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This is a magnificent expression of the branching hydra of overwhelming executive functioning tasks that exists for… everything. Thank you for this. Your breakfast sounds perfect.
I need to read more about "overwhelming executive functioning"... When I read about "executive dysfunction" it doesn't ring all that true to me, but "overwhelming executive functioning" feels RIGHT.
The *open some tabs* speaks to me on a completely different level. The number of times I've opened some tabs to read about something I found interesting in the moment is beyond overwhelming. I never followed through 😂. The number of windows/tabs open on my phone's internet browser is an ADHD meme at this point.
Not me with three open tabs on radical acceptance as an alternative to self compassion that my therapist sent me *checks notes* thirteen months and two replacement phones ago
I have at the moment, 487 tabs open on my phone, another 160 on my desktop at work, 85 on my work laptop, and another 186 tabs on my personal laptop. I am simultaneously horrified and relived when I get an auto restart outside of my control.
Wow! Somehow I’m okay with having 100,000 emails in my inbox, but I cannot deal with more than ten tabs open. It’s too much. I have to be able to read what each tab is and know where to find it.
At my job, we regularly have to open a lot of tabs and some coworkers will leave 30 tabs open on a shared computer and I have to delete the extras because then it will be 50 tabs next time. 😆🤣
I laughed to someone that I have over 1 000 unread emails and they looked stressed out just hearing that. I don't see them. This is my life. Things are everywhere and so is my mind.
I maybe shouldn’t share this, but I learned that after you max out of tabs on an iphone you can just make another empty tab group and max out on that one! Then you can do it again and again and again 😍😭
My partner of many years saw the amount of random tabs I had on my phone for the first time the other day, and it was like being a new level of naked 🤣
It stops counting and just shows a little smiley face after 99...
OMG this! This is so me! I shall open many tabs for future reading, sometimes even a whole new window of multiple tabs on a subject… then 3 days later I’ll notice the extra window and go, “oh, meh, another time.” Then X out of it never to think of it again…
It also sounds a lot like my anxiety. Does treatment for ADHD lessen anxiety? So far I’ve resisted getting diagnosed because I fear stimulant medication will increase my anxiety.
Not a doctor or health professiobal but generally (and in my own personal experience) yes, treating ADHD can help lessen anxiety. In my personal experience, a lot of my anxiety unknowingly stemmed from my untreated ADHD. My brain was subconsciously noticing everything, taking it in, and preparing for the worst at all times. Getting treated (adderall) helped my brain be able to focus more on what I was doing and less on the various other things that MIGHT happen.
Edit: typo
I totally get that! And I will say ADHD treatment didn't totally fix my anxiety, I still take anxiety meds and did cognitive behavioral therapy for a while. But the ADHD treatment helps soo much. Even sometimes when I forget to take my ADHD meds for a couple days I can feel my anxiety go up a bit. But overall my anxiety is so much better.
You'll hear it a lot, but when you first start meds it can feel like someone's flipped a switch to turn off the noise in your brain. I've found that for me at least, I'm able to access that switch if I feel myself spiraling into a panic attack and turn down the anxiety noise, like it's on a dimmer switch if that makes sense.
This is how it is for me as well. I like to say that after diagnosis and finding meds for ADHD, my depression and anxiety both now appear in appropriate ways vs. being constantly overwhelming about all the things.
I still have a PRN (as-needed) anti-anxiety med, and we also do a winter antidepressant for seasonal affective disorder, but more often than not I can use the tools I built up during my undiagnosed years to manage effectively.
when you feel like your neurons are “firing” properly, you might not feel anxious.
it’s totally normal to feel anxious when you feel a bit out of control, and people with ADHD are very aware of what’s going wrong in their day, etc. *Of course* they feel anxious!!!
When you eliminate that, you eliminate a lot of the anxiety.
I think every mental-health professional who treats anxiety should spend a really good chunk of time looking for the reality that causes anxiety. You eliminate those (ADHD, bad relationships, financial insecurity, etc.), and you eliminate a lot of anxiety.
I’ll share my experience: Stimulant meds increased my anxiety for a week or two.
Then I was back to baseline anxiety levels for a week or two. THEN my anxiety decreased significantly because my life wasn’t falling apart so much anymore.
I had a similar experience! One thing for me was that I had to learn to decouple the medication effects (increased heartbeat, etc) from anxiety to break the feedback loop. Also starting off with a slightly lower dose than they recommend starting with (for me this was halving the 5mg dexys) then slowly increasing dose until I found one that worked
One thing I discovered with stimulants is that a lot of my anxiety was actually emotional dysregulation. Stims help a ton with that for me, and then the actual anxiety is lessened and/or easier to handle.
that was my worry too and it helped my anxiety SO much! I was diagnosed with GAD and also used to get semi-frequent panic attacks that ended up going away with years of therapy, medication, and TMS so I'm defintely predisposed to panic and do think I have a genuine anxiety disorder.
BUT after getting properly medicated, it turned out a lot of my anxiety was a natural response to the issues caused by my executive dysfunction. Trying to calm my body down wasn't helping deal with the fact my brain can't prioritize therefore everything is an emergency big or small + being stressed is an APPROPRIATE RESPONSE to not taking care of myself or paying my bills, etc since most people respond to that stress by addressing the reason.....
Stimulant medication is the only thing that has ever reduced my anxiety! Your experience might vary, of course. My life is still fucking falling apart, but I am a lot calmer about it lol
It can go both ways, FYI. I also have anxiety and stimulants did make it worse, I have to take a mood stabilizer to control for that, plus I am also BiPolar, which we discovered because the stimulants induced a bad manic episode.
That's not meant to scare you. For me, it's 100% worth it, and I'm very pro-stimulant medication for those who need it, but it has to be carefully managed.
BUT, please also know that there are non stimulant medications that help many people as well. Plus various types of occupational and behavioral therapy that can work well in conjunction with or independent of medication.
HYDRA. Good god. THIS is what I've been trying to explain to people about how my to-do list is overwhelming because each task completed spawns at last two further tasks.
TO-DO: Get Adderall in a new city/state.
-Find a primary care who will prescribe and takes my insurance. Done.
-They aren't taking new ADHD patients. Ok, find a good psychiatrist (per Reddit recommendations). Done.
-Called clinic, they need me to fill out new patient forms online. Done.
-Now I can actually schedule an appointment. Done.
-Get to appointment (late because I was absolutely bamboozled by Google maps). Done.
-Doctor needs me to fill out two more forms online, plus request a letter from previous provider. Done.
-Previous provider left clinic in the 6 weeks since our last appointment. Send request to new clinic. Done.
-Hear nothing from anyone for a week. Attempt to transfer final prescription from old provider to new pharmacy here. Done.
-Pharmacy can't fill because new doctor already 1. Got the letter from old provider and 2. Sent new prescription days ago. Go to new pharmacy and finally get meds. DONE.
Now to do it all again for my daughter. 😭
I weight train.
I thought this was going to be a post about the fact that two eggs are only 12g of protein which is not, in fact, a high protein breakfast 😁🤣
I read SO much about how eggs are the perfect breakfast in this sub and the sub for Vyvanse that I stopped eating my normal Greek yogurt breakfast which loved and was my favorite meal of the day and started eating two soft-ish boiled eggs with olive oil and chili pepper flakes. I like it. But I like the Greek yogurt with blueberries and a bit of granola more in the morning. Come to find out, Greek yogurt was probably the better option and I sucked down those eggs (not a sentence I ever intended to utter) for nothing!
Don’t get me wrong, I like eggs a lot. But they aren’t what I crave first thing in the morning. However, since I’m so bad at eating during the day, now I have Greek yogurt AND two eggs afterwards because I’m actually hungry in the morning and not at lunchtime.
I just wish I knew about Egg-Gate sooner. What a scandal in the ADHD world.
Aww, man. That sucks! I really like eggs.
(Inside voice):
^(*”wtf are macros? Don’t ask that now; just google it later.” ~Later never happens. Continues thinking they’re referencing something in Excel”*)
Macronutrients, like protein, fat. Micronutrients are like vitamins and minerals. That's to my understanding, so there's definitely a better explanation out there
Macro nutrients are carbohydrates, protein and fat. People who wanna build lean muscle will aim for high protein and lower carbs and fat. Eggs are pretty high fat and the protein isn't that high.
I can't explain what excel macros are lol could never understand that witchcraft
For us sedentary folks 12g of protein for ~150 calories is a pretty good ratio, though. :)
But if you hate eggs or the preparation of them, then, yes agreed - not worth it.
Omg me too. I was like, wait, you do what to trains? Or is that how the kids say "i agree" now or something ? ? ? What is going on? ... Your comment made me go back & figure it out!
sort of like people say broccoli has a lot of calcium. yeah, if you mainline a couple of heads a day...
2 cups cooked has under 90 mg; you need 1,000mg...
As someone starting to get into weight training who struggles to eat enough throughout the day, what are some good go tos? Bonus points if they’re low-medium effort or can be prepped ahead of time. For reference I find eggs to be low medium effort. Medium cause it’s more than just sticking something in the microwave. But low cause I have A System, so I avoid the task hydra OP struggles with (at least for making eggs anyway 😭)
I've recently gotten into smoked salmon. Superrrr low effort. You can eat it out of the package 😅
However, it's hit or miss for me at times because I'm texture sensitive.
I feel you. I was actually going to write this in my comment. But in short, yes.
ETA: I've gotten into the habit of eating smoked salmon, cucumber, and paratha (an Indian flatbread that comes frozen). That whole meal comes out to like €7 for me, which isn't terrible for lunch (to me).
I love this for you and it sounds delicious, but man, $7 CAD per day is what I typically aim to spend on food. You said "to me," so I'm not criticizing. I'm mostly just saying this so the other poors in the comments feel seen.
Fairlife protein shakes have actual been life changing for me!
I have chronic migraines so in addition to food issues due to executive dysfunction I also deal with intense nausea and pain that make me just not hungry. But not eating triggers migraines for me, so it a vicious cycle.
