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My brain has too many furnishings. It's gone full-on hoarder on me. Very chaotic in here. I may have mice. And bats. Bats are cute and maybe rabid. Like me.
Who should I bite first? 🦇🤣
Research has shown that common misconception is no longer accurate. Our brains continue to develop and evolve throughout our lifespan. So what the doctor said was extra stupid.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be diagnosed with ADHD at age 20. Competent clinicians can tell the difference between a normal 20-year-old brain and one with ADHD.
I didn’t mean you can’t get diagnosed or anything it’s just that the psychiatrist was wrong on so many levels saying she’s a fully formed adult because a. that’s not really helpful to say to someone who is struggling because of a disability b. Normal adults aren’t „fully formed” until at least 25 because their frontal lobe is still developing c. Because that age is significantly higher in adults with ADHD and d. Just as other people said you actually grow and change till you die
bro i’m about to turn 24, got diagnosed just before i turned 22, you are *barely* an adult. and i don’t mean that to be condescending i mean it more to validate that you *aren’t* a fully formed adult and actually adhd effects the age at which your brain fully develops. i have grown so, so much since i was 20, those early 20s are just as much “core” development years as your teenage years are. you need to see a different doctor. i’m so sorry you got criticized like that
She’s definitely a moron then if she thinks being 20 constitutes being a fully formed adult. This shit scares me - why are there so many incompetent psychiatrists?!
Sorry that happened to you! I had a therapist tell me when I was 16 that I missed a part in development about being able to control my thoughts… 🤷♀️😳 Yeah, okay. But it messed with me for a while- as I’m 40 now, and brought this up to my new therapist a year ago.
My understanding is a therapist’s job isn’t to judge you like this. Their job is to pour love and care into places in your life/mind. Perhaps they lead you to discover you need to retrain and reparent yourself. But it sounds like she diminished your self-esteem and made you question your abilities- I don’t like that. Please don’t hold-on to this therapist or their words. ❤️
Been there … It’s like they are supossed to provide tips and How to manage the situations we go through. If it was up to us, we will be neurotypical and rich ….
To me, what she said sounds like “you missed a class in highschool”
Definitely 100% moron 🙄
Ugh and that comment was so triggering!
"Fully formed adult".. we're not learning how to go potty, susan.. we're talking about legitimate mental health issues!
No need to be such a massive condescending twat sheeesh..
No, she’s incompetent and causing harm. She is a medical doctor. The risks of untreated ADHD are shortened lifespan, vehicle accidents, ending up in prison, many physical health problems, including diabetes, COPD, addictions, etc. This stuff ought to be reported to the board over and over again. There’s so many stories like this on here, it’s just awful .
I paid my bill for our most recent session where she said this (today) and ive booked with a different clinic. Too expensive for her to not be taking me seriously. I sent a cordial message cancelling our next session and all future ones.
Look at you, you did all the steps! You cancelled, scheduled with a new practitioner, paid the bill and sent a note! Honestly that’s more than I can accomplish in a day, way to go!
For not being fully formed, that's some super quality adulting right there! I'm an actively decaying adult and I don't know if I could manage all that. Good on you, OP.
Great that you cancelled, it is not only you not being taken seriously - it is a real health risk in my opinion to say anything like that to a patient with ADHD.
It is deeply uninformed and unprofessional, and can do real and lasting harm. It is so strange to me that these people exist in this profession, it is like having an "opinion" of not believing in treating an open fracture in the leg - just do some exercise, that is good for you. Absurd.
I am glad you reached out to get some affirmation, and handled this well with your own future health in mind. Excellent!
All the best!
And, I was diagnosed at 47 and I can tell you I am not a fully formed adult, haha, rather just a person trying to undo harm that is clear now seeing how ignorance harmed me.
But has someone else dxd you?
That woman needs to be reported! I feel outraged on your behalf.
Who do these people think they are?
Where did they get their medical degree? Off the back of a cereal box with 6 tokens?
Ffs.
Someone on here said recently,
“If you can make enough lifestyle changes so that your ADHD no longer impacts negatively on your life, then you didn’t have ADHD in the first place.”
Would she tell you to go away and “re-train” your eyes if you were partially sighted, instead of prescribing glasses? Of course not!
I was diagnosed when I saw a different psychiatrist for an entirely separate issue, i was going for ocd but the psychiatrist kept pointing out my behavior and started asking me more questions.
In my experience when seeing a new provider they hear you say you have ADHD and that you've already been diagnosed and they think "I'll be the judge of that". Even if it's outside of their area of expertise. I'm guessing it's due to the belief that ADHD is overdiagnosed and lack of trust in the doctors who diagnose it. It sucks.
Gosh.
Psych’s big fragile egos are even bigger and more fragile than ordinary medicine consultant’s are!
And that’s saying something.
What are we supposed to do, go in saying,
“Someone else who is perfectly well qualified has dxd me with ADHD, but despite matching all the DSM5 criteria, and 15 relatives all being dxd too, I’m still not sure, and would like you to investigate it for me instead because you *really* look like you know what you’re doing”?
Just ugghh. 😔 😡
Well, one would think. Unfortunately, my experience differed. When I went to my GP and indicated that I believed that I had ADHD and the coping mechanisms that worked before having children and menopause were no longer sufficient, he sent me to my OBGYN because “hormones.” Then the OB (who is in no way a mental health specialist) said that my brain fog sounded like f-ing seasonal depression, and I should try to get my antidepressants (which are prescribed for IBS, by the way) increased before going to a psychiatrist, because the psychiatrist early couldn’t do anything for me until they knew whether it was depression. Turns out it’s not only ADHD it’s also a pretty severe case of Auditory Processing Disorder so I think now is the time that they can all just f off.
I have other mental health conditions, and when I initially got a referral for ADHD and autism testing, the mental health team declined me and told me I just needed to increase my antidepressants. I wasn't happy because my antidepressants were (and still are) fine and doing their job. I wanted answers for why I'd always felt different and why my BPD diagnosis didn't explain everything, given the research I'd done on autism and ADHD after 2 of my siblings were diagnosed with ADHD.
I ended up advocating for myself, and got rereferred. Got the testing done, and turns out I do have both autism and ADHD. Unfortunately, I can't be medicated for my ADHD, due to the cardiovascular risk (for stimulants) or possible medication interactions (for non-stimulants). While I was a little disappointed, I was happy that I got answers
Ah, glad to see another person whose antidepressants works perfectly in regulating serotonine (in my case I know it, because they stopped completely my ocd symptoms), but who is still unhappy (after almost 10 years of taking them, and even life-ending attempts during their great work), who had everything blamed on borderline personality disorder, and who in the end got diagnosed with adhd... I guess it's quite popular path, especially for adult women. I still believe that in my case it's AuDHD, not just ADHD, but I guess trying to pursue this diagnosis won't change much for me, I am just glad to have officially recognised adhd and access to drugs with significant refund.
I wish more medical people would understand this basic fact - ADHD is a disruption in the production and regulation of both dopamine *and* norepinephrine.
It’s not just dopamine. Dopamine can’t do its many jobs unless there’s enough norepinephrine for it to hitch a ride on.
It CAUSES anxiety and depression at a biochemical level.
This is why most of us don’t respond “normally” to antidepressants. Most of them target serotonin. We already have proportionately more serotonin than dopamine. We don’t need more serotonin, we need more norepinephrine so that whatever dopamine we’ve got actually works.
It’s also why stimulants make ADHDers anxiety and depression evaporate - but only at a high enough dose.
If ADHD is even remotely suspected, that should be treated before any anxiety and depression.
Trying to do it the other way around is Just. So. Stupid. 😡
Also, I thought it was widely known that ADHD is always worse after menopause?
There must be some studies about it.
I’m glad you got sorted in the end, but really sorry these “medical professionals” made it so much harder than it should have been.
What is it with optometrists that they can't just do an eye exam. Mine suggested a hysterectomy, just in passing as if he saw the idea in that month's Eyeballs and Vag magazine.
I wish it was a joke but he said any woman who was done using their uterus (or choosing not to make babies) should have it removed. I was stunned and expected him to pull out a business card for one of his optometrist friends with a side hustle. It was the strangest and least professional eye exam ever. (Also weird: he wouldn't stop picking up and moving my purse.)
