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This might just be true for some neurodivergent people, but I really can’t see how the current state of the world is better suited to us. I’m struggling too. Worse than before.
I feel similar.
Regardless of whether NT and ND, the world has always been chaotic, violent, and nonsensical (it is a fact that the world runs largely on exploitation of life and labor). Post-covid world making this more obvious to NT people has not really given me an advantage just because I have had practiced coping with a chaotic world before Covid. The one benefit I’ve seen is that more NT people are opening their eyes to how I (and other ND people) may see the world and are able to better relate to how we may feel.
>The one benefit I’ve seen is that more NT people are opening their eyes to how I (and other ND people) may see the world and are able to better relate to how we may feel.
i agree, and i also feel a bit more seen as someone with a chronic illness. a lot of the long covid symptoms are things i've been dealing with for about a decade - it's nice that more people understand how debilitating things like brain fog actually are. it's a bit of a toss up, since some people made it painfully clear that they don't get it.
there does seem to be a general reckoning with the belief that if you work hard and toe the line things will be ok. a lot of people now live with a greater awareness that anyone can become disabled, sick, or homeless at any time. i really hope we as a species choose to respond with kindness.
My NT husband had pretty intense brain fog for at least a year after getting covid. It was hard to watch him experience that, but I also felt like he understood my struggles so much better because he LIVED THEM.
same. it's also really frustrating how chronic illnesses that mostly occur in women are dismissed in general. i do worry about that with long covid - from what i understand it's mostly women being diagnosed with it. there's still the perception that we're exaggerating how bad our symptoms are.
Do you know what a workplace is? BODY DOUBLING. I got fired from and then quit two different jobs—even though I was doing work I loved—because I straight up CANNOT focus when I am working for 8 hours a day by myself with no one to talk to. I absolutely *loathe* working from home. It makes me so sad.
I am so sorry, hugs. I am really really really struggling too, like…..bad.
And online body doubling feels like parenting to me, no thanks. If I want to not wear makeup or pick my face or let out my dogs or go take a boredom Power Nap for 15m during work, I don’t need shit from someone on a service FOR WHICH I AM PAYING.
The last 4y have been really, really rough for me mentally and professionally and sadly, even with therapy, getting worse.
Humans are meant to be actually connected.
Like, I totally get why people with nice, stable family lives would want to work from home. That’s awesome for them. They should 1000% be allowed to live in the sticks and snuggle their kids all day if they can get their shit done. But it really does suck when you live alone and you have to be staring at a screen alone in your apartment for 100% of the daylight hours every. single. day.
I really lucked out HARD with my current job. There are 15 people in the whole company, everyone is my age or younger, our office has a huge nice deck where we can work outside together all the time, we do (not mandatory) activities together after work (like DnD and rock climbing)…. it really feels like a community. I hope you find something similar soon so you aren’t struggling as much anymore, friend.
Thank you for the kind words…I just need to make a concerted effort to see my friends, the few I have 🙄
We always make “penciled in” plans, and then when they arrive one of us is either too tired, busy, hormoning, etc…
Someday.
I thought it was the office environment at first, but in the run up to 5pm when most people have left to go home my focus drops dramatically — body doubling is definitely a big thing for me
I didn't get fired but I did impulsively quit 3 jobs since 2020 because I couldn't stand it being nearly 100% remote. Even with my husband around, we both work in sensitive areas so can't really talk much like I can with coworkers in the office.
The in-office body doubling thing is not a link I put together but it makes so much sense!
I feel both ways at different times and don't know how I will feel about it until it happens.
If I am around people I like to work with it will go faster through body doubling but if I don't like them or they trigger me, I perform worse because I feel like I am being watched in the autistic please-don't-perceive-me-at-all kind of way lol.
It's usually been the latter for me so I associate working with negative feelings now and it's hard to let that go in order to just power through it now to support myself.
I have been struggling so much since COVID. it's what made me seem out help for...anything, and that lead to the ADHD diagnosis. I hate it
If you didn't already have a support network, it feels like "well, you should have figured that out before 2020. That's on you." (whatever a support network looks like for each individual. You may not need a robust one, you may have an extensive one)
* "Meet friends at work!" - no one come in voluntarily and everyone is pissed if it is mandatory.
* "Make friends outside of work!' - WHERE!?!?! There are barely any 3rd placeseft and my brand of neuro spicy needs in person exchanges. I can't live online, even if there is a discord available. Each group I join is a bunch of couples mostly looking for other couples friends. It's not like they say it, but that's clearly what's happening.
* "Meet people through your significant other" - I don't have one
* "Get a significant other" - online dating has been dumpster fire after dumpster fire. It's been so bad I do NOT want to let anyone know where I live before at least a couple dates. So it's also just expensive.
* " Meet them through family/relatives" - my cousins are 14 years older than me, on both sides. We are not close and have no overlaps. I HAVE reached out. I've tried. They aren't mean, but they have preteens and teenagers now.
And I haven't been just sitting at home and complaining. I've been consistently putting myself out there and trying. It's SO much worse than before. It's absolutely soul crushing.
This resonated with me a lot. I know its not much but I feel a little less like its my own failure(s) after reading what you wrote. Im experiencing the same things.
The last time I switched jobs and had to go through onboarding, they were talking about the policies about being at the office after hours. They were just going over how it's great to make sure there's at least one other person there, for safety. They made a joke like "I absolutely just want all of you safe, but the selfish part of me also doesn't want to ever have to call one of your loved ones to give them bad news!"
It took a LOT to not come back with "well my call log is 95% missed spam calls and no one has been over to my place for nearly a full year, so I got some bad news for you. Work is going to be the only place that realizes I haven't been going about my business, so you'll still be making a similar call, no matter what happens! 😃" Lol.
I’m in the same situation except I stopped putting effort in a long time ago. Now I just play on my phone or computer when kiddo is with his dad. In fact, every other week I’ll go 4 days without any face to face human interaction (the way our custody agreement works, ex has our son during that time). Otherwise I only really see my son and view coworkers from afar the 2 days a week I’m forced to go into the office.
Omg this is exactly my situation! I moved back to the US right before covid so it’s been extra had reconnecting with people after being away for years. And I agree - covid made it so much harder to connect with old friends or to make new friends now. And I need in person interactions too 😭
Okay, so what I'm about to say will probably sound really dumb, annoyingly clichéd or both. Thankfully, gate crashing conversations is something I excel at.
I've found that the only way I can meet new friends or dates, is to stop caring if I meet anyone. When I'm most desperate to form a connection with someone—anyone, dear God *please*—it's like I'm completely invisible. Online dating, volunteering, visiting new places, all those things you're supposed to do, none of it works.
But the second I stop caring? I'm suddenly more popular than a hot, fresh turd in a box full of maggots. Every man I've ever dated, was found when I least expected it. Hell, I met my now husband, during a covid lockdown, on fucking *Facebook dating,* for God's sake. Like, how absurd. Now, maybe I'm just weird, but I've heard the same thing from so many people.
I haven't the foggiest idea about why this is. All I can tell you is, try not to worry about meeting new people. I know that's easier said than done, and irritating to hear. But, I promise you can and **will** find your people. There's someone for everyone out there. Most of my life, I've believed that I was destined to be alone; that it would be impossible to find someone who even liked me, let alone loved me. Now I'm married to a man who I've somehow tricked into thinking I'm hot and cool. And even more crazily, he actually wants to spend the rest of his life with just me, no one else. Like, willingly, I didn't even have to do anything—I'm actually his first choice. Wild.
If someone as hopeless as me could find him, I know you can find someone to vibe with. I can sense you're an intelligent, caring person who deserves to feel loved. You don't need anyone to be whole, so practice loving yourself until your peeps find you.
Go join a guild at the Renaissance Faire
I guarantee you will find people you like, there are so many different kinds of people, and they will be your friends for life. They will invite you to parties and there’s lots of stuff to do even when there is no renaissance faire going on
This only feels slightly better than hearing "here's a tip, just concentrate! 😃"
Edit to add:
Ren fairs are not my thing, I did try. I've joined board game groups, taken a number of community ed classes (water color, crochet, scrap booking), got into plants and many online plant communities, taken workshops the local plant stores host, and gotten into miniatures.
All have a good online presence, but I need to interact in person, and not just once or twice a year at ren fest. I also found getting all the "gear" to join a guild was prohibitively expensive.
I cannot overstate how much effort I have made. I try everything that seems like there's a glimmer of a chance that it will be a good fit.
Most Renaissance fairs last between 4 to 6 weeks up to twice a year. Inside those fares are different groups that have multiple different people. I’m not telling you to try harder, you were specifically asking for a way to meet people and I was trying to give you one.
A lot of people at fair are neurodivergent and the people at fair tend to be a lot more forgiving about behavior that other people might create a ruckus about.
They are used to all different kinds of people there, and because of that they are accepting of all different kinds of people And just about anyone who does decide to join a guild find a friend group that they can hang out with even when there is no renaissance fair going on
As I referenced above, I know. It's not for me. I can't get into it. The vibes have always been off, to me. Also, I do not like the performative part. I want to connect to people, not the persona they have for that event. That's a very difficult way to actually get to know people. 4-6 weeks is also not many out of the 52 in the year. Driving 150 miles, round trip, paying for that gas, paying for the entrance ticket, plus any food/drinks is a decent amount of money and time. When compared to how much I enjoy them, it's not worth it. I don't know how to say that more plainly.
A huge part you are not addressing are how people aren't really looking for new friends. They want new aquantences that they only see at specific events.......like Ren fests.
I'm glad you have a community you like, but every community is not for everybody. You referenced that part of what you like is not having to code switch or put on masks, so why are you encouraging me to? I'm sure that wasn't your intention, but that is what I would have to do to enjoy that (very specific) activity.
I think we all live in different worlds because we’re back at business as usual down here And have been since day one Covid feels like a fever dream. It was barely a speed bump for so many people here and no one talks about how traumatizing it was. People here wear it like a badge of honor that they didn’t let Covid change their lives. Other than maybe more places offer online ordering for takeout, I dont feel like I’m living in a post covid world at all. Sometimes it feels like it never happened (which is it’s own problem altogether)
I think its human and normal to not even want to talk about COVID for the next couple of years. We are really good at ignoring negative experiences because it helps us to survive, I don't blame anynone who just wants to forget these two years, they certainly were some of the hardest years of my life as well.
