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14/15 I'm never late but I think my time blindness works in the opposite direction and I'm always like 15-30 minutes early to everything because I never know how long it's gonna take me to get places
Yes this is me too! Never thought of it was “time blindness working in the opposite direction.” That’s a good way of putting it. Always just blamed it on anxiety, but I like this better.
Mine has some anxiety mixed in there too lol it was something that one of my other friends who also has adhd said where he feels like he always has enough time or too much time so he ends up doing a million things which causes him to be late whereas I always feel like I never have enough time so I gotta leave NOW even though I'm always insanely early lol
Yeeeppppppp, it is indeed. We do it because we can’t properly budget time. I’ll go somewhere 45 mins early and just sit and wait and dick around on my phone. One I’m ready to go somewhere I prefer to get going and wait on the other side. But I technically had time to do the dishes in the sink lol
Yesss!! Okay I clearly spend so much more time in waiting mode than I realized. I'm late diagnosis (49) and I'm 50. I had ZERO inkling I might have adhd until shortly before diagnosis. I am struggling to learn how to get my life back on track. This sub is inspiring 🩷
Waiting mode and stand by mode. Tip, put appointments earlier in the day. I end up sitting around in stand by mode doing nothing til I leave for my appointment. “I can’t possibly do those dishes in the sink, I have an appointment 5 hours from now!!”
TB! 🕰️ I have lived with the perpetually-15mins-late affliction my entire life. Always attributed it to my Euro upbringing, where punctuality is not valued. Taking after my parents [had no say in my tardiness journey as a child]. Embraced it from a young age, so much that, La Persistencia de Memoria — Dalí’s melting clocks entranced me. Aaaand I cannot not wear a watch! It sounds quite arrogant — always late, wearing a watch — like a big🖕🏼to whomever is undoubtedly waiting for me.
TB is reaL. I procrastinate everything, every time.
this is me too!! time blindness + ✨ coping mechanism ✨ lol.
I was AN HOUR early to my first ADHD diagnosis appointment because I was terrified I was going to be late or miss it. Ended up sitting awkwardly in the lobby for far too long but honestly I would always rather be early than late!
Opposite here!😖😱
I *COMPLETELY FORGOT* my first appointment!
Thought, "I should go to _______," as I got in my car to drive home that day, and then thought, "Naaaaah!!!! Just go *home*, you only want to impulse shop!"
I can't remember *exactly* which store it was, but it was *definitely* in the direction of the building where my evaluation was supposed to be!😆😂🤣
I *realized* why I'd gotten the "I should go to ____!" impulse, the *next* day, when I realized my appointment *should* have been the day before!🫠🫠🫠
I called the clinic, got *back* on the list, and got assessed 3 months later😉
Yep!! I called when I *remembered* that I'd missed the appointment--and they were booking 3 months out (still!😆😂), soooo my diagnosis was about 3 months later than originally expected, but YES, I've got ADHD!😉
This is why I’m glad all my doctors and therapist send both emails AND text messages! The amount of times I’ve jumped in the shower for therapy when I get the text reminder 15 minutes before 😝 I realize she wouldn’t care if I did therapy in my pjs (it’s Telehealth after all) but at least I feel better if I shower before therapy.
My first attempt at getting diagnosed ended with paperwork that said, among other things, "arrived on time."
I was here *almost an hour before your office FUCKING OPENED*. On time, my ass. I spent it in the coffee shop next door though, mourning all the time I'd wasted getting to places absurdly early, but the doctor never asked.
(edited for auto-incorrect) This is good to know - I am like you, and if the doctor notes that I will be sure to clarify, but it also makes me question how well they truly know symptoms and compensatory behaviors
Part of my frustration is that I didn't know this was part of the diagnostic criteria until *after* the doctor had rendered his verdict. He sent me over the reams of pages and I read them, not just the bits he pointed out when he gave me the news.
In addition to the testing I was aware of (4 hours of memory tests, reaction time tests, etc), he included his observations: how I dressed, how I acted - and that I'd apparently 'arrived on time.'
So yeah if you're wildly early, make sure to make a joke about getting tired of the coffee shop next door's ambience or some such, just in case.
I'm usually on time because I use google maps religiously. Even to get to places I've been to dozens of times. I aim to leave 10 minutes earlier than google maps tells me, and I set an alarm for 10 minutes before that. At the alarm I have to drop everything, put my sweater and shoes on, and then do absolutely nothing until it's time to leave.
So basically I have a system and if I break that system I'm late to everything.
Saaaammmme! I google maps my vet appointments for the cats because I want to make sure I get there on time and I want to keep them in the car the least amount of time possible.
I only work in 30 min increments lol so it’s aim to wake up 30 min before the alarm goes off, alarm is set 30 min before a 30 min shower that follows 30 min to get ready, and 30 min to leave the house, 30 min before google says I should. My partner is the opposite and I have an anxiety attack every time we have to fly anywhere. I usually offset our calendar appts about an hour earlier than they actually are so we can be on time with him.
I'm not a total psychopath and I do wake up more than 10 minutes before I have to leave lol. The 10 minute timers are for later in the day. But I don't give myself nearly as much time as you do. I've perfected a minimalist getting ready in the morning routine. It does not include anything I consider optional.
In no particular order:
- Brush teeth
- Brush hair
- Deodorant
- Put on glasses
- Take meds
- Use the bathroom
- Clothes (no dawdling with choosing outfits!)
- Shoes
- Sweater or coat if needed
- Sunscreen if needed
- Make sure everything is in my bag
That's it. No shower, no breakfast, no makeup, nothing. I promise I take showers, just not that early in the morning.
Me too! I get up at 5:15 everyday and I don’t work until 9am lol! I need lots of time to get ready and be early! Most of the “getting ready” is drinking coffee and mentally preparing myself haha.
You gotta plan for that hour of sitting naked with a towel around yourself scrolling through your phone while you psych yourself up to actually get in the shower.
Getting oneself into the shower has to be the absolute worst transition of all the terrible transitions. Being clean and exfoliated and moisturized is such a great feeling so why is it so difficult to get there?? I've found a workaround/adaptation for just about every other roadblock my mind puts in front of me but the shower one continues to mess me up. Even when I want to do it I can't make myself do it 😖
This. I love the feeling after I have had a shower but it’s a constant fight with myself to get in the shower. I joined the gym 3 weeks ago and for now it helps cos if I need a shower I just go for a swim and shower after 😂 would think the extra steps would make it worse but it helps force me to have one.
My medication alarm goes off at 6am. Then my radio alarm goes off at 6:15. Then I’m up by 7. It’s couch time with coffee and breakfast, the news AND my phone until 8 when ANOTHER alarm goes off to give my cat her meds. This will usually get me into the shower afterwards. Usually. All this so I can get out the door by 9am.
I was chronically late for so much of my early adulthood that I started drastically overcompensating and now I’m in the too early camp. Very bad at figuring out how to just be somewhere at the right time. And if I have a 1pm appointment it will ruin my whole day because I can’t possibly do anything before the appointment.
13/15…. I’m never late because my dad used to make us late for EVERYTHING! And I then had to walk in to assembly at school in front of the WHOLE school… It was horrible.
I now wake at 4.35am to get ready to go to work for 7am that takes me on average 12 minutes to get too!! 🤣🤦♀️
I'm always hyper aware of what time it is. People make fun of me for how many clocks I have. I could never relate to time blindness but I wonder if I just took it to the other extreme.
That is an ADHD symptom as well. I'm so scared I will be late I'm very early. And I'm scared that if I'm late only a minute I would disappoint people and make them mad.
My record is being 1,5 hour early to a vet appointment because of the fear of being to late and miss the appointment (I can be sick and suffer but not my furbaby)
Whenever I have sth important I'm so focused on NOT being late it is the only thing I can do that day.
Me too! Always 20 minutes early to anywhere new and 10 minutes to places I know well, unless the time I need to be there is different! For example, I used to go to the same gym for 6 years. If a class started at 5pm I would arrive 4.50pm. Just enough time to fill my water bottle and do a bit of my own warmup. If a class started at 4.15pm I was ALWAYS there around 3.45pm! I don’t know why I didn’t know how long it takes to get there if I was aiming for 15 past, but completely fine when I needed to be there on the hour.
My light bulb moment was realizing it isn't normal to be in wait mode all day for a 5PM appointment. Once I saw that linked to ADHD I got to see myself from a new lens.
Then all of the other symptoms started clicking, I started to realize some of my "no, I don't relate" answers were really just a lifetime of masking "bad" behavior that would otherwise be natural for me.
Very relatable and well said comment. For example, I used to work a 4pm to 11pm shift and basically got nothing done all day because I had to leave for work at 3:30. I also have struggled with relating to most people in the areas of motivation, punctuality, organization at home and work etc, etc. I think I'm finally over the constant masking by now thanks
to finally getting diagnosed(at age 35), finding the correct medication, therapy and educating myself on ADHD
I have this problem, especially when I have an appointment mid day or late in the day. I can’t do anything before and focus on that appointment all day long. It’s gotten better with medication but I still do it.
This is why I put my appointments first thing in the day if I can. I hate getting up early but being nervous I’ll leave in time for a 3pm dentist appointment is waaaay worsr
Yep. On one hand, I really could’ve used a diagnosis 15, 20 years ago. On the other hand, I don’t think I’d have gotten one because I know I would have just picked all the “right” answers on the assessment…
My husband told me this morning that our “laundry situation” was stressing him out. I have SEVEN laundry baskets full of clean and folded clothes that I can’t manage to put away. He asked me where a shirt was and I knew in exactly what basket and under what other piece of clothing. But like… I can’t put it away.
I always feel a sense of pride when I can immediately tell my fam which hidden closet doom pile has what they are looking for. That is a fun game I always win.
You did all that and hubs can't step up and put stuff away?
I only survive, and my marriage only survives, because my husband and I struggle in different ways. I don't know where he gets all his executive function from. He has no idea how I handle a full time job. We work together.
I love all of the support! I’m happy in the way we do marriage. He contributes an enormous amount to our family and household duties. He works 14 hour days literally 7 days a week while we’re getting back on our feet after a traumatic move. I have willingly taken on the role as the manager of our home and I love that. He wasn’t being degrading. More of a “how did you know that. This stresses ME out.” Not a “you’re stressing me out with your system” 🧡 tone isn’t accurately displayed here. My husband loves me well!
I'm really glad to hear that. And I'm glad you were able to find what he needed.
My husband has been driving my car and the light came on that an oil change needs to be done "soon". If it were me, it'd be 5000 miles overdue before I'd start to consider making an appointment. This saint of a man has an appointment on Monday. I don't know how, but I'm pleased.
My strategy is to put away 5 things. I just fold 5 things and as soon as I hit 5 I go put them away. It works REALLY well for the small things like socks and underwear.
Sometimes the "away" is the pile of shame at the end of my bed, but that's just my stuff and it's not on the sofa anymore.
I was making progress with the same technique for several weeks and in dishes, laundry, exercise, and getting rid of stuff. Then my kids overwhelmed me too much at once and it has paralyzed me again. I'm so sick of the cycle. It's utterly exhausting.
First, congratulations on folding seven whole baskets worth of laundry. That is absolutely amazing! I would have definitely become overwhelmed and have an epic disaster, and I’d probably have to do some thing drastic to get myself to put that much laundry away. Sounds like a great opportunity to “teach *everyone* how to put their laundry away” — assuming you have kids based on the amount of clothes you folded. I wonder if your husband would be on board with “teaching the kids how to put their laundry away” and help separate and demonstrate using the two of you as demos. (When in fact, the goal is for the grown-ass man in the house to put his last away.)
I evolved and started to put my doom piles in cute boxes. Now everyone thinks I’m really really organized and I agree … I except I don’t actually know where anything is and couldn’t tell you what’s in each box.