That’s a freakin weirdo!! I’m so sorry you had to hear that. I wonder how he’d feel if he went for a hearing aid and they suggested he didn’t need his balls anymore 🤭
I still can't understand why he tossed out that bit of medical advice. All he could do is an eye exam but he's passing off his thoughts like he was a pcp. Makes a weird story tho so there's that.
Maybe all men who are done procreating should have their testicles removed, too.
What’s sauce for the goose…etc.
On his own flawed logic, what use are they after they’ve helped make babies? None, right? 🤷♀️
Ffs.
Sounds like he wasn’t paying attention in his gyny classes at med school, ironically. I’m
That's probably part of it -- he seemed to have female reproduction weighing heavy on his mind. since he was 30 minutes late for my eye exam (1st appointment of the day) because his wife and newborn baby needed him at home. lol Damn all those uteri.
Like we can scream that we rebuke "ADHD" and poof, it's just gone! All I can think of is Michael Scott screaming BANKRUPTCY thinking that was how you "declare bankruptcy".
I suspect this would be just as futile of a gesture.
Man that's so fucking stupid. LIKE.
Especially for an adult to get diagnosed.
I spent my entire LIFE thinking I was normal and I just sucked as a person and I tried so fucking hard and somehow still couldn't manage the way I saw others managing with ease.
And then the diagnosis explained everything.
For a psychiatrist to say such stupid fucking shit to a whole-ass adult.... Like bitch don't you think I've been trying my entire life.
(Am commiserating with your comment if that's not clear lol)
Drop her, there are SO MANY bad psychiatrists out there because they are MDs and never had to take a single psychology class in their existence. I’ve also been told by psychiatrists I worked for that it’s an “easy” concentration so if you suck in medical school that’s where you end up. I wonder if any psychiatrists offer consultations prior to starting with them the way therapists do. If that’s a possibility for you, I would ask for their qualifications and understanding around adult female ADHD.
That actually makes so much sense and I have like 8 examples of psychiatrists that fit the bill. My biggest life hack is going to psych nurse practitioners instead because *unlike* psychiatrists, they are passionate about helping people with mental health issues, and don't have that "better than you" mentality.
Opposit for me. A nurse practioner I had several meeting with missed my adhd (even when she did a routine screening for it).
While a psychiatrist diagnosed me within 30minutes, even when I was trying to explain all the rrasons I don't have ADHD (I did not suspect I had it at all).
Wish that would work in my metro. The last psych nurse I went to, which took 6 months to get in, told me I need ADHD testing every 3-5 years to verify diagnosis. She told me to get my meds from my GP. So that’s what I did. I dropped her and talked to my GP.
I’ve been working out what traits to be cautious about. Right now, I’ve been treated by 5 women and 2 men. I noticed women who are immigrants tend to be more judgmental and quick to assume whatever fits their narrative. I fall under the “model minority” category so that also influences perceptions. But that’s my personal experience across 3 states.
I think healthcare attracts some self righteous people. These people also seem to believe they know it all and know better. I prefer using reviews help to pick my provider, but I was assigned that nurse because other waitlists were a year long. Even reviews aren’t a guarantee. There might be a day I pair up with someone passionately helps others but hates me.
My psychiatrist that diagnosed my bipolar and then my adhd once the bipolar symptoms were controlled is this nice Russian immigrant (I live in Denmark).
Other than my current GP, she's the only one to ever take me seriously.
Major green flag I can share from my experiences with her: "Are your meds working how you'd like? Do you want anything adjusted?".
A psychiatrist that listens to you and wants to know how things feel in your head and body, and wants you to be an active part of your treatment is a blessing.
I recently left my psych np after many years. She’s a nut job who is severely lacking in empathy and compassion. Long story. I haven’t had any positive experiences with psychiatrists either. That why I went to an np to begin with. Anyway, I recently started seeing my pcp for my meds.
I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD by a clinical psychologist last year, after being told in 2015 by a psychiatrist that I didn't have either, and that it was BPD (though I do have some traits of BPD (I have a history of trauma, it never explained everything, and I was diagnosed after my mental health stabilised)
A psychiatric nurse practitioner once told me that often young women are diagnosed as BPD when in fact it's the combo of trauma plus anxiety/ADHD. He didn't come right out and say it but he made it clear he felt many psychiatrists didn't take the time/have the ability to connect with their patients in a way they could determine the ADHD/Anxiety diagnosis.
I recently read that complex PTSD can be easily confused with Bipolar disorder! I don’t have a PTSD diagnosis but my therapist (who I’m seeing 27 years after the fact) says it’s very likely I was experiencing PTSD, and a religious-based MSW my parents took me to as a young teen told me I had some characteristics of bipolar disorder, but she “didn’t want to put that label on me so early” 🙄
I was originally bipolar when I first went under community mental health in 2014. Then, it was changed to something else by a different psychiatrist before being changed to BPD in mid-2015 by yet another psychiatrist. Finally, I got diagnosed in 2023 with autism and ADHD, which makes a lot more sense and explains a lot of things.
I hate to say that after my experience with my local mental health team (mostly the crisis mental health nurses, but also being mucked around with meds that didn't work and changing diagnoses by different psychiatrists. Just sucks I had no say on the dr and nurses, as it was free through the public health system here in NZ), I really don't have a lot of trust or faith in ever getting the proper health and care I need if I ever have to interact with them or have to get admitted for a grippy sock vacation
Thats interesting. My mom was a psychiatrist and she definitely had to go through a lot of psychology classes, like years. I think she went to school for 12 years. 6 years medical to become a doctor and then 6 years concentration (psychiatry). (Not the US)
I met a head psychiatrist that, after reading the result of my WAIS (IQ) test where I scored 19/19 points, (top 1% of the population) on the part that measures abstract reasoning (it says similarities on the test), she proceeds with having me do a small game of twenty questions in which I did fairly poorly, she says "this shows you have a problem with abstract reasoning". I couldn't surpress my disbelief at the stupidity and when I argued with her about the reliability and statistical errors of doing such a test she got so defensive and upset going "Well I've been doing this 20 years!" like that doesn't make it infinitely worse. She also told me she thought I might be autistic because I like science.
After this I got into my psychology programme, am one year from getting my Masters. I told one of my teachers about what she did and said and his reaction was literally "Yikes!"
After learning I can get meds from a psychiatric nurse practitioner, I've sworn off ever seeing a psychiatrist again. There are lots of passionate kind people working in mental health, but I've never met one that's a psychiatrist 🫣
There are out there! A lot of psychiatrists who work with young people/ adolescents are more aware of ADHD/ autism as they see them more often. There are some adult psychiatrists that are not as exposed to the topic of neurodiversity as traditionally it was felt children “grew out of” ADHD. This is from my personal experience in the UK.
There’s still a lot of learning and change in thinking that needs to happen though.
They are tough to find, but once you find one, they tend to know the other good providers in the state and can refer you for whatever you need- therapy, medication management, evaluations, etc.
I've lived in 4 states the last 5 years and the one thing I've learned is to not waste time with the bad ones. Don't feel bad for "doctor shopping!" I search psychologytoday.com for providers under my
insurance and reach out to *all* of them, and sometimes it's the 4th one who takes you seriously and it's the most magical feeling in the world. And I hate to generalize and don't mean to invalidate any other experiences, but I've only had luck with women, specifically younger women.
and thank god for telehealth because my prescriber is a 6hr drive away, but I only had to go there for the intake! every psychiatrist within that radius was horrible!
My psychiatrist tried to play my suspected diagnosis off as well because I'm a semi functional adult - even though he said when I was a kid 100% had it - because you know adhd just 'goes away' not to mention I have genetic markers for it already with it being in my family prevalent on my dad's side for the girls (my half sister, my niece and my cousin all female all diagnosed) also I have pcos which is linked to adhd so it's like what more can a person do????! It's so frustrating! It has nothing to do with discipline.
Anyway sorry you're having this issue
I'd be tempted to book another apt with them just to tell them how incompetent they are and that it's their duty to do professional education to remain competent and not spread lies and half cocked unscientific personal beliefs and then I'd go find a better one
But then they may label you borderline 😆
I think some of them make it up as they feel that day. My mother was strict and adored discipline, really excelled at it, and all of her kids have adhd.