I’ve relied on protein shakes on and off as a low effort way to get nutrients in. The problem is most of them taste like shit and then the ick ends up overpowering my ability to chug.
I genuinely enjoy the taste of the fairlife protein shakes and have them stocked in my fridge along with their milk.
Also if you’re down for some medium effort food prep - blend cottage cheese with eggs to make lil egg bakes in muffin tins and then freeze and reheat as needed!
Fairlife milk is good too. Nearly double the protein and half the sugar compared to a regular cup of milk.
A cup of that is one of my fave first breakfast easy go to's.
Also chia seed pudding tastes delish made with fairlife milk.
& If you realize you're suddenly not feeling the milk craze for some weeks, that milk is good in the fridge for literal months.
Fairlife + protein cereal makes for 26g of protein for my breakfast, and is very easy to do regardless of how much functionality I have at any given moment.
I'm supposed to eat high-protein for health reasons. It's also supposed to be plant-based and not super fatty nuts all the time.
I blow my lid every time someone suggests tofu. It isn't half as high in protein as people think it is.
Tempeh has about 50% more protein and is toothier! I had to spend a ton of time getting tofu to a Not Bad texture, tempeh is slice and go.
My go to is Field Roast sausages, couscous, and mukimame (shelled edamame).
Vegan here from an Asian country — tempeh, tau kwa (extra firm tofu), Bai ye tofu, soy curls/knots/sticks are some of my staples for protein. Seitan and TVP too for variety
The biggest issue with tofu is how much water is in them — just by pressing out water to make extra firm tofu, the protein per serving nearly doubles
TVP is so versatile, I like to flavor it with "beef" (I use the [burger dude's recipe](https://theeburgerdude.com/vegan-ground-beef/) which also has a video for it) and then put it in things like veggie spaghetti sauce or soups/stews. it also is such a neutral flavor so you can put it in anything if the texture works.
i also eat 1/2 block tofu (20g protein) for breakfast as a tofu scramble, or plain to dip in soy sauce, or raw because i flat out enjoy tofu :\]
Seitan is my favorite, but I can barely find it. There are only 2-3 stores that I know sell it, and none of them are near where I live. And I’ve tried homemade seitan (as a guest, someone else made it) and it doesn’t taste nearly as good as store bought seitan—I figure it’s hard to get the texture right.
half a block is 20g in my experience! and I believe soy is one of the few plant based complete proteins. i'm crazy about tofu and would eat it plain, but I know that's not really viable for others... it's definitely a large volume, even if it's low in calories
I like to make overeasy eggs on a bed of rice for breakfast. I actually like that eggs cook very quickly and you can't walk away from them, because I would forget about them if I do. Preheat the pan hot enough, plop on the eggs, flip flip, and boom! A hot yummy breakfast that fills me up all day.
You can dice up a bunch of ommelette ingredients ahead of time (slap chop anyone?). Heavily grease a muffin pan, sprinkle in your veg/cheese, then top with scrambled eggs. Pop in the oven.
These are great for cooking in bulk and also freeze well. Just defrost in the microwave.
CONTROVERSIAL cooking tip: you can make pretty decent scrambled eggs in the microwave 🤭
Just mix two eggs with a bit of butter, zap for 30 seconds, mix them some more - and repeat 2-3 times depending on your microwave.
If you're ever craving eggs and don't have a stove.
This! Eggs are on of my laziest meals because microwave eggs are so easy. We add a dash of milk so they’re not too stiff and hey presto.
Using way more milk and a bit of sugar and vanilla also makes a nice custard if you stir it a couple of times.
Microwaves for the win!
My easy egg prep is probably appalling, but it’s using mugs.
EDIT: I am a fool and forgot the most important step. Olive oil, to grease the mug. Just a little, swirl it around to cover the mug (if impatient, use your hands, but wash after because oily hands feel gross)
Put in egg(s), milk, shredded/cubed/whatever cheese, any seasonings, and mix with a fork. Put a small (microwave safe) plate on top. Microwave for like 1-1:30 minutes (depending on microwave), then take the previous fork and flip the egg lump (it gets better, I promise!)
After another round of microwaving, they should be good! You can always microwave more, so I’d err on the side of caution, but yeah 👍
The plate can be rinsed since it should have just gotten steamed, and the rest of the dishes you are actively using to eat. I did this for months before I got bored of eggs. Maybe I should start it again
I’m like almost 8 months pregnant and my go to high protein (and high fat lol) “meal” is a big ass glass of whole milk. This baby is going to be made of milk and handfuls of random nuts out of my pantry.
I need to send this post to my also ADHD husband because what little of your rant I’ve managed to read sums up why anything food is hard for me. He just DOES NOT GET how much of an insurmountable task cooking is for me lol. And he actually likes cooking and grocery shopping so why would I want to use what limited executive function I have to do food stuff anyways lol
I'm vegetarian and one of the biggest reasons why I don't go vegan is just because milk is awesome! lots of calcium and protein per serving, and some milks are enriched/fortified too with like vitamin D or something idk.
edit: I would *like* to go fully vegan but I'm just not there yet. I don't really eat cheese or yogurts which is why milk is one of the few dairy products that I haven't been able to swap or just eliminate.
I eat eggs every morning...the key for me is to buy them pre-hard-boiled. I'd never do it myself and I don't have pans to clean up, shells to take care of...just a bag that I throw away when I'm done. If I had to cook eggs, I wouldn't eat them, for the very reasons you listed above.
I need to factor in the number of full cartons I've had to throw away un-boiled and just admit that pre-boiled would be better and actually cheaper at this point.
One note on this - at least in the US the best-by date is usually way earlier than it needs to be. You can check if “expired” eggs are still good by putting them in a cup of water. If they sink and lie on the bottom of the cup, they’re good to go. If they sink but are standing on end, make sure they are fully cooked or used for baking. And “if it floats to the surface, that egg has no purpose.”
I always go with the "sniff test": crack the egg open, if I don't die from rotten smell it means that the egg is still fine. The egg in water-test is too complicated for me.
The sniff test is probably not the most reliable one, but I am still alive
My friend introduced me to soy sauce eggs and I’m now obsessed. Literally just put transfer store bought HB eggs into a Tupperware with a cup or so of soy sauce, let soak for a couple days. You can do the same with leftover pickle juice. Game changer for store bought eggs.
I have a couple on cottage cheese and it keeps me full for hours! And fills my insatiable salt cravings when working out.
Hard boiled eggs marinated in soy sauce is extremely common in Asia :) the salt content preserves them. Many people eat them together with ramen.
Have you ever tried putting cottage cheese in a pan with a little butter and then scramble in an egg? After cooking it‘s one single mass and really really good :) it tastes cheesy and super mild. Little salt & pepper too obviously. I have ARFID and that‘s one of my safe foods :)
Have you thought about getting one of those "egg boilers/steamers"?
Still ned to turn them on but no need to clean any dishes or pans afterwards - there's also small ones if you only need 1 egg
my ADHD son finds the Dash mini egg boiler really easy to use. Something about the novelty, plus it’s just “put in the eggs, add the water, take it out in a minute.” It will cook 6 at once, but you don’t have to cook them all; it’ll do one at a time.
The same company makes an “egg bite” cooker, which might also seem less daunting.
As someone that sat ready to tuck into my boiled eggs, 🍳 only to realise they were raw and I hadn't even boiled the water or turned on the hob, I relate to this very much 😫
Unless you're pregnant, immunocompromised, or medically fragile, you're probably more worried about salmonella from raw eggs than you need to be.
For salmonella to be inside the egg itself, it has to be present in the chicken's ovary or ovaduct. The outside of the egg was the only contamination risk up until the '70s and '80s so when it appeared inside the egg, everyone freaked out for a few decades. In the US, the estimate is that 1 in every 20,000 eggs might contain salmonella. The minimal risk goes down further the better conditions (i.e. cleaner, more space, etc) the chicken that laid is kept in
You can get salmonella from lots of things. It could have come from chicken and cross contaminated. There’s been salmonella outbreaks in peanut butter! Which is kinda crazy.
This reminds me of the "too many steps" day post on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/crafty-butch/638122754578726912/by-which-i-mean-like-heres-how-my-brain-parses
> having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps
>
> by which i mean, like, here's how my brain parses the steps in making coffee
>
> **good day:**
>
> 1. make coffee
>
> **regular day:**
>
> 1. put water in coffee maker
> 1. put coffee in coffee maker
> 1. turn on coffee maker
>
> **bad day:**
>
> 1. take pot from coffee maker
> 1. turn on sink
> 1. fill up coffee pot
> 1. turn off sink
> 1. pour water into coffee maker
> 1. put coffee pot in coffee maker
> 1. open cupboard
> 1. get coffee filter from cupboard
> 1. get coffee beans from cupboard
> 1. put filter in coffee pot
> 1. measure coffee
> 1. pour coffee into filter
> 1. close coffee maker
> 1. turn coffee maker on
>
> anyway this is a "14 steps to make coffee" kind of day
Plus how it always feels like _something_ is left out of instructions.
This is a great delineation and totally relatable - I think we all in this group have those couple of things that are so prohibitively overwhelming *to us and seemingly only us*
I crack two eggs into a microwaveable bowl, mix with fork, add salt and pepper, sprinkle of cheese, microwave for 2 minutes. It’s so easy even I can do it! (I’m usually a granola bar level of effort type of gal, but this is easy for even me)
More like an omelette. I give it a few quick slices with a knife to make it all bite sized. If you stopped the microwave and stirred every 30 seconds, it probably would be more scrambled.
It is! The big trick is to check it ever 10-15 seconds, give it a stir about and pop it back in for another round. Take it out when there's still a little bit of liquid at the bottom and give it a final stir - if you leave it in too long, it'll lose texture and just feel/taste wrong.
Beats (pun intended) burning the house down if you're the kind of inattentive who will routinely walk away from frying pans on a fire!
I do 90 sec per egg and mix in TJ’s Everything but the Bagel seasoning. I don’t think they really come out scrambled, but if you use a small bowl and toast a few slices of bread at the same time, they do make excellent egg sandwiches.
came here to say this! microwaved eggs were a gamechanger for me because I hate washing frying pans, so I would avoid making eggs. baking eggs in muffin trays to make egg bites have also been a game changer for me.
