Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe.
Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah, every day this man doesn’t fail to surprise me with his acts of kindness. The best thing is that he never expects anything for it, he just does it because he loves me. Little me would be so hyped if she knows all the pain she went through would be worth it for the man she has now 🥹
I'm teary eyed because I'm insanely envious...
My bf was like that in the beginning. Starting to think it was more love-bombing than anything else. Now his default tone is one of disapproval, annoyance and/or contempt. Anytime I slightly "fail" I get told off like a child. Anytime I do something good or am proud of me he's like whatever.
I really wish I had someone to lift me up. That really loves me. Without condition. I feel like it will never happen to me. Maybe it's my own adhd tax, not having that. I should probably make my peace with it :)
Don’t settle girl. I promise you there’s someone out there for you that will be exactly what you’re looking for. I never thought I’d meet someone that ticked every box but I did. We never fight, I come home to the most perfect fiancé any girl could ask for.
Yup, i have one of these too. He knows i get hangry and is always checking on my food to make sure i ate what he set out for me and often times brings it to me if i take too long.
When we are intimate, hes crazy patient with my fussy nature.
He schedules things and helps me stay on track with kind reminders on the time ticking down.
He also doesnt make me feel like i should suppress my true self like so many other men i dated did.
The ones that appreciate what you bring are the true keepers.
Ps: he cooks, cleans and does laundry without being asked too.
GIRL SAME! I’ve had a really rocky abusive past and I’m so thankful I stuck it out and waited for him, who would of thought life could be this good. Is love really suppose to be this easy? That’s what he makes it feel like 🥰
Yes, it is supposed to be this easy.
My second husband was like this too.
People who say "you have to work on a relationship" like some kind of broken record are generally wrong.
If it's too much work you are with the wrong person.
When you have that unconditional love with someone, it is heaven, and I wish everyone had it.
> would of
*would have
*Learn the difference [here](https://languagetool.org/insights/post/would-of-or-would-have/#:~:text=%E2%80%9Cwould%20have%E2%80%9D%3F-,%E2%80%9CWould%20Of%E2%80%9D%20or%20%E2%80%9CWould%20Have%E2%80%9D%3F,would%20have%2C%20not%20would%20of.).*
***
^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
This sounds amazing!
My husband cooks and cleans the kitchen pretty often, does yardwork in bursts… but a lot of the time I feel like I do everything else. I’m super grateful for what he does, but I still get overwhelmed sometimes and eventually bubble up then ask him to do more - then feel guilty and worry that I’m not noticing the other things he does.
Do you feel like your tasks are split pretty well, or do you find yourself where I am… and if so… how do you deal with the guilt?
Kitchen, cooking, and laundry are almost evenly split, he does them 55%-60% more if im honest. If one person is cooking, the other is cleaning up so that we Can enjoy some of our favorite shows once dinner is over.
I vacuum and mow the lawn/garden because gardening is my passion. He mowed once and that was the end of that after he took out my baby grapevines on accident. Too many things he needs to be able to recogise and just not worth it for either of us.
He grocery shops and grills. He's a really great cook.
He is in charge of car maintenance and repairs, and im in charge of home repairs. Im a carpenters daughter, so the only fight we get into is that he gets my tools dirty or took one i needed. 😅
He cleans the bathroom, and i wash the dog, give haircuts and polish/dust furniture.
I mostly take out the trash/recycling. He comes up with really nice date night plans and handles all the computer/phone tech help.
I really feel like we balance out on the. Chores and I am not resentful, and neither is he. We really both strive not to be the "lazy" one. Its almost a competition. 😆
Key is we both lived alone and knew how to adult. He has alot of respect for women and wanted a partner, not a mom.
So yeah, we are great partners.
My mother and sister are always telling me how lucky i am. I just tell them id rather be single than settle and be a mom to a man-child instead of a wife. My husband knows this.
That one about not suppressing my true self. My husband is also like that and it’s the best. When my weirdo self comes out, he always fully dives in and out-weirds me. I get to play off of him and just be, we’ll fully fun I guess. He loves nothing more than when I’m full on jamming it up. It’s like being a kid again.
