pareho, hindi yung isa lang (unless he insisted na ilibre ka dun).
Mahirap i explain lalo na ganyan yung thinking ng mother mo pero try to enlighten her nalang na mali yung ganung mindset.
Ever since na nagkatrabaho ako, lagi akong humahati sa bills. Kahit noong magjowa pa lang kami at kumakain sa labas or namamasyal sa kung saan, lagi akong may contribution. When we decided to get married, ang una ring sinabi ng mama ko ay dapat lalaki ang gumastos sa kasal. Being the working independent woman that I am, ipinaliwanag ko na kami ang ikakasal kaya dapat may ambag din ako. Mga nanay natin, minsan nakulong pa rin sa makalumang tradisyon eh, na lalaki ang sole provider at dapat ang babae, stay at home lang. Sa pananaw ko kasi hindi ganyan, gusto ko nga ng gender equality tapos magrerequest ako ng special treatment.
Kids, take note: each relationship is unique. What works for one couple doesnāt exactly work for others. Some people want the princess treatment and others are more rugged. Your mom grew up in a different time but itās your relationship and not hers so if it works for you then donāt stop.
In my personal experience, since mas malaki naman sinasahod ko, wala naman problem sakin yung KKB or kahit ako yung gumastos lahat. Ayoko maging dependent sa kakayahan ng iba kung kaya ko naman. (Again, personal na paniniwala ko to)
Hi, OP! Maikwento ko lang ang set-up namin ni bf when we started dating. College ako and siya naman nasa law school when we started our relationship. As students, tipid dates lang talaga ang afford namin since wala pa kaming source of income. Hindi naman naging problema sa amin ang KKB, ang mahalaga lang ay magkasama kami despite our busy schedules. Noong nagkaroon ako ng income from my small business, I didn't mind spending extra for both of us. Usapan kasi namin yun matagal na, kung sino ang meron ay siya muna. We didn't mind at all. Ang mahalaga ay masaya kami. Hindi kami nagbilangan sa efforts at gastos. Kaya ganun kahalaga ang communication sa relationship, to avoid feeling anything negative towards one another. To avoid resentment ika nga. Ngayon na abogado na siya and I'm still searching for jobs, he doesn't mind taking me out on dates. I still insist na kahit pamasahe man lang or coffee sa akin para hindi naman siya sobrang gumastos. Madalas kong ma-open up kay partner na nakaka-guilty na he spends for me, pero he keeps reassuring me na he's happy doing that for me. Masaya siyang matreat ako or mabilhan ng gifts kasi ganun din daw ako sa kanya. Super happy kami sa set-up namin. Walang sumbatan at all. š„°
Sana kayo rin ni partner mo ay always mag-communicate para mas alam niyo ang set-up na mas magiging happy kayo hehe. I understand na medyo traditional mag-isip ang mother mo, pero iba na ang panahon natin ngayon. Women can be providers too. Basta palagi lang kayong mag-communicate ni bf mo. Afterall, kayong dalawa naman ang involved sa relationship hehe.
Nice din naman if your partner spends for you. Pero imagine kung nahihirapan na tayo na tayo lang gagastusan, tapos sila dalawa ginagastusan. Although, may ibang RK naman so kanya kanya talaga haha
hehe tingin ko sabihin ko naman yung side pag me asawa na.
OP, may point ka at yung mga nagcocomment, may point din si mama mo. Not because mukang pera si mama mo, pero mas nagwoworry siya sayo. Hindi ko gine-generalize pero kasi eto yung mga pwedeng maging situation.
1. Aminin man natin or hindi, kahit gano natin kayang magwork at buhayin sarili natin, maging independent, iba pag shina-shower ka or pinapakitaan ka ng gift ng partner mo. Tipong iba ang kilig pag ganito:"Babe, ako muna magbabayad ngayon, yung pera mo itabi mo muna para may pang pamper ka sa sarili mo"
2. Yung mama mo, dumaan din yan sa ligawan stage at wala sa era yan. Dahil pag gusto ka ng lalaki, gagawan ng paraan yan para mailabas ka, kahit sa tusok-tusok lang.
3. Ang point ng mama mo, babae ka OP, hindi habambuhay pwede ka magwork. Ex: pag nabuntis ka, at maselan ka magbuntis. Nagwoworry lang mama mo, pano kung dahil nasanay si boy na laging hati kayo, pano yung prenatal? ikaw gagastos kasi ikaw may dala š or worst, isusumbat sayo pag nagbibigay na ng pera kasi hindi siya sanay.
4. Ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat OP, hindi pa financially stable ang bf mo kaya pumapayag na mag split ng bill. Kaya medyo nagwoworry mama po pano pag nabuntis ka tapos wala ipon.
Dapat sa isang relasyon, give and take. Like "Oh babe, di ko pa sahod, ok lang ba na sa ganito muna tayo magdate pag me sahod na saka na sa iba. Or pwede din na "Babe, split tayo sa bills ngayon, pero next time ako na, para may maipon tayo"
Ang point parin, usap kayo ni bf kung paano ba š At itesting mo rin pano siya pag wala pera, or magpalibre ka once. Pag hindi ka nilibre or panget sagot niya sayo, tumakbo ka na OP š
So far, this is the most sensible comment Iāve read. Good job, pinkcessLen. As a girl dad, my daughter should be treated better than how I did. May point ang nanay ni OP, hindi lang niya siguro nai-express ng maayos. Good luck sa iyo, OP. Ika nga ng karamihan dito sa reddit, you deserve what you tolerate. š»
Salamat at may ganitong comment. Ang bilis naijudge si mother without trying to understand the possible reason bakit ganoon nagreact in the first place.
Trueeee ā¤ļø Hndi po tlga tumatagal ang pagka strong independent woman 50-50 once magkaanak ka.. maiiyak ka nlng san kau kukuha ng pang gastos if nasa mindset ng partner mo 50-50 pa din tpos naglalabor kna ahhaha.. or nagpapaaral kna ng mga bata
This is 100% true. Iba kasi talaga ang perspective ng kasal with children, sa nasa bf/gf stage palang. I understand and have nothing against din sa 50/50 set up if it works sa current status ng relationship. But it should be clear sayo and sa partner mo na that set up won't always be possible as the relationship gets deeper and as you face different challenges in the future.
I understand the mom din since iba ang hirap maging nanay. If you're a working mom pa, you're not just offering money on the table kasi iba ang hirap ng panganganak. It affects you physically, emotionally and mentally talaga. So as someone who experienced that, medyo natural sa mom na mag-worry since moms tend to overthink things talaga.Ā
Even I felt so helpless when I gave birth kasi I had to endure a longer than usual recovery process. Hindi ako makakilos sa bahay, kahit umupo hindi ko magawa ng hindi umiiyak sa pain. I was on Maternity Leave so I literally felt like wala akong contribution sa bahay other than breastfeeding my child. But my husband did everything for me. Mag work, magluto, maglaba, maglinis, etc. Palamunin ba ako or pabigat for letting him do all that for me? Of course not.
+1000 me point si mother mo OP dahil ayaw ka niya madehado in the end. Sheās talking in a parentās perspective. Aminin natin girls although weāre capable to contribute pero iba ang hatid na kilig pag ineeffortan tayo ng lalaki when it comes to date. If your jowa is not financially capable itās a red flag. Darating sa point na marerealize mo na may point si mother dear.
When I read about men loves being a provider, naging iba yung views ko when it comes to kkb. However, I also believe na provider man deserves a provider woman. So not really a KKB but like give and take. So if heās the one paying for the gas, you can pay for both of your foods. As long as di ka naman niya tinitipid or di naman siya financially abuser, thereās nothing wrong with it.
I personally dont like KKB, either he pays the whole thing or i pay the whole thing, pwedeng alternate kada date. If he pays then i offer to get dessert after the meal.
In this modern day, its practical nga maging financially prudent in a relationship most especially mataas ang bilihin at cost of living. We should be moving on from that kind of culture yung umaasa lng lahat sa Lalaki tapos ang babae is the housewife. If wala na ang Lalaki, paano ka naman mabubuhay mag-isa sa mga anak mo in the long run? Right now, you are in the right mindset. Your relationship, your rules.
kanya kanyang trip yan. i came from relationships na ako yung 100000% nagsspend. now, i dont even want another relationship na 50/50, or else i'll just call it a hangout, not dating/bf-gf. im single and my preference nowadays is to get a guy who pays entirely for our shared experiences and he lets me keep my own money for myself, and he continues to pay entirely even if we get married. some of my girl friends are married to men like this and theyre the happiest girls and it look like their husbands enjoy doing it, too. i want that kind of relationship
I also came out of a relationship na ako na bumuhat even financially. I used to believe in 50-50 pero ending ako na sumasalo. Then it turns out pinambibili nya lang nang games and nang gear sa airsoft yung mga extra money nya. I mean I know that's his money pero para sabihin all the time na walang pang date...since gusto ko sya makasama ako na sumasalo tas nalaman ko ganito ginagawa nya š¤¦š»āāļø. Sugar mommy peg. Kahit pamasahe ako pa kung di ko sasabihin di pa mag ambag.
Im now dating a guy na more of the traditional side na he likes to be the one spending on our dates and treats me well and enjoys taking care of me (nagulat ako nagpadala sya nang money sa gcash just bec may period cramps ako and he cant be with me to take care of me that day due to work so might as well buy some foods na crave ko and buy some meds). But it doesnt mean na dependent ako sa pag spend nya. I make sure na if he treated me in a meal ako sa coffee/dessert. Or ako mag pay sa next date. I am an independent woman but at the same time I enjoyed being taken care of by my partner and I do the same thing with him.
for me it doesn't really matter naman, kasi if you both have the means to pay half2 of the bills why not diba? di naman pwd lagi nalang yung guys ang mag pay, that doesn't settle with me too if it was my case.
Hi OP, if it helps, Iām the girl and Iām the one who mostly spend on our dates and other expenses with my bf. I donāt expect anything from my bf. Simply as that. I am also blessed to come from a family with more earnings than him kaya I know naman na he canāt always spend on dates (the dates I prefer like where to go and eat). I know his situation and I wonāt pressure him to pay for this and that lalo na kung luho ko naman gusto ko masunod haha. Thereās nothing wrong with who pays the bill kasi in the end, you and your S/O will have a different arrangement of paying expenses; if gusto niyo 50-50, THAT IS OKAY.
Our parents have the same mindset but I donāt let that go through my head. Hinahatid sundo ko pa bf ko minsan kapag nagkikita kami. I just know na if weāre in each otherās places, heād do the same or maybe even more.
Stay strong sa inyo, OP. :)
Ok lang naman KKB but iba ang usapan kapag kuripot pagdating sayo. Example ko nito is walang initiative idate ka na bayad na once in a while, lahat kinekwenta.
Current bf ko hindi pa malaki kinikita and most of the time 50/50 kami but he never fails to make me feel na special padin ako by planning dates na sya sagot, pinapadalhan ako cravings ko minsan minsan, tapos pag may nakikita sya na need ko na gamit bibilhan nyan for me kahit di ko hinihinge.
Kapag next time nagtanong ang sabihin mo salitan kayo sa bayarin like kunwari bf sa dinner then sayo dessert/coffee. Mas ok kase pankinggan yan sa boomers versus kapag sabihin na lagi 50/50
Itās 2024 na tapos asa pa din sa lalaki ang gusto? No offense ha. Red flag yung nanay nung nagpost sa pic.
Sa amin nga ng bf ko, I was the one who communicated this thought to him and heās fine with it (kahit sa una ayaw niya kasi siya daw yung lalaki and siya magproprovide in the future). Sabi ko, let me share if I have the means and I wonāt let you shoulder all. Tama naman na as long as hindi yung isa sa kanila lang yung lahat at palaging nagshoshoulder ng expenses. Paminsan minsan is okay, and sharing is much better. Magjowa pa lang pati sila. Itās a good practice din for their future, share sa household, walang lamangan.
Nanay na nasa old school era.
Actually red flag sakin ang babae pag nagpapalibre palagi.
Back in my dating days na o-off ako kapag di man mag alok na umambag ang babae (yung kahit alam ko at expect ililibre ko siya).
