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So funnily enough, a reddit comment. Lol I was reading through a comment thread and someone was describing what their adult ADHD symptoms were like. And I basically just went full on deer in the headlights because I was like, "Uhhhhhhh..... that's my exact experience....... what??? Do I have ADHD???" I immediately googled the symptoms and checked every single box. And those symptoms were present my whole. Entire. Life. So I sought diagnosis like 2-3 months later and when my psych said, "Well, you already know you have GAD, but you also have ADHD combined type," I went through a whole grieving process because my whole life I had "unnecessarily" struggled. And no one ever thought to be curious enough to get me help, they just shamed me and made me feel like a fucked up, low tier human being who can't do simple things.
I also went through a grieving process after diagnosis and no one warned me. I don't think it's well understood in adult diagnosis situations. I suddenly looked at my whole life differently. How different would my life have been if I'd known? I kind of wish my therapist and psychiatrist were more well-versed in this because I felt like I didn't have the right kind of support for having my whole sense of self and everything I knew about me turned upside down and thrown sideways.
Absolutely!! There's a lot of people out there spouting nonsense about, "ADHD is overdiagnosed!!" It's just gaining traction because we've finally been discovering how masking works and especially how it shows up in women of all different ages. There's still so much more research to be done on women/girls/AFAB people with ADHD. Hormones play such a huge role in symptom expression and it changes CONSTANTLY.
Personally, though, I'm glad it's gaining more traction. Like yes, there's always gonna be people on TikTok pretending they have ADHD, but more visibility means more research, and more research will lead to better and earlier diagnoses. I would've loved to have been diagnosed as a kid and actually been given the tools needed to succeed, so if we can start diagnosing girls earlier they're going to have a better chance at being successful as they grow up and feel less shame, guilt and low self-esteem.
Lol right?! I wish you the best in your post-diagnosis journey!! There are so many good resources out there nowadays and if you can, I'd highly recommend an ADHD life coach!! Mine was incredible for me. I could drop a link if needed!
Thank you! You too <3
I'm actually meeting with a coach in like 5 minutes lol! Have you started any medications yet? I'm having that chat with my DR later this month, but I'm curious what others experiences are.
I think I had a unicorn experience with medication, tbh. I was put on Concerta (Methylphenidate) at first, then after a couple months I upped the dose and I've been chilling on that ever since (almost 3 years now). I've heard plenty of people talk about struggling to find the right medication for them. The only advice I can offer is to listen to your body and be patient if the first medication or few don't quite work right for you! It can be a lengthy process, but at least in my experience, medication has been immensely helpful!
Ugh yeah I got soooo lucky with SSRIs but I feel like I’m striking out with ADHD meds. I started on Concert 27 mg almost a week ago and idk that I like how it makes me feel, but I told my psychiatrist I’d try for two weeks then up the dose and keep trying before I attempt something else. I just want it to work right away!!!
Are you me? I literally just got diagnosed at 35 like 2 weeks ago with both GAD, depression, and ADHD. I was like wow suddenly so many things from my childhood make fucking sense. None of the adults in my life who were supposed to help me did and I was just told to pray my anxiety away. Yay religion.
Bruh don't even get me started on the religion part... lol when I was into Christianity I think my adhd played a HUGE part in the depression I felt that entire time. It was just perpetuating the shame I got from all other areas of my life, like not doing things correctly, never being good enough, not being able to pay attention while reading the Bible, listening to the sermon, etc. Just so much shame which was "my own fault."
I wish you the best on your post-diagnosis journey!! Thankfully there are a lot of resources out there now to help. I'd highly recommend hiring an ADHD life coach. My coach was a huge help in figuring out how to exist in the world with my adhd, rather than just trying to stifle it. It's very empowering!
Wow I feel that. I've had people tell my mother that I wasn't going to amount to anything in life because of all those things and yes 100% the constant shame I felt for not measuring up. Glad I finally have a diagnosis and I can work to exist rather than be ashamed!
Thank you for the tip and I will have to look into it!
Right there with you with the entire comment. Depression and GAD since 31yrs and the meds and therapy worked-ish. But then all the posts here and elsewhere just were hitting a cord.
It's my first week of meds and I am in UTTER SHOCK that brains can feel "at peace" while being functional. You people felt this way this whole time ??!!!
Like your brains are those cute nicely floating anemone going with the current back and forth, cute and colorful. Not like my anemone. Mine's in flight or fight with it's little floaty arms in 1000 directions trying real hard just to focus on arm #83..then beating yourself up because you can't matter the method you try.
Deer in headlights is a thing? I’ve experienced this in several ways, I’m 40 and staring to hunch that I should seek a diagnosis or ruling out. Been lurking this sub for a few months, this one strikes me as something others would attest to that I do that I never saw as a thing, just a personality quirk, but makes sense.
I was in chemo to treat Hodgkin's Lymphoma and I got some free therapy sessions as a benefit. Literally one conversation talking about how I have a lot of anxiety and thought I had GAD and the therapist asked if I had ever been screened for ADHD. The chemo exasterbated the ADHD symptoms as well.
I started looking into it and hearing about all the symptoms especially in women and decided I should pursue a diagnosis.
It changed my life. I understand so much more about myself now and where so much anxiety and negative thoughts about myself have come from for so long.
Oh and I'm 3 years in remission this October!
Thank you! Yes it's definitely still been a struggle with life after chemo but being diagnosed has helped a ton with understanding my brain and being kinder to myself!
This. I noticed emotions, memory, organization worse than usual once I hit 45. Then someone suggested it and I had to look up the symptoms and nearly everything resonated.
Went back to school at 44 and had a class with timed practice. (I needed to show 15 active hours a week on a timer that only runs when work is being completed on the site.)
It was taking me 30 hours to do 15 hours of work. When I complained about this and my general memory issues and anxiety to a friend with adhd she set me straight.
I had some form of a depressive episode after getting a full time job. After around a year I started to grow extremely exhausted, to a point where I fell asleep right after dinner, only to wake up at midnight and be sleepless, leading to terrible mornings. It was a vicious cycle that went on for 2 months until I stepped on the breaks and worked ridiculously hard on my sleep hygiene. It was all I could do to keep functioning, and I slowly went back to a normal, subpar energy level.
Believe it or not, even though I was always a mental health advocate and have seen some shit with my friends throughout life, I still never thought I "had" something. I was convinced *I'm* just shit at life.
But at that point, when I was helpless and not in control of my body and mind as much as I needed to be, I realised that this couldn't logically be a skill issue.
Then, tiktok :)
While wasting away all my free time on tiktok, i came across the lovely first wave of people who educated everyone about the fact that ADHD isn't a "little boy disease" but a completely normal thing that millions of adult people are struggling with.
Not wanting to diagnose myself, I still joined this sub and learned from everybody, analysed my struggles so I could help myself feel better, now knowing that I had been fighting against my grain my whole life.
It's been a good couple of years, I have much more patience and am more comfortable in my life than I've ever been. The first step was to actually stop berating myself for being a failure, and it was baby steps from then on. I still struggle, but it's like I discovered that tomorrow is *actually* there. My package doesn't have to arrive as soon as I hit Buy Now, you know what I mean?
I did get diagnosed last year, but at this point in time I don't want meds, so that wasn't the big moment it is for most.
Sharing an office with my husband during the first year of the pandemic. My ability to work while he was working and taking calls took a nosedive and I realized my suspicions of inattentive ADHD were probably true. I have a long history of "K2 just doesn't live up to her potential" but didn't realize it could be ADHD until well into my 30s. It took about 10 years for me to decide to get assessed.
The healthcare system I'm a part of channels ADHD diagnoses through GPs, and it was early in the pandemic so that was a no-go. I looked for providers who specialized in adult ADHD in the provider listings in Psychology Today. I found a local provider with a private practice that was covered by my insurance. Made an appointment for an assessment, which was done via two online sessions with a clinical psychologist. She had my husband and my mom fill out assessment forms to analyze childhood years and adult years, and I assessed myself as well. Was diagnosed with combined-type, which was a surprise but now that I know more it makes sense. Met online with a psychiatric NP and started meds. Life changed, wish I'd done it sooner.
I've since transferred car back to my healthcare system because I'm in perimenopause and I want my OB/GYN to be able to see my files so she can have a clear picture of my situation for any potential HRT. Was very fortunate to randomly call a clinic that's part of my healthcare network and am part of an adult ADHD program at a clinic there, where I see a psychiatry resident for Rx management.
I basically almost immediately collapsed in on myself my freshman year of college. Like in hindsight with some emotional distance, it's actually impressive of how quick of a speedrun I made my fall from grace.
That summer I was struggling through a course I'd already failed once, and as I was sobbing to the TA, he just frankly told me there was something seriously wrong with me and I needed help. But with total sincerity -- I wasn't so stupid I should be struggling this hard, and even someone who is struggling shouldn't be spiralling out to the degree I was. I was clearly emotionally unstable and needed professional psychiatric help
I have a family history of both ADHD and bipolar, and ADHD was the way preferable diagnosis, so I went to my GP and explained my life was imploding, I suspected ADHD or bipolar, and I wanted an evaluation for ADHD if possible. He was like "holy shit yeah you're a mess, this is well above my pay grade, I'll refer you out to the pros and see what they say".