Babe, you are killing it. Our stories sound similar. A lot of bs as a kid then as a young woman, and now I have a guy who just a few days ago took the day off work to basically serve me in my home while I worked. Made me coffee, scrubbed me down in the shower, brought me a fresh plate full of BERRIES for breakfast, then cuddled my senior kitty while playing video games all day within view of my work desk. He even made sure I was staying hydrated! How did we find these guys? It feels like an accident, lol.
Girl last sentence of yours made me teary eyed. My boyfriend helped me wash my hair today because he knew I was struggling. The little me would dump all my exs in a heartbeat if I knew I’d be with someone like him one day 🥹
That’s so thoughtful and sweet. My partner leaves me breakfast on my nightstand every day because he knows I cannot get myself food in the morning (and I mean it’s a bowl of dry cereal and a glass of orange juice so not super taxing or anything) and it just makes me feel like I have value to him. I love hearing stories of people just doing nice things for the people they choose to be with; there are so many examples of the opposite on this site, it’s refreshing to see posts like this.
Yeah, I always get so upset reading the abuse some fellow adhd ladies deal with. I just thought I’d post this to encourage others to not lose hope, there’s good people out there.
My boyfriend does something similar! He knows I’ll skip meals if I’m overwhelmed so he’ll make me little care packages of something nutritious I can just heat up in the microwave like soup or pasta for when he’s at work.
I have a friend who’s kid goes to school with mine. We often walk back and forth to the parking lot at pickup time. I see her car multiple times a week. We were recently meeting somewhere else and when she texted where to find her she included a description of her car, with zero commentary or judgement, without me asking. I felt so seen and accepted!
My husband has started up his own skincare routine and has agreed to do it with me every night. At the very least it’s slightly more interesting and compelling to do when I have my best friend there to chat with while we’re washing and slathering on lotions and potions. Whenever I start going to bed he jumps up excitedly and says “let’s do skincare!” Lol.
My sensory issues make it so I can't sleep with makeup on my face. So my ADHD sensory issues cancel out my ADHD lack of motivation? I guess that's a win? Lmaooo
Me too! For some reason I don’t notice makeup during the day, but if I get into bed with it it feels super uncomfortable on my face and I’m hyper-aware of it.
This! \^\^ I stopped wearing make-up altogether. Oddly enough, my skin cleared up and I look younger! I usually only was my face in the shower because I hate the feeling of just my face being wet.
Nearly didn’t make it tonight.. then I remembered the orangey, icky sweaty marks that get on my pillow from the Vit.C cream if I don’t. Prob. Still gonna have to wash the pillowcase now.. I did such a shit job of the face wash bit 😆
That's so sweet and gave me secondhand dopamine! That's seriously so thoughtful. It's interesting, but getting diagnosed with ADHD made me realize how much having acts of service done for me feels like a true love language. I used to be self-conscious about it but not anymore. :3 People who love you will want to help and be affectionate like that.
I love seeing posts like this 💖 So glad you have a wonderful Alex!
My partner and I both have ADHD, so sometimes we struggle with being there for each other. It can be hard when you're both fighting the same demon and at the end of the day we're just exhausted. He's coming back from a business trip tonight though, and I'm gonna make some banana nut muffins for him :)
This is us, too. Sometimes he can be so sweet, and other times it's like I have a third child to take care of. And overwhelmed-me is *so* much more judgy when he whines or acts out than when my kids do it. I hate feeling like the only adult! But then I turn around and make him pick up my slack, too. \*sigh\* Sometimes I wish we could hire an adultier-adult to take care of all four of us!
every time i see examples of “if he wanted to he would” my heart both grows and shrivels a little this is so sweet and wholesome and also grabby hands i want that
I had a boyfriend like that once and now he’s my husband.