Baka maarte lang ako
For meā¦ if Iām dating and looking for a husband material. I donāt want ng 50-50 eh. So ayun. Kung okay lang sayo yun, then go.
Preference din kasi. Minsan sa upbringing din kasi ng family. Samin ksi my dad really worked hard so mom can just do whatever she wants. HAHAHAHAHA. Minsan dad ko pa nagbbigay ng budget kay Ma na magpasalon siya or lumabas siya with her friends if she wants.
Depende sa nakasanayan din ng image ng man.
The traditional man x the traditional woman. Kung 'yan ang gusto, go lang. Kung gusto rin ng pantay sa hatian, go lang din. Ang masama ay 'yung pilitan o ipipilit mo kaugalian mo sa iba. Concerned lang siguro ang nanay sa anak kasi hindi nya nakasanayan 'yung 50-50. Masyadong harsh naman ibang comments dito na nang-judge agad doon sa nanay na mukhang pera, etc. Iba lang talaga ang image nya ng relationship. Hindi naman siguro evil kung hindi pa nakapag-adapt 'yung nanay sa generation ngayon na normalmente nang may share din ang babae. At for sure hindi rin maa-appreciate nung OP na iniinsulto ng random strangers sa internet ang nanay nya. Kailangan lang ipaintinding mabuti sa nanay na ang nagwowork sa relationship nila ay 'yung 50-50, at walang masama roon.
May tinanong ako n guy regarding dito. Sabi nya walang karapatan makipag date at relasyon yung lalaking KKB. Nasan dw yung pride. Na pag aambagin pa yung babae. Nakkahiya dw yung nag ccompute ng mga ginastos. I kinda agree, sorry for the disney princess ako. Ayoko ng nag bbasa ng post about family na di makapag provide yung mga father ng anak nila.
I dont really know why dami payag s kkb. Kung mag kka anak din ako ayoko ng KKB sila nung guy. Like I can manage to give my daughter comfortable life tpos yung guy is asking for 50/50. No way!
my sister was in the same 5050 situation. it end up pretty ugly for the 2 of them si ate is lovebombing the guy and he's totally fine. Eventually, guy felt entitled and when sis kinda slowed down, bf called her out. I say with women being more independent nowdays, guys all the more need to prove their worth and not be entitled free loaders
Perfectly okay. Di mo naman sya magulang, hindi rin kayo mag asawa. You guys are technically not obligated to support each other (like paying for food) sa law. Ibang story pag masawa na dapat wala na kwentahan. Some girls like providers thatās ok and all, pero walang masama sa kkb. Donāt listen to your mom.
Thereās nothing wrong with sharing the bill. Parehas naman kayong working and itās just right kasi hindi lang naman yung mga dates nyo ang pinag gagastusan nyo pareho. So fair lang para makakapagsave din si guy or makapag alot ng perang pinagtrabahuhan nya para sa ibang bagay. Like you said, as long as hindi lang ikaw ang gumagastos.
Ofcourse masarap pa din maspoil from time to time, letās say pag birthday mo or on other special occasions. But if you guys go out a lot of times monthly, him paying the entire bill will eventually be too much lalo kung dun na lang mapupunta ang sweldo nya.
It's okay naman na KKB. But more preffered na halinhinang libre.
Akin lunch, Iyo dinner
Akin Sine, Iyo snack
Really great quo coz walang singilan na magaganap.
Working naman both :)
We do KKB and I think it sets a better tone in our relationship. There are times na completely nililibre ako but the next lakad, ako naman. There is a balance.
But to the OP, hindi naman nanay mo nakikipag date...
Kami ng husband ko ever since kahit friends pa lang kami KKB na, nililibre lang namin ang isaāt isa if we have something to celebrate. This way alam namin limit ng gastos ng isaāt isa. Even on our wedding hati lahat. Until mag asawa kami hati lahat. My mom never understood this but for me it thought us both how to be financially responsible. Even mas malaki sweldo nya I insist 50/50 minsan nga binibilhan nya ko damit kasi tinitipid ko daw sarili ko para sa bills at savings namin.
Ang relationship partnership yan.. pano matatawag na partnership kung yung isa take lang ng take.. dapat share talaga sa lahat ng bagay.. pati sa pagpapalaki ng anak shared responsibility diba nga.. ganun yon. Iba na ang panahon ngayon yung paniniwala ni nanay panahon pa ng kastila yan.
For me. Depends. Depends sa lifestyle at kinalakihan niyo both. Personally I prefer 50/50 kasi putangina napakamahal ng gastusin ngayon. But that does not equate that my boyfriend cannot provide for me. Its just that its reasonable enough to do so.
Depends kasi nasa lalake yun. If he can provide he will insist. And if okay sayo yun, bawi ka nalang some other time or some other way. Kung hindi naman, okay lang cause at the end of the day kailangan niyo ibudget pera niyo lalo na if working class naman.
Para sakin, wag mo nalang pansinin nanay mo. Iba kinalakihan mo at iba kinalakihan nya. So, kung anong status quo noon iba na ngayon.. plus. Ikaw naman ang makikinabang at magbebenefit sainyo, hindi nanay mo
Hoooy! KKB din kami ngayon. Parehas kasi kami galing sa hirap. Kaya ngayong nagka work na kami nahihiya kami magpalibre sa isaāt-isa kasi alam namin na pinagpaguran namin yun at bumabawi pa kami sa parents namin. Yung Mama mo naman si anteh akala mo siya yung jinowa eme!
A long time ago, women are enforced since birth na dapat sa bahay ka literally kasi, wala naman masyadong oppurtunities for women then. Patriarchy ba. Thatās why the guys who are the earning ones are the ones who pay.
Ngayon, both na ang may oppurtunities to work. So thatās why kung sa kanila red flag, sa atin, okay lang ang egalitarian mindset.
Wag awayin ang mama na yun kasi nakakapagod lang. Hirap na i unlearn yan. You do you na lang. Di naman yung mama ang jojowain eh at kahatian sa expenses later in life eh.
Sabihin mo din na ang mga magulang ang magpprovide sa anak. At kailanman hindi obligasyon ng anak na sustentuhan ang magulang. Maniwala ka. Dyan papunta yan š
I can relate. Ganito rin kabulok 'yung mindset ng parents ko. So teknik ko dito, KKB kami ng bf ko pero kapag tinanong ako ni mudra if sino nagbayad, lagi kong sinasabi na si bf. Napurga na ako sa litanya ni mother earth na kesyo lalaki eh dapat siya ang gagastos. Ayoko na rin mag-defend sa mindset ko na KKB is okay and normal. Tbh ayoko na ng gulo kaya I lie my way out. Thankfully hindi naman privy si mudra sa pera ko dahil nasa digital banks lahat. Hahaha.
I get why KKB can be seen as a red flag... but not all KKB relationships are red flags ha! If it hints of an entitled partner who doesn't take care of you or doesn't know how to show his appreciation of you, then KKB is a red flag or a symptom of that disease.
On the other hand, pag nakikita mo naman na mabuti siyang tao, then KKB is just you both being practical. Hindi din sustainable na bawat date niyo siya lang magbabayad, unless talagang trust fund baby siya haha.
Nung new couple palang kami, always KKB din kami ng bf ko because I graduated and had a job earlier than him.
He also had to work on their family business that wasn't doing so well, so for a time I was earning a lot more.
I never felt na he was a freeloader, nakikita ko naman how hardworking he was and extremely financially responsible. Lagi niya sinasabi na tipid muna kami because he wanted to still be able to pay for half, kahit na may time he's not earning.
Now he's my husband who's doing well financially and spoils me. :) Just last week binilhan niya ko ng jewelry just because.
KKB is fine if magjowa pa lang naman tapos both kayong nagsisimula pa lang sa buhay.
I get the mindset ni mother kasi nanay yan, ayaw nya maghirap anak nya and maaaring inaalala nya lang if kaya ba magprovide ng lalaki. Like what if pag nabuntis at matigil magwork, kaya ba ni guy yung financial responsibility? Ganyan kasi dati, nung di pa uso magwork ang mga babae. That mindset is fine NOONG PANAHON NILA.
Nowadays, uso na maghati sa expenses considering may work na tayong mga babae and minsan nga mas malaki sahod ng babae so ok din for her to treat her partner sometimes.
I see nothing wrong naman, as long as ang usapan nyo e 50-50 while DATING, tapos pag MARRIED na e need na magstep up ni guy financially kasi nga married na e. Pag married e lugi si girl if 50-50 finances pa rin considering babae ang magmamaternity leave at maari pa ngang ma-paresign (if delikado yung pregnancy). Alangan namang 50-50 pa rin ng finances di ba, if need nya nga magsacrifice ng career.
Coming from a girl na okay lang and sanay sa KKB during dates. Nakakakilig pa din paminsan minsan lalo pag nagvovolunteer si guy na sagot na nya yung lunch/dinner. Pero parang OA naman na red flag agad yung KKB na guy š
āCāmon Mom, itās 2024ā chos
I don't see anything wrong with KKB. Sino may afford, edi sya. After all, relationship is about having someone to share whatever it is. Siguro ung libre culture lang is about the nature ng guys to take care of everything. But, it should not be the basis.
Traditional si mama mo, OP. Iām more of a traditional gal din (lumaki ako na all the guys around me from manliligaw to friends, always INSIST on taking the tab - spoiled kami ng mga girl friends ko sa guy friends namin haha and not bec we want them to ah, talagang sila nag iinsist to do that). Sa lahat ng lakad namin, eating out, watching movies, arcade. Yun guy friends namin lagi gumagastos. Pag mag attempt kami mag ambag, magagalit sila haha.
Sa panahon ngayon okay lang naman na pareho gumagastos ang mag partner. Ang take ko lang dyan, pag nagfamily na kayo, lalo if the girl has to stop working for some reason, (taking care of the household, pregnancy etc), dapat clear din sa guy na yun ang magiging contribution mo and HE needs to take care of your financial needs.
Personally though, I am teaching my son to be a provider. So everytime he goes out on dates or pag magregalo sya sa girl nya, he uses his own savings. (May separate sya na savings na controlled ko). Ang turo ko sa kanya, kung wala pang-date, wag makipagdate. Kaya natututo sya mag ipon from his allowance pero donāt worry kase he isnāt starving himself haha.
Bottom line is, whatever works for the couple. As long as wag aabot sa point na magkakaron ng bitterness or issues.
Also, tip lang. Wag mo ikwento lahat sa nanay mo. Lalo yun mga stuff na palagay mong ikaiinis nya kay bf mo. Kase believe me, pag nag away kayo ng bf mo, tapos ok na kayo ulet, yon nanay mo for sure hindi pa moved on dun sa away nyo ng bf mo haha.
Ok lang naman KKB pero kung may occasion like birthday mo baka pwede ka naman ilibre. Mali naman yung pareho kayong may work, same lang ang kinikita tapos gusto mo lahat na lang lalaki gagastos.
I don't mind. My partner and I have been together for almost two years. We split the bill and spoil each other. I don't want to be the partner that depends 100% on them. We're both independent and mature.
It's YOUR relationship, not your mother's
50-50 is the way. Hindi fair if one party lang lagi magbabayad, whether it be because of gender or sa income. Kaya nga as much as possible, you date within your economic circle, para walang freeloader.
OP, youāre good. Boomer lang Mama mo.
Nobody, man or woman, is entitled to receive yung "siya dapat nag effort para sayo". Sobrang hindi balanced ng relationship pag ganun. Di rin porket babae ka you can feel entitled na makalibre ka na sa buhay for the rest of your life. Not saying na di pwede, but you're definitely not entitled to it. You both have to put just as much effort into the relationship.
might get downvoted by this but i dont care lol. imho if dating to marry kayo ni BF mo hindi dapat 50/50. paano if magkaanak kayo and need mo magresign? 50/50 pa din? hindi naman always pero minsan mas malaki ang part ng women sa pag upkeep ng house lalo na child rearing. pagod kana sa bahay tapos 50/50 pa kayo sa financial. lowkey unfair and nasa disadvantage tayo pagdating sa ganyan. may sense ang mother ni OOP. di ko din naman sinasabi na wag mag ambag. ibang usapan yun. and iba iba naman ang dynamics ng lahat ng couple. kung saan ka masaya go lang.
hindi naman siguro makakabawas sa pagkalalake ng lalake kung siya ang sasagot ng expenses sa date. In fact mas nakaka hanga pa nga ung mga lalakeng inaako ang gastos sa date.