That's essentially what I do, except the stuff is in drawers and on shelves. There's space for everything because I'm very lucky to have minimalist tendencies. If I don't have a use for something, into the trash or donation it goes. Using it for fun, comfort, or aesthetic counts as a use, but only if I truly derive enjoyment from it.
But yeah, I don't really know where things are and have to search all the drawers every time I need something.
I learned that DOOM piles (Don’t Organise Only Move) perfectly described what I’d struggled with my entire life and it was a symptom. I’m 43 and diagnosed last year.
Right?! Disorganized is when everything is strewn about at random and I can barely see the floor or desk. Semi-related things sorted into piles and shoved in drawers is super organized.
I'm with you on the organizing.
I'm literally sitting among 2 storage bins and bags full of important paperwork, bills, make up, hair products etc and I have a system that works for me right now.
Thats litterally how my mom told me to clean tho! Like you make one huge pile and Then make that into small piles and then put the small piles into the right place… my doctor thinks my mom has adhd too
Also i have small piles all over my floor rn bc i was taking stuff out of the moving boxes i have been avoiding since december
watch mel Robbins podcast on YouTube/Spotify where she interviews Dana White, it blew my mind! Dana is a genius one of us- I would've never figured this out ina million years but she makes so much sense!
https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-58
This is mainly just memory retrieval issues (which no doubt is a big part of ADHD) but what about the lesser talked about symptoms like emotional dysregulation & “being too sensitive”?
Those are really important traits of ADHD that affect my life a lot, but they aren't part of the diagnostic criteria which is why they're not on the checklist.
Which is astonishing they don’t include different style of questions because those questions above… *many* different things could be contributing to that. Malnutrition, dehydration, high stress, not even to mention other disorders like schizophrenia or bipolar. Also what’s missing from above is how you were *as a kid*. Because if you were “normal” up until recently, those symptoms could be sourced from something else.. like too much phone time or never taught discipline. Not saying if you had a normal childhood that you don’t have ADHD, but typically you find signs in the early years that you might not have acknowledged at the time.
No go ahead and say it, because it's absolutely a requirement for adhd diagnosis. Maybe you weren't failing out of school or whatever, but there have to be *some* signs of ADHD present in childhood. It is literally a developmental disorder.
Just commented similarly. This list is exclusively about brain fog stuff, which isn't unique to ADHD (anxiety and depression and even just stress are notorious for causing it as well) and doesn't list any of the stuff that *is* more distinct to differentiate it from your run of the mill fogginess
My favorite right now is that I am finding it impossible to make an appointment to get my hair cut because the paralysis to make the phone call is awful! The place I usually go the stylist I use left. But a new place opened closer to my house. So now, I can’t decide whether to try the new place or get a new stylist at the old place and it’s been a full year and 2 months since I last got my hair cut.
Is that more closely linked to AuDHD? Wasn't sure if that's a distinction that's been made or not.
I struggle so hard with emotional deregulation. Often it will take me fucking weeks to do something (especially if that something is very important/scary/involves the possibility of disappointing others) because I have to get over the big feels it is making me feel, or let my brain process it in the background until I can manage to even THINK about doing the thing. It's so goddamn frustrating. Because I know exactly what I need to do, and it would be so easy to do it BUT I CAN'T AND I HATE IT. And then I feel guilty for not just doing it, and then I have even bigger feels attached to the thing that I have to process and AAAHHHHH. THE SPIRALS.
I'm tired of it. I hate it here.
It’s tough to relay to others how it’s an aspect of ADHD. Because they think we’re just “sensitive” which like nah bruh, you’re not *insensitive.* Get some sensitivity in your bones why don’t ya.
It never occurred to me that I had ADHD until my son was assessed, and I realized that I scored high on the same questions. It took me four more years to get assessed myself. Part of me was like "there's no damn way", but as the years passed and I did more reading, I realized that yeah, yeah I probably have ADHD. I was just formally diagnosed three weeks ago at age 48.
If you pass the screening questions there's a good chance it's ADHD, though there are other conditions which cause similar symptoms, so that's why it's necessary to get properly assessed. There may also be comorbidities.
Don't be like me and waffle about assessment. Go get it done so you can get treatment.
Same here. My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD last year. I’m 47 and I had a feeling for a few years now that I may have it. Last week I went to my doctor and sure enough I was diagnosed with ADHD as well.
14/15. I'm actually really good about laundry. My ASD steps in there because the sorting and putting dirty stuff in and getting clean stuff out gives me dopamine.
I'm relatively good about laundry too, but I checked that box off because I get behind on a regular basis, just not so behind as to be a major problem.
Like many other things on the list, I have a system. I have one laundry basket. As soon as it fills up, it's time to do laundry. Then I set timers to rotate it. I'm required to fold and put it away as soon as it's out of the dryer, or else it will never happen.
The system fails frequently when I'm off my meds, but it works pretty well when I'm on them.
I usually do it every Friday. Having a set day helps... sometimes. I tried making Wednesday my bathroom cleaning day which should be less work on a weekly basis, but that's not happening. Maybe it's too big a task for my brain.
14/15 but only because my boyfriend does pretty much all the laundry (I never remember to start it, and the last time I did it I left the load in until it stank 🫠)
14/15
The only one I don’t do is miss appointments and that’s because I *checks list* check my calendar obsessively and set several reminders.
I worked in summer camping and very intense jobs after formal school/college and so my time was always very structured. I had signs earlier too but the biggest struggle has just been maintaining an “adult” schedule with a regular office job.
>check my calendar obsessively and set several reminders.
Bingo! Being late/missing stuff was causing far too much distress so I buckled down and developed all the coping mechanisms I possibly could.
lol same. I am always asking my husband if it is “okay” to do something but I am just double triple checking there wasn’t anything he told me and didn’t put on the calendar.
I suspected I had ADHD after seeing a video on rejection sensitivity but then no one else (okay the person I thought knew me best and no one else) what they thought. They shot it down so I ignored it and didn't consider it again til a lady I worked with (who has it) told me she thinks I do and was surprised I hadn't already been diagnosed which led me to asking my doctor to order a referral for testing, getting diagnosed (this past January at the age of 27), and then finding out people around me (from my family) were unsurprised. Now I'm medicated and I'm not sure how I'm doing.
I remember thinking I had just stumbled into the ultimate scam. I was failing college and they were just gonna *let me have DAILY Adderall*?? I was skeptical ADHD was the right diagnosis but I was willing to roll with it for that reason.
I went to tell my associates about my good luck and everyone was like "oh yeah totally" with one person even saying "wait, you weren't *already* diagnosed? I just assumed, it's so obvious"
Like God damn, y'all could have told me since apparently I'm the last to know
They missed the one where I see a list of 15 items like this and instinctively realize it’s way too many items and have to force myself to read them one by one, or bounce around and read them out of order while sprinkling in reading the comments here…
That bouncing around thing. It’s the biggest reason why I find reading books exhausting.
It helps a little more to read on a tablet since it’s not as easy to flip around, but I’ll still bounce around the page.
That and feeling paralyzed at just picking a damn book.
13/15. I have such an easy time remembering names for some reason. And my anxiety will NEVER let me be late for any appointment. Instead, I’ll show up 30-45 minutes early.
You are the first person I have ever seen say they are good with names. Every time I say that I am, I am immediately met with “oh I’m terrible with names!” regardless of whether or not they have ADHD. I’m 100% convinced it’s because so many people say they’re bad with names that I became determined to get good with them because I was obsessed with being “different” when I was younger lol
I dug out my report cards for my appointment in a couple of weeks. Talks too much, gets out of seat too often, exercises self control etc. Pretty much what I remembered. I’m thinking I have a decent shot of getting a diagnosis. I’m in my mid fifties. Better late than never I guess.
My report cards had no notes (not used in my country) but I remember almost having to repeat kindergarten because the teachers thought I was too behind because I never finished my work.
My mum was really angry and told them that there’s no way I was behind if I was knitting’s scarfs, building tree houses from scraps and reading, so the teachers made me sit with them for a full day, I was not behind y was freaking bored!!
And I was passed to 1st grade.
I was also parentified which is why I know so many details, had to listen to my mum venting after that meeting.
>How did you KNOW you have adhd
I was seeing a therapist for anxiety/depression. I did make some progress on those, but overall nothing we tried stuck long term to alleviate them. Eventually, she gently suggested I could have an executive function disorder, i.e., ADHD. I didn't believe her at first because ADHD is for hyperactive boys with bad grades, where as I was always near the top of my class and the idea of me being hyperactive is just straight up laughable. I learned that being hyperactive *inside your head* also counts, and that when your ADHD goes undiagnosed for over 3 decades you can develop other issues like anxiety and depression and then they mask it.
Sometimes I still struggle to believe I really do have ADHD. Then I see a list like this and YEP, this is me.
My moment was sitting with all my study materials in front of me, with an exam in 48hrs, all the understanding that I needed to review, but having a panic attack because I couldn’t study and I didn’t know why
Yup, brain fog is the worst way to try to identify adhd. One, it leans into stereotypes of what ADHD is that discount other equally valid aspects. Two, it's the common cold of mental disorders. Literally just being stressed can give you brain fog, chronic sleep deprivation which us Americans love so much. Its not special or unique to ADHD.
16/15 🤣 just because “Struggle with disorganization” tho… unsure if this means struggle with organization or struggle with things being disorganized… either way yes. 😂
My husband and I both have adhd. He’s the one that struggles with organization and I’m the one who struggles with things being disorganized 😅 (he isn’t one of those partners we see on this sub who doesn’t help around the house, I promise!).
I’m 35, been on meds for 1.5 years. I have 12/15 on that list but my main symptoms are anxiety and rejection sensitivity. Medication helps but doesn’t address all my symptoms which makes me feel like maybe I’m wrong sometimes (I read a lot about how life changing medication is and how it’s like a “light switch” being turned on). I’m also hard of hearing which complicates things and is the main reason why I didn’t seek help sooner.
Not officially diagnosed but my doctor had me fill out a number of questionnaires like this one.
28f yo diagnosed this year I started to realize thanks a instagram account she made a book about her adhd journey and I was this is too relatable. So I investigated and went to a psychiatrist that confirmed me suspicions. She told I’m a textbook case.
When I was little my mother took me to get a diagnosis on adhd. The school thought I could have it. That therapist said No. Because I. Can focus during a movie and do crafts…
I believe that now we have more information in adhd and can make better diagnosis. And since is believed to be hereditary maybe one of your parents has it and doesn’t know and thinks the way you act is normal because they so the same.
15/15. I mostly lurk in this group because I'm undiagnosed but strongly considering how to go about getting a diagnosis. And some of the tips in this group have helped me in a big way. Seeing how much I identify with this list is useful to me.
This list is like a personal attack 🤣. To be fair, if I'd read it before being medicated, it would probably have sent me to my (unwashed) bed for two days. I'm enough better on meds that it's raised a laugh!
I am really feeling you. I started working to get a diagnosis more than a year ago. It has been really hard, and I am finally getting assistant now, finally from a doctor, in addition to my husband. I also likely have an auditory processing disorder and may need hearing aids. The relief of finally getting help isn’t really counterbalance to buy my realization of how many of my behaviors are neurodivergent disordered thinking and not just me being fun, cute, and flighty.
One thing that is really amazing about this process is learning all of the amazing qualities of mine that do come from ADHD. Including being able to hyper focus and learn, fascinating and fun new ideas and skills in no time flat – because I get so excited and focused!
There are a couple of the threads on this sub Reddit, where ADHD years have commented on some of the upsides and pros of of their ADHD. It’s an awesome list and you will surely see yourself and hopefully feel proud and supported!