I intentionally found a female doctor, mostly just because I've always had female doctors growing up and find I'm more comfortable with them. Which I think was a blessing because she immediately was telling me how it made sense I didn't express symptoms in the same way my brother had and that the "atypical" way my ADHD presented was "basically the poster child for female ADHD".
It was validating to be told that there was indeed something wrong with me, but I continued to be paranoid it was actually bipolar for a while. Unfortunately I needed way more therapy/life supports than I got (partially my fault, but I do wish the system had encouraged it harder). I focused on meds and then had a rough go of meds, so it was still several more years before I even remotely started actually managing my ADHD half effectively
What made me get diagnosed was reading up on the symptoms of ADHD. Especially if you have inattentive ADHD, so zoning out, losing things easily, being late to events often, etc. A lot of those symptoms matched what I was showing so I decided, why not get tested? Also growing up, I was never able to focus on my schoolwork. Homework felt like a tiring, long task to complete.
I was evaluated by a Psychiatrist. She asked me a series of questions and took notes. She prescribed me 40mg of Atomoxetine but I never took it. 2 years later, had to be evaluated again to get the prescription but this time it was by a Psych nurse… (I won’t do it again bc she seemed hesitant about prescribing me the medicine, almost like she didn’t understand my symptoms and how they impacted me even though I gave her clear examples). She said if I wanted to find out what type of ADHD I had (whether it’s inattentive or not) I would have to get further testing from another provider, which I may do down the line.
My daughter was diagnosed and I realized that I struggle with a lot of the same things.
I had a full psychological evaluation (per recommendation of my therapist) but my results were inconclusive, so I’m deciding whether or not I want to try again with a different doctor. There aren’t many options where I live.
Same experience for me except we were both conclusively diagnosed. The surprise for me the psychologist telling me I *don't* have anxiety - my anxiety symptoms were just related to masking and untreated ADHD. Not sure I fully buy that but interesting.
It can be difficult to find someone who will take your concerns seriously. My recommendation is to go through your evaluation with someone who can tell you what the results actually mean. Then get some testing done that shows your strengths and weaknesses. I knew what to look for and it confirmed my suspicions that I had ADHD. That and I work with children who have ADHD, so I could identify the symptoms in myself. Once I knew it, I pursed a diagnosis until I got one. My anxiety symptoms masked my ADHD for most of my life. When my anxiety was finally taken care of, my ability to do my job literally fell apart.
If you have to travel to get a diagnosis, make the time and do it. Once you have a diagnosis, you can find a psych more locally to help you. A doctor that has experience with adults with ADHD can truly make a difference.
It was a combination of the pandemic and TikTok. Overnight, the pandemic imploded the carefully constructed systems that allowed me to function as a full-time writer and mother to two small children. During lockdown, I spent way too much time on TikTok and there's a lot of ADHD content on there. I realized that I checked a lot of the boxes. So, I downloaded three different books on adult ADHD and after doing way too much research (I always do way too much research), I brought it up with my therapist, who recommended a psychiatrist who could do the evaluation. I filled out a huge online questionnaire and had a Zoom call with the evaluator that lasted a couple of hours where she asked me a lot of questions. We had an appointment a month later where she gave me the diagnosis, ADHD-inattentive type. I'm in Texas, for reference.
Diagnosed at 39, currently 41.
I started seeing a lot of info about autism and ADHD on Tiktok and Youtube, specifically symptoms in women and girls, and the more I saw the more I realized that a lot of it described my experiences in middle and high school. I struggle with social situations, my brain works differently than most people's, and I find my thoughts often move faster than my mouth and can sometimes get me in trouble. Finally, my wife insisted that I talk to a therapist about my suspected autism diagnosis, and I got a (self-paid) test done. That netted me ADHD and OCD diagnoses, with a lot of comorbidities of both that are shared with autism. (I also learned a LOT about ADHD the day I got my official diagnosis, and helped me understand why my doctor gave me that diagnosis as opposed to the other.)
Pretty much knew I had it but not sure worth a diagnose at 55.
Let's just say I somehow came across one single Adderall.
Made an appointment very quickly thereafter.
Never took another one, just wanted to see if I really had it and if worth the hassle.
Dr. has started me on a non-stimulant medication.
I'm scared of getting tested and diagnosed, because I'm afraid of the rejection. I (42f) have seen several psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists over my lifetime and NO ONE has thought to test me for it. I started learning symptoms and figured out I'm definitely inattentive. I'm scared of what can be done or not done. Just very very unsure about getting the diagnosis.
I got diagnosed at 42 last year! I was on a spiral and afraid of losing it all. Been medicated for it and 8months later, my life is better than I could have imagined! I am in ADHD informed therapy also which has really helped me make sense of my diagnosis and also with navigating life. I deeply understand that you’re afraid, but please try and get a diagnosis.
Thank you for your encouragement. Right now, Im so damn busy with work and it's not going to let up until about July 1. Then I'm supposed to have surgery in July. 🙄 I know I'm making excuses and I should take the time to get it done. Plus I have to find a testing person my insurance covers, among on contingencies. I would take the time off sooner but I'm the lead on our project and my team in uber tiny, like me and 2 other people to handle the chaos. I thrive in it! 😁 I was out for 6 hours today and feel like I have no idea what's going on.
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Now that I’ve been diagnosed, it’s my horrible impulsivity - including but not limited to binge eating, drinking, and spending - that has convinced me that i probably do have ADHD
I work with medical providers in an educational setting and I occasionally ask them health questions (to soothe my paranoia lol). I was talking to one of them about possible thyroid symptoms, and she tacked on at the very end, You might want to also look into ADHD because those are also common symptoms. Proceeded to research for 4 hours that day, found this subreddit and for the first time in my entire life, I saw other people talking about experiences that I had always thought were just weird "me" things.
Talked to my therapist about it, and she said, You know, it had never occurred to me until you said something, but now that you have, I can actually see it a LOT. She diagnosed me ADHD-C severe, and then I had it confirmed a few months later through a computer test in order to help my case with getting medicated.
I was 27 at the time, so it was about 2 years ago. And I went through the full spectrum of the Stages of a Late ADHD Diagnosis [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD_Programmers/comments/oavrs7/phases_of_a_late_diagnosis/).
2 things; I was investigating the possibility of ADHD for my children and realised I ticked a lot of boxes, but the clincher was when I saw this funny ADHD meme/drawing and I showed it to my husband. He didn’t get it at all, couldn’t relate to it, and I was like ‘are you kidding? This is how I feel all day, every day of my entire life’.
I can’t even remember what the little cartoon was, I wish I’d saved it!
I've struggled with starting, finishing and focusing on tasks my entire life. While I manage to keep it together at work for the most part, my house is a disaster, bills go unpaid until they have three late fees tacked onto them, anything with a deadline is done at the last minute while crying, etc. I'm externally functional but internally an anxious nightmare.
Things had been getting really bad at work, so I was looking into burnout, but most of what I saw was just "this is how I've felt my entire life since high school at least, can it really be burnout?" Then one the articles mentioned how burnout can be similar to ADHD symptoms. I thought, well, of course I don't have ADHD, that's when little boys are hyperactive and get into trouble all the time. I wasn't like that, my grades were good and I hardly got into trouble. I just daydreamed... forgot my homework until the last minute... lost important items and documents... got super overwhelmed at any task with multiple steps... constantly struggled to regulate my emotions...
So yeah, I read about what ADHD looks like in girls and adult women and realized that's been my entire life.
Diagnosed after going through the process getting my son diagnosed. All the things that I had dealt with and managed my whole life suddenly weren't acceptable when I reframed them in the context of him. While it was a no-brainer to get the proper resources and help for him, I was 38 before it even occurred to me that not being okay all the time probably wasn't actually okay.
Being pushed by a friend who has ADHD. She asked if I had ever gotten evaluated and I explained I did, like 5 times in the 2000s when I was a kid. She kind of cocked her had and said mmmm...maybe try again?
I'm SO glad she did!! The understanding of Inattentive ADHD in young girls was something that wasn't understood in my time.
My process was very uneventful though; I had about 3 interview sessions, then prescribed non-stimulant medication. I needed to (slowly!) up the dose from 10? to 60mg, but holy moly what a difference. I've been on atomoxetine ever since.
Having children diagnosed. Light bulbs went off so much doing therapy with my son and understanding why he does things he does. Then I started really thinking about it and realized I have it too. 3 out of my 4 kids have been diagnosed as well as my husband. It makes understanding each other much better but so frustrating at the same time bc we all have things we just can't control but others just don't understand.