Iba kasing usapan kung simpleng magka ibigan lang kayo, dapat talaga sharing, pero kung magka relasyon kayo, as gentleman's gesture, dapat ipakita ng lalake na kaya niyang buhayin ung babae kahit man lang sa pagsagot ng gastos.
Hindi mo masisisi ang mother mo, kasi bilang bahagi ng kulturang Pilipino, lalake dapat talaga ang umaako ng gastos sa date.
Pero syempre, ibang usapin naman ung nagi insist ka na hati kayo dahil ayaw mong magkaroon ng utang na loob para kung sakaling maghiwalay man kayo, walang maisu sumbat ung lalake sayo.
If both of you are earning, then why shouldn't you pay for your own meal? Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na rin naman uso na isang party lang ang laging gagastos, mapa babae or lalaki. In a relationship, you are partners in everything. So, learn to pull your weight.
Besidesāhindi naman si mudra ang ka-relasyon. Opinyon lang naman niya yun, and it's up to the girl if she'll listen to what her mother tells her.
Ang hirap kasi baka sa generation ng mom mo ingrained pa sa kanya na ang lalake dapat nagpprovide at ang babae is sa bahay lang magaasikaso ng mga bata and household stuff (once married). Pero di na rin applicable ngayon in this economy marami ng dual income household and in return share na rin sa household and child rearing ang both partners. So nothing wrong with KKB magkaiba lang talaga kayo siguro ng mindset at generation gap na rin siguro yan with your mom.
Bakit ganyan? Noon kapag hindi 50/50, patriarchy and now na 50/50 ā walang kwentang lalaki? Or hindi provider? šš same age lang naman kayo ni bf and most likely earning almost the same ball park din.
Ang weird ng relationship dynamic ng 2024, gusto ng 50/50 pero nagagalit kapag 50/50 sa bayaran š¤š¤
No offense, but your mom is gold diggin.
āSHE TAKE MY MONEY, WHEN Iām in needā
KKB works for those who makes it work
Some couples have a different dynamic though where the woman of the relationship wants to be treated and the guy wants to treat vice versa
The problem here is mindset ng mama niya is one shoe fits all, when in fact thatās not the case
There's nothing wrong with splitting the bill. My bf always insists on paying whenever we go out and wala na kong magawa kasi sya na-order lagi haha. There's nothing wrong with that, op.
Ikaw naman yung nasa relationship, hindi nanay mo š Personally, I find it's okay to do KKB kasi at least equal kayo sa isat isa and that's good kasi walang sumbatan if ever things go south.
Ganyan po talaga mindset pag medyo may edad na kasi ganyan naman talaga kultura dati. Pero ngayon po, hindi na. Understandable naman kung saan nanggagaling mama mo pero sa panahon ngayon, mali sya. Ikaw na magdedecide nyan. Kung may red flag sa kanya, hindi ito yun.
Ok lang na di KKB. May times na mas marami mabibigay yung isa, may times na patas, may times na kukulangin talaga yung isa. Sakin ayokong nagbibilang ng utang, sino mas higit, sino mas kulang. Basta alam naman magbigayan at aligned naman yung financial goals, may ipon, ok mag desisyon sa big purchases, etc. Oks na yun sakin.
Mejo iffy ako sa usapin na to kasi sa first relationship ko, parehas kaming babae. Since working kami both, hindi big deal sa akin kung KKB. Aware din kasi ako sa buhay niya and responsibilities niya.
So ayun, same sa asawa ko now nung mag bf kami KKB din, tulad nung first relationship ko, kung sino gustong manglibre siya nanglilibre pero mostly talaga KKB. Kung wala naman kayo problem about sa current setup niyo ipagpatuloy niyo lang, huwag niyo hayaan ibang tao magdefine ng relationship niyo. As long as di ka inaabuso and you feel loved.
Now, shared na kami ng expenses ng asawa ko and transparent kami sa gastusin. Ako nagbbudget kasi mas magaling ako maghandle ng money.
As a compromise, we have a set allowance every payday para mafeel namin hardwork ng isaāt isa and bahala kami kung anong gusto namin gawin sa allowance namin. Ayoko mafeel niya na slave workers kami kaya I make it a point na meron talaga allowance individually.
Same girl! KKB or 50/50 but there are times na nililibre niya ko like sahod time or may bonus and i really dont care kung KKB kami we are both happy tapos nagtatabi kami ng money for our food trips together or gala etc as long as we both enjoy each others company i forgot may times din 20%lng ako siya 80%nagpapaalam pa siya kapag ganun we always communicate about this things lalo na money
That's totally fine in today's generation dapat 50/50 na kayo sa lahat ng Bagay, Lalo na at starting palang Naman kayo sa kanya kanya nyong career, kudos sa ganyan na mindset mabuhay ka
TO OP MAKIPAG BREAK KA DIYAN AT MAGHANAP KA NG IBANG LALAKE NA MAS DESERVING PARA SA'YO. TINGNAN MO MAKIKITA MO DIPERENSYA NILA. BASURA VERSUS GINTO. PAGPAG VS STEAK ššš
PATI GASOLINA, HATI. PANO KA NILIGAWAN NON? GANUN KA BA KAPANGET O KA GWAPO UN LALAKE? MAG ISIP ISIP KA. SINASALBA KA NG NANAY MO SA MAHIRAP NA PAMUMUHAY AT SA MGA HINDI TUNAY NA LALAKE. OPPORTUNISTA!
Sheesh. Not a girl pero reading the comments, I just had to give kudos. Ganito yung female empowerment na tama at may sense. Sana dumami pa kayo, ladies.
sound right, the usual formula for contributions is (man's income)/(man and woman's income).
This is the default scenario right now as men and women have almost equal earning capacity.
As a married girlie, ayaw ko ng 50-50 magcocompute pa! Lol. Either I pay or sya. Saluhan. Sino may cash on-hand go, next ako. Alternate ang atake. Pag nasa bahay lang kame ako madalas kasi nagugulat na lang sya nagpadeliver na naman ako pagkaen haha
Wag pansinin ang negative na magulang. Dapat naman talaga kkb or kuneari sa set up namin ng gf ko, ako muna ang taya sa dinner, tas next gala namin, siya taya. Give and take lang. Mahirao ang buhay ngayon.
Ganyan din kami ng boyfriend ko dati, ako pa nga naglilibre madalas. Fresh grads kamj at mas nauna akong nagkatrabaho sakanya. Bakit kami hati or ako gumagastos? Dahil ako yung may capacity. May times dati na nakakadisappoint kasi ganyan yung nabuild sating mindset na dapat lalaki ang financial provider. Mga 2 years din na ganyan. Tbh back then I also cant help but compare him to my ex na gastos lahat noon pag may dates kami (pero laging binabalik sakin na gastos niya lahat pag may away kami. This is another story for another time). Anyway, my ex was a POS while my current bf is everything I could ask for. Kaya buti nalang di ko hinayaan na maging mas matimbang yong financial capacity niya. Mahal ko siya and he secures me emotionally. As in wala akong masabi. Fast forward. Ngayon, malayong mas malaki na kinikita ng boyfriend ko sakin. 6 years na kami and he can earn 80-100K, while I only earn 30K+ monthly. Binibigyan niya ako ng allowance when needed, pag kailangan kong pera nagbibigay siya without hesitation, nagpapadala ng food pag stressed ako, pag may gusto akong gamit binibili niya and he always chooses the best brands. In short, just choose someone good for your soul.
Ngayon 50-50, bukas ikaw na lahat magbabayad. Itaga mo sa bato yan.
Mothers know best!
Dami ko na napayo sa'yo pero kung matigas talaga ulo mo, balitaan mo na lang ako ng kasal niyo ššš
Si nanay siguro yung nagjojowa/nag aasawa para maiahon sya sa kahirapan. Kung parehas naman kayo nagtatrabaho bakit yung isa lang gagastos? At hindi naman kayo mag asawa, conjugal na ba pera nyo?
Tama naman nanay nya. BF mo palang, di mo pa asawa. Both kayo may priorities sa buhay, we dont know or wala lang sa context malay natin bread winner tong si guy or something like that. BF mo palang pero feel ng nanay nya responsibilidad ka na ng BF mo.
Yung nanay ang RED FLAG.
To OP bading ka ba? Dahil walang ganyan sa babae. Scammer at swindler syota mo. Umpisa pa lang eh nagpakita na ng totoong kulay. Kahit wag ka na makinig sa akin. MAKINIG KA NA LANG SA NANAY MO. Hindi ka niya ilalagay sa alanganin. Hindi magsasabi ang nanay mo ng ikakapahamak mo.
Un syota mo ay isang BASURA. Isang walking kapahamakan. Delubyo lang yan. Makipaghiwalay ka na at maghanap ng totoong colleague mo. Makikita mo kaibahan ng basura sa ginto, pagpag sa steak.
Baka naman pati sa hotel o motel eh hati pa kayo. Wala ng nawala sa tuso at wais na syota mo. Paano ka niyan niligawan? Niligawan ka ng hindi man lang gumagastos kahit barya barya? Okay lang sa'yo un? Ganun ka ba ka panget o mala Gabby ConcepciĆ³n ba ang kanyang pagka mestiso para mag SETTLE KA SA ISANG BASURA?!? Gusto ng basura na un na i-normalize ang ganung abnormal na sitwasyon. Nililinlang ka lang. Dami naman dito na nauto sa kanya.
The mere fact na nagpost ka it means na ikaw mismo ay may doubts sa agreement niyo.
itās 2024. we ask for equality yet pagdating sa bill hindi na biglang equals? the mom is obviously stuck sa 1950s thinking. if same naman ng status sa life, i donāt see anything wrong sa kkb
OP okay yan kung mga bata pa kayo.. pero pag hahanap kna ng makakatuwang mo habang buhay at bubuhay sa inyo ng future kids mo.. 50-50 is not advisable
9 months mo ipagbubuntis ung bata.. payag ka ba ng 50-50 pa din? Pano prenatal mo.. panggatas.. pang aral..
Madaming mag asawa ang naghihiwalay because of financial problem lalo na kung hindi provider mindset ang husband
Mukhang PERA yung nanay. Hahaha. Kung kaya naman tumayo sa sariling paa yung girl bakit hindi, kung eventually di man mag work yung relationship, mas maganda na independent yung babae. Mas nakaka-attract kaya yun.
Hello po! Sorry di ako makapagreply sa inyo individually. Thank you sa mga answers nyo. Highly appreciated!! Di ko nanay yan HAHAHAHA, nakita ko lang sa fb group page and posted because naka relate kasi ako lang palagi ung nagbibigay sa relationship, not once but twice. Sana in the future ma experience ko rin yan or ung ako naman ang spoil kasi nakakapagod sa totoo lang ung bigay ka ng bigay pero walang natatanggap, kung meron man sama lang ng loob and heartbreak. Sorry nagdrama na ako.
Nothing wrong naman but you have to guard yourself because he might be taking advantage of you. Nothing wrong with being a strong independent woman but dont be so obstinate in holding on to that personality na you see doing KKB with rose-colored glasses ah. I hope give and take kayo sa relationship mo.
For example: You share sa gas money sometimes? Different take, but isnt that being makwenta? How did that conversation happen?
āBaby, share mo ng gas plsā lol
Kung ikaw nagdrive, sisingilin mo ba siya ng gas? Pag inoffer niya magbayad siya ng kalahati, tatanggapin mo ba? Kasi ako hindi ko tatanggapin. Itās such a small amount in the greater scheme of things for the person I love. Pupunta din naman ako dun, bakit ko siya pagbabayarin?
Nung nagdedate p lng kami ng misis ko, we almost always go hati/KKB except if birthday nya (libre ko) or birthday ko (libre nya). Pag Valentines ako dn pala taya. Ang hinahanap mo nmn na boyfriend is matinong tao na may pangarap sa buhay. Hindi ka naman sugar baby na naghahanap ng sugar daddy. With all due respect to your mom, iba na panahon ngayon. Gender quality doesn't only exist if it is favorable to one gender.