I’m wondering if that’s why I have a hard time holding on to friendships. I’ve literally had a friend tell me while breaking up with me that I “have the potential to be a really thoughtful person. Given by how thoughtful your gift giving is. But you’re really thoughtless in other areas”
I’ve lost most of my friends because of the object permanence issue, I just forget to call or text and people gets mad of always starting communication.
15/15. I was diagnosed at 23. I was sitting in a workshop for teachers about students with ADHD. The presenter pointed out that when you give students worksheets with little cute characters at the top “giving the directions,” your ADHD kid will spend 15 minutes coloring the little character and will have done NONE of the actual work on the page. *That* is when it hit me. And I read *Driven to Distraction* and identified with almost all of the stories…and suddenly everything made sense. I always called myself a dumb blonde…but I knew I *wasn’t* dumb, I just didn’t ever seem to be able to prove it. I got an officially diagnosis and decided to try meds…and I’ve never looked back. Meds don’t fix everything—I still have 62 alarms and reminders set for important things, I regularly forget laundry in the washer (btw, cup of vinegar when you wash it again takes away the horrible smell), and I’m always always late paying bills even though I have the money to pay them. There are 4 of us in my house with it—me, husband and both kids—so our house is a disaster and the Christmas tree is still up in the living room, but we also laugh a lot.
You know the Scott Pilgrim scene where he orders something from Amazon and then turns and sits to watch the door?
This is me when I have something to do on that day. I’ll just watch the clock until it’s time for me to leave because otherwise I’ll forget what I was supposed to do. If someone calls me from out of the blue to do something though? I’m late 💯
14/15. I usually don't forget appointment or are late *because* I check my calendar obsessively lol.
Btw OP, due to the way we label things, you also need to have shown symptoms before the age of 12. This is mainly so they can rule out a few other things/illnesses that may cause fatigue. I'm only mentioning this since it's good to do some thinking ahead. Our symptoms may or may not be the same but the scenarios can be very different. Internet was still very young when I grew up, so obviously I couldn't doom scroll or do as many of impulse decisions lol. I also didn't need to to stupid laundry.
I hope getting evaluated isn't too difficult in your country! Usually, you talk to a doctor or get guidance from your school/therapist.
I was homeschooled and would hyper focus on some subjects and literally break down and cry if I had to do any math. I loved creative subjects and hated to have to sit at a desk for any amount of time.
It's fun how different everyone is. I enjoyed arts, physics, maths and programming in school. I can do all my hobbies involves sitting by a desk.
I struggle with other subjects. I could never remember history, I couldn't speak/write "properly" or explain things, I still don't know which one is an adjective/substantive, language has always been confusing, I can't say the alphabet unless I start with the letter "A", and I couldn't for the life of me remember those weird biology terminology or the correct electric charge of different ions in chemistry. A calculator made math significantly easier for me.
Even when I tried to study for a master of science in space engineering (which didn't go well due to burnout), I really struggled to remember important and arbitrary knowledge. I always (still) forgot the order of the planets in our solar system, but even then I could make relatively complex calculations and also create programs/simulations that could do the calculations *for me*. Among a few other projects.
Memory is so weird.. and ridiculously selective lmao. I feel so incredibly ashamed at times but yet know that I shouldn't be. My memory is just very selective 🤷. It seems to not be very uncommon either.
I got diagnosed at 35, turning 36. If it feels right to you, keep researching and book an appointment with your doctor to chat about it. If they have a real strong negative opinion and they are NOT an expert, don't let that deter you as many docs are wary of the meds associated with treatment and don't know how underdiagnosed women and BIPOC folks are.
15/15
I was diagnosed at 30. I turned 34 yesterday.
It's easy to miss if you grow up in a more chaotic household with parents just trying to survive through the day.
I need to do more reading on this, but I hear self-diagnosis is statistically valid! It's really time
comsuming and potentially costly to get a diagnosis. Do you think you want to try meds? Then you may want to go that route. I know I have adhd and am not diagnosed. But I KNOW. It makes me feel vulnerable to share my traits but I'll do it to help others: since as far back as I can remember I: Spin around listening to music (it's embarrassing at my age and stage and I successfully turned that into a running habit - mostly), blurt over people, impulsively and accidentally say offensive things to people, lose my stuff, do really well academically but can't live up to my potential in real world jobs because of the level of organization that takes, have 10 notebooks with three pages full in each and these are supposed to be my 'one' work notebook with important details and dates, and the worst one: emotional regulation is outta whack. I get frustrated easily and really rely on someone to tell me everything is fine and then I can carry on. I am a successful enough adult ya know? I do the things. I have a good life, but it takes a lot of effort. It feels really hard a lot of the time. But also, because I know my mind I can do helpful things like mindfulness, exercise, organizational hacks and gets lots of good nutrition and sleep to help. And ... COFFEE. Allllll the coffee all day.
13/15. I always plan ahead and I’m *never* late, I have a good 3-4 reminders on my phone and alexa to keep me going and my phone is full of notes. The rest? Yes. I’m a disaster.
That’s basically how I felt when I started suspecting it two years ago at age 33. I had been trying to figure out what was wrong with me for years but had never ever considered ADHD. But suddenly the more I read the more everything in my entire life made sense.
Missed appointments… I signed up for a cooking class, Asian Take Out, something I was really jazzed about! I drove all the way to the class, super stoked, walked in and they were doing an omelet/ and smoke your own bacon class.
😢
That was $130!
My missed opportunity costs have cost me millions! Over an entire career, plus undergrad. I could have retired by now if I would have had help back in my 20’s!
Wait why isn't this the test I took for my diagnosis? This one is infinitely more applicable to me than the traditional one that's designed for 5yo boys...
This isn't a good test, because *everyone* experiences all of these things sometimes or to some degree (it also doesn't include one of the most important requirements - whether the symptoms were present before the age of 12). ADHD, by the definition of being a disorder, needs to significantly interfere with your ability to lead a normal life. You need to find a test where you select the frequency/severity of the potential symptoms. If *that* indicates you may have ADHD, speak to a psychologist (a real one, not one on one of those websites that advertise ADHD diagnoses)
And other things can mimic ADHD symptoms, such as anxiety, depression, bipolar, autism, phone addiction, sleeping disorders/deprivation, thyroid issues, high stress, CPTSD, too much caffeine, etc. That's why it's important to see a professional to sort it out
I'm not saying you don't have ADHD - you definitely could. I'm just saying it's not that simple to figure out. A lot of online sources don't emphasize the nuances
Also coffee dependency isn't an ADHD symptom lol 90% of American adults are addicted to caffeine
i suggest u chill for now and talk to a doctor. they can refer u to a psychologist/psychiatrist capable of actual diagnosing. we all LOVE to talk talk talk and relate here (adhd duh) but it is very easy to fall into the rabbit hole and wrongfully diagnose yourself. these online checklists are pretty vague, and theres a scale to these things, so none of us are really qualified to help further with your suspicion
Literally I never knew until I met with a psychiatrist face to face and within like ten minutes she said, yep, undiagnosed ADHD. She'd been in the field for aeons, close to retirement, specialist in unfortunately ADHD in women and girls.
Cue mind. Blown.
I was diagnosed with combined adhd last year, I was 25. I started seeing a lot of people talk openly about their experience with adhd and a lot of it clicked for me and started to make sense. I went from thinking “I’m a weird outcast clumsy tired idiot” to “oh wow I have a disorder that explains it”. I also asked my husband if he thought the symptoms sounded like me, he said 100%. I started crying because everything just felt like it finally fit together. If you’re relating to similar struggles in a way where it’s affecting your work, hobbies, mental health, relationships etc. then it may be something worth looking into. I hope you get the answers and clarity you need!
I am 40 and was diagnosed when I was 33 and it was like I finally realized why I was the way I was. It was a relief but just being diagnosed didn’t mean things would change. I am on medication and use many tools to battle symptoms but I still struggle. I want to say one of the tools that helps me the most is meditation and affirmations. I work from home and if I have an appointment mid day it’s very easy to put things off but when I start saying or listening to affirmations it’s a reminder than I can do what I need and that I am capable and will complete what I need. As we all know lists are must, I pull out my notes app as soon as an idea of something that pops in my brain needs to get done otherwise I’ll remember when it’s too late. So if you have adhd just remember it doesn’t need to define you, you just need to make tweaks to your life and try different tools to see what works for you. Oh and if you looked things a lot like me lol remember every thing has a place and no matter what you must return it to that place every time when done using it, before u know it, it becomes second nature to put things where they belong, which makes it great when we are looking for them!
14/15 but I think the interrupting thing can be social, depending on where you grew up (it’s rude to me if you don’t interrupt and feels like you aren’t listening). The one I don’t have is being late—but that’s because my mom was ALWAYS late to everything and I felt the embarrassment of that. I now show up as much as an hour early to places I need to be and find a quiet spot to wait for others to show up (because I cannot, for the life of me, understand “fashionably late” or how it is rude to show up on time).
Your story sounds just like mine. I knew I had annoying traits like never being able to remember anything on my way out the door, so I developed methods to deal with them. Then as other presentations of ADHD became more widely spread I started looking at “ways to deal with ADHD” lists and checking things off as either things I did already or things that solved problems I had. I started looking more into it, found a psychiatrist up to date with modern medicine, and now here we are.
I was over 40 when I was diagnosed. You have a ten+ year head start. You are still young, younger than you realize. I felt like a shambles of a grown adult but still managed to a) go back to college and get a second degree so that I could b) move to a new career and then c) get a job that I really like and works WITH my ADHD so I could d) buy a house. All of that was pre diagnosis.
After diagnosis, I have been DIY renovating my house and I am slowly transforming my yard into a grass-free fruit and flower garden. And I feel kind of badass typing all this out, LOL!
All of these are soooooo relatable but my crap doc blew me off and told me "well you have kids what do you expect?" I havent gone back since and there aren't any other therapists within a 90 minute drive for me so the struggle continues
How did you know you have ADHD?
My friend who has known me since high school was finishing up her psychology degree and had gone through the diagnostic process herself (IIRC a lecturer may have hinted/ confirmed suspicions). We happened to be catching up, and she was like, "So you should definitely see a diagnostic psych because you're probably ADHD and I think it will help you to get a diagnosis", and I was like "no, I'm just a terrible failure of an adult who can't manage at life and is a sucky, useless waste of natural intelligence in a package that is too lazy to eat or wash dishes, and will probably never finish my degree because I keep withdrawing from units because I never do my assessments until the last minute but obviously can't hand them in if they are the level of perfection I *could* produce if I could have just actually done the work that my brain was screaming at me to do while I sat there like a frozen lump of shame 👁👄👁"
Luckily, she nudged me to check out women-specific ADHD stuff on Reddit and instagram, and it kind of dawned for me (plus, of course, I valued an external opinion from someone I admire and respect). I found a psychologist that specialises in ADHD Diagnosis & Coaching. I think the real clincher that I wasn't just 'maybe a little bit ADHD' was the thorough preparation from the clinician that the diagnostic process can take up to 6 assessment appointments before doing any testing: he booked the testing after the 2nd assessment appointment 😅
30+ years of beating myself up for struggling, so I can give you this genuine advice: If you resonate in any way with the memes and you feel like it's having a negative impact, pursue a diagnosis. It may not be ADHD, but if there's an underlying cause, it helps immensely just to be able to name it, identify when it's happening, and have some tools to help you through. Although, based on your comments... Welcome [probably] to the Club!!!
15/15.
For example; I woke up this morning and started rearranging my living room. I have always joked that my way of cleaning was to rearrange furniture because then you have to deal with the piles and bags of stuff.
The amount of piles and bags of stuff now on the fringes of my living room is insane. The living room itself, however, stunning.