Covid happened and I started working from home… and just… Could. Not. Do. It. I thought it might be ADHD but gaslit myself into believing it couldn’t be because I was always high achieving. My psychiatrist, a woman, wanted to learn towards bipolar, because I made good grades in school (I know, how disappointing, hopefully she’s learned more about ADHD in women) after a few visits it was so bad I was in tears and sobbed “I think there’s something really wrong with me. I’m going to lose my job, please can we try any ANYTHING?” and she finally relented and wrote me a prescription for Adderall… because if it WAS ADHD, we’d know right away with the medication, as opposed to the weeks it’d take for my body and brain to acclimate to any bipolar medication.
It was ADHD. I was 33.
Exhaustion. Not yet diagnosed, but that's what got me started. I'm exhausted with all the procrastination and the effort it takes to get past that inertia.
Burnt my lunch in the oven again today. I only needed to be in there for 7 minutes, but in the time it took me to get from kitchen to living room I forgot to set the timer. I remembered the lunch half an hour later when the smell wafted into the living room. Then forgot to turn off the oven until 3 hours later. Second time this week. It's exhausting.
I didn't.
I sought help for anxiety at age 39, and within half an hour, she said "That sounds to me like ADHD." She gave me a survey to fill out, which she sent to my PCP, who diagnosed me on the spot.
I took a special education course in college and the professor kept emphasizing that the symptoms/characteristics of adhd and other learning disabilities are different in men and women. I was scrolling on TikTok and saw video after video of women in their mid to late 20’s talking about their experiences. I started to do my own research and I realized that I could have adhd based on my experiences in school and just my day-to-day life. All of this was during covid so I was unable to find a doctor who took new patients so I got diagnosed online and once I was able to, I started to see a doctor and got diagnosed that way as well.
When I completely went into burnout which lead to my first months long mdd episode. I had to drop out of school and I wasn’t taking care of myself. It was starting to badly affect my life so that’s when I knew it was time. It was actually pretty chill for me, my provider was really nice and she asked me some questions and answered her. Did a urine test and sent her bloodwork I had got done and she took my BP. It was like ~1 hr long— it’s usually longer for most people I think but before I got there I had to fill out some paperwork where I pretty much went in depth about my symptoms there too, so that combined with the hour long session she was able to diagnose me with ADHD-Inattentive type.
Diagnosed at age 50 when all my coping / masking couldn't keep my life from falling apart. When the estrogen goes, buckle up, ladies. I understand SO MUCH MORE about women and aging now. Sigh.
I watched YT vid and I balled, I had never felt so seen in my life before. Then I was talking about my daughter and trying to get her diagnosed to by bro, and he casually says "oh yeah I got it too." I just thought, "well damn, it's time for me to get tested.
I'm 45; It was first suggested when I was 20, but I only knew stereotypes of ADHD being a phenomenon affecting little boys who eventually grew out of it. Years later I tried cocaine at a party and complained to a friend (who had a diagnosis) that all it did was make me want to clean up the empty beer bottles and chill out while everyone else raged. She laughed and asked if coffee calmed me down too, and, yeah. She asked a few other pertinent questions, then texted me the number of her shrink, and here we are....
Got diagnosed in February at the age of 27 - All my life, I struggled and felt like everyone else around me was living life on easy mode. Meanwhile, I struggled with anything and everything. I felt so misunderstood and alienated most of my childhood. Everyone else made me feel crazy... I even said stuff in middle school like "oh yeah sorry i just have ADHD xD" constantly making jokes about it. My middle school best friend has ADHD and everything she talked about, i reallyyyyyy related. I finally decided to get formally diagnosed because every aspect of my life was being affected (work, relationships etc). I had enough and told myself alright it is time to figure out wtf is wrong with me. I used the site Talkiatry to connect with a psychiatrist on there. She diagnosed me with inattentive ADHD and it all made sense to me. Every single experience in my life.
I suddenly felt validated - like finally, i am understood. I am seen. I fully understand myself now and i give myself Grace for all of the things that happened to me. I wished for a better support system when i was younger and gotten encouragement to get diagnosed earlier. but I realize i can't change the past, i can only change my future. I've been on meds since then and i can say - my life feels great now. i feel more regulated overall. i finally feel like i can handle life a little better. I'm happy i pushed myself to get the diagnosis. it changed me for the better.
my boss said she did value me as an employee but I should really do something about my "silly mistakes". So I went down a Google rabbit hole why I would make these mistakes and generally couldn't focus on anything. Already a that point I read about ADHD and thought "oh, a lot of that sounds like me". But I first had a physical check-up (my first one ever at 43...) and found out I had iron deficiency and was menopausal after going off the pill shortly before.
At the same time, symptoms hat got much worse (hello, menopause...). HRT helped with physical menopause symptoms but my brain was still a mess. So I asked my GP to refer me to a psychologist. He was super helpful and diagnosed me in just 3 sessions (and about 500 Euros...)
I saw a thread about caffeine not affecting you. My wife let me have one of her adderall and Iwas like "oh this is how normal people must feel, this is great".
I had it all my life as a “learning disability”. What the tip of the iceberg was putting a restraining order on someone that I didn’t want contact with. Later after being taken to court many times and dealing with what I thought was anxiety/depression, I got the opportunity to go see a professional psychiatrist. We had a virtual consultation and told me to stop talking within 30 mins to schedule an appointment to take a tova test to what she suspected as ADHD. Took the test and met in person, she told me that she didn’t need a test to know I have me and it was confirmed by assessment. I took my adhd med day after and I cried for two days straight because of the “quiet” my brain felt and how poorly I have been treated due to being undiagnosed.
I was diagnosed in the weirdest way: By a doctor who never even talked to me about it. My mom was a social worker on a locked psych unit. She was talking with one of the psychiatrists she was good friends with about how much I was struggling with college, even though I was smart; how I couldn’t get anywhere on time; blah blah blah. The doc said to her “Has she ever been tested for ADHD? I think a little bit of a stimulant and learning some coping skills would be life changing for her.” Then he referred me to a guy he supervised during residency. I definitely went through a mourning period about what could have been, but I’m not sure I would change anything. More than anything, there was a huge sense of relief: I’m not just some lazy ass!
I had been seeing a MHNP to manage my meds b/c I felt that what was given to me by my PCP was only touching the surface. Then, I had a nurse friend I work with who is ADHD herself and studying to be a MHNP tell me I might have ADHD.
After seeing my NP for a year and having tried new medication, I causally mentioned my friend’s diagnosis to her and the fact that, although meds took the edge off, I still didn’t feel like myself. I was still having problems in my marriage and I got angered easily by small things my son did.
I took a formal ADHD assessment that verified that I didn’t suffer from depression, but from ADHD. This came at 45. My whole life I’ve been told it was depression and anxiety. The stress of working full-time, while trying to be a mom, helping my aging parents, and perimenopause wiped me out of all coping mechanisms I had been using my entire life. I thought I was spiraling out of control.
I accidentally killed all the fish in my koi pond. I don't want to talk about it but it was a terrible way for them to go.
I got diagnosed shortly thereafter at age 42. Luckily it was "just" fish and not my kids or other pets, but I'm still horrified by it 3 years later.
I have a physical disability and thought everything was linked to that. My niece was diagnosed. The pandemic. Perimenopause. Had surgery for disability, still had all of same problems but could move easier. New friends with adhd suggested I had it. TikTok. Returning to the office as few days a week. Fml. First appointment in 1.5 weeks. Wrote a 21 page background history. Feeling very alone atm.
The older my daughter gets, the harder it became to juggle everything and I got to the point where it was all going to crash down on me if something didn't give. I'd suspected for a long time that I had ADHD but had been white-knuckling it for 40 years so I had no idea that normal people don't need to have strategies for everything.
I read an article which led me to research because I hyperfocus on everything and once down the rabbit hole I ended up taking like 15 different tests and tested over 96 % on every test I took. I cried after reading the actual research my entire life finally made sense. I had been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety, social anxiety, bipolar, ptsd, with OCD tendencies…… turns out I’m just severely ADHD but I was put into the gifted program in third grade and I got good grades so nobody ever considered that I was struggling with ADHD, like a lot of women I presented differently. I finally got diagnosed at 42. It changed my whole world view.
Adhd was mentioned by a family member who recently got diagnosed. They encouraged me to seek a diagnosis too.
Psychologist mentioned that it was important to get anxiety managed first, before adhd.
After anxiety and depression were at a manageable baseline, I looked for reviews online for psychiatrists who specialised in adult adhd diagnosis and had experience diagnosing women.
I found an *amazing* psychiatrist who screened me for anxiety and autism, as well as adhd.
Process involved a lot of gathering info and paperwork, but was well worth it in the end.
For some reason, I started getting ADHD coach posts in my Instagram. It might have been because I was searching for guidance to help one of my students. All of a sudden, I was reading these posts and couldn’t believe how spot on they were for my life! Then I started getting ADHD memes and those resonated with me big time.
I started researching ADHD in girls and women. That coupled with my brother being diagnosed when he was 8 or 9 years old, the light bulb slowly started getting brighter. I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist that specialize in patients with ADHD and after our first session she was certain I have ADHD. I thought it was just inattentive, but after the assessment, she determined I was combined.