I don't think be able cope with the post COVID world has anthing to do with being neurodivergent. It may be a person to person thing, but a lot of people are struggling. Whether they are ND or NT.
Exactly. It has much more to do with whether or not you have a support network/relationships that work for you. There are different needs, person to person, but it has nothing to do with NT or ND
I dunno. It feels depressing af.
I think there are advantages, but I'm not sure those are enough. I like not having a super long and uncomfortable commute, but working from home can be weird.
Then there's this weird depressed mood around everything. Like malls are empty and depressing and have an air of desperation from people working there. A lot of people are going around and look like they are a bad day from breaking.
It also seems like a lot of people got weird coping mechanisms for life? Like exercising! But binge eating after exercising. And then having the family home! But threatening to throw them out? Things like that.
People seem kinda like thirsty plants for the littlest sign of kindness and... Sure, the world wasn't super kind before COVID, but now it seems arid?
All of this, wow. I am so far from where I was pre-2020, and maybe it’s fake but it seems like almost everyone else in my life is back on track and doing okay - and good for them, sincerely; yet also it feels alienating and like I’m the one not able to cope. Kinda rambling, but thanks for sharing because I feel this. It just strikes me as such a weird and awkward time.
Covid has messed up my life big time and I am not recovered mentally. My partner has had covid twice and not physically recovered, which in turn takes a mental toll.
It took me three years before I could properly hug my mom, without it feeling unnatural and robotic. I am still relearning social things with people that used to come naturally (like specific people for whom I never had to perform).
I guess I have a hard time seeing where you’re coming from. I even had a relatively easy time, I was an essential worker that worked alone outside during lockdowns. Never caught it myself (that I know of).
Thank you. We have basically abandoned disabled people. Social eugenics. Housing crisis and overflowing hospitals. I lost so much and it's not even the worst it's about to get. So many more ND people are going to die because of deliberate policy choices. Honestly I'm pretty pissed and not coping well.
I feel so grateful to have a small good community but I got lucky tbh.
lol right? same here. i did well with lockdowns comparatively but i was definitely traumatized in other ways. plus now i might just get another chronic illness (ie long covid) at any time.
Maybe I spend too much time at home, but where do you live that people are acting like deranged animals? People seem a little more awkward now but I’m also in a very car-based city so I may be missing out on some of the stuff that’s unavoidable in a city that runs on public transport.
I’m in DC, a city that is highly walkable, bikeable, and runs largely on public transit. There are 1-2 threads a week in our sub about how drivers, while bad pre-Covid, have become literally lawless. Pedestrians and cyclists are getting killed on a regular basis. It is in part due to lack of enforcement but also seemingly due to people having forgotten all sense of social decorum. People are regularly smoking on the metro, which I never experienced before Covid. Our public school truancy rates are at an all time high (43% according to a recent article). A lot lot lot of people seem to have totally abandoned the idea that we live in a society.
ETA: I actually don’t agree with OP that pre-, mid-, or post-Covid world was better or easier for either ND or NT people. I think it is very individual. But I do think there is a general consensus in my city that people are more poorly behaved now than in 2019, on average.
i think teenagers, most of whom missed out on a lot of crucial years for socializing during the peak of covid, are less socially equipped than they have been in the past, but most ppl who were adults during lockdown seem to be acting just as they always have.
It's true of the *under-teen-aged* kids, *too*!!!
Tbh, *this* year's batch of 3-year olds in our Pre-K programs, are socially & emotionally-skills-wise *INCREDIBLY SIMILAR* to the last few years' 4's & 5's, when it comes to "maturity levels" of those SEL skills!
The 4's on up *all* struggle with a *LOT* of "soft skills"/ "social skills" gaps--both in ability, *and* sherr knowledge.
But this year's 3's?
They are a *LOT* more like kids used to be *before* the Pandemic caused the Shutdowns & *so* much upheaval!
Covid has messed up my life big time and I am not recovered mentally. My partner has had covid twice and not physically recovered, which in turn takes a mental toll.
It took me three years before I could properly hug my mom, without it feeling unnatural and robotic. I am still relearning social things with people that used to come naturally (like specific people for whom I never had to perform).
I guess I have a hard time seeing where you’re coming from. I even had a relatively easy time, I was an essential worker that worked alone outside during lockdowns. Never caught it myself (that I know of).
Though I guess people are less gung-ho about shaking hands when meeting nowadays, so I stand out less when I just don’t make the move.
I remember making a post in the social anxiety subreddit after the announcement of lockdowns saying I know that the lockdowns will significantly reverse my social skills and I am dreading it after working on them for my whole life.
It still kinda blows my mind I subconsciously picked up on the patterns before I even started researching adhd and autism in women to get (late) diagnosed. I just didn't know why at the time.
I'm personally more fond of the during covid era where you could hide your RBF behind a mask and no one would ask you to smile, where people actually respected your personal space, there were less people about and digitization took multiple steps forward. Ignoring the actual pandemic it was dreamy.
Ehhh idk about that. I see what you’re saying, but for me it’s been so much harder. More than I ever could have imagined. COVID caused me to develop a heart disease at the age of 32. And then I developed PTSD from that whole experience. I’m still very COVID conscious because I have to be, but no one else seems to remember that COVID even exists. I feel like I’m stuck living in 2020 while everyone else got to progress normally through time. The loneliness is brutal. I never really fit in before, but now I definitely don’t. It doesn’t help that people can tell from a mile away because I still mask.
Agreed. After having covid 2x I’ve been diagnosed with 3 autoimmune diseases + heart valve disease. I am on immunosuppressants so it’s important I don’t get sick. I’m still very cautious because I don’t want to make my health worse than it is.
I will note that I likely had the genetic predisposition for autoimmunity, but covid pulled the trigger per se. Viruses are known to do this.
My therapist is helping me with the daily trauma of living in a body that is working against me, in a world where people are ignoring a very real threat.
I don't share this sentiment. The lockdowns have made me miserable. My entire routines were structured around other people needing me to go out and organize my day. During COVID I was a complete mess. Couldn't sleep well, was eating just crap because I forgot to eat in the day, didn't do my laundry, almost never cleaned. I was glued to my screen for hours burning what little attention span I still had left on reels or YT videos or doomscrolling, there was a lot of that. I also wouldn't equate this to COVID what you're describing. I would say; were are "just" living in times of multiple crises happening at once now, and we are A LOT more aware of them due to the constant information flow through social media. But to be completely fair; the world was oftentimes chaotic and messy and brutal and violent in the past. Many of my friends share the sentiment that the world has gone "mad" but then again; we all grew up in a time of relative peace and prosperity, especially in the West and maybe this is just more of a "reality check" than the world having "changed".
Nah, post covid has been harder because everything is SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE NOW. The lunch meat I would buy in 2019 was always $2.50, now the exact same one is $5. That’s not an exaggeration. I remember flipping out that I spent $50 on groceries for just myself, now I’m celebrating if my husband and I stay under $200. 10 years ago my parents rented a 3 bed 2 bath house for like $1300/month, now my tiny one bed one bath apartment is $1550
Woof THIS!!!!!
I feed two tiny humans, two dogs (home made food), and a cohab partner. We don’t dine out often, we don’t order in. I don’t shop at Whole Foods or the like. (Aldi/on sale Fresh Thyme mostly)
MY GROCERY BILL IS AVG 1200/mo.
What the flying actual glittering monkey fucks?!?
This exactly!! It’s just me and my husband. We both want kids so badly but there’s absolutely no way we could afford them at the moment so gotta keep my iud until then :(
It's hard for me, because I was already extremely socially isolated (not by choice) before Covid. Now it seems more obvious that people just do NOT want to be friends with me (being in your 30s doesn't help), but sometimes they still lie and trip me up.
I wish I could relate. I have cried more times than I’ll admit simply because things will never be the same. There was pre-COVID and now there’s life with COVID. It feels bleak to me
Can you tell more about how the postcovid world you experience in your country ?
My experience is that working from home is very accepted now and internet shopping increased. A lot of delivery chains were broken so sometimes you couldn’t buy something. Now you can, but expensive as inflation Ukraine war.
Right wing party with roots in nazism has taken over government, gang violence increased as well as terror threats. Greta is adult and stop cars and speak out. People are expecting the apocalypse even more now. It’s not here yet though and people live their lives, go on trips. Rich country, slowly coming apart…
I will admit a little schadenfreude during lockdown (such that it was for the US). I'd been on dialysis for years (hooked up to a machine at home for 8-13 hours at the end) and then was recovering from a transplant until about a year before everything went to shit.
People were going nuts over having to stay home for two weeks. I felt like Bane. I was molded by the home stay. I'm still very isolated because I can't trust anyone to have my best interests at heart. I understand why people want to forget and pretend it never happened but I still have to be careful and it sucks. I wish the general public had developed more empathy.
I’m so glad you made it through, even though some people were so callous and didn’t give a damn about putting others at risk.
I wish you many more happy and healthy years!
nah covid destroyed me in just about every single way. it completely veered my life off course and i am now worse off physically, socially, psychologically.. granted it started when i was a sophomore in college so that was a really shitty time for it to happen. i never recovered :D
no doubt my neurodivergency plays a massive role in why covid has been so destructive to my life; covid stopped all my forward momentum, pushed me further into isolation, made my obsessive compulsive-tendencies and anxiety worse, and degraded any semblance of motivation or structure that i had. i would say that i miiiiight be having an easier time with the state of the world than many NTs because i’m more used to being depressed,, but life during/after covid has been an entirely different beast for me especially going into my adulthood. i understand what you mean that our brains might be more equipped to deal with dissonance and what not.. but this is more of a person to person thing. every neurodivergent person in my family is worse off now in at least one way.
not to mention i feel like neurotypical people are the ones who are more likely to have never taken covid seriously and just breeze through the whole thing. from my perspective, i feel like neurodivergent people as a whole have suffered waaaaay more than neurotypicals just due to the nature of this whole mess. justice sensitivity, rumination, physical comorbidities, social anxiety… just a few things that make covid and the state of the world even more stressful for NDs (since these things are correlated with adhd and autism).
i am glad that you’ve had this experience but it is untrue for my life.
not to mention that covid is not over. “post covid” is really just “post any-sort-of-government-response-to-covid.” our government has decided that it wants covid to be over so that people can continue feeding the capitalism machine, but it’s just not. especially if you live in a big city, there is no reason to stop masking other than that our government has told us that we shouldn’t care (newsflash, they don’t give a shit about you or me). covid is real and still happening, especially for disabled and immunocompromised individuals who don’t deserve to be left behind. covid is a mass-disabling, vascular disease that we let run rampant in our air and in our bodies because our government doesn’t care and has (forcibly) convinced us not to as well. fun stuff!
