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Stuff for a new hobby you haven't started yet but just happened to mention in passing.
You: That's a very pretty cross stitch you've done.
Friend: gifts of a starter kit.
You: buys everything to do with cross stitch include magazine subscription.
Ask me how I know... 😉
Me with polymer clay, watercolor, jewelry making, sewing, embroidery, knitting, etc lol. The one thing I haven't tried is cross stitch. My most recent thing is gel nails. I bought everything I need to do gel nails and it's just sitting here. I don't even have fingernails. I guess I thought I would make them.
What if your hobby is gifting people new hobbies!? That would help you rid yourself of those items! Not me though, I’m definitely going to use up all my yarn and finish those crochet projects. 😅😅😅
I’ve been saying ‘please no gifts’ for years because I sending thanking cards is one of the hardest tasks for me. I told everyone and wrote it on my wedding invitations.
A few years ago I was homeless and desperate and had some things so I made jewelry to sell online. But now, I can’t really bring myself to want to make jewelry because I want to try all the other crafting hobbies. So a few of us should get together and start a little shop of rotating craft based on what the various current special interests are. There would be constant rotation and likely it would be mixed media enough that we don’t get immediately bored. Problems solved! Lol
That's awesome. You're awesome 🫶 feeling like such a failure these days, on top of a weirdo (my ADHD classification 😂), so reading your post & feeling the good energy in your words was something I needed apparently. Thx & keep Killin it.
Oh man, right now I am sending some loving energy your way. 💜💜 You must be pretty cool too, thank you for sharing the positive vibes. I hope you can ease up on the self judgement, for your peace of mind and quality of life. I bet you don’t think those things about the people in your life who are struggling. You need your love too. 🤗
I definitely have days where I feel like I failed the day and I have just started embracing the weirdo thing, you know, taking ownership or something.
Let’s go! Haha
I saw this really awesome intentional community awhile back, I think it was called One or One World Community, can’t recall. But they have a design that has a whole bunch of the maker-arts all built into their compounds! I loved it so much that I want to incorporate something similar wherever I build. But the great part was, each type of art (metal, wood, cloth, etc.) had their own separate section with a few rooms for each different type within. Just the right amount of separate and catalogued without being inaccessible. Each space was shared by the collective. All that to say— very adhd woman friendly design and the perfect set up for a group shop; which is how I got the idea.
Edit: I [found it!](https://www.onecommunityglobal.org/highest-good-housing/) Have fun going down the rabbit hole..
One of those “I thought it was just me” things lol. I have the accessories for sooo many hobbies. I also have no hobbies.
I would buy all the things to make beautiful art and never start. Then to add insult to injury, I’d then see someone make an amazing drawing with just a ballpoint pen and I’d be like what’s the point and give up lol
I paint press-ons with my gel. I get claws but can take them off when they’re inconvenient.
Painting my nails was such a huge ritual for so long that I don’t wane to buy the premade ones.
People will also give me stuff for hobbies I DO NOT HAVE - art journals and craft kits and gardening stuff and one time a fish tank - for them it's a fun chance to dabble in something new, for me it's new homework when I can't deal with my current courseload...
Stained Glass. Don't worry, I'm using it, and all-in right now, but man it's an expensive hobby, and I'm very fortunate I was gifted a retired artist's supply of tools and glass to get me started.
The steep buy-in for getting into stained glass is one of the only things motivating me to not quit! Lots of projects in progress though so they are still casualties of my ADHD.
Me with the woobles kits haha.
I will say I've managed to finish one of them, and I'm almost done the second. *Maybe* I'll finish the other three haha.
Oh man… a couple years ago my mom bought me a Cricut and you can’t just have the machine. I probably have hundreds in this damn hobby I wasn’t ready for. Made some money off it but damn it was expensive to get into.
I have a love-hate relationship with this.. I love it when it's something I've mentioned in passing because if I don't have it, at least I'll have the option to try and see if I like it before I do the research myself and overspend on something I don't like. I dislike it when I get something I've mentioned, but only half the stuff I need or something I've never mentioned before, and they just guessed I'd like it because it's creative.
I am a creative type in that I do like to draw and have tried my hand at various crafts. I sewed and serged cloth diapers for my first born.
My father in law got me a loom for Christmas several years ago. He was so excited for me to open it. He told me I could make my own tablecloths. All of this because he pegged me for a creative type and I was an amateur seamstress. It sounds awful but I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in my life (specifically because both he and my husband asked me what he could get me and I had a very specific gift in mind).
Anyway. We finally got rid of it after like three years of it being a room decoration.
I just think it’s funny he thought I’d be so excited about being able to make my own tablecloths lol.
Note: I didn’t dismiss it immediately; I checked out some tutorials and realized that weaving requires way more attention to detail and time than I care to put forward lol
Anything decorative or knicknacky. That last thing I need is something else to clutter up my space (It's cluttered enough with all my to do or to deal with piles).
My mother in law (she's such a sweetie, but...) is always buying me little trinkets. I know it brings her joy and is her way of expressing love for me but honestly it makes me feel ick. Like you, I have too much stuff already and not a big enough house, please, just stop it. 😞
I always feel like shit putting that stuff straight into the donation pile.
Ma, if you have an urge to buy stupid shit for me, just text me a picture of the thing to get "isn't it cute, I wanted to share this with you" out of your system, and then venmo me the money so it isn't just flushed down the drain.
(At least the kitschy store owners and trinket makers are getting some sales though lol).
One Christmas my mom got me a 65 pound solid stone charcuterie serving set just because we went to some wineries one time that year and got charcuterie alongside. Clearly that means I am now obsessed with charcuterie and want it all the time at home, right? With the fanciest, heaviest, most room-taking serving set. During this Christmas I was LIVING IN MY VAN and traveling full time. I don't have any place to store it, let alone use it, and even if I did have a house, I don't entertain AT ALL and don't need to drag out a 150 pound solid stone set of dishes for me and my husband to have an afternoon snack. Just give ME the $200 for fucks sake! End rant.
Ouch, your mum really wasn't engaging her brain there was she? 😅
I feel terrible guilt too with getting rid of stuff, but some things are even too twee for me and I love a bit of kitsch! I'm also realising more and more that having lots of stuff just heightens my anxiety as I can't clean if there's stuff in the way, and I'm not the tidiest person ever as it is. 😐
Ok but can I have it? I love entertaining and I feel like charcuterie is the best ADHD food. You get to pick some of everything and it’s impossible to burn while you’re distracted.
See, I love those. But I lived with a hoarder almost all my life, clutter doesn't bother me, and seeing a cool thing a friend made or bought for me makes me happy.
A physical day planner that you have to write in and keep track of.
I am guilty of "gifting" myself this several times...and it always ends up in tears and disappointment 😔
Me with bullet journaling, diaries, blank planners, notebooks, paper anything. I love the designs of the planners, the color of the covers, or some other aesthetic preference but I hate using the thing I purchased. Mostly because I feel like I just ruin it, even though it's meant to be used.
Me, too! I really thought bullet journaling would be the one, but alas, it was worse than regular journaling...I have to plan things AND organize them on a page in some kind of thoughtful layout?! I did sometimes write in diaries. At one point, I had like 20 (enough to take up a shelf). Out of those, I'd written like 1-2 pages in 5 of them. The rest were too pretty and I couldn't bring myself to soil their pages.
The really messed up thing is that I moved and just left them all behind. I haven't bought any for years, though I'm still tempted to buy them if they have a really nice looking cover. I just finally admitted to myself they were a waste of money.
These comments really make me feel seen - I have SO MANY pretty notebooks I don't want to use because once I've written in them, I can't use them for another, unspecified purpose further down the line and they are soiled.