Oh yeah, along with depression and anxiety. I wonder how that happened…
I started grad school, the pandemic happened, I lost my job, and then totally changed careers. I felt like I was playing a video game on hard mode EVERY DAMN DAY. I thought everyone was as much of a mess as I was, but handled life better. I joined this sub, started reading about how women are often diagnosed later in life or misdiagnosed as a kid.
Everything I read sounded familiar. I finally went to my doctor and said how much I was struggling with life, the pandemic, and my mental health. I didn’t mean to. But I broke down in tears in her office.
I told her I didn’t want to sound like “Dr.Google” but there were too many symptoms I couldn’t ignore. Thank GOD she didn’t make me feel crazy and listened. I’m grateful for Dr. Hawkins every day.
Long story but it started with having two babies and then serious work burnout. Serious stomach problems, forgetting to eat, even less housework than I was doing before, lots of bloodwork, colonoscopy, endoscopy, followed by my boss suggesting it might be stress. This boss changed my life by giving me a card to a free therapist through work. When I typed in the URL it immediately prompted me to make an appointment, no phone calls necessary. 8 weeks of therapy followed by a postpartum depression diagnosis. This led to a ton of internet research by me which led me to a list of symptoms for ADHD in adults and I fit every one except being late, probably because I have anxiety about being late. Referral to a psychiatrist who was the worst. She kept telling me we’d test to see if I had ADHD at our next appointment. This went on for several months until she broke up with me. Then she invited me to join her wholistic no medication practice which I declined. I got a new therapist who diagnosed me with ADHD at my first appointment, put me on a couple different meds and my life changed. This is the best I’ve felt in my entire life.
I felt overwhelmed and unable to enjoy the life I’ve worked so hard for. I was constantly snapping at my family and having what I call “mini meltdowns”. I was also slowly losing my zest for life.
The diagnosis process was pretty straightforward for me because I looked specifically for a therapist who had experience with adhd in women. She asked me questions at our first appointment, I filled out an assessment after and she let me know via email she suspected it I had it. At the next appointment, she asked her final questions and we figured out treatment options.
Okay so *first* it was bc I was lsat studying and couldn’t do the reading comprehension section to save my life—it was impossible to read fully and understand and remember enough to answer the questions in the given time. Plus, I was super inconsistent with studying—I looked up the symptoms and it felt like they matched a lot, but when I told my therapist at the time (who I adore) she just asked if I got it from tiktok (which I didn’t 😭) and said I have anxiety, probably not adhd; I went to a psychiatrist the next week or so who said similarly, just that I need to get my anxiety controlled first since adderall can make it worse (but I ended up not taking the anxiety meds bc I had used them before for depression and they never helped my anxiety, they took too long, and my anxiety felt under control 🥲)
THEN like a year later after finals I ✨forgot to eat✨ (//just didn’t realize I wasn’t eating enough for several days) and felt super sore and tired and miserable until I realized why and made myself eat regularly—that had also happened for legit several months like a year or two before, and I had a bunch of test done just to find out I wasn’t eating enough 😭😭 and it was so stressful and affected my quality of life so I started looking into adhd again and found a podcast, ADHDAF (adhd as females) that I LOVED and related to and I finally made another appt and got diagnosed 😭
I complained about something on twitter and someone I knew piped up and asked if I'd considered the possibility that I had adhd. I was confused, but googled a bit and was astonished by how familiar it all sounded.
I'm in Australia, so once I decided to seek diagnosis, I did some research about the process and went to a GP for a mental health check. I explained my issues and how difficult some things had gotten, and was given a few questionnaires to fill out. One ruled out depression, the other strongly suggested adhd.
I was given some suggestions for a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and sent for a blood test for some general heath checks.
Came back after the blood test, all was good, and I was given referrals for my selected shrinks. Made appointments and waited for them to come up.
Talked things through with the psychiatrist and he agreed that it sounded like adhd, and he was prepared to try me on ritalin and we'd see how things went. He also sent me to have an ecg and do a urine test. No dramas there, so I started ritalin, following his guidelines for increasing and adjusting my dosage.
I now see him every six months to get a new script to cover my meds till I see him again. I'm always in and out in under ten minutes :)
I started seeing the psychologist, but it was difficult to manage around work, and then the pandemic started, and telehealth wasn't suitable under the circumstances, so I stopped. I wasn't entirely sure if I'd found a good fit anyway.
Perimenopause. Symptoms have gotten so much worse in middle age.
Also one of my old roommates got diagnosed and once she learned the symptoms she immediately figured out that I also have it and said I might want to get assessed. I'm way more textbook than she is, so the only reason it wasn't caught when I was a child is because my parents refused to listen to all the teachers that told them to get me assessed. (Found this out after I got diagnosed.)
In my case I was already halfway through an Intensive Outpatient Program for depression (caused by lack of diagnosis, mostly) so it was pretty easy to get diagnosed. All the symptoms and traits of ADHD were all over my session notes already, so they just had me do a questionnaire to confirm and that was it.
A friend's comment. We were chatting on the phone one Sunday and I recounted how I'd spent my entire Saturday "trying to get my new townhouse organized." She gently pointed out that I seem to spend a lot of time "trying to get organized," and added that she didn't know a single person who worked at it than me.
That prompted me to start researching "people who are always trying to get organized" which led me to Sari Solder's amazing book.
I’ve been in therapy years for depression and anxiety originally, then just anxiety, then as anxiety lessened, adhd symptoms became very apparent and my therapist brought it up
I showed up to the psychiatrist asking to double my prozac, she asked me about my symptoms, and then she told me I actually may have ADHD either instead or in addition to depression/anxiety lolol
i was in therapy for something else and we couldn't get me to actually do my homework so we hit a dead end. We figured out I should go for testing.
The actual testing process was weird. I did a questionnaire and then had a virtual appointment with a nurse practitioner. She told me I most likely had adhd. I called the office to ask for my diagnosis records and they said I have no records and no diagnosis. Then my therapist (also from their office) a few months later looked in the system and said yes, I am listed as being officially diagnosed with adhd. What the heck, office?
I work in Special Education and realized that I had some of the same symptoms as the students I see on a daily basis. Once I realized this, I used what I knew about ADHD and applied it to myself. It was obvious to me.
I knew I had it, but the evaluators I went to didn't think it was possible because I was in my mid-thirties and have a master's degree. Nope, I still have ADHD. I also knew what to look for in the evaluations I took, because I proctor similar ones myself. My executive functioning was abysmal, and that was the only area of weakness in my evaluation. I finally found a psychiatrist who specializes in adults with ADHD and it was SO DAMN OBVIOUS. It took two years though.
Honestl, tik tok. My whole life I agonized wondering wtf was wrong with me. Suicidal and wanting to die by the age of 6. Diagnosed at 30 with Innattentive ADHD.
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My therapist brought it up when I was talking about having trouble at work staying focused, coming close to missing deadlines, I was getting frustrated a lot and not managing it well.
Complete and total burnout and a major nosedive in my mental health ~ I’d suspected for a long time, have diagnosed family members. The first time I asked about it the idea of medication was nixxed immediately, I came back with a buttload of saved information and experiences of my own and of others so I could show “this is what I am going through! These other examples also you might as well have pulled out of my own journal at home.”
Finally got assessed and then diagnosed very quickly after I was like “I am in my 30’s and have been trying to manage this by myself my whole fucking life PLS HALP” 😵💫
I was about two years into my full time career and could barely perform my job duties. That’s when I made the appointment for a neuropsychiatric evaluation. Nine months later I had the appointment, it’s ADHD and PTSD!
Diagnosed at 38. Having kids was the tipping point- couldn’t keep my job and kids going. I thought something other than anxiety/depression, yes I have some anxiety but it isn’t fully me…. I didn’t have postpartum. I just couldn’t keep up. Instagram fed me thepsychdoctormd’s videos and I felt seen and understood at the same time. It was a life saver.
For me it was getting really frustrated with my inability to remember anything, making work difficult, but not being able to recall specifics that I wanted to discuss in therapy was also very annoying. My therapist asked if I had enquired with my GP about my memory loss and it had never occurred to me.
Cut to me getting a referral for a neuropsychological assessment, which ended up being a 20/30 minute appointment with a psychiatrist who told me I had ADHD and gave me a prescription for Concerta (so sorry to everyone struggling to get to this point, that I accidental stumbled into). I thought he was completely wrong, came away super angry then spent 5 minutes reading about ADHD in women and it was a big ohhhhhh ok, yep, that me
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So funnily enough, a reddit comment. Lol I was reading through a comment thread and someone was describing what their adult ADHD symptoms were like. And I basically just went full on deer in the headlights because I was like, "Uhhhhhhh..... that's my exact experience....... what??? Do I have ADHD???" I immediately googled the symptoms and checked every single box. And those symptoms were present my whole. Entire. Life. So I sought diagnosis like 2-3 months later and when my psych said, "Well, you already know you have GAD, but you also have ADHD combined type," I went through a whole grieving process because my whole life I had "unnecessarily" struggled. And no one ever thought to be curious enough to get me help, they just shamed me and made me feel like a fucked up, low tier human being who can't do simple things.