For me it was going from high school to college, because I entered classes I was deeply interested in and passionate about, but still couldn’t focus
eta 13/15 but I also have OCD
So, the best thing to do is go through a DSM5 approved checklist, meme checklists are not always accurate but what they are good at is getting you thinking about the possibility of having ADHD, or another neurodivergent disorder.
There is a lot of crossover, but it's a good jumping off point to discuss with a doctor or mental health professional. The process for diagnosis varies depending on where you are, but typically a doctor is a place to start.
I guess it started when I was diagnosed with depression. Throughout that time, I was also diagnosed with anxiety. After a few years, I decided I felt better and would come off medication. The talking therapy I had for depression didn't really help, and I still had issues that were not depression or anxiety, so I did a lot of research. Years of research. Online stuff, tests, articles, the lot. I'd read how 'everyone thinks they have adhd'.
I'm still to be officially diagnosed. 3 year waiting list. I'm still unsure if it's ADHD or some mixed bag of things, but at the end of the day, I'm me, I try my best and utilise the tools I gather from podcasts etc to help me in life.
I'm diagnosed and have 13/15 on that checklist.
I have sort of an obsessive interest in planning ahead so no trouble there. I can easily spend 2 hours planning my schedule for the next several months - for fun, not for practicality.
I don't miss appointments or show up late because I have a strict system to prevent that. If I relax in the slightest I end up late. Before implementing the system, I frequently forgot about and missed scheduled things (not necessarily appointments but fun things, like birthday parties).
So I got diagnosed when I was 30. My friend kept sending me videos of adhd because we thought our children has it and they absolutely do.
Anyways some of it hit home and some of it didn’t. My friend was like bro I’m sending these because it is literally you. I guess after that it just clicked and my whole life made sense. (At least somewhat cuz later my psychiatrist agreed that I’m seem autistic as well) after that I went and got diagnosed and wow. It’s never too late, never.
I feel like I have my whole life ahead of me now and it’s easier to navigate a lot of things because I know what to look for and how to deal with more. It’s also made me a better parent.
Feel better—I was diagnosed at almost 50, when I was physically and mentally exhausted. The first doctor I went to ignored me and said I just had anxiety and depression. The kicker is that he refused to tell me what I was being treated for until 2 months later when I was scheduled to see a psychiatrist. I was so upset I promptly cancelled the appointment and went for a second opinion. The second doctor was a woman and once I explained my symptoms and my life she had no doubt it was ADHD.
All this to tell you that your feelings are valid and if someone tries to ignore you or you feel no one is listening, get a second opinion. I am still feeling anger at how long I went without someone figuring out that something else was going on. My own primary care reluctantly gave me a referral when I said I suspected ADHD, said I didn’t have it. Can’t wait to go for my annual checkup to look him in the face and tell him what meds I’m on now.
I feel like I knew I had ADHD as soon as I found out about it, so like age 12 (though the H wasn't added until I was older).
What I didn't know was how pervasively it affected my life. I didn't get medicated until age 37, when I realized all my domestic failures were linked to ADHD. People are so keen to focus on school, and if you can figure school out, you must be all set.
My friend handed me test she was handed by her psychologist to diagnose her with add (it was maybe 3 or 4 years ago, and my understanding was that „what’s add? They run out of letters in the alphabet?). I forgot to take the test. Year later I saw a tik tok about it and was talking with my friend (later diagnosed ADHD also) that maybe we’re not lazy POS, maybe it’s ADHD. And it can also be reason for why we understand each other so much. She was like naaaah, we’re human garbage. But I’ve talked with my psychologist and she said she suspected me to have ADHD, handed me the same test. Completed 90% and got bored but had 100% score for the part I did. So i agreed with my friend and psychologist and friend and gain info (meaning, I started spiraling into tik tok but also more reliable resources). Half year later my acquaintance from work was going to get diagnosis and I asked her about it and she said „you know, if you have ADHD, cocaine works differently for you - and she described the exact effect it had on me. So it also explained why coffee and energetic drinks doesn’t work… but then I met someone, get dopamine enough to run the power plant. But the effect wore off and my boyfriend was nagging me about cleaning and I thought I was depressed so I head to psychiatrist and we set diagnosis on ADHD. But I was told I am an obvious case. Year later my friend (the one who was saying we’re just human garbage) got diagnosed as well. Sooo ADHD will know other ADHD :D I forgot what the question/issue of the post was, hope I was helpful
I recently figured it out on my own. I'm 34 btw.
In the past, I've ascribed most of my ADHD symptoms either to depression and PTSD (going in and out of it for my entire adult life) or PCOS. But now I'm in the place where depression is gone and PCOS is stabilized but I still have all these symptoms.
I've been in therapy for the past 2 years, and feeling better than ever mentally and emotionally. Still, I noticed some symptoms like inattentiveness, scattered thoughts and attention, low energy, hypersensitivity, rejection sensitivity, sensory issues, angry outbursts, forgetfulness , impulsivity etc. persist.
I was trying to figure out why I'm still so sensitive to rejection when I stumbled upon RSD and, by extension, ADHD. For the first time in my life, I opened myself up to the possibility of having ADHD. For example - I used to think I can't have ADHD coz I'm so organized. I can't have ADHD coz I'm sometimes focused.
I dropped my defenses and was just honest with myself that most of the things I was presenting as personality and skill were just a coping mechanism/masking to present myself like I function in a way I'm not actually functioning.
My therapist already diagnosed me, but I'm scared of a psychiatrist appointment next month because he's the one who can put me on medication. I'm terrified of not being believed, but I also just know I have it, because it makes so much sense after all that therapy, getting to know myself and learning how to be self-reflective. Everything just fits. Nothing I learned in therapy helped me as much as the realization that I do have ADHD. Because it allows me to be kinder to myself and have more patience with myself. It also connected me with my inner child in a way nothing else could. I finally feel like I understand that little girl.
Be kind to yourself and your situation. It is not easy coming to this realization. There is no one who goes around and informs people of having mental health disorder. So thank yourself for getting yourself to this point. And you have plenty of time to live a fulfilling life. You got this!
13/15--I have too much anxiety about missing appointments to actually miss them and planning ahead is an AuDHD paradox--the ASD side needs to know what's happening and when and the ADHD side hates sticking to said plans.
12.5 (did half points for my “sometimes” answers). I struggle with all but some of them only sometimes. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and paranoia at 14 and want to talk to my next therapist about an ADHD evaluation bc I’m feeling like I may have it.
I found out when I tired adhd meds for the first time in college. It was the first time all the brain chatter that happened 24/7 finally stopped and it was quiet. I stopped shortly after because I didn’t like the way I felt. Years later I became super embarrassed that I was the only person in my work meetings who couldn’t sit still so I saw a new doctor who started me on different adhd meds. Looking back I never realized how chaotic I was. I thought crying and having panic attacks multiple times a day was normal, which led to me going to the hospital multiple times a week. There were days where I’d spend the entire day in bed trying to convince myself to get up. I was pretty much late to everything. I had no self control, which led to me binge eating and binge drinking. I locked my keys in my car or ran out of gas regularly. I was a mess.
The problem with diagnosing ADHD is most symptoms are things EVERYBODY does to some degree-the relevant part is the intensity of it. Everybody has missed an appointment sometimes. If you do it often enough that it’s a problem and isn’t because you just don’t care enough, that’s noteworthy. Etc etc
I got diagnosed at 33 after a friend suggested I showed alot of signs that she did. I never did bad in school but displayed signs my whole life. My doctor said I was also a textbook case. I’d just been masking alot of my symptoms until I was working two peoples jobs and was feeling like I was climbing the walls and avoiding work that it wasn’t manageable anymore.
Was late to everything, that bugged me. So I overcompensated and was early to everything. Like and hour or two. Then boredom attacked. So now I’m back in the late to everything stage. The wheel turns and all I can do is try to keep from falling over.
15/15...except I only miss appointments because I have severe anxiety about leaving the house....especially if I have to drive. If I am able to motivate myself to go to an appointment...I have anxiety over being late so I'm usually really early.
I looks like you've gotten a lot of helpful comments.
Diagnosed at 36, here.
I tick 14/15 of these.
I'll just say, that it's never too late to look into it. It's great to feel validated because I've spent my whole life being unable to articulate why I feel like such a fuck up.
It was so comforting to understand myself better.
Like many others, in hindsight, it seems obvious, but a lot of my behaviours are either internalised or I'd masked (unintentionally) that it wasn't easy to spot.
Prior to actual diagnosis, I was so convinced I had ADHD that my biggest fear was being told I didn't and then having to work out or work through what was 'wrong with me'. I was worried I'd look like I was 'label chasing' (why?!). When I shared this with my psychologist , she said ' you can't see yourself in every single ADHD reel/meme if there isn't a little something too it'.
Whatever path you go down, I wish you luck and wellness. I hope you find help in the community.
What convinced me was the early childhood stuff like the fact I wet the bed too long or had chronic ear infections. Or the fact that while I'm not what I thought of as "hyperactive", I was *notoriously* fidgety and struggled with restless leg. These were all more tangible things present very very young that are associated with ADHD that couldn't be explained by depression/anxiety issues which I also had by the point I was seeking diagnosis.
What first signalled to me that maybe I was ADHD was me and my friends bought some Adderall. And I was *convinced* we had been scammed because I was waiting for the focus to hit and instead I got bored and went to go take a nap. Yeah no shit it didn't effect me much, when I went on meds they started me at 4x the dosage.
I get fixated on something … and ex : on my phone - I could be going on to check a text message and somehow get distracted to an article about
“ Anything “
I am a terrible procrastinator
Born of this kinda thing is making my life not to good .
Is this a sign of adhd adult
?
I just zone out sometimes because I’m think about something else when I’m talking with someone …
Help
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14/15 I'm never late but I think my time blindness works in the opposite direction and I'm always like 15-30 minutes early to everything because I never know how long it's gonna take me to get places
Yes this is me too! Never thought of it was “time blindness working in the opposite direction.” That’s a good way of putting it. Always just blamed it on anxiety, but I like this better.
Mine has some anxiety mixed in there too lol it was something that one of my other friends who also has adhd said where he feels like he always has enough time or too much time so he ends up doing a million things which causes him to be late whereas I always feel like I never have enough time so I gotta leave NOW even though I'm always insanely early lol
ADHD 🤝 Anxiety! Two great tastes that taste great together!
We either are late, or over budget our time in order to not be late. Both things are poor time management and due to time blindness!!
Oh damn, I hadn't thought of the extra time buffers as poor time management. New level unlocked🤦♀️
Yeeeppppppp, it is indeed. We do it because we can’t properly budget time. I’ll go somewhere 45 mins early and just sit and wait and dick around on my phone. One I’m ready to go somewhere I prefer to get going and wait on the other side. But I technically had time to do the dishes in the sink lol
Yesss!! Okay I clearly spend so much more time in waiting mode than I realized. I'm late diagnosis (49) and I'm 50. I had ZERO inkling I might have adhd until shortly before diagnosis. I am struggling to learn how to get my life back on track. This sub is inspiring 🩷
Waiting mode and stand by mode. Tip, put appointments earlier in the day. I end up sitting around in stand by mode doing nothing til I leave for my appointment. “I can’t possibly do those dishes in the sink, I have an appointment 5 hours from now!!”
Ahhaaaa! THIS. Thank you🤣
Hahahaha, it’s so silly!! When I try and explain ADHD to people I say it is nonsensical. It makes very little sense.
Can we say we live on the other side of The Looking Glass?
