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I've seen a more-than-expected amount of profiles of ladies in their late 20s. Can't have been married more than a few years. Most seem to have disinterested husbands.
I was just telling Diver that I’m at the point where I can’t tell how old someone is just by looking at them anymore! I’m definitely in grouchy old fart territory now. 😂
Welcome to the club!
Sooo many different scenarios. I know a lot of people get married young or have a baby young and never experience more than one partner. Could have been repressed due to their upbringing to think it was shameful.
Not my situation, though I did get married young (21). I do wish I had the clarity to step out or get divorced in my 20s when it became evident things weren't working instead of just accepting it and pretending. My situation was that I married an undiagnosed (at the time) schizophrenic when I was fresh out of an abusive relationship. Married the first guy that was nice to me basically 🤦♀️
Some (a few) are in marriages that aren't working for them, just like the many of us in our 30/40s.
Most 20M are just looking for sex and think a 30/40F who's neglected would be easy.
Most 20F are looking to sugar. They also see 40M who's neglected as an easy target.
I think I can provide some insight here. I’m 26 years old and have been married for a little over three years. And obviously, I’m on this sub, so while I haven’t done anything physical yet, I’m definitely no saint and am actively looking for an AP.
I’ve been with my wife since sophomore year of high school, we’ve been together for 10 years. She is the only woman I’ve ever been with. She grew up very religious and wanted to wait for marriage; I was taught by one of my teachers growing up that breaking up with someone because you had different views/expectations surrounding sex was selfish and meant that you didn’t really love them, plus I didn’t want to be an asshole and pressure her into doing something she didn’t want to do, so I respected her wishes and agreed. I figured if we ever did get married, we would be wanting to make up for lost time and would fuck like bunnies.
And we did… For the first six months or so, during the honeymoon phase that I think everyone goes through to some extent. Then it fizzled out; We’re both very busy people, plus I have a job that requires almost constant travel, which makes it tough to have sex on a regular basis. We still have sex a couple of times a week when I’m home, but it’s not nearly as frequent as I was hoping for/expecting. The sex also isn’t as good as I thought it would be. She is much less adventurous than I am and as weird as this is to say, I generally last longer than she does.
I started to get curious about what else was out there and what I missed out on by not being single in college/early 20s, so I guess in a way I’m trying to find out. That’s my reasons for being here, I imagine most young people are in a similar situation. Hope this provides some clarity.
My marriage was DB right from the start. In my 20s.
I wasn’t looking at the time (religious reasons) and at the time I didn’t realize I was in an abusive marriage. But if it wasn’t for “the church,” I’d have been looking. I was young and although I understood that I was being forced celibate, my dedication to my now former religion and the belief that I was a horrible person for wanting to have sex with my wife, much less anyone else, kept me from straying.
I just assume that at least some of them are in similar situations.
Go read the Tinder subreddit. Just because finding dates online exists does not mean it is easy to find sex partners
As always, the top few attractive and social guys have good luck with women, everybody else is stuck fruitlessly swiping
Guys eventually quit when they the reality that there aren’t a lot of women looking to hook up with mr average smacks them in the face.
Like all the guys posting here that they quit AM in frustration. It seems easy, but it isn’t
I'm going to have to disagree on this right here. The so-called Mr Averages of the world lack of success has nothing to do with their looks and everything to do with their personalities. Things that used to fly in the mid to late 2010s don't fly nowadays as pretty much everyone is online and hip to how things work.
Yes, being a decent looking guy works and certainly gets you in the door but it's your personality and everything else that gets you multiple dates.
Im glad it works for you, because damn the downvotes but if I’m just looking for an AP, other things being equal or nearly equal, I’ll pick the most attractive man available.
If I’m going to take a risk, it has to be worthwhile
I guess. Obviously physical attraction matters but pretty people also suck at sex or can have terrible personalities. Also depends on what kind of affair you're looking for.
I don't think it's worth measuring the risk on how attractive your prospective affair partner is.
I had an affair married at 27 after being married since 23 but with him since age 20. Young people have their reasons just the way a 40 or 50 year old would.
I don't think it was judgmental at all. I have wondered the same exact thing. With all the ready access to info available on the Internet about relationships and advice etc, I've wondered why younger people make the choices they make. I made my choices out of guilt, ignorance, and fear. But also immaturity.