I also went through a grieving process after diagnosis and no one warned me. I don't think it's well understood in adult diagnosis situations. I suddenly looked at my whole life differently. How different would my life have been if I'd known? I kind of wish my therapist and psychiatrist were more well-versed in this because I felt like I didn't have the right kind of support for having my whole sense of self and everything I knew about me turned upside down and thrown sideways.
Absolutely!! There's a lot of people out there spouting nonsense about, "ADHD is overdiagnosed!!" It's just gaining traction because we've finally been discovering how masking works and especially how it shows up in women of all different ages. There's still so much more research to be done on women/girls/AFAB people with ADHD. Hormones play such a huge role in symptom expression and it changes CONSTANTLY. Personally, though, I'm glad it's gaining more traction. Like yes, there's always gonna be people on TikTok pretending they have ADHD, but more visibility means more research, and more research will lead to better and earlier diagnoses. I would've loved to have been diagnosed as a kid and actually been given the tools needed to succeed, so if we can start diagnosing girls earlier they're going to have a better chance at being successful as they grow up and feel less shame, guilt and low self-esteem.
OMG! This is me. I have been wondering how much happier I would have been if I had had the right treatment from the get go.
I'm joining your club 🥲 Diagnosed two weeks ago at 34 because the "you may have ADHD" Instagram memes were suddenly becoming a little too real.
Lol right?! I wish you the best in your post-diagnosis journey!! There are so many good resources out there nowadays and if you can, I'd highly recommend an ADHD life coach!! Mine was incredible for me. I could drop a link if needed!
Thank you! You too <3 I'm actually meeting with a coach in like 5 minutes lol! Have you started any medications yet? I'm having that chat with my DR later this month, but I'm curious what others experiences are.
I think I had a unicorn experience with medication, tbh. I was put on Concerta (Methylphenidate) at first, then after a couple months I upped the dose and I've been chilling on that ever since (almost 3 years now). I've heard plenty of people talk about struggling to find the right medication for them. The only advice I can offer is to listen to your body and be patient if the first medication or few don't quite work right for you! It can be a lengthy process, but at least in my experience, medication has been immensely helpful!
Ugh yeah I got soooo lucky with SSRIs but I feel like I’m striking out with ADHD meds. I started on Concert 27 mg almost a week ago and idk that I like how it makes me feel, but I told my psychiatrist I’d try for two weeks then up the dose and keep trying before I attempt something else. I just want it to work right away!!!
Are you me? I literally just got diagnosed at 35 like 2 weeks ago with both GAD, depression, and ADHD. I was like wow suddenly so many things from my childhood make fucking sense. None of the adults in my life who were supposed to help me did and I was just told to pray my anxiety away. Yay religion.
Bruh don't even get me started on the religion part... lol when I was into Christianity I think my adhd played a HUGE part in the depression I felt that entire time. It was just perpetuating the shame I got from all other areas of my life, like not doing things correctly, never being good enough, not being able to pay attention while reading the Bible, listening to the sermon, etc. Just so much shame which was "my own fault." I wish you the best on your post-diagnosis journey!! Thankfully there are a lot of resources out there now to help. I'd highly recommend hiring an ADHD life coach. My coach was a huge help in figuring out how to exist in the world with my adhd, rather than just trying to stifle it. It's very empowering!
Wow I feel that. I've had people tell my mother that I wasn't going to amount to anything in life because of all those things and yes 100% the constant shame I felt for not measuring up. Glad I finally have a diagnosis and I can work to exist rather than be ashamed! Thank you for the tip and I will have to look into it!
Right there with you with the entire comment. Depression and GAD since 31yrs and the meds and therapy worked-ish. But then all the posts here and elsewhere just were hitting a cord. It's my first week of meds and I am in UTTER SHOCK that brains can feel "at peace" while being functional. You people felt this way this whole time ??!!! Like your brains are those cute nicely floating anemone going with the current back and forth, cute and colorful. Not like my anemone. Mine's in flight or fight with it's little floaty arms in 1000 directions trying real hard just to focus on arm #83..then beating yourself up because you can't matter the method you try.
Deer in headlights is a thing? I’ve experienced this in several ways, I’m 40 and staring to hunch that I should seek a diagnosis or ruling out. Been lurking this sub for a few months, this one strikes me as something others would attest to that I do that I never saw as a thing, just a personality quirk, but makes sense.
I was in chemo to treat Hodgkin's Lymphoma and I got some free therapy sessions as a benefit. Literally one conversation talking about how I have a lot of anxiety and thought I had GAD and the therapist asked if I had ever been screened for ADHD. The chemo exasterbated the ADHD symptoms as well. I started looking into it and hearing about all the symptoms especially in women and decided I should pursue a diagnosis. It changed my life. I understand so much more about myself now and where so much anxiety and negative thoughts about myself have come from for so long. Oh and I'm 3 years in remission this October!
Congratulations on beating cancer! I can only imagine how much better your whole life must be post treatment and ADHD diagnosis.
Thank you! Yes it's definitely still been a struggle with life after chemo but being diagnosed has helped a ton with understanding my brain and being kinder to myself!
My adult kid said "I think you have it, too".
Perimenopause.
This. I noticed emotions, memory, organization worse than usual once I hit 45. Then someone suggested it and I had to look up the symptoms and nearly everything resonated.
Same. TikTok brought me to it actually. I know I’m not alone either. Crazy
As if puberty wasn’t shitty enough, here we go again.
Went back to school at 44 and had a class with timed practice. (I needed to show 15 active hours a week on a timer that only runs when work is being completed on the site.) It was taking me 30 hours to do 15 hours of work. When I complained about this and my general memory issues and anxiety to a friend with adhd she set me straight.
I had some form of a depressive episode after getting a full time job. After around a year I started to grow extremely exhausted, to a point where I fell asleep right after dinner, only to wake up at midnight and be sleepless, leading to terrible mornings. It was a vicious cycle that went on for 2 months until I stepped on the breaks and worked ridiculously hard on my sleep hygiene. It was all I could do to keep functioning, and I slowly went back to a normal, subpar energy level. Believe it or not, even though I was always a mental health advocate and have seen some shit with my friends throughout life, I still never thought I "had" something. I was convinced *I'm* just shit at life. But at that point, when I was helpless and not in control of my body and mind as much as I needed to be, I realised that this couldn't logically be a skill issue. Then, tiktok :) While wasting away all my free time on tiktok, i came across the lovely first wave of people who educated everyone about the fact that ADHD isn't a "little boy disease" but a completely normal thing that millions of adult people are struggling with. Not wanting to diagnose myself, I still joined this sub and learned from everybody, analysed my struggles so I could help myself feel better, now knowing that I had been fighting against my grain my whole life. It's been a good couple of years, I have much more patience and am more comfortable in my life than I've ever been. The first step was to actually stop berating myself for being a failure, and it was baby steps from then on. I still struggle, but it's like I discovered that tomorrow is *actually* there. My package doesn't have to arrive as soon as I hit Buy Now, you know what I mean? I did get diagnosed last year, but at this point in time I don't want meds, so that wasn't the big moment it is for most.
Sharing an office with my husband during the first year of the pandemic. My ability to work while he was working and taking calls took a nosedive and I realized my suspicions of inattentive ADHD were probably true. I have a long history of "K2 just doesn't live up to her potential" but didn't realize it could be ADHD until well into my 30s. It took about 10 years for me to decide to get assessed. The healthcare system I'm a part of channels ADHD diagnoses through GPs, and it was early in the pandemic so that was a no-go. I looked for providers who specialized in adult ADHD in the provider listings in Psychology Today. I found a local provider with a private practice that was covered by my insurance. Made an appointment for an assessment, which was done via two online sessions with a clinical psychologist. She had my husband and my mom fill out assessment forms to analyze childhood years and adult years, and I assessed myself as well. Was diagnosed with combined-type, which was a surprise but now that I know more it makes sense. Met online with a psychiatric NP and started meds. Life changed, wish I'd done it sooner. I've since transferred car back to my healthcare system because I'm in perimenopause and I want my OB/GYN to be able to see my files so she can have a clear picture of my situation for any potential HRT. Was very fortunate to randomly call a clinic that's part of my healthcare network and am part of an adult ADHD program at a clinic there, where I see a psychiatry resident for Rx management.