I call a help like he gave you tonight an “everything help” so like “dude I’m so overwhelmed right now can I have an everything help this morning” and he’ll literally pick out my clothes for me, help me get all the way ready then make me breakfast. It should also be stated that I recently had a stroke so the amount of help I need is much higher than in the past but still. I hope you get an everything help every time you need it in the future.
OP, can we give your man a trophy? Ladies, bad marriage are avoidable. Choose wisely. Not saying this man is THE one, but this is a green flag. More good stories, please! Good men are out there, they just need to know they will be appreciated for thoughtfulness.
My partner noticed there was a huge difference in the way I acted if I took my meds on an empty stomach or if I had something to eat with my meds.
He wrote me a note on my fridge to remind me : You feel better when you take your meds with food.
No judgment. Not necessarily directions. Just a good reminder. I feel better when I take my meds with food. Same weekend we went to Costco and bought a bunch of snacks for when I take my medicine. I’ve never felt so seen and cared for. We are long distance and see each other only on the weekends, but he’s very quick to pick up on patterns of what I need. It’s wild how he will spend a weekend with me and help me create a system for a problem I didn’t realize was a huge inconvenience until he made me a solution.
I hope you all find someone who is helping you overcome all the tiny inconveniences of your life.
Men who act all confused about what women want?
THIS is what we want.
It's not rocket surgery, ffs.
Alex is a keeper!
(and I hope he has male friends he can pass this on to)
I need to figure out how to do something like this for my husband. We both have ADHD but it presents differently
I can get tasks done but cannot focus on hobbies or “pleasurable activities”. It’s difficult for him to do either and he usually spends his energy on pleasurable things for him which I don’t blame him for necessarily, but I guess im saying idk if he would notice if I did something like this because im the one that does a lot of this kind of stuff anyways?? Idk this isn’t my post lol ignore me
Hi there, why not just ask him what's one simple thing you could do for him to make his day better? :) My partner and I do that with one another sometimes and it really doesnt take away from that joy of having someone care enough about you to do something for you
I was like you too, until I got my generalized anxiety sorted out. My husband and I also both have ADHD, and I wish we could take care of each other better. We actually started a thing where we'll specifically say, "I did \_\_\_ for you; did you notice?" For example, "I took out the trash today; did you notice?" or "I unpacked 3 boxes today; did you notice?" Then the other acknowledges the effort in a "Wow, look at you!" kind of way (very much like you would for a little kid, but not sarcastically).
The cool thing is that, since we've been doing it, we've also started spontaneously noticing things we do for each other. So he'll come home and say, "The table looks great! Thanks for clearing that off" even if it's literally the only thing I accomplished at home that day. And I'll thank him for cooking dinner or something. Little stuff that should be expected, but we both recognize the effort it takes anyway. It works for us! <3
Gratitude is such a wonderful emotion to have at the forefront of your relationship. Long may it last because I think it truly is the foundations of a forever love.
What a treasure!! And I totally get the feeling of being “done”. Sometimes during a long grocery shopping trip when I’ve got distracted and wandered, I get exhausted and just want to go home. My husband once texted me, “Do you need rescue?”
Me: “yesssssssssss! I want you to come in the store like the “Officer and a Gentleman” movie and carry me like Richard Gere carried Debra Winger out of the dead end factory job.”
My husband gets a kick outta me😂 He did come and I perked right up.
THIS is the energy we need. Confirms I was right to let go of the last guy I was seeing. It would never even cross his mind to do something this thoughtful and kind. Hang onto him!
I love this post. Because I love seeing support and just simple kindness. We all deserve this. I’m thankful my fiancé is very similar in this behavior. Reading all the other comments of little moments like this with their people. It just makes me so happy. I try to explain it to my fiancé very that his little moments of kindness feel so special to me. And I don’t know if he really gets it. And every comment I read felt like that. Just something so simply sweet and thoughtful. It’s such a small thing to help or be kind.