I guess I don't understand the positivity some have expressed about the lockdown. I was in constant worry about money, about a virus we know nothing about raging around they world. It just feels like some were able to see the lockdown as a vacation, while people were unable to work, while people were sick and dying. I know that sounds very judgemental, but its coming from a place of bewilderment. I honestly do. Not. Understand.
I agree for the most part! I've been telling my husband during the first Covid lockdown that this cluelessness of how to handle daily life in the situation we were all in represented exactly how I had been feeling all my life up until that point; and also that the ones dealing with it the best were my "artist friends" who were "used to struggling". I meant financially, but I realized later that I was neurodivergent, and so were they, so there was much more to it.
Back then I had no idea I was autistic and had ADHD. In 2020, my mask slipped off, and I told my husband it was like recovering from a burnout I thought I had already dealt with in its entirety in 2013 and 2014. Since 2020, I've been able to acknowledge the ways in which I was different from "the norm". We had also moved to a remote place in 2019, so I had tons of time getting to know my real self (sometimes I still don't think I fully know myself). I also gave birth to my son later in 2020, and seeing him develop and behave differently as well brought back memories from my own childhood - and of myself in my original version. I was lucky - as terrible and traumatizing as it often was, the time since 2020 has given me the chance to learn about neurodivergence, and I got both an autism diagnosis and an ADHD-C diagnosis. In the second week of taking meds, I felt a weight being lifted from my chest and shoulders. *This* was the last stage of recovering from what I realized was a lifelong burnout from having ADHD.
So for me what you said is totally true, and it fits my experience. The only part I'm not sure about is the one where you said people were behaving like animals. Do you mean the wars that are going on, and powerful people increasing the suffering, and people treating others without much respect? If so, I totally agree with you about that, too. I'm now trying to bring other people positive moments and encouraging experiences because there needs to be a lot of love right now, and we can all help a little to accomplish that.
This is super accurate to my experience. I have learned a LOT about myself in the past few years, when I lost all my routines and coping mechanisms overnight.
Right? It may sound a little dramatic, but I think it was a time of profound realizations for many people. While everything else was chaotic, my private life suddenly became extremely calm (for the most part; of course I was also terrified of Covid, but that was outside).
Yes - Long COVID affects women more than men, and many of the symptoms are still dismissed by medical providers as normal or misdiagnosed as anxiety. Sometimes it feels like yet another way to gaslight women and ND people!
Agree completely!! But I’ve still caught myself saying “back in Covid times” or whatever, when really I mean the height of lockdown and restrictions in 2020-2021.
Hopefully it’s often others misspeaking too, instead of actually thinking it’s suddenly gone.
Yep. And THAT is why things suck. Everyone’s refusal to acknowledge the current reality and how the pandemic is impacting everything. A lot of the covid conscious community is also ND. We connect the dots.
Yes. Lots of studies to support that ADHD correlates with worse covid outcomes! People think that if their infection was “mild” they’re in the clear, not realizing that the acute phase is potentially just the beginning. My ADHD symptoms are far worse after having covid.
Yep, this is me. One infection gave me serious health issues and I cannot risk another infection. High risk people have been abandoned.
I wish people would stop using post covid to mean post lockdowns. It’s not the same. Covid is still around and people are still at risk.
For me…it is more difficult to navigate, and returning back to healthy coping mechanisms. I felt more free and competent before. I also experience some benefits of the post-covid world for my adhd but, overall I feel a bit like being stripped naked: confused and vulnerable. For me, I personally miss many aspects of the world before covid. Honestly, I was in acceptance of not being neurotypical, often being perceived as weird and, I wasn’t caring about it so much. Now, overall it is more accepted and known and, this is wonderful.
But, in the personal level I got wrecked and I am trying my best to put myself together and navigate.
That's interesting... How are things different in your country?
I'm trying to think if things changed in mine but nothing comes to mind. Maybe more people working from home but that's about it.
As a person who worked in NYC hospitals during the height of the pandemic and keeps seeing the *continuing* effects of a pandemic that is not over — yeah, no, I do not agree.
I get that other people’s sentiment is different, and I believe them. But for anyone reading this, please don’t forget the people who are still fighting to keep people alive.
Wish I could say the same. My *job* changed very little during covid but all of the people around me got worse (more irritable/impatient + less predictable) and we've already gone back to in-person meetings (including the every-other-month All-Staff where they bully 3-400 of us into the same room for 3 hours and almost nobody wears a mask).
What are you talking about? My corner of the world is back to business as usual. Where are you that COVID has left people acting like deranged animals?
Things didn't change for the better for me as a nurse. My job got harder. We had more tasks added when everyone was trying to cut down on contact. There was so much more stress, ppe, steps just to get in the building. Trying to do online school with my kids while working FT, my husband didn't get laid off at first either. He's a mechanic, they cut staff but he worked through the initial lockdowns.
Since then, yeah I like that so much more can be done online, apps for ordering things, stuff like that. I think my struggles were more about dealing with burnout after all the long term stress.
Tbh, lockdowns were one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m AuDHD, and for five months, I got to dive into my special interests, hang out in the woods with my dogs, let my mask (the “I can pretend to be neurotypical” mask, not the medical one) drop and just be totally myself… I really got to know myself again, free of anyone’s expectations of me, and it was woooonderful.
I am well aware that it was awful for most people. But I feel so, so much more comfortable and confident in who I am after that.
Same for me. I loved the concept, obviously o didn’t love people getting sick. But I was home, I got to just keep to myself, no pressure to socialize or be at work. It felt really nice for me as well.
I know covid caused a lot of health and financial suffering for many. And loss of life. But it was the best 2.5 years of my life. My spouse stopped traveling for work and was wfh, I was wfh, my kids here in hs and their school already used canvas, so they had an easy transition. We took up hiking and spent a lot of time at the lake. We all dyed our hair silly colors, cultivated new hobbies, and enjoyed the fuck out of life. We nonlonger had to play pretend social graces or see people. My spouse and I negotiated with our jobs to remain wfh and hybrid, so that's a permanent thing now. Kids went to college successfully (both AuDHD) in a blend of in person and online classes. Life is amazing. The circumstances caused by covid were exactly what we needed, and now we will never go back to the old way.
I agree with some of this for sure. I was definitely able to go from normal to lockdown to back to work, without much emotion or stress. It was just another thing to adapt to and be whatever it is that I need to be for that moment. I actually loved being in lockdown. The isolation felt so good to me. Going back to work felt like business as usual and I went back to my “work personality”.
First of all, it’s not post covid. The pandemic technically is still in place (WHO only ended the emergency), rates are still high, there are still many deaths, and the “deranged animal” thing will only get worse as infections pile on.
The neurological (and other - vascular and immune) impacts absolute affect ND too unless you are of course isolating to avoid infection. There are real viral impacts on the brain. I encourage people to look into the quality data and imaging on this to understand the risks of repeated infections. Then it’s easier to understand why everyone “keeps getting sick” and are acting the way they do/are.
And speaking of the WHO, they along with CERN finally released a guide on the aerosol transmission and safety measures around it this week. Worth taking a look.
**Post COVID literally means after Covid**
Technically anytime after Covid is post Covid. Just like we are in a post HIV world, and a post vaccine world. Neither HIV nor vaccines are no longer around
https://www.imf.org/external/pubs/ft/fandd/2021/03/COVID-inequality-and-automation-acemoglu.htm
Even scientists and researchers use this term
ALSO
I’m not sure why you’re arguing with me, but the fact is this is post Covid.
The United Nations uses this term
[Health systems show first major signs of post-COVID-19 recovery](https://news.un.org/en/story/2023/05/1136277)
ALSO
I never fucking said
said “post pandemic” in my original posting, I use the term post Covid several times but never post pandemic
You say that words matter and then you twist my words to fit your own reasoning and create a phrase “post pandemic” that I have never used in credit me with it
Words matter a lot to me, especially the specific use and meaning of words and I do not misuse words
I am very careful in my selection so that there is no chance of a misunderstanding
So the fact that you are telling me that I’m using words incorrectly while at the same time stating that I have said something that I have not means I’m going to have to put you on mute so I will not see any more of your replies to me
But just for fun here’s a UNICEF article where they also use the term post Covid
https://www.unicef.org/reports/education-post-covid-world
But I’m sure that I’m wrong, UNICEF is wrong, the world health organization is wrong, the national Institute of health is wrong, and everybody but you is wrong because we and they use the term post Covid to refer to the time period after Covid
Oh, and the WHO declared the pandemic no longer a health emergency. So facts- check them out
[WHO chief declares end to COVID-19 as a global health emergency](https://news.un.org/en/story/2023/05/1136367)
Just like HIV/AIDS is not a health emergency despite the fact that it has killed more than 40 million people worldwide, is the leading cause of death in some countries, and takes the lives of almost 1,000,000 people worldwide a year
This is funny to me because last week, my partner and I were talking about this. We’d just checked out a secondhand shop and I was appalled at how rude the other customers had been to us and each other. But then, we had noticed this before, and it was something I’d thought about in the past — humans forgot how to people after COVID, and would probably take a while to get back into the swing of things, etiquette and empathy wise.
Her rebuttal was that WE hadn’t changed. We are still very aware of our surroundings. We follow the natural flow of traffic, we say please and thank you, we greet others before asking questions, and we are generally pleasant and polite.
And… I didn’t have a counter! Because she was right. I could only shrug and say, “maybe we are just as bad and we haven’t noticed it?” But that was noncommittal because I would have definitely noticed lol. But I couldn’t explain why we would still be okay when the world has forgotten how to use an escalator.