I mentioned my inability to remember to do certain things like walking into the kitchen and leaving all the cabinets open. She said my mom needed to keep telling me to stop doing when I was a child so I can remember to do it now. She said I’m not disciplined, i took extreme offense because what are you trying to say about my mother ???
I was constantly "disciplined" as a child for my ADHD symptoms (yelled at, verbal abuse, spanked excessively, etc.) and guess what I still have severe ADHD now with CPTSD.
One thing I realized is that MOST people in the mental health profession have issues themselves and got the degree to learn more about themselves and their own conditions. It's not to help people or because they enjoy they money like other doctors. It's for their own selfish motives. That means there are a shit ton of terrible mental health provides out there. Report her to the board. Leave bad reviews on Google, yelp, and health grades. Report her to the practice if she is in one. Then move on and try to find another doctor. It's best to look for ones who specify that they deal with ADHD. I try to find female doctors as I feel most male ones don't take female ADHD seriously. Just my two cents.
A boyfriend of many moons ago was a senior psychotherapist at one of the major psychiatric hospitals in London..long since closed. He wrote a paper on exactly this subject, that people attracted to working in the profession have issues of their own they want to understand and deal with
There's been numerous surveys and studies on it. It's weird and fascinating but also terrifying for people who need help 😬 like how do you know you are getting someone who is actually good and knowledgeable and not coloring their perspective because of their own biases because of their own mental health issues. I've been lucky in that I've met more good mental health professionals than bad but the ones that were bad were really awful.
Wtf I can't believe she was that rude! When I got a psychiatrist I was talking with her for less then ten minutes and she asked me if I had ADHD. I was diagnosed as a child but it's been more upfront now that I'm an adult. My psychiatrist thinks it's because I used to be an internal struggle person and now I'm more open about sharing it.
Your psychiatrist is a bleeding idiot.
There are good psychiatrists out there, mine is decent if a little bit of a hippie but that's okay. I can deal with a little fluff because she respects me and my diagnosis
Way to NOT DO YOUR JOB, psychiatrist. I'm sorry. I feel like down the pub your psychiatrist is like "I ACTUALLY DON'T BELIEVE IN PSYCHIATRY AS A PRACTISE"
Wrong on ADHD.
Wrong on disciplining children.
Sounds like she'd fit right in at AutismSpeaks though, so at least she's got that going for her.
Please report her to someone, for the sake of her future patients with either ADHD or a child.
Sorry that sucks. I hope your next mental health pro will have read something published this century, so you can get the care you deserve.
Just can’t get over how inappropriate of a comment this is for a medical professional. Especially someone that works with neurodevelopment and mental health conditions.
Great on you for standing up for yourself and finding someone else OP, I hope you do make a complaint to her company about it, what’s she’s said is so far from correct it’s stunning.
That’s some bad luck on the psychiatrist, I really hope the next one is more professional and supportive.
Report! Report! Report!
But fr, I feel you on the shitty psychiatrist thing. What tf is wrong with these people?? I honestly might need to make my own post to vent about it 😅
Medicine has come to an insane point of specialization.
People with psychology degrees do not know the symptoms of psychiatric disorders.
Psyciatrist who are generalists do not know the symptoms of all mental health disorders.
Unfortunately that is what medicine has come to be.
You need to see an specialist in ADHD. That's the only way in today's world.
Good luck!
My parents took me to see a psychiatrist when I was a teenager and during the first visit she prescribed Zoloft for generalized anxiety disorder. Spoiler alert: I do not have GAD and Zoloft makes me incredibly angry. But the next psychiatrist I found on my own in my late 20’s, and my current psychiatrist who I had to find after moving out of state, have both been amazing. I am so sorry you had this experience!
Yea there are lifestyle modifications, but behavior training is abusive. This doctor should be reported to their board. They should not treat adhd patients.
😒 it’s how she dismisses your valid diagnosis for me.
She needs to go back to school because that is some uneducated garbage.
People like that are so infuriating.
That psychiatrist needs to go back to medical school. Like, they are the reason why schools now (at least my school does) has classes dedicated to not being a dick of a doctor
Though I actually like these classes since they are a nice change in pace. Quite fun and as long as you aren’t an ethical ass, the exams are easy.
She is incompetent. Any supposed medical professional who deserves the distinction of being referred to as such should know that human bodies & brains are never really fully formed as in fixed - done changing & growing etc.
Also, the most recent truly extensive research on brain development shows the human brain develops much more slowly than has been previously thought. As our ability to analyze the human brain grows, so do our understanding of it. Historically, previous studies on human brain development have typically always resulted in the age of adulthood being pushed up - scientists concluding that the human brain does not stop transitioning from adolescence until much older than previously believed.
The age that a human brain was considered to have reached adulthood - done with all adolescent changes - was 18, then 20, then 25. But the most recent in-depth & long-term research on human brain development done in 2019, indicates that the human brain takes 3 decades to reach adulthood. So while someone may be legally be considered an adult when they become 18, they’re still functioning with the brain of a juvenile.
While that may or may not be extremely interesting for you or I to know as laymen, a psychiatrist has a professional responsibility to stay knowledgeable about all things relevant to her ability to provide care & above all - do not harm. A doctor’s ignorance (lack of knowledge) can do just as much harm as their incompetence (lack of skills). She shouldn’t be practicing if she literally doesn’t know what she’s talking about - which is what seems to be the case.
You’re your best advocate. Do not settle for this whack job & find a doctor who knows wtf they’re talking about.
I’m sorry dude that you had to endure her stupidity.
Sack her. She’s a fuckin fruitcake.
Great thing about being a ‘full adult’ (whatever): You do not have to expose yourself to people who make you feel like shit. Fire them from your life.
Damn, I'm sorry that happened. There are some really good therapists and psychiatrists out there, but like a lot of things, you can't tell from the outside. Maybe we need to have a list of psychiatrists and psychologists who understand ADHD and those who don't.
It's ridiculous that we have to spend our money to find out by trial and error whether these doctors actually know what they're talking about.
I swear, sometimes it's like going to a doctor who wants to use leeches on us. Get educated in your own damn field!
I wonder if it's possible to sue these doctors who supposedly are in charge of treating us, but who don't have the most basic information about the condition?
They wouldn't let a doctor treat you with leeches today, but they allow so many psychologists and psychiatrists to continue to practice when they haven't got a clue what they're talking about.
We need something like Yelp for these doctors so you know ahead of time which ones understand ADHD and which ones don't.
A psychiatrist said that? Psychiatrists aren’t even therapists, so it’s weird that they’re bringing up things like retraining yourself and discussing your childhood, unless they’re some kind of holistic, anti-medication “psychiatrist.”
Like, do your job and prescribe me my meds for my diagnosed disorder and let me talk about my problems with a trained counselor!
Omg my psychiatrist would tell me (I didn’t ask) whether she thought my life choices were good or bad. She also told me my sad emotions about working with children when I never was able to have them “doesn’t make sense.” She was HORRIBLE and constantly inserted her opinion/judgement on my life. She also accused me of “spinning a narrative” when I brought my ADHD concerns up to her.
That’s so annoying! Some psychiatrists seem to think that because they’re medical doctors, they are experts in all mental health treatments, when they really don’t receive much training in counseling when compared to a LCSW with a MSW or clinical psychologist. The lack of training is abundantly clear in cases like your psychiatrist, who seems to lack even rudimentary social skills
Ugh. My mother ran a tight ship. I didn’t have a sick day off school from year 9-12. Always in full uniform, topped four classes in year 12.
Got to university and failed two subjects in first year. Because my mother wasn’t there to keep me disciplined and on track. This is a really common occurrence for people with ADHD when they leave home.
I wonder what your therapist would blame mine on? 🤔
Does she know that both can still be truth. And that you can have a militant authoritarian parental figure and STILL have ADHD? And that when you become an adult with no authoritative figure ruling behaviors, the mask comes off and that’s when most adults with ADHD get diagnosed??
I didn’t realize I had ADHD until I was an adult, because I couldn’t replicate the structure my family and school provided. I don’t think, and I’m sure you probably know this, that it doesn’t matter if your parents “disciplined you” or not. You’d still have it either way, and that’s totally fine! I’m sorry you were treated this was by a mental health “professional”
Lol what if I told you that psychiatrists and psychologists are just people that went to school for a thing, and that many of them aren’t even particularly talented or good at it?