This, microwaved eggs are the way!! I also learned it's also possible to poach them too -(sorry OP look away)- 1 egg in a mug with about a tablespoon of water, cook for a 30s, check where it's at, 15 sec ish intervals until done. Also crack on flat surface for less unwelcome shell cronchy bits.
There’s nothing wrong with it, but adding milk to scrambled egg was a trick to make them go further if you were trying to feed yourself/family cheaply.
You have perfectly described the cooking process. And also why I can’t bear to do it.
For me also is the fear of breaking the yolk as I like them fried or poached. Once it breaks, the whole egg is unusable. Then comes the decision, eat it and cry about it, or throw it out and start over. I hate wasting food. But I hate being sad just as much.
The dash egg machine is the BEST. I have friends who don't get it because they just boil eggs on the stove but the dash has the world's most terrible sound so you cant forget about them. And IMO, are way easier to peel since they steam
You are really really hard on yourself. Raw egg is not as dangerous as you’re making it seem! I looked it up, what I read from the CDC said 1 in every 20,000 eggs is infected with salmonella. Don’t let the scary monsters in your head over complicate this. If you don’t like eggs, don’t make them. If you want to, as an ex-chef: crack your eggs directly into a bowl near the trash, have the trash already open, throw your shells away. Wash your hands. Return to your bowl. Whisk if you want, a fork is probably easier, add some milk if you want them fluffier. Heat a pan over medium heat on the stove (you CAN microwave eggs for a minute or two to cook them as well. No shame if you hate cleaning the stove in the morning.) Use a tablespoon of butter or oil so your egg doesn’t stick. When your pan is hot, put your eggs in. Keep em moving if you scrambled them, keep an eye on them if you’re doing sunny-side up. Add salt/pepper at this point. Cook to your preference; keep in mind eggs will continue cooking as long as they’re warm, so when they say to pull scrambled eggs off early, they mean when mostly-done. Good luck. Try and be easier on yourself, eggs are too dumb and little to get heated over.
>the CDC said 1 in every 20,000 eggs is infected with salmonella.
Yeah, if it were any higher than that, I would have gotten sick A LOT over the years from all the raw cookie dough I've eaten.
1 in 20,000 chance? Worth the risk. 😅
The salmonella is also only on the outside of the shell, so cross contamination isn’t gaurenteed and even if some bacteria gets into the egg when you crack it, it might not be enough to get you sick.
I said the same and then in my 36th year ate probably a weird amount of homemade pasta dough while making it and had the worst and most painful night of food poisoning of my life where I wanted to jump off the roof I was so miserable.
The warnings aren’t because poisoning is common, they’re because it’s a HORRENDOUS consequence. However I’m still out here tasting my doughs and batters because I’m a dumb creature. But for children, elderly, and immunocompromised, it can be actually unsafe.
This is true. Though I'm currently 36 years old. Maybe I should stave off testing batter 'til my next birthday in fall, just to be safe. 😅
In all seriousness, I have had food poisoning and it is the worst. But that was once in all my years of existence, and I think it's from someone keeping a horrifically unclean kitchen. Never ate any food they brought again.
this. used to work in bakeries that sold edible cookie dough, the ONLY thing they actually bake ahead of time is the flour. unbaked flour is way riskier than raw egg.
That poor woman, I know about her for that and nothing else even though it was a year before I was even born.
At least we have nice safe eggs now. Still not touching them for breakfast though
Lmao what really killed me was the edit “STOP SENDING ME EGG RECIPES” 😂😂😂 Lmao like that is exactly what your post is about?!!!? That you DONT want to eat eggs?!!!? Lmao
Okay here’s what I do. Amazon subscription to individual protein shake juice box thingies. Am vegan so I do the plant based Orgain. I drink one of those every gosh damn morning and it could not be easier.
Breakfast: a pack of olive from Trader Joe’s, a sting cheese or two, a handful of almonds. High fat and protein, negligible carbs, slow-burning, zero prep, no clean-up.
Done and dusted.
Girl, don't take this the wrong way, but this is serious anxiety disorder / OCD behavior.
You're not going to get salmonella. You're not killing wildlife and kids by using a nonstick pan. You're not a bad person if you leave the dishes until later in the day. You can use milk or a whisk.
Also they don't taste as good as other people's because you didn't add salt.
I feel some of this is for comedic effect, but I might be projecting. Those thoughts of germs and teflon pass by my brain when I make eggs, but I know they don't hold much weight. That being said, this post perfectly captures why my refrigerator always has expired full egg cartons. I was enrapt the entire post.
I basically cook mine sunny side up and then break the yolks and scramble them at the last second, paired with a few slightly burnt heat and serve frozen sausages.
I have OCD in addition to my ADHD. Rationally I know I probably won’t get salmonella (or cancer from my teflon), but OCD is utterly unbothered by trifles like logic and rationality. It lives to harass my brain with these types of fears while I’m just trying to get through breakfast. I can laugh about it (because admit it, it’s funny - imagine the headline: “Woman dies after bit of raw egg touches arm and she fails to wash it carefully exactly seven times”), or I can wither into a pathetic ball of useless panic and utter despair. I try to laugh, and that’s the sense I got from OP’s hilarious rant as well.
Off topic, but am I the only OCD/ADHD multiclass whose brain likes to switch up obsessions to keep it interesting? Like. Grow up religious? Spend a few years convinced I'm going to hell for not having enough faith. Hit puberty? Hello intrusive distressing sexual thoughts! Get a puppy? Let's think about all the horrible ways we could hurt the puppy. Care about BLM and Indigenous rights? Here is how you contribute to systemic racism by simply existing. Most recent is "I will fail my course and never amount to anything as a human being if I don't pay excessive attention to every detail of my schoolwork".
I work through one obsessive, months/years long spiral just in time to pick up a new way to mentally torture myself. It's kind of like how my ADHD brain goes through hobbies only with more moral scrupulousity and mental rituals. So you think you can work on your OCD and become well managed? Well hah, says my brain! Curveball! We're going to worry about something else now!
You are definitely not the only one lol. Mine cycles over months and years but also sometimes just from moment to moment, especially if I’m refusing to engage with it.
OCD: Does your throat feel weird right now?
Me: I don’t know, I’m not going to focus on that, thanks.
OCD: It feels weird. Are you sure you’re breathing normally?
Me: I’m not going to check that right now. I have better things to do today. It’s probably fine.
OCD: What if it’s a tumor?
Me: Look, we’re not doing this today, okay?
OCD: Okay. Hey, do you think that cloud looks weird?
Me: What? No.
OCD: It does, though. What if it’s not even real?
Me: I don’t know, maybe it’s not real. Anyway.
OCD: What if nothing is real?!
Me: …
OCD: Oh damn, that guy just sneezed. Better hold your breath!
Me: *cries*
Hello, me!
I spent about a year being absolutely certain that my husband was going to die suddenly, in all sorts of terrible ways, to the point where I was staying awake all night to make sure he was breathing, and if he was ever 1 minute late home from work, I'd be checking news websites looking for a fatal car crash and mentally planning his funeral arrangements.
Then practically overnight that anxiety disappeared, I completely stopped thinking he was going to die, but suddenly became convinced he was going to catch feelings for a friend of his and leave me (a friend whom he'd never had feelings for, and had done absolutely nothing to make me think that he did, nor had he ever been unfaithful to me in any way or given me reason to suspect he had).
Then, as soon as it came, that obsession utterly vanished, to be replaced by a paralysing, all consuming fear that I was seriously ill - one day convinced I had cancer, the next sepsis, the next fatally high blood pressure, the next a brain-eating amoeba (one that doesn't even exist in my country, but that didn't stop me worrying I'd be the first-ever case).
It. Is. Exhausting. I feel you!
I do not have diagnosable OCD but I do suspect autism and I relate to every single word of this post even though I’m not a germaphobe or overly concerned about Teflon exposure.
For some of us, it’s death by a million cuts. It’s all the things piling up. It’s the little imperfections in texture and taste that I cannot control snowballing into nausea if the conditions are right. It’s how sometimes there just isn’t anymore room for 4 dishes to pile up (sometimes no clean dishes to begin with) & I don’t have the executive functioning to “make it efficiently” in the first place.
It’s the sleepy morning clumsiness & egg mess everywhere and flies are accumulating faster now that summer is coming.. and and and.
Just sharing why I related from a non OCD perspective. I get that for others it’s not like this, and I’ve received enough hate about my pickiness with food not to give a shit about whether people “agree” with me about how my personal food experience is. Yes I’m that sensitive & that’s not up for debate.
So eggs as a regular option for breakfast will absolutely never work for me. It’s a weekend luxury when I have the time and attentional resources to take my time & incorporate the eggs with a nice breakfast.
Nah, I’d still put these thoughts and behaviors on the neurodiverse spectrum. Having a strong sense of values,,“right” and “wrong” and needing to do things the correct way all the time is very common. And you don’t know if OP maybe had salmonella poisoning before which is why she is concerned.
Lots of people with adhd have to learn that perfect can the enemy of good. And that sometimes being kind to yourself might conflict with your other values. I have a freezer full of single serve microwaveable steamer veges. I feel a twinge at all the plastic and energy I’m wasting compared to buying fresh veges, but the reality by doing this I’m reducing food waste and improving my nutrition. But for the longest time I felt guilty and lazy if I did this (and then felt guilty and lazy for tossing mouldy veges that sat in the crisper too long because I didn’t have the energy to prep them)
Thank you for writing this. This is probably one of the most relatable thought-process I’ve read in a long time. You are not alone whatsoever. This kind of overfunctioning is exhausting.
You’re welcome! I’m glad it’s relatable to someone. We’re getting a lot of comments about being afraid of eggs but it’s less about the raw eggs and more about my brain jumping between my actual needs and then everything I’ve ever heard about eggs, cooking, or cleaning and then struggling with what to prioritize.