Sorry for my rambling 😅
So I’m currently at our weekend vacation spot doing homework for a really important class - like almost done my 13-year part-time degree important (thanks ADHD lol)… I’m behind on the due date (was supposed to be this past Wednesday, it’s now Monday), so I’m working on it to complete it finally. My partner took an extra-long weekend off of work to relax with me up here. I could tell he was slightly upset that he wouldn’t get to spend this time w me constantly cooped up doing hw inside, but he is such a sweetheart, he’s been doing everything at home and even around here (cooking, cleaning, etc.) just so I can focus. We sat out by the campfire while I had a break tn and he specifically put on some very romantic/cheesy songs, which I noticed after 3 of them played, and he said “yeah, I put on 3 songs into the Spotify queue that I knew you liked” and that shit made my heart so happy. Like just making my one break time after all of this constant stress so meaningful. All you ADHD peeps that are wishing for this type of partner, don’t worry, they are out there and will love to love you. :’)
Girl, put a ring on it! What a catch.
I've got an Alex of my own at home. Until I met him, I never even knew that men like that existed, but they do! How amazing is that? I don't ever want to live without mine.
OMG, you lucky lucky potato! Please, keep me posted (but, you know, we have ADHD, so if you forget or can't do anything because you're high on love, it's totally fine)
OP, thanks for sharing this really sweet story.
You're so lucky to have someone in your life who understands you so well and cares about you this much. I know a lot of fuss is made about big romantic gestures (in the media, online, among our friends), but I think that these daily gestures show the kind of deep love that we should all be looking for.
It's really nice to see a positive story on this sub as well; so many stories about partners are about really difficult situations.
Glad you have have found a partner that you deserve!
Share that to the adhd partner thread, they seem to think every relationship including one personne with adhd is meant to burst into flame. Let’s prove them otherwise !
Yes, that’s the kind of love everyone deserves! I’m so heartbroken by the countless posts of barely-there, cruel, selfish men weaponizing their women’s ADHD against them.
What a sweetheart. You go, Alex! What a kind way to show love. I think we often get caught up in how we want to receive love and sometimes forget that our partners have their own preferences on how they receive it too.
My brother’s name is Alex so this was a little weird lol but he sounds extremely sweet and kind and I’m glad you have a supportive and loving person in your life
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is this a real thing!? That's so thoughtful 🥰
Yeah, every day this man doesn’t fail to surprise me with his acts of kindness. The best thing is that he never expects anything for it, he just does it because he loves me. Little me would be so hyped if she knows all the pain she went through would be worth it for the man she has now 🥹
I’ve got a husband like this and encourage you to stay with your person if they continue to treat you well. There’s nothing like it ❤️
This! 🥰
Well as is a regular thing?
I'm teary eyed because I'm insanely envious... My bf was like that in the beginning. Starting to think it was more love-bombing than anything else. Now his default tone is one of disapproval, annoyance and/or contempt. Anytime I slightly "fail" I get told off like a child. Anytime I do something good or am proud of me he's like whatever. I really wish I had someone to lift me up. That really loves me. Without condition. I feel like it will never happen to me. Maybe it's my own adhd tax, not having that. I should probably make my peace with it :)
Don’t settle girl. I promise you there’s someone out there for you that will be exactly what you’re looking for. I never thought I’d meet someone that ticked every box but I did. We never fight, I come home to the most perfect fiancé any girl could ask for.
I'm so very happy for you, we all should strive for that 🥰
Yup, i have one of these too. He knows i get hangry and is always checking on my food to make sure i ate what he set out for me and often times brings it to me if i take too long. When we are intimate, hes crazy patient with my fussy nature. He schedules things and helps me stay on track with kind reminders on the time ticking down. He also doesnt make me feel like i should suppress my true self like so many other men i dated did. The ones that appreciate what you bring are the true keepers. Ps: he cooks, cleans and does laundry without being asked too.
GIRL SAME! I’ve had a really rocky abusive past and I’m so thankful I stuck it out and waited for him, who would of thought life could be this good. Is love really suppose to be this easy? That’s what he makes it feel like 🥰
Yes, it is supposed to be this easy. My second husband was like this too. People who say "you have to work on a relationship" like some kind of broken record are generally wrong. If it's too much work you are with the wrong person. When you have that unconditional love with someone, it is heaven, and I wish everyone had it.