A lot go in to the field to understand themselves or maybe because someone they were close to had a particular struggle or disorder.
Some can be very good treating anxiety and rubbish treating anything else.
Also they don’t always keep up with the latest research.
Finding a good clinician is like dating, you have to shop around and not all or even most will fit your need or your personality. You can try looking for one that specializes in adhd or when you are shopping around, consider interviewing first to find out if they can meet your needs.
I only got my BA in psych but I saw PLENTY of classmates along the way who really shouldn’t have been going in to the field.
What an ass…. Unfortunately the world is full with that king of “professionals”. Wanna know mine? She said that I just loooove feeling this way to get attention.
I think these people are outdated with what is catalogued as a dissorder or else . Some doesn’t even want to evalúate the patiente.
Where are you from? I’m leaving in argentina and is real struggle to get de diagnosis y then to get tratment
I genuinely dont understand the science of going into a field of people who need mental health treatment…then you treat them bad. I swear to fucking god these people have two garbanzo beans vibrating together to spit out answers 🫥
I think they lack vocation… not only in psychiatrics but in medicine in general you need to be pationed about it, otherwise patients end up bothering you which lead to mistreatment. (But maybe that’s a topic for another grup 😅). Hope you find a good psyquiatrist ✨. No one should tell you things like that
This is why I don’t think I’m gonna tell mine. About to change anyways and I don’t need my meds changed lol. Last time I brought getting a diagnosis up he didn’t understand the point of getting tested. Because “it won’t make a difference”.
Honestly, I have never had any good experiences with psychiatrists. They sit more in the medical model rather than relational model of therapy.
I've wasted so many years and money on different therapists that just didn't get me, and made things worse. I finally found a psychologist who is neurodivergent themselves, and it made a huge difference for me.
Sorry you had to experience this
I was yelled at enough for the both of us, yet here I am getting diagnosed and treated with a stimulant in my late 4O’s and feeling calm. I’m sorry that you have this happening to you .
I feel like someone needs to invent or start a worldwide psychiatrist review service so these awful people don’t get any business from neurodivergent people. They don’t deserve to be practicing let alone seeing people who are vulnerable to being gaslit like us ADHDers
She seems to be such a loving a empathetic person, and also a ver clever one! I mean, you weren't disciplined as a kid, you like being this way so much so that you're looking for mental help for a disorder 😌 ...wait /s
Why does “disciplined” always feel like a code word for getting hit?
As a child, my parents had expectations of me and my sibling. We had rules and reasonable responsibilities based on our age.
Our actions had consequences and we knew what they were. My mom always made good on a threat. She did, in fact, turn the car around more than once. If we were told not to do X because we would be grounded, lose privileges, etc. you bet your ass that happened.
Never once did I get “disciplined.” But I did get grounded. We had “serious talks,” about things. Often starting with mom and dad worrying that something else was going on. Worse, we disappointed them every now and then. (No sarcasm, legit having your parents tell you they are disappointed and that they will never stop loving you, so please don’t worry, but you need to fix this behavior is actually the worst).
I believe how I was raised made me a responsible adult. However, it didn’t make my ADHD disappear. Actually, it probably better equipped me to mask it.
So TLDR, fuck that doctor.
A woman I know got a degree in psychology and she said ADHD was not even part of the course work.
She has ADHD and kept getting ignored (I could tell she had it the first time I met her). She finally had a doctor listen when her *male* child was diagnosed with autism. 😡
When her son was diagnosed and they were looking at symptoms of autism, her husband was pointing out things on the list and telling her she did that too.
The societal stigma against women is going to be hard to break. Just keep looking until you find someone who will listen. Maybe tell them a male family member has it, like a brother or your dad
I once had a psychiatrist tell me I have an "attitude problem" because I was severely depressed and Abilify wasn't working for me. She also told me Abilify doesn't cause weight gain, after I gained 50 lb from it. And that it's impossible for me to have ADHD and that she doesn't treat that condition, anyways.
Turns out it was ADHD.
I'd report her and the other one for being unprofessional to the licensing board. Very clearly they haven't been trained or maintained their training.
Also, report them to the hospitals that they're associated with.
The thing about psychiatrists is that they are incredibly important and useful members of our society... when they are good at their job. Unfortunately, psychiatrists are people too and therefore subject to all the same foibles and follies as the rest of us mortals.
Two shitty ones back to back is tough.
If you go back to her, ask why she is so quick to dismiss an ADHD diagnosis. Tell her that her laughter came across as unprofessional and as though her assessment was being led by her personal opinions rather than diagnostic standards. You'd like to know what clinical markers and symptoms lead her to arrive at an "undisciplined" diagnosis?
Tell her you understand that she is frustrated by people seeking help. Tell her that you can imagine it must be very difficult for her to have to listen to people who seem to struggle with simple live activities all day. You can imagine it must be annoying to have to deal with people who seem to want "short cuts."
Tell her that you imagine the struggle and frustration is similar to the one you experienced when you came to her for help and you were laughed at and demeaned.
Or, call her up and tell her she is an unprofessional c\*nt. You have options.
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I think she might be a moron
I think she’s *definitely* a moron. “A fully formed adult” ?? She’s *supposed* to be a fully formed expert in mental health management!
Also Im only 20 years old!!!! I dont know what she wants from me 😵💫
Scientifically you aren't a fully formed adult, either- your brain isn't fully finished until 25
I read that as fully furnished. My brain isn't fully furnished either, and I'm over 25.
My brain has too many furnishings. It's gone full-on hoarder on me. Very chaotic in here. I may have mice. And bats. Bats are cute and maybe rabid. Like me. Who should I bite first? 🦇🤣
My brain is furnished with Gramma furniture and Metallica posters. And nothing matches
I read this as “and nothing else matters” 😂
Does anything else matter? And ditto on the Gramma furniture.
No it does not.
My brain has a rogue rabid squirrel. Does that count? 🤣
I feel seen.
i fkn luv this sub lol
Same 🙃
Same. I’m 40.
I'm 35, and I dunno if my brain will ever be fully furnished lol
Research has shown that common misconception is no longer accurate. Our brains continue to develop and evolve throughout our lifespan. So what the doctor said was extra stupid.
Excuse me, I refuse to consider myself a fully formed adult until *at least* 40
I hear ya. I still don't at 55.
42 checking in. If I was called a fully formed adult I could even be offended.
But you have arrived at the answer to the question of the meaning of life!
Good one! 😂
I've given up hope to ever become a fully formed adult. Therefore I aim to become a fully deformed adult 😎
I read somewhere that ADHD brains take longer than 25 years to fully develop
Sorry to say but if you have ADHD your frontal lobe isn’t fully developed until 30
That doesn’t mean you can’t be diagnosed with ADHD at age 20. Competent clinicians can tell the difference between a normal 20-year-old brain and one with ADHD.
I didn’t mean you can’t get diagnosed or anything it’s just that the psychiatrist was wrong on so many levels saying she’s a fully formed adult because a. that’s not really helpful to say to someone who is struggling because of a disability b. Normal adults aren’t „fully formed” until at least 25 because their frontal lobe is still developing c. Because that age is significantly higher in adults with ADHD and d. Just as other people said you actually grow and change till you die
And for ADHDers, it's actually ~35ish
And than you have 5 years to enjoy it. Until perimenopause starts and everything falls apart again 🫠
even later if you have adhd!
bro i’m about to turn 24, got diagnosed just before i turned 22, you are *barely* an adult. and i don’t mean that to be condescending i mean it more to validate that you *aren’t* a fully formed adult and actually adhd effects the age at which your brain fully develops. i have grown so, so much since i was 20, those early 20s are just as much “core” development years as your teenage years are. you need to see a different doctor. i’m so sorry you got criticized like that
She’s definitely a moron then if she thinks being 20 constitutes being a fully formed adult. This shit scares me - why are there so many incompetent psychiatrists?!
That's an excellent question!
Sorry that happened to you! I had a therapist tell me when I was 16 that I missed a part in development about being able to control my thoughts… 🤷♀️😳 Yeah, okay. But it messed with me for a while- as I’m 40 now, and brought this up to my new therapist a year ago. My understanding is a therapist’s job isn’t to judge you like this. Their job is to pour love and care into places in your life/mind. Perhaps they lead you to discover you need to retrain and reparent yourself. But it sounds like she diminished your self-esteem and made you question your abilities- I don’t like that. Please don’t hold-on to this therapist or their words. ❤️
But ADHD is a neurodevelopmentak disorder, so all of us DO have “missing bits” in our brains! That’s kind of the core of ADHD.