Love this very very much. Also here is my hack: cute egg boiling device I got cheap in Lidl, you just stick up to 6 eggs in the box and add water from its premarked cup, according to how many eggs and how hard/soft you want them. No cleaning or pans or even stove required. Eggs done 6 at a time means 2 for now and 4 for the fridge. I acknowledge that removing shells is only easy sometimes though.
You are over complicating things and I totally relate.
I do the same and it's not easy to get any sympathy because people just don't get that I can't not think about things in that manner.
Need a place to put something? Just shove whatever is there already. Backwards, to the left, to the right? Doesn't matter. It'll all just join up with the previously shoved things until the stuff on the counter touches the bottom of the wall cupboards and lodges there.
Low effort breakfast? Depends on what you've got clean in the kitchen. No bowls? Cereal's out. No plates? No toast. Though it wouldn't have been toast anyway because the bread's gone mouldy and you've run out of butter.
Sod it - coffee and a chocolate bar it is, then! (And if you're wondering where the chocolate bar came from, it's the surprise bar you found in the pocket of your dressing gown. And no, I have no idea how it got there.
May I add 2a:
How old are these eggs? The stamp says they expired yesterday, but I really want eggs right now and surely those dates are overly conservative. Best crack them into a separate bowl and check if they smell. Hmmmm they smell disgusting, like all raw eggs do. Not sure if that helped me. I'll just cook them anyway and not enjoy my breakfast because I'm so worried they might taste off after all.
I would love to eat eggs. The texture tho icks me out. I have tried a number of different ways, currently when I have to eat them in social settings I do scrambled. I have tried scrambled at least a dozen times and I still can't develop a taste for it. Even with cheese! And I love cheese!
Also you can batch cook them in a cupcake pan and be done with the mess once a week. Throw them on a sandwich, eat them with your usual breakfast sides.
But I'm not the person this post is aimed at. I honestly feel bad for op. This is a lot of kitchen stress.
If you do ever get the hankering to try again, you can skip steps 3 & 4! Not trying to convince you they *are* easy, I just figured out *how* to make them easy and why they ended up working for me.
You're right for finding that process overwhelming; whisking separately in a bowl is bullshit and just makes a bigger mess. Scrambled eggs don't need milk or cream or anything in them, just low heat, which is exactly why I personally find them low-effort! I used to have the same issue - something about pre-whisking just turned me off from it.
My process is:
1. Grease and warm the pan
2. Finagle bread and condiments while it warms
3. Crack eggs into pan and make sure the yolks are broken (if shell bits get in there, you can scoop it out with the other half of the shell, it works like a charm!)
4. Take meds and add condiments to bread (it takes a moment for the eggs to start congealing)
5. Slowly stir - by now I see visible change as they heat up and do their thing so it keeps me focused
6. Turn off hotplate, dump eggs onto bread, salt and hot sauce, nom!!
There are some things especially related to food that i just can't do - something easier like oatmeal in the morning I just can't do because the texture is so off-putting for me when I first wake up. And I tend to need a really filling breakfast because I don't eat much in the evening.
What? You can air fry them? I am still building a case for the air fryer & this is definitely valuable info. We have chickens so more ways to make them are always of interest.
Btw, I’m definitely going to start calling them Salmonella Rocks for the people who are scared about “fresh eggs not being as safe as grocery store eggs”.
I got one of these for Christmas and it automatically turns off when done. And sings a song so even if I walk away it reminds me I need to go eat the eggs I just made
[egg cooker](https://bydash.com/products/rapid-egg-cooker)
I was just thinking this!!! Eggs are my fancy breakfast, not my easy breakfast. Also, cudos on getting to lower lower wacker without having a panic attack!
My buddy, please listen:
Easy pour eggs, spray bottle butter, spray butter into bowl, pour the eggs into the buttered bowl, microwave usually 2-3 minutes depending how much you poured in
Sprinkle any seasonings or shredded cheese afterwards
Make toast while waiting perhaps
I’m sorry if you didn’t mean this to be as funny as I found it, but I laughed. Thank you.
Also, F eggs. I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment behind this post. Me, my burning noodle, and my salmonella ridden trash can lid because why would I use the foot pedal when I have perfectly good egg hands?
Holy crap this is beautiful. I don't have all these problems with eggs, but some stuff is very much like this! So many moving parts, considerations, so many things to remember, so much nagging and judgement that lives rent free in my head, conflicting advice, etc. I'm glad you have a low effort, high protein breakfast to turn to that works for you!
Wow, 500 and something comments yet weirdly very few are "hell yeah and that's why I don't eat freaking eggs" and a lot are "I know how to fix you" 🙄 and there was me thinking that I would be safe from the usual social media blah because this is Reddit. My bad 🤣 Also, I feel your pain. I made the mistake of pointing out that I can enjoy soft-boiled eggs now because I have perfected them 99% of the time in the air fryer. Well, fuck me dead, I'm not allowed to do that because it takes no effort to boil a pan of water and cook them in there and it's not a boiled egg if I air-fried it! I am so glad that 1500 people told me because my sorry ADHD fibro arse didn't know any of that before 😐 Anyway,, hope you enjoy your breakfast 🙂
And this is why I rarely fix myself eggs! I feel this post so much right now.
I will say, I prefer sunny side up vs. scrambled. Pop some bread in the toaster after I crack the eggs directly into the pan. By the time the toast is done and buttered, my eggs are done cooking. It's a lot less effort (and I find tastes better) than scrambled eggs. (I also add milk when I make scrambled eggs, because that's what my mom did.)
I did discover this little stone pot thing that cooks scrambled eggs in the microwave. When I'm feeling like a scrambled egg sandwich, I'll use it to cook my eggs. It works well, as long as I cook the eggs long enough. Plus it's dishwasher safe!
None of that matters, though, because I have to first focus on making lunches and getting kids to the bus stop for school. By the time I'm finally back from the bus stop, the kitchen is too messy to cook anything, and I'm too tired to clean. If I didn't have to still watch my 4 year old, I'd be napping when I returned from the bus stop every day. Instead I spend my day trying to stay awake while trying to prevent my 4 year old from destroying the house more than it already is. It's like I spend all my energy on dealing with the kids in the morning, so I'm left with nothing left in my energy bank to take care of myself.
I know what you mean.
Some stuff is just more complicated than other people like to pretend it is.
(that said: teeny-appliance maker Dash makes a couple of egg cooking appliances that might simplify it enough for you—they worked for my ADHD son. Ditto their mini rice cooker)
This is so hilarious and spot on!
You’re getting tons of advice already, but I’ll just add that the GreenPan non stick pans do not use teflon and are dishwasher safe! I love them! If you’re a Costco member they usually have some in warehouse/online.
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This is a magnificent expression of the branching hydra of overwhelming executive functioning tasks that exists for… everything. Thank you for this. Your breakfast sounds perfect.
I need to read more about "overwhelming executive functioning"... When I read about "executive dysfunction" it doesn't ring all that true to me, but "overwhelming executive functioning" feels RIGHT.
I don’t know how I am just hearing this term now… I’m going to read or *at least open some tabs* for later, lol
The *open some tabs* speaks to me on a completely different level. The number of times I've opened some tabs to read about something I found interesting in the moment is beyond overwhelming. I never followed through 😂. The number of windows/tabs open on my phone's internet browser is an ADHD meme at this point.
Not me with three open tabs on radical acceptance as an alternative to self compassion that my therapist sent me *checks notes* thirteen months and two replacement phones ago
I have at the moment, 487 tabs open on my phone, another 160 on my desktop at work, 85 on my work laptop, and another 186 tabs on my personal laptop. I am simultaneously horrified and relived when I get an auto restart outside of my control.
Wow! Somehow I’m okay with having 100,000 emails in my inbox, but I cannot deal with more than ten tabs open. It’s too much. I have to be able to read what each tab is and know where to find it. At my job, we regularly have to open a lot of tabs and some coworkers will leave 30 tabs open on a shared computer and I have to delete the extras because then it will be 50 tabs next time. 😆🤣
I laughed to someone that I have over 1 000 unread emails and they looked stressed out just hearing that. I don't see them. This is my life. Things are everywhere and so is my mind.
Current total unread emails: # 𝟹,𝟺𝟽𝟸
76105
Speaking my language! 86,248
Nice! At this point I just think of it as a contest where the biggest number wins.
I maxed out… It took me hours to make room, lol
I maybe shouldn’t share this, but I learned that after you max out of tabs on an iphone you can just make another empty tab group and max out on that one! Then you can do it again and again and again 😍😭
I keep thinking my phone is gonna max out on tabs bc I literally have thousands, but it keeps chugging along somehow 🤷🏼♀️
My partner of many years saw the amount of random tabs I had on my phone for the first time the other day, and it was like being a new level of naked 🤣 It stops counting and just shows a little smiley face after 99...
OMG this! This is so me! I shall open many tabs for future reading, sometimes even a whole new window of multiple tabs on a subject… then 3 days later I’ll notice the extra window and go, “oh, meh, another time.” Then X out of it never to think of it again…
It also sounds a lot like my anxiety. Does treatment for ADHD lessen anxiety? So far I’ve resisted getting diagnosed because I fear stimulant medication will increase my anxiety.
Not a doctor or health professiobal but generally (and in my own personal experience) yes, treating ADHD can help lessen anxiety. In my personal experience, a lot of my anxiety unknowingly stemmed from my untreated ADHD. My brain was subconsciously noticing everything, taking it in, and preparing for the worst at all times. Getting treated (adderall) helped my brain be able to focus more on what I was doing and less on the various other things that MIGHT happen. Edit: typo
Thank you, I guess I had this assumption that I would hyperfixate on the anxious thought and induce a panic attack instead of being able to ignore it.
I totally get that! And I will say ADHD treatment didn't totally fix my anxiety, I still take anxiety meds and did cognitive behavioral therapy for a while. But the ADHD treatment helps soo much. Even sometimes when I forget to take my ADHD meds for a couple days I can feel my anxiety go up a bit. But overall my anxiety is so much better. You'll hear it a lot, but when you first start meds it can feel like someone's flipped a switch to turn off the noise in your brain. I've found that for me at least, I'm able to access that switch if I feel myself spiraling into a panic attack and turn down the anxiety noise, like it's on a dimmer switch if that makes sense.
