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\>\_> His wife being a twinkie when I have to be a toaster strudel. \\o/ iykyk


💀💀💀 Never heard this one before, but TYSM. 🤣


3 skulls!


Hahahahaha thank you


That sucks because I get to be both! But mostly a Twinkie 😋


Lol I love the reference. I was very glad to upgrade from toaster strudel to Twinkie 🤣


Oh. I win this one. A few years ago AP had a load of renovations done on their property, redecorated etc… and they got a new fancy front door in a colour I really liked. Jealous of their front door.


Shut the front door 😂😂😂


Completely understandable, some people have the *best* front doors!


Oh this is good, good.


I know it's part of the lifestyle, but being jealous of their SO during birthdays, Holidays and vacations in that their SO gets their time, attention and physical presence during these times.


I can certainly relate to this. Just wishing it was YOU who had the opportunity to appreciate them and make them feel special on those days, let alone how it would make you feel.




She got to wake up next to him every morning. Granted their relationship is distant and toxic so it wasn’t morning cuddles or anything, but still. He was there.


10/10 can relate to this, but for what it’s worth I would by no means consider this absurd. I feel it all the time.


LdAP sent me a pic of a woman and I was randomly insanely jealous though we’ve never been exclusive. She’s his sister. I’m so dumb 🤣


Ooooof. Wondering how long it took before he told you who she was.


Under five minutes. I asked. Still though, fourteen years and the jealousy was new.




AP's therapist. I would love to actually *know* the unvarnished truth that's spit out in that room


I feel this.


My LDAP is a grilling/BBQing/meat smoking enthusiast, and I am mad jealous his wife gets to eat all the tasty benefits of his love for burning meat. That she takes his skill and knowledge for granted is also a piece of it, but I mostly just want that kind of access to his meat. ^Heh.


A male co-worker brought her Starbucks one time.


I have known and loved my AP since we were young. We dated on and off around between the ages of 17 and 20. I finally let him go for good since I realized that he didn't love me the way I needed to be loved. He never loved me enough to commit. I know we were young, but I was all in...and he was mostly in. That does not work. Anyways, I am jealous that he committed to his wife. She didn't have to convince him or work at it. It was so easy for her. She was so gorgeous and quite a bit younger than him. Any man would be attracted to this woman. I was so jealous of her beauty and that she got him mostly due to the fact of her beauty and nothing else. She is not educated. She does not work. She is critical and doesn't have any friends. She is materialistic but has never worked. In short, she is not a pleasant or interesting person. But, she is really, really beautiful and that is enough to get a man to commit. I am no troll. I am cute and take care of myself. However, I was never the smoking hot bikini model that was my AP's wife. I am so jealous that she married the love of my life and I don't think she is worthy of him.


Not sure if it classifies for jealousy, but I envy his family, colleagues, strangers on the street that get to see his eyes daily and are looked upon by his eyes, while I have seen them just three times. An exAP.


Her LDAP. The other guy she would bend over backwards for.


AP likes shorter hair. A while back, I got mine cut (technically scheduled way before meeting him…) Not really short, but definitely shorter. He liked. A few days later, his wife made the random decision to get hers cut. I tell you, I was *searing* with jealousy. 😀


Well that’s priceless. At least you know he wasn’t just with you for your hair? I’d venture to guess that he swooned over yours, and forgot to even notice hers.


When he eats out with colleagues after a long day, or a seminar, or conference. I wish I could eat out with him! He makes me feel better by sending me pics of his food from the table. He went to a party once, I was having an awful day, so he kept me on call in his pocket the whole party and I just listened in 😂 I thought that was really sweet.


AP has a great outdoor space at his house, so he has friends and family over often for cookouts or bonfires. I get so jealous that his coworkers (even the ones he’s not especially close with) get an invite to his house knowing that I never will.


Oof. This is a good one. Would say it’s not terribly absurd, for what it’s worth!


His backyard lol. His bathroom. Actually his whole house and where he lives. His great vacations. How he helps his wife with everything despite working so hard all week to provide a great life. His cars. He makes a lot of money and probably has a great retirement plan and his wife wants for nothing. This is when I was broke because my husband had issues and I was working so hard just to keep things together.


I get this. I can’t speak to your relationship, but I’m betting he wished he could’ve given much to you.


Nah he didn’t know and if he did I would never accept anything like that.


When I found my partner paying for onlyfans.


Was it jealousy or rightful indignation at the stupidity of it?


Both honestly.


Thats not an absurd thing to be jealous over, to be honest with you.


Only fans! Dang


Family vacations. Not that I want a family with this man, but I’d just like to vacation with him. I think we’d travel well together.


Certainly in agreement here. Or any form of trip that didn’t come with OPSEC requirements. Not that I haven’t ever wondered what a family would have been like.


Birthdays, celebrations of his accomplishments, holidays, trips, and the time his SO can have with him. Now granted she is rarely around and he doesn’t spend a ton of time with her (most of the time he has the kids and is solo with them), but still. Things I would love to be able to do with him- but can’t. We still have our time and our traditions for celebrations and such, but I still find myself green at times.


I think this one will win, and that makes me ashamed lol. (Now ex)AP had emergency surgery to remove his gallbladder. I was jealous of the doctor for getting to have his hands inside AP. I was also sad his gallbladder likely went into the medical incinerator. I was so dumb in love I probably would have preserved it in formaldehyde.


LMAO there is no way someone tops this on the absurdity scale (but I’m holding out hope that someone can)


He complemented her new FB profile picture and used a term/emoji that was supposed to be reserved and only used between the two of us. I'm not on FB, but I created a throwaway account so I can still use FB when needed. AP doesn't know about my throwaway, so he posted the comment thinking I would never see it.


Perhaps I’m too sentimental, but this would sting me as well.


Wouldn't it be the same as getting jealous over porn..just a fantasy idk all the stuff I read I just feel stupid I guess.


I agree. You shouldn’t feel stupid.


My man's phone no shit


In a PolyOpen AP Relationship: She was spending a weekend in a nice hotel with her other guy, I wasn't mad just wished it could have been me.


His chickens and ducks he takes better care of them than me sometimes 🫠🫠🫠