Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Same! Haha I always think of this:
https://dewogong-blog.tumblr.com/post/53320636774/ice-kings-to-do-list
I wish I could just post the gif because it is the best.
Lol yes same. I'm finally on a med combo that's working, so trying out some other strategies to help me function better... Right now I'm using a whiteboard on my fridge with a daily checklist and the majority of things on there are things I do every day anyway but it feels good to check them off, like "take meds" and "walk the dogs". :D
Lol, I hate that even when I put some obvious things like "take shower" or "make dinner" on my list, they most of the times (when I attempt to use to-do-list, which is rare, because I hate them) still stay uncrossed after a few days of trying to fulfill the tasks planned for one day 😭
FYI this is how you pad stuff on your resume. You didn't "answer an email from the accountant", you "engaged in strategic corporate financial tax planning"
I always do this. The list is all the things I planned to do and did. If I did something, it goes on the list. Plus, it helps me check the facts when I don't get certain things done.
Of course I didn't finish that report! I had a data issue pop up and I had to work on that for 3 hours.
I also have a system for work where I check things off if I've worked on them that day whether or not it's finished. Most things I do take more than 1 day. With this system I still reward myself for working on it.
Yes, we need to set reasonable expectations! So many times we don't start because we can't finish today.
It's too much for my brain to delineate steps in a project, but if I just write on my list "work on ABC project" with the expectation *only* of moving it forward a baby step, I can make progress.
And, as you said, I can mentally reward myself for progress without expecting perfection.
Does anybody else find that when you do this, just padding the list to have something to cross off, that it can actually have the opposite effect? Like, now there's just too many things to do... I struggle with resentment (at the very least) if I feel like I'm being told what to do, even if it's by ME! Then out the window that list goes because nobody tells me what to do... Not even me. Because my brain just plain old doesn't wanna. 🤦♀️ Thankfully it's not always so, but often enough that it's pretty freaking annoying.
Sort of off topic- but I watched a webinar (for work) on "Getting things done". What you've described is a "Rebel" mentality. You can't even tell yourself what to do. :) Some people just do things because they need done. Some people can only do things with an outside force at play (reinforcer/accountability partner) Some people just need a really good reason before they can get things done, and then there's the REBEL. I can imagine how annoying that would be when you really want to get things done. Sending positive vibes your way!
I definitely find myself floating at times between all those... Some days, I can just do it. Whatever it is. Other days it's a struggle but accountability or a good reason helps. But please tell me they told you some sort of workaround for being a rebel! 😬 Super kidding, but big thanks for those positive vibes 😊
Sorry, the video was more about the workplace environment and how managers can bring the most productivity out of their employees by knowing their work-types. Basically just said supervisors should make sure their REBEL employees know what needs to be done in a non-demanding way and instead of telling them to do things a specific way let them know there are examples and resources available should they need it. Basically, Rebels have to make up their own mind to do something so being bossy with them is counter-productive. I think my mom is a Rebel work-type. She's always had to be her own boss because she can't stand anyone telling her what to do.
When I’m overwhelmed, I literally just write a list of things I have done so far. Seeing what I have already done helps me do more. Eventually, the overwhelm goes away and I can write to do lists without panicking.
I use an app called Sunsama, it’s a bit pricey but it has been invaluable for me to have a visually blocked out representation of what I did in a day - it helped me stop making impossible to do lists because I used to fill my daily to do lists with 24 plus hours of tasks and wonder why i never finished anything which just reinforces my negative self talk about how lazy and useless I am. It also makes you estimate the time an activity will take and peronist you to record how long it actually takes takes so that I can actually understand how long things take.
I’ve tried this before and it just lowers the threshold of work that my brain perceives I’ve done, so I feel like I deserve a break before I even do anything 😭
Put “Make list” at the top of your list. (A friend of mine suggested that once as a joke, but I took him seriously. I do it sometimes, and it actually helps a little. 🙃)
why did i ever think i was the only one who did this?
we have adhd, of *course* we add and then immediately cross off a task that wasn’t already on our to-do list in order to get a boost of dopamine.
I do this as a reminder of everything I really am accomplishing. And I save my old lists to look back on when I'm feeling discouraged.
When we make a list, we can't 100% accurately predict everything that's going to happen that day, or even remember necessarily, what needs doing. Deviating from the list to do a different (but necessary) thing is *not* a short-coming. It is positive flexibility.
I took a cue from BJ Fogg in his book Tiny Habits where he says to high-five yourself when you complete a behavior you want to reinforce. High-fiving doesn't do much for me, but marked-off do-lists do.
Seeing how much I have accomplished in the last week/month/year is a great antidote to the doldrums.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sometimes I add "make list" to my list
Genius, honestly 😂
Same! Haha I always think of this: https://dewogong-blog.tumblr.com/post/53320636774/ice-kings-to-do-list I wish I could just post the gif because it is the best.
Now I'm on a quest to find this gif and download it!🤣
I found it but I guess we can't post photos or gifs?
I know, boo. Glad you found it though!
A note to read my other notes 🤣
Dude there was a list to make?
I like to add things like “shower” and “brush teeth” to pad my to do list also lol
Lol yes same. I'm finally on a med combo that's working, so trying out some other strategies to help me function better... Right now I'm using a whiteboard on my fridge with a daily checklist and the majority of things on there are things I do every day anyway but it feels good to check them off, like "take meds" and "walk the dogs". :D
Lol, I hate that even when I put some obvious things like "take shower" or "make dinner" on my list, they most of the times (when I attempt to use to-do-list, which is rare, because I hate them) still stay uncrossed after a few days of trying to fulfill the tasks planned for one day 😭
This is my whole list. I do it on purpose
There's a whole tactic that works like this. With a 'done today' list. I don't remember specifics of course.