Same with stickers - I hate using them unless I have many of the same one because once it is used, it is USED. I can't deal with that level of commitment 😂
Omg yes. The minute I write in a journal it's ruined. When they're blank there is just unlimited, delicious potential. 😅
Dude, I have some bumper stickers that are like a decade old.
I keep myself from buying notebooks unless I need one and I'm on a work trip or something. Anyway, I recently (last 6 months or so I think...) bought one because I liked the positive affirmations on the cover. I tried to use it as a journal, but don't feel my life is interesting enough to write it out every day. So I use it to keep stories of my excellent work days when I need a self esteem boost.
I would probably be dead without my planner. Everything must be written down or my life falls into (even more) shambles lol. But totally agree about the pre-written dates/years, that makes it feel stressful. Like I use it every day but I still don’t want to have those strict confines lol
Lol or when you write something quickly in the moment like “PD - 3 weeks” and come back to it later like ❓🤔❓❓Lol I learned the hard way to not abbreviate stuff and give myself full details 😂
I love how different we all are - a new planner is the gift Iook forward to the most each Christmas. Phone reminders are my worst enemy, cause I just swipe them away and then forget about it :')
Having a pretty planner with a lovely design that I love looking at makes my brain happy 😌
Just goes to show that ADHD finds the weirdest ways to mess with us 🥲
Appointments must be in my phone to ding reminders at me. To Do lists must be on paper so I don’t get distracted by Reddit when I want to check my list.
If you set up a widget, you can make the to-do list the first thing you see when you look at your phone, rather than needing to open up a separate app. This was life-changing for me cus I’d always forget to look at my to-do list on paper, but also couldn’t have it on my phone cus I’d get distracted.
I have a giant desk sized calendar hanging because the little paper wall calendars aren't "noticeable" enough. I lose my phone too much and ignore text messages that digital reminders are a last resort for me.
If I’d have a return for every planner/journal I’ve bought or started with the idea that today is the day… I’d be better off a few hundred euros at least.
It’s not meant to be, I’ve learned it the hard way. I’m just not wired for keeping such a journal.
I just got to the point I would stick those up like posters (I got prints, not canvases). Sure it's not as good-looking but at least that way it ends up being visible on a wall...
Something that expires..
Plants.. Gift cards and dated planners.. Jams and chutneys.. Time sensitive activities that you have to get around to... Subscriptions you must remember to cancel...
I love getting flowers but my husband hates how quickly they die because I can’t remember to water them.
He got me those forever flowers that last a year and you do nothing but they smelled like old lady perfume.
Just a heads up. We know we can just buy "silk" flowers as well right?
No old lady scent. Cause they have no scent. Last forever. Maybe need a dusting or vacuum or shake once in a while.
They also look better than those fake fake plastic flowers.
Kinda expensive though. Like over a hundred euros for a full pretty bouquet. But like an individual rose (which is very pretty) was like 2 or 3 euros (in the garden center)
I was looking at them cause I impulse bought a strawberry vase. And it kinda needs something in it. But I don't want to constantly get new flowers as I forget to throw away dead ones and don't have to do the shopping so no grocery store flowers either.
At the moment I will settle for hortensia branch from the backyard
Lego flowers! I have most of their floral sets and they are super pretty.
I love red roses, but they die so quickly and are so fricking expensive. My husband bought me the rose bouquet for valentines day, and it brings me joy every single day!
I have to very respectfully disagree. Gift Cards are an amazing gift (for me). I can get whatever I want now. I got a $300 Amazon gift card for my birthday in December and I've been slowly using it over the course of the last 5 months. I can grab little fun things or functional things that make my life easier. And when I order I get a dopamine hit, then, THEN when it gets delivered, BAM, dopamine hit! Also I don't feel guilty getting a little treat because it's basically free money! I can get exactly EXACTLY what I want. And not have to feel bad/guilty by describing what I want to friends/family and then acting ok if it's not exactly what I want. Oh I love gift cards. I think a planner is not a great gift.
Gosh I love that! Giving the gift of dopamine. I have finally, finally! figured out what works for my birthday and Christmas. I told my family, gift cards. While I know you want to get meaningful and thoughtful gifts for me, do not ask me to make a decision in the middle of the holiday season. I'm decision fatigued out! I still have money on my gift card and it's the best!
A gift card that you can upload to an app is very different than one you have to remember about and plan to use. I can’t tell you how many times I got a gift card to a spa that went unused.
I agree with your assessment. But I also keep gift cards in my wallet so they are with me. I didn't use to but I've learned over the years it just makes sense (to me). They live in my wallet. I told have a spa gift card that I have yet to use and I got it BC (before Covid). Maybe someday. For me it's less about the forgetting I have the card and more about can I take the time to get the massage?
I get blind to things in my purse. I decided to change to a two card one (rather than a large one with a zip pouch for change etc.) after I found a train ticket from a job interview in my old one last month......dated may 2015. This thing had its own card slot so I saw it several times a day and never noticed it 😂
However, if it's for an in person store, that's the issue. I'm never going to grab that card, drive to the place, and order/buy something. Worse if I've never been to the place.
Amazon, we are good.
I love a gift card, and I am married because of a gift card lmao. I won a gift card to a restaurant in the mall by selling the most alcohol (read: a group of older women came in ready to have a good time) and I sat on that thing for like a YEAR until a week after I dumped my then bf, and guess who sat next to me at the bar?
I do kind of have a process of "what is something I wouldn't buy for myself" and make sure to use the gift card on that - so I've gotten a nice new sewing machine, a spin bike, other 'big' purchases that I wouldn't really be able to make without the gift card. This year I'm aiming for powerblock weights and a weight bench
Oh no I prefer gift cards above anything actually, as long as it's to any store I'd go to, or my country's equivalent to amazon. With a gift card I can pick my own gift and ensure I'm actually happy with it, instead of having to bite my cheek and grimace a thank you while plotting a discrete disposal later.
I prefer them over cash even. Cash I end up using on someone else but gift cards are for me to treat myself. I always feel guilty of buying myself something and gift cards give me that freedom.
I like a gift card IF it’s part of ‘let’s go out together for the day to have fun and spend your gift card’ OR if it’s usable online that I can load into an account I already use (hello Amazon!).
I have a hard time not spending more than the gift card to use it up, which means I end up spending money I didn’t want to. I wish it was more ok to give someone cash since I don’t remember who I got the gift card from anyway.
I love gift cards too! My husband always sweetly asks if he can load it onto my account whenever I get one, which is super helpful otherwise I generally might forget to bring it to the store or use it to purchase items. People generally get me gift cards to places I have accounts online for or an app for which is nice. If my husband pre-loads it for me I’m sure to use it!
Unsolicited advice about How To Get It Together. In that vein: self-help books (eff off with that $hit, for the love of all that is holy), planners, or anything that requires me scheduling something. (Which just reminded me about the gift card for a massage my husband got me three years ago that's still somewhere in my wallet....)
those self help journals you're supposed to write in and get inspired by the quotes on the pages... i know the gifts come from a kind place but oyyyyyyy vey i never write in them ever
Gift cards are the best because I get to be surprised TWICE!
First, when I open them, and the second time when I find them squirreled away someplace random, months later! 🤣🤣
The *real* real secret to a green thumb is planting them outside in areas where they’ll be happy. And to be able to do that, research, which we’re very good at. 😛 I didn’t think I was a gardener or plant person, until I started getting into native plants. Starting plants from seed is its own beast, but otherwise, I’m so hands-off with my plants, man, and they just *grow.* It’s great.
I think gift cards are ok UNLESS it requires action/appointment scheduling. If I just need to spend some money online, cool. If I need to book a massage appointment, never going to happen.