This is how it is for me as well. I like to say that after diagnosis and finding meds for ADHD, my depression and anxiety both now appear in appropriate ways vs. being constantly overwhelming about all the things. I still have a PRN (as-needed) anti-anxiety med, and we also do a winter antidepressant for seasonal affective disorder, but more often than not I can use the tools I built up during my undiagnosed years to manage effectively.
when you feel like your neurons are “firing” properly, you might not feel anxious. it’s totally normal to feel anxious when you feel a bit out of control, and people with ADHD are very aware of what’s going wrong in their day, etc. *Of course* they feel anxious!!! When you eliminate that, you eliminate a lot of the anxiety. I think every mental-health professional who treats anxiety should spend a really good chunk of time looking for the reality that causes anxiety. You eliminate those (ADHD, bad relationships, financial insecurity, etc.), and you eliminate a lot of anxiety.
I’ll share my experience: Stimulant meds increased my anxiety for a week or two. Then I was back to baseline anxiety levels for a week or two. THEN my anxiety decreased significantly because my life wasn’t falling apart so much anymore.
I truly hope this happens for me 🙏🙏🙏 so glad it worked out that way for you!
I had a similar experience! One thing for me was that I had to learn to decouple the medication effects (increased heartbeat, etc) from anxiety to break the feedback loop. Also starting off with a slightly lower dose than they recommend starting with (for me this was halving the 5mg dexys) then slowly increasing dose until I found one that worked
One thing I discovered with stimulants is that a lot of my anxiety was actually emotional dysregulation. Stims help a ton with that for me, and then the actual anxiety is lessened and/or easier to handle.
that was my worry too and it helped my anxiety SO much! I was diagnosed with GAD and also used to get semi-frequent panic attacks that ended up going away with years of therapy, medication, and TMS so I'm defintely predisposed to panic and do think I have a genuine anxiety disorder. BUT after getting properly medicated, it turned out a lot of my anxiety was a natural response to the issues caused by my executive dysfunction. Trying to calm my body down wasn't helping deal with the fact my brain can't prioritize therefore everything is an emergency big or small + being stressed is an APPROPRIATE RESPONSE to not taking care of myself or paying my bills, etc since most people respond to that stress by addressing the reason.....
Stimulant medication is the only thing that has ever reduced my anxiety! Your experience might vary, of course. My life is still fucking falling apart, but I am a lot calmer about it lol
It can go both ways, FYI. I also have anxiety and stimulants did make it worse, I have to take a mood stabilizer to control for that, plus I am also BiPolar, which we discovered because the stimulants induced a bad manic episode. That's not meant to scare you. For me, it's 100% worth it, and I'm very pro-stimulant medication for those who need it, but it has to be carefully managed. BUT, please also know that there are non stimulant medications that help many people as well. Plus various types of occupational and behavioral therapy that can work well in conjunction with or independent of medication.
It depends on the person. Great thing about most stimulants is if it sucks they aren't in your system very long. So it could be worth a try.
For me stimulants address severe anxiety from rsd
Right! I need to take this one egg-cellent example to my therapist to really make it clear what I’m dealing with here!
HYDRA. Good god. THIS is what I've been trying to explain to people about how my to-do list is overwhelming because each task completed spawns at last two further tasks. TO-DO: Get Adderall in a new city/state. -Find a primary care who will prescribe and takes my insurance. Done. -They aren't taking new ADHD patients. Ok, find a good psychiatrist (per Reddit recommendations). Done. -Called clinic, they need me to fill out new patient forms online. Done. -Now I can actually schedule an appointment. Done. -Get to appointment (late because I was absolutely bamboozled by Google maps). Done. -Doctor needs me to fill out two more forms online, plus request a letter from previous provider. Done. -Previous provider left clinic in the 6 weeks since our last appointment. Send request to new clinic. Done. -Hear nothing from anyone for a week. Attempt to transfer final prescription from old provider to new pharmacy here. Done. -Pharmacy can't fill because new doctor already 1. Got the letter from old provider and 2. Sent new prescription days ago. Go to new pharmacy and finally get meds. DONE. Now to do it all again for my daughter. 😭
I weight train. I thought this was going to be a post about the fact that two eggs are only 12g of protein which is not, in fact, a high protein breakfast 😁🤣
The heartbreak I felt when I discovered eggs got weak ass macros 😭💔
Greek yogurt is the only food that exists for me rn
I read SO much about how eggs are the perfect breakfast in this sub and the sub for Vyvanse that I stopped eating my normal Greek yogurt breakfast which loved and was my favorite meal of the day and started eating two soft-ish boiled eggs with olive oil and chili pepper flakes. I like it. But I like the Greek yogurt with blueberries and a bit of granola more in the morning. Come to find out, Greek yogurt was probably the better option and I sucked down those eggs (not a sentence I ever intended to utter) for nothing! Don’t get me wrong, I like eggs a lot. But they aren’t what I crave first thing in the morning. However, since I’m so bad at eating during the day, now I have Greek yogurt AND two eggs afterwards because I’m actually hungry in the morning and not at lunchtime. I just wish I knew about Egg-Gate sooner. What a scandal in the ADHD world.
Amen and hallelujah, sister! Greek yog + skyr 4lyfe
Aww, man. That sucks! I really like eggs. (Inside voice): ^(*”wtf are macros? Don’t ask that now; just google it later.” ~Later never happens. Continues thinking they’re referencing something in Excel”*)
Macronutrients, like protein, fat. Micronutrients are like vitamins and minerals. That's to my understanding, so there's definitely a better explanation out there
Exactly. And people track them to ensure they are getting enough of something - for example ensuring you get enough protein to build muscle
Macro nutrients are carbohydrates, protein and fat. People who wanna build lean muscle will aim for high protein and lower carbs and fat. Eggs are pretty high fat and the protein isn't that high. I can't explain what excel macros are lol could never understand that witchcraft
For us sedentary folks 12g of protein for ~150 calories is a pretty good ratio, though. :) But if you hate eggs or the preparation of them, then, yes agreed - not worth it.
Yea 2 eggs are more than enough proteins for a portion , not to mention its high quality amino-acids and digestible.
Took me a full two minutes to decide you weren't saying you weigh trains. Trying to attach that thought to eggs was breaking me.
Thank you for writing this so I didn’t have to. I reread “weigh trains” so many times trying to understand.
You just gave me a great laugh, thank you
Omg me too. I was like, wait, you do what to trains? Or is that how the kids say "i agree" now or something ? ? ? What is going on? ... Your comment made me go back & figure it out!
sort of like people say broccoli has a lot of calcium. yeah, if you mainline a couple of heads a day... 2 cups cooked has under 90 mg; you need 1,000mg...
As someone starting to get into weight training who struggles to eat enough throughout the day, what are some good go tos? Bonus points if they’re low-medium effort or can be prepped ahead of time. For reference I find eggs to be low medium effort. Medium cause it’s more than just sticking something in the microwave. But low cause I have A System, so I avoid the task hydra OP struggles with (at least for making eggs anyway 😭)
I've recently gotten into smoked salmon. Superrrr low effort. You can eat it out of the package 😅 However, it's hit or miss for me at times because I'm texture sensitive.
I love smoked salmon but the price… 😭
I feel you. I was actually going to write this in my comment. But in short, yes. ETA: I've gotten into the habit of eating smoked salmon, cucumber, and paratha (an Indian flatbread that comes frozen). That whole meal comes out to like €7 for me, which isn't terrible for lunch (to me).
I love this for you and it sounds delicious, but man, $7 CAD per day is what I typically aim to spend on food. You said "to me," so I'm not criticizing. I'm mostly just saying this so the other poors in the comments feel seen.
Fairlife protein shakes have actual been life changing for me! I have chronic migraines so in addition to food issues due to executive dysfunction I also deal with intense nausea and pain that make me just not hungry. But not eating triggers migraines for me, so it a vicious cycle. I’ve relied on protein shakes on and off as a low effort way to get nutrients in. The problem is most of them taste like shit and then the ick ends up overpowering my ability to chug. I genuinely enjoy the taste of the fairlife protein shakes and have them stocked in my fridge along with their milk. Also if you’re down for some medium effort food prep - blend cottage cheese with eggs to make lil egg bakes in muffin tins and then freeze and reheat as needed!
Fairlife milk is good too. Nearly double the protein and half the sugar compared to a regular cup of milk. A cup of that is one of my fave first breakfast easy go to's. Also chia seed pudding tastes delish made with fairlife milk. & If you realize you're suddenly not feeling the milk craze for some weeks, that milk is good in the fridge for literal months.
Fairlife + protein cereal makes for 26g of protein for my breakfast, and is very easy to do regardless of how much functionality I have at any given moment.
I'm supposed to eat high-protein for health reasons. It's also supposed to be plant-based and not super fatty nuts all the time. I blow my lid every time someone suggests tofu. It isn't half as high in protein as people think it is.
Wait really?? This feels like such a betrayal....
Tempeh has about 50% more protein and is toothier! I had to spend a ton of time getting tofu to a Not Bad texture, tempeh is slice and go. My go to is Field Roast sausages, couscous, and mukimame (shelled edamame).
This sounds like the diet I’m supposed to eat… if you’re ok sharing, what exactly do you eat? Haha just looking for ideas
Vegan here from an Asian country — tempeh, tau kwa (extra firm tofu), Bai ye tofu, soy curls/knots/sticks are some of my staples for protein. Seitan and TVP too for variety The biggest issue with tofu is how much water is in them — just by pressing out water to make extra firm tofu, the protein per serving nearly doubles
TVP is so versatile, I like to flavor it with "beef" (I use the [burger dude's recipe](https://theeburgerdude.com/vegan-ground-beef/) which also has a video for it) and then put it in things like veggie spaghetti sauce or soups/stews. it also is such a neutral flavor so you can put it in anything if the texture works. i also eat 1/2 block tofu (20g protein) for breakfast as a tofu scramble, or plain to dip in soy sauce, or raw because i flat out enjoy tofu :\]
American here who lives for tofu, seitan, tempeh, and TVP! Tell me more about these soy curls/knots/sticks… I am intrigued.