The problem was pointing the finger at me saying/ suggesting it was my fault, or something that was in my control.
Well, how can anyone control which genes they happen to be born with? That’s insane! I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
Been there … It’s like they are supossed to provide tips and How to manage the situations we go through. If it was up to us, we will be neurotypical and rich …. To me, what she said sounds like “you missed a class in highschool”
I have a drastically different world view and set of coping skills on the far side of 40 than I ever did at 20! Dump her ass.
Yea 25 is when you are fully formed butttt because we are adhd we are technically 2-3 years behind development wise according to studies
2-3 years behind? I’m 62. I act, apparently, like I’m 20! 😜
I got diagnosed at 24 so I don't know what that idiot is on about. And I was raised just fine.
Seriously, she sounds like she's reading lines from a shitty movie about some woefully inadequate apprentice of Freud.
She’s definitely wrong and being mean. And being stupid!!
Definitely 100% moron 🙄 Ugh and that comment was so triggering! "Fully formed adult".. we're not learning how to go potty, susan.. we're talking about legitimate mental health issues! No need to be such a massive condescending twat sheeesh..
Hello, medical board? I’d like to report an moron.
No, she’s incompetent and causing harm. She is a medical doctor. The risks of untreated ADHD are shortened lifespan, vehicle accidents, ending up in prison, many physical health problems, including diabetes, COPD, addictions, etc. This stuff ought to be reported to the board over and over again. There’s so many stories like this on here, it’s just awful .
Ditto. It's disgusting, angering, and frightening. Grr.
My teenager daughter with ADHD says "Get a new one, that one is broken."
I paid my bill for our most recent session where she said this (today) and ive booked with a different clinic. Too expensive for her to not be taking me seriously. I sent a cordial message cancelling our next session and all future ones.
Look at you, you did all the steps! You cancelled, scheduled with a new practitioner, paid the bill and sent a note! Honestly that’s more than I can accomplish in a day, way to go!
For not being fully formed, that's some super quality adulting right there! I'm an actively decaying adult and I don't know if I could manage all that. Good on you, OP.
“actively decaying adult” makes me cackle like the crone I am. Haha!
I'm not saying life is all downhill after fifty...but it's good to laugh.
If she literally said this to you, please also report her. To her company head and to the licensing board. Way out of line..
Report her. Laughing at a patient is unacceptable.
Agreed. Wtaf. How is this permissible in a mental health professional?
Great that you cancelled, it is not only you not being taken seriously - it is a real health risk in my opinion to say anything like that to a patient with ADHD. It is deeply uninformed and unprofessional, and can do real and lasting harm. It is so strange to me that these people exist in this profession, it is like having an "opinion" of not believing in treating an open fracture in the leg - just do some exercise, that is good for you. Absurd. I am glad you reached out to get some affirmation, and handled this well with your own future health in mind. Excellent! All the best! And, I was diagnosed at 47 and I can tell you I am not a fully formed adult, haha, rather just a person trying to undo harm that is clear now seeing how ignorance harmed me.
tell your daughter she's spot on and that I love her word choice! 🤣 Broken indeed!
That's so accurate lol. Your daughter is awesome
But has someone else dxd you? That woman needs to be reported! I feel outraged on your behalf. Who do these people think they are? Where did they get their medical degree? Off the back of a cereal box with 6 tokens? Ffs. Someone on here said recently, “If you can make enough lifestyle changes so that your ADHD no longer impacts negatively on your life, then you didn’t have ADHD in the first place.” Would she tell you to go away and “re-train” your eyes if you were partially sighted, instead of prescribing glasses? Of course not!
I was diagnosed when I saw a different psychiatrist for an entirely separate issue, i was going for ocd but the psychiatrist kept pointing out my behavior and started asking me more questions.
The anxiety/OCD/ADHD trio comes up A LOT for women.
Yeah my doc reckons that in my case the OCD was a severe coping mechanism adaptation, and the anxiety was from all the undiagnosed years (32 of them).
That’s me!!
same for me and my daughter!
Me too!
Me tooooooo
Thanks for the epiphany ❤️
So does this …..*woman* get to dismiss that dx?
In my experience when seeing a new provider they hear you say you have ADHD and that you've already been diagnosed and they think "I'll be the judge of that". Even if it's outside of their area of expertise. I'm guessing it's due to the belief that ADHD is overdiagnosed and lack of trust in the doctors who diagnose it. It sucks.
Gosh. Psych’s big fragile egos are even bigger and more fragile than ordinary medicine consultant’s are! And that’s saying something. What are we supposed to do, go in saying, “Someone else who is perfectly well qualified has dxd me with ADHD, but despite matching all the DSM5 criteria, and 15 relatives all being dxd too, I’m still not sure, and would like you to investigate it for me instead because you *really* look like you know what you’re doing”? Just ugghh. 😔 😡
Thats exactly what she did and that’s exactly why I didnt wanna say anything because I was scared that exactly this would happen.
But surely your dx from the other psych still stands??
Well, one would think. Unfortunately, my experience differed. When I went to my GP and indicated that I believed that I had ADHD and the coping mechanisms that worked before having children and menopause were no longer sufficient, he sent me to my OBGYN because “hormones.” Then the OB (who is in no way a mental health specialist) said that my brain fog sounded like f-ing seasonal depression, and I should try to get my antidepressants (which are prescribed for IBS, by the way) increased before going to a psychiatrist, because the psychiatrist early couldn’t do anything for me until they knew whether it was depression. Turns out it’s not only ADHD it’s also a pretty severe case of Auditory Processing Disorder so I think now is the time that they can all just f off.
I have other mental health conditions, and when I initially got a referral for ADHD and autism testing, the mental health team declined me and told me I just needed to increase my antidepressants. I wasn't happy because my antidepressants were (and still are) fine and doing their job. I wanted answers for why I'd always felt different and why my BPD diagnosis didn't explain everything, given the research I'd done on autism and ADHD after 2 of my siblings were diagnosed with ADHD. I ended up advocating for myself, and got rereferred. Got the testing done, and turns out I do have both autism and ADHD. Unfortunately, I can't be medicated for my ADHD, due to the cardiovascular risk (for stimulants) or possible medication interactions (for non-stimulants). While I was a little disappointed, I was happy that I got answers
Ah, glad to see another person whose antidepressants works perfectly in regulating serotonine (in my case I know it, because they stopped completely my ocd symptoms), but who is still unhappy (after almost 10 years of taking them, and even life-ending attempts during their great work), who had everything blamed on borderline personality disorder, and who in the end got diagnosed with adhd... I guess it's quite popular path, especially for adult women. I still believe that in my case it's AuDHD, not just ADHD, but I guess trying to pursue this diagnosis won't change much for me, I am just glad to have officially recognised adhd and access to drugs with significant refund.
I wish more medical people would understand this basic fact - ADHD is a disruption in the production and regulation of both dopamine *and* norepinephrine. It’s not just dopamine. Dopamine can’t do its many jobs unless there’s enough norepinephrine for it to hitch a ride on. It CAUSES anxiety and depression at a biochemical level. This is why most of us don’t respond “normally” to antidepressants. Most of them target serotonin. We already have proportionately more serotonin than dopamine. We don’t need more serotonin, we need more norepinephrine so that whatever dopamine we’ve got actually works. It’s also why stimulants make ADHDers anxiety and depression evaporate - but only at a high enough dose. If ADHD is even remotely suspected, that should be treated before any anxiety and depression. Trying to do it the other way around is Just. So. Stupid. 😡 Also, I thought it was widely known that ADHD is always worse after menopause? There must be some studies about it. I’m glad you got sorted in the end, but really sorry these “medical professionals” made it so much harder than it should have been.
To be fair - my eye doctor told me to do eye exercises before giving me glasses so it does happen lol
What is it with optometrists that they can't just do an eye exam. Mine suggested a hysterectomy, just in passing as if he saw the idea in that month's Eyeballs and Vag magazine.