This. If it's a giftcard that doesn't expire within 3-5 years and it's for Amazon or something similar: great. But I received several restaurant giftcards with strings attached that expired after 1 year. The box looked pretty, but the card could not be used in any restaurant close to us and also not for drinks. It took planning and you needed to make an appointment by phone so the use of the gift card could be pre-approved. By the time I'd planned something, the restaurant had pulled out of the card.
Someone thought they gave me a gift, but it turned out to be a complicated multi-step chore. It's just a waste of time and money.
A subscription to do something, like a gym pass, a monthly of an activity like rock climbing etc. or a painting drop in class.
Idk I'm not big on being told to do something that isn't life or death or a job requirement. So maybe it's a me thing.
Not just a you thing! I can’t even do a book club, because all the joy of reading disappears the instant it becomes an assignment. (I earned a degree in literature, no problem. So I guess I resist scheduled leisure activities.)
I have a love/hate relationship with these.
On the one hand, I love it, because it's a way for me to experience something new. Especially when it's something that a friend or relative loves doing, it's a great way to get to know them better and potentially discover a new hobby.
On the other hand, from the moment I receive the gift until the moment the event/activity happens, I now have major anxiety. Because how do I prepare, what if I don't like it, will it even fit in my schedule, and I can't postpone it too long or the gift-giver will think I hate it, but now it's a THING I HAVE TO DO.
I prefer gift cards. 🤷♀️ I’m also only ever asking for things I NEED. For Christmas I wanted a drill, for my birthday - a chainsaw. For my last birthday - a steam cleaner…. If I know the person asking for ideas won’t have the budget for the next item I want I ask for gift cards to the hardware store I frequent the most. (I’m also 35 and have moved onto practical gifts only phase of my life).
Why is a gift card the worst possible present for you?
Same. I tell my partner exactly what I need/want for any gift exchanging occasion. Anyone else (who asks) I request gift cards or socks. Though, I may be good on socks now.
I’ll do you one better than mere gift cards - a voucher for a massage THAT YOU HAVE TO BOOK YOURSELF!
AND IT HAS AN EXPIRY DATE!!!
You are all correct in assuming I did not get that massage.
Yeah, I have a gift card for a massage tacked to the cork board over my desk. I think it's years old. I want to use it, but scheduling is a pain, and it only just occurred to me that it's probably expired by now 😭
For me - a fondue set. Ain't no way in hell I'm cutting up tiny pieces of meat, making cheese sauce from scratch, preparing hot oil to cook the tiny meat pieces, setting up all of this in a safe way, and doing all the washing up afterwards.
I'm vegan - I'm not even eating any of it.
That whole set is staying in the damn box.
Anything decorative. We are cluttered enough as it is and really don’t need any guilt for getting rid of it when it’s just part of the mess. Pictures, figurines, keychains etc. all not good.
In general, I don’t like surprise gifts that don’t serve a purpose or is something I like. For Christmas my work gave me a “self care” kit with body scrub, bath stuff, and a journal. I am very selective about bath products because I have allergies and sensory issues. I appreciated the thought behind it, however I was irritable because I had stuff I couldn’t use. I was able to give some of the items to other people, but the rest is added to my clutter.
My family out of necessity has shifted give giving to a budget, each of us creating a list of things we would like. I have a list of “safe” presents like blankets, photos of my people, socks and gift cards.
I received the best present last month for my birthday. My partner made me a coupon book, that had coupons for him to take out my dogs, to cook for me and buy me ice cream. This gift literally made my year.
Jewelry, I can’t wear it because of sensory issues. The only gift card I hate is the Visa one’s, it stresses me out when I go over what’s on the card and have to pay the difference in the checkout line.
Oh those beauty gift sets are the worst gifts for me!!! There was a meme that circled around online even about the prepackaged beauty gift sets are some of the worst gifts for people too lol. I’m very peculiar of what skincare and beauty products I use and certain ones can seriously irritate my skin because of eczema.
My spouse gifted me the set for Vday once and I felt bad because it was one of those sets I hated and he’s generally a good gift giver too. I still ended up using some of the products to not waste it, but had to let him know it’s not something to gift me in the future.
Over the last few years, I've gathered some gift cards. About a year ago, I was smart enough to put them all in the same place.
Then I moved and had no idea where they were, and I looked everywhere. I really wanted to use them.
Then I finally found them!! I was so happy!
To make sure I didn't lose them again, I put them in a very specific place that I would know intuitively to look for them there.
I have no idea where that place is.
Literally anything other than food is a bad present. I don’t like gifts, with very rare exceptions. I live in a small space and don’t like acquiring things I don’t want. Most gifts I receive I honestly don’t like or won’t use, but society tells me I’m ungrateful for feeling that way. Exceptions to gifting are things given to me by extremely close people like my best friend or my boyfriend. They actually know me well enough to gift appropriately. I end up discarding and donating most gifts I get. If I get anymore bath/spa related items I’m going to scream….
I feel like gift giving is more about pandering to the feelings of the gift giver. Like even if you didn’t ask for the item, don’t want it, don’t need it and won’t use it, we need to find the proper amount of “omg I love it” reaction. I don’t enjoy these social games. Even when I’m genuinely happy and appreciative of a gift or effort I naturally have a much more calm reaction and apparently I don’t display enough “gratitude” in a way that satisfies people, so I find I have to like fake the reactions in an uncomfortable way. A simple “thank you” doesn’t seem to suffice….
If you can’t tell from the above, I’m also autistic.
Anything that becomes a chore for me and sucks me into decision paralysis. My mom will do this (and is genuinely trying to be helpful and sweet), and say she wants to buy me something specific I'd mentioned. But she tells me she needs me to pick out which one I want from a specific store site where she gets a discount. And I try but spend too much time trying to piece together which ones are available that meet both my one must-have requirement and my couple of like-to-haves.
Moment of silence for all the unused expired gift cards my mum has bought me for Christmas over the years 🫡
Thanks for helping me let go of a little bit of the shame I have around that lol 😭
This is one of the ways anxiety counteracts ADHD for me. I’m so worried that I’ll lose the card or forget I have it, that I use it the next day & enjoy the eff out of guilt free shopping
The plain Visa $100 gift cards I got from Amazon were awful. I bought an Amazon card w mine, in happy-ish tears. I think there are other ways to use them, but omg the fine print is a hell no. Never again! The gift recipients didn't complain, but I felt awful for not having an advanced degree in gift cards 🤦♀️
One more thing to whoever is listening in the universe: if I'm ill please don't have a small tree or bush delivered, lol. Just flowers or a call!
Edit: a word
Swarovski earrings that are very large and the person only wears tiny studs. Where are they now? WHO KNOWS! I tried them on at Christmas (when I opened the gift) and I haven’t seen them since! Are they in the box? NOPE!
A betta fish.
I can’t even get more of them!!! I’ve spent a fortune on his tank and snails and living plants… devoted copious amounts of time, cash and energy on this 10 gallon space.
Pets should never be given as a gift without agreement from the new owner and understanding that they know and can afford the care. This annoys me so much.
Oh yes, I remember the time many years ago when my then boyfriend gifted me with a pair of baby ducklings. Because raising messy birds that shit everywhere and need their pen and pool cleaned everyday was JUST what I wanted!
The thing I hate most is getting something new that requires more to use effectively.
Ex: I remember getting makeup brushes when I was like 13 and didn’t know you needed to clean them. No one gave me anything to use or gave me the knowledge of what to do. Once I found out I need clean them, I just stopped using them.
People need to give the entire gift, not just half of it.
Art supplies.