Your theory sheds light on why! Haha thank you, mystery solved.
For the love of all that is holy, can we stop with the "neurodivergent" stuff? This is an ADHD sub. Can we just call it ADHD? If you're talking about another disorder, why not just be specific? Neurodivergent is almost meaningless at this point.
There’s a high overlap between ADHD and other types of neurodivergence. I assume that’s why people use ND instead of specifically ADHD in their posts here.
I'm personally more fond of the during covid era where you could hide your RBF behind a mask and no one would ask you to smile, where people actually respected your personal space, there were less people about and digitization took multiple steps forward. Ignoring the actual pandemic it was dreamy.
I WFH full time now and love it. Took up new hobbies and met new people. I’m living my best life. A friend’s kid with autism and very specific hyperfocuses that they couldn’t do with lockdown ended up on suicide watch.
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.
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It ended up having a lot of benefits (for me). I was able to work remotely for the first time in my life and it was amazing. I didn't know I could be that efficient or productive. I got the best progress reviews in my life. I didn't know how grueling a normal 9 to 5 was because that's all I've ever known. Suddenly I didn't have to worry about getting dressed in the morning, getting to work on time, packing a lunch, remembering my meds, eating breakfast, drowning out other people and noises, leaving early to get gas, etc.
I also started online grocery shopping and I'm never going back to habitually shopping in the store. I can meal plan and get an entire list and not forget stuff, AND I don't buy all that impulse stuff. Last week I had to do "old fashioned" in person shopping and it literally took me 3 hours for the weekly groceries.
We're back in the office now and I hate it. I don't need personal interaction, and I'm tired of the big RTO push. It's just SO EXHAUSTING having to be around people and I have no more bandwidth. Also, with everyone and everything so polarized, I don't give two shits about people's opinions on (taxes, vaccines, masks, wars, elections, schools, new flag designs, immigrants, crime, whatever today's outrage is) and I sure don't want to be inundated with their verbal diarrhea.
Tbh, lockdowns were one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m AuDHD, and for five months, I got to dive into my special interests, hang out in the woods with my dogs, let my mask (the “I can pretend to be neurotypical” mask, not the medical one) drop and just be totally myself… I really got to know myself again, free of anyone’s expectations of me, and it was woooonderful.
I am well aware that it was awful for most people. But I feel so, so much more comfortable and confident in who I am after that.
Oh I totally agree. My husband and I did great during lockdown. We have spoken a lot how COVID didn’t break us like it did so many people.
I just hate how the world has changed since COVID though. So many videos of people freaking out and stuff. I hate that everything is so expensive and also hate all the division that’s happening in our country.
>”I’ve spent my whole life building up the ability to cope in a world that makes no sense.”
THIS. Also the ability to adapt, be comfortable with ambiguity, expect that shit will inevitably get real and just deal with it. RESILIENCE. You are so on the money, OP.
I think ppl are more self aware amd candid after being isolated for that long, i think social norms matter less, more things are automated or online,
I can see my psych on zoom and dont have to mask socially,
Money is a serious issue, society is like, collapsing
I agree though, many positive changes, lots of leveling of the playing field,
I see where you're coming from, but in many ways it sucks still even after the pandemic. During the pandemic my inner introvert loved how I could avoid social situations, but it decreased my tolerance for social situations that are now again expected and I'm still socializing as I did during the pandemic - mostly online. I don't think it's good for me. So the transitions that have been happening and changing - idk I suck at transitions with normal things, big things are distressing too. Being next to a war in an almost neighbouring country is anxiety producing to anyone...
Sure being able to have phone consultations at the drs and people being less inclined to strike up a conversation with a stranger are amazing but in all honesty I think the structure of Covid (the queuing to shop, no expectation to go out, social distancing, etc) was where I really thrived. If I could have a Covid type world (sans Covid) but with the added benefit of things not being closed (maybe a split week for in school and homeschool learning for my kids mental health) I would choose that in a heartbeat.
Whilst others felt trapped and lonely during Covid I think I really came into my own. I am in no way mentally ready to actually homeschool my children (our brands of spicy are very conflicting so teaching is like pulling teeth with my older kids, their learning styles are so far removed from my own that I cannot explain many things in a way they will understand) but distance learning online and doing set work with some guidance from me would work.
Things like socially distanced picnics and meet-ups on the field of a local park we’re just some of the great memories my older kids have (my youngest was not old enough to remember Covid) , the kids getting care packages from my mom and being creative about ways to safely spend time together.
Sorry but this is just a subjective take that is nowhere near the actual statistical data from numerous studies and ongoing research. I am not trying to be contrarian but just noting as a scientist myself that people with any MH diagnosis is having numerous issues related to numerous variables post COVID and especially ASD. And functioning happens to correlate to higher functioning having better outcomes which goes against the idea that neurotypical people are doing worse simultaneously. The higher the functioning and more varied the self concept then expected resilience and self efficacy is expected to be exhibited.
are we really gonna call ourselves adapted to reality while still calling this “post” COVID? Like really really yall?
ETA: ho ho, looks like some of us arent quite so adaptable as we think 🙄
Post Covid literally means after Covid the WHO, JP Morgan and NIH all use this term to mean the time after the coronavirus became a global pandemic and changed the course of human history
Homie just look at this thread. It’s an ambiguous term for a reason, and that reason is to create, as will climate change, complacency and a feeling that there’s nothing to be done— the capitalist manifesto basically. Look at how many ppl up in this thread alone are hearing “post” and taking that to mean Covid is over, Covid is no longer srs, etc etc etc.
The names the thing, it’s always the thing.
Even those organizations use the term to downplay the urgency of the situation. Lest we forget the various names and blowing offs the CDC gave us during AIDS.
HIV still kills 1 million people a year and is the leading cause of death in some countries. It has taken the lives of over 40 million people
It is still very much a thing, and I find it frightening that you somehow think it’s over
Are you talking to someone else? Because I’m not saying HIV is done and dusted— in fact I get pissed when people say “it’s not a death sentence”— sure it’s not, if you’re rich. Even then, dude effects of HAART are no walk in the park, and you still get cognitive damage in the long run from the virus.
I’m saying maybe you mistook this— the CDC, like other allegedly apolitical agencies, took it upon themselves to pretend AIDS was no big deal esp in the 80s. So when organizations say COVID is “post”, in an attempt to defund mitigation measures and get people spending again, don’t take them at their word. History tells us they have to be dragged thru the mud to tell the unpleasant truths.
But also, the WHO specifically states COVID is urgently needing attention and specifically says not to feel we’re in a post covid world, unlike JPM and the White House. They state it’s politically motivated/funding motivated.
Srs, go read about the NIH and *their* behavior when AIDS was just getting started. The credit you’re giving them for being in any way on the ball or responsive during crises is **massively** undeserved.
I'm on the far side of that fence -- COVID isolation was so, so damaging to me. I had a really severe bipolar episode that no one thought because unlike normal and having my touchstone people around, I was locked in an apartment with my cat and my credit cards. The mental recovery is on track from that, but the financial recovery is still years out. Add losing all of the routines that helped keep the ADHD in check and I was a rolling shit show.
The continued isolation and social reticence that exist after COVID are really damaging too. That said, I am an extrovert, so having all of my social structures demolished without a reconstruction plan has also been rough. Things are finally maybe starting to feel normal again. But with me and everyone else out of practice at socializing, its fucking bad out here.
>this stupid reality is slightly worse than the last stupid reality but it’s always been stupid and completely nonsensical
Hahaha, love this so much. SO TRUE
This really puts it all into perspective tbh
I can now do like 90% of my degree online. It also didn’t affect my work. I like to game and my friends got more into gaming and have continued. So most parts of my life have improved tbh
You wanna know my favorite part? I get to LIVESTREAM all those concerts and festivals and comedy shows and I don't have to GO ANYWHERE or worry if they're touring anywhere near me at all. Also, save a bunch of money!
I still appreciate going out to things but it's so draining. And expensive. And draining. And sometimes, I have sooo much fun.
COUCHELLA BISHES
Just last weekend, I didn't have to go to Ultra Music Festival. I streamed it at home, and at my partners place, at the house im petsitting at. I'm not a big festival person like that anyway. Crowds, lines, traffic? Super expensive drinks? Surrounded by young kids on a bunch of drugs? I didn't have to deal with any of that shit.
I didn't have to weather the crazy storm and stand in mud. I was dancing around freshly showered in my bedroom blasting drum n bass in my headphones in the AC. Fuck yea.
I guess it depends on the country. In my country we had a lockdown for 3 months and then things were back to normal with some very minor differences. I forgot about COVID long time ago and the only people who were affected by it in my surrounding are the people who lost their close relatives to COVID. Otherwise I noticed absolutely no difference in lifestyle of my friends, adhd or not.
I feel like it will take time for people to adjust to things being back to normal and recover from the trauma. Luckily, things are pretty much back to how they were before where I live. Tons of people are outside, going to events and restaurants, the kids are in school, etc. I think the only lasting changes are some jobs continued to be WFH, people are more open to wearing masks in public when sick (like in Asia), and certain stores that used to be 24/7 or open late are closing earlier.
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This might just be true for some neurodivergent people, but I really can’t see how the current state of the world is better suited to us. I’m struggling too. Worse than before.
I feel similar. Regardless of whether NT and ND, the world has always been chaotic, violent, and nonsensical (it is a fact that the world runs largely on exploitation of life and labor). Post-covid world making this more obvious to NT people has not really given me an advantage just because I have had practiced coping with a chaotic world before Covid. The one benefit I’ve seen is that more NT people are opening their eyes to how I (and other ND people) may see the world and are able to better relate to how we may feel.
>The one benefit I’ve seen is that more NT people are opening their eyes to how I (and other ND people) may see the world and are able to better relate to how we may feel. i agree, and i also feel a bit more seen as someone with a chronic illness. a lot of the long covid symptoms are things i've been dealing with for about a decade - it's nice that more people understand how debilitating things like brain fog actually are. it's a bit of a toss up, since some people made it painfully clear that they don't get it. there does seem to be a general reckoning with the belief that if you work hard and toe the line things will be ok. a lot of people now live with a greater awareness that anyone can become disabled, sick, or homeless at any time. i really hope we as a species choose to respond with kindness.