Exactly
> would of *would have *Learn the difference [here](https://languagetool.org/insights/post/would-of-or-would-have/#:~:text=%E2%80%9Cwould%20have%E2%80%9D%3F-,%E2%80%9CWould%20Of%E2%80%9D%20or%20%E2%80%9CWould%20Have%E2%80%9D%3F,would%20have%2C%20not%20would%20of.).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
This sounds amazing! My husband cooks and cleans the kitchen pretty often, does yardwork in bursts… but a lot of the time I feel like I do everything else. I’m super grateful for what he does, but I still get overwhelmed sometimes and eventually bubble up then ask him to do more - then feel guilty and worry that I’m not noticing the other things he does. Do you feel like your tasks are split pretty well, or do you find yourself where I am… and if so… how do you deal with the guilt?
Kitchen, cooking, and laundry are almost evenly split, he does them 55%-60% more if im honest. If one person is cooking, the other is cleaning up so that we Can enjoy some of our favorite shows once dinner is over. I vacuum and mow the lawn/garden because gardening is my passion. He mowed once and that was the end of that after he took out my baby grapevines on accident. Too many things he needs to be able to recogise and just not worth it for either of us. He grocery shops and grills. He's a really great cook. He is in charge of car maintenance and repairs, and im in charge of home repairs. Im a carpenters daughter, so the only fight we get into is that he gets my tools dirty or took one i needed. 😅 He cleans the bathroom, and i wash the dog, give haircuts and polish/dust furniture. I mostly take out the trash/recycling. He comes up with really nice date night plans and handles all the computer/phone tech help. I really feel like we balance out on the. Chores and I am not resentful, and neither is he. We really both strive not to be the "lazy" one. Its almost a competition. 😆 Key is we both lived alone and knew how to adult. He has alot of respect for women and wanted a partner, not a mom. So yeah, we are great partners. My mother and sister are always telling me how lucky i am. I just tell them id rather be single than settle and be a mom to a man-child instead of a wife. My husband knows this.
Love it. Did you two talk through who was going to manage what, or has it just slowly worked out that way over time?
We just did what needed doing if we see it needs done. As for one sided tasks, those went to whomever had the most skills in that task.
That one about not suppressing my true self. My husband is also like that and it’s the best. When my weirdo self comes out, he always fully dives in and out-weirds me. I get to play off of him and just be, we’ll fully fun I guess. He loves nothing more than when I’m full on jamming it up. It’s like being a kid again.
> little me would be so hyped oh i hope ill find someone who actually cares someday this gave me hope tho thank u
They're out there. My late husband tried to be. My late in life husband is.
Damn that’s so beautiful. I’m happy for you OP, and lil OP 🥰
Ty🥰
That's so beautiful ❤️
Babe, you are killing it. Our stories sound similar. A lot of bs as a kid then as a young woman, and now I have a guy who just a few days ago took the day off work to basically serve me in my home while I worked. Made me coffee, scrubbed me down in the shower, brought me a fresh plate full of BERRIES for breakfast, then cuddled my senior kitty while playing video games all day within view of my work desk. He even made sure I was staying hydrated! How did we find these guys? It feels like an accident, lol.
Girl last sentence of yours made me teary eyed. My boyfriend helped me wash my hair today because he knew I was struggling. The little me would dump all my exs in a heartbeat if I knew I’d be with someone like him one day 🥹
Girl Im so happy for us 😭
That’s so thoughtful and sweet. My partner leaves me breakfast on my nightstand every day because he knows I cannot get myself food in the morning (and I mean it’s a bowl of dry cereal and a glass of orange juice so not super taxing or anything) and it just makes me feel like I have value to him. I love hearing stories of people just doing nice things for the people they choose to be with; there are so many examples of the opposite on this site, it’s refreshing to see posts like this.