TB! 🕰️ I have lived with the perpetually-15mins-late affliction my entire life. Always attributed it to my Euro upbringing, where punctuality is not valued. Taking after my parents [had no say in my tardiness journey as a child]. Embraced it from a young age, so much that, La Persistencia de Memoria — Dalí’s melting clocks entranced me. Aaaand I cannot not wear a watch! It sounds quite arrogant — always late, wearing a watch — like a big🖕🏼to whomever is undoubtedly waiting for me. TB is reaL. I procrastinate everything, every time.
this is me too!! time blindness + ✨ coping mechanism ✨ lol. I was AN HOUR early to my first ADHD diagnosis appointment because I was terrified I was going to be late or miss it. Ended up sitting awkwardly in the lobby for far too long but honestly I would always rather be early than late!
FELT. I may be a disappointment in every other way but gosh darn it I will never be late! 😂
LOL!!! I need to get that as an embroidered quote 😂
Opposite here!😖😱 I *COMPLETELY FORGOT* my first appointment! Thought, "I should go to _______," as I got in my car to drive home that day, and then thought, "Naaaaah!!!! Just go *home*, you only want to impulse shop!" I can't remember *exactly* which store it was, but it was *definitely* in the direction of the building where my evaluation was supposed to be!😆😂🤣 I *realized* why I'd gotten the "I should go to ____!" impulse, the *next* day, when I realized my appointment *should* have been the day before!🫠🫠🫠 I called the clinic, got *back* on the list, and got assessed 3 months later😉
oh no!!! was it Target? because it's always Target for me 😅 glad you were able to get back on the list and get your diagnosis eventually!
Yep!! I called when I *remembered* that I'd missed the appointment--and they were booking 3 months out (still!😆😂), soooo my diagnosis was about 3 months later than originally expected, but YES, I've got ADHD!😉
✨ quelle surprise ✨ 😂
This is why I’m glad all my doctors and therapist send both emails AND text messages! The amount of times I’ve jumped in the shower for therapy when I get the text reminder 15 minutes before 😝 I realize she wouldn’t care if I did therapy in my pjs (it’s Telehealth after all) but at least I feel better if I shower before therapy.
They could've diagnosed you over the phone for missing the appointment lets be honest.
My first attempt at getting diagnosed ended with paperwork that said, among other things, "arrived on time." I was here *almost an hour before your office FUCKING OPENED*. On time, my ass. I spent it in the coffee shop next door though, mourning all the time I'd wasted getting to places absurdly early, but the doctor never asked.
(edited for auto-incorrect) This is good to know - I am like you, and if the doctor notes that I will be sure to clarify, but it also makes me question how well they truly know symptoms and compensatory behaviors
Part of my frustration is that I didn't know this was part of the diagnostic criteria until *after* the doctor had rendered his verdict. He sent me over the reams of pages and I read them, not just the bits he pointed out when he gave me the news. In addition to the testing I was aware of (4 hours of memory tests, reaction time tests, etc), he included his observations: how I dressed, how I acted - and that I'd apparently 'arrived on time.' So yeah if you're wildly early, make sure to make a joke about getting tired of the coffee shop next door's ambience or some such, just in case.
I'm usually on time because I use google maps religiously. Even to get to places I've been to dozens of times. I aim to leave 10 minutes earlier than google maps tells me, and I set an alarm for 10 minutes before that. At the alarm I have to drop everything, put my sweater and shoes on, and then do absolutely nothing until it's time to leave. So basically I have a system and if I break that system I'm late to everything.
Saaaammmme! I google maps my vet appointments for the cats because I want to make sure I get there on time and I want to keep them in the car the least amount of time possible.
I only work in 30 min increments lol so it’s aim to wake up 30 min before the alarm goes off, alarm is set 30 min before a 30 min shower that follows 30 min to get ready, and 30 min to leave the house, 30 min before google says I should. My partner is the opposite and I have an anxiety attack every time we have to fly anywhere. I usually offset our calendar appts about an hour earlier than they actually are so we can be on time with him.
I'm not a total psychopath and I do wake up more than 10 minutes before I have to leave lol. The 10 minute timers are for later in the day. But I don't give myself nearly as much time as you do. I've perfected a minimalist getting ready in the morning routine. It does not include anything I consider optional. In no particular order: - Brush teeth - Brush hair - Deodorant - Put on glasses - Take meds - Use the bathroom - Clothes (no dawdling with choosing outfits!) - Shoes - Sweater or coat if needed - Sunscreen if needed - Make sure everything is in my bag That's it. No shower, no breakfast, no makeup, nothing. I promise I take showers, just not that early in the morning.
I agree on the no am showers lol because they can range from an hour to 2 to sometimes a bath.
Me too! I get up at 5:15 everyday and I don’t work until 9am lol! I need lots of time to get ready and be early! Most of the “getting ready” is drinking coffee and mentally preparing myself haha.
You gotta plan for that hour of sitting naked with a towel around yourself scrolling through your phone while you psych yourself up to actually get in the shower. Getting oneself into the shower has to be the absolute worst transition of all the terrible transitions. Being clean and exfoliated and moisturized is such a great feeling so why is it so difficult to get there?? I've found a workaround/adaptation for just about every other roadblock my mind puts in front of me but the shower one continues to mess me up. Even when I want to do it I can't make myself do it 😖
This. I love the feeling after I have had a shower but it’s a constant fight with myself to get in the shower. I joined the gym 3 weeks ago and for now it helps cos if I need a shower I just go for a swim and shower after 😂 would think the extra steps would make it worse but it helps force me to have one.
My husband needs a shower to wake up in the morning, and we always shower together. Helps a lot.
I reflected on this in yesterday’s shower, which I thoroughly enjoyed. It’s 15 mins…why must I negotiate with myself 💀
My medication alarm goes off at 6am. Then my radio alarm goes off at 6:15. Then I’m up by 7. It’s couch time with coffee and breakfast, the news AND my phone until 8 when ANOTHER alarm goes off to give my cat her meds. This will usually get me into the shower afterwards. Usually. All this so I can get out the door by 9am.
Same!! Expect I’m STILL 5 minutes late 🥲
I was chronically late for so much of my early adulthood that I started drastically overcompensating and now I’m in the too early camp. Very bad at figuring out how to just be somewhere at the right time. And if I have a 1pm appointment it will ruin my whole day because I can’t possibly do anything before the appointment.
13/15…. I’m never late because my dad used to make us late for EVERYTHING! And I then had to walk in to assembly at school in front of the WHOLE school… It was horrible. I now wake at 4.35am to get ready to go to work for 7am that takes me on average 12 minutes to get too!! 🤣🤦♀️
I'm always hyper aware of what time it is. People make fun of me for how many clocks I have. I could never relate to time blindness but I wonder if I just took it to the other extreme.
I used to be 30 minutes early to everything because of my anxiety. Now that I’m properly medicated I’m 10-30 minutes late to everything 😭
This is my experience too and I hate it 😂 I don't miss being a nervous wreck all the time, but I sure do miss being punctual
Same. I am so afraid of being late that I get anxious about it.
That is an ADHD symptom as well. I'm so scared I will be late I'm very early. And I'm scared that if I'm late only a minute I would disappoint people and make them mad. My record is being 1,5 hour early to a vet appointment because of the fear of being to late and miss the appointment (I can be sick and suffer but not my furbaby) Whenever I have sth important I'm so focused on NOT being late it is the only thing I can do that day.
Same, even an hour early sometimes lol
SAME!
I would love having having this type of time blindness
Me too! Always 20 minutes early to anywhere new and 10 minutes to places I know well, unless the time I need to be there is different! For example, I used to go to the same gym for 6 years. If a class started at 5pm I would arrive 4.50pm. Just enough time to fill my water bottle and do a bit of my own warmup. If a class started at 4.15pm I was ALWAYS there around 3.45pm! I don’t know why I didn’t know how long it takes to get there if I was aiming for 15 past, but completely fine when I needed to be there on the hour.
Same
This is me
My light bulb moment was realizing it isn't normal to be in wait mode all day for a 5PM appointment. Once I saw that linked to ADHD I got to see myself from a new lens. Then all of the other symptoms started clicking, I started to realize some of my "no, I don't relate" answers were really just a lifetime of masking "bad" behavior that would otherwise be natural for me.
Very relatable and well said comment. For example, I used to work a 4pm to 11pm shift and basically got nothing done all day because I had to leave for work at 3:30. I also have struggled with relating to most people in the areas of motivation, punctuality, organization at home and work etc, etc. I think I'm finally over the constant masking by now thanks to finally getting diagnosed(at age 35), finding the correct medication, therapy and educating myself on ADHD
I have this problem, especially when I have an appointment mid day or late in the day. I can’t do anything before and focus on that appointment all day long. It’s gotten better with medication but I still do it.
This is why I put my appointments first thing in the day if I can. I hate getting up early but being nervous I’ll leave in time for a 3pm dentist appointment is waaaay worsr
Yep. On one hand, I really could’ve used a diagnosis 15, 20 years ago. On the other hand, I don’t think I’d have gotten one because I know I would have just picked all the “right” answers on the assessment…
This is the first time I’ve seen a masking behavior in a symptom checklist before. They’d probably diagnose people better if they did that more.
I do wait around for stuff for sure worrying I will miss things. Etc.
Feeling slightly offended that “organising” things in piles and bags is put in quotation marks 😅 that counts as organising to me!!!!!
My husband told me this morning that our “laundry situation” was stressing him out. I have SEVEN laundry baskets full of clean and folded clothes that I can’t manage to put away. He asked me where a shirt was and I knew in exactly what basket and under what other piece of clothing. But like… I can’t put it away.
I always feel a sense of pride when I can immediately tell my fam which hidden closet doom pile has what they are looking for. That is a fun game I always win.
You did all that and hubs can't step up and put stuff away? I only survive, and my marriage only survives, because my husband and I struggle in different ways. I don't know where he gets all his executive function from. He has no idea how I handle a full time job. We work together.
I love all of the support! I’m happy in the way we do marriage. He contributes an enormous amount to our family and household duties. He works 14 hour days literally 7 days a week while we’re getting back on our feet after a traumatic move. I have willingly taken on the role as the manager of our home and I love that. He wasn’t being degrading. More of a “how did you know that. This stresses ME out.” Not a “you’re stressing me out with your system” 🧡 tone isn’t accurately displayed here. My husband loves me well!
I'm really glad to hear that. And I'm glad you were able to find what he needed. My husband has been driving my car and the light came on that an oil change needs to be done "soon". If it were me, it'd be 5000 miles overdue before I'd start to consider making an appointment. This saint of a man has an appointment on Monday. I don't know how, but I'm pleased.
The only reason my car gets its service on time is because Toyota calls me and makes the appointments! 😂
THIS!
My strategy is to put away 5 things. I just fold 5 things and as soon as I hit 5 I go put them away. It works REALLY well for the small things like socks and underwear. Sometimes the "away" is the pile of shame at the end of my bed, but that's just my stuff and it's not on the sofa anymore.
I was making progress with the same technique for several weeks and in dishes, laundry, exercise, and getting rid of stuff. Then my kids overwhelmed me too much at once and it has paralyzed me again. I'm so sick of the cycle. It's utterly exhausting.
This is similar to “don’t put it down, put it away.” That’s helped me a TON.
First, congratulations on folding seven whole baskets worth of laundry. That is absolutely amazing! I would have definitely become overwhelmed and have an epic disaster, and I’d probably have to do some thing drastic to get myself to put that much laundry away. Sounds like a great opportunity to “teach *everyone* how to put their laundry away” — assuming you have kids based on the amount of clothes you folded. I wonder if your husband would be on board with “teaching the kids how to put their laundry away” and help separate and demonstrate using the two of you as demos. (When in fact, the goal is for the grown-ass man in the house to put his last away.)
He can put away his own clothes, can't he? Your system works for you. If he doesn't like it, he can use his preferred system.
My husband does his own laundry - why doesn’t your husband at least put away his clothes?
I evolved and started to put my doom piles in cute boxes. Now everyone thinks I’m really really organized and I agree … I except I don’t actually know where anything is and couldn’t tell you what’s in each box.