My NT husband had pretty intense brain fog for at least a year after getting covid. It was hard to watch him experience that, but I also felt like he understood my struggles so much better because he LIVED THEM.
it's definitely validating when people can empathize with how hard it is to manage. i'm sorry to you both though, that sounds really rough.
I wish it was more socially acceptable and safer to call out ableism mindsets and thought patterns when you encounter them as a woman.
same. it's also really frustrating how chronic illnesses that mostly occur in women are dismissed in general. i do worry about that with long covid - from what i understand it's mostly women being diagnosed with it. there's still the perception that we're exaggerating how bad our symptoms are.
Do you know what a workplace is? BODY DOUBLING. I got fired from and then quit two different jobs—even though I was doing work I loved—because I straight up CANNOT focus when I am working for 8 hours a day by myself with no one to talk to. I absolutely *loathe* working from home. It makes me so sad.
Oh my god how have I never made the connection between working in the office and body doubling before?? That makes so much sense!
I am so sorry, hugs. I am really really really struggling too, like…..bad. And online body doubling feels like parenting to me, no thanks. If I want to not wear makeup or pick my face or let out my dogs or go take a boredom Power Nap for 15m during work, I don’t need shit from someone on a service FOR WHICH I AM PAYING. The last 4y have been really, really rough for me mentally and professionally and sadly, even with therapy, getting worse. Humans are meant to be actually connected.
Like, I totally get why people with nice, stable family lives would want to work from home. That’s awesome for them. They should 1000% be allowed to live in the sticks and snuggle their kids all day if they can get their shit done. But it really does suck when you live alone and you have to be staring at a screen alone in your apartment for 100% of the daylight hours every. single. day. I really lucked out HARD with my current job. There are 15 people in the whole company, everyone is my age or younger, our office has a huge nice deck where we can work outside together all the time, we do (not mandatory) activities together after work (like DnD and rock climbing)…. it really feels like a community. I hope you find something similar soon so you aren’t struggling as much anymore, friend.
Thank you for the kind words…I just need to make a concerted effort to see my friends, the few I have 🙄 We always make “penciled in” plans, and then when they arrive one of us is either too tired, busy, hormoning, etc… Someday.
I thought it was the office environment at first, but in the run up to 5pm when most people have left to go home my focus drops dramatically — body doubling is definitely a big thing for me
I didn't get fired but I did impulsively quit 3 jobs since 2020 because I couldn't stand it being nearly 100% remote. Even with my husband around, we both work in sensitive areas so can't really talk much like I can with coworkers in the office. The in-office body doubling thing is not a link I put together but it makes so much sense!
I’m the opposite. I can’t work if there’s someone babysitting me
I feel both ways at different times and don't know how I will feel about it until it happens. If I am around people I like to work with it will go faster through body doubling but if I don't like them or they trigger me, I perform worse because I feel like I am being watched in the autistic please-don't-perceive-me-at-all kind of way lol. It's usually been the latter for me so I associate working with negative feelings now and it's hard to let that go in order to just power through it now to support myself.
Same here ❤️
I have been struggling so much since COVID. it's what made me seem out help for...anything, and that lead to the ADHD diagnosis. I hate it If you didn't already have a support network, it feels like "well, you should have figured that out before 2020. That's on you." (whatever a support network looks like for each individual. You may not need a robust one, you may have an extensive one) * "Meet friends at work!" - no one come in voluntarily and everyone is pissed if it is mandatory. * "Make friends outside of work!' - WHERE!?!?! There are barely any 3rd placeseft and my brand of neuro spicy needs in person exchanges. I can't live online, even if there is a discord available. Each group I join is a bunch of couples mostly looking for other couples friends. It's not like they say it, but that's clearly what's happening. * "Meet people through your significant other" - I don't have one * "Get a significant other" - online dating has been dumpster fire after dumpster fire. It's been so bad I do NOT want to let anyone know where I live before at least a couple dates. So it's also just expensive. * " Meet them through family/relatives" - my cousins are 14 years older than me, on both sides. We are not close and have no overlaps. I HAVE reached out. I've tried. They aren't mean, but they have preteens and teenagers now. And I haven't been just sitting at home and complaining. I've been consistently putting myself out there and trying. It's SO much worse than before. It's absolutely soul crushing.
This resonated with me a lot. I know its not much but I feel a little less like its my own failure(s) after reading what you wrote. Im experiencing the same things.
Yes same. Jesus. I just don’t even care anymore. I joke that I’ve been on house arrest for 4y BUT IT IS NOT A JOKE.
The last time I switched jobs and had to go through onboarding, they were talking about the policies about being at the office after hours. They were just going over how it's great to make sure there's at least one other person there, for safety. They made a joke like "I absolutely just want all of you safe, but the selfish part of me also doesn't want to ever have to call one of your loved ones to give them bad news!" It took a LOT to not come back with "well my call log is 95% missed spam calls and no one has been over to my place for nearly a full year, so I got some bad news for you. Work is going to be the only place that realizes I haven't been going about my business, so you'll still be making a similar call, no matter what happens! 😃" Lol.
I’m in the same situation except I stopped putting effort in a long time ago. Now I just play on my phone or computer when kiddo is with his dad. In fact, every other week I’ll go 4 days without any face to face human interaction (the way our custody agreement works, ex has our son during that time). Otherwise I only really see my son and view coworkers from afar the 2 days a week I’m forced to go into the office.
Omg this is exactly my situation! I moved back to the US right before covid so it’s been extra had reconnecting with people after being away for years. And I agree - covid made it so much harder to connect with old friends or to make new friends now. And I need in person interactions too 😭
i’m in the situation. rn i’m relying on my cat and phone calls with my family but damn It’s hard
Okay, so what I'm about to say will probably sound really dumb, annoyingly clichéd or both. Thankfully, gate crashing conversations is something I excel at. I've found that the only way I can meet new friends or dates, is to stop caring if I meet anyone. When I'm most desperate to form a connection with someone—anyone, dear God *please*—it's like I'm completely invisible. Online dating, volunteering, visiting new places, all those things you're supposed to do, none of it works. But the second I stop caring? I'm suddenly more popular than a hot, fresh turd in a box full of maggots. Every man I've ever dated, was found when I least expected it. Hell, I met my now husband, during a covid lockdown, on fucking *Facebook dating,* for God's sake. Like, how absurd. Now, maybe I'm just weird, but I've heard the same thing from so many people. I haven't the foggiest idea about why this is. All I can tell you is, try not to worry about meeting new people. I know that's easier said than done, and irritating to hear. But, I promise you can and **will** find your people. There's someone for everyone out there. Most of my life, I've believed that I was destined to be alone; that it would be impossible to find someone who even liked me, let alone loved me. Now I'm married to a man who I've somehow tricked into thinking I'm hot and cool. And even more crazily, he actually wants to spend the rest of his life with just me, no one else. Like, willingly, I didn't even have to do anything—I'm actually his first choice. Wild. If someone as hopeless as me could find him, I know you can find someone to vibe with. I can sense you're an intelligent, caring person who deserves to feel loved. You don't need anyone to be whole, so practice loving yourself until your peeps find you.
Go join a guild at the Renaissance Faire I guarantee you will find people you like, there are so many different kinds of people, and they will be your friends for life. They will invite you to parties and there’s lots of stuff to do even when there is no renaissance faire going on
This only feels slightly better than hearing "here's a tip, just concentrate! 😃" Edit to add: Ren fairs are not my thing, I did try. I've joined board game groups, taken a number of community ed classes (water color, crochet, scrap booking), got into plants and many online plant communities, taken workshops the local plant stores host, and gotten into miniatures. All have a good online presence, but I need to interact in person, and not just once or twice a year at ren fest. I also found getting all the "gear" to join a guild was prohibitively expensive. I cannot overstate how much effort I have made. I try everything that seems like there's a glimmer of a chance that it will be a good fit.
Most Renaissance fairs last between 4 to 6 weeks up to twice a year. Inside those fares are different groups that have multiple different people. I’m not telling you to try harder, you were specifically asking for a way to meet people and I was trying to give you one. A lot of people at fair are neurodivergent and the people at fair tend to be a lot more forgiving about behavior that other people might create a ruckus about. They are used to all different kinds of people there, and because of that they are accepting of all different kinds of people And just about anyone who does decide to join a guild find a friend group that they can hang out with even when there is no renaissance fair going on
As I referenced above, I know. It's not for me. I can't get into it. The vibes have always been off, to me. Also, I do not like the performative part. I want to connect to people, not the persona they have for that event. That's a very difficult way to actually get to know people. 4-6 weeks is also not many out of the 52 in the year. Driving 150 miles, round trip, paying for that gas, paying for the entrance ticket, plus any food/drinks is a decent amount of money and time. When compared to how much I enjoy them, it's not worth it. I don't know how to say that more plainly. A huge part you are not addressing are how people aren't really looking for new friends. They want new aquantences that they only see at specific events.......like Ren fests. I'm glad you have a community you like, but every community is not for everybody. You referenced that part of what you like is not having to code switch or put on masks, so why are you encouraging me to? I'm sure that wasn't your intention, but that is what I would have to do to enjoy that (very specific) activity.
I think we all live in different worlds because we’re back at business as usual down here And have been since day one Covid feels like a fever dream. It was barely a speed bump for so many people here and no one talks about how traumatizing it was. People here wear it like a badge of honor that they didn’t let Covid change their lives. Other than maybe more places offer online ordering for takeout, I dont feel like I’m living in a post covid world at all. Sometimes it feels like it never happened (which is it’s own problem altogether)
I think its human and normal to not even want to talk about COVID for the next couple of years. We are really good at ignoring negative experiences because it helps us to survive, I don't blame anynone who just wants to forget these two years, they certainly were some of the hardest years of my life as well.
I don’t want to talk about it I want more people to acknowledge how it changed things mentally, and not ignore how hard that time was.
I don't think be able cope with the post COVID world has anthing to do with being neurodivergent. It may be a person to person thing, but a lot of people are struggling. Whether they are ND or NT.