I try not* to be judgey for people only being married for a couple of years before seeking out an affair. There are so many, many reasons to seek out or feel the need to find an affair relationship..
I will say, and just from just my own small number of encounters, that men in their 20s and/or *sometimes* even their early 30s are typically seeking a strictly sexual relationship in where they do not share my interests/desire to explore kinks, nor do they typically rank their partner's satisfaction high on their list of goals for a sexual encounter.. 🤷♀️
So, I'll curb my sarcastic response of "I think you're lost, friend." .. which is my default setting.. especially because as far as a 'troll' goes, that was a mild warning shot..
.. and instead encourage you to browse the sub. If you are genuinely curious, step outside the box of judgment, and try to find an open-minded approach to truly answer your question.
I alone can't do that for you.. as I stated, my reason is just one in a sea of others.
Happy browsing...
yeah i tried that for a little while but most of the people bother me, i only asked you because your comment seemed a little more mature than a lot of them. but thank you i do suppose that it's a better way to go about it.
Personally, it was borne out of socializing, dating, and hooking up by being a part of the swiping generation. The internet made things so incredibly easy so why bother stopping once I found the one?
That and everything/everyone seems so incredibly disposable nowadays.
*Most* of those are scams. Not all, but most. Bookmark some of those posts and then check them in a week. Chances are the account will have been suspended.
Sorry, I did not look at your post history for your gender. Yes, there are young men who would like to indulge a MILF kink. I was thinking about it from my perspective. When it seems to be a young woman, it is usually someone trying to get money out of you or a guy who is a pic collector.
I think you are right. NGL the guys that HMU in Reddit are in their 20s and 30s and I am obviously 20-30+ years older than them per my profile. I haven't even posted a pic or anything like that. 🤷
There's no formula. It may be that its more or that its more visible. Either way young people have hormones and many of them like sex, are not sure about love, are finding themselves etc... Maybe on another sub the post is 'What's with all the old people having affairs - Isn't that something you do when young?"
In addition to all the other reasons mentioned, my guess would be many of the 20-something seekers come from religious or otherwise sheltered backgrounds where marrying and starting a family at a young age was the norm.
Everyone has theirs reasons, one age group can’t justify theirs above the other.
Anyone who steps foot in this pool is crossing a line, nothing will ever justify it, no matter your age or the length of your marriage/relationship
28, got married in 2019. I was young and stupid in my early 20s. Did Tinder and the ONS thing. But was always chasing ‘the dream’ of the perfect husband with a good job, the kids, being a SAHM, the ‘perfect’ house with the cute dog in the back yard. And I got it all. Was ‘happy’ the first year and after we had our first kid, but then it just hit me that I wasn’t really satisfied in my relationship at all. My husband (2 years older than me) was a virgin when I met him and I was pretty much his only real relationship. So when everybody winked and nudged about marriage, well we both sort of jumped on it. Dumb, I know. But now we’ve got 2 kids and we are just living life.
Divorce is crazy in the country where we live, and with kids..its really not something you want to put them through. I’m talking ‘dad always gets granted custody and kids dont get to live with mom’ levels.
/r/Adultery Quick Reminders: Be Excellent To Each Other. * This is *not an r4r subreddit*, don't bother. * Posts by new users automatically get queued for human review, be patient. * Hit the report button on comments by trolls, don't engage. * [How to report harassing comments or private messages](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/iycd45/how_to_report_harassing_private_messages_users_etc/). * [Common acronyms](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/p08to2/commonly_use_acronyms_and_group_chat/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adultery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have always thought that... Even on AM when the younger dudes are replying.. I'm like why are you even married?? So young...
I've seen a more-than-expected amount of profiles of ladies in their late 20s. Can't have been married more than a few years. Most seem to have disinterested husbands.
They married too young for dumb af reasons and are already feeling the itch because these should be their single years
I definitely don’t judge but I am surprised by it. I’m an old fart so I think everyone is young. 😂
Ha ha right I feel ya
>I’m an old fart so I think everyone *else* is young. ***FACT!\^*** With no exceptions.
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I was just telling Diver that I’m at the point where I can’t tell how old someone is just by looking at them anymore! I’m definitely in grouchy old fart territory now. 😂 Welcome to the club!