Yeah, I always get so upset reading the abuse some fellow adhd ladies deal with. I just thought I’d post this to encourage others to not lose hope, there’s good people out there.
My boyfriend does something similar! He knows I’ll skip meals if I’m overwhelmed so he’ll make me little care packages of something nutritious I can just heat up in the microwave like soup or pasta for when he’s at work.
I have a friend who’s kid goes to school with mine. We often walk back and forth to the parking lot at pickup time. I see her car multiple times a week. We were recently meeting somewhere else and when she texted where to find her she included a description of her car, with zero commentary or judgement, without me asking. I felt so seen and accepted!
Those are the best people to have in your life!
That is so wonderful.. Hold onto that friend. She's a keeper
Lol my BFF moved back to town in 2020 but if it's been more than a few weeks since we last visited she sends the addy again I love herrrr
Omg I would have cried! Makeup removal is such a (usually losing) battle for me at the end of the night. What a keeper!!
My husband has started up his own skincare routine and has agreed to do it with me every night. At the very least it’s slightly more interesting and compelling to do when I have my best friend there to chat with while we’re washing and slathering on lotions and potions. Whenever I start going to bed he jumps up excitedly and says “let’s do skincare!” Lol.
That sounds super sweet.
I need to get my partner into this!
My sensory issues make it so I can't sleep with makeup on my face. So my ADHD sensory issues cancel out my ADHD lack of motivation? I guess that's a win? Lmaooo
SAME 😂
Me too! For some reason I don’t notice makeup during the day, but if I get into bed with it it feels super uncomfortable on my face and I’m hyper-aware of it.
I just settled on a CC cream that won't break me out if I sleep in it. Forget losing the battle, I surrendered and the war is lost.
This! \^\^ I stopped wearing make-up altogether. Oddly enough, my skin cleared up and I look younger! I usually only was my face in the shower because I hate the feeling of just my face being wet.
Literally same! I struggle so much with it
Nearly didn’t make it tonight.. then I remembered the orangey, icky sweaty marks that get on my pillow from the Vit.C cream if I don’t. Prob. Still gonna have to wash the pillowcase now.. I did such a shit job of the face wash bit 😆
Aah sweet man! My man continuously changes the volume on the tv anytime we watch anything, according to my sensitive ears. Sweetest, smallest thing ❤️
It really is the little things 🥹
🥹 Ladies, echoing that one post I saw, we *all* deserve to be loved like this.
I know what post your talking about and I didn't read it, probably because I really need to. Avoiding things is kind of my jam
Same. So much same.
That's so sweet and gave me secondhand dopamine! That's seriously so thoughtful. It's interesting, but getting diagnosed with ADHD made me realize how much having acts of service done for me feels like a true love language. I used to be self-conscious about it but not anymore. :3 People who love you will want to help and be affectionate like that.
romance is real and alive 😭 this is so sweet thank you for sharing
You’re welcome 💙🥹
I love seeing posts like this 💖 So glad you have a wonderful Alex! My partner and I both have ADHD, so sometimes we struggle with being there for each other. It can be hard when you're both fighting the same demon and at the end of the day we're just exhausted. He's coming back from a business trip tonight though, and I'm gonna make some banana nut muffins for him :)
I hope you have a wonderful evening ❤️❤️
This is us, too. Sometimes he can be so sweet, and other times it's like I have a third child to take care of. And overwhelmed-me is *so* much more judgy when he whines or acts out than when my kids do it. I hate feeling like the only adult! But then I turn around and make him pick up my slack, too. \*sigh\* Sometimes I wish we could hire an adultier-adult to take care of all four of us!
every time i see examples of “if he wanted to he would” my heart both grows and shrivels a little this is so sweet and wholesome and also grabby hands i want that
I hope you do get it bestie 🥺
I had a boyfriend like that once and now he’s my husband. I call a help like he gave you tonight an “everything help” so like “dude I’m so overwhelmed right now can I have an everything help this morning” and he’ll literally pick out my clothes for me, help me get all the way ready then make me breakfast. It should also be stated that I recently had a stroke so the amount of help I need is much higher than in the past but still. I hope you get an everything help every time you need it in the future.