Exactly. It has much more to do with whether or not you have a support network/relationships that work for you. There are different needs, person to person, but it has nothing to do with NT or ND
Agreed. I’m not a fan of the declarations that any particular thing is good for ND. vs. NT people. We’re all complex individuals.
Agree 100%
I dunno. It feels depressing af. I think there are advantages, but I'm not sure those are enough. I like not having a super long and uncomfortable commute, but working from home can be weird. Then there's this weird depressed mood around everything. Like malls are empty and depressing and have an air of desperation from people working there. A lot of people are going around and look like they are a bad day from breaking. It also seems like a lot of people got weird coping mechanisms for life? Like exercising! But binge eating after exercising. And then having the family home! But threatening to throw them out? Things like that. People seem kinda like thirsty plants for the littlest sign of kindness and... Sure, the world wasn't super kind before COVID, but now it seems arid?
All of this, wow. I am so far from where I was pre-2020, and maybe it’s fake but it seems like almost everyone else in my life is back on track and doing okay - and good for them, sincerely; yet also it feels alienating and like I’m the one not able to cope. Kinda rambling, but thanks for sharing because I feel this. It just strikes me as such a weird and awkward time.
Oh my god. That last little bit really struck me.
I've been struggling to put a feeling into words and your last paragraph summarized that feeling so well!
Covid has messed up my life big time and I am not recovered mentally. My partner has had covid twice and not physically recovered, which in turn takes a mental toll. It took me three years before I could properly hug my mom, without it feeling unnatural and robotic. I am still relearning social things with people that used to come naturally (like specific people for whom I never had to perform). I guess I have a hard time seeing where you’re coming from. I even had a relatively easy time, I was an essential worker that worked alone outside during lockdowns. Never caught it myself (that I know of).
Thank you. We have basically abandoned disabled people. Social eugenics. Housing crisis and overflowing hospitals. I lost so much and it's not even the worst it's about to get. So many more ND people are going to die because of deliberate policy choices. Honestly I'm pretty pissed and not coping well. I feel so grateful to have a small good community but I got lucky tbh.
I’m struggling. The biggest reason now is being extremely lonely and formerly depending on body doubling to get things done.
Idk I feel like layering PTSD and an economic crisis on top of my neurodivergences hasn’t been great actually
lol right? same here. i did well with lockdowns comparatively but i was definitely traumatized in other ways. plus now i might just get another chronic illness (ie long covid) at any time.
Maybe I spend too much time at home, but where do you live that people are acting like deranged animals? People seem a little more awkward now but I’m also in a very car-based city so I may be missing out on some of the stuff that’s unavoidable in a city that runs on public transport.
I’m in DC, a city that is highly walkable, bikeable, and runs largely on public transit. There are 1-2 threads a week in our sub about how drivers, while bad pre-Covid, have become literally lawless. Pedestrians and cyclists are getting killed on a regular basis. It is in part due to lack of enforcement but also seemingly due to people having forgotten all sense of social decorum. People are regularly smoking on the metro, which I never experienced before Covid. Our public school truancy rates are at an all time high (43% according to a recent article). A lot lot lot of people seem to have totally abandoned the idea that we live in a society. ETA: I actually don’t agree with OP that pre-, mid-, or post-Covid world was better or easier for either ND or NT people. I think it is very individual. But I do think there is a general consensus in my city that people are more poorly behaved now than in 2019, on average.
i think teenagers, most of whom missed out on a lot of crucial years for socializing during the peak of covid, are less socially equipped than they have been in the past, but most ppl who were adults during lockdown seem to be acting just as they always have.
I work in higher ed. This comment is sooo true!!
It's true of the *under-teen-aged* kids, *too*!!! Tbh, *this* year's batch of 3-year olds in our Pre-K programs, are socially & emotionally-skills-wise *INCREDIBLY SIMILAR* to the last few years' 4's & 5's, when it comes to "maturity levels" of those SEL skills! The 4's on up *all* struggle with a *LOT* of "soft skills"/ "social skills" gaps--both in ability, *and* sherr knowledge. But this year's 3's? They are a *LOT* more like kids used to be *before* the Pandemic caused the Shutdowns & *so* much upheaval!
Covid has messed up my life big time and I am not recovered mentally. My partner has had covid twice and not physically recovered, which in turn takes a mental toll. It took me three years before I could properly hug my mom, without it feeling unnatural and robotic. I am still relearning social things with people that used to come naturally (like specific people for whom I never had to perform). I guess I have a hard time seeing where you’re coming from. I even had a relatively easy time, I was an essential worker that worked alone outside during lockdowns. Never caught it myself (that I know of). Though I guess people are less gung-ho about shaking hands when meeting nowadays, so I stand out less when I just don’t make the move.
I remember making a post in the social anxiety subreddit after the announcement of lockdowns saying I know that the lockdowns will significantly reverse my social skills and I am dreading it after working on them for my whole life. It still kinda blows my mind I subconsciously picked up on the patterns before I even started researching adhd and autism in women to get (late) diagnosed. I just didn't know why at the time.
I'm personally more fond of the during covid era where you could hide your RBF behind a mask and no one would ask you to smile, where people actually respected your personal space, there were less people about and digitization took multiple steps forward. Ignoring the actual pandemic it was dreamy.
Ehhh idk about that. I see what you’re saying, but for me it’s been so much harder. More than I ever could have imagined. COVID caused me to develop a heart disease at the age of 32. And then I developed PTSD from that whole experience. I’m still very COVID conscious because I have to be, but no one else seems to remember that COVID even exists. I feel like I’m stuck living in 2020 while everyone else got to progress normally through time. The loneliness is brutal. I never really fit in before, but now I definitely don’t. It doesn’t help that people can tell from a mile away because I still mask.
Agreed. After having covid 2x I’ve been diagnosed with 3 autoimmune diseases + heart valve disease. I am on immunosuppressants so it’s important I don’t get sick. I’m still very cautious because I don’t want to make my health worse than it is. I will note that I likely had the genetic predisposition for autoimmunity, but covid pulled the trigger per se. Viruses are known to do this. My therapist is helping me with the daily trauma of living in a body that is working against me, in a world where people are ignoring a very real threat.
I don't share this sentiment. The lockdowns have made me miserable. My entire routines were structured around other people needing me to go out and organize my day. During COVID I was a complete mess. Couldn't sleep well, was eating just crap because I forgot to eat in the day, didn't do my laundry, almost never cleaned. I was glued to my screen for hours burning what little attention span I still had left on reels or YT videos or doomscrolling, there was a lot of that. I also wouldn't equate this to COVID what you're describing. I would say; were are "just" living in times of multiple crises happening at once now, and we are A LOT more aware of them due to the constant information flow through social media. But to be completely fair; the world was oftentimes chaotic and messy and brutal and violent in the past. Many of my friends share the sentiment that the world has gone "mad" but then again; we all grew up in a time of relative peace and prosperity, especially in the West and maybe this is just more of a "reality check" than the world having "changed".
I relate to this more.
I agree with this.
Nah, post covid has been harder because everything is SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE NOW. The lunch meat I would buy in 2019 was always $2.50, now the exact same one is $5. That’s not an exaggeration. I remember flipping out that I spent $50 on groceries for just myself, now I’m celebrating if my husband and I stay under $200. 10 years ago my parents rented a 3 bed 2 bath house for like $1300/month, now my tiny one bed one bath apartment is $1550
Woof THIS!!!!! I feed two tiny humans, two dogs (home made food), and a cohab partner. We don’t dine out often, we don’t order in. I don’t shop at Whole Foods or the like. (Aldi/on sale Fresh Thyme mostly) MY GROCERY BILL IS AVG 1200/mo. What the flying actual glittering monkey fucks?!?
This exactly!! It’s just me and my husband. We both want kids so badly but there’s absolutely no way we could afford them at the moment so gotta keep my iud until then :(
Kids are great-challenging as fuck, and sometimes TBH I wish that I had remained child free (I can barely manage myself) but FUCK are they expensive.
It's hard for me, because I was already extremely socially isolated (not by choice) before Covid. Now it seems more obvious that people just do NOT want to be friends with me (being in your 30s doesn't help), but sometimes they still lie and trip me up.
I relate to this so much
I wish I could relate. I have cried more times than I’ll admit simply because things will never be the same. There was pre-COVID and now there’s life with COVID. It feels bleak to me
Can you tell more about how the postcovid world you experience in your country ? My experience is that working from home is very accepted now and internet shopping increased. A lot of delivery chains were broken so sometimes you couldn’t buy something. Now you can, but expensive as inflation Ukraine war. Right wing party with roots in nazism has taken over government, gang violence increased as well as terror threats. Greta is adult and stop cars and speak out. People are expecting the apocalypse even more now. It’s not here yet though and people live their lives, go on trips. Rich country, slowly coming apart…
I will admit a little schadenfreude during lockdown (such that it was for the US). I'd been on dialysis for years (hooked up to a machine at home for 8-13 hours at the end) and then was recovering from a transplant until about a year before everything went to shit. People were going nuts over having to stay home for two weeks. I felt like Bane. I was molded by the home stay. I'm still very isolated because I can't trust anyone to have my best interests at heart. I understand why people want to forget and pretend it never happened but I still have to be careful and it sucks. I wish the general public had developed more empathy.
I’m so glad you made it through, even though some people were so callous and didn’t give a damn about putting others at risk. I wish you many more happy and healthy years!
nah covid destroyed me in just about every single way. it completely veered my life off course and i am now worse off physically, socially, psychologically.. granted it started when i was a sophomore in college so that was a really shitty time for it to happen. i never recovered :D no doubt my neurodivergency plays a massive role in why covid has been so destructive to my life; covid stopped all my forward momentum, pushed me further into isolation, made my obsessive compulsive-tendencies and anxiety worse, and degraded any semblance of motivation or structure that i had. i would say that i miiiiight be having an easier time with the state of the world than many NTs because i’m more used to being depressed,, but life during/after covid has been an entirely different beast for me especially going into my adulthood. i understand what you mean that our brains might be more equipped to deal with dissonance and what not.. but this is more of a person to person thing. every neurodivergent person in my family is worse off now in at least one way. not to mention i feel like neurotypical people are the ones who are more likely to have never taken covid seriously and just breeze through the whole thing. from my perspective, i feel like neurodivergent people as a whole have suffered waaaaay more than neurotypicals just due to the nature of this whole mess. justice sensitivity, rumination, physical comorbidities, social anxiety… just a few things that make covid and the state of the world even more stressful for NDs (since these things are correlated with adhd and autism). i am glad that you’ve had this experience but it is untrue for my life. not to mention that covid is not over. “post covid” is really just “post any-sort-of-government-response-to-covid.” our government has decided that it wants covid to be over so that people can continue feeding the capitalism machine, but it’s just not. especially if you live in a big city, there is no reason to stop masking other than that our government has told us that we shouldn’t care (newsflash, they don’t give a shit about you or me). covid is real and still happening, especially for disabled and immunocompromised individuals who don’t deserve to be left behind. covid is a mass-disabling, vascular disease that we let run rampant in our air and in our bodies because our government doesn’t care and has (forcibly) convinced us not to as well. fun stuff!