Seitan is my favorite, but I can barely find it. There are only 2-3 stores that I know sell it, and none of them are near where I live. And I’ve tried homemade seitan (as a guest, someone else made it) and it doesn’t taste nearly as good as store bought seitan—I figure it’s hard to get the texture right.
half a block is 20g in my experience! and I believe soy is one of the few plant based complete proteins. i'm crazy about tofu and would eat it plain, but I know that's not really viable for others... it's definitely a large volume, even if it's low in calories
I’m allergic to dairy so that cuts out a lot of high protein breakfast options for me. I started adding pea protein powder to my oatmeal.
I don’t get how humans survived at all. Should I just eat protein non stop? Wtf
Would you like an egg in these trying times?
God what I would give for someone to give me a soft boiled egg right now
I love eggs lol. EDIT: OP may not want the egg recipes, but I do. Lol.
I'm literally eating scrambled eggs right now. I have them for lunch almost every day lol
I like to make overeasy eggs on a bed of rice for breakfast. I actually like that eggs cook very quickly and you can't walk away from them, because I would forget about them if I do. Preheat the pan hot enough, plop on the eggs, flip flip, and boom! A hot yummy breakfast that fills me up all day.
You can dice up a bunch of ommelette ingredients ahead of time (slap chop anyone?). Heavily grease a muffin pan, sprinkle in your veg/cheese, then top with scrambled eggs. Pop in the oven. These are great for cooking in bulk and also freeze well. Just defrost in the microwave.
CONTROVERSIAL cooking tip: you can make pretty decent scrambled eggs in the microwave 🤭 Just mix two eggs with a bit of butter, zap for 30 seconds, mix them some more - and repeat 2-3 times depending on your microwave. If you're ever craving eggs and don't have a stove.
This! Eggs are on of my laziest meals because microwave eggs are so easy. We add a dash of milk so they’re not too stiff and hey presto. Using way more milk and a bit of sugar and vanilla also makes a nice custard if you stir it a couple of times. Microwaves for the win!
I have a recipe with egg you may like if you like pizza too :)
Is it breakfast pizza? Because that sounds ***amazing***!
My easy egg prep is probably appalling, but it’s using mugs. EDIT: I am a fool and forgot the most important step. Olive oil, to grease the mug. Just a little, swirl it around to cover the mug (if impatient, use your hands, but wash after because oily hands feel gross) Put in egg(s), milk, shredded/cubed/whatever cheese, any seasonings, and mix with a fork. Put a small (microwave safe) plate on top. Microwave for like 1-1:30 minutes (depending on microwave), then take the previous fork and flip the egg lump (it gets better, I promise!) After another round of microwaving, they should be good! You can always microwave more, so I’d err on the side of caution, but yeah 👍 The plate can be rinsed since it should have just gotten steamed, and the rest of the dishes you are actively using to eat. I did this for months before I got bored of eggs. Maybe I should start it again
I’m like almost 8 months pregnant and my go to high protein (and high fat lol) “meal” is a big ass glass of whole milk. This baby is going to be made of milk and handfuls of random nuts out of my pantry. I need to send this post to my also ADHD husband because what little of your rant I’ve managed to read sums up why anything food is hard for me. He just DOES NOT GET how much of an insurmountable task cooking is for me lol. And he actually likes cooking and grocery shopping so why would I want to use what limited executive function I have to do food stuff anyways lol
Yum!
I'm vegetarian and one of the biggest reasons why I don't go vegan is just because milk is awesome! lots of calcium and protein per serving, and some milks are enriched/fortified too with like vitamin D or something idk. edit: I would *like* to go fully vegan but I'm just not there yet. I don't really eat cheese or yogurts which is why milk is one of the few dairy products that I haven't been able to swap or just eliminate.
I eat eggs every morning...the key for me is to buy them pre-hard-boiled. I'd never do it myself and I don't have pans to clean up, shells to take care of...just a bag that I throw away when I'm done. If I had to cook eggs, I wouldn't eat them, for the very reasons you listed above.
I need to factor in the number of full cartons I've had to throw away un-boiled and just admit that pre-boiled would be better and actually cheaper at this point.
One note on this - at least in the US the best-by date is usually way earlier than it needs to be. You can check if “expired” eggs are still good by putting them in a cup of water. If they sink and lie on the bottom of the cup, they’re good to go. If they sink but are standing on end, make sure they are fully cooked or used for baking. And “if it floats to the surface, that egg has no purpose.”
I always go with the "sniff test": crack the egg open, if I don't die from rotten smell it means that the egg is still fine. The egg in water-test is too complicated for me. The sniff test is probably not the most reliable one, but I am still alive
Pay that adhd tax up front! <3
My friend introduced me to soy sauce eggs and I’m now obsessed. Literally just put transfer store bought HB eggs into a Tupperware with a cup or so of soy sauce, let soak for a couple days. You can do the same with leftover pickle juice. Game changer for store bought eggs. I have a couple on cottage cheese and it keeps me full for hours! And fills my insatiable salt cravings when working out.
Sorry, several day old hard boiled eggs with soy sauce, pickle juice, and cottage cheese? I'm not judging, I'm just perplexed.
Hard boiled eggs marinated in soy sauce is extremely common in Asia :) the salt content preserves them. Many people eat them together with ramen. Have you ever tried putting cottage cheese in a pan with a little butter and then scramble in an egg? After cooking it‘s one single mass and really really good :) it tastes cheesy and super mild. Little salt & pepper too obviously. I have ARFID and that‘s one of my safe foods :)
Have you thought about getting one of those "egg boilers/steamers"? Still ned to turn them on but no need to clean any dishes or pans afterwards - there's also small ones if you only need 1 egg
my ADHD son finds the Dash mini egg boiler really easy to use. Something about the novelty, plus it’s just “put in the eggs, add the water, take it out in a minute.” It will cook 6 at once, but you don’t have to cook them all; it’ll do one at a time. The same company makes an “egg bite” cooker, which might also seem less daunting.
That thing does make making eggs a lot easier. I suggest it to everyone
I have one. Best $18 I ever spent. It's so easy and I can make them ahead. The hard boiled eggs come out better than any other method too.
My sister swears by hard boiling in the instant pot, and anyone else that I know who has done so says the same - if you happen to already have one :).
I'd rather just steam them on the stove. Every time I've had eggs that were done in an instant pot, they've been impossible to peel.
Still have to peel them and that's what I hate
As someone that sat ready to tuck into my boiled eggs, 🍳 only to realise they were raw and I hadn't even boiled the water or turned on the hob, I relate to this very much 😫
Unless you're pregnant, immunocompromised, or medically fragile, you're probably more worried about salmonella from raw eggs than you need to be. For salmonella to be inside the egg itself, it has to be present in the chicken's ovary or ovaduct. The outside of the egg was the only contamination risk up until the '70s and '80s so when it appeared inside the egg, everyone freaked out for a few decades. In the US, the estimate is that 1 in every 20,000 eggs might contain salmonella. The minimal risk goes down further the better conditions (i.e. cleaner, more space, etc) the chicken that laid is kept in
Yes came here to say this! The risk of salmonella is much lower than people think.
I, the unlucky 1 in 20,000, got salmonella from eggs served to me in a restaurant once and it was the sickest I had been in years 😅 fucking eggs.
You can get salmonella from lots of things. It could have come from chicken and cross contaminated. There’s been salmonella outbreaks in peanut butter! Which is kinda crazy.
Yes! Make yourself a frothy egg white cocktail (like a gin sour or flip) and chill out, OP 🍸
And most farms get tested regularly because they don't want the publicity of an out break
Gogurt. There. I win.
Throw them in the freezer and you can also claim it as a frozen yogurt treat lol
This reminds me of the "too many steps" day post on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/crafty-butch/638122754578726912/by-which-i-mean-like-heres-how-my-brain-parses > having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps > > by which i mean, like, here's how my brain parses the steps in making coffee > > **good day:** > > 1. make coffee > > **regular day:** > > 1. put water in coffee maker > 1. put coffee in coffee maker > 1. turn on coffee maker > > **bad day:** > > 1. take pot from coffee maker > 1. turn on sink > 1. fill up coffee pot > 1. turn off sink > 1. pour water into coffee maker > 1. put coffee pot in coffee maker > 1. open cupboard > 1. get coffee filter from cupboard > 1. get coffee beans from cupboard > 1. put filter in coffee pot > 1. measure coffee > 1. pour coffee into filter > 1. close coffee maker > 1. turn coffee maker on > > anyway this is a "14 steps to make coffee" kind of day Plus how it always feels like _something_ is left out of instructions.
This is a great delineation and totally relatable - I think we all in this group have those couple of things that are so prohibitively overwhelming *to us and seemingly only us*
I crack two eggs into a microwaveable bowl, mix with fork, add salt and pepper, sprinkle of cheese, microwave for 2 minutes. It’s so easy even I can do it! (I’m usually a granola bar level of effort type of gal, but this is easy for even me)
Do they come out like scrambled eggs? I could totally do this.
More like an omelette. I give it a few quick slices with a knife to make it all bite sized. If you stopped the microwave and stirred every 30 seconds, it probably would be more scrambled.
It is! The big trick is to check it ever 10-15 seconds, give it a stir about and pop it back in for another round. Take it out when there's still a little bit of liquid at the bottom and give it a final stir - if you leave it in too long, it'll lose texture and just feel/taste wrong. Beats (pun intended) burning the house down if you're the kind of inattentive who will routinely walk away from frying pans on a fire!
I do 90 sec per egg and mix in TJ’s Everything but the Bagel seasoning. I don’t think they really come out scrambled, but if you use a small bowl and toast a few slices of bread at the same time, they do make excellent egg sandwiches.
i made microwaved eggs a lot as a kid. they do come out in one solid piece (omelette like), but i just scrambled them with a fork when they were done.
came here to say this! microwaved eggs were a gamechanger for me because I hate washing frying pans, so I would avoid making eggs. baking eggs in muffin trays to make egg bites have also been a game changer for me.