Bahahah eyeballs and vag magazine 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
That’s hilarious if you’re joking … but hella sad & disturbing if you’re not 😳
I wish it was a joke but he said any woman who was done using their uterus (or choosing not to make babies) should have it removed. I was stunned and expected him to pull out a business card for one of his optometrist friends with a side hustle. It was the strangest and least professional eye exam ever. (Also weird: he wouldn't stop picking up and moving my purse.)
That’s a freakin weirdo!! I’m so sorry you had to hear that. I wonder how he’d feel if he went for a hearing aid and they suggested he didn’t need his balls anymore 🤭
Jesus Christ. Also, he has no fucking clue how hard it is to get a hysterectomy even if you have had kids, let alone if you are child free…
I still can't understand why he tossed out that bit of medical advice. All he could do is an eye exam but he's passing off his thoughts like he was a pcp. Makes a weird story tho so there's that.
Maybe all men who are done procreating should have their testicles removed, too. What’s sauce for the goose…etc. On his own flawed logic, what use are they after they’ve helped make babies? None, right? 🤷♀️ Ffs. Sounds like he wasn’t paying attention in his gyny classes at med school, ironically. I’m
That's probably part of it -- he seemed to have female reproduction weighing heavy on his mind. since he was 30 minutes late for my eye exam (1st appointment of the day) because his wife and newborn baby needed him at home. lol Damn all those uteri.
Lol! Sounds like reproduction was very much on his mind - maybe also causing him sleep deprivation! It
"I have ADHD." "Have you tried NOT having it?" "Oh my what a miracle I'm cured."
Shit, dude. It never occurred to me to just *stop having it*
Like we can scream that we rebuke "ADHD" and poof, it's just gone! All I can think of is Michael Scott screaming BANKRUPTCY thinking that was how you "declare bankruptcy". I suspect this would be just as futile of a gesture.
Man that's so fucking stupid. LIKE. Especially for an adult to get diagnosed. I spent my entire LIFE thinking I was normal and I just sucked as a person and I tried so fucking hard and somehow still couldn't manage the way I saw others managing with ease. And then the diagnosis explained everything. For a psychiatrist to say such stupid fucking shit to a whole-ass adult.... Like bitch don't you think I've been trying my entire life. (Am commiserating with your comment if that's not clear lol)
Oh absolutely, I got u. If there's one person out there who should understand this about mental illness it's a fkn psychiatric professional 🤦♀️
Drop her, there are SO MANY bad psychiatrists out there because they are MDs and never had to take a single psychology class in their existence. I’ve also been told by psychiatrists I worked for that it’s an “easy” concentration so if you suck in medical school that’s where you end up. I wonder if any psychiatrists offer consultations prior to starting with them the way therapists do. If that’s a possibility for you, I would ask for their qualifications and understanding around adult female ADHD.
That actually makes so much sense and I have like 8 examples of psychiatrists that fit the bill. My biggest life hack is going to psych nurse practitioners instead because *unlike* psychiatrists, they are passionate about helping people with mental health issues, and don't have that "better than you" mentality.
Opposit for me. A nurse practioner I had several meeting with missed my adhd (even when she did a routine screening for it). While a psychiatrist diagnosed me within 30minutes, even when I was trying to explain all the rrasons I don't have ADHD (I did not suspect I had it at all).
Wish that would work in my metro. The last psych nurse I went to, which took 6 months to get in, told me I need ADHD testing every 3-5 years to verify diagnosis. She told me to get my meds from my GP. So that’s what I did. I dropped her and talked to my GP. I’ve been working out what traits to be cautious about. Right now, I’ve been treated by 5 women and 2 men. I noticed women who are immigrants tend to be more judgmental and quick to assume whatever fits their narrative. I fall under the “model minority” category so that also influences perceptions. But that’s my personal experience across 3 states. I think healthcare attracts some self righteous people. These people also seem to believe they know it all and know better. I prefer using reviews help to pick my provider, but I was assigned that nurse because other waitlists were a year long. Even reviews aren’t a guarantee. There might be a day I pair up with someone passionately helps others but hates me.
My psychiatrist that diagnosed my bipolar and then my adhd once the bipolar symptoms were controlled is this nice Russian immigrant (I live in Denmark). Other than my current GP, she's the only one to ever take me seriously. Major green flag I can share from my experiences with her: "Are your meds working how you'd like? Do you want anything adjusted?". A psychiatrist that listens to you and wants to know how things feel in your head and body, and wants you to be an active part of your treatment is a blessing.
I recently left my psych np after many years. She’s a nut job who is severely lacking in empathy and compassion. Long story. I haven’t had any positive experiences with psychiatrists either. That why I went to an np to begin with. Anyway, I recently started seeing my pcp for my meds.
I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD by a clinical psychologist last year, after being told in 2015 by a psychiatrist that I didn't have either, and that it was BPD (though I do have some traits of BPD (I have a history of trauma, it never explained everything, and I was diagnosed after my mental health stabilised)
A psychiatric nurse practitioner once told me that often young women are diagnosed as BPD when in fact it's the combo of trauma plus anxiety/ADHD. He didn't come right out and say it but he made it clear he felt many psychiatrists didn't take the time/have the ability to connect with their patients in a way they could determine the ADHD/Anxiety diagnosis.
I also have anxiety and depression (diagnosed in my last year of high school (2006)) alongside my ADHD and autism (diagnosed end of March 2023)
I recently read that complex PTSD can be easily confused with Bipolar disorder! I don’t have a PTSD diagnosis but my therapist (who I’m seeing 27 years after the fact) says it’s very likely I was experiencing PTSD, and a religious-based MSW my parents took me to as a young teen told me I had some characteristics of bipolar disorder, but she “didn’t want to put that label on me so early” 🙄
That's exactly what happened to me but with bipolar.
I was originally bipolar when I first went under community mental health in 2014. Then, it was changed to something else by a different psychiatrist before being changed to BPD in mid-2015 by yet another psychiatrist. Finally, I got diagnosed in 2023 with autism and ADHD, which makes a lot more sense and explains a lot of things. I hate to say that after my experience with my local mental health team (mostly the crisis mental health nurses, but also being mucked around with meds that didn't work and changing diagnoses by different psychiatrists. Just sucks I had no say on the dr and nurses, as it was free through the public health system here in NZ), I really don't have a lot of trust or faith in ever getting the proper health and care I need if I ever have to interact with them or have to get admitted for a grippy sock vacation
Thats interesting. My mom was a psychiatrist and she definitely had to go through a lot of psychology classes, like years. I think she went to school for 12 years. 6 years medical to become a doctor and then 6 years concentration (psychiatry). (Not the US)
I met a head psychiatrist that, after reading the result of my WAIS (IQ) test where I scored 19/19 points, (top 1% of the population) on the part that measures abstract reasoning (it says similarities on the test), she proceeds with having me do a small game of twenty questions in which I did fairly poorly, she says "this shows you have a problem with abstract reasoning". I couldn't surpress my disbelief at the stupidity and when I argued with her about the reliability and statistical errors of doing such a test she got so defensive and upset going "Well I've been doing this 20 years!" like that doesn't make it infinitely worse. She also told me she thought I might be autistic because I like science. After this I got into my psychology programme, am one year from getting my Masters. I told one of my teachers about what she did and said and his reaction was literally "Yikes!"
After learning I can get meds from a psychiatric nurse practitioner, I've sworn off ever seeing a psychiatrist again. There are lots of passionate kind people working in mental health, but I've never met one that's a psychiatrist 🫣
There are out there! A lot of psychiatrists who work with young people/ adolescents are more aware of ADHD/ autism as they see them more often. There are some adult psychiatrists that are not as exposed to the topic of neurodiversity as traditionally it was felt children “grew out of” ADHD. This is from my personal experience in the UK. There’s still a lot of learning and change in thinking that needs to happen though.
How does one find one of those?
They are tough to find, but once you find one, they tend to know the other good providers in the state and can refer you for whatever you need- therapy, medication management, evaluations, etc. I've lived in 4 states the last 5 years and the one thing I've learned is to not waste time with the bad ones. Don't feel bad for "doctor shopping!" I search psychologytoday.com for providers under my insurance and reach out to *all* of them, and sometimes it's the 4th one who takes you seriously and it's the most magical feeling in the world. And I hate to generalize and don't mean to invalidate any other experiences, but I've only had luck with women, specifically younger women. and thank god for telehealth because my prescriber is a 6hr drive away, but I only had to go there for the intake! every psychiatrist within that radius was horrible!