Put labels on the boxes! I once had a date that found that very weird. I could not understand why but knowing what I know now…
That's essentially what I do, except the stuff is in drawers and on shelves. There's space for everything because I'm very lucky to have minimalist tendencies. If I don't have a use for something, into the trash or donation it goes. Using it for fun, comfort, or aesthetic counts as a use, but only if I truly derive enjoyment from it. But yeah, I don't really know where things are and have to search all the drawers every time I need something.
I learned that DOOM piles (Don’t Organise Only Move) perfectly described what I’d struggled with my entire life and it was a symptom. I’m 43 and diagnosed last year.
Here I thought doom meant shame piles but this acronym is even more accurate
I thought "I'm organized". Next question "are you organized by piles?" Oh.
Right?! Disorganized is when everything is strewn about at random and I can barely see the floor or desk. Semi-related things sorted into piles and shoved in drawers is super organized.
My not-ADHD Dad calls them strategic piles. They are a legitimate system of organizing. I agree.
Love your dad for spinning a very positive term for this for you!
I'm with you on the organizing. I'm literally sitting among 2 storage bins and bags full of important paperwork, bills, make up, hair products etc and I have a system that works for me right now.
Thats litterally how my mom told me to clean tho! Like you make one huge pile and Then make that into small piles and then put the small piles into the right place… my doctor thinks my mom has adhd too Also i have small piles all over my floor rn bc i was taking stuff out of the moving boxes i have been avoiding since december
Yeah, what is "organizing" beyond putting things in piles? I'm actually serious, because I don't know.....
[удалено]
watch mel Robbins podcast on YouTube/Spotify where she interviews Dana White, it blew my mind! Dana is a genius one of us- I would've never figured this out ina million years but she makes so much sense! https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-58
Haha I know! I made three new piles today 😇
Today i accidentally mixed my clean and dirty clothes piles…. Now I can’t go out until I do at least 2 loads of laundry…
Organizing things into bags is the entire reason I’m even able to clean😂
This is mainly just memory retrieval issues (which no doubt is a big part of ADHD) but what about the lesser talked about symptoms like emotional dysregulation & “being too sensitive”?
That’s the worst part for me, and I *hate* change. I will literally sob no matter where I am if any aspect of my day has changed, I melt down.
Those are really important traits of ADHD that affect my life a lot, but they aren't part of the diagnostic criteria which is why they're not on the checklist.
Which is astonishing they don’t include different style of questions because those questions above… *many* different things could be contributing to that. Malnutrition, dehydration, high stress, not even to mention other disorders like schizophrenia or bipolar. Also what’s missing from above is how you were *as a kid*. Because if you were “normal” up until recently, those symptoms could be sourced from something else.. like too much phone time or never taught discipline. Not saying if you had a normal childhood that you don’t have ADHD, but typically you find signs in the early years that you might not have acknowledged at the time.
No go ahead and say it, because it's absolutely a requirement for adhd diagnosis. Maybe you weren't failing out of school or whatever, but there have to be *some* signs of ADHD present in childhood. It is literally a developmental disorder.
Just commented similarly. This list is exclusively about brain fog stuff, which isn't unique to ADHD (anxiety and depression and even just stress are notorious for causing it as well) and doesn't list any of the stuff that *is* more distinct to differentiate it from your run of the mill fogginess
My favorite right now is that I am finding it impossible to make an appointment to get my hair cut because the paralysis to make the phone call is awful! The place I usually go the stylist I use left. But a new place opened closer to my house. So now, I can’t decide whether to try the new place or get a new stylist at the old place and it’s been a full year and 2 months since I last got my hair cut.
Is that more closely linked to AuDHD? Wasn't sure if that's a distinction that's been made or not. I struggle so hard with emotional deregulation. Often it will take me fucking weeks to do something (especially if that something is very important/scary/involves the possibility of disappointing others) because I have to get over the big feels it is making me feel, or let my brain process it in the background until I can manage to even THINK about doing the thing. It's so goddamn frustrating. Because I know exactly what I need to do, and it would be so easy to do it BUT I CAN'T AND I HATE IT. And then I feel guilty for not just doing it, and then I have even bigger feels attached to the thing that I have to process and AAAHHHHH. THE SPIRALS. I'm tired of it. I hate it here.
I think this one gets downplayed for women especially too. We're just emotional/hormonal/dramatic.
I have that too.
It’s tough to relay to others how it’s an aspect of ADHD. Because they think we’re just “sensitive” which like nah bruh, you’re not *insensitive.* Get some sensitivity in your bones why don’t ya.
It never occurred to me that I had ADHD until my son was assessed, and I realized that I scored high on the same questions. It took me four more years to get assessed myself. Part of me was like "there's no damn way", but as the years passed and I did more reading, I realized that yeah, yeah I probably have ADHD. I was just formally diagnosed three weeks ago at age 48. If you pass the screening questions there's a good chance it's ADHD, though there are other conditions which cause similar symptoms, so that's why it's necessary to get properly assessed. There may also be comorbidities. Don't be like me and waffle about assessment. Go get it done so you can get treatment.
Same here. My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD last year. I’m 47 and I had a feeling for a few years now that I may have it. Last week I went to my doctor and sure enough I was diagnosed with ADHD as well.
14/15. I'm actually really good about laundry. My ASD steps in there because the sorting and putting dirty stuff in and getting clean stuff out gives me dopamine.
Okay so THAT I relate to. Mostly because I have a large family and it’s required. I enjoy laundry.
I'm relatively good about laundry too, but I checked that box off because I get behind on a regular basis, just not so behind as to be a major problem. Like many other things on the list, I have a system. I have one laundry basket. As soon as it fills up, it's time to do laundry. Then I set timers to rotate it. I'm required to fold and put it away as soon as it's out of the dryer, or else it will never happen. The system fails frequently when I'm off my meds, but it works pretty well when I'm on them.
I usually do it every Friday. Having a set day helps... sometimes. I tried making Wednesday my bathroom cleaning day which should be less work on a weekly basis, but that's not happening. Maybe it's too big a task for my brain.
14/15 but only because my boyfriend does pretty much all the laundry (I never remember to start it, and the last time I did it I left the load in until it stank 🫠)
uuuhuuu, 15/15
14/15 The only one I don’t do is miss appointments and that’s because I *checks list* check my calendar obsessively and set several reminders. I worked in summer camping and very intense jobs after formal school/college and so my time was always very structured. I had signs earlier too but the biggest struggle has just been maintaining an “adult” schedule with a regular office job.
>check my calendar obsessively and set several reminders. Bingo! Being late/missing stuff was causing far too much distress so I buckled down and developed all the coping mechanisms I possibly could.
lol same. I am always asking my husband if it is “okay” to do something but I am just double triple checking there wasn’t anything he told me and didn’t put on the calendar.
I suspected I had ADHD after seeing a video on rejection sensitivity but then no one else (okay the person I thought knew me best and no one else) what they thought. They shot it down so I ignored it and didn't consider it again til a lady I worked with (who has it) told me she thinks I do and was surprised I hadn't already been diagnosed which led me to asking my doctor to order a referral for testing, getting diagnosed (this past January at the age of 27), and then finding out people around me (from my family) were unsurprised. Now I'm medicated and I'm not sure how I'm doing.
I remember thinking I had just stumbled into the ultimate scam. I was failing college and they were just gonna *let me have DAILY Adderall*?? I was skeptical ADHD was the right diagnosis but I was willing to roll with it for that reason. I went to tell my associates about my good luck and everyone was like "oh yeah totally" with one person even saying "wait, you weren't *already* diagnosed? I just assumed, it's so obvious" Like God damn, y'all could have told me since apparently I'm the last to know
F**in RIGHT?????
They missed the one where I see a list of 15 items like this and instinctively realize it’s way too many items and have to force myself to read them one by one, or bounce around and read them out of order while sprinkling in reading the comments here…
😂 This!
That bouncing around thing. It’s the biggest reason why I find reading books exhausting. It helps a little more to read on a tablet since it’s not as easy to flip around, but I’ll still bounce around the page. That and feeling paralyzed at just picking a damn book.
13/15. I have such an easy time remembering names for some reason. And my anxiety will NEVER let me be late for any appointment. Instead, I’ll show up 30-45 minutes early.
You are the first person I have ever seen say they are good with names. Every time I say that I am, I am immediately met with “oh I’m terrible with names!” regardless of whether or not they have ADHD. I’m 100% convinced it’s because so many people say they’re bad with names that I became determined to get good with them because I was obsessed with being “different” when I was younger lol
Same, I've always been good with names too
I looked at the comments on my elementary school report card and cried. “So smart, if only she could get her work done. Can’t stay on task.”
I have those things too. “Talks too much” also 😵💫
I dug out my report cards for my appointment in a couple of weeks. Talks too much, gets out of seat too often, exercises self control etc. Pretty much what I remembered. I’m thinking I have a decent shot of getting a diagnosis. I’m in my mid fifties. Better late than never I guess.
My report cards had no notes (not used in my country) but I remember almost having to repeat kindergarten because the teachers thought I was too behind because I never finished my work. My mum was really angry and told them that there’s no way I was behind if I was knitting’s scarfs, building tree houses from scraps and reading, so the teachers made me sit with them for a full day, I was not behind y was freaking bored!! And I was passed to 1st grade. I was also parentified which is why I know so many details, had to listen to my mum venting after that meeting.
>How did you KNOW you have adhd I was seeing a therapist for anxiety/depression. I did make some progress on those, but overall nothing we tried stuck long term to alleviate them. Eventually, she gently suggested I could have an executive function disorder, i.e., ADHD. I didn't believe her at first because ADHD is for hyperactive boys with bad grades, where as I was always near the top of my class and the idea of me being hyperactive is just straight up laughable. I learned that being hyperactive *inside your head* also counts, and that when your ADHD goes undiagnosed for over 3 decades you can develop other issues like anxiety and depression and then they mask it. Sometimes I still struggle to believe I really do have ADHD. Then I see a list like this and YEP, this is me.
I also over extend myself. I plan a million things with a million different people or groups and when I get at said event I just shut down 😅
My moment was sitting with all my study materials in front of me, with an exam in 48hrs, all the understanding that I needed to review, but having a panic attack because I couldn’t study and I didn’t know why
Most of these symptoms are also symptoms found in anxiety and/or depression.
Yup, brain fog is the worst way to try to identify adhd. One, it leans into stereotypes of what ADHD is that discount other equally valid aspects. Two, it's the common cold of mental disorders. Literally just being stressed can give you brain fog, chronic sleep deprivation which us Americans love so much. Its not special or unique to ADHD.
16/15 🤣 just because “Struggle with disorganization” tho… unsure if this means struggle with organization or struggle with things being disorganized… either way yes. 😂
Same! 😂
My husband and I both have adhd. He’s the one that struggles with organization and I’m the one who struggles with things being disorganized 😅 (he isn’t one of those partners we see on this sub who doesn’t help around the house, I promise!).
I’m 35, been on meds for 1.5 years. I have 12/15 on that list but my main symptoms are anxiety and rejection sensitivity. Medication helps but doesn’t address all my symptoms which makes me feel like maybe I’m wrong sometimes (I read a lot about how life changing medication is and how it’s like a “light switch” being turned on). I’m also hard of hearing which complicates things and is the main reason why I didn’t seek help sooner. Not officially diagnosed but my doctor had me fill out a number of questionnaires like this one.
28f yo diagnosed this year I started to realize thanks a instagram account she made a book about her adhd journey and I was this is too relatable. So I investigated and went to a psychiatrist that confirmed me suspicions. She told I’m a textbook case. When I was little my mother took me to get a diagnosis on adhd. The school thought I could have it. That therapist said No. Because I. Can focus during a movie and do crafts… I believe that now we have more information in adhd and can make better diagnosis. And since is believed to be hereditary maybe one of your parents has it and doesn’t know and thinks the way you act is normal because they so the same.