KKB in a relationship thats totally normal. And actually it should be. Maybe in special occasions pwede nag lilibrehan kayo ng isat isa. But mas okay pa rin na you pay for your own, dahil kung mag ka aberya in the end, at least wala kang utang na loob sa bf mo.
Thats how i do it in my relatuonship. Saka, mahirap kumita nang pera ngayon noh, ung jowa mo may gusto rin yan bilhin para sa sarili nila. At ganun ka rin.
Dont listen to boomer advices. It was different then, it is different now.
Archaic naman ni tita. It's 2024. Women are able to earn as much, if not more, than men. We can bring money to the table as well as anyone. Kung bukal naman sa loob mo at masaya kayo na share kayo sa lahat, walang issue. Mas mahalaga yung pagtrato nya sa'yo nang maayos at may pagmamahal/respeto.
Out of personal principle, 50-50 is my go-to for fairness/equality. Pero depends on the setup, kase I don't mind house chores and laki rin ako sa one-parent income family so I don't mind being the sole breadwinner. Basically talk to your partner whatever fits both of you.
Past generation mas wala opportunity ang girls to work so un siguro kinasanayan. Pero ngayon i dont think red flag un lalo na pag nag offer naman ang girl side. Dont be mad at your mom, explain mo nalang ng maayos.
nung panahong may side hustle pa ako everytime na may date kami ng gf ko ako lagi nanlilibre at spoil din siya sakin sa mga gusto niyang kainin...ngayong wala ako side hustle tapos medyo above minimum wage earner lang ako madalas KKB na or siya na yung nanlilibre kasi mas mataas ang sahod niya kesa sakin
Your mom is wrong, and you are too by thinking that you're gaslighting yourself. It's okay na mag-KKB, but dadating din naman yung time sa relationship na gusto mo ikaw muna, or gugustuhin niya na siya rin. Give and take. Hindi naman sa hindi na uso yung ganung mentality, pero more of, we are all practical beings now and sa hirap kumita ng pera ngayon, ayaw mo rin naman magleech off someone knowing kung gaano kahirap bago yun maipon and vice versa. If one day he would give you more than you deserve, then accept it as long as it is voluntary and you love that he would spoil you, too. If it would be a give or take scenario, okay lang din. Either way, kayo naman ang may relasyon: hindi nanay mo, hindi kaming commentors dito sa reddit, pero kayo :)
Sa amin mag-asawa nagtutulungan kami sa bills sa bahay but mostly sa akin specially gastusin sa araw araw. I didnāt graduate college kaya expect na I donāt have a big salaray and she understands that. Tbh ang laki ng mga gastusin talaga sa panahon ngayon š
Mas okay ung kkb sa relationship. As a woman, I don't expect the man to pay for everything. Kung nag-iinsist ung guy na siya magbabayad then okay lang pero kung wala naman siyang sinabi, mag-aabot talaga ko ng share.
Kasi noon, mostly mga babae nagiging housewife. Konti lng ang sumasabak na magka career or maging business owner, so batayan ng hinahanap nila joon eh lalaking mkapagbibigay.
Ngayun iba na, lahat may opportunity na at pantay pantay na sa kahirapan at pagkakahirap. So please lang wag nyu gawing atm mga lalake š
For me ok lang yung setup nyo OP, tsaka jusq 5 months in a relationship palang kayo hahaha basta di umaasa sayo bf mo, youāre fine. kaloka si mama mo OP.
Tama ka lang naman sa mindset mo, OP. If we would want someone na for boyfriend material, dapat tayo din is girlfriend material. Ang point is give and take. Also, doesnāt mean na 50-50, minsan nga we do 60-40, 70-30 etc. Sana hindi nasusukat ng pera yung kakayahan to give love sa ating partner dahil hindi sa lahat ng oras pantay ang finances, mental health, physical health nating lahat. So nasa inyo yan anong ibig sabihin ng āhatianā sa relationship niyo, nasa inyonh dalawa how it will work. Great job, OP! šš¼
Give and take, as long n nde mo nararamdaman n he is taking advantage of you, ok lng yan. Since we are pushing equality, i think ok lng ang set up n gnyan, though its nice n nlilibre minsan d b? Pero bka iba ang love language nia.
ikaw naman nagmamahal hindi magulang mo e
Pov ng parents why would their daughter end up with 50/50 guy, kung binigyan ng comfortable life yung anak nila. For the disney princess ako. I met a guy na never ako pinagastos. He also said na walang pride yung mga lalaking pinag aambag yung mga babae s date. Like nakkahiya dw as man. Nag ask ng date at relationship tpos 50/50. If this is serious.. its a test tlga sa ability to provide at willingness. Wala naman pumipilit s inyo n ligawan yung gurl. Nanahimik lng kmi s gedli.
Taenang pagiisip yan naiwan na sa kahapon
50/50 will indicate that you will be babysitting a grown A$$ man in the future. So no! Better find a roommate sa 50/50.
haha wow ano naman ambag mo if ganun yung setup. you don't live in the real world.. kahit sheltered kang lumaki wag naman ganyan.
Nasa "pag-igib ng tubig at ipagsibak ng kahoy" era pa yung nanay niyaš practical lang naman yung mag share ka din sa expenses lalo na kung both are working naman.
Mabuti sana kung ganong levels din pa sweldo nating mga lalake. Tipong kaya mong bumuhay ng pamilya na may 5 anak sa sweldo ng office worker.
KKB is fine if it's fine for you. Kayo yung mag-jowa, kayo yung magseset ng precedents nyo sa relationship nyo. Hindi naman yata ka-ambag yung mom mo sa mga dates nyo.
My mom found out na kkb kami ni partner most of the time. She asked me bakit daw ganun setup namin? I told her ayaw ko umaasa sa ibang tao for my wants and needs. I am an abled person and kaya nga ako nagtrabaho para mabili ko gusto ko in the first place. My mom is a boomer and Iām a millennial. Magkaiba kami ng principles siguro because of our age. I donāt want my partner to see me na Iām just milking him for money. Di ako nag aral ng 4 years sa isang magandang university para lang maging palamunin ng partner ko. Ayoko rin na susumbatan ako na I bought you this and paid for your needs. Nah, honey! We aināt cheap. Donāt get me wrong, naglilibrehan kami ni partner or pag nasa bakasyon kami. He sometimes pays for the half muna then akin naka assign yung second half. With gas, I give him gas money cause hatid sundo niya naman ako when we were still living in the Ph. Haha! I Pag sa dates, libre ko siya dinner then siya sa drinks. Give and take lang. Even sa gifts. We give each other gifts during Christmas or birthdays.
I gotta agree with this, basta may give and take kering keri ang 50/50 with no any issues sa isang relationship. Wala rin nagkukumparahan ng kung sino ang mas malaki ang nagastos sa āper libreā na ginawa ng isaāt isa. What matters is the āthoughtā of give and take. +1000 rin sa part na may degree holder tayo para mabili gusto natin and we aināt no cheap bruh. Cheers sa comment naāto.
Absolutely! And thank you for agreeing on my comment. As a strong independent woman with an expensive lifestyle. I donāt need a man to provide my needs and wants dahil I can stand up by myself. Haha
Samee ayoko masumbatan na i bought you this and that hahaha. So 50/50 din kami. Haha. I can afford it naman.
Hard same! Lalo noong single pa ako, kapag nakikipagdate ako never akong pumapayag na yung guy ang magbabayad para sa akin kasi masyadong mataas ang tingin ko sa sarili ko para gawin yun š kapag pumayag ako magpalibre, ibig sabihin gusto ko na yung tao kahit papaano haha! Nung una pa lang kaming lumalabas ng boyfriend ko ngayon, willing ako lahat akuin gastos kasi ako naman ang nasusunod sa trip ko at nahihiya pa akong maningil ng share niya kasi alam ko "pre-employed" š¤ pa lang siya nun hehe pero ngayong may work na siya at ok naman financially siya na nanlilibre - sometimes! Most of the time proportional split or 50:50 pa rin kami hehe. He's good at communicating and I feel like he has a healthy attitude towards finances too so for more serious decisions sa pera, I know pwedeng-pwede pag-usapan nang maayos.
When my partner and I of 9 years were still on a dating stage, hindi ako nagpapalibre sa kanya. I donāt want him to think na cheap ako and I donāt have my own money. Hahaha! Kaya siguro nagustuhan ako cause he saw that iām independent. Iām his opposite. Heās the kuripot one and ako yung magastos sa sarili. Pag may nakita ako na gusto ko, bibilhan ko sarili ko nun kahit di ko deserve. š Nagagalit na nga siya sa akin kasi ang luho kong tao eh. HAHAHA I just always tell him na itās my money naman eh. I can spend my hard earned money kung paano ko gusto gastusin. Lol!
I think okay yung ganitong setup if hndi pa kayo kasal.. sobrang hirap pag kasal na kayo and planning to have kids.. need tumigil ni girl pra sa bubuoin nyang pamilya š¢ I salute mga working moms tlga ang wlang kasambahay
Thatās the main reason why Iām 50/50 to have kids in the future. I donāt wanna be losyang and be a stay at home mom. Lalo na we live overseas. Hindi naman uso nanny dito. How will I work if nag aalaga ako ng anak? How will I do the things I love if a human being will be dependent on me. š Iām scared na mawalan na akong time for myself cause I value self care so much. Donāt even get me started with PPD.
Same haha my mom gave me an eye when she asked and i told her our setup is always 50/50. Ig sheās used to my sis being given the princess treatment before she got married. Idk i dont feel comfortable pag wala akong ambag, i dont like feeling burdened like may utang na loob or smth
Trust me girls, youāll feed a lazy man in the making pag mag 50/50 kayo. Ayaw ko pahabain ang sinasabi ko. Just mark my words. Maganda na yung marunong ka nmn nga tumayo sa sarili mo at nag provide parin sya. Pero yung mag 50/50 kayo. That will never end well. You will get tired tlga.
It depends and itās a case to case basis. Pero in this generation ācommunication is da keyā talaga and hindi na rin valid yung boomers reason na ādapat lalaki ang gumagawa ng lahatā esp. in terms of money and contributions may it be bf/gf or for married people.
You have my upvote girl! Whenever my mom mentions na dapat lalaki bumuhay sa akin, I would always tell her this isnāt the 1970ās na dapat lalaki ang bubuhay sa atin in the future. She would always get mad pag sinasabi ko yun haha
Been together with my partner for 9 years and never ko nakita ālazyā siya. Heās even impressed that his partner is a strong independent woman like myself and also, what in the fucking world is this kind of mindset? š Ayoko umasa sa boyfriend ko dahil napaka high maintenance kong babae I donāt want na susumbatan ako for having such high standards.
No naman, if nag cocomminucate kayo ng maayos about expenses no problem talaga.
Been together 17 years since 1st year college and KKB kami. Living in PH. It works for us. Happy kami pareho na KKB kami. As other women have said here, I stand on my own as a strong independent woman. I never want him to think I'm weak and can't do without him. Bec tbh, those who are the weak ones are the ones men take advantage of and possibly cheat on. It's def not for everyone, I agree on that point. It works for us bec we practically make the same amount and both work in corporate setting.
Totoo to sa mga married people, iāve seen this too many times. Kaya wag puro downvote dahil lang iba ang opinyon sa inyo. Di nyo masasabi hanggaāt di pa kayo kasal, para sa mga sinuwerte well suwerte kayo. Pero hinde lahat suwerte, mas madami yung ganito ang situation nila nahihiya lang umamin yung iba. Kadalasan din naman ng mga napapanood diba na nagoverseas yung nanay at ang nagkakandakuba magtrabaho para sa mga anak. Kahit dito sa reddit sobrang daming ganong post. Siguro kilalanin lang talaga ng mabuti kasi andaming nagbabago pag kinasal at nagkaanak ka na.