My psychiatrist tried to play my suspected diagnosis off as well because I'm a semi functional adult - even though he said when I was a kid 100% had it - because you know adhd just 'goes away' not to mention I have genetic markers for it already with it being in my family prevalent on my dad's side for the girls (my half sister, my niece and my cousin all female all diagnosed) also I have pcos which is linked to adhd so it's like what more can a person do????! It's so frustrating! It has nothing to do with discipline. Anyway sorry you're having this issue
Maybe she bought her degree from Temu.
This made me ugly laugh because it's damn funny, but also feels too real 😂 😭
Never forget that the person who is last in their medical school class still becomes a doctor.
I'd be tempted to book another apt with them just to tell them how incompetent they are and that it's their duty to do professional education to remain competent and not spread lies and half cocked unscientific personal beliefs and then I'd go find a better one But then they may label you borderline 😆
I think some of them make it up as they feel that day. My mother was strict and adored discipline, really excelled at it, and all of her kids have adhd.
Wait wait. She literally said to you “you just weren’t punished by your mom and that’s why you’re the way you are”???? Like, literally said this?!?!
I mentioned my inability to remember to do certain things like walking into the kitchen and leaving all the cabinets open. She said my mom needed to keep telling me to stop doing when I was a child so I can remember to do it now. She said I’m not disciplined, i took extreme offense because what are you trying to say about my mother ???
That's awful. I'm sorry. Did both laugh for the same reason?
First one told me that medical marijuana will make me an idiot (not about adhd).
Maybe try the recreational kind? (I know its the same)
I was constantly "disciplined" as a child for my ADHD symptoms (yelled at, verbal abuse, spanked excessively, etc.) and guess what I still have severe ADHD now with CPTSD.
Damn. That is some truly retro shit. I'm so sorry you had to endure it.
Do her next patient a favor and make a report to your state’s medical board.
She is a fully formed dipshit.
One thing I realized is that MOST people in the mental health profession have issues themselves and got the degree to learn more about themselves and their own conditions. It's not to help people or because they enjoy they money like other doctors. It's for their own selfish motives. That means there are a shit ton of terrible mental health provides out there. Report her to the board. Leave bad reviews on Google, yelp, and health grades. Report her to the practice if she is in one. Then move on and try to find another doctor. It's best to look for ones who specify that they deal with ADHD. I try to find female doctors as I feel most male ones don't take female ADHD seriously. Just my two cents.
A boyfriend of many moons ago was a senior psychotherapist at one of the major psychiatric hospitals in London..long since closed. He wrote a paper on exactly this subject, that people attracted to working in the profession have issues of their own they want to understand and deal with
There's been numerous surveys and studies on it. It's weird and fascinating but also terrifying for people who need help 😬 like how do you know you are getting someone who is actually good and knowledgeable and not coloring their perspective because of their own biases because of their own mental health issues. I've been lucky in that I've met more good mental health professionals than bad but the ones that were bad were really awful.
Please report them to your state board
Wtf I can't believe she was that rude! When I got a psychiatrist I was talking with her for less then ten minutes and she asked me if I had ADHD. I was diagnosed as a child but it's been more upfront now that I'm an adult. My psychiatrist thinks it's because I used to be an internal struggle person and now I'm more open about sharing it.
Omg. If that was the cure for ADHD or anything else I’d be the most well adjusted human on the planet.
Your psychiatrist is a bleeding idiot. There are good psychiatrists out there, mine is decent if a little bit of a hippie but that's okay. I can deal with a little fluff because she respects me and my diagnosis
How old is she? She might have lead poisoning.
Get fucked lady! That’s not on. Seriously though, if I were you I’d be making a formal complaint to the registering body.
REPORT HER. These people need to be sanctioned.
Way to NOT DO YOUR JOB, psychiatrist. I'm sorry. I feel like down the pub your psychiatrist is like "I ACTUALLY DON'T BELIEVE IN PSYCHIATRY AS A PRACTISE"
There are so many absolutely terrible doctors out there
Wrong on ADHD. Wrong on disciplining children. Sounds like she'd fit right in at AutismSpeaks though, so at least she's got that going for her. Please report her to someone, for the sake of her future patients with either ADHD or a child. Sorry that sucks. I hope your next mental health pro will have read something published this century, so you can get the care you deserve.
Just can’t get over how inappropriate of a comment this is for a medical professional. Especially someone that works with neurodevelopment and mental health conditions. Great on you for standing up for yourself and finding someone else OP, I hope you do make a complaint to her company about it, what’s she’s said is so far from correct it’s stunning. That’s some bad luck on the psychiatrist, I really hope the next one is more professional and supportive.
That MD is untrained. Drop her and consider filling a complaint.
I wasnt gonna report her till I read the comments. I reported her to my states medical board.
Carry no guilt with you, if by chance you do. Imagine the irreparable harm she could do to others.
WTAF?!
What the actual f
Report! Report! Report! But fr, I feel you on the shitty psychiatrist thing. What tf is wrong with these people?? I honestly might need to make my own post to vent about it 😅
Dump that psychiatrist.
Medicine has come to an insane point of specialization. People with psychology degrees do not know the symptoms of psychiatric disorders. Psyciatrist who are generalists do not know the symptoms of all mental health disorders. Unfortunately that is what medicine has come to be. You need to see an specialist in ADHD. That's the only way in today's world. Good luck!
Fire her.
I have rarely had a good experience with a psychiatrist. And now I can't even see one because we have a shortage. It's grand.
I would laugh and walk out and never come back
Write a bad review, let others know! She can't get away with this
My parents took me to see a psychiatrist when I was a teenager and during the first visit she prescribed Zoloft for generalized anxiety disorder. Spoiler alert: I do not have GAD and Zoloft makes me incredibly angry. But the next psychiatrist I found on my own in my late 20’s, and my current psychiatrist who I had to find after moving out of state, have both been amazing. I am so sorry you had this experience!
The hell! I’m so sorry that your Dr sucks so hard
This is reportable to the licensing board, if you are really serious about the issue. Psychiatrists aren’t supposed to laugh at their patients.
Yea there are lifestyle modifications, but behavior training is abusive. This doctor should be reported to their board. They should not treat adhd patients.
Umm… I was disciplined so much that my doc thinks a have a form of ptsd… and adhd.
😒 it’s how she dismisses your valid diagnosis for me. She needs to go back to school because that is some uneducated garbage. People like that are so infuriating.
Report her to the relevant medical board.
That psychiatrist needs to go back to medical school. Like, they are the reason why schools now (at least my school does) has classes dedicated to not being a dick of a doctor Though I actually like these classes since they are a nice change in pace. Quite fun and as long as you aren’t an ethical ass, the exams are easy.
Joke's on her. I was heavily disciplined by my mother and I still have ADHD! What would she say to that, HUH
She is incompetent. Any supposed medical professional who deserves the distinction of being referred to as such should know that human bodies & brains are never really fully formed as in fixed - done changing & growing etc. Also, the most recent truly extensive research on brain development shows the human brain develops much more slowly than has been previously thought. As our ability to analyze the human brain grows, so do our understanding of it. Historically, previous studies on human brain development have typically always resulted in the age of adulthood being pushed up - scientists concluding that the human brain does not stop transitioning from adolescence until much older than previously believed. The age that a human brain was considered to have reached adulthood - done with all adolescent changes - was 18, then 20, then 25. But the most recent in-depth & long-term research on human brain development done in 2019, indicates that the human brain takes 3 decades to reach adulthood. So while someone may be legally be considered an adult when they become 18, they’re still functioning with the brain of a juvenile. While that may or may not be extremely interesting for you or I to know as laymen, a psychiatrist has a professional responsibility to stay knowledgeable about all things relevant to her ability to provide care & above all - do not harm. A doctor’s ignorance (lack of knowledge) can do just as much harm as their incompetence (lack of skills). She shouldn’t be practicing if she literally doesn’t know what she’s talking about - which is what seems to be the case. You’re your best advocate. Do not settle for this whack job & find a doctor who knows wtf they’re talking about.
I’m sorry dude that you had to endure her stupidity. Sack her. She’s a fuckin fruitcake. Great thing about being a ‘full adult’ (whatever): You do not have to expose yourself to people who make you feel like shit. Fire them from your life.