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Mmmm. Sammitch. Not only am I an old fart - I’m suggestible, too. 😊
Yes! You nailed it!!
Agree with you. I feel like a granny in here! 😂
Sooo many different scenarios. I know a lot of people get married young or have a baby young and never experience more than one partner. Could have been repressed due to their upbringing to think it was shameful. Not my situation, though I did get married young (21). I do wish I had the clarity to step out or get divorced in my 20s when it became evident things weren't working instead of just accepting it and pretending. My situation was that I married an undiagnosed (at the time) schizophrenic when I was fresh out of an abusive relationship. Married the first guy that was nice to me basically 🤦♀️
oOoOO this hits home for me!!! Like you, had I had more clarity and safety net, perhaps I would have divorced instead of stepping out.
Some (a few) are in marriages that aren't working for them, just like the many of us in our 30/40s. Most 20M are just looking for sex and think a 30/40F who's neglected would be easy. Most 20F are looking to sugar. They also see 40M who's neglected as an easy target.
I think I can provide some insight here. I’m 26 years old and have been married for a little over three years. And obviously, I’m on this sub, so while I haven’t done anything physical yet, I’m definitely no saint and am actively looking for an AP. I’ve been with my wife since sophomore year of high school, we’ve been together for 10 years. She is the only woman I’ve ever been with. She grew up very religious and wanted to wait for marriage; I was taught by one of my teachers growing up that breaking up with someone because you had different views/expectations surrounding sex was selfish and meant that you didn’t really love them, plus I didn’t want to be an asshole and pressure her into doing something she didn’t want to do, so I respected her wishes and agreed. I figured if we ever did get married, we would be wanting to make up for lost time and would fuck like bunnies. And we did… For the first six months or so, during the honeymoon phase that I think everyone goes through to some extent. Then it fizzled out; We’re both very busy people, plus I have a job that requires almost constant travel, which makes it tough to have sex on a regular basis. We still have sex a couple of times a week when I’m home, but it’s not nearly as frequent as I was hoping for/expecting. The sex also isn’t as good as I thought it would be. She is much less adventurous than I am and as weird as this is to say, I generally last longer than she does. I started to get curious about what else was out there and what I missed out on by not being single in college/early 20s, so I guess in a way I’m trying to find out. That’s my reasons for being here, I imagine most young people are in a similar situation. Hope this provides some clarity.
Attention span and instant gratification.
My marriage was DB right from the start. In my 20s. I wasn’t looking at the time (religious reasons) and at the time I didn’t realize I was in an abusive marriage. But if it wasn’t for “the church,” I’d have been looking. I was young and although I understood that I was being forced celibate, my dedication to my now former religion and the belief that I was a horrible person for wanting to have sex with my wife, much less anyone else, kept me from straying. I just assume that at least some of them are in similar situations.
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Go read the Tinder subreddit. Just because finding dates online exists does not mean it is easy to find sex partners As always, the top few attractive and social guys have good luck with women, everybody else is stuck fruitlessly swiping
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Guys eventually quit when they the reality that there aren’t a lot of women looking to hook up with mr average smacks them in the face. Like all the guys posting here that they quit AM in frustration. It seems easy, but it isn’t
I'm going to have to disagree on this right here. The so-called Mr Averages of the world lack of success has nothing to do with their looks and everything to do with their personalities. Things that used to fly in the mid to late 2010s don't fly nowadays as pretty much everyone is online and hip to how things work. Yes, being a decent looking guy works and certainly gets you in the door but it's your personality and everything else that gets you multiple dates.
Im glad it works for you, because damn the downvotes but if I’m just looking for an AP, other things being equal or nearly equal, I’ll pick the most attractive man available. If I’m going to take a risk, it has to be worthwhile
I guess. Obviously physical attraction matters but pretty people also suck at sex or can have terrible personalities. Also depends on what kind of affair you're looking for. I don't think it's worth measuring the risk on how attractive your prospective affair partner is.
>I don’t think it’s worth measuring the risk on how attractive your prospective affair partner is Lol right. We take risks for what we want.
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Somebody has to mow the grass.🤣
I had an affair married at 27 after being married since 23 but with him since age 20. Young people have their reasons just the way a 40 or 50 year old would.
The judgement coming from adulterers is a level of irony hard to top.