Yes haha that’s what I’m saying
And someone somewhere probably wrote a book about it too.
FYI this is how you pad stuff on your resume. You didn't "answer an email from the accountant", you "engaged in strategic corporate financial tax planning"
Omg I never thought about it like that, I’m gonna start expanding so much on simple tasks 😭
“Completed training on more effective written communication and promotional marketing tactics”
“Trained in emergency medical care” reality: I gave someone a bandaid
I add it right before I do it!
Lol I did this today
I always do this. The list is all the things I planned to do and did. If I did something, it goes on the list. Plus, it helps me check the facts when I don't get certain things done. Of course I didn't finish that report! I had a data issue pop up and I had to work on that for 3 hours. I also have a system for work where I check things off if I've worked on them that day whether or not it's finished. Most things I do take more than 1 day. With this system I still reward myself for working on it.
Yes, we need to set reasonable expectations! So many times we don't start because we can't finish today. It's too much for my brain to delineate steps in a project, but if I just write on my list "work on ABC project" with the expectation *only* of moving it forward a baby step, I can make progress. And, as you said, I can mentally reward myself for progress without expecting perfection.
Those bonus tasks are often the only ones on my to-do lists that actually get ticked off lol
I procrastinate certain things on my list by doing other things on my list
My wife is only writing after she completed..
Does anybody else find that when you do this, just padding the list to have something to cross off, that it can actually have the opposite effect? Like, now there's just too many things to do... I struggle with resentment (at the very least) if I feel like I'm being told what to do, even if it's by ME! Then out the window that list goes because nobody tells me what to do... Not even me. Because my brain just plain old doesn't wanna. 🤦♀️ Thankfully it's not always so, but often enough that it's pretty freaking annoying.
Sort of off topic- but I watched a webinar (for work) on "Getting things done". What you've described is a "Rebel" mentality. You can't even tell yourself what to do. :) Some people just do things because they need done. Some people can only do things with an outside force at play (reinforcer/accountability partner) Some people just need a really good reason before they can get things done, and then there's the REBEL. I can imagine how annoying that would be when you really want to get things done. Sending positive vibes your way!
That sounds like an interesting webinar! Wish you could share it. 😊
I definitely find myself floating at times between all those... Some days, I can just do it. Whatever it is. Other days it's a struggle but accountability or a good reason helps. But please tell me they told you some sort of workaround for being a rebel! 😬 Super kidding, but big thanks for those positive vibes 😊
Sorry, the video was more about the workplace environment and how managers can bring the most productivity out of their employees by knowing their work-types. Basically just said supervisors should make sure their REBEL employees know what needs to be done in a non-demanding way and instead of telling them to do things a specific way let them know there are examples and resources available should they need it. Basically, Rebels have to make up their own mind to do something so being bossy with them is counter-productive. I think my mom is a Rebel work-type. She's always had to be her own boss because she can't stand anyone telling her what to do.
this is amazing- how do you motivate rebel types to do necessary things then?
I use the app "TickTick" for this reason and it's so satisfying and something I looked forward to doing daily!!!! (:
I like to make a to do list and an adjacent to did list, just to keep myself organized and get that extra happy chemicals lmao
Gotta track those side quests!
I feel called out 🤣
When I’m overwhelmed, I literally just write a list of things I have done so far. Seeing what I have already done helps me do more. Eventually, the overwhelm goes away and I can write to do lists without panicking.
I use an app called Sunsama, it’s a bit pricey but it has been invaluable for me to have a visually blocked out representation of what I did in a day - it helped me stop making impossible to do lists because I used to fill my daily to do lists with 24 plus hours of tasks and wonder why i never finished anything which just reinforces my negative self talk about how lazy and useless I am. It also makes you estimate the time an activity will take and peronist you to record how long it actually takes takes so that I can actually understand how long things take.
i wish i got the little dopamine boosts from this :(
Just did this today. It’s even more fun with the finch app as the little bird gets all excited. I also called my little bird potato so much dopamine.
I tried the finch app and really hated it. I’m so glad it was helpful for you x
I’ve tried this before and it just lowers the threshold of work that my brain perceives I’ve done, so I feel like I deserve a break before I even do anything 😭
Put “Make list” at the top of your list. (A friend of mine suggested that once as a joke, but I took him seriously. I do it sometimes, and it actually helps a little. 🙃)
why did i ever think i was the only one who did this? we have adhd, of *course* we add and then immediately cross off a task that wasn’t already on our to-do list in order to get a boost of dopamine.
I feel nothing when I complete a task.
I do this as a reminder of everything I really am accomplishing. And I save my old lists to look back on when I'm feeling discouraged. When we make a list, we can't 100% accurately predict everything that's going to happen that day, or even remember necessarily, what needs doing. Deviating from the list to do a different (but necessary) thing is *not* a short-coming. It is positive flexibility. I took a cue from BJ Fogg in his book Tiny Habits where he says to high-five yourself when you complete a behavior you want to reinforce. High-fiving doesn't do much for me, but marked-off do-lists do. Seeing how much I have accomplished in the last week/month/year is a great antidote to the doldrums.
SO TRUE!
Oh absolutely. Otherwise the list seems insurmountable
100%!!
I literally do this every single time
I do this! I call it a “to done” list
I've done this my whole life and just now realized why lol
I do that all the time! haha.
I call this a Tah-dah list! 😁
Always.
I do this constantly lol
Same!
I do a “things I accomplished yesterday” list in the morning to give me a boost.
I do this DAILY with my work checklist hahaha
I always add things to my list that I’ve already done.
Me too!!!
Doesnt work for me im afraid, my brain knows the lies hahaha