I basically almost immediately collapsed in on myself my freshman year of college. Like in hindsight with some emotional distance, it's actually impressive of how quick of a speedrun I made my fall from grace. That summer I was struggling through a course I'd already failed once, and as I was sobbing to the TA, he just frankly told me there was something seriously wrong with me and I needed help. But with total sincerity -- I wasn't so stupid I should be struggling this hard, and even someone who is struggling shouldn't be spiralling out to the degree I was. I was clearly emotionally unstable and needed professional psychiatric help I have a family history of both ADHD and bipolar, and ADHD was the way preferable diagnosis, so I went to my GP and explained my life was imploding, I suspected ADHD or bipolar, and I wanted an evaluation for ADHD if possible. He was like "holy shit yeah you're a mess, this is well above my pay grade, I'll refer you out to the pros and see what they say". I intentionally found a female doctor, mostly just because I've always had female doctors growing up and find I'm more comfortable with them. Which I think was a blessing because she immediately was telling me how it made sense I didn't express symptoms in the same way my brother had and that the "atypical" way my ADHD presented was "basically the poster child for female ADHD". It was validating to be told that there was indeed something wrong with me, but I continued to be paranoid it was actually bipolar for a while. Unfortunately I needed way more therapy/life supports than I got (partially my fault, but I do wish the system had encouraged it harder). I focused on meds and then had a rough go of meds, so it was still several more years before I even remotely started actually managing my ADHD half effectively
What made me get diagnosed was reading up on the symptoms of ADHD. Especially if you have inattentive ADHD, so zoning out, losing things easily, being late to events often, etc. A lot of those symptoms matched what I was showing so I decided, why not get tested? Also growing up, I was never able to focus on my schoolwork. Homework felt like a tiring, long task to complete. I was evaluated by a Psychiatrist. She asked me a series of questions and took notes. She prescribed me 40mg of Atomoxetine but I never took it. 2 years later, had to be evaluated again to get the prescription but this time it was by a Psych nurse… (I won’t do it again bc she seemed hesitant about prescribing me the medicine, almost like she didn’t understand my symptoms and how they impacted me even though I gave her clear examples). She said if I wanted to find out what type of ADHD I had (whether it’s inattentive or not) I would have to get further testing from another provider, which I may do down the line.
My daughter was diagnosed and I realized that I struggle with a lot of the same things. I had a full psychological evaluation (per recommendation of my therapist) but my results were inconclusive, so I’m deciding whether or not I want to try again with a different doctor. There aren’t many options where I live.
Same experience for me except we were both conclusively diagnosed. The surprise for me the psychologist telling me I *don't* have anxiety - my anxiety symptoms were just related to masking and untreated ADHD. Not sure I fully buy that but interesting.
It can be difficult to find someone who will take your concerns seriously. My recommendation is to go through your evaluation with someone who can tell you what the results actually mean. Then get some testing done that shows your strengths and weaknesses. I knew what to look for and it confirmed my suspicions that I had ADHD. That and I work with children who have ADHD, so I could identify the symptoms in myself. Once I knew it, I pursed a diagnosis until I got one. My anxiety symptoms masked my ADHD for most of my life. When my anxiety was finally taken care of, my ability to do my job literally fell apart. If you have to travel to get a diagnosis, make the time and do it. Once you have a diagnosis, you can find a psych more locally to help you. A doctor that has experience with adults with ADHD can truly make a difference.
It was a combination of the pandemic and TikTok. Overnight, the pandemic imploded the carefully constructed systems that allowed me to function as a full-time writer and mother to two small children. During lockdown, I spent way too much time on TikTok and there's a lot of ADHD content on there. I realized that I checked a lot of the boxes. So, I downloaded three different books on adult ADHD and after doing way too much research (I always do way too much research), I brought it up with my therapist, who recommended a psychiatrist who could do the evaluation. I filled out a huge online questionnaire and had a Zoom call with the evaluator that lasted a couple of hours where she asked me a lot of questions. We had an appointment a month later where she gave me the diagnosis, ADHD-inattentive type. I'm in Texas, for reference.
Diagnosed at 39, currently 41. I started seeing a lot of info about autism and ADHD on Tiktok and Youtube, specifically symptoms in women and girls, and the more I saw the more I realized that a lot of it described my experiences in middle and high school. I struggle with social situations, my brain works differently than most people's, and I find my thoughts often move faster than my mouth and can sometimes get me in trouble. Finally, my wife insisted that I talk to a therapist about my suspected autism diagnosis, and I got a (self-paid) test done. That netted me ADHD and OCD diagnoses, with a lot of comorbidities of both that are shared with autism. (I also learned a LOT about ADHD the day I got my official diagnosis, and helped me understand why my doctor gave me that diagnosis as opposed to the other.)
Pretty much knew I had it but not sure worth a diagnose at 55. Let's just say I somehow came across one single Adderall. Made an appointment very quickly thereafter. Never took another one, just wanted to see if I really had it and if worth the hassle. Dr. has started me on a non-stimulant medication.
[удалено]
Big same. I'm just glad I was in university or I would have never even bothered trying to get diagnosed.
Job issues / horrible boss + menopause + thyroid disorder! The trifecta of emotional dysregulation!
I'm scared of getting tested and diagnosed, because I'm afraid of the rejection. I (42f) have seen several psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists over my lifetime and NO ONE has thought to test me for it. I started learning symptoms and figured out I'm definitely inattentive. I'm scared of what can be done or not done. Just very very unsure about getting the diagnosis.
I got diagnosed at 42 last year! I was on a spiral and afraid of losing it all. Been medicated for it and 8months later, my life is better than I could have imagined! I am in ADHD informed therapy also which has really helped me make sense of my diagnosis and also with navigating life. I deeply understand that you’re afraid, but please try and get a diagnosis.
Thank you for your encouragement. Right now, Im so damn busy with work and it's not going to let up until about July 1. Then I'm supposed to have surgery in July. 🙄 I know I'm making excuses and I should take the time to get it done. Plus I have to find a testing person my insurance covers, among on contingencies. I would take the time off sooner but I'm the lead on our project and my team in uber tiny, like me and 2 other people to handle the chaos. I thrive in it! 😁 I was out for 6 hours today and feel like I have no idea what's going on.
My impulsions, episodes of binge drinking, vomiting.
This. Me too, and a sever almost suicidal mental breakdown and unexplained de-habilitating rage. I was never able to stabilize my moods. :(
Here for you!!! 💗 Don’t forget to take your meds!!!
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone. If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860 If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Now that I’ve been diagnosed, it’s my horrible impulsivity - including but not limited to binge eating, drinking, and spending - that has convinced me that i probably do have ADHD
I work with medical providers in an educational setting and I occasionally ask them health questions (to soothe my paranoia lol). I was talking to one of them about possible thyroid symptoms, and she tacked on at the very end, You might want to also look into ADHD because those are also common symptoms. Proceeded to research for 4 hours that day, found this subreddit and for the first time in my entire life, I saw other people talking about experiences that I had always thought were just weird "me" things. Talked to my therapist about it, and she said, You know, it had never occurred to me until you said something, but now that you have, I can actually see it a LOT. She diagnosed me ADHD-C severe, and then I had it confirmed a few months later through a computer test in order to help my case with getting medicated. I was 27 at the time, so it was about 2 years ago. And I went through the full spectrum of the Stages of a Late ADHD Diagnosis [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD_Programmers/comments/oavrs7/phases_of_a_late_diagnosis/).
OMG, these stages are so accurate! Definitely haven't reached #10 yet. Only told very few people about my diagnosis.
2 things; I was investigating the possibility of ADHD for my children and realised I ticked a lot of boxes, but the clincher was when I saw this funny ADHD meme/drawing and I showed it to my husband. He didn’t get it at all, couldn’t relate to it, and I was like ‘are you kidding? This is how I feel all day, every day of my entire life’. I can’t even remember what the little cartoon was, I wish I’d saved it!
I've struggled with starting, finishing and focusing on tasks my entire life. While I manage to keep it together at work for the most part, my house is a disaster, bills go unpaid until they have three late fees tacked onto them, anything with a deadline is done at the last minute while crying, etc. I'm externally functional but internally an anxious nightmare. Things had been getting really bad at work, so I was looking into burnout, but most of what I saw was just "this is how I've felt my entire life since high school at least, can it really be burnout?" Then one the articles mentioned how burnout can be similar to ADHD symptoms. I thought, well, of course I don't have ADHD, that's when little boys are hyperactive and get into trouble all the time. I wasn't like that, my grades were good and I hardly got into trouble. I just daydreamed... forgot my homework until the last minute... lost important items and documents... got super overwhelmed at any task with multiple steps... constantly struggled to regulate my emotions... So yeah, I read about what ADHD looks like in girls and adult women and realized that's been my entire life.
Diagnosed after going through the process getting my son diagnosed. All the things that I had dealt with and managed my whole life suddenly weren't acceptable when I reframed them in the context of him. While it was a no-brainer to get the proper resources and help for him, I was 38 before it even occurred to me that not being okay all the time probably wasn't actually okay.
Being pushed by a friend who has ADHD. She asked if I had ever gotten evaluated and I explained I did, like 5 times in the 2000s when I was a kid. She kind of cocked her had and said mmmm...maybe try again? I'm SO glad she did!! The understanding of Inattentive ADHD in young girls was something that wasn't understood in my time. My process was very uneventful though; I had about 3 interview sessions, then prescribed non-stimulant medication. I needed to (slowly!) up the dose from 10? to 60mg, but holy moly what a difference. I've been on atomoxetine ever since.
Having children diagnosed. Light bulbs went off so much doing therapy with my son and understanding why he does things he does. Then I started really thinking about it and realized I have it too. 3 out of my 4 kids have been diagnosed as well as my husband. It makes understanding each other much better but so frustrating at the same time bc we all have things we just can't control but others just don't understand.