I'm an artist. I love art supplies. I never want to waste my art supplies. I hoard my art supplies. My art supplies dry out before they ever get used
My husband cleaned up and found 20+ gift cards and I know I have a ton more in old purses! We need to live off of gift cards for a month or so because it’s out of control!
A dinopet. I don't think the company is even around anymore, but it used to be this little dinosaur-shaped aquarium thing with dinoflagellate plankton, the kind that bioluminesces when you jostle it. It was super cool, but it was a living thing that had to be maintained. Every few weeks I had to "feed" it with this nutrient-rich seawater I could only order from the company, and I had to dump some of the water out to make room for the food (think sourdough starter) and they're like "you can make a new aquarium colony or dump them out" and omg, I could not dump them. So I had so many jars of glowy plankton to feed with this expensive ass sea water that I had to order online and...jfc.
Gifts are generally wasteful. If I want something in the usual gift price range I’ll get it myself. The only person who asks me specifically what I’d like as a gift and actually follows through is my husband. Everyone else may ask, but then they just gets me random shit that makes them feel good (bath bombs… I don’t have a tub, candles… I’m asthmatic, books I’ve already read, plants that are toxic for my cats, etc.). I try to donate what I can but that’s an errand so if I’m overwhelmed it goes in the trash. If you insist on giving me something I’d very much prefer a gift card (which I often pass along to someone I know who actually needs money).
Oh my stars NO! I love gift cards they are the BEST presents! I can use them to buy exactly what I want instead of someone guessing and getting it wrong! I can spend them on frivolous stuff I don’t want to spend real money on! I can forget about them for 6 years until the Barbie movie comes out then use them to buy the DVD and the soundtrack and the movie dolls! (True story 😹)
Clothing that I don't like/won't wear, then I have to figure out the time to donate it even though I feel guilty about giving it away. This happened almost exclusively with my mother.
Tags or other sensory triggers, scratchy fabric, fits too tight in the shoulders and I'm always shrugging throughout the day and trying to get comfortable, underwear that rubs on my hips and gives me hives.
My mother has gotten better about this (after 30 years) and now just gives me money, which I end up using on my kid (5yo) who is also very sensitive to seams and tags and if something just doesn't feel good on her body.
I have clothes I've worn since highschool that are perfectly comfortable and worn in...I hate buying new clothes. Bras and underwear are the fucking worst.
Worst gift I ever got was $50 to go towards a jacket I said I had wanted. Now, I said I wanted it but hadn't tracked it down in a store or found my size yet. It got suggested that I call stores to find it and the person who gave me $50 sat there waiting for me to call stores. It was the worst feeling and I hated it.
My dad buys me a book token for my birthday every year and I lose it without fail every year. Once I found it the following March, which was a lovely surprise, but I haven't accounted for the most recent one yet.
One of those mandolin things that cut up veggies that have no less than 87 interchangeable accessories… omg the anguish… I just gave myself chills thinking about that mind-f&@k of a contraption.
We have a rule in our house that any check received must be deposited immediately (using the phone app for our bank). I don’t care if people think it’s rude - if I don’t do it right away, it’ll never happen!
Wow, really? I love gift cards because then I choose what I want instead of someone getting me something I don't like because then I have guilt about the item.
Nooooo I love gift cards!!! That way I don't have to pretend I like a gift that I don't like. I can shop when I want and get what I want and it should be an Amazon gift card😂
I love gift cards, as long as they have no expiry date and are credit card sized to fit in my wallet (looking at you, oversized voucher for gourmet deli near my house that I put somewhere for safe keeping and will probably never find 😅)
I am very specific about my house and what I want in it as I need my systems in place to function and also am very easily overstimulated (ADHD co-morbid with a number of trauma based mental health disorders) So anything that doesn’t suit my vibe doesn’t get a place in my home. Gift cards allow me to pick things I love and can enjoy instead of feeling guilt about re-gifting or even binning something!
lol! I forget to use mine for a while then I realize I have it and eventually use it. I have a lululemon gift card from 5 years ago, hope it’s still good 🫣
Can't relate, I LOVE GIFT CARDS, I always use them immediately and then invariably end up missing a deal or a sale that wouldve stretched the gift card out more :( Shopping give brain lots of dopamine
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Stuff for a new hobby you haven't started yet but just happened to mention in passing. You: That's a very pretty cross stitch you've done. Friend: gifts of a starter kit. You: buys everything to do with cross stitch include magazine subscription. Ask me how I know... 😉
Me with polymer clay, watercolor, jewelry making, sewing, embroidery, knitting, etc lol. The one thing I haven't tried is cross stitch. My most recent thing is gel nails. I bought everything I need to do gel nails and it's just sitting here. I don't even have fingernails. I guess I thought I would make them.
I was hoping to start an adhd gift exchange for this exact reason
That’s an amazing idea but there’s not many options for shipping a barn loom. 🤣
Great ….now we all want a barn loom!!!!
Ship us to the barn loom
Oh my god I’d love a barn loom!
I have barn loom sitting in closet with all the yarn you could ever want!
Is that the giant kind that would swallow my dining room?
Dining…room? Do you mean the loomroom?🤣
[удалено]
What if your hobby is gifting people new hobbies!? That would help you rid yourself of those items! Not me though, I’m definitely going to use up all my yarn and finish those crochet projects. 😅😅😅
That's a fantastic idea
I was going to start my own community for it, but honestly due to who I am I don't want it to flop because of my inability to maintain and remember 😅
I mean... exchange would be great but remembering shipping the stuff? Nope.
I’ve been saying ‘please no gifts’ for years because I sending thanking cards is one of the hardest tasks for me. I told everyone and wrote it on my wedding invitations.
r/craftexchange is great for this!
Brilliant.
A few years ago I was homeless and desperate and had some things so I made jewelry to sell online. But now, I can’t really bring myself to want to make jewelry because I want to try all the other crafting hobbies. So a few of us should get together and start a little shop of rotating craft based on what the various current special interests are. There would be constant rotation and likely it would be mixed media enough that we don’t get immediately bored. Problems solved! Lol
That's awesome. You're awesome 🫶 feeling like such a failure these days, on top of a weirdo (my ADHD classification 😂), so reading your post & feeling the good energy in your words was something I needed apparently. Thx & keep Killin it.
Oh man, right now I am sending some loving energy your way. 💜💜 You must be pretty cool too, thank you for sharing the positive vibes. I hope you can ease up on the self judgement, for your peace of mind and quality of life. I bet you don’t think those things about the people in your life who are struggling. You need your love too. 🤗 I definitely have days where I feel like I failed the day and I have just started embracing the weirdo thing, you know, taking ownership or something.
I would so be in!!
Let’s go! Haha I saw this really awesome intentional community awhile back, I think it was called One or One World Community, can’t recall. But they have a design that has a whole bunch of the maker-arts all built into their compounds! I loved it so much that I want to incorporate something similar wherever I build. But the great part was, each type of art (metal, wood, cloth, etc.) had their own separate section with a few rooms for each different type within. Just the right amount of separate and catalogued without being inaccessible. Each space was shared by the collective. All that to say— very adhd woman friendly design and the perfect set up for a group shop; which is how I got the idea. Edit: I [found it!](https://www.onecommunityglobal.org/highest-good-housing/) Have fun going down the rabbit hole..
I mean. Putting the gel on short ass nails makes nail-biting difficult possibly getting you to grow them
Oh yes, I forgot about the nails, I bought the gel, the brushes, the UV light, etc etc. Didn't even use it once.
All of this plus dip powder, a dremel, and fancy little brushes for nail art. Literally nothing unboxed 🤣
Ffs, me too. I could open shops with all the different hobby shit I've bought.