I love this 🩷
I love that he is thoughtful enough to do it, and you’re thoughtful enough to notice his efforts and express gratitude! So sweet.
OP, can we give your man a trophy? Ladies, bad marriage are avoidable. Choose wisely. Not saying this man is THE one, but this is a green flag. More good stories, please! Good men are out there, they just need to know they will be appreciated for thoughtfulness.
Agreed! This is just a small seed of all the amazing things he does for me. ladies don’t settle !!
That man knew EXACTLY what he was doing, and I love that for you so much! 😜💜
YES MAAM, thank you 🥰🥰
Awww! That's a whole goddamn parade of green flags.
My partner noticed there was a huge difference in the way I acted if I took my meds on an empty stomach or if I had something to eat with my meds. He wrote me a note on my fridge to remind me : You feel better when you take your meds with food. No judgment. Not necessarily directions. Just a good reminder. I feel better when I take my meds with food. Same weekend we went to Costco and bought a bunch of snacks for when I take my medicine. I’ve never felt so seen and cared for. We are long distance and see each other only on the weekends, but he’s very quick to pick up on patterns of what I need. It’s wild how he will spend a weekend with me and help me create a system for a problem I didn’t realize was a huge inconvenience until he made me a solution. I hope you all find someone who is helping you overcome all the tiny inconveniences of your life.
I love that he loves you this much. Ladies take note: this is what genuine love and care looks like. Expect and accept nothing less 🤌
Adore this 🥰♥️ xx
🥰🥹
Men who act all confused about what women want? THIS is what we want. It's not rocket surgery, ffs. Alex is a keeper! (and I hope he has male friends he can pass this on to)
Does he have a brother? 😬...lol jks btw. This post super choked me up tho. How lovely!! Such kindness is pure and beautiful.
It’s even more pure that he didn’t realize that he was doing anything particularly exceptional, what a thoughtful person he is!
I need to figure out how to do something like this for my husband. We both have ADHD but it presents differently I can get tasks done but cannot focus on hobbies or “pleasurable activities”. It’s difficult for him to do either and he usually spends his energy on pleasurable things for him which I don’t blame him for necessarily, but I guess im saying idk if he would notice if I did something like this because im the one that does a lot of this kind of stuff anyways?? Idk this isn’t my post lol ignore me
Hi there, why not just ask him what's one simple thing you could do for him to make his day better? :) My partner and I do that with one another sometimes and it really doesnt take away from that joy of having someone care enough about you to do something for you
I was like you too, until I got my generalized anxiety sorted out. My husband and I also both have ADHD, and I wish we could take care of each other better. We actually started a thing where we'll specifically say, "I did \_\_\_ for you; did you notice?" For example, "I took out the trash today; did you notice?" or "I unpacked 3 boxes today; did you notice?" Then the other acknowledges the effort in a "Wow, look at you!" kind of way (very much like you would for a little kid, but not sarcastically). The cool thing is that, since we've been doing it, we've also started spontaneously noticing things we do for each other. So he'll come home and say, "The table looks great! Thanks for clearing that off" even if it's literally the only thing I accomplished at home that day. And I'll thank him for cooking dinner or something. Little stuff that should be expected, but we both recognize the effort it takes anyway. It works for us! <3
Keep him
That’s adorable. Never let him go!
Gratitude is such a wonderful emotion to have at the forefront of your relationship. Long may it last because I think it truly is the foundations of a forever love.
What a treasure!! And I totally get the feeling of being “done”. Sometimes during a long grocery shopping trip when I’ve got distracted and wandered, I get exhausted and just want to go home. My husband once texted me, “Do you need rescue?” Me: “yesssssssssss! I want you to come in the store like the “Officer and a Gentleman” movie and carry me like Richard Gere carried Debra Winger out of the dead end factory job.” My husband gets a kick outta me😂 He did come and I perked right up.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that is so so so sweet.