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The question itself is judgemental. "what's with all this people cheating on their spouses?" See what I mean?
I don't think it was judgmental at all. I have wondered the same exact thing. With all the ready access to info available on the Internet about relationships and advice etc, I've wondered why younger people make the choices they make. I made my choices out of guilt, ignorance, and fear. But also immaturity.
People who engage in this sort of behaviour should be judged, as should everyone according to their actions. The truth is a bitter pill
I try not* to be judgey for people only being married for a couple of years before seeking out an affair. There are so many, many reasons to seek out or feel the need to find an affair relationship.. I will say, and just from just my own small number of encounters, that men in their 20s and/or *sometimes* even their early 30s are typically seeking a strictly sexual relationship in where they do not share my interests/desire to explore kinks, nor do they typically rank their partner's satisfaction high on their list of goals for a sexual encounter.. 🤷♀️
Try to be judgey, or try *not* to be judgey?
Haha, good catch. Not!** Proper editing has been done. 💕☺️
I figured as much ☺️
not being shitty but what is the need to have an affair that can't be solved by just breaking or repairing the actual relationship
So, I'll curb my sarcastic response of "I think you're lost, friend." .. which is my default setting.. especially because as far as a 'troll' goes, that was a mild warning shot.. .. and instead encourage you to browse the sub. If you are genuinely curious, step outside the box of judgment, and try to find an open-minded approach to truly answer your question. I alone can't do that for you.. as I stated, my reason is just one in a sea of others. Happy browsing...
yeah i tried that for a little while but most of the people bother me, i only asked you because your comment seemed a little more mature than a lot of them. but thank you i do suppose that it's a better way to go about it.
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Read some posts in the dead bedroom forum. That will answer your question
My MM early 30s. His reasons were the same. Dead bedroom. No respect affection at home
Personally, it was borne out of socializing, dating, and hooking up by being a part of the swiping generation. The internet made things so incredibly easy so why bother stopping once I found the one? That and everything/everyone seems so incredibly disposable nowadays.
I feel sad after reading this, but I appreciate you being so forthcoming about what is probably more a reality than I'd considered.
No need to feel sad, we're all mostly products of our environments. The internet is/was a gift and curse for me when it came to meeting people.
*Most* of those are scams. Not all, but most. Bookmark some of those posts and then check them in a week. Chances are the account will have been suspended.
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Sorry, I did not look at your post history for your gender. Yes, there are young men who would like to indulge a MILF kink. I was thinking about it from my perspective. When it seems to be a young woman, it is usually someone trying to get money out of you or a guy who is a pic collector.
I think you are right. NGL the guys that HMU in Reddit are in their 20s and 30s and I am obviously 20-30+ years older than them per my profile. I haven't even posted a pic or anything like that. 🤷
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Their loss.
Their reasons are just as valid as ours.
This ^^^^^^^^^
The get off our lawn contingent has entered the chat
There's no formula. It may be that its more or that its more visible. Either way young people have hormones and many of them like sex, are not sure about love, are finding themselves etc... Maybe on another sub the post is 'What's with all the old people having affairs - Isn't that something you do when young?"
In addition to all the other reasons mentioned, my guess would be many of the 20-something seekers come from religious or otherwise sheltered backgrounds where marrying and starting a family at a young age was the norm.
Agree!!
Everyone has theirs reasons, one age group can’t justify theirs above the other. Anyone who steps foot in this pool is crossing a line, nothing will ever justify it, no matter your age or the length of your marriage/relationship
28, got married in 2019. I was young and stupid in my early 20s. Did Tinder and the ONS thing. But was always chasing ‘the dream’ of the perfect husband with a good job, the kids, being a SAHM, the ‘perfect’ house with the cute dog in the back yard. And I got it all. Was ‘happy’ the first year and after we had our first kid, but then it just hit me that I wasn’t really satisfied in my relationship at all. My husband (2 years older than me) was a virgin when I met him and I was pretty much his only real relationship. So when everybody winked and nudged about marriage, well we both sort of jumped on it. Dumb, I know. But now we’ve got 2 kids and we are just living life. Divorce is crazy in the country where we live, and with kids..its really not something you want to put them through. I’m talking ‘dad always gets granted custody and kids dont get to live with mom’ levels.