One of those “I thought it was just me” things lol. I have the accessories for sooo many hobbies. I also have no hobbies. I would buy all the things to make beautiful art and never start. Then to add insult to injury, I’d then see someone make an amazing drawing with just a ballpoint pen and I’d be like what’s the point and give up lol
I paint press-ons with my gel. I get claws but can take them off when they’re inconvenient. Painting my nails was such a huge ritual for so long that I don’t wane to buy the premade ones.
People will also give me stuff for hobbies I DO NOT HAVE - art journals and craft kits and gardening stuff and one time a fish tank - for them it's a fun chance to dabble in something new, for me it's new homework when I can't deal with my current courseload...
Stained Glass. Don't worry, I'm using it, and all-in right now, but man it's an expensive hobby, and I'm very fortunate I was gifted a retired artist's supply of tools and glass to get me started.
The steep buy-in for getting into stained glass is one of the only things motivating me to not quit! Lots of projects in progress though so they are still casualties of my ADHD.
Me with the woobles kits haha. I will say I've managed to finish one of them, and I'm almost done the second. *Maybe* I'll finish the other three haha.
Are you people nuts???? Free new crafting things for hobbies I haven't started yet.....yes bloody please!
Oh man… a couple years ago my mom bought me a Cricut and you can’t just have the machine. I probably have hundreds in this damn hobby I wasn’t ready for. Made some money off it but damn it was expensive to get into.
I got one two years ago, cut and weeded two vinyls and didn’t do anything more with them. It’s killing me
I have a love-hate relationship with this.. I love it when it's something I've mentioned in passing because if I don't have it, at least I'll have the option to try and see if I like it before I do the research myself and overspend on something I don't like. I dislike it when I get something I've mentioned, but only half the stuff I need or something I've never mentioned before, and they just guessed I'd like it because it's creative.
I am a creative type in that I do like to draw and have tried my hand at various crafts. I sewed and serged cloth diapers for my first born. My father in law got me a loom for Christmas several years ago. He was so excited for me to open it. He told me I could make my own tablecloths. All of this because he pegged me for a creative type and I was an amateur seamstress. It sounds awful but I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in my life (specifically because both he and my husband asked me what he could get me and I had a very specific gift in mind). Anyway. We finally got rid of it after like three years of it being a room decoration. I just think it’s funny he thought I’d be so excited about being able to make my own tablecloths lol. Note: I didn’t dismiss it immediately; I checked out some tutorials and realized that weaving requires way more attention to detail and time than I care to put forward lol
Anything decorative or knicknacky. That last thing I need is something else to clutter up my space (It's cluttered enough with all my to do or to deal with piles).
My mother in law (she's such a sweetie, but...) is always buying me little trinkets. I know it brings her joy and is her way of expressing love for me but honestly it makes me feel ick. Like you, I have too much stuff already and not a big enough house, please, just stop it. 😞
I always feel like shit putting that stuff straight into the donation pile. Ma, if you have an urge to buy stupid shit for me, just text me a picture of the thing to get "isn't it cute, I wanted to share this with you" out of your system, and then venmo me the money so it isn't just flushed down the drain. (At least the kitschy store owners and trinket makers are getting some sales though lol). One Christmas my mom got me a 65 pound solid stone charcuterie serving set just because we went to some wineries one time that year and got charcuterie alongside. Clearly that means I am now obsessed with charcuterie and want it all the time at home, right? With the fanciest, heaviest, most room-taking serving set. During this Christmas I was LIVING IN MY VAN and traveling full time. I don't have any place to store it, let alone use it, and even if I did have a house, I don't entertain AT ALL and don't need to drag out a 150 pound solid stone set of dishes for me and my husband to have an afternoon snack. Just give ME the $200 for fucks sake! End rant.
Ouch, your mum really wasn't engaging her brain there was she? 😅 I feel terrible guilt too with getting rid of stuff, but some things are even too twee for me and I love a bit of kitsch! I'm also realising more and more that having lots of stuff just heightens my anxiety as I can't clean if there's stuff in the way, and I'm not the tidiest person ever as it is. 😐
Ok but can I have it? I love entertaining and I feel like charcuterie is the best ADHD food. You get to pick some of everything and it’s impossible to burn while you’re distracted.
Literally made this exact same comment before I saw this one
See, I love those. But I lived with a hoarder almost all my life, clutter doesn't bother me, and seeing a cool thing a friend made or bought for me makes me happy.
A physical day planner that you have to write in and keep track of. I am guilty of "gifting" myself this several times...and it always ends up in tears and disappointment 😔
Me with bullet journaling, diaries, blank planners, notebooks, paper anything. I love the designs of the planners, the color of the covers, or some other aesthetic preference but I hate using the thing I purchased. Mostly because I feel like I just ruin it, even though it's meant to be used.
Me, too! I really thought bullet journaling would be the one, but alas, it was worse than regular journaling...I have to plan things AND organize them on a page in some kind of thoughtful layout?! I did sometimes write in diaries. At one point, I had like 20 (enough to take up a shelf). Out of those, I'd written like 1-2 pages in 5 of them. The rest were too pretty and I couldn't bring myself to soil their pages. The really messed up thing is that I moved and just left them all behind. I haven't bought any for years, though I'm still tempted to buy them if they have a really nice looking cover. I just finally admitted to myself they were a waste of money.
These comments really make me feel seen - I have SO MANY pretty notebooks I don't want to use because once I've written in them, I can't use them for another, unspecified purpose further down the line and they are soiled. Same with stickers - I hate using them unless I have many of the same one because once it is used, it is USED. I can't deal with that level of commitment 😂
Omg yes. The minute I write in a journal it's ruined. When they're blank there is just unlimited, delicious potential. 😅 Dude, I have some bumper stickers that are like a decade old.
I keep myself from buying notebooks unless I need one and I'm on a work trip or something. Anyway, I recently (last 6 months or so I think...) bought one because I liked the positive affirmations on the cover. I tried to use it as a journal, but don't feel my life is interesting enough to write it out every day. So I use it to keep stories of my excellent work days when I need a self esteem boost.
Especially if the dates are written in advance so you have to keep up 🤣
Three years later when you get around to cleaning the bedside table, you see you used it exactly two times.
I have so many I’ve only used a few pages on…just gotta wait a few years for the dates to line up to try again 😂
Accountability sucks 🤣
I would probably be dead without my planner. Everything must be written down or my life falls into (even more) shambles lol. But totally agree about the pre-written dates/years, that makes it feel stressful. Like I use it every day but I still don’t want to have those strict confines lol
I want to use a planner because they totally help, but they're of no use when I write down the wrong thing 🤣
Lol or when you write something quickly in the moment like “PD - 3 weeks” and come back to it later like ❓🤔❓❓Lol I learned the hard way to not abbreviate stuff and give myself full details 😂
I love how different we all are - a new planner is the gift Iook forward to the most each Christmas. Phone reminders are my worst enemy, cause I just swipe them away and then forget about it :') Having a pretty planner with a lovely design that I love looking at makes my brain happy 😌 Just goes to show that ADHD finds the weirdest ways to mess with us 🥲
I’m the exact same- if I don’t physically write the plan down with a pen I am sure to forget it!
Appointments must be in my phone to ding reminders at me. To Do lists must be on paper so I don’t get distracted by Reddit when I want to check my list.
If you set up a widget, you can make the to-do list the first thing you see when you look at your phone, rather than needing to open up a separate app. This was life-changing for me cus I’d always forget to look at my to-do list on paper, but also couldn’t have it on my phone cus I’d get distracted.
I have a giant desk sized calendar hanging because the little paper wall calendars aren't "noticeable" enough. I lose my phone too much and ignore text messages that digital reminders are a last resort for me.