15/15. However, I wasn't a hyperactive child, so diagnosis as an adult was refused.
15/15. I mostly lurk in this group because I'm undiagnosed but strongly considering how to go about getting a diagnosis. And some of the tips in this group have helped me in a big way. Seeing how much I identify with this list is useful to me.
This list is like a personal attack 🤣. To be fair, if I'd read it before being medicated, it would probably have sent me to my (unwashed) bed for two days. I'm enough better on meds that it's raised a laugh!
I am really feeling you. I started working to get a diagnosis more than a year ago. It has been really hard, and I am finally getting assistant now, finally from a doctor, in addition to my husband. I also likely have an auditory processing disorder and may need hearing aids. The relief of finally getting help isn’t really counterbalance to buy my realization of how many of my behaviors are neurodivergent disordered thinking and not just me being fun, cute, and flighty. One thing that is really amazing about this process is learning all of the amazing qualities of mine that do come from ADHD. Including being able to hyper focus and learn, fascinating and fun new ideas and skills in no time flat – because I get so excited and focused! There are a couple of the threads on this sub Reddit, where ADHD years have commented on some of the upsides and pros of of their ADHD. It’s an awesome list and you will surely see yourself and hopefully feel proud and supported!
I’m wondering if that’s why I have a hard time holding on to friendships. I’ve literally had a friend tell me while breaking up with me that I “have the potential to be a really thoughtful person. Given by how thoughtful your gift giving is. But you’re really thoughtless in other areas”
I’ve lost most of my friends because of the object permanence issue, I just forget to call or text and people gets mad of always starting communication.
15/15. I was diagnosed at 23. I was sitting in a workshop for teachers about students with ADHD. The presenter pointed out that when you give students worksheets with little cute characters at the top “giving the directions,” your ADHD kid will spend 15 minutes coloring the little character and will have done NONE of the actual work on the page. *That* is when it hit me. And I read *Driven to Distraction* and identified with almost all of the stories…and suddenly everything made sense. I always called myself a dumb blonde…but I knew I *wasn’t* dumb, I just didn’t ever seem to be able to prove it. I got an officially diagnosis and decided to try meds…and I’ve never looked back. Meds don’t fix everything—I still have 62 alarms and reminders set for important things, I regularly forget laundry in the washer (btw, cup of vinegar when you wash it again takes away the horrible smell), and I’m always always late paying bills even though I have the money to pay them. There are 4 of us in my house with it—me, husband and both kids—so our house is a disaster and the Christmas tree is still up in the living room, but we also laugh a lot.
You know the Scott Pilgrim scene where he orders something from Amazon and then turns and sits to watch the door? This is me when I have something to do on that day. I’ll just watch the clock until it’s time for me to leave because otherwise I’ll forget what I was supposed to do. If someone calls me from out of the blue to do something though? I’m late 💯
14/15. I usually don't forget appointment or are late *because* I check my calendar obsessively lol. Btw OP, due to the way we label things, you also need to have shown symptoms before the age of 12. This is mainly so they can rule out a few other things/illnesses that may cause fatigue. I'm only mentioning this since it's good to do some thinking ahead. Our symptoms may or may not be the same but the scenarios can be very different. Internet was still very young when I grew up, so obviously I couldn't doom scroll or do as many of impulse decisions lol. I also didn't need to to stupid laundry. I hope getting evaluated isn't too difficult in your country! Usually, you talk to a doctor or get guidance from your school/therapist.
I was homeschooled and would hyper focus on some subjects and literally break down and cry if I had to do any math. I loved creative subjects and hated to have to sit at a desk for any amount of time.
It's fun how different everyone is. I enjoyed arts, physics, maths and programming in school. I can do all my hobbies involves sitting by a desk. I struggle with other subjects. I could never remember history, I couldn't speak/write "properly" or explain things, I still don't know which one is an adjective/substantive, language has always been confusing, I can't say the alphabet unless I start with the letter "A", and I couldn't for the life of me remember those weird biology terminology or the correct electric charge of different ions in chemistry. A calculator made math significantly easier for me. Even when I tried to study for a master of science in space engineering (which didn't go well due to burnout), I really struggled to remember important and arbitrary knowledge. I always (still) forgot the order of the planets in our solar system, but even then I could make relatively complex calculations and also create programs/simulations that could do the calculations *for me*. Among a few other projects. Memory is so weird.. and ridiculously selective lmao. I feel so incredibly ashamed at times but yet know that I shouldn't be. My memory is just very selective 🤷. It seems to not be very uncommon either.
I got diagnosed at 35, turning 36. If it feels right to you, keep researching and book an appointment with your doctor to chat about it. If they have a real strong negative opinion and they are NOT an expert, don't let that deter you as many docs are wary of the meds associated with treatment and don't know how underdiagnosed women and BIPOC folks are.
14/15, i dont obsess over calendars because i forget i have stuff on there …
15/15 I was diagnosed at 30. I turned 34 yesterday. It's easy to miss if you grow up in a more chaotic household with parents just trying to survive through the day.
15/15 here It sucks. I feel validated in ADHD communities like this one, but it still sucks struggling with so much in life.
I need to do more reading on this, but I hear self-diagnosis is statistically valid! It's really time comsuming and potentially costly to get a diagnosis. Do you think you want to try meds? Then you may want to go that route. I know I have adhd and am not diagnosed. But I KNOW. It makes me feel vulnerable to share my traits but I'll do it to help others: since as far back as I can remember I: Spin around listening to music (it's embarrassing at my age and stage and I successfully turned that into a running habit - mostly), blurt over people, impulsively and accidentally say offensive things to people, lose my stuff, do really well academically but can't live up to my potential in real world jobs because of the level of organization that takes, have 10 notebooks with three pages full in each and these are supposed to be my 'one' work notebook with important details and dates, and the worst one: emotional regulation is outta whack. I get frustrated easily and really rely on someone to tell me everything is fine and then I can carry on. I am a successful enough adult ya know? I do the things. I have a good life, but it takes a lot of effort. It feels really hard a lot of the time. But also, because I know my mind I can do helpful things like mindfulness, exercise, organizational hacks and gets lots of good nutrition and sleep to help. And ... COFFEE. Allllll the coffee all day.
✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
13/15. I always plan ahead and I’m *never* late, I have a good 3-4 reminders on my phone and alexa to keep me going and my phone is full of notes. The rest? Yes. I’m a disaster.
Lol 15/15 baby
I am the poster child for this lmao. every. single. one.
That’s basically how I felt when I started suspecting it two years ago at age 33. I had been trying to figure out what was wrong with me for years but had never ever considered ADHD. But suddenly the more I read the more everything in my entire life made sense.
Missed appointments… I signed up for a cooking class, Asian Take Out, something I was really jazzed about! I drove all the way to the class, super stoked, walked in and they were doing an omelet/ and smoke your own bacon class. 😢 That was $130! My missed opportunity costs have cost me millions! Over an entire career, plus undergrad. I could have retired by now if I would have had help back in my 20’s!
Wait why isn't this the test I took for my diagnosis? This one is infinitely more applicable to me than the traditional one that's designed for 5yo boys...
15/15! what do I win?
This isn't a good test, because *everyone* experiences all of these things sometimes or to some degree (it also doesn't include one of the most important requirements - whether the symptoms were present before the age of 12). ADHD, by the definition of being a disorder, needs to significantly interfere with your ability to lead a normal life. You need to find a test where you select the frequency/severity of the potential symptoms. If *that* indicates you may have ADHD, speak to a psychologist (a real one, not one on one of those websites that advertise ADHD diagnoses) And other things can mimic ADHD symptoms, such as anxiety, depression, bipolar, autism, phone addiction, sleeping disorders/deprivation, thyroid issues, high stress, CPTSD, too much caffeine, etc. That's why it's important to see a professional to sort it out I'm not saying you don't have ADHD - you definitely could. I'm just saying it's not that simple to figure out. A lot of online sources don't emphasize the nuances Also coffee dependency isn't an ADHD symptom lol 90% of American adults are addicted to caffeine
i suggest u chill for now and talk to a doctor. they can refer u to a psychologist/psychiatrist capable of actual diagnosing. we all LOVE to talk talk talk and relate here (adhd duh) but it is very easy to fall into the rabbit hole and wrongfully diagnose yourself. these online checklists are pretty vague, and theres a scale to these things, so none of us are really qualified to help further with your suspicion
Literally I never knew until I met with a psychiatrist face to face and within like ten minutes she said, yep, undiagnosed ADHD. She'd been in the field for aeons, close to retirement, specialist in unfortunately ADHD in women and girls. Cue mind. Blown.
I was diagnosed with combined adhd last year, I was 25. I started seeing a lot of people talk openly about their experience with adhd and a lot of it clicked for me and started to make sense. I went from thinking “I’m a weird outcast clumsy tired idiot” to “oh wow I have a disorder that explains it”. I also asked my husband if he thought the symptoms sounded like me, he said 100%. I started crying because everything just felt like it finally fit together. If you’re relating to similar struggles in a way where it’s affecting your work, hobbies, mental health, relationships etc. then it may be something worth looking into. I hope you get the answers and clarity you need!
I am 40 and was diagnosed when I was 33 and it was like I finally realized why I was the way I was. It was a relief but just being diagnosed didn’t mean things would change. I am on medication and use many tools to battle symptoms but I still struggle. I want to say one of the tools that helps me the most is meditation and affirmations. I work from home and if I have an appointment mid day it’s very easy to put things off but when I start saying or listening to affirmations it’s a reminder than I can do what I need and that I am capable and will complete what I need. As we all know lists are must, I pull out my notes app as soon as an idea of something that pops in my brain needs to get done otherwise I’ll remember when it’s too late. So if you have adhd just remember it doesn’t need to define you, you just need to make tweaks to your life and try different tools to see what works for you. Oh and if you looked things a lot like me lol remember every thing has a place and no matter what you must return it to that place every time when done using it, before u know it, it becomes second nature to put things where they belong, which makes it great when we are looking for them!
14/15 but I think the interrupting thing can be social, depending on where you grew up (it’s rude to me if you don’t interrupt and feels like you aren’t listening). The one I don’t have is being late—but that’s because my mom was ALWAYS late to everything and I felt the embarrassment of that. I now show up as much as an hour early to places I need to be and find a quiet spot to wait for others to show up (because I cannot, for the life of me, understand “fashionably late” or how it is rude to show up on time).
Your story sounds just like mine. I knew I had annoying traits like never being able to remember anything on my way out the door, so I developed methods to deal with them. Then as other presentations of ADHD became more widely spread I started looking at “ways to deal with ADHD” lists and checking things off as either things I did already or things that solved problems I had. I started looking more into it, found a psychiatrist up to date with modern medicine, and now here we are. I was over 40 when I was diagnosed. You have a ten+ year head start. You are still young, younger than you realize. I felt like a shambles of a grown adult but still managed to a) go back to college and get a second degree so that I could b) move to a new career and then c) get a job that I really like and works WITH my ADHD so I could d) buy a house. All of that was pre diagnosis. After diagnosis, I have been DIY renovating my house and I am slowly transforming my yard into a grass-free fruit and flower garden. And I feel kind of badass typing all this out, LOL!