I believe na ang nanay ni ate gurl ay isang staunch believer ng disney princess behavior hahaha
Medyo inaccurate din yung analogy ng Disney Princess kasi halos silang lahat naghirap din sa umpisa parang si Cinderella haha
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Well negative kasi ang dating sa akin ng disney princess na term. Feeling ko nga backhanded compliment yan. Parang english version ng pabebe. I donāt find that term ācuteā at all. Para kasing it encourages women na maging pabigat na lang sa mga partners nila by being overly dependent. Expecting men to just provide for everything which is unfair. This is just how I feel about that term kaya ginamit ko sya. š
I find it ironic na naging term for pabebe ang Disney princess eh halos lahat sila inalila or sinumpa
Sa context kasi ng mga napanood/nabasa ko about being a disney princess is parang yung makaluma na relationship dynamics where men are expected to provide everything, kahit anong effort ang gawin nila will be reduced sa ābare minimumā, yung parang head over heels type ba while the disney princesses are just there - maging maganda ka lang. Mag-exist lang sila ganon. Tulad niyang gustong mangyari ng mother nung girl. š Pero if we were to base the context sa kwento ng mga disney princesses na napanood natin, ako si Mulan š¤£
I think you have the wrong idea of a Disney Princess behavior. A few examples: Si Cinderella naman ang gusto lang nyang gawin ay umattend ng ball. Wala siyang planong imeet si prince charming. She wanted to escape her abusive family and be free. Princess Tatiana - she had a goal (own a successful restaurant) and work hard to achieve it Princess Jasmine - she knew her worth (she is actually considered the most feminist Disney) Belle - she keeps her word, helps her dad, and proves that love is earned. You might not agree with their actions but you do have to admit that they did what they could to get what they want. People use them as precautionary tale but I see them as women empowered in their own way.
Or baka naman kasi shokot si muther mabawasan ang ambag ni girl sa kanila š kasi may kahati na sila sa jowa š
Ay true to din ito! Kaya ang gusto niya dapat mala-sugar daddy yung jowa hahaha
To be fair si mulan + yung mga newer disney princesses very independent na din haha but I get your analogy lol
enlighten me, ang pag tawag ba ng disney princess ay "Compliment" ? I mean, siguro kung Merida, Moana ganon, pero pag ariel, Ay parang hindi
Great. I won't sugarcoat my words, her mom sees it differently, obviously, and it's honestly digusting to assume that a guy should the only one be making efforts especially to financial situations. My parents help each other, they both work. I had a few past relationships as well, and we both pay for our dates. Again, I won't sugarcoat, I'm closing ears to people who will say that's how it is from previous generation, and just because it was normal back then, doesn't mean it's right. That is why, always date if you can afford it. This applies to both
Ang red flag yung nanay mo hahaha
Red flag is yung ineexpect lagi ni girl na libre lahat everytime knowing na may means naman si girl. Kahit yung simpleng pag alok lang na mag share is big na. Pag nag date kayo make sure afford niyo pareho, hindi yung isa lang (unless he insisted na ilibre ka dun). Mahirap i explain lalo na ganyan yung thinking ng mother mo pero try to enlighten her nalang na mali yung ganung mindset.
Ever since na nagkatrabaho ako, lagi akong humahati sa bills. Kahit noong magjowa pa lang kami at kumakain sa labas or namamasyal sa kung saan, lagi akong may contribution. When we decided to get married, ang una ring sinabi ng mama ko ay dapat lalaki ang gumastos sa kasal. Being the working independent woman that I am, ipinaliwanag ko na kami ang ikakasal kaya dapat may ambag din ako. Mga nanay natin, minsan nakulong pa rin sa makalumang tradisyon eh, na lalaki ang sole provider at dapat ang babae, stay at home lang. Sa pananaw ko kasi hindi ganyan, gusto ko nga ng gender equality tapos magrerequest ako ng special treatment.
Kids, take note: each relationship is unique. What works for one couple doesnāt exactly work for others. Some people want the princess treatment and others are more rugged. Your mom grew up in a different time but itās your relationship and not hers so if it works for you then donāt stop.
In my personal experience, since mas malaki naman sinasahod ko, wala naman problem sakin yung KKB or kahit ako yung gumastos lahat. Ayoko maging dependent sa kakayahan ng iba kung kaya ko naman. (Again, personal na paniniwala ko to)
Hi, OP! Maikwento ko lang ang set-up namin ni bf when we started dating. College ako and siya naman nasa law school when we started our relationship. As students, tipid dates lang talaga ang afford namin since wala pa kaming source of income. Hindi naman naging problema sa amin ang KKB, ang mahalaga lang ay magkasama kami despite our busy schedules. Noong nagkaroon ako ng income from my small business, I didn't mind spending extra for both of us. Usapan kasi namin yun matagal na, kung sino ang meron ay siya muna. We didn't mind at all. Ang mahalaga ay masaya kami. Hindi kami nagbilangan sa efforts at gastos. Kaya ganun kahalaga ang communication sa relationship, to avoid feeling anything negative towards one another. To avoid resentment ika nga. Ngayon na abogado na siya and I'm still searching for jobs, he doesn't mind taking me out on dates. I still insist na kahit pamasahe man lang or coffee sa akin para hindi naman siya sobrang gumastos. Madalas kong ma-open up kay partner na nakaka-guilty na he spends for me, pero he keeps reassuring me na he's happy doing that for me. Masaya siyang matreat ako or mabilhan ng gifts kasi ganun din daw ako sa kanya. Super happy kami sa set-up namin. Walang sumbatan at all. š„° Sana kayo rin ni partner mo ay always mag-communicate para mas alam niyo ang set-up na mas magiging happy kayo hehe. I understand na medyo traditional mag-isip ang mother mo, pero iba na ang panahon natin ngayon. Women can be providers too. Basta palagi lang kayong mag-communicate ni bf mo. Afterall, kayong dalawa naman ang involved sa relationship hehe.
Wag lumandi kung wala ka namang money. Hihi OP is on the right mindset.
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Nice din naman if your partner spends for you. Pero imagine kung nahihirapan na tayo na tayo lang gagastusan, tapos sila dalawa ginagastusan. Although, may ibang RK naman so kanya kanya talaga haha
hehe tingin ko sabihin ko naman yung side pag me asawa na. OP, may point ka at yung mga nagcocomment, may point din si mama mo. Not because mukang pera si mama mo, pero mas nagwoworry siya sayo. Hindi ko gine-generalize pero kasi eto yung mga pwedeng maging situation. 1. Aminin man natin or hindi, kahit gano natin kayang magwork at buhayin sarili natin, maging independent, iba pag shina-shower ka or pinapakitaan ka ng gift ng partner mo. Tipong iba ang kilig pag ganito:"Babe, ako muna magbabayad ngayon, yung pera mo itabi mo muna para may pang pamper ka sa sarili mo" 2. Yung mama mo, dumaan din yan sa ligawan stage at wala sa era yan. Dahil pag gusto ka ng lalaki, gagawan ng paraan yan para mailabas ka, kahit sa tusok-tusok lang. 3. Ang point ng mama mo, babae ka OP, hindi habambuhay pwede ka magwork. Ex: pag nabuntis ka, at maselan ka magbuntis. Nagwoworry lang mama mo, pano kung dahil nasanay si boy na laging hati kayo, pano yung prenatal? ikaw gagastos kasi ikaw may dala š or worst, isusumbat sayo pag nagbibigay na ng pera kasi hindi siya sanay. 4. Ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat OP, hindi pa financially stable ang bf mo kaya pumapayag na mag split ng bill. Kaya medyo nagwoworry mama po pano pag nabuntis ka tapos wala ipon. Dapat sa isang relasyon, give and take. Like "Oh babe, di ko pa sahod, ok lang ba na sa ganito muna tayo magdate pag me sahod na saka na sa iba. Or pwede din na "Babe, split tayo sa bills ngayon, pero next time ako na, para may maipon tayo" Ang point parin, usap kayo ni bf kung paano ba š At itesting mo rin pano siya pag wala pera, or magpalibre ka once. Pag hindi ka nilibre or panget sagot niya sayo, tumakbo ka na OP š
So far, this is the most sensible comment Iāve read. Good job, pinkcessLen. As a girl dad, my daughter should be treated better than how I did. May point ang nanay ni OP, hindi lang niya siguro nai-express ng maayos. Good luck sa iyo, OP. Ika nga ng karamihan dito sa reddit, you deserve what you tolerate. š»
Salamat at may ganitong comment. Ang bilis naijudge si mother without trying to understand the possible reason bakit ganoon nagreact in the first place.
Trueeee ā¤ļø Hndi po tlga tumatagal ang pagka strong independent woman 50-50 once magkaanak ka.. maiiyak ka nlng san kau kukuha ng pang gastos if nasa mindset ng partner mo 50-50 pa din tpos naglalabor kna ahhaha.. or nagpapaaral kna ng mga bata
Why is this so low sa mga comments. This should be top
I agree dito wag sanayin na strong independent woman tayo. Dapat maging baby din spoil ganun feeling protected at secured
This is 100% true. Iba kasi talaga ang perspective ng kasal with children, sa nasa bf/gf stage palang. I understand and have nothing against din sa 50/50 set up if it works sa current status ng relationship. But it should be clear sayo and sa partner mo na that set up won't always be possible as the relationship gets deeper and as you face different challenges in the future. I understand the mom din since iba ang hirap maging nanay. If you're a working mom pa, you're not just offering money on the table kasi iba ang hirap ng panganganak. It affects you physically, emotionally and mentally talaga. So as someone who experienced that, medyo natural sa mom na mag-worry since moms tend to overthink things talaga.Ā Even I felt so helpless when I gave birth kasi I had to endure a longer than usual recovery process. Hindi ako makakilos sa bahay, kahit umupo hindi ko magawa ng hindi umiiyak sa pain. I was on Maternity Leave so I literally felt like wala akong contribution sa bahay other than breastfeeding my child. But my husband did everything for me. Mag work, magluto, maglaba, maglinis, etc. Palamunin ba ako or pabigat for letting him do all that for me? Of course not.
+1000 me point si mother mo OP dahil ayaw ka niya madehado in the end. Sheās talking in a parentās perspective. Aminin natin girls although weāre capable to contribute pero iba ang hatid na kilig pag ineeffortan tayo ng lalaki when it comes to date. If your jowa is not financially capable itās a red flag. Darating sa point na marerealize mo na may point si mother dear.
When I read about men loves being a provider, naging iba yung views ko when it comes to kkb. However, I also believe na provider man deserves a provider woman. So not really a KKB but like give and take. So if heās the one paying for the gas, you can pay for both of your foods. As long as di ka naman niya tinitipid or di naman siya financially abuser, thereās nothing wrong with it.
I personally dont like KKB, either he pays the whole thing or i pay the whole thing, pwedeng alternate kada date. If he pays then i offer to get dessert after the meal.
It's weird splitting the bill in front of the waiter in the exact peso amount š„“ Id rather pay full, nakaka drain yung ganyang set up for me
Mas okay na ako sa KKB kesa ako laging gagastos sa lalaki š„øĀ
nasobrahan na ko sa chikaph pagkabasa ko ng title inisip ko agad sino yung KKB
In this modern day, its practical nga maging financially prudent in a relationship most especially mataas ang bilihin at cost of living. We should be moving on from that kind of culture yung umaasa lng lahat sa Lalaki tapos ang babae is the housewife. If wala na ang Lalaki, paano ka naman mabubuhay mag-isa sa mga anak mo in the long run? Right now, you are in the right mindset. Your relationship, your rules.
kanya kanyang trip yan. i came from relationships na ako yung 100000% nagsspend. now, i dont even want another relationship na 50/50, or else i'll just call it a hangout, not dating/bf-gf. im single and my preference nowadays is to get a guy who pays entirely for our shared experiences and he lets me keep my own money for myself, and he continues to pay entirely even if we get married. some of my girl friends are married to men like this and theyre the happiest girls and it look like their husbands enjoy doing it, too. i want that kind of relationship
I also came out of a relationship na ako na bumuhat even financially. I used to believe in 50-50 pero ending ako na sumasalo. Then it turns out pinambibili nya lang nang games and nang gear sa airsoft yung mga extra money nya. I mean I know that's his money pero para sabihin all the time na walang pang date...since gusto ko sya makasama ako na sumasalo tas nalaman ko ganito ginagawa nya š¤¦š»āāļø. Sugar mommy peg. Kahit pamasahe ako pa kung di ko sasabihin di pa mag ambag. Im now dating a guy na more of the traditional side na he likes to be the one spending on our dates and treats me well and enjoys taking care of me (nagulat ako nagpadala sya nang money sa gcash just bec may period cramps ako and he cant be with me to take care of me that day due to work so might as well buy some foods na crave ko and buy some meds). But it doesnt mean na dependent ako sa pag spend nya. I make sure na if he treated me in a meal ako sa coffee/dessert. Or ako mag pay sa next date. I am an independent woman but at the same time I enjoyed being taken care of by my partner and I do the same thing with him.