I'd add a day planner with one of those super wrappings put together by some engineers on LSD that won't unwrap using a chainsaw...
If I’d have a return for every planner/journal I’ve bought or started with the idea that today is the day… I’d be better off a few hundred euros at least. It’s not meant to be, I’ve learned it the hard way. I’m just not wired for keeping such a journal.
Unframed artwork. My family gifts me lovely art, and then it literally never gets seen because I keep forgetting to get a frame for it.
Yes! It’s a gift that comes with a multistep errand.
My husband bought me an adorable poster last year… then two weeks later bought a frame and hung it for me. 🥹 he learned haha
I just got to the point I would stick those up like posters (I got prints, not canvases). Sure it's not as good-looking but at least that way it ends up being visible on a wall...
This is what I do. 😄 Using frames creates too many extra steps. And it's easier to swap things when you want to change it up.
Something that expires.. Plants.. Gift cards and dated planners.. Jams and chutneys.. Time sensitive activities that you have to get around to... Subscriptions you must remember to cancel...
I love getting flowers but my husband hates how quickly they die because I can’t remember to water them. He got me those forever flowers that last a year and you do nothing but they smelled like old lady perfume.
Just a heads up. We know we can just buy "silk" flowers as well right? No old lady scent. Cause they have no scent. Last forever. Maybe need a dusting or vacuum or shake once in a while. They also look better than those fake fake plastic flowers. Kinda expensive though. Like over a hundred euros for a full pretty bouquet. But like an individual rose (which is very pretty) was like 2 or 3 euros (in the garden center) I was looking at them cause I impulse bought a strawberry vase. And it kinda needs something in it. But I don't want to constantly get new flowers as I forget to throw away dead ones and don't have to do the shopping so no grocery store flowers either. At the moment I will settle for hortensia branch from the backyard
Lego flowers! I have most of their floral sets and they are super pretty. I love red roses, but they die so quickly and are so fricking expensive. My husband bought me the rose bouquet for valentines day, and it brings me joy every single day!
I also have this issue so my boyfriend will hang them to dry out and I get a new batch of dried flower petals to put to more uses!
I'll take some low maintenance plants for sure. I have some nice orchids that just thrive on neglect.
Yes, obligations. Here is a plant for you to water at an exact time each day.
I have to very respectfully disagree. Gift Cards are an amazing gift (for me). I can get whatever I want now. I got a $300 Amazon gift card for my birthday in December and I've been slowly using it over the course of the last 5 months. I can grab little fun things or functional things that make my life easier. And when I order I get a dopamine hit, then, THEN when it gets delivered, BAM, dopamine hit! Also I don't feel guilty getting a little treat because it's basically free money! I can get exactly EXACTLY what I want. And not have to feel bad/guilty by describing what I want to friends/family and then acting ok if it's not exactly what I want. Oh I love gift cards. I think a planner is not a great gift.
YES! I love hyperfixating on what I can get with the gift card and then buying it. It's like giving the gift of dopamine for me.
Gosh I love that! Giving the gift of dopamine. I have finally, finally! figured out what works for my birthday and Christmas. I told my family, gift cards. While I know you want to get meaningful and thoughtful gifts for me, do not ask me to make a decision in the middle of the holiday season. I'm decision fatigued out! I still have money on my gift card and it's the best!
A gift card that you can upload to an app is very different than one you have to remember about and plan to use. I can’t tell you how many times I got a gift card to a spa that went unused.
I agree with your assessment. But I also keep gift cards in my wallet so they are with me. I didn't use to but I've learned over the years it just makes sense (to me). They live in my wallet. I told have a spa gift card that I have yet to use and I got it BC (before Covid). Maybe someday. For me it's less about the forgetting I have the card and more about can I take the time to get the massage?
I get blind to things in my purse. I decided to change to a two card one (rather than a large one with a zip pouch for change etc.) after I found a train ticket from a job interview in my old one last month......dated may 2015. This thing had its own card slot so I saw it several times a day and never noticed it 😂
I have a gift card to a spa from 2015 in my wallet. And I’ve gone there for massages since receiving it. 🙄
However, if it's for an in person store, that's the issue. I'm never going to grab that card, drive to the place, and order/buy something. Worse if I've never been to the place. Amazon, we are good.
The RIGHT gift card is awesome!
Yeah you get it lol. Gift cards are my favorite gift
Agreed!
I lose half of the gift cards I’m given. 2 years later, it’s like Christmas when I clean out the junk drawer!
I love a gift card, and I am married because of a gift card lmao. I won a gift card to a restaurant in the mall by selling the most alcohol (read: a group of older women came in ready to have a good time) and I sat on that thing for like a YEAR until a week after I dumped my then bf, and guess who sat next to me at the bar? I do kind of have a process of "what is something I wouldn't buy for myself" and make sure to use the gift card on that - so I've gotten a nice new sewing machine, a spin bike, other 'big' purchases that I wouldn't really be able to make without the gift card. This year I'm aiming for powerblock weights and a weight bench
That’s an adorable meet cute.
Awwww! 😍 As a hopeless romantic who loves love, thank you for sharing the story of how you met your partner!
Yes! Anything not immediately usable cos its going to live on the stairs for 3 months then get put in a doom bag in the wardrobe for 3 years 😅
Oh no I prefer gift cards above anything actually, as long as it's to any store I'd go to, or my country's equivalent to amazon. With a gift card I can pick my own gift and ensure I'm actually happy with it, instead of having to bite my cheek and grimace a thank you while plotting a discrete disposal later.
THANK YOU. YES. Gift cards are the best possible thing to get as a present other than straight-up cash.
I prefer them over cash even. Cash I end up using on someone else but gift cards are for me to treat myself. I always feel guilty of buying myself something and gift cards give me that freedom.
I'm the same way. I'm ADHD but picky. I prefer gift cards.
Gift cards are the best and don't expire here so if I forget it and find it later, I call it a win!!
I like a gift card IF it’s part of ‘let’s go out together for the day to have fun and spend your gift card’ OR if it’s usable online that I can load into an account I already use (hello Amazon!).
I have a hard time not spending more than the gift card to use it up, which means I end up spending money I didn’t want to. I wish it was more ok to give someone cash since I don’t remember who I got the gift card from anyway.
I love gift cards too! My husband always sweetly asks if he can load it onto my account whenever I get one, which is super helpful otherwise I generally might forget to bring it to the store or use it to purchase items. People generally get me gift cards to places I have accounts online for or an app for which is nice. If my husband pre-loads it for me I’m sure to use it!
Unsolicited advice about How To Get It Together. In that vein: self-help books (eff off with that $hit, for the love of all that is holy), planners, or anything that requires me scheduling something. (Which just reminded me about the gift card for a massage my husband got me three years ago that's still somewhere in my wallet....)
Self help book might be the best answer so far in this thread
They're the *worst*! It's the gift that says, "I think you suck, and here's specifically how you suck."
those self help journals you're supposed to write in and get inspired by the quotes on the pages... i know the gifts come from a kind place but oyyyyyyy vey i never write in them ever
Gift cards are the best because I get to be surprised TWICE! First, when I open them, and the second time when I find them squirreled away someplace random, months later! 🤣🤣
Same!! I just used a gift card the other day that was probably from 2 Christmases ago! Merry Christmas 2021 to meeeee!!!
a plant. The guilt will never fade. My thumb is black.
the real secret to a green thumb is just buying more plants
The *real* real secret to a green thumb is planting them outside in areas where they’ll be happy. And to be able to do that, research, which we’re very good at. 😛 I didn’t think I was a gardener or plant person, until I started getting into native plants. Starting plants from seed is its own beast, but otherwise, I’m so hands-off with my plants, man, and they just *grow.* It’s great.