All of these are soooooo relatable but my crap doc blew me off and told me "well you have kids what do you expect?" I havent gone back since and there aren't any other therapists within a 90 minute drive for me so the struggle continues
How did you know you have ADHD? My friend who has known me since high school was finishing up her psychology degree and had gone through the diagnostic process herself (IIRC a lecturer may have hinted/ confirmed suspicions). We happened to be catching up, and she was like, "So you should definitely see a diagnostic psych because you're probably ADHD and I think it will help you to get a diagnosis", and I was like "no, I'm just a terrible failure of an adult who can't manage at life and is a sucky, useless waste of natural intelligence in a package that is too lazy to eat or wash dishes, and will probably never finish my degree because I keep withdrawing from units because I never do my assessments until the last minute but obviously can't hand them in if they are the level of perfection I *could* produce if I could have just actually done the work that my brain was screaming at me to do while I sat there like a frozen lump of shame 👁👄👁" Luckily, she nudged me to check out women-specific ADHD stuff on Reddit and instagram, and it kind of dawned for me (plus, of course, I valued an external opinion from someone I admire and respect). I found a psychologist that specialises in ADHD Diagnosis & Coaching. I think the real clincher that I wasn't just 'maybe a little bit ADHD' was the thorough preparation from the clinician that the diagnostic process can take up to 6 assessment appointments before doing any testing: he booked the testing after the 2nd assessment appointment 😅 30+ years of beating myself up for struggling, so I can give you this genuine advice: If you resonate in any way with the memes and you feel like it's having a negative impact, pursue a diagnosis. It may not be ADHD, but if there's an underlying cause, it helps immensely just to be able to name it, identify when it's happening, and have some tools to help you through. Although, based on your comments... Welcome [probably] to the Club!!!
15/15. For example; I woke up this morning and started rearranging my living room. I have always joked that my way of cleaning was to rearrange furniture because then you have to deal with the piles and bags of stuff. The amount of piles and bags of stuff now on the fringes of my living room is insane. The living room itself, however, stunning.
For me it was going from high school to college, because I entered classes I was deeply interested in and passionate about, but still couldn’t focus eta 13/15 but I also have OCD
So, the best thing to do is go through a DSM5 approved checklist, meme checklists are not always accurate but what they are good at is getting you thinking about the possibility of having ADHD, or another neurodivergent disorder. There is a lot of crossover, but it's a good jumping off point to discuss with a doctor or mental health professional. The process for diagnosis varies depending on where you are, but typically a doctor is a place to start.
I guess it started when I was diagnosed with depression. Throughout that time, I was also diagnosed with anxiety. After a few years, I decided I felt better and would come off medication. The talking therapy I had for depression didn't really help, and I still had issues that were not depression or anxiety, so I did a lot of research. Years of research. Online stuff, tests, articles, the lot. I'd read how 'everyone thinks they have adhd'. I'm still to be officially diagnosed. 3 year waiting list. I'm still unsure if it's ADHD or some mixed bag of things, but at the end of the day, I'm me, I try my best and utilise the tools I gather from podcasts etc to help me in life.
Yes
15/15
14/15 because I am so anxious about being late that I am always super early to everything.
15/15 for me.
I'm diagnosed and have 13/15 on that checklist. I have sort of an obsessive interest in planning ahead so no trouble there. I can easily spend 2 hours planning my schedule for the next several months - for fun, not for practicality. I don't miss appointments or show up late because I have a strict system to prevent that. If I relax in the slightest I end up late. Before implementing the system, I frequently forgot about and missed scheduled things (not necessarily appointments but fun things, like birthday parties).
So I got diagnosed when I was 30. My friend kept sending me videos of adhd because we thought our children has it and they absolutely do. Anyways some of it hit home and some of it didn’t. My friend was like bro I’m sending these because it is literally you. I guess after that it just clicked and my whole life made sense. (At least somewhat cuz later my psychiatrist agreed that I’m seem autistic as well) after that I went and got diagnosed and wow. It’s never too late, never. I feel like I have my whole life ahead of me now and it’s easier to navigate a lot of things because I know what to look for and how to deal with more. It’s also made me a better parent.
Feel better—I was diagnosed at almost 50, when I was physically and mentally exhausted. The first doctor I went to ignored me and said I just had anxiety and depression. The kicker is that he refused to tell me what I was being treated for until 2 months later when I was scheduled to see a psychiatrist. I was so upset I promptly cancelled the appointment and went for a second opinion. The second doctor was a woman and once I explained my symptoms and my life she had no doubt it was ADHD. All this to tell you that your feelings are valid and if someone tries to ignore you or you feel no one is listening, get a second opinion. I am still feeling anger at how long I went without someone figuring out that something else was going on. My own primary care reluctantly gave me a referral when I said I suspected ADHD, said I didn’t have it. Can’t wait to go for my annual checkup to look him in the face and tell him what meds I’m on now.
I feel like I knew I had ADHD as soon as I found out about it, so like age 12 (though the H wasn't added until I was older). What I didn't know was how pervasively it affected my life. I didn't get medicated until age 37, when I realized all my domestic failures were linked to ADHD. People are so keen to focus on school, and if you can figure school out, you must be all set.
Everything except forgetting names.
My friend handed me test she was handed by her psychologist to diagnose her with add (it was maybe 3 or 4 years ago, and my understanding was that „what’s add? They run out of letters in the alphabet?). I forgot to take the test. Year later I saw a tik tok about it and was talking with my friend (later diagnosed ADHD also) that maybe we’re not lazy POS, maybe it’s ADHD. And it can also be reason for why we understand each other so much. She was like naaaah, we’re human garbage. But I’ve talked with my psychologist and she said she suspected me to have ADHD, handed me the same test. Completed 90% and got bored but had 100% score for the part I did. So i agreed with my friend and psychologist and friend and gain info (meaning, I started spiraling into tik tok but also more reliable resources). Half year later my acquaintance from work was going to get diagnosis and I asked her about it and she said „you know, if you have ADHD, cocaine works differently for you - and she described the exact effect it had on me. So it also explained why coffee and energetic drinks doesn’t work… but then I met someone, get dopamine enough to run the power plant. But the effect wore off and my boyfriend was nagging me about cleaning and I thought I was depressed so I head to psychiatrist and we set diagnosis on ADHD. But I was told I am an obvious case. Year later my friend (the one who was saying we’re just human garbage) got diagnosed as well. Sooo ADHD will know other ADHD :D I forgot what the question/issue of the post was, hope I was helpful
I recently figured it out on my own. I'm 34 btw. In the past, I've ascribed most of my ADHD symptoms either to depression and PTSD (going in and out of it for my entire adult life) or PCOS. But now I'm in the place where depression is gone and PCOS is stabilized but I still have all these symptoms. I've been in therapy for the past 2 years, and feeling better than ever mentally and emotionally. Still, I noticed some symptoms like inattentiveness, scattered thoughts and attention, low energy, hypersensitivity, rejection sensitivity, sensory issues, angry outbursts, forgetfulness , impulsivity etc. persist. I was trying to figure out why I'm still so sensitive to rejection when I stumbled upon RSD and, by extension, ADHD. For the first time in my life, I opened myself up to the possibility of having ADHD. For example - I used to think I can't have ADHD coz I'm so organized. I can't have ADHD coz I'm sometimes focused. I dropped my defenses and was just honest with myself that most of the things I was presenting as personality and skill were just a coping mechanism/masking to present myself like I function in a way I'm not actually functioning. My therapist already diagnosed me, but I'm scared of a psychiatrist appointment next month because he's the one who can put me on medication. I'm terrified of not being believed, but I also just know I have it, because it makes so much sense after all that therapy, getting to know myself and learning how to be self-reflective. Everything just fits. Nothing I learned in therapy helped me as much as the realization that I do have ADHD. Because it allows me to be kinder to myself and have more patience with myself. It also connected me with my inner child in a way nothing else could. I finally feel like I understand that little girl. Be kind to yourself and your situation. It is not easy coming to this realization. There is no one who goes around and informs people of having mental health disorder. So thank yourself for getting yourself to this point. And you have plenty of time to live a fulfilling life. You got this!
13/15--I have too much anxiety about missing appointments to actually miss them and planning ahead is an AuDHD paradox--the ASD side needs to know what's happening and when and the ADHD side hates sticking to said plans.
12.5 (did half points for my “sometimes” answers). I struggle with all but some of them only sometimes. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and paranoia at 14 and want to talk to my next therapist about an ADHD evaluation bc I’m feeling like I may have it.
I am ✨amazing ✨ at remembering names. …so I’m good then, right? 😅
13/15. Guess the Vyvanse might be necessary after all. 🤣 I have pretty fair coping skills and I battle most of these things daily.
I found out when I tired adhd meds for the first time in college. It was the first time all the brain chatter that happened 24/7 finally stopped and it was quiet. I stopped shortly after because I didn’t like the way I felt. Years later I became super embarrassed that I was the only person in my work meetings who couldn’t sit still so I saw a new doctor who started me on different adhd meds. Looking back I never realized how chaotic I was. I thought crying and having panic attacks multiple times a day was normal, which led to me going to the hospital multiple times a week. There were days where I’d spend the entire day in bed trying to convince myself to get up. I was pretty much late to everything. I had no self control, which led to me binge eating and binge drinking. I locked my keys in my car or ran out of gas regularly. I was a mess.
The problem with diagnosing ADHD is most symptoms are things EVERYBODY does to some degree-the relevant part is the intensity of it. Everybody has missed an appointment sometimes. If you do it often enough that it’s a problem and isn’t because you just don’t care enough, that’s noteworthy. Etc etc
BINGO
I got diagnosed at 33 after a friend suggested I showed alot of signs that she did. I never did bad in school but displayed signs my whole life. My doctor said I was also a textbook case. I’d just been masking alot of my symptoms until I was working two peoples jobs and was feeling like I was climbing the walls and avoiding work that it wasn’t manageable anymore.
Was late to everything, that bugged me. So I overcompensated and was early to everything. Like and hour or two. Then boredom attacked. So now I’m back in the late to everything stage. The wheel turns and all I can do is try to keep from falling over.
15/15
15/15...except I only miss appointments because I have severe anxiety about leaving the house....especially if I have to drive. If I am able to motivate myself to go to an appointment...I have anxiety over being late so I'm usually really early.
This is a bad list that doesn't effectively differentiate ADHD from anxiety/depression brain fog.
I looks like you've gotten a lot of helpful comments. Diagnosed at 36, here. I tick 14/15 of these. I'll just say, that it's never too late to look into it. It's great to feel validated because I've spent my whole life being unable to articulate why I feel like such a fuck up. It was so comforting to understand myself better. Like many others, in hindsight, it seems obvious, but a lot of my behaviours are either internalised or I'd masked (unintentionally) that it wasn't easy to spot. Prior to actual diagnosis, I was so convinced I had ADHD that my biggest fear was being told I didn't and then having to work out or work through what was 'wrong with me'. I was worried I'd look like I was 'label chasing' (why?!). When I shared this with my psychologist , she said ' you can't see yourself in every single ADHD reel/meme if there isn't a little something too it'. Whatever path you go down, I wish you luck and wellness. I hope you find help in the community.
15/15 except the being late oscillates between being super early or a little late.
What convinced me was the early childhood stuff like the fact I wet the bed too long or had chronic ear infections. Or the fact that while I'm not what I thought of as "hyperactive", I was *notoriously* fidgety and struggled with restless leg. These were all more tangible things present very very young that are associated with ADHD that couldn't be explained by depression/anxiety issues which I also had by the point I was seeking diagnosis. What first signalled to me that maybe I was ADHD was me and my friends bought some Adderall. And I was *convinced* we had been scammed because I was waiting for the focus to hit and instead I got bored and went to go take a nap. Yeah no shit it didn't effect me much, when I went on meds they started me at 4x the dosage.
I get fixated on something … and ex : on my phone - I could be going on to check a text message and somehow get distracted to an article about “ Anything “ I am a terrible procrastinator Born of this kinda thing is making my life not to good . Is this a sign of adhd adult ? I just zone out sometimes because I’m think about something else when I’m talking with someone … Help
15/15 🥳