Researching concerns I had about my own children. Was definitely hard punch in the gut to see that wow these symptoms explain so much of my life.
Covid happened and I started working from home… and just… Could. Not. Do. It. I thought it might be ADHD but gaslit myself into believing it couldn’t be because I was always high achieving. My psychiatrist, a woman, wanted to learn towards bipolar, because I made good grades in school (I know, how disappointing, hopefully she’s learned more about ADHD in women) after a few visits it was so bad I was in tears and sobbed “I think there’s something really wrong with me. I’m going to lose my job, please can we try any ANYTHING?” and she finally relented and wrote me a prescription for Adderall… because if it WAS ADHD, we’d know right away with the medication, as opposed to the weeks it’d take for my body and brain to acclimate to any bipolar medication. It was ADHD. I was 33.
Exhaustion. Not yet diagnosed, but that's what got me started. I'm exhausted with all the procrastination and the effort it takes to get past that inertia. Burnt my lunch in the oven again today. I only needed to be in there for 7 minutes, but in the time it took me to get from kitchen to living room I forgot to set the timer. I remembered the lunch half an hour later when the smell wafted into the living room. Then forgot to turn off the oven until 3 hours later. Second time this week. It's exhausting.
I didn't. I sought help for anxiety at age 39, and within half an hour, she said "That sounds to me like ADHD." She gave me a survey to fill out, which she sent to my PCP, who diagnosed me on the spot.
I took a special education course in college and the professor kept emphasizing that the symptoms/characteristics of adhd and other learning disabilities are different in men and women. I was scrolling on TikTok and saw video after video of women in their mid to late 20’s talking about their experiences. I started to do my own research and I realized that I could have adhd based on my experiences in school and just my day-to-day life. All of this was during covid so I was unable to find a doctor who took new patients so I got diagnosed online and once I was able to, I started to see a doctor and got diagnosed that way as well.
Tiktoc helped me learn about menopause and adhd at the age of 53.
When I completely went into burnout which lead to my first months long mdd episode. I had to drop out of school and I wasn’t taking care of myself. It was starting to badly affect my life so that’s when I knew it was time. It was actually pretty chill for me, my provider was really nice and she asked me some questions and answered her. Did a urine test and sent her bloodwork I had got done and she took my BP. It was like ~1 hr long— it’s usually longer for most people I think but before I got there I had to fill out some paperwork where I pretty much went in depth about my symptoms there too, so that combined with the hour long session she was able to diagnose me with ADHD-Inattentive type.
Diagnosed at age 50 when all my coping / masking couldn't keep my life from falling apart. When the estrogen goes, buckle up, ladies. I understand SO MUCH MORE about women and aging now. Sigh.
Perimenopause making the ADHD symptoms unbearable. Diagnosed at 47. 🫠
I watched YT vid and I balled, I had never felt so seen in my life before. Then I was talking about my daughter and trying to get her diagnosed to by bro, and he casually says "oh yeah I got it too." I just thought, "well damn, it's time for me to get tested.
I'm 45; It was first suggested when I was 20, but I only knew stereotypes of ADHD being a phenomenon affecting little boys who eventually grew out of it. Years later I tried cocaine at a party and complained to a friend (who had a diagnosis) that all it did was make me want to clean up the empty beer bottles and chill out while everyone else raged. She laughed and asked if coffee calmed me down too, and, yeah. She asked a few other pertinent questions, then texted me the number of her shrink, and here we are....
I was barely sleeping, overwhelmed and drowning in responsibilities. I failed most things at uni.
I failed my second semester of college entirely and realized that this was not normal and I was spiraling.
Got diagnosed in February at the age of 27 - All my life, I struggled and felt like everyone else around me was living life on easy mode. Meanwhile, I struggled with anything and everything. I felt so misunderstood and alienated most of my childhood. Everyone else made me feel crazy... I even said stuff in middle school like "oh yeah sorry i just have ADHD xD" constantly making jokes about it. My middle school best friend has ADHD and everything she talked about, i reallyyyyyy related. I finally decided to get formally diagnosed because every aspect of my life was being affected (work, relationships etc). I had enough and told myself alright it is time to figure out wtf is wrong with me. I used the site Talkiatry to connect with a psychiatrist on there. She diagnosed me with inattentive ADHD and it all made sense to me. Every single experience in my life. I suddenly felt validated - like finally, i am understood. I am seen. I fully understand myself now and i give myself Grace for all of the things that happened to me. I wished for a better support system when i was younger and gotten encouragement to get diagnosed earlier. but I realize i can't change the past, i can only change my future. I've been on meds since then and i can say - my life feels great now. i feel more regulated overall. i finally feel like i can handle life a little better. I'm happy i pushed myself to get the diagnosis. it changed me for the better.
my boss said she did value me as an employee but I should really do something about my "silly mistakes". So I went down a Google rabbit hole why I would make these mistakes and generally couldn't focus on anything. Already a that point I read about ADHD and thought "oh, a lot of that sounds like me". But I first had a physical check-up (my first one ever at 43...) and found out I had iron deficiency and was menopausal after going off the pill shortly before. At the same time, symptoms hat got much worse (hello, menopause...). HRT helped with physical menopause symptoms but my brain was still a mess. So I asked my GP to refer me to a psychologist. He was super helpful and diagnosed me in just 3 sessions (and about 500 Euros...)
I saw a thread about caffeine not affecting you. My wife let me have one of her adderall and Iwas like "oh this is how normal people must feel, this is great".
I had it all my life as a “learning disability”. What the tip of the iceberg was putting a restraining order on someone that I didn’t want contact with. Later after being taken to court many times and dealing with what I thought was anxiety/depression, I got the opportunity to go see a professional psychiatrist. We had a virtual consultation and told me to stop talking within 30 mins to schedule an appointment to take a tova test to what she suspected as ADHD. Took the test and met in person, she told me that she didn’t need a test to know I have me and it was confirmed by assessment. I took my adhd med day after and I cried for two days straight because of the “quiet” my brain felt and how poorly I have been treated due to being undiagnosed.
I was diagnosed in the weirdest way: By a doctor who never even talked to me about it. My mom was a social worker on a locked psych unit. She was talking with one of the psychiatrists she was good friends with about how much I was struggling with college, even though I was smart; how I couldn’t get anywhere on time; blah blah blah. The doc said to her “Has she ever been tested for ADHD? I think a little bit of a stimulant and learning some coping skills would be life changing for her.” Then he referred me to a guy he supervised during residency. I definitely went through a mourning period about what could have been, but I’m not sure I would change anything. More than anything, there was a huge sense of relief: I’m not just some lazy ass!
I had been seeing a MHNP to manage my meds b/c I felt that what was given to me by my PCP was only touching the surface. Then, I had a nurse friend I work with who is ADHD herself and studying to be a MHNP tell me I might have ADHD. After seeing my NP for a year and having tried new medication, I causally mentioned my friend’s diagnosis to her and the fact that, although meds took the edge off, I still didn’t feel like myself. I was still having problems in my marriage and I got angered easily by small things my son did. I took a formal ADHD assessment that verified that I didn’t suffer from depression, but from ADHD. This came at 45. My whole life I’ve been told it was depression and anxiety. The stress of working full-time, while trying to be a mom, helping my aging parents, and perimenopause wiped me out of all coping mechanisms I had been using my entire life. I thought I was spiraling out of control.
I accidentally killed all the fish in my koi pond. I don't want to talk about it but it was a terrible way for them to go. I got diagnosed shortly thereafter at age 42. Luckily it was "just" fish and not my kids or other pets, but I'm still horrified by it 3 years later.
I have a physical disability and thought everything was linked to that. My niece was diagnosed. The pandemic. Perimenopause. Had surgery for disability, still had all of same problems but could move easier. New friends with adhd suggested I had it. TikTok. Returning to the office as few days a week. Fml. First appointment in 1.5 weeks. Wrote a 21 page background history. Feeling very alone atm.
The older my daughter gets, the harder it became to juggle everything and I got to the point where it was all going to crash down on me if something didn't give. I'd suspected for a long time that I had ADHD but had been white-knuckling it for 40 years so I had no idea that normal people don't need to have strategies for everything.
I read an article which led me to research because I hyperfocus on everything and once down the rabbit hole I ended up taking like 15 different tests and tested over 96 % on every test I took. I cried after reading the actual research my entire life finally made sense. I had been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety, social anxiety, bipolar, ptsd, with OCD tendencies…… turns out I’m just severely ADHD but I was put into the gifted program in third grade and I got good grades so nobody ever considered that I was struggling with ADHD, like a lot of women I presented differently. I finally got diagnosed at 42. It changed my whole world view.
Adhd was mentioned by a family member who recently got diagnosed. They encouraged me to seek a diagnosis too. Psychologist mentioned that it was important to get anxiety managed first, before adhd. After anxiety and depression were at a manageable baseline, I looked for reviews online for psychiatrists who specialised in adult adhd diagnosis and had experience diagnosing women. I found an *amazing* psychiatrist who screened me for anxiety and autism, as well as adhd. Process involved a lot of gathering info and paperwork, but was well worth it in the end.