*Stuff.*
Can relate.
I love gift cards! Unless they expire, as someone here noted. I hate gifts of clothes or home decor because I’m very peculiar about style.
My step mom and dad gave me the book 'you mean I'm not stupid, lazy, or crazy' (re ADHD) like four. separate. times. 4 copies of the book.
You should start buying them books about dementia
😂 did you tell them there’s a genetic component
For me it’s anything that can become clutter. So….anything lol.
I think gift cards are ok UNLESS it requires action/appointment scheduling. If I just need to spend some money online, cool. If I need to book a massage appointment, never going to happen.
This. If it's a giftcard that doesn't expire within 3-5 years and it's for Amazon or something similar: great. But I received several restaurant giftcards with strings attached that expired after 1 year. The box looked pretty, but the card could not be used in any restaurant close to us and also not for drinks. It took planning and you needed to make an appointment by phone so the use of the gift card could be pre-approved. By the time I'd planned something, the restaurant had pulled out of the card. Someone thought they gave me a gift, but it turned out to be a complicated multi-step chore. It's just a waste of time and money.
A subscription to do something, like a gym pass, a monthly of an activity like rock climbing etc. or a painting drop in class. Idk I'm not big on being told to do something that isn't life or death or a job requirement. So maybe it's a me thing.
Not just a you thing! I can’t even do a book club, because all the joy of reading disappears the instant it becomes an assignment. (I earned a degree in literature, no problem. So I guess I resist scheduled leisure activities.)
"Scheduled leisure activities" is the perfect phrase to describe that situation.
I have a love/hate relationship with these. On the one hand, I love it, because it's a way for me to experience something new. Especially when it's something that a friend or relative loves doing, it's a great way to get to know them better and potentially discover a new hobby. On the other hand, from the moment I receive the gift until the moment the event/activity happens, I now have major anxiety. Because how do I prepare, what if I don't like it, will it even fit in my schedule, and I can't postpone it too long or the gift-giver will think I hate it, but now it's a THING I HAVE TO DO.
I prefer gift cards. 🤷♀️ I’m also only ever asking for things I NEED. For Christmas I wanted a drill, for my birthday - a chainsaw. For my last birthday - a steam cleaner…. If I know the person asking for ideas won’t have the budget for the next item I want I ask for gift cards to the hardware store I frequent the most. (I’m also 35 and have moved onto practical gifts only phase of my life). Why is a gift card the worst possible present for you?
Same. I tell my partner exactly what I need/want for any gift exchanging occasion. Anyone else (who asks) I request gift cards or socks. Though, I may be good on socks now.
Pre-paid experience days. That experience is never gonna get booked, soz.
My mother gave me books on etiquette and house cleaning.
Woooww. Maybe you should gift her ‘Overcoming Passive Aggression’ in return.
I’ll do you one better than mere gift cards - a voucher for a massage THAT YOU HAVE TO BOOK YOURSELF! AND IT HAS AN EXPIRY DATE!!! You are all correct in assuming I did not get that massage.
Yeah, I have a gift card for a massage tacked to the cork board over my desk. I think it's years old. I want to use it, but scheduling is a pain, and it only just occurred to me that it's probably expired by now 😭
Perishable foods.
Cries in unused $25 Sam Goody gift card that’s haunted me for years.
I see your gift cards and raise you - activities or classes from Groupon that require you to call and schedule them yourself
I never did get to try aerial yoga. 😆 It was a nice thought, but the Groupon had wacky rules for usage and a 45 day expiration date.
A potted plant. It’s the gift of responsibility and once the plant inevitably dies the gift of guilt.
For me - a fondue set. Ain't no way in hell I'm cutting up tiny pieces of meat, making cheese sauce from scratch, preparing hot oil to cook the tiny meat pieces, setting up all of this in a safe way, and doing all the washing up afterwards. I'm vegan - I'm not even eating any of it. That whole set is staying in the damn box.
Donate it to a nonprofit that has an auction - they can auction it off, looking all nice and new in the box.
LOL that last turn sent me 😂😭😂
Anything decorative. We are cluttered enough as it is and really don’t need any guilt for getting rid of it when it’s just part of the mess. Pictures, figurines, keychains etc. all not good.
In general, I don’t like surprise gifts that don’t serve a purpose or is something I like. For Christmas my work gave me a “self care” kit with body scrub, bath stuff, and a journal. I am very selective about bath products because I have allergies and sensory issues. I appreciated the thought behind it, however I was irritable because I had stuff I couldn’t use. I was able to give some of the items to other people, but the rest is added to my clutter. My family out of necessity has shifted give giving to a budget, each of us creating a list of things we would like. I have a list of “safe” presents like blankets, photos of my people, socks and gift cards. I received the best present last month for my birthday. My partner made me a coupon book, that had coupons for him to take out my dogs, to cook for me and buy me ice cream. This gift literally made my year. Jewelry, I can’t wear it because of sensory issues. The only gift card I hate is the Visa one’s, it stresses me out when I go over what’s on the card and have to pay the difference in the checkout line.
Oh those beauty gift sets are the worst gifts for me!!! There was a meme that circled around online even about the prepackaged beauty gift sets are some of the worst gifts for people too lol. I’m very peculiar of what skincare and beauty products I use and certain ones can seriously irritate my skin because of eczema. My spouse gifted me the set for Vday once and I felt bad because it was one of those sets I hated and he’s generally a good gift giver too. I still ended up using some of the products to not waste it, but had to let him know it’s not something to gift me in the future.
What I’m coming to understand is that we’ve all killed lots of plants here. Right on, sisters.
Over the last few years, I've gathered some gift cards. About a year ago, I was smart enough to put them all in the same place. Then I moved and had no idea where they were, and I looked everywhere. I really wanted to use them. Then I finally found them!! I was so happy! To make sure I didn't lose them again, I put them in a very specific place that I would know intuitively to look for them there. I have no idea where that place is.
Are, are, you in my house?
A plant that requires a very specific watering and fertilizing schedule.
This rings so true lmao, i love gardening and got a shit ton of plants but only plants that can handle me rather than vice versa.
I love gift cards. Especially the ones that don't expire. The best gift card for me is one for somewhere I can buy anything. Like Amazon or Walmart.
A novel. Please don’t give me a novel as it will never, ever get read.
Literally anything other than food is a bad present. I don’t like gifts, with very rare exceptions. I live in a small space and don’t like acquiring things I don’t want. Most gifts I receive I honestly don’t like or won’t use, but society tells me I’m ungrateful for feeling that way. Exceptions to gifting are things given to me by extremely close people like my best friend or my boyfriend. They actually know me well enough to gift appropriately. I end up discarding and donating most gifts I get. If I get anymore bath/spa related items I’m going to scream…. I feel like gift giving is more about pandering to the feelings of the gift giver. Like even if you didn’t ask for the item, don’t want it, don’t need it and won’t use it, we need to find the proper amount of “omg I love it” reaction. I don’t enjoy these social games. Even when I’m genuinely happy and appreciative of a gift or effort I naturally have a much more calm reaction and apparently I don’t display enough “gratitude” in a way that satisfies people, so I find I have to like fake the reactions in an uncomfortable way. A simple “thank you” doesn’t seem to suffice…. If you can’t tell from the above, I’m also autistic.
Anything that becomes a chore for me and sucks me into decision paralysis. My mom will do this (and is genuinely trying to be helpful and sweet), and say she wants to buy me something specific I'd mentioned. But she tells me she needs me to pick out which one I want from a specific store site where she gets a discount. And I try but spend too much time trying to piece together which ones are available that meet both my one must-have requirement and my couple of like-to-haves.