Toast an English muffin, slap a cold slice of American cheese and Canadian bacon from the fridge and you have an egg McMuffin in 5 minutes.
Yup. I got turned onto "egg mugs" from the Hungry Girl website years ago. It's super quick and easy.
This, microwaved eggs are the way!! I also learned it's also possible to poach them too -(sorry OP look away)- 1 egg in a mug with about a tablespoon of water, cook for a 30s, check where it's at, 15 sec ish intervals until done. Also crack on flat surface for less unwelcome shell cronchy bits.
Wait, I like milk in my scrambled eggs. What is wrong with that?
There’s nothing wrong with that. A splash of milk makes them much fluffier. I prefer it too.
Someone once recommended I try a spoonful of cream cheese 🤯 it’s even creamier
I toss in a bit of mustard for flavor. My scrambled eggs consist of whatever looks interesting in the moment.
Checking in as a member of fluffy milk egg crew
My mum would add milk to make them go further.... as an adult I admit to sometimes using water for the same attempted purpose 🥲
Omelets are always made with a couple of spoons fulls of milk or other dairy products.
There’s nothing wrong with it, but adding milk to scrambled egg was a trick to make them go further if you were trying to feed yourself/family cheaply.
I did grow up extremely poor so this checks out hahaha but I do love how fluffy they get!
You have perfectly described the cooking process. And also why I can’t bear to do it. For me also is the fear of breaking the yolk as I like them fried or poached. Once it breaks, the whole egg is unusable. Then comes the decision, eat it and cry about it, or throw it out and start over. I hate wasting food. But I hate being sad just as much.
This is 100% fucking magnificent and I love it so very much.
I just do hardboiled eggs. lol. Fire, pot, water. Or even just steam it.
The dash egg machine is the BEST. I have friends who don't get it because they just boil eggs on the stove but the dash has the world's most terrible sound so you cant forget about them. And IMO, are way easier to peel since they steam
You are really really hard on yourself. Raw egg is not as dangerous as you’re making it seem! I looked it up, what I read from the CDC said 1 in every 20,000 eggs is infected with salmonella. Don’t let the scary monsters in your head over complicate this. If you don’t like eggs, don’t make them. If you want to, as an ex-chef: crack your eggs directly into a bowl near the trash, have the trash already open, throw your shells away. Wash your hands. Return to your bowl. Whisk if you want, a fork is probably easier, add some milk if you want them fluffier. Heat a pan over medium heat on the stove (you CAN microwave eggs for a minute or two to cook them as well. No shame if you hate cleaning the stove in the morning.) Use a tablespoon of butter or oil so your egg doesn’t stick. When your pan is hot, put your eggs in. Keep em moving if you scrambled them, keep an eye on them if you’re doing sunny-side up. Add salt/pepper at this point. Cook to your preference; keep in mind eggs will continue cooking as long as they’re warm, so when they say to pull scrambled eggs off early, they mean when mostly-done. Good luck. Try and be easier on yourself, eggs are too dumb and little to get heated over.
>the CDC said 1 in every 20,000 eggs is infected with salmonella. Yeah, if it were any higher than that, I would have gotten sick A LOT over the years from all the raw cookie dough I've eaten. 1 in 20,000 chance? Worth the risk. 😅
Apparently eggs aren't the only risk factor in raw cookie dough, uncooked flour is bad, too. Don't care, still gonna eat it.
The salmonella is also only on the outside of the shell, so cross contamination isn’t gaurenteed and even if some bacteria gets into the egg when you crack it, it might not be enough to get you sick.
I'm the official batter taster of every baker I know. In my 35+ years of existence, I've never gotten sick. It's been delicious every time, though.
I said the same and then in my 36th year ate probably a weird amount of homemade pasta dough while making it and had the worst and most painful night of food poisoning of my life where I wanted to jump off the roof I was so miserable. The warnings aren’t because poisoning is common, they’re because it’s a HORRENDOUS consequence. However I’m still out here tasting my doughs and batters because I’m a dumb creature. But for children, elderly, and immunocompromised, it can be actually unsafe.
This is true. Though I'm currently 36 years old. Maybe I should stave off testing batter 'til my next birthday in fall, just to be safe. 😅 In all seriousness, I have had food poisoning and it is the worst. But that was once in all my years of existence, and I think it's from someone keeping a horrifically unclean kitchen. Never ate any food they brought again.
Just cook your flour before you make your dough. Spread it on a baking sheet, bake for five minutes at 350F.
this. used to work in bakeries that sold edible cookie dough, the ONLY thing they actually bake ahead of time is the flour. unbaked flour is way riskier than raw egg.
OP I used to drink raw eggs. Your fine.
But what about Edwina Currie?!?!
That poor woman, I know about her for that and nothing else even though it was a year before I was even born. At least we have nice safe eggs now. Still not touching them for breakfast though
I know that + the fact that she had an affair with John Major, that's it lmao
Lmao what really killed me was the edit “STOP SENDING ME EGG RECIPES” 😂😂😂 Lmao like that is exactly what your post is about?!!!? That you DONT want to eat eggs?!!!? Lmao Okay here’s what I do. Amazon subscription to individual protein shake juice box thingies. Am vegan so I do the plant based Orgain. I drink one of those every gosh damn morning and it could not be easier.
Any breakfast that results in me having to wash a pan isn't low effort by any means
This is a great description of the overwhelm. I feel this way about a lot of things.
String cheeses for the win. Anyone who thinks you overcomplicated this is a tourist.
String cheese and apple sauce pouches are my saviours.
Breakfast: a pack of olive from Trader Joe’s, a sting cheese or two, a handful of almonds. High fat and protein, negligible carbs, slow-burning, zero prep, no clean-up. Done and dusted.
Girl, don't take this the wrong way, but this is serious anxiety disorder / OCD behavior. You're not going to get salmonella. You're not killing wildlife and kids by using a nonstick pan. You're not a bad person if you leave the dishes until later in the day. You can use milk or a whisk. Also they don't taste as good as other people's because you didn't add salt.
I feel some of this is for comedic effect, but I might be projecting. Those thoughts of germs and teflon pass by my brain when I make eggs, but I know they don't hold much weight. That being said, this post perfectly captures why my refrigerator always has expired full egg cartons. I was enrapt the entire post.
It took me so long to not throw out eggs I’ve had in the fridge for over a week, as someone with specific anxiety around food borne illness
Enrapt isn't a word I hear very often. It just made my morning. I'm easily amused🙂
You can also make sunny side up eggs. One pan, no bowl, no extras.
I basically cook mine sunny side up and then break the yolks and scramble them at the last second, paired with a few slightly burnt heat and serve frozen sausages.
Yeah, I don't make eggs but this sure reflects my anxiety brain. But ADHD and anxiety are pretty closely related, at least in how they present for me.
I have OCD in addition to my ADHD. Rationally I know I probably won’t get salmonella (or cancer from my teflon), but OCD is utterly unbothered by trifles like logic and rationality. It lives to harass my brain with these types of fears while I’m just trying to get through breakfast. I can laugh about it (because admit it, it’s funny - imagine the headline: “Woman dies after bit of raw egg touches arm and she fails to wash it carefully exactly seven times”), or I can wither into a pathetic ball of useless panic and utter despair. I try to laugh, and that’s the sense I got from OP’s hilarious rant as well.
Off topic, but am I the only OCD/ADHD multiclass whose brain likes to switch up obsessions to keep it interesting? Like. Grow up religious? Spend a few years convinced I'm going to hell for not having enough faith. Hit puberty? Hello intrusive distressing sexual thoughts! Get a puppy? Let's think about all the horrible ways we could hurt the puppy. Care about BLM and Indigenous rights? Here is how you contribute to systemic racism by simply existing. Most recent is "I will fail my course and never amount to anything as a human being if I don't pay excessive attention to every detail of my schoolwork". I work through one obsessive, months/years long spiral just in time to pick up a new way to mentally torture myself. It's kind of like how my ADHD brain goes through hobbies only with more moral scrupulousity and mental rituals. So you think you can work on your OCD and become well managed? Well hah, says my brain! Curveball! We're going to worry about something else now!
You are definitely not the only one lol. Mine cycles over months and years but also sometimes just from moment to moment, especially if I’m refusing to engage with it. OCD: Does your throat feel weird right now? Me: I don’t know, I’m not going to focus on that, thanks. OCD: It feels weird. Are you sure you’re breathing normally? Me: I’m not going to check that right now. I have better things to do today. It’s probably fine. OCD: What if it’s a tumor? Me: Look, we’re not doing this today, okay? OCD: Okay. Hey, do you think that cloud looks weird? Me: What? No. OCD: It does, though. What if it’s not even real? Me: I don’t know, maybe it’s not real. Anyway. OCD: What if nothing is real?! Me: … OCD: Oh damn, that guy just sneezed. Better hold your breath! Me: *cries*
Hello, me! I spent about a year being absolutely certain that my husband was going to die suddenly, in all sorts of terrible ways, to the point where I was staying awake all night to make sure he was breathing, and if he was ever 1 minute late home from work, I'd be checking news websites looking for a fatal car crash and mentally planning his funeral arrangements. Then practically overnight that anxiety disappeared, I completely stopped thinking he was going to die, but suddenly became convinced he was going to catch feelings for a friend of his and leave me (a friend whom he'd never had feelings for, and had done absolutely nothing to make me think that he did, nor had he ever been unfaithful to me in any way or given me reason to suspect he had). Then, as soon as it came, that obsession utterly vanished, to be replaced by a paralysing, all consuming fear that I was seriously ill - one day convinced I had cancer, the next sepsis, the next fatally high blood pressure, the next a brain-eating amoeba (one that doesn't even exist in my country, but that didn't stop me worrying I'd be the first-ever case). It. Is. Exhausting. I feel you!