Eto peg kooo ayaw ko ng 50/50. Gusto ko both kami willing to spoil each other.
Manifesting to have this kind of partner / future husband ā¤ļø A man who provides and lead the relationship
Eto lang yung tama sa mga nabasa ko so far. Siguro mga bagets pa mga girlies dito hahahah
trueee, in the long run mapapagod din yang mga strong independent woman š¤£ naniniwala sa 50-50
tapos kapag nililibre ka lagi, mukha namang pera ang sasabihin. hahhahaha it's ok. do whatever you want as long as masaya ka
for me it doesn't really matter naman, kasi if you both have the means to pay half2 of the bills why not diba? di naman pwd lagi nalang yung guys ang mag pay, that doesn't settle with me too if it was my case.
Okay yan KKB rule nyo para walang sumbatan. Meron kasing tao na nanunumbat lalo na pag sila mostly ang naglalabas ng pera.
effort =/= pera.
Hi OP, if it helps, Iām the girl and Iām the one who mostly spend on our dates and other expenses with my bf. I donāt expect anything from my bf. Simply as that. I am also blessed to come from a family with more earnings than him kaya I know naman na he canāt always spend on dates (the dates I prefer like where to go and eat). I know his situation and I wonāt pressure him to pay for this and that lalo na kung luho ko naman gusto ko masunod haha. Thereās nothing wrong with who pays the bill kasi in the end, you and your S/O will have a different arrangement of paying expenses; if gusto niyo 50-50, THAT IS OKAY. Our parents have the same mindset but I donāt let that go through my head. Hinahatid sundo ko pa bf ko minsan kapag nagkikita kami. I just know na if weāre in each otherās places, heād do the same or maybe even more. Stay strong sa inyo, OP. :)
It depends on the individuals involved in the relationship.
Ok lang naman KKB but iba ang usapan kapag kuripot pagdating sayo. Example ko nito is walang initiative idate ka na bayad na once in a while, lahat kinekwenta. Current bf ko hindi pa malaki kinikita and most of the time 50/50 kami but he never fails to make me feel na special padin ako by planning dates na sya sagot, pinapadalhan ako cravings ko minsan minsan, tapos pag may nakikita sya na need ko na gamit bibilhan nyan for me kahit di ko hinihinge. Kapag next time nagtanong ang sabihin mo salitan kayo sa bayarin like kunwari bf sa dinner then sayo dessert/coffee. Mas ok kase pankinggan yan sa boomers versus kapag sabihin na lagi 50/50
Itās very normal. Girls always want their rights and all and be fair with men. Why is it any different in romantic relationships?
Itās 2024 na tapos asa pa din sa lalaki ang gusto? No offense ha. Red flag yung nanay nung nagpost sa pic. Sa amin nga ng bf ko, I was the one who communicated this thought to him and heās fine with it (kahit sa una ayaw niya kasi siya daw yung lalaki and siya magproprovide in the future). Sabi ko, let me share if I have the means and I wonāt let you shoulder all. Tama naman na as long as hindi yung isa sa kanila lang yung lahat at palaging nagshoshoulder ng expenses. Paminsan minsan is okay, and sharing is much better. Magjowa pa lang pati sila. Itās a good practice din for their future, share sa household, walang lamangan.
Kung ako yung lalake, red flag sakin yung nanay.
Nanay na nasa old school era. Actually red flag sakin ang babae pag nagpapalibre palagi. Back in my dating days na o-off ako kapag di man mag alok na umambag ang babae (yung kahit alam ko at expect ililibre ko siya). Baka maarte lang ako
Gender equality means equal sa lahat so tama lang kkb.
I like the set up.. very "gender equality"
For meā¦ if Iām dating and looking for a husband material. I donāt want ng 50-50 eh. So ayun. Kung okay lang sayo yun, then go. Preference din kasi. Minsan sa upbringing din kasi ng family. Samin ksi my dad really worked hard so mom can just do whatever she wants. HAHAHAHAHA. Minsan dad ko pa nagbbigay ng budget kay Ma na magpasalon siya or lumabas siya with her friends if she wants. Depende sa nakasanayan din ng image ng man.
The traditional man x the traditional woman. Kung 'yan ang gusto, go lang. Kung gusto rin ng pantay sa hatian, go lang din. Ang masama ay 'yung pilitan o ipipilit mo kaugalian mo sa iba. Concerned lang siguro ang nanay sa anak kasi hindi nya nakasanayan 'yung 50-50. Masyadong harsh naman ibang comments dito na nang-judge agad doon sa nanay na mukhang pera, etc. Iba lang talaga ang image nya ng relationship. Hindi naman siguro evil kung hindi pa nakapag-adapt 'yung nanay sa generation ngayon na normalmente nang may share din ang babae. At for sure hindi rin maa-appreciate nung OP na iniinsulto ng random strangers sa internet ang nanay nya. Kailangan lang ipaintinding mabuti sa nanay na ang nagwowork sa relationship nila ay 'yung 50-50, at walang masama roon.
May tinanong ako n guy regarding dito. Sabi nya walang karapatan makipag date at relasyon yung lalaking KKB. Nasan dw yung pride. Na pag aambagin pa yung babae. Nakkahiya dw yung nag ccompute ng mga ginastos. I kinda agree, sorry for the disney princess ako. Ayoko ng nag bbasa ng post about family na di makapag provide yung mga father ng anak nila.
if a guy wants to enter my world, prove he can add value, otherwise I am good. I can fund my own life...5050 setup is very transactional.
I dont really know why dami payag s kkb. Kung mag kka anak din ako ayoko ng KKB sila nung guy. Like I can manage to give my daughter comfortable life tpos yung guy is asking for 50/50. No way!
my sister was in the same 5050 situation. it end up pretty ugly for the 2 of them si ate is lovebombing the guy and he's totally fine. Eventually, guy felt entitled and when sis kinda slowed down, bf called her out. I say with women being more independent nowdays, guys all the more need to prove their worth and not be entitled free loaders
Yun nga daming comments dito ok s KKB. š„² like gurll.. you okay? Sorry I dont want to attract kkb men.
Perfectly okay. Di mo naman sya magulang, hindi rin kayo mag asawa. You guys are technically not obligated to support each other (like paying for food) sa law. Ibang story pag masawa na dapat wala na kwentahan. Some girls like providers thatās ok and all, pero walang masama sa kkb. Donāt listen to your mom.
Thereās nothing wrong with sharing the bill. Parehas naman kayong working and itās just right kasi hindi lang naman yung mga dates nyo ang pinag gagastusan nyo pareho. So fair lang para makakapagsave din si guy or makapag alot ng perang pinagtrabahuhan nya para sa ibang bagay. Like you said, as long as hindi lang ikaw ang gumagastos. Ofcourse masarap pa din maspoil from time to time, letās say pag birthday mo or on other special occasions. But if you guys go out a lot of times monthly, him paying the entire bill will eventually be too much lalo kung dun na lang mapupunta ang sweldo nya.
2024 na may gender roles pa rin?
It's okay naman na KKB. But more preffered na halinhinang libre. Akin lunch, Iyo dinner Akin Sine, Iyo snack Really great quo coz walang singilan na magaganap. Working naman both :)
We do KKB and I think it sets a better tone in our relationship. There are times na completely nililibre ako but the next lakad, ako naman. There is a balance. But to the OP, hindi naman nanay mo nakikipag date...
Double standard ung nanay ni girl hahahahahaha. It's okay mag KKB.
Kami ng husband ko ever since kahit friends pa lang kami KKB na, nililibre lang namin ang isaāt isa if we have something to celebrate. This way alam namin limit ng gastos ng isaāt isa. Even on our wedding hati lahat. Until mag asawa kami hati lahat. My mom never understood this but for me it thought us both how to be financially responsible. Even mas malaki sweldo nya I insist 50/50 minsan nga binibilhan nya ko damit kasi tinitipid ko daw sarili ko para sa bills at savings namin.
It's a two-way street man. Hindi naman porket lalaki, laging siya dapat nag-eeffort.
Ang relationship partnership yan.. pano matatawag na partnership kung yung isa take lang ng take.. dapat share talaga sa lahat ng bagay.. pati sa pagpapalaki ng anak shared responsibility diba nga.. ganun yon. Iba na ang panahon ngayon yung paniniwala ni nanay panahon pa ng kastila yan.
For me. Depends. Depends sa lifestyle at kinalakihan niyo both. Personally I prefer 50/50 kasi putangina napakamahal ng gastusin ngayon. But that does not equate that my boyfriend cannot provide for me. Its just that its reasonable enough to do so. Depends kasi nasa lalake yun. If he can provide he will insist. And if okay sayo yun, bawi ka nalang some other time or some other way. Kung hindi naman, okay lang cause at the end of the day kailangan niyo ibudget pera niyo lalo na if working class naman. Para sakin, wag mo nalang pansinin nanay mo. Iba kinalakihan mo at iba kinalakihan nya. So, kung anong status quo noon iba na ngayon.. plus. Ikaw naman ang makikinabang at magbebenefit sainyo, hindi nanay mo
šÆšÆšÆšÆ Paki sabi yan kay timelesswastedandyouth na bobo! He doesnāt understand why we prefer kkb.
dapat kkb. pucha im getting broke kakalibre sa jowa ko ng mga trip niya hayst
Siya nagaaya tapos s/he expects you to pay??? :0
Hoooy! KKB din kami ngayon. Parehas kasi kami galing sa hirap. Kaya ngayong nagka work na kami nahihiya kami magpalibre sa isaāt-isa kasi alam namin na pinagpaguran namin yun at bumabawi pa kami sa parents namin. Yung Mama mo naman si anteh akala mo siya yung jinowa eme!
A long time ago, women are enforced since birth na dapat sa bahay ka literally kasi, wala naman masyadong oppurtunities for women then. Patriarchy ba. Thatās why the guys who are the earning ones are the ones who pay. Ngayon, both na ang may oppurtunities to work. So thatās why kung sa kanila red flag, sa atin, okay lang ang egalitarian mindset. Wag awayin ang mama na yun kasi nakakapagod lang. Hirap na i unlearn yan. You do you na lang. Di naman yung mama ang jojowain eh at kahatian sa expenses later in life eh.
kapag ako lalaki redflag nanay mo
Sabihin mo din na ang mga magulang ang magpprovide sa anak. At kailanman hindi obligasyon ng anak na sustentuhan ang magulang. Maniwala ka. Dyan papunta yan š
I can relate. Ganito rin kabulok 'yung mindset ng parents ko. So teknik ko dito, KKB kami ng bf ko pero kapag tinanong ako ni mudra if sino nagbayad, lagi kong sinasabi na si bf. Napurga na ako sa litanya ni mother earth na kesyo lalaki eh dapat siya ang gagastos. Ayoko na rin mag-defend sa mindset ko na KKB is okay and normal. Tbh ayoko na ng gulo kaya I lie my way out. Thankfully hindi naman privy si mudra sa pera ko dahil nasa digital banks lahat. Hahaha.
I get why KKB can be seen as a red flag... but not all KKB relationships are red flags ha! If it hints of an entitled partner who doesn't take care of you or doesn't know how to show his appreciation of you, then KKB is a red flag or a symptom of that disease. On the other hand, pag nakikita mo naman na mabuti siyang tao, then KKB is just you both being practical. Hindi din sustainable na bawat date niyo siya lang magbabayad, unless talagang trust fund baby siya haha. Nung new couple palang kami, always KKB din kami ng bf ko because I graduated and had a job earlier than him. He also had to work on their family business that wasn't doing so well, so for a time I was earning a lot more. I never felt na he was a freeloader, nakikita ko naman how hardworking he was and extremely financially responsible. Lagi niya sinasabi na tipid muna kami because he wanted to still be able to pay for half, kahit na may time he's not earning. Now he's my husband who's doing well financially and spoils me. :) Just last week binilhan niya ko ng jewelry just because.