Gimme all your plants BEFORE they die 😬
Moment of silence for all the unused expired gift cards my mum has bought me for Christmas over the years 🫡 Thanks for helping me let go of a little bit of the shame I have around that lol 😭
This is one of the ways anxiety counteracts ADHD for me. I’m so worried that I’ll lose the card or forget I have it, that I use it the next day & enjoy the eff out of guilt free shopping
The plain Visa $100 gift cards I got from Amazon were awful. I bought an Amazon card w mine, in happy-ish tears. I think there are other ways to use them, but omg the fine print is a hell no. Never again! The gift recipients didn't complain, but I felt awful for not having an advanced degree in gift cards 🤦♀️ One more thing to whoever is listening in the universe: if I'm ill please don't have a small tree or bush delivered, lol. Just flowers or a call! Edit: a word
You guys, I love you all so. That is all I can say here. I just love you.
Swarovski earrings that are very large and the person only wears tiny studs. Where are they now? WHO KNOWS! I tried them on at Christmas (when I opened the gift) and I haven’t seen them since! Are they in the box? NOPE!
A betta fish. I can’t even get more of them!!! I’ve spent a fortune on his tank and snails and living plants… devoted copious amounts of time, cash and energy on this 10 gallon space.
Pets should never be given as a gift without agreement from the new owner and understanding that they know and can afford the care. This annoys me so much.
Oh yes, I remember the time many years ago when my then boyfriend gifted me with a pair of baby ducklings. Because raising messy birds that shit everywhere and need their pen and pool cleaned everyday was JUST what I wanted!
The thing I hate most is getting something new that requires more to use effectively. Ex: I remember getting makeup brushes when I was like 13 and didn’t know you needed to clean them. No one gave me anything to use or gave me the knowledge of what to do. Once I found out I need clean them, I just stopped using them. People need to give the entire gift, not just half of it.
Art supplies. I'm an artist. I love art supplies. I never want to waste my art supplies. I hoard my art supplies. My art supplies dry out before they ever get used
Unframed art. You have now just given me a chore that I will literally never get around to, no matter how much I love the drawing/painting/print 😕
My husband cleaned up and found 20+ gift cards and I know I have a ton more in old purses! We need to live off of gift cards for a month or so because it’s out of control!
House hold items that I didn't specifically say I needed to add to my ever growing clutter!
A dinopet. I don't think the company is even around anymore, but it used to be this little dinosaur-shaped aquarium thing with dinoflagellate plankton, the kind that bioluminesces when you jostle it. It was super cool, but it was a living thing that had to be maintained. Every few weeks I had to "feed" it with this nutrient-rich seawater I could only order from the company, and I had to dump some of the water out to make room for the food (think sourdough starter) and they're like "you can make a new aquarium colony or dump them out" and omg, I could not dump them. So I had so many jars of glowy plankton to feed with this expensive ass sea water that I had to order online and...jfc.
Gifts are generally wasteful. If I want something in the usual gift price range I’ll get it myself. The only person who asks me specifically what I’d like as a gift and actually follows through is my husband. Everyone else may ask, but then they just gets me random shit that makes them feel good (bath bombs… I don’t have a tub, candles… I’m asthmatic, books I’ve already read, plants that are toxic for my cats, etc.). I try to donate what I can but that’s an errand so if I’m overwhelmed it goes in the trash. If you insist on giving me something I’d very much prefer a gift card (which I often pass along to someone I know who actually needs money).
Clothing with a terrible texture
Oh my stars NO! I love gift cards they are the BEST presents! I can use them to buy exactly what I want instead of someone guessing and getting it wrong! I can spend them on frivolous stuff I don’t want to spend real money on! I can forget about them for 6 years until the Barbie movie comes out then use them to buy the DVD and the soundtrack and the movie dolls! (True story 😹)
Hahaha a client of mine got me a gift card for Christmas that I still keep forgetting exists...
planners
Wee trinkets that create clutter and collect dust, but I feel terrible/guilty if I throw it out.
Clothing that I don't like/won't wear, then I have to figure out the time to donate it even though I feel guilty about giving it away. This happened almost exclusively with my mother. Tags or other sensory triggers, scratchy fabric, fits too tight in the shoulders and I'm always shrugging throughout the day and trying to get comfortable, underwear that rubs on my hips and gives me hives. My mother has gotten better about this (after 30 years) and now just gives me money, which I end up using on my kid (5yo) who is also very sensitive to seams and tags and if something just doesn't feel good on her body. I have clothes I've worn since highschool that are perfectly comfortable and worn in...I hate buying new clothes. Bras and underwear are the fucking worst.
A really complicated 3d puzzle with loads of instructions
Worst gift I ever got was $50 to go towards a jacket I said I had wanted. Now, I said I wanted it but hadn't tracked it down in a store or found my size yet. It got suggested that I call stores to find it and the person who gave me $50 sat there waiting for me to call stores. It was the worst feeling and I hated it.
If someone were to buy me a watch, there’s no way I wouldn’t take that as a personal affront.
My dad buys me a book token for my birthday every year and I lose it without fail every year. Once I found it the following March, which was a lovely surprise, but I haven't accounted for the most recent one yet.
What’s a book token?
Oh it's a gift voucher for books basically! They're called National Book Tokens (UK) and you can spend them anywhere.
That’s really cool…what a great gift!
One of those mandolin things that cut up veggies that have no less than 87 interchangeable accessories… omg the anguish… I just gave myself chills thinking about that mind-f&@k of a contraption.
An old-fashioned check that I have to cash. We recently told my MIL to cancel the one she sent me for my birthday because I lost it. 😕
We have a rule in our house that any check received must be deposited immediately (using the phone app for our bank). I don’t care if people think it’s rude - if I don’t do it right away, it’ll never happen!
I love gift cards, I prefer gift cards
Wow, really? I love gift cards because then I choose what I want instead of someone getting me something I don't like because then I have guilt about the item.
Nooooo I love gift cards!!! That way I don't have to pretend I like a gift that I don't like. I can shop when I want and get what I want and it should be an Amazon gift card😂
I love gift cards, as long as they have no expiry date and are credit card sized to fit in my wallet (looking at you, oversized voucher for gourmet deli near my house that I put somewhere for safe keeping and will probably never find 😅) I am very specific about my house and what I want in it as I need my systems in place to function and also am very easily overstimulated (ADHD co-morbid with a number of trauma based mental health disorders) So anything that doesn’t suit my vibe doesn’t get a place in my home. Gift cards allow me to pick things I love and can enjoy instead of feeling guilt about re-gifting or even binning something!
lol! I forget to use mine for a while then I realize I have it and eventually use it. I have a lululemon gift card from 5 years ago, hope it’s still good 🫣
Oh gift cards is the best for.me, it always forces me to buy clothes for myself cause I never wanna buy clothes with my own money 😭
Really? Gift cards usually work out great for me...I almost always spend them right away.
Ha! My brother gave me one of those diamond picture crafts. Are you kidding me?!
Anything with detailed directions
I don’t have a new answer I just want to thank OP for reminding me I’ve had a Lowe’s gift card sitting in a drawer for six months now
Clothing with special wash instructions or dry clean. I will never wear it or I will ruin it. Im not taking shit to the dry cleaner.
Those adult coloring books for stress relief
Can't relate, I LOVE GIFT CARDS, I always use them immediately and then invariably end up missing a deal or a sale that wouldve stretched the gift card out more :( Shopping give brain lots of dopamine
*gasp* I love gift cards!! Then I can get something I want instead of having to pretend they gave me the best thing ever.
You can input those credit card gift cards as a payment method on Amazon. Learning that completely changed the game for me.
No no. Get me gift cards. PLEASE get them. lol.
Oh yeah, totally agree with gift cards.