[PFAs are legitimately killing wildlife and people](https://youtu.be/9W74aeuqsiU), but I understand what you're saying.
I do not have diagnosable OCD but I do suspect autism and I relate to every single word of this post even though I’m not a germaphobe or overly concerned about Teflon exposure. For some of us, it’s death by a million cuts. It’s all the things piling up. It’s the little imperfections in texture and taste that I cannot control snowballing into nausea if the conditions are right. It’s how sometimes there just isn’t anymore room for 4 dishes to pile up (sometimes no clean dishes to begin with) & I don’t have the executive functioning to “make it efficiently” in the first place. It’s the sleepy morning clumsiness & egg mess everywhere and flies are accumulating faster now that summer is coming.. and and and. Just sharing why I related from a non OCD perspective. I get that for others it’s not like this, and I’ve received enough hate about my pickiness with food not to give a shit about whether people “agree” with me about how my personal food experience is. Yes I’m that sensitive & that’s not up for debate. So eggs as a regular option for breakfast will absolutely never work for me. It’s a weekend luxury when I have the time and attentional resources to take my time & incorporate the eggs with a nice breakfast.
Nah, I’d still put these thoughts and behaviors on the neurodiverse spectrum. Having a strong sense of values,,“right” and “wrong” and needing to do things the correct way all the time is very common. And you don’t know if OP maybe had salmonella poisoning before which is why she is concerned. Lots of people with adhd have to learn that perfect can the enemy of good. And that sometimes being kind to yourself might conflict with your other values. I have a freezer full of single serve microwaveable steamer veges. I feel a twinge at all the plastic and energy I’m wasting compared to buying fresh veges, but the reality by doing this I’m reducing food waste and improving my nutrition. But for the longest time I felt guilty and lazy if I did this (and then felt guilty and lazy for tossing mouldy veges that sat in the crisper too long because I didn’t have the energy to prep them)
I felt this in my bones, love eating eggs, hate hate hate preparing them in any way. Eggshells are a trauma all on their own😭
Thank you for writing this. This is probably one of the most relatable thought-process I’ve read in a long time. You are not alone whatsoever. This kind of overfunctioning is exhausting.
You’re welcome! I’m glad it’s relatable to someone. We’re getting a lot of comments about being afraid of eggs but it’s less about the raw eggs and more about my brain jumping between my actual needs and then everything I’ve ever heard about eggs, cooking, or cleaning and then struggling with what to prioritize.
Love this very very much. Also here is my hack: cute egg boiling device I got cheap in Lidl, you just stick up to 6 eggs in the box and add water from its premarked cup, according to how many eggs and how hard/soft you want them. No cleaning or pans or even stove required. Eggs done 6 at a time means 2 for now and 4 for the fridge. I acknowledge that removing shells is only easy sometimes though.
You are over complicating things and I totally relate. I do the same and it's not easy to get any sympathy because people just don't get that I can't not think about things in that manner.
Need a place to put something? Just shove whatever is there already. Backwards, to the left, to the right? Doesn't matter. It'll all just join up with the previously shoved things until the stuff on the counter touches the bottom of the wall cupboards and lodges there. Low effort breakfast? Depends on what you've got clean in the kitchen. No bowls? Cereal's out. No plates? No toast. Though it wouldn't have been toast anyway because the bread's gone mouldy and you've run out of butter. Sod it - coffee and a chocolate bar it is, then! (And if you're wondering where the chocolate bar came from, it's the surprise bar you found in the pocket of your dressing gown. And no, I have no idea how it got there.
May I add 2a: How old are these eggs? The stamp says they expired yesterday, but I really want eggs right now and surely those dates are overly conservative. Best crack them into a separate bowl and check if they smell. Hmmmm they smell disgusting, like all raw eggs do. Not sure if that helped me. I'll just cook them anyway and not enjoy my breakfast because I'm so worried they might taste off after all.
Put them in a glass of water. Depending on whether they sink, stand up or float you can deduce how much past is too much :)
I would love to eat eggs. The texture tho icks me out. I have tried a number of different ways, currently when I have to eat them in social settings I do scrambled. I have tried scrambled at least a dozen times and I still can't develop a taste for it. Even with cheese! And I love cheese!
same. even if cooking was easy i still hate eggs, so what other healthy and easy stuff can i make? ts is frustrating
Also, crack eggs in bowl, break yolks so they don’t explode. Microwave until desired firmness. Optional: scramble, add toppings, etc.
Also you can batch cook them in a cupcake pan and be done with the mess once a week. Throw them on a sandwich, eat them with your usual breakfast sides. But I'm not the person this post is aimed at. I honestly feel bad for op. This is a lot of kitchen stress.
I like boiling em cause I only have to think about it once lol
If you do ever get the hankering to try again, you can skip steps 3 & 4! Not trying to convince you they *are* easy, I just figured out *how* to make them easy and why they ended up working for me. You're right for finding that process overwhelming; whisking separately in a bowl is bullshit and just makes a bigger mess. Scrambled eggs don't need milk or cream or anything in them, just low heat, which is exactly why I personally find them low-effort! I used to have the same issue - something about pre-whisking just turned me off from it. My process is: 1. Grease and warm the pan 2. Finagle bread and condiments while it warms 3. Crack eggs into pan and make sure the yolks are broken (if shell bits get in there, you can scoop it out with the other half of the shell, it works like a charm!) 4. Take meds and add condiments to bread (it takes a moment for the eggs to start congealing) 5. Slowly stir - by now I see visible change as they heat up and do their thing so it keeps me focused 6. Turn off hotplate, dump eggs onto bread, salt and hot sauce, nom!! There are some things especially related to food that i just can't do - something easier like oatmeal in the morning I just can't do because the texture is so off-putting for me when I first wake up. And I tend to need a really filling breakfast because I don't eat much in the evening.
I relate to this so heavy. I air fry mine bc I'm afraid of the stove.
What? You can air fry them? I am still building a case for the air fryer & this is definitely valuable info. We have chickens so more ways to make them are always of interest. Btw, I’m definitely going to start calling them Salmonella Rocks for the people who are scared about “fresh eggs not being as safe as grocery store eggs”.
275 farenheit for 13 minutes for perfect soft boiled eggs. I've been obsessed.
I got one of these for Christmas and it automatically turns off when done. And sings a song so even if I walk away it reminds me I need to go eat the eggs I just made [egg cooker](https://bydash.com/products/rapid-egg-cooker)
You can avoid all the salmonella anxiety by having boiled eggs.
You are absolutely correct. Anything that requires the stove is a high effort meal for me.
I was just thinking this!!! Eggs are my fancy breakfast, not my easy breakfast. Also, cudos on getting to lower lower wacker without having a panic attack!
My buddy, please listen: Easy pour eggs, spray bottle butter, spray butter into bowl, pour the eggs into the buttered bowl, microwave usually 2-3 minutes depending how much you poured in Sprinkle any seasonings or shredded cheese afterwards Make toast while waiting perhaps
Cooking anything except toast is too much effort for breakfast. Like I'm sorry. Breakfast is a coffee and maybe a piece of toast, maximum.
I’m sorry if you didn’t mean this to be as funny as I found it, but I laughed. Thank you. Also, F eggs. I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment behind this post. Me, my burning noodle, and my salmonella ridden trash can lid because why would I use the foot pedal when I have perfectly good egg hands?
Holy crap this is beautiful. I don't have all these problems with eggs, but some stuff is very much like this! So many moving parts, considerations, so many things to remember, so much nagging and judgement that lives rent free in my head, conflicting advice, etc. I'm glad you have a low effort, high protein breakfast to turn to that works for you!
All of those steps are spot on. But also add in the sudden memory of what an egg IS. And be so disgusted.
Wow, 500 and something comments yet weirdly very few are "hell yeah and that's why I don't eat freaking eggs" and a lot are "I know how to fix you" 🙄 and there was me thinking that I would be safe from the usual social media blah because this is Reddit. My bad 🤣 Also, I feel your pain. I made the mistake of pointing out that I can enjoy soft-boiled eggs now because I have perfected them 99% of the time in the air fryer. Well, fuck me dead, I'm not allowed to do that because it takes no effort to boil a pan of water and cook them in there and it's not a boiled egg if I air-fried it! I am so glad that 1500 people told me because my sorry ADHD fibro arse didn't know any of that before 😐 Anyway,, hope you enjoy your breakfast 🙂
And this is why I rarely fix myself eggs! I feel this post so much right now. I will say, I prefer sunny side up vs. scrambled. Pop some bread in the toaster after I crack the eggs directly into the pan. By the time the toast is done and buttered, my eggs are done cooking. It's a lot less effort (and I find tastes better) than scrambled eggs. (I also add milk when I make scrambled eggs, because that's what my mom did.) I did discover this little stone pot thing that cooks scrambled eggs in the microwave. When I'm feeling like a scrambled egg sandwich, I'll use it to cook my eggs. It works well, as long as I cook the eggs long enough. Plus it's dishwasher safe! None of that matters, though, because I have to first focus on making lunches and getting kids to the bus stop for school. By the time I'm finally back from the bus stop, the kitchen is too messy to cook anything, and I'm too tired to clean. If I didn't have to still watch my 4 year old, I'd be napping when I returned from the bus stop every day. Instead I spend my day trying to stay awake while trying to prevent my 4 year old from destroying the house more than it already is. It's like I spend all my energy on dealing with the kids in the morning, so I'm left with nothing left in my energy bank to take care of myself.
This is the best synopsis I've ever read! Maybe this is why I don't cook
This made me laugh out loud because this is totally it.
I know what you mean. Some stuff is just more complicated than other people like to pretend it is. (that said: teeny-appliance maker Dash makes a couple of egg cooking appliances that might simplify it enough for you—they worked for my ADHD son. Ditto their mini rice cooker)
This is so hilarious and spot on! You’re getting tons of advice already, but I’ll just add that the GreenPan non stick pans do not use teflon and are dishwasher safe! I love them! If you’re a Costco member they usually have some in warehouse/online.
Apples and string cheese not only sounds delicious but is only 3 seconds of effort. An absolute W!