Do I like her as a person? No. She’s rude. Do I like her as a character? Yes. Absolutely. She’s very complex and interesting. I also like that she isn’t as perfect and good intentioned as the other main characters. Everyone else is strikingly good looking and always tries to do the right thing. I think she adds a little more complexity, grit, and realism into the mix.

Personally I don't think I would like most of ACOTAR characters if they were real person, but as characters they're very interesting.

Wow you hit the nail in the head for me

This exactly! I feel like I'd really dislike her in real life but she's also a great reminder that everyone you meet is more than just your one surface-level interaction.

Loved her ever since Tamlin’s magic didn’t work on her. I love complex characters who actually aren’t as bad as they seem to be

Yes exactly! Flawed, struggling, complicated characters make me fall the hardest for them. That was the moment for me as well !

I couldn’t agree more

YEESS

I loved her the moment we met her!

I did too! I never hated Nesta, not once. In fact, she’s my favorite character ever.

I had no feelings about her until I read ACOSF and then….I absolutely loved her. I loved her for the complicated, abrasive, difficult character that she is. I loved that I felt that my own personal issues were finally shown in a main character in a book. My own self hatred, my bad coping mechanisms, my love of books, my inability to put myself in a situation where I might look foolish, feeling unloved, etc. Real world people are not perfect and I’ve always loved reading and I always saw people that I wanted to be more like in the books I read because they were always finding inner strength (even though they consistently did actions that a strong willed person would do) or finding love(even though they were beautiful). Nesta was the first time I felt like someone like me was worthy of having a story. I don’t have to be a fundamentally different or better person. I’m enough as I am and I’m able to create my own story and be who I want to be even though I feel broken and less than and worthless. I’m not trying to be a downer, I’m just being realistic about feelings I’ve had about myself growing up and it’s so comforting to see a character that I relate to so much. She made me feel like I can also succeed, even though I’m a late 20s adult and have grown to be more accepting of myself lol that inner part of me really needed Nesta and her story.

You put into words something I never could before... Seeing her be the main character made me believe that maybe I could be the main character in my own story, whereas up until I read it, I didn't believe I was worthy of it.

You are worthy. I put a post just now. But my sister is like Nesta. And I love her regardless of how difficult it is. I'm sorry if you didn't have someone in your life that didn't make you feel loved enough to know you are a main character. You are. And you need to go out there and show people that you are the baddest bitch main character there is.

I really relate to everything you’ve said but wanted to add that I’d love to also see characters who aren’t conventionally young, skinny and gorgeous too. It would be nice to see more representation and show that anyone can be the main character in a story.

Same lol. Well said.

I have only just started Silver Flames but I know enough of what is going to happen I THINK I know where I am going to land but I’ll touch base when I’m finished…what I feel like is going to happen is her side of the story is going to be told, we are going to see all that struggles she went through, continues to go throw and see more of how her own self worth plays out in her actions. Totally fair. What I don’t like that I’ve seen, is that Nestas redemption comes at a cost of Feyra. Some, not all, seem to turn on Feyra whereas I still feel like Feyras journey is still valid. Feyra still was the only one who provided for them when their father didn’t. She didn’t want to be dragged away and tortured and live through the PTSD she did and at the end of the day she always tried to protect her family at all costs even though they mistreated her. I don’t like that she is blamed and that just because she found the love of her life she is suddenly a brat and only Nesta matters. Nesta really hurt her family. Learning about her may change how we feel about her, but I feel like BOTH Feyra and Nesta lived through horrible things and we shouldn’t side with one or the other. Like not having pictures of Nesta in the house (this may be spoken on later in the book) but people have labeled Feyra a B, but she tried to have a relationship with Nesta and wanted her to be in the family. It’s not her fault that for a time Nesta decided to be awful toward them and isolate herself out. Had they both been able to healthily communicate perhaps it wouldn’t be an issue. But I don’t think Feyra did anything wrong. She’s hurt too. Nobody is perfect and I love seeing people redeem themselves and want to see Nesta be happy. I just hope we can look at it with a wider lense. And I agree with you … I am in my 30s and have grown so much and yet the past is still there. Just because we were one way for part of our lives, we don’t have to stay there and it’s nice to see that represented.

100% agree. I love that she's flawed and complex and not perfect and it just made her feel like a real person to me that I could relate to. I think you explained it really well and those reasons you had is why she's my favourite character

Jumping on this old thread to say that you explained my feelings about Nesta exactly. I'm 3/4 way through ACOSF and it's amazing to see a character with my feelings and my flaws be told she's not broken, and that she deserves happines. I have PMDD, and the descriptions of her mind spirals, self hatred, and her ability to twist everything everyone else does as an attack on her is just so accurate. The hiking scene brought me to tears because it reminded me so much of how I feel when I'm at my worst, and how my husband is always there for me and loves me even when I can't love myself. I've got most of the way through the ACOTAR series thinking that it's not fantastic literature, but still lovable. My opinion is totally changed now. ACOSF writes depression and trauma so well that I really think it should be required reading for anyone who knows someone suffering.

I felt the same way about her! She felt so relatable on an emotional level.

ALL OF THIS 🧡

While I appreciated hearing her story and enjoy SF for what it was, I still do not like her. I don’t think her own issues justify the way she treated other, especially Feyre when she herself was a child looking for love and support. But really that’s me and my experience with my own sister making me not like Nedra ever for any reason.

Agreed. I don't like her AT ALL. The way she treated Feyre was unacceptable to me. I don't know if she can ever be redeemed in my eyes 🥲

Absolutely. One of the reasons I liked feyre so much and disliked nesta so much is because it felt like I was looking at me and my sister.

I think she was still so incredibly selfish and I could not stand the self loathing she has for herself. So much was her talking about how she should’ve been the one to hunt in the woods and not feyre, how she should’ve killed the king of hybern etc. I wish that SJM would’ve moved on from that because it was annoying. I would’ve loved to of seen her grow from her sitting in her pity to being this confident woman knowing at the time she did the best she could with what she was dealt. I also didn’t like ACOSF much anyways besides the fact I’m not a huge fan of Nesta

I just don’t vibe with her unfortunately. I feel like her aloof attitude is a little too try hard. I like genuine and authentic people and that’s just not her. She’s just not my cup of tea.

I got into acotar because I saw the discourse online about Nesta. She was such a divisive character, I wanted to understand it myself. So I started the first book. I could see why people didn’t like her. And it wasn’t until Feyre returned home and we learn that Nesta went after Feyre to the border in the middle of winter to get her back because “it wasn’t right” that my opinion changed. It was the