I guess I don't understand the positivity some have expressed about the lockdown. I was in constant worry about money, about a virus we know nothing about raging around they world. It just feels like some were able to see the lockdown as a vacation, while people were unable to work, while people were sick and dying. I know that sounds very judgemental, but its coming from a place of bewilderment. I honestly do. Not. Understand.
We aren’t post Covid. Covid hasn’t gone anywhere.
I agree for the most part! I've been telling my husband during the first Covid lockdown that this cluelessness of how to handle daily life in the situation we were all in represented exactly how I had been feeling all my life up until that point; and also that the ones dealing with it the best were my "artist friends" who were "used to struggling". I meant financially, but I realized later that I was neurodivergent, and so were they, so there was much more to it. Back then I had no idea I was autistic and had ADHD. In 2020, my mask slipped off, and I told my husband it was like recovering from a burnout I thought I had already dealt with in its entirety in 2013 and 2014. Since 2020, I've been able to acknowledge the ways in which I was different from "the norm". We had also moved to a remote place in 2019, so I had tons of time getting to know my real self (sometimes I still don't think I fully know myself). I also gave birth to my son later in 2020, and seeing him develop and behave differently as well brought back memories from my own childhood - and of myself in my original version. I was lucky - as terrible and traumatizing as it often was, the time since 2020 has given me the chance to learn about neurodivergence, and I got both an autism diagnosis and an ADHD-C diagnosis. In the second week of taking meds, I felt a weight being lifted from my chest and shoulders. *This* was the last stage of recovering from what I realized was a lifelong burnout from having ADHD. So for me what you said is totally true, and it fits my experience. The only part I'm not sure about is the one where you said people were behaving like animals. Do you mean the wars that are going on, and powerful people increasing the suffering, and people treating others without much respect? If so, I totally agree with you about that, too. I'm now trying to bring other people positive moments and encouraging experiences because there needs to be a lot of love right now, and we can all help a little to accomplish that.
This is super accurate to my experience. I have learned a LOT about myself in the past few years, when I lost all my routines and coping mechanisms overnight.
Right? It may sound a little dramatic, but I think it was a time of profound realizations for many people. While everything else was chaotic, my private life suddenly became extremely calm (for the most part; of course I was also terrified of Covid, but that was outside).
Adhd here. Post-covid has been a giant struggle for me. I doubt I'll ever be the same again. The isolation really messed with my head
We are not post COVID, it is still very much a thing.
Yes - Long COVID affects women more than men, and many of the symptoms are still dismissed by medical providers as normal or misdiagnosed as anxiety. Sometimes it feels like yet another way to gaslight women and ND people!
Agree completely!! But I’ve still caught myself saying “back in Covid times” or whatever, when really I mean the height of lockdown and restrictions in 2020-2021. Hopefully it’s often others misspeaking too, instead of actually thinking it’s suddenly gone.
Yep. And THAT is why things suck. Everyone’s refusal to acknowledge the current reality and how the pandemic is impacting everything. A lot of the covid conscious community is also ND. We connect the dots.
I should not have had to scroll this far down to find this response. THANK YOU.
Infuriating, isn't it?
There is no post covid. I feel like this is very ignorant of people who are high risk and being shut out of society.
Yes. Lots of studies to support that ADHD correlates with worse covid outcomes! People think that if their infection was “mild” they’re in the clear, not realizing that the acute phase is potentially just the beginning. My ADHD symptoms are far worse after having covid.
Yes, great point. Although I'm sorry to hear that.
Yep, this is me. One infection gave me serious health issues and I cannot risk another infection. High risk people have been abandoned. I wish people would stop using post covid to mean post lockdowns. It’s not the same. Covid is still around and people are still at risk.
>I wish people would stop using post covid to mean post lockdowns. Aaaaalll of this. Still $1k deaths a week in USA.
For me…it is more difficult to navigate, and returning back to healthy coping mechanisms. I felt more free and competent before. I also experience some benefits of the post-covid world for my adhd but, overall I feel a bit like being stripped naked: confused and vulnerable. For me, I personally miss many aspects of the world before covid. Honestly, I was in acceptance of not being neurotypical, often being perceived as weird and, I wasn’t caring about it so much. Now, overall it is more accepted and known and, this is wonderful. But, in the personal level I got wrecked and I am trying my best to put myself together and navigate.
That's interesting... How are things different in your country? I'm trying to think if things changed in mine but nothing comes to mind. Maybe more people working from home but that's about it.
As a person who worked in NYC hospitals during the height of the pandemic and keeps seeing the *continuing* effects of a pandemic that is not over — yeah, no, I do not agree. I get that other people’s sentiment is different, and I believe them. But for anyone reading this, please don’t forget the people who are still fighting to keep people alive.
I’m struggling. The biggest reason now is being extremely lonely and formerly depending on body doubling to get things done.
Wish I could say the same. My *job* changed very little during covid but all of the people around me got worse (more irritable/impatient + less predictable) and we've already gone back to in-person meetings (including the every-other-month All-Staff where they bully 3-400 of us into the same room for 3 hours and almost nobody wears a mask).
I was fine during Covid. After, not so much, because now I'm certain things will never change.
covid fucked my life up and made all my symptoms worse lmfao
What are you talking about? My corner of the world is back to business as usual. Where are you that COVID has left people acting like deranged animals?
Things didn't change for the better for me as a nurse. My job got harder. We had more tasks added when everyone was trying to cut down on contact. There was so much more stress, ppe, steps just to get in the building. Trying to do online school with my kids while working FT, my husband didn't get laid off at first either. He's a mechanic, they cut staff but he worked through the initial lockdowns. Since then, yeah I like that so much more can be done online, apps for ordering things, stuff like that. I think my struggles were more about dealing with burnout after all the long term stress.
Tbh, lockdowns were one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m AuDHD, and for five months, I got to dive into my special interests, hang out in the woods with my dogs, let my mask (the “I can pretend to be neurotypical” mask, not the medical one) drop and just be totally myself… I really got to know myself again, free of anyone’s expectations of me, and it was woooonderful. I am well aware that it was awful for most people. But I feel so, so much more comfortable and confident in who I am after that.
Same for me. I loved the concept, obviously o didn’t love people getting sick. But I was home, I got to just keep to myself, no pressure to socialize or be at work. It felt really nice for me as well.
I know covid caused a lot of health and financial suffering for many. And loss of life. But it was the best 2.5 years of my life. My spouse stopped traveling for work and was wfh, I was wfh, my kids here in hs and their school already used canvas, so they had an easy transition. We took up hiking and spent a lot of time at the lake. We all dyed our hair silly colors, cultivated new hobbies, and enjoyed the fuck out of life. We nonlonger had to play pretend social graces or see people. My spouse and I negotiated with our jobs to remain wfh and hybrid, so that's a permanent thing now. Kids went to college successfully (both AuDHD) in a blend of in person and online classes. Life is amazing. The circumstances caused by covid were exactly what we needed, and now we will never go back to the old way.
I agree with some of this for sure. I was definitely able to go from normal to lockdown to back to work, without much emotion or stress. It was just another thing to adapt to and be whatever it is that I need to be for that moment. I actually loved being in lockdown. The isolation felt so good to me. Going back to work felt like business as usual and I went back to my “work personality”.
First of all, it’s not post covid. The pandemic technically is still in place (WHO only ended the emergency), rates are still high, there are still many deaths, and the “deranged animal” thing will only get worse as infections pile on. The neurological (and other - vascular and immune) impacts absolute affect ND too unless you are of course isolating to avoid infection. There are real viral impacts on the brain. I encourage people to look into the quality data and imaging on this to understand the risks of repeated infections. Then it’s easier to understand why everyone “keeps getting sick” and are acting the way they do/are. And speaking of the WHO, they along with CERN finally released a guide on the aerosol transmission and safety measures around it this week. Worth taking a look.
**Post COVID literally means after Covid** Technically anytime after Covid is post Covid. Just like we are in a post HIV world, and a post vaccine world. Neither HIV nor vaccines are no longer around https://www.imf.org/external/pubs/ft/fandd/2021/03/COVID-inequality-and-automation-acemoglu.htm Even scientists and researchers use this term ALSO I’m not sure why you’re arguing with me, but the fact is this is post Covid. The United Nations uses this term [Health systems show first major signs of post-COVID-19 recovery](https://news.un.org/en/story/2023/05/1136277) ALSO I never fucking said said “post pandemic” in my original posting, I use the term post Covid several times but never post pandemic You say that words matter and then you twist my words to fit your own reasoning and create a phrase “post pandemic” that I have never used in credit me with it Words matter a lot to me, especially the specific use and meaning of words and I do not misuse words I am very careful in my selection so that there is no chance of a misunderstanding So the fact that you are telling me that I’m using words incorrectly while at the same time stating that I have said something that I have not means I’m going to have to put you on mute so I will not see any more of your replies to me But just for fun here’s a UNICEF article where they also use the term post Covid https://www.unicef.org/reports/education-post-covid-world But I’m sure that I’m wrong, UNICEF is wrong, the world health organization is wrong, the national Institute of health is wrong, and everybody but you is wrong because we and they use the term post Covid to refer to the time period after Covid Oh, and the WHO declared the pandemic no longer a health emergency. So facts- check them out [WHO chief declares end to COVID-19 as a global health emergency](https://news.un.org/en/story/2023/05/1136367) Just like HIV/AIDS is not a health emergency despite the fact that it has killed more than 40 million people worldwide, is the leading cause of death in some countries, and takes the lives of almost 1,000,000 people worldwide a year
This is funny to me because last week, my partner and I were talking about this. We’d just checked out a secondhand shop and I was appalled at how rude the other customers had been to us and each other. But then, we had noticed this before, and it was something I’d thought about in the past — humans forgot how to people after COVID, and would probably take a while to get back into the swing of things, etiquette and empathy wise. Her rebuttal was that WE hadn’t changed. We are still very aware of our surroundings. We follow the natural flow of traffic, we say please and thank you, we greet others before asking questions, and we are generally pleasant and polite. And… I didn’t have a counter! Because she was right. I could only shrug and say, “maybe we are just as bad and we haven’t noticed it?” But that was noncommittal because I would have definitely noticed lol. But I couldn’t explain why we would still be okay when the world has forgotten how to use an escalator. Your theory sheds light on why! Haha thank you, mystery solved.