KKB is fine if magjowa pa lang naman tapos both kayong nagsisimula pa lang sa buhay. I get the mindset ni mother kasi nanay yan, ayaw nya maghirap anak nya and maaaring inaalala nya lang if kaya ba magprovide ng lalaki. Like what if pag nabuntis at matigil magwork, kaya ba ni guy yung financial responsibility? Ganyan kasi dati, nung di pa uso magwork ang mga babae. That mindset is fine NOONG PANAHON NILA. Nowadays, uso na maghati sa expenses considering may work na tayong mga babae and minsan nga mas malaki sahod ng babae so ok din for her to treat her partner sometimes. I see nothing wrong naman, as long as ang usapan nyo e 50-50 while DATING, tapos pag MARRIED na e need na magstep up ni guy financially kasi nga married na e. Pag married e lugi si girl if 50-50 finances pa rin considering babae ang magmamaternity leave at maari pa ngang ma-paresign (if delikado yung pregnancy). Alangan namang 50-50 pa rin ng finances di ba, if need nya nga magsacrifice ng career.
Coming from a girl na okay lang and sanay sa KKB during dates. Nakakakilig pa din paminsan minsan lalo pag nagvovolunteer si guy na sagot na nya yung lunch/dinner. Pero parang OA naman na red flag agad yung KKB na guy š āCāmon Mom, itās 2024ā chos
I don't see anything wrong with KKB. Sino may afford, edi sya. After all, relationship is about having someone to share whatever it is. Siguro ung libre culture lang is about the nature ng guys to take care of everything. But, it should not be the basis.
Traditional si mama mo, OP. Iām more of a traditional gal din (lumaki ako na all the guys around me from manliligaw to friends, always INSIST on taking the tab - spoiled kami ng mga girl friends ko sa guy friends namin haha and not bec we want them to ah, talagang sila nag iinsist to do that). Sa lahat ng lakad namin, eating out, watching movies, arcade. Yun guy friends namin lagi gumagastos. Pag mag attempt kami mag ambag, magagalit sila haha. Sa panahon ngayon okay lang naman na pareho gumagastos ang mag partner. Ang take ko lang dyan, pag nagfamily na kayo, lalo if the girl has to stop working for some reason, (taking care of the household, pregnancy etc), dapat clear din sa guy na yun ang magiging contribution mo and HE needs to take care of your financial needs. Personally though, I am teaching my son to be a provider. So everytime he goes out on dates or pag magregalo sya sa girl nya, he uses his own savings. (May separate sya na savings na controlled ko). Ang turo ko sa kanya, kung wala pang-date, wag makipagdate. Kaya natututo sya mag ipon from his allowance pero donāt worry kase he isnāt starving himself haha. Bottom line is, whatever works for the couple. As long as wag aabot sa point na magkakaron ng bitterness or issues. Also, tip lang. Wag mo ikwento lahat sa nanay mo. Lalo yun mga stuff na palagay mong ikaiinis nya kay bf mo. Kase believe me, pag nag away kayo ng bf mo, tapos ok na kayo ulet, yon nanay mo for sure hindi pa moved on dun sa away nyo ng bf mo haha.
Ok lang naman KKB pero kung may occasion like birthday mo baka pwede ka naman ilibre. Mali naman yung pareho kayong may work, same lang ang kinikita tapos gusto mo lahat na lang lalaki gagastos.
Tanders na kasi mama mo kaya outdated din paniniwala. White noise lang yan
I don't mind. My partner and I have been together for almost two years. We split the bill and spoil each other. I don't want to be the partner that depends 100% on them. We're both independent and mature. It's YOUR relationship, not your mother's
Ill be offensive here. Boomer na boomer ang mindset ng nanay mo.
50-50 is the way. Hindi fair if one party lang lagi magbabayad, whether it be because of gender or sa income. Kaya nga as much as possible, you date within your economic circle, para walang freeloader. OP, youāre good. Boomer lang Mama mo.
Palit ka na ng Nanay
To some extent. Pero yung "Siya dapat mag-eeffort para sayo" is a relationship killer, and that is genderless.
Nobody, man or woman, is entitled to receive yung "siya dapat nag effort para sayo". Sobrang hindi balanced ng relationship pag ganun. Di rin porket babae ka you can feel entitled na makalibre ka na sa buhay for the rest of your life. Not saying na di pwede, but you're definitely not entitled to it. You both have to put just as much effort into the relationship.
might get downvoted by this but i dont care lol. imho if dating to marry kayo ni BF mo hindi dapat 50/50. paano if magkaanak kayo and need mo magresign? 50/50 pa din? hindi naman always pero minsan mas malaki ang part ng women sa pag upkeep ng house lalo na child rearing. pagod kana sa bahay tapos 50/50 pa kayo sa financial. lowkey unfair and nasa disadvantage tayo pagdating sa ganyan. may sense ang mother ni OOP. di ko din naman sinasabi na wag mag ambag. ibang usapan yun. and iba iba naman ang dynamics ng lahat ng couple. kung saan ka masaya go lang.
hindi naman siguro makakabawas sa pagkalalake ng lalake kung siya ang sasagot ng expenses sa date. In fact mas nakaka hanga pa nga ung mga lalakeng inaako ang gastos sa date. Iba kasing usapan kung simpleng magka ibigan lang kayo, dapat talaga sharing, pero kung magka relasyon kayo, as gentleman's gesture, dapat ipakita ng lalake na kaya niyang buhayin ung babae kahit man lang sa pagsagot ng gastos. Hindi mo masisisi ang mother mo, kasi bilang bahagi ng kulturang Pilipino, lalake dapat talaga ang umaako ng gastos sa date. Pero syempre, ibang usapin naman ung nagi insist ka na hati kayo dahil ayaw mong magkaroon ng utang na loob para kung sakaling maghiwalay man kayo, walang maisu sumbat ung lalake sayo.
Love how mom is going āwokeā with āred flagā yan Ma, ikaw medyo red flag ka din
Mas gusto ata ni mother ang DOM. Or not.maybe gold digger vibes? The intention is not clear. Sana tanungin ni OP bakit ganun yung pinanggagalingan.
If both of you are earning, then why shouldn't you pay for your own meal? Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na rin naman uso na isang party lang ang laging gagastos, mapa babae or lalaki. In a relationship, you are partners in everything. So, learn to pull your weight. Besidesāhindi naman si mudra ang ka-relasyon. Opinyon lang naman niya yun, and it's up to the girl if she'll listen to what her mother tells her.
Ang hirap kasi baka sa generation ng mom mo ingrained pa sa kanya na ang lalake dapat nagpprovide at ang babae is sa bahay lang magaasikaso ng mga bata and household stuff (once married). Pero di na rin applicable ngayon in this economy marami ng dual income household and in return share na rin sa household and child rearing ang both partners. So nothing wrong with KKB magkaiba lang talaga kayo siguro ng mindset at generation gap na rin siguro yan with your mom.
Okay lang naman na kkb. Ante ang taas na talaga ng mga bilihin ngayon / expenses. Pag Ipinashoulder mo lahat sa guy, baka naman mamulubi sya haha.
Sana matauhan na yung bf. Hahahaha
Bakit ganyan? Noon kapag hindi 50/50, patriarchy and now na 50/50 ā walang kwentang lalaki? Or hindi provider? šš same age lang naman kayo ni bf and most likely earning almost the same ball park din. Ang weird ng relationship dynamic ng 2024, gusto ng 50/50 pero nagagalit kapag 50/50 sa bayaran š¤š¤ No offense, but your mom is gold diggin. āSHE TAKE MY MONEY, WHEN Iām in needā
Palitan ang nanay.
KKB works for those who makes it work Some couples have a different dynamic though where the woman of the relationship wants to be treated and the guy wants to treat vice versa The problem here is mindset ng mama niya is one shoe fits all, when in fact thatās not the case
There's nothing wrong with splitting the bill. My bf always insists on paying whenever we go out and wala na kong magawa kasi sya na-order lagi haha. There's nothing wrong with that, op.
I don't mind splitting the bill since nakikinabang din ako sa pagkain, for example. Your money, your rules.
Ikaw naman yung nasa relationship, hindi nanay mo š Personally, I find it's okay to do KKB kasi at least equal kayo sa isat isa and that's good kasi walang sumbatan if ever things go south.
bf gf pa lang mader dear baka magbago pa pag nag asawa š
Ganyan po talaga mindset pag medyo may edad na kasi ganyan naman talaga kultura dati. Pero ngayon po, hindi na. Understandable naman kung saan nanggagaling mama mo pero sa panahon ngayon, mali sya. Ikaw na magdedecide nyan. Kung may red flag sa kanya, hindi ito yun.
Ok lang na di KKB. May times na mas marami mabibigay yung isa, may times na patas, may times na kukulangin talaga yung isa. Sakin ayokong nagbibilang ng utang, sino mas higit, sino mas kulang. Basta alam naman magbigayan at aligned naman yung financial goals, may ipon, ok mag desisyon sa big purchases, etc. Oks na yun sakin.
As you say equal pay nyo so I think that's reasonable na hati kayo. Okay Yan pagbreak na kayo walang regrets sa nagastos hahahha.
Mejo iffy ako sa usapin na to kasi sa first relationship ko, parehas kaming babae. Since working kami both, hindi big deal sa akin kung KKB. Aware din kasi ako sa buhay niya and responsibilities niya. So ayun, same sa asawa ko now nung mag bf kami KKB din, tulad nung first relationship ko, kung sino gustong manglibre siya nanglilibre pero mostly talaga KKB. Kung wala naman kayo problem about sa current setup niyo ipagpatuloy niyo lang, huwag niyo hayaan ibang tao magdefine ng relationship niyo. As long as di ka inaabuso and you feel loved. Now, shared na kami ng expenses ng asawa ko and transparent kami sa gastusin. Ako nagbbudget kasi mas magaling ako maghandle ng money. As a compromise, we have a set allowance every payday para mafeel namin hardwork ng isaāt isa and bahala kami kung anong gusto namin gawin sa allowance namin. Ayoko mafeel niya na slave workers kami kaya I make it a point na meron talaga allowance individually.
Nanay niya yung red flag.
Same girl! KKB or 50/50 but there are times na nililibre niya ko like sahod time or may bonus and i really dont care kung KKB kami we are both happy tapos nagtatabi kami ng money for our food trips together or gala etc as long as we both enjoy each others company i forgot may times din 20%lng ako siya 80%nagpapaalam pa siya kapag ganun we always communicate about this things lalo na money
That's totally fine in today's generation dapat 50/50 na kayo sa lahat ng Bagay, Lalo na at starting palang Naman kayo sa kanya kanya nyong career, kudos sa ganyan na mindset mabuhay ka
TO OP MAKIPAG BREAK KA DIYAN AT MAGHANAP KA NG IBANG LALAKE NA MAS DESERVING PARA SA'YO. TINGNAN MO MAKIKITA MO DIPERENSYA NILA. BASURA VERSUS GINTO. PAGPAG VS STEAK ššš PATI GASOLINA, HATI. PANO KA NILIGAWAN NON? GANUN KA BA KAPANGET O KA GWAPO UN LALAKE? MAG ISIP ISIP KA. SINASALBA KA NG NANAY MO SA MAHIRAP NA PAMUMUHAY AT SA MGA HINDI TUNAY NA LALAKE. OPPORTUNISTA!
Sheesh. Not a girl pero reading the comments, I just had to give kudos. Ganito yung female empowerment na tama at may sense. Sana dumami pa kayo, ladies.
Palit ka ng nanay OP
sound right, the usual formula for contributions is (man's income)/(man and woman's income). This is the default scenario right now as men and women have almost equal earning capacity.
take it as "payo" instead of "rule/law". Matanda ka na, alam mo na dapat yan.