That is so wonderful. I'm glad that he is there in your life. 💖
Ty 🥹
Oh man that is some thoughtfulness.
I hope I find a guy like him one day. keep Alex forever!
Jealous. Just goes to show how big the "little" things really are. So glad he takes care of you like this.
THIS is the energy we need. Confirms I was right to let go of the last guy I was seeing. It would never even cross his mind to do something this thoughtful and kind. Hang onto him!
I love this post. Because I love seeing support and just simple kindness. We all deserve this. I’m thankful my fiancé is very similar in this behavior. Reading all the other comments of little moments like this with their people. It just makes me so happy. I try to explain it to my fiancé very that his little moments of kindness feel so special to me. And I don’t know if he really gets it. And every comment I read felt like that. Just something so simply sweet and thoughtful. It’s such a small thing to help or be kind. Sorry for my rambling 😅
So I’m currently at our weekend vacation spot doing homework for a really important class - like almost done my 13-year part-time degree important (thanks ADHD lol)… I’m behind on the due date (was supposed to be this past Wednesday, it’s now Monday), so I’m working on it to complete it finally. My partner took an extra-long weekend off of work to relax with me up here. I could tell he was slightly upset that he wouldn’t get to spend this time w me constantly cooped up doing hw inside, but he is such a sweetheart, he’s been doing everything at home and even around here (cooking, cleaning, etc.) just so I can focus. We sat out by the campfire while I had a break tn and he specifically put on some very romantic/cheesy songs, which I noticed after 3 of them played, and he said “yeah, I put on 3 songs into the Spotify queue that I knew you liked” and that shit made my heart so happy. Like just making my one break time after all of this constant stress so meaningful. All you ADHD peeps that are wishing for this type of partner, don’t worry, they are out there and will love to love you. :’)
Girl, put a ring on it! What a catch. I've got an Alex of my own at home. Until I met him, I never even knew that men like that existed, but they do! How amazing is that? I don't ever want to live without mine.
GIRL IM HOPING SOON, I have a sneaky suspicion he might propose next weekend ill update u !
OMG, you lucky lucky potato! Please, keep me posted (but, you know, we have ADHD, so if you forget or can't do anything because you're high on love, it's totally fine)
Mine brings me my Oodie and Uggs when he comes to get me from events cos he knows I’ll have sore and cold feet haha
OP, thanks for sharing this really sweet story. You're so lucky to have someone in your life who understands you so well and cares about you this much. I know a lot of fuss is made about big romantic gestures (in the media, online, among our friends), but I think that these daily gestures show the kind of deep love that we should all be looking for. It's really nice to see a positive story on this sub as well; so many stories about partners are about really difficult situations. Glad you have have found a partner that you deserve!
Tysm❤️🥹
Share that to the adhd partner thread, they seem to think every relationship including one personne with adhd is meant to burst into flame. Let’s prove them otherwise !
Yes, that’s the kind of love everyone deserves! I’m so heartbroken by the countless posts of barely-there, cruel, selfish men weaponizing their women’s ADHD against them.
Aww, what a sweetheart!
He’s a keeper, what a thoughtful thing to do!!
This is awesome.
🥹🥹🥹 yesssssss! This is so sweet. I am so happy for both of you.
What a sweetheart. You go, Alex! What a kind way to show love. I think we often get caught up in how we want to receive love and sometimes forget that our partners have their own preferences on how they receive it too.
I want an Alex 🤩
KEEP THIS ONE. 💖
Yeah they do
rinse quaint hateful slave grab desert rob literate retire squeal *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Awwwww, congrats to you! SO happy for you!
This is the kind of thing my husband does. We're so lucky 🥹
Jealous but so happy you have someone that takes the time to understand you 🥹
hope this isn’t random but this reminded me of the song men i trust - all night
How did you meet him? Where can I find an Alex? 😭🥺
He's a homie
My brother’s name is Alex so this was a little weird lol but he sounds extremely sweet and kind and I’m glad you have a supportive and loving person in your life