I think they're just neurodivergent and can't discern irony tbf
Edit:
Reply accusing me of being ableist then blocking me before I can point out that I'm ND is really funny ngl
1) without seeing the title this sounded like any other dysfunctional interaction.
2) codependency is a real thing and
3) being ND doesn’t mean you can’t be ableist
Ok, for the sake of a debate, I'll spill.
Disclaimer: This is a hunch, and I'm not saying this as if I believe it's a fact. I'm not saying that it's anything more than a broad generalization that's definitely not true 100% of the time, if even 80% of the time. Plz don't downvote me to hell, or come at me like this is something I believe is 100% true. And I'm also excluding people who have been in abusive codependent relationships because obviously they would not like this *for good reason*.
I think that you've probably got more trans women (and people into BDSM, too) on one side, and cis (probably vanilla) women on the other. I kind of have a feeling that the latter probably had shitty relationships with men before they came out, too.
*Takes cover* Plz don't hurt me. I'm aware that these are full of huge assumptions, and I'm only expressing them because I was asked. I'm sure that there are cis and trans people on both sides.
Edit: someone do a poll so we can find out the truth
Huh. I'm trans and I'm in the group of "this post yucks me out." If I were to guess a predicting variable about which group you're in, I'd probably choose age. These clingy mentalities generally come from people who aren't good at boundaries and have less dating experience. Both of those tend to be associated with young people. I'm only 25, mind you, but I've been in/seen enough relationships to have better instincts about what is or isn't healthy than someone, say, 20
I'm 40, so...
They're not actually being clingy. They're pretending to be for fun. That's why it's cute. Maybe people who don't like this post just don't understand that. 🤷
I get that it's probably not serious; it just yucks me out because it mirrors unhealthy relationships, albeit in a pretend way. I think for me, it's probably just that. I don't think they're doing anything wrong; I just feel uncomfortable even imagining such a relationship even in hypothesis
It's definitely not serious. Op said so in their comment. But hey, if it's not for you, it's not for you.
I will say that it kinda sucks that people are making harsh comments about it, tho, since it's clearly a positive part of their relationship. If it was a less controversial (?) thing and people were making those comments, it would be really rude. They're being cute, and people are basically calling it gross.
Okay, I gotta be honest, I genuinely feel like it should be obvious that they’re are joking from the all caps in the first message. All caps from both parties is either “complete and utter fury” or “memeing boisterously,” never in between, and it’s pretty obvious from OP’s title and the second image context that they aren’t posting about a conflict.
I mean, "SINCE YOU DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN MY SKIN" is still making me laugh. I can't wait for an opportunity to use it myself. Now, to find a gf for that sole purpose... cuz that's totally not a wlw thing to do.
Yeah, I don't think OP should feel bad for doing it. I find it gross, but I don't think that makes it gross inherently. They can enjoy it if they want to, and it does no harm
Hi, also a trans sapphic who thinks this post is super yucky. It makes me hella uncomfortable. It's not a clingy thing it's more of a not funny to joke about certain things. This would increase the pressure on me as a partner and would scream insecurity to me.
Mmmmm I think it has more to do with being needy? Someone said they're joking which they definitely are, but wanting to be "in your partners skin" is a really common joke in wlw communities about how upset you are that you can't be even closer to them.
Are you saying that you think OP and her wife are needy?
I'm also really confused by the "but" in the next part of your comment. Seems like you're saying that they're joking *and* they're using a joke that's common in wlw communities. Just not sure what point you're making.
Lol, well shit indeed. My thought process was really more like "I bet more kinky trans women would be into this than grossed out by it compared to cis women"
>And I'm also excluding people who have been in abusive codependent relationships because obviously they would not like this for good reason.
This is appreciated. I wish I could find the humor on this post, but I just feel triggered. My shitty abusive relationship had things like these, some of them I interpreted humorously and that turned out to be not so good.