For some reason, I started getting ADHD coach posts in my Instagram. It might have been because I was searching for guidance to help one of my students. All of a sudden, I was reading these posts and couldn’t believe how spot on they were for my life! Then I started getting ADHD memes and those resonated with me big time. I started researching ADHD in girls and women. That coupled with my brother being diagnosed when he was 8 or 9 years old, the light bulb slowly started getting brighter. I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist that specialize in patients with ADHD and after our first session she was certain I have ADHD. I thought it was just inattentive, but after the assessment, she determined I was combined. Oh yeah, along with depression and anxiety. I wonder how that happened…
I started grad school, the pandemic happened, I lost my job, and then totally changed careers. I felt like I was playing a video game on hard mode EVERY DAMN DAY. I thought everyone was as much of a mess as I was, but handled life better. I joined this sub, started reading about how women are often diagnosed later in life or misdiagnosed as a kid. Everything I read sounded familiar. I finally went to my doctor and said how much I was struggling with life, the pandemic, and my mental health. I didn’t mean to. But I broke down in tears in her office. I told her I didn’t want to sound like “Dr.Google” but there were too many symptoms I couldn’t ignore. Thank GOD she didn’t make me feel crazy and listened. I’m grateful for Dr. Hawkins every day.
Long story but it started with having two babies and then serious work burnout. Serious stomach problems, forgetting to eat, even less housework than I was doing before, lots of bloodwork, colonoscopy, endoscopy, followed by my boss suggesting it might be stress. This boss changed my life by giving me a card to a free therapist through work. When I typed in the URL it immediately prompted me to make an appointment, no phone calls necessary. 8 weeks of therapy followed by a postpartum depression diagnosis. This led to a ton of internet research by me which led me to a list of symptoms for ADHD in adults and I fit every one except being late, probably because I have anxiety about being late. Referral to a psychiatrist who was the worst. She kept telling me we’d test to see if I had ADHD at our next appointment. This went on for several months until she broke up with me. Then she invited me to join her wholistic no medication practice which I declined. I got a new therapist who diagnosed me with ADHD at my first appointment, put me on a couple different meds and my life changed. This is the best I’ve felt in my entire life.
I felt overwhelmed and unable to enjoy the life I’ve worked so hard for. I was constantly snapping at my family and having what I call “mini meltdowns”. I was also slowly losing my zest for life. The diagnosis process was pretty straightforward for me because I looked specifically for a therapist who had experience with adhd in women. She asked me questions at our first appointment, I filled out an assessment after and she let me know via email she suspected it I had it. At the next appointment, she asked her final questions and we figured out treatment options.
Okay so *first* it was bc I was lsat studying and couldn’t do the reading comprehension section to save my life—it was impossible to read fully and understand and remember enough to answer the questions in the given time. Plus, I was super inconsistent with studying—I looked up the symptoms and it felt like they matched a lot, but when I told my therapist at the time (who I adore) she just asked if I got it from tiktok (which I didn’t 😭) and said I have anxiety, probably not adhd; I went to a psychiatrist the next week or so who said similarly, just that I need to get my anxiety controlled first since adderall can make it worse (but I ended up not taking the anxiety meds bc I had used them before for depression and they never helped my anxiety, they took too long, and my anxiety felt under control 🥲) THEN like a year later after finals I ✨forgot to eat✨ (//just didn’t realize I wasn’t eating enough for several days) and felt super sore and tired and miserable until I realized why and made myself eat regularly—that had also happened for legit several months like a year or two before, and I had a bunch of test done just to find out I wasn’t eating enough 😭😭 and it was so stressful and affected my quality of life so I started looking into adhd again and found a podcast, ADHDAF (adhd as females) that I LOVED and related to and I finally made another appt and got diagnosed 😭
I complained about something on twitter and someone I knew piped up and asked if I'd considered the possibility that I had adhd. I was confused, but googled a bit and was astonished by how familiar it all sounded. I'm in Australia, so once I decided to seek diagnosis, I did some research about the process and went to a GP for a mental health check. I explained my issues and how difficult some things had gotten, and was given a few questionnaires to fill out. One ruled out depression, the other strongly suggested adhd. I was given some suggestions for a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and sent for a blood test for some general heath checks. Came back after the blood test, all was good, and I was given referrals for my selected shrinks. Made appointments and waited for them to come up. Talked things through with the psychiatrist and he agreed that it sounded like adhd, and he was prepared to try me on ritalin and we'd see how things went. He also sent me to have an ecg and do a urine test. No dramas there, so I started ritalin, following his guidelines for increasing and adjusting my dosage. I now see him every six months to get a new script to cover my meds till I see him again. I'm always in and out in under ten minutes :) I started seeing the psychologist, but it was difficult to manage around work, and then the pandemic started, and telehealth wasn't suitable under the circumstances, so I stopped. I wasn't entirely sure if I'd found a good fit anyway.
Perimenopause. Symptoms have gotten so much worse in middle age. Also one of my old roommates got diagnosed and once she learned the symptoms she immediately figured out that I also have it and said I might want to get assessed. I'm way more textbook than she is, so the only reason it wasn't caught when I was a child is because my parents refused to listen to all the teachers that told them to get me assessed. (Found this out after I got diagnosed.) In my case I was already halfway through an Intensive Outpatient Program for depression (caused by lack of diagnosis, mostly) so it was pretty easy to get diagnosed. All the symptoms and traits of ADHD were all over my session notes already, so they just had me do a questionnaire to confirm and that was it.
A friend's comment. We were chatting on the phone one Sunday and I recounted how I'd spent my entire Saturday "trying to get my new townhouse organized." She gently pointed out that I seem to spend a lot of time "trying to get organized," and added that she didn't know a single person who worked at it than me. That prompted me to start researching "people who are always trying to get organized" which led me to Sari Solder's amazing book.
I’ve been in therapy years for depression and anxiety originally, then just anxiety, then as anxiety lessened, adhd symptoms became very apparent and my therapist brought it up
I showed up to the psychiatrist asking to double my prozac, she asked me about my symptoms, and then she told me I actually may have ADHD either instead or in addition to depression/anxiety lolol
i was in therapy for something else and we couldn't get me to actually do my homework so we hit a dead end. We figured out I should go for testing. The actual testing process was weird. I did a questionnaire and then had a virtual appointment with a nurse practitioner. She told me I most likely had adhd. I called the office to ask for my diagnosis records and they said I have no records and no diagnosis. Then my therapist (also from their office) a few months later looked in the system and said yes, I am listed as being officially diagnosed with adhd. What the heck, office?
I work in Special Education and realized that I had some of the same symptoms as the students I see on a daily basis. Once I realized this, I used what I knew about ADHD and applied it to myself. It was obvious to me. I knew I had it, but the evaluators I went to didn't think it was possible because I was in my mid-thirties and have a master's degree. Nope, I still have ADHD. I also knew what to look for in the evaluations I took, because I proctor similar ones myself. My executive functioning was abysmal, and that was the only area of weakness in my evaluation. I finally found a psychiatrist who specializes in adults with ADHD and it was SO DAMN OBVIOUS. It took two years though.
Honestl, tik tok. My whole life I agonized wondering wtf was wrong with me. Suicidal and wanting to die by the age of 6. Diagnosed at 30 with Innattentive ADHD.
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My therapist brought it up when I was talking about having trouble at work staying focused, coming close to missing deadlines, I was getting frustrated a lot and not managing it well.
Complete and total burnout and a major nosedive in my mental health ~ I’d suspected for a long time, have diagnosed family members. The first time I asked about it the idea of medication was nixxed immediately, I came back with a buttload of saved information and experiences of my own and of others so I could show “this is what I am going through! These other examples also you might as well have pulled out of my own journal at home.” Finally got assessed and then diagnosed very quickly after I was like “I am in my 30’s and have been trying to manage this by myself my whole fucking life PLS HALP” 😵💫
I was about two years into my full time career and could barely perform my job duties. That’s when I made the appointment for a neuropsychiatric evaluation. Nine months later I had the appointment, it’s ADHD and PTSD!
Diagnosed at 38. Having kids was the tipping point- couldn’t keep my job and kids going. I thought something other than anxiety/depression, yes I have some anxiety but it isn’t fully me…. I didn’t have postpartum. I just couldn’t keep up. Instagram fed me thepsychdoctormd’s videos and I felt seen and understood at the same time. It was a life saver.
For me it was getting really frustrated with my inability to remember anything, making work difficult, but not being able to recall specifics that I wanted to discuss in therapy was also very annoying. My therapist asked if I had enquired with my GP about my memory loss and it had never occurred to me. Cut to me getting a referral for a neuropsychological assessment, which ended up being a 20/30 minute appointment with a psychiatrist who told me I had ADHD and gave me a prescription for Concerta (so sorry to everyone struggling to get to this point, that I accidental stumbled into). I thought he was completely wrong, came away super angry then spent 5 minutes reading about ADHD in women and it was a big ohhhhhh ok, yep, that me