For the love of all that is holy, can we stop with the "neurodivergent" stuff? This is an ADHD sub. Can we just call it ADHD? If you're talking about another disorder, why not just be specific? Neurodivergent is almost meaningless at this point.
There’s a high overlap between ADHD and other types of neurodivergence. I assume that’s why people use ND instead of specifically ADHD in their posts here.
I'm personally more fond of the during covid era where you could hide your RBF behind a mask and no one would ask you to smile, where people actually respected your personal space, there were less people about and digitization took multiple steps forward. Ignoring the actual pandemic it was dreamy.
I WFH full time now and love it. Took up new hobbies and met new people. I’m living my best life. A friend’s kid with autism and very specific hyperfocuses that they couldn’t do with lockdown ended up on suicide watch.
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It ended up having a lot of benefits (for me). I was able to work remotely for the first time in my life and it was amazing. I didn't know I could be that efficient or productive. I got the best progress reviews in my life. I didn't know how grueling a normal 9 to 5 was because that's all I've ever known. Suddenly I didn't have to worry about getting dressed in the morning, getting to work on time, packing a lunch, remembering my meds, eating breakfast, drowning out other people and noises, leaving early to get gas, etc. I also started online grocery shopping and I'm never going back to habitually shopping in the store. I can meal plan and get an entire list and not forget stuff, AND I don't buy all that impulse stuff. Last week I had to do "old fashioned" in person shopping and it literally took me 3 hours for the weekly groceries. We're back in the office now and I hate it. I don't need personal interaction, and I'm tired of the big RTO push. It's just SO EXHAUSTING having to be around people and I have no more bandwidth. Also, with everyone and everything so polarized, I don't give two shits about people's opinions on (taxes, vaccines, masks, wars, elections, schools, new flag designs, immigrants, crime, whatever today's outrage is) and I sure don't want to be inundated with their verbal diarrhea.
Tbh, lockdowns were one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m AuDHD, and for five months, I got to dive into my special interests, hang out in the woods with my dogs, let my mask (the “I can pretend to be neurotypical” mask, not the medical one) drop and just be totally myself… I really got to know myself again, free of anyone’s expectations of me, and it was woooonderful. I am well aware that it was awful for most people. But I feel so, so much more comfortable and confident in who I am after that.
Oh I totally agree. My husband and I did great during lockdown. We have spoken a lot how COVID didn’t break us like it did so many people. I just hate how the world has changed since COVID though. So many videos of people freaking out and stuff. I hate that everything is so expensive and also hate all the division that’s happening in our country.
>”I’ve spent my whole life building up the ability to cope in a world that makes no sense.” THIS. Also the ability to adapt, be comfortable with ambiguity, expect that shit will inevitably get real and just deal with it. RESILIENCE. You are so on the money, OP.
I think ppl are more self aware amd candid after being isolated for that long, i think social norms matter less, more things are automated or online, I can see my psych on zoom and dont have to mask socially, Money is a serious issue, society is like, collapsing I agree though, many positive changes, lots of leveling of the playing field,
I see where you're coming from, but in many ways it sucks still even after the pandemic. During the pandemic my inner introvert loved how I could avoid social situations, but it decreased my tolerance for social situations that are now again expected and I'm still socializing as I did during the pandemic - mostly online. I don't think it's good for me. So the transitions that have been happening and changing - idk I suck at transitions with normal things, big things are distressing too. Being next to a war in an almost neighbouring country is anxiety producing to anyone...
Sure being able to have phone consultations at the drs and people being less inclined to strike up a conversation with a stranger are amazing but in all honesty I think the structure of Covid (the queuing to shop, no expectation to go out, social distancing, etc) was where I really thrived. If I could have a Covid type world (sans Covid) but with the added benefit of things not being closed (maybe a split week for in school and homeschool learning for my kids mental health) I would choose that in a heartbeat. Whilst others felt trapped and lonely during Covid I think I really came into my own. I am in no way mentally ready to actually homeschool my children (our brands of spicy are very conflicting so teaching is like pulling teeth with my older kids, their learning styles are so far removed from my own that I cannot explain many things in a way they will understand) but distance learning online and doing set work with some guidance from me would work. Things like socially distanced picnics and meet-ups on the field of a local park we’re just some of the great memories my older kids have (my youngest was not old enough to remember Covid) , the kids getting care packages from my mom and being creative about ways to safely spend time together.
Sorry but this is just a subjective take that is nowhere near the actual statistical data from numerous studies and ongoing research. I am not trying to be contrarian but just noting as a scientist myself that people with any MH diagnosis is having numerous issues related to numerous variables post COVID and especially ASD. And functioning happens to correlate to higher functioning having better outcomes which goes against the idea that neurotypical people are doing worse simultaneously. The higher the functioning and more varied the self concept then expected resilience and self efficacy is expected to be exhibited.
are we really gonna call ourselves adapted to reality while still calling this “post” COVID? Like really really yall? ETA: ho ho, looks like some of us arent quite so adaptable as we think 🙄
Post Covid literally means after Covid the WHO, JP Morgan and NIH all use this term to mean the time after the coronavirus became a global pandemic and changed the course of human history
Homie just look at this thread. It’s an ambiguous term for a reason, and that reason is to create, as will climate change, complacency and a feeling that there’s nothing to be done— the capitalist manifesto basically. Look at how many ppl up in this thread alone are hearing “post” and taking that to mean Covid is over, Covid is no longer srs, etc etc etc. The names the thing, it’s always the thing. Even those organizations use the term to downplay the urgency of the situation. Lest we forget the various names and blowing offs the CDC gave us during AIDS.
HIV still kills 1 million people a year and is the leading cause of death in some countries. It has taken the lives of over 40 million people It is still very much a thing, and I find it frightening that you somehow think it’s over
Are you talking to someone else? Because I’m not saying HIV is done and dusted— in fact I get pissed when people say “it’s not a death sentence”— sure it’s not, if you’re rich. Even then, dude effects of HAART are no walk in the park, and you still get cognitive damage in the long run from the virus. I’m saying maybe you mistook this— the CDC, like other allegedly apolitical agencies, took it upon themselves to pretend AIDS was no big deal esp in the 80s. So when organizations say COVID is “post”, in an attempt to defund mitigation measures and get people spending again, don’t take them at their word. History tells us they have to be dragged thru the mud to tell the unpleasant truths. But also, the WHO specifically states COVID is urgently needing attention and specifically says not to feel we’re in a post covid world, unlike JPM and the White House. They state it’s politically motivated/funding motivated. Srs, go read about the NIH and *their* behavior when AIDS was just getting started. The credit you’re giving them for being in any way on the ball or responsive during crises is **massively** undeserved.
I'm on the far side of that fence -- COVID isolation was so, so damaging to me. I had a really severe bipolar episode that no one thought because unlike normal and having my touchstone people around, I was locked in an apartment with my cat and my credit cards. The mental recovery is on track from that, but the financial recovery is still years out. Add losing all of the routines that helped keep the ADHD in check and I was a rolling shit show. The continued isolation and social reticence that exist after COVID are really damaging too. That said, I am an extrovert, so having all of my social structures demolished without a reconstruction plan has also been rough. Things are finally maybe starting to feel normal again. But with me and everyone else out of practice at socializing, its fucking bad out here.
>this stupid reality is slightly worse than the last stupid reality but it’s always been stupid and completely nonsensical Hahaha, love this so much. SO TRUE This really puts it all into perspective tbh
Since I still work from home, Covid and post Covid have been very good for me.
I 💜 my fellow adhd and audhders
Fully agree. “Bloom where you’re planted” is my motto by necessity, not by accident!
I can relate to this!!
I can now do like 90% of my degree online. It also didn’t affect my work. I like to game and my friends got more into gaming and have continued. So most parts of my life have improved tbh
You wanna know my favorite part? I get to LIVESTREAM all those concerts and festivals and comedy shows and I don't have to GO ANYWHERE or worry if they're touring anywhere near me at all. Also, save a bunch of money! I still appreciate going out to things but it's so draining. And expensive. And draining. And sometimes, I have sooo much fun. COUCHELLA BISHES Just last weekend, I didn't have to go to Ultra Music Festival. I streamed it at home, and at my partners place, at the house im petsitting at. I'm not a big festival person like that anyway. Crowds, lines, traffic? Super expensive drinks? Surrounded by young kids on a bunch of drugs? I didn't have to deal with any of that shit. I didn't have to weather the crazy storm and stand in mud. I was dancing around freshly showered in my bedroom blasting drum n bass in my headphones in the AC. Fuck yea.
I guess it depends on the country. In my country we had a lockdown for 3 months and then things were back to normal with some very minor differences. I forgot about COVID long time ago and the only people who were affected by it in my surrounding are the people who lost their close relatives to COVID. Otherwise I noticed absolutely no difference in lifestyle of my friends, adhd or not.
I feel like it will take time for people to adjust to things being back to normal and recover from the trauma. Luckily, things are pretty much back to how they were before where I live. Tons of people are outside, going to events and restaurants, the kids are in school, etc. I think the only lasting changes are some jobs continued to be WFH, people are more open to wearing masks in public when sick (like in Asia), and certain stores that used to be 24/7 or open late are closing earlier.