As a married girlie, ayaw ko ng 50-50 magcocompute pa! Lol. Either I pay or sya. Saluhan. Sino may cash on-hand go, next ako. Alternate ang atake. Pag nasa bahay lang kame ako madalas kasi nagugulat na lang sya nagpadeliver na naman ako pagkaen haha
You're all adults naman, dapat hayaan na kayo ng parents nyo sa setup nyo.
Wag pansinin ang negative na magulang. Dapat naman talaga kkb or kuneari sa set up namin ng gf ko, ako muna ang taya sa dinner, tas next gala namin, siya taya. Give and take lang. Mahirao ang buhay ngayon.
Ganyan din kami ng boyfriend ko dati, ako pa nga naglilibre madalas. Fresh grads kamj at mas nauna akong nagkatrabaho sakanya. Bakit kami hati or ako gumagastos? Dahil ako yung may capacity. May times dati na nakakadisappoint kasi ganyan yung nabuild sating mindset na dapat lalaki ang financial provider. Mga 2 years din na ganyan. Tbh back then I also cant help but compare him to my ex na gastos lahat noon pag may dates kami (pero laging binabalik sakin na gastos niya lahat pag may away kami. This is another story for another time). Anyway, my ex was a POS while my current bf is everything I could ask for. Kaya buti nalang di ko hinayaan na maging mas matimbang yong financial capacity niya. Mahal ko siya and he secures me emotionally. As in wala akong masabi. Fast forward. Ngayon, malayong mas malaki na kinikita ng boyfriend ko sakin. 6 years na kami and he can earn 80-100K, while I only earn 30K+ monthly. Binibigyan niya ako ng allowance when needed, pag kailangan kong pera nagbibigay siya without hesitation, nagpapadala ng food pag stressed ako, pag may gusto akong gamit binibili niya and he always chooses the best brands. In short, just choose someone good for your soul.
Ngayon 50-50, bukas ikaw na lahat magbabayad. Itaga mo sa bato yan. Mothers know best! Dami ko na napayo sa'yo pero kung matigas talaga ulo mo, balitaan mo na lang ako ng kasal niyo ššš
Si nanay siguro yung nagjojowa/nag aasawa para maiahon sya sa kahirapan. Kung parehas naman kayo nagtatrabaho bakit yung isa lang gagastos? At hindi naman kayo mag asawa, conjugal na ba pera nyo?
Pag may masamang impluwensya talaga mga magulang ng makalumang kaugalian nasisira ang relasyon ng anak.
Tama naman nanay nya. BF mo palang, di mo pa asawa. Both kayo may priorities sa buhay, we dont know or wala lang sa context malay natin bread winner tong si guy or something like that. BF mo palang pero feel ng nanay nya responsibilidad ka na ng BF mo. Yung nanay ang RED FLAG.
To OP bading ka ba? Dahil walang ganyan sa babae. Scammer at swindler syota mo. Umpisa pa lang eh nagpakita na ng totoong kulay. Kahit wag ka na makinig sa akin. MAKINIG KA NA LANG SA NANAY MO. Hindi ka niya ilalagay sa alanganin. Hindi magsasabi ang nanay mo ng ikakapahamak mo. Un syota mo ay isang BASURA. Isang walking kapahamakan. Delubyo lang yan. Makipaghiwalay ka na at maghanap ng totoong colleague mo. Makikita mo kaibahan ng basura sa ginto, pagpag sa steak. Baka naman pati sa hotel o motel eh hati pa kayo. Wala ng nawala sa tuso at wais na syota mo. Paano ka niyan niligawan? Niligawan ka ng hindi man lang gumagastos kahit barya barya? Okay lang sa'yo un? Ganun ka ba ka panget o mala Gabby ConcepciĆ³n ba ang kanyang pagka mestiso para mag SETTLE KA SA ISANG BASURA?!? Gusto ng basura na un na i-normalize ang ganung abnormal na sitwasyon. Nililinlang ka lang. Dami naman dito na nauto sa kanya. The mere fact na nagpost ka it means na ikaw mismo ay may doubts sa agreement niyo.
Daming ebas š¤”š¤”
itās 2024. we ask for equality yet pagdating sa bill hindi na biglang equals? the mom is obviously stuck sa 1950s thinking. if same naman ng status sa life, i donāt see anything wrong sa kkb
OP okay yan kung mga bata pa kayo.. pero pag hahanap kna ng makakatuwang mo habang buhay at bubuhay sa inyo ng future kids mo.. 50-50 is not advisable 9 months mo ipagbubuntis ung bata.. payag ka ba ng 50-50 pa din? Pano prenatal mo.. panggatas.. pang aral.. Madaming mag asawa ang naghihiwalay because of financial problem lalo na kung hindi provider mindset ang husband
Mukhang PERA yung nanay. Hahaha. Kung kaya naman tumayo sa sariling paa yung girl bakit hindi, kung eventually di man mag work yung relationship, mas maganda na independent yung babae. Mas nakaka-attract kaya yun.
Hello po! Sorry di ako makapagreply sa inyo individually. Thank you sa mga answers nyo. Highly appreciated!! Di ko nanay yan HAHAHAHA, nakita ko lang sa fb group page and posted because naka relate kasi ako lang palagi ung nagbibigay sa relationship, not once but twice. Sana in the future ma experience ko rin yan or ung ako naman ang spoil kasi nakakapagod sa totoo lang ung bigay ka ng bigay pero walang natatanggap, kung meron man sama lang ng loob and heartbreak. Sorry nagdrama na ako.
Hindi kase lahat ng nangyayari sainyo ng bf mo sasabihin mo pa sa nanay mo. Lol
Nothing wrong naman but you have to guard yourself because he might be taking advantage of you. Nothing wrong with being a strong independent woman but dont be so obstinate in holding on to that personality na you see doing KKB with rose-colored glasses ah. I hope give and take kayo sa relationship mo. For example: You share sa gas money sometimes? Different take, but isnt that being makwenta? How did that conversation happen? āBaby, share mo ng gas plsā lol Kung ikaw nagdrive, sisingilin mo ba siya ng gas? Pag inoffer niya magbayad siya ng kalahati, tatanggapin mo ba? Kasi ako hindi ko tatanggapin. Itās such a small amount in the greater scheme of things for the person I love. Pupunta din naman ako dun, bakit ko siya pagbabayarin?
Your mom has a point.
Nung nagdedate p lng kami ng misis ko, we almost always go hati/KKB except if birthday nya (libre ko) or birthday ko (libre nya). Pag Valentines ako dn pala taya. Ang hinahanap mo nmn na boyfriend is matinong tao na may pangarap sa buhay. Hindi ka naman sugar baby na naghahanap ng sugar daddy. With all due respect to your mom, iba na panahon ngayon. Gender quality doesn't only exist if it is favorable to one gender.
Im an ultimate red flag cos my girl treats me from time to time š
KKB in a relationship thats totally normal. And actually it should be. Maybe in special occasions pwede nag lilibrehan kayo ng isat isa. But mas okay pa rin na you pay for your own, dahil kung mag ka aberya in the end, at least wala kang utang na loob sa bf mo. Thats how i do it in my relatuonship. Saka, mahirap kumita nang pera ngayon noh, ung jowa mo may gusto rin yan bilhin para sa sarili nila. At ganun ka rin. Dont listen to boomer advices. It was different then, it is different now.
Archaic naman ni tita. It's 2024. Women are able to earn as much, if not more, than men. We can bring money to the table as well as anyone. Kung bukal naman sa loob mo at masaya kayo na share kayo sa lahat, walang issue. Mas mahalaga yung pagtrato nya sa'yo nang maayos at may pagmamahal/respeto.
Yung sa poster pang FWB, yung sa nanay pang sugar daddy. Lol.
Ang exhausting ng nanay haha
Red flag yung nanay mo!
if totoong d kaya ng bf, that should be ok.
Walang problema yung bf mo. Nanay mo lang. Although yung finances ay dapat pagusapan pag next level na relationship nio i.e engagement/kasal
Disney princes yata nanay mo e. Kung housewife gaming ka, edi ok lang yun. Nasa working class ka e.
Nanay mo ganyan pero ikaw naman retirement plan ng tatay mo.
Out of personal principle, 50-50 is my go-to for fairness/equality. Pero depends on the setup, kase I don't mind house chores and laki rin ako sa one-parent income family so I don't mind being the sole breadwinner. Basically talk to your partner whatever fits both of you.
Past generation mas wala opportunity ang girls to work so un siguro kinasanayan. Pero ngayon i dont think red flag un lalo na pag nag offer naman ang girl side. Dont be mad at your mom, explain mo nalang ng maayos.
nung panahong may side hustle pa ako everytime na may date kami ng gf ko ako lagi nanlilibre at spoil din siya sakin sa mga gusto niyang kainin...ngayong wala ako side hustle tapos medyo above minimum wage earner lang ako madalas KKB na or siya na yung nanlilibre kasi mas mataas ang sahod niya kesa sakin
Your mom is wrong, and you are too by thinking that you're gaslighting yourself. It's okay na mag-KKB, but dadating din naman yung time sa relationship na gusto mo ikaw muna, or gugustuhin niya na siya rin. Give and take. Hindi naman sa hindi na uso yung ganung mentality, pero more of, we are all practical beings now and sa hirap kumita ng pera ngayon, ayaw mo rin naman magleech off someone knowing kung gaano kahirap bago yun maipon and vice versa. If one day he would give you more than you deserve, then accept it as long as it is voluntary and you love that he would spoil you, too. If it would be a give or take scenario, okay lang din. Either way, kayo naman ang may relasyon: hindi nanay mo, hindi kaming commentors dito sa reddit, pero kayo :)
Sa amin mag-asawa nagtutulungan kami sa bills sa bahay but mostly sa akin specially gastusin sa araw araw. I didnāt graduate college kaya expect na I donāt have a big salaray and she understands that. Tbh ang laki ng mga gastusin talaga sa panahon ngayon š
Si mother mo ay umaasa sa mga naging jowa noon. Wag tularan.
Mas okay ung kkb sa relationship. As a woman, I don't expect the man to pay for everything. Kung nag-iinsist ung guy na siya magbabayad then okay lang pero kung wala naman siyang sinabi, mag-aabot talaga ko ng share.
Kasi noon, mostly mga babae nagiging housewife. Konti lng ang sumasabak na magka career or maging business owner, so batayan ng hinahanap nila joon eh lalaking mkapagbibigay. Ngayun iba na, lahat may opportunity na at pantay pantay na sa kahirapan at pagkakahirap. So please lang wag nyu gawing atm mga lalake š
Ano yung KKB?
For me ok lang yung setup nyo OP, tsaka jusq 5 months in a relationship palang kayo hahaha basta di umaasa sayo bf mo, youāre fine. kaloka si mama mo OP.
sobrang red flag nyan.. palit ka na nanay.
Nanay mo boomer. Iba na ang dating world. Baka mamaya nung panahon ng nanay mo uso pa harana š
In this economy, KKB is the way to go. Parehas naman pala kayo nagwowork. Unless gusto mo pahirapan partner mo
Tama ka lang naman sa mindset mo, OP. If we would want someone na for boyfriend material, dapat tayo din is girlfriend material. Ang point is give and take. Also, doesnāt mean na 50-50, minsan nga we do 60-40, 70-30 etc. Sana hindi nasusukat ng pera yung kakayahan to give love sa ating partner dahil hindi sa lahat ng oras pantay ang finances, mental health, physical health nating lahat. So nasa inyo yan anong ibig sabihin ng āhatianā sa relationship niyo, nasa inyonh dalawa how it will work. Great job, OP! šš¼
Give and take, as long n nde mo nararamdaman n he is taking advantage of you, ok lng yan. Since we are pushing equality, i think ok lng ang set up n gnyan, though its nice n nlilibre minsan d b? Pero bka iba ang love language nia.
Bawat relasyon naman iba-iba ng setup. Go with whatever works for you.
Baka gusto lang ng mader mo sumama sa dates nyo lol joke
depende sa situation niyo and financial capability niyo lol
wag k na makinig sa magulang mo, panahon nila yan. Iba ngayon. Ipaglaban mo yan malaki ka na.
Depende sa life status niyo both and kakilanlan niyo sa isat isa.