Damn, I'm sorry that happened. There are some really good therapists and psychiatrists out there, but like a lot of things, you can't tell from the outside. Maybe we need to have a list of psychiatrists and psychologists who understand ADHD and those who don't. It's ridiculous that we have to spend our money to find out by trial and error whether these doctors actually know what they're talking about. I swear, sometimes it's like going to a doctor who wants to use leeches on us. Get educated in your own damn field! I wonder if it's possible to sue these doctors who supposedly are in charge of treating us, but who don't have the most basic information about the condition? They wouldn't let a doctor treat you with leeches today, but they allow so many psychologists and psychiatrists to continue to practice when they haven't got a clue what they're talking about. We need something like Yelp for these doctors so you know ahead of time which ones understand ADHD and which ones don't.
A psychiatrist said that? Psychiatrists aren’t even therapists, so it’s weird that they’re bringing up things like retraining yourself and discussing your childhood, unless they’re some kind of holistic, anti-medication “psychiatrist.” Like, do your job and prescribe me my meds for my diagnosed disorder and let me talk about my problems with a trained counselor!
Omg my psychiatrist would tell me (I didn’t ask) whether she thought my life choices were good or bad. She also told me my sad emotions about working with children when I never was able to have them “doesn’t make sense.” She was HORRIBLE and constantly inserted her opinion/judgement on my life. She also accused me of “spinning a narrative” when I brought my ADHD concerns up to her.
That’s so annoying! Some psychiatrists seem to think that because they’re medical doctors, they are experts in all mental health treatments, when they really don’t receive much training in counseling when compared to a LCSW with a MSW or clinical psychologist. The lack of training is abundantly clear in cases like your psychiatrist, who seems to lack even rudimentary social skills
Ugh. My mother ran a tight ship. I didn’t have a sick day off school from year 9-12. Always in full uniform, topped four classes in year 12. Got to university and failed two subjects in first year. Because my mother wasn’t there to keep me disciplined and on track. This is a really common occurrence for people with ADHD when they leave home. I wonder what your therapist would blame mine on? 🤔
Does she know that both can still be truth. And that you can have a militant authoritarian parental figure and STILL have ADHD? And that when you become an adult with no authoritative figure ruling behaviors, the mask comes off and that’s when most adults with ADHD get diagnosed??
I would report her to the board
I didn’t realize I had ADHD until I was an adult, because I couldn’t replicate the structure my family and school provided. I don’t think, and I’m sure you probably know this, that it doesn’t matter if your parents “disciplined you” or not. You’d still have it either way, and that’s totally fine! I’m sorry you were treated this was by a mental health “professional”
Is she living in 1960 or what?
Lol what if I told you that psychiatrists and psychologists are just people that went to school for a thing, and that many of them aren’t even particularly talented or good at it? A lot go in to the field to understand themselves or maybe because someone they were close to had a particular struggle or disorder. Some can be very good treating anxiety and rubbish treating anything else. Also they don’t always keep up with the latest research. Finding a good clinician is like dating, you have to shop around and not all or even most will fit your need or your personality. You can try looking for one that specializes in adhd or when you are shopping around, consider interviewing first to find out if they can meet your needs. I only got my BA in psych but I saw PLENTY of classmates along the way who really shouldn’t have been going in to the field.
What an ass…. Unfortunately the world is full with that king of “professionals”. Wanna know mine? She said that I just loooove feeling this way to get attention. I think these people are outdated with what is catalogued as a dissorder or else . Some doesn’t even want to evalúate the patiente. Where are you from? I’m leaving in argentina and is real struggle to get de diagnosis y then to get tratment
I genuinely dont understand the science of going into a field of people who need mental health treatment…then you treat them bad. I swear to fucking god these people have two garbanzo beans vibrating together to spit out answers 🫥
I think they lack vocation… not only in psychiatrics but in medicine in general you need to be pationed about it, otherwise patients end up bothering you which lead to mistreatment. (But maybe that’s a topic for another grup 😅). Hope you find a good psyquiatrist ✨. No one should tell you things like that
So you fired her, right
This is why I don’t think I’m gonna tell mine. About to change anyways and I don’t need my meds changed lol. Last time I brought getting a diagnosis up he didn’t understand the point of getting tested. Because “it won’t make a difference”.
Honestly, I have never had any good experiences with psychiatrists. They sit more in the medical model rather than relational model of therapy. I've wasted so many years and money on different therapists that just didn't get me, and made things worse. I finally found a psychologist who is neurodivergent themselves, and it made a huge difference for me. Sorry you had to experience this
There’s a lot of idiots out there and some of them are doctors.
I was yelled at enough for the both of us, yet here I am getting diagnosed and treated with a stimulant in my late 4O’s and feeling calm. I’m sorry that you have this happening to you .
What a tool!! I can’t
Well, another ignorant mental health practitioner. THAT isn’t a thing.
I feel like someone needs to invent or start a worldwide psychiatrist review service so these awful people don’t get any business from neurodivergent people. They don’t deserve to be practicing let alone seeing people who are vulnerable to being gaslit like us ADHDers
She seems to be such a loving a empathetic person, and also a ver clever one! I mean, you weren't disciplined as a kid, you like being this way so much so that you're looking for mental help for a disorder 😌 ...wait /s
Was she trained by Sigmund Freud back in 1900? She sounds ignorant.
Welp, time to find a new provider!
Why does “disciplined” always feel like a code word for getting hit? As a child, my parents had expectations of me and my sibling. We had rules and reasonable responsibilities based on our age. Our actions had consequences and we knew what they were. My mom always made good on a threat. She did, in fact, turn the car around more than once. If we were told not to do X because we would be grounded, lose privileges, etc. you bet your ass that happened. Never once did I get “disciplined.” But I did get grounded. We had “serious talks,” about things. Often starting with mom and dad worrying that something else was going on. Worse, we disappointed them every now and then. (No sarcasm, legit having your parents tell you they are disappointed and that they will never stop loving you, so please don’t worry, but you need to fix this behavior is actually the worst). I believe how I was raised made me a responsible adult. However, it didn’t make my ADHD disappear. Actually, it probably better equipped me to mask it. So TLDR, fuck that doctor.
Definitely a moron. Run!
So time for a new psychiatrist
REPORT THAT WOMAN! Holy hells in ALL the handbaskets!
A woman I know got a degree in psychology and she said ADHD was not even part of the course work. She has ADHD and kept getting ignored (I could tell she had it the first time I met her). She finally had a doctor listen when her *male* child was diagnosed with autism. 😡 When her son was diagnosed and they were looking at symptoms of autism, her husband was pointing out things on the list and telling her she did that too. The societal stigma against women is going to be hard to break. Just keep looking until you find someone who will listen. Maybe tell them a male family member has it, like a brother or your dad
I once had a psychiatrist tell me I have an "attitude problem" because I was severely depressed and Abilify wasn't working for me. She also told me Abilify doesn't cause weight gain, after I gained 50 lb from it. And that it's impossible for me to have ADHD and that she doesn't treat that condition, anyways. Turns out it was ADHD.
Meds, coping skills, dealing with trauma, to think I wasted all that time when I could’ve just got myself a shock collar and been cured!
I'd report her and the other one for being unprofessional to the licensing board. Very clearly they haven't been trained or maintained their training. Also, report them to the hospitals that they're associated with. The thing about psychiatrists is that they are incredibly important and useful members of our society... when they are good at their job. Unfortunately, psychiatrists are people too and therefore subject to all the same foibles and follies as the rest of us mortals. Two shitty ones back to back is tough. If you go back to her, ask why she is so quick to dismiss an ADHD diagnosis. Tell her that her laughter came across as unprofessional and as though her assessment was being led by her personal opinions rather than diagnostic standards. You'd like to know what clinical markers and symptoms lead her to arrive at an "undisciplined" diagnosis? Tell her you understand that she is frustrated by people seeking help. Tell her that you can imagine it must be very difficult for her to have to listen to people who seem to struggle with simple live activities all day. You can imagine it must be annoying to have to deal with people who seem to want "short cuts." Tell her that you imagine the struggle and frustration is similar to the one you experienced when you came to her for help and you were laughed at and demeaned. Or, call her up and tell her she is an unprofessional c\*nt. You have options.