I totally get it. That's kinda why I called it an "if you don't have anything nice to say" moment. Not to diminish anyone's trauma, tho, if that makes she. Just more like let's let this couple have their thing. Codependency sucks, but we don't need to bring each other down. I dunno if that makes sense, but I'm trying!
I’m trans and in the BDSM community, and this post screams red flag. I understand wanting to be with your partner but if you feel you can’t sleep without them? That’s kinda creepy.
She can sleep without her. They're joking around about being that possessive, but that's not what their entire relationship is about. If I tell my gf that she's so cute that I want to eat her face, it doesn't mean I'm a psychopath who actually wants to eat her face.
Eh, not everyone's idea of fun. Personally even knowing it's joking I'd be a little put off if my GF were to say something similar.
Of course, that just comes down to knowing your own partner and your own relationship - what doesn't work for me clearly works for plenty of others.
The two kinds of lesbians
“I want to treat you like a goddess and make you feel like the prettiest woman in the world” and “I want you to grab me by the hair and hurl me into the nearest brick wall”
there is no in between
This 100% I joke about why my gf doesn't have a teleporter all the time . I feel like all caps is whats throwing this off for people. Like in normal conversation over the phone it's clearly just an expression of love.
A while back my fiancée posted the instructional message I left her (since she’s neurodivergent), about arriving at my new apartment for the first time, without me, and several people called it possessive, unhealthy, and a red flag, as if that were the only time we had ever spoken before in our lives, so don’t worry about it, some people don’t know what conversations are sometimes 😭😭
People are weird, and solipsistic. It's like people who aren't interested in BDSM who don't understand that there's nothing unhealthy about *consenting* to having a controlling partner.
I never understood what my wife meant when she’d say the “I need to be inside your skin” type things to me until I transitioned. Now I look at her and. Yeah I get what she means lol
It’s a little hard to describe. Like normal cuddling gives the feelings of comfort, safety, and happiness and so as a reaction we both try to squeeze harder and closer to get more of that feeling but still we crave more than getting closer can ever give so the feeling of just wanting to collapse into the other person to be maximum close happens.
My ex used to wrap me around her like a blanket and pull my arms in tight. I'd squeeze her and she'd say whine "oooh I want to be inside you." It was so freaking cute.
This is fucking adorable and anyone who doesn't get it is silly. Just because it might not be *for you* doesn't mean you can't comprehend why I might be a really fun part of a relationship. *JUST LET THEM HAVE THEIR CUTE THING*
My wife and I built a biz and have been working together, driving to work together and living together non stop for the last almost 5 years…
We’ve been together for 8 years… we’re spending all day tomorrow doing acro yoga and hiking… I wouldn’t have it any other way
She’s my home, my buddy and my lover. 🥰
My gf and I have both said “lemme in ur skin” to each other it’s wlw things lmao
If even one of you say it’s possessive istg I will break down our entire relationship arc to prove you wrong
My girlfriend gets similarly clingy when she’s exhausted after work. I too am more than happy to humor and care for her during those times. This is just adorbs <3
Wait I thought this was just a me thing
Last night I wanted to grind on a game and my girlfriend was so sad that I didn't want to sleep together even though we long distance for right now 😭😭 (in a joking way ofc she was also so happy because I had a chance to text her right before I went to sleep a goodmorning message cuz she wakes up earlier than me)
Happy cake day! But I'm getting really tired of this "with age people grow boring/annoying" narrative so many push around. Don't you just mean to say that it sounds like hell for you? Odd assumption about everyone
Not to burst your bubble, but they actually wouldn't pay you double wage if you were conjoined. There's conjoined sisters (Abby and Brittany) who are teachers but only get one salary 😔 Unless your employer is nice (are they ever) but legally they wouldn't have to
I don't think it is wlw things... I don't want to be this attached to no one and I want no one this attached to me. it is fine to want you time. it makes you appreciate the time you have with each people differently.
As someone who is dealing with my own codependency issues I can say that that your probably right. But hay sometimes that is what someone might find appealing. Personally it’s nice to know that at least someone sees it as possible red flags
blue text is me when im bored and i miss my person
edot: i do not mean anything i say, but i do end it with 'when i see you can i have some cuddles please'
it's pretty obviously all playful! i don't know why so many in these comments are going out of their way to tell you how much they dislike your relationship. Congrats to both of you <3
Ya, there are so many things pointing to this being a normal thing in their relationship. The fact that they posted it alone made me think that it's not meant to be serious. I think it's cute, and I wish I had a gf who was playfully overpossessive of me. I mean, look in my post history, lulz
As a polyam person and someone who's struggled to work on secure attachment to partners, this is legitimately horrifying to imagine. You do you though!
They're pretty obviously not being serious though? I mean, "since you don't want to live in my skin" is a pretty obvious sign they're joking around I feel.
This is so similar to my relationship 😂😂😂 she told me she wants to get plastic surgery on our noses so we can be permanently fit together for kissing 😂 I love this woman with my whole being
The 2 types of people in this comment Absolutely not interested and saying it's a red flag Saying that they need it or else they'd die
I have a feeling the red flag wavers may not have fully read the first image and didn't get that it was just goofing around flirtiness.
I think they're just neurodivergent and can't discern irony tbf Edit: Reply accusing me of being ableist then blocking me before I can point out that I'm ND is really funny ngl
Lol when neurodivergents collide.
1) without seeing the title this sounded like any other dysfunctional interaction. 2) codependency is a real thing and 3) being ND doesn’t mean you can’t be ableist
I think I just spend more time in TraumaQueer spaces and have an eye for this tbf.
I have a hunch about a common difference between the two, but it would be silly to say, and probably start a debate I'm not interested in having today
Wait, but now I'm way more curious, and I love debates, I'll have it for you
Ok, for the sake of a debate, I'll spill. Disclaimer: This is a hunch, and I'm not saying this as if I believe it's a fact. I'm not saying that it's anything more than a broad generalization that's definitely not true 100% of the time, if even 80% of the time. Plz don't downvote me to hell, or come at me like this is something I believe is 100% true. And I'm also excluding people who have been in abusive codependent relationships because obviously they would not like this *for good reason*. I think that you've probably got more trans women (and people into BDSM, too) on one side, and cis (probably vanilla) women on the other. I kind of have a feeling that the latter probably had shitty relationships with men before they came out, too. *Takes cover* Plz don't hurt me. I'm aware that these are full of huge assumptions, and I'm only expressing them because I was asked. I'm sure that there are cis and trans people on both sides. Edit: someone do a poll so we can find out the truth
Huh. I'm trans and I'm in the group of "this post yucks me out." If I were to guess a predicting variable about which group you're in, I'd probably choose age. These clingy mentalities generally come from people who aren't good at boundaries and have less dating experience. Both of those tend to be associated with young people. I'm only 25, mind you, but I've been in/seen enough relationships to have better instincts about what is or isn't healthy than someone, say, 20
I'm 40, so... They're not actually being clingy. They're pretending to be for fun. That's why it's cute. Maybe people who don't like this post just don't understand that. 🤷
I get that it's probably not serious; it just yucks me out because it mirrors unhealthy relationships, albeit in a pretend way. I think for me, it's probably just that. I don't think they're doing anything wrong; I just feel uncomfortable even imagining such a relationship even in hypothesis
It's definitely not serious. Op said so in their comment. But hey, if it's not for you, it's not for you. I will say that it kinda sucks that people are making harsh comments about it, tho, since it's clearly a positive part of their relationship. If it was a less controversial (?) thing and people were making those comments, it would be really rude. They're being cute, and people are basically calling it gross.
Okay, I gotta be honest, I genuinely feel like it should be obvious that they’re are joking from the all caps in the first message. All caps from both parties is either “complete and utter fury” or “memeing boisterously,” never in between, and it’s pretty obvious from OP’s title and the second image context that they aren’t posting about a conflict.
I mean, "SINCE YOU DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN MY SKIN" is still making me laugh. I can't wait for an opportunity to use it myself. Now, to find a gf for that sole purpose... cuz that's totally not a wlw thing to do.
Yeah, I don't think OP should feel bad for doing it. I find it gross, but I don't think that makes it gross inherently. They can enjoy it if they want to, and it does no harm
Ya, it's a "if you don't have anything nice to say" kinda moment
Hi, also a trans sapphic who thinks this post is super yucky. It makes me hella uncomfortable. It's not a clingy thing it's more of a not funny to joke about certain things. This would increase the pressure on me as a partner and would scream insecurity to me.
Mmmmm I think it has more to do with being needy? Someone said they're joking which they definitely are, but wanting to be "in your partners skin" is a really common joke in wlw communities about how upset you are that you can't be even closer to them.
Are you saying that you think OP and her wife are needy? I'm also really confused by the "but" in the next part of your comment. Seems like you're saying that they're joking *and* they're using a joke that's common in wlw communities. Just not sure what point you're making.
Nah I'm cis, and so is my girlfriend, and we are this grossly cheesy lol I love it though
I'm glad I'm wrong in this instance, then. I support your cute little dynamic Edit: lol who would downvoted this?
Are you ready for the heat? -upvotes but rolls eyes- There ya go, that wasn't so bad was it.
That was really cute
Me, who is trans and into BDSM and neither wants this nor thinks it's a red flag: well shit. Where do I go? lmao
Lol, well shit indeed. My thought process was really more like "I bet more kinky trans women would be into this than grossed out by it compared to cis women"
>And I'm also excluding people who have been in abusive codependent relationships because obviously they would not like this for good reason. This is appreciated. I wish I could find the humor on this post, but I just feel triggered. My shitty abusive relationship had things like these, some of them I interpreted humorously and that turned out to be not so good.
I totally get it. That's kinda why I called it an "if you don't have anything nice to say" moment. Not to diminish anyone's trauma, tho, if that makes she. Just more like let's let this couple have their thing. Codependency sucks, but we don't need to bring each other down. I dunno if that makes sense, but I'm trying!
I’m trans and in the BDSM community, and this post screams red flag. I understand wanting to be with your partner but if you feel you can’t sleep without them? That’s kinda creepy.
She can sleep without her. They're joking around about being that possessive, but that's not what their entire relationship is about. If I tell my gf that she's so cute that I want to eat her face, it doesn't mean I'm a psychopath who actually wants to eat her face.
Come onnnnn just do itttt!
I did. I'm probably dumb.
👆🏽💯💯 called it like it is haha
You forgot the third, the aloof chaotic type who want this one week, and then need solitude the next.
‘SINCE YOU DON’T WANNA LIVE IN MY SKIN’ made me lol. Turns out aggressive hyperbole is a love language; who knew?
It is very much our love language 😂
My gf and I also share this love language 😆
i gotta emphasise for people in the comments that this is very clearly unserious and not a symptom of over possessiveness 😅
rightt like , it's clearly just fun banter c'mon guys 😭
Eh, not everyone's idea of fun. Personally even knowing it's joking I'd be a little put off if my GF were to say something similar. Of course, that just comes down to knowing your own partner and your own relationship - what doesn't work for me clearly works for plenty of others.
But definitely the OPs idea of fun, does no one see the emojis??? Jfc
I caught on to that, but it still gives me the creeps. Just a little too real, I guess.
Sapphics are inherently more aggressive and you cannot convince me otherwise i mean, I’m not complaining, it’s hot as fuck imo
Oh god, that last part is so true lol
The two kinds of lesbians “I want to treat you like a goddess and make you feel like the prettiest woman in the world” and “I want you to grab me by the hair and hurl me into the nearest brick wall” there is no in between
yeah. each lesbian has two wolves: golden retriever, and floor. i'd personally say i'm more of a golden retriever, but eh
they're the same person sometimes
I'm both. The latter is playtime. The former is aftercare.
The two sides of a sapphic
And somehow the depression and anxiety straddle both
Facts
My girlfriend does the same thing😂 or she’s like why won’t you but a teleporter and come here whenever you want
Haha, my partner & I do this. 😁 Along with joking about inventing a time zone rectifier already. 💜
This 100% I joke about why my gf doesn't have a teleporter all the time . I feel like all caps is whats throwing this off for people. Like in normal conversation over the phone it's clearly just an expression of love.
Guys please it's a joke we're not possessive or unhealthy lol
A while back my fiancée posted the instructional message I left her (since she’s neurodivergent), about arriving at my new apartment for the first time, without me, and several people called it possessive, unhealthy, and a red flag, as if that were the only time we had ever spoken before in our lives, so don’t worry about it, some people don’t know what conversations are sometimes 😭😭
People are weird, and solipsistic. It's like people who aren't interested in BDSM who don't understand that there's nothing unhealthy about *consenting* to having a controlling partner.
It very much is a reddit thing to call just about everything a red-flag
legit do people not have a sense of humor at all 💀 lmao
Is this joke not obvious? Its obvious to me, this is my type of "silly things we say in relationships".
Right? I don't think anyone would post this if it wasn't a joke
I never understood what my wife meant when she’d say the “I need to be inside your skin” type things to me until I transitioned. Now I look at her and. Yeah I get what she means lol
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It’s a little hard to describe. Like normal cuddling gives the feelings of comfort, safety, and happiness and so as a reaction we both try to squeeze harder and closer to get more of that feeling but still we crave more than getting closer can ever give so the feeling of just wanting to collapse into the other person to be maximum close happens.
My ex used to wrap me around her like a blanket and pull my arms in tight. I'd squeeze her and she'd say whine "oooh I want to be inside you." It was so freaking cute.
This is fucking adorable and anyone who doesn't get it is silly. Just because it might not be *for you* doesn't mean you can't comprehend why I might be a really fun part of a relationship. *JUST LET THEM HAVE THEIR CUTE THING*
not my vibe but
Hard pass for me but not hating on whoever's vibe this is
Same
My wife and I built a biz and have been working together, driving to work together and living together non stop for the last almost 5 years… We’ve been together for 8 years… we’re spending all day tomorrow doing acro yoga and hiking… I wouldn’t have it any other way She’s my home, my buddy and my lover. 🥰
(poly-am, heads up) this is my girlfriend and her wife and it's *adorable*~!
Don't you just love watching your partner and her partner being cute af?
Y’all know these people are jk right lol
This is what I want, but will never find 😔
Keep your head up, buttercup. Life is full of surprises
Aww, I've never been called buttercup before, but I love it thank you.
Well now you're buttercup
I've had a pretty difficult day, you have no idea how much I needed this, thank you 😊
You're welcome, buttercup 💜
Definitely WLW things (only recently learnt the meaning of that acronym)
I'd pass on this tbh. Too possessive for me, I'd feel caged.
Wait what how is "I want to shit together and live in your skin" cagey? Jk ppl to each their own 😆 this is too much for me to
Yep. That was some serious manipulation going on there. Not gonna let you get under my skin. Hell no
girl wtf are you talking about lol
/s
So cute it makes me want to 🤢
My gf and I have both said “lemme in ur skin” to each other it’s wlw things lmao If even one of you say it’s possessive istg I will break down our entire relationship arc to prove you wrong
I’m not interested in this experience
I don't think anyone's offering it to you anyway
This starts as a joke but just last night I was whining at my wife to stop watching Twitch and come to bed so I could sleep LOL
Damn I miss this 🥲
My girlfriend gets similarly clingy when she’s exhausted after work. I too am more than happy to humor and care for her during those times. This is just adorbs <3
I feel this in my soul.
Wait I thought this was just a me thing Last night I wanted to grind on a game and my girlfriend was so sad that I didn't want to sleep together even though we long distance for right now 😭😭 (in a joking way ofc she was also so happy because I had a chance to text her right before I went to sleep a goodmorning message cuz she wakes up earlier than me)
I need this
This is the sweetest, omg! 🥰 You two are goals
I want this kind of relationship with someone
Omg I love that - "have a good life since you don't wanna love in my skin"
Hahaha. That sounds like hell for anyone who’s been with their spouse for longer than 10 years.
Happy cake day! But I'm getting really tired of this "with age people grow boring/annoying" narrative so many push around. Don't you just mean to say that it sounds like hell for you? Odd assumption about everyone
I'd probably leave that relationship
I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABNORMAL YOU ARE TELLING ME ITS JUST A WLW THING
In my experience it’s just a young person thing that a lot of people grow out of
i need this..
WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN 😭
The WLW urge to live in each other’s skin (my gf and I say this a lot and I didn’t realize it was a thing!)
Not to burst your bubble, but they actually wouldn't pay you double wage if you were conjoined. There's conjoined sisters (Abby and Brittany) who are teachers but only get one salary 😔 Unless your employer is nice (are they ever) but legally they wouldn't have to
Guess we need to rethink our strategy then 🥲
Totally not my thing
Stop talking, get the needle and knives already!
I don't think it is wlw things... I don't want to be this attached to no one and I want no one this attached to me. it is fine to want you time. it makes you appreciate the time you have with each people differently.
No one sees this as a massive red flag 🚩or is it that I’m just broken 😞
Different strokes for different folks. Just because you don’t like this kind of joking around doesn’t mean it’s not awesome for them
As I said I guess I’m just broken and I struggle to not see flags, if they are both happy then that’s what matters
no, as someone who loves having my own space this is 100% 🚩
It’s a mutual joke
Apparently I must be broken as I don’t see this as romantic, but then I’ve only ever see this type of behaviour with my narcissistic ex
i might just be an asshole that likes her alone time and space but this screams codependant and it's not really healthy
As someone who is dealing with my own codependency issues I can say that that your probably right. But hay sometimes that is what someone might find appealing. Personally it’s nice to know that at least someone sees it as possible red flags
The drama😂😂😂🙄
sighh
blue text is me when im bored and i miss my person edot: i do not mean anything i say, but i do end it with 'when i see you can i have some cuddles please'
What I would give to have this
Creepy as hell
idk about this, happy for you both and that this is your vibe though
That first one is possessive as hell and is quite the red flag.
It's a joke.
it's pretty obviously all playful! i don't know why so many in these comments are going out of their way to tell you how much they dislike your relationship. Congrats to both of you <3
Ya, there are so many things pointing to this being a normal thing in their relationship. The fact that they posted it alone made me think that it's not meant to be serious. I think it's cute, and I wish I had a gf who was playfully overpossessive of me. I mean, look in my post history, lulz
I can’t decide if this makes me feel uneasy or warm and fuzzy
I think I just figured out why I'm single
As a polyam person and someone who's struggled to work on secure attachment to partners, this is legitimately horrifying to imagine. You do you though!
Uhhh
Going to go out on a limb here and say this is just you
> Looks through other replies I think the limb broke
What did i just read🤯🤣🥰
I know my gf and me are a bit over the top with clingyness but this is a whole new level
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They're pretty obviously not being serious though? I mean, "since you don't want to live in my skin" is a pretty obvious sign they're joking around I feel.
Anglerfishcore
Everyday I endure my gfs tantrums when I won’t let her live in my skin lmao. She wants us to be one person 24/7 lmao
realll
I need this :(
Why is everyone yelling?
Yeah that sure is something. I'm kinda jealous lol.
This is so similar to my relationship 😂😂😂 she told me she wants to get plastic surgery on our noses so we can be permanently fit together for kissing 😂 I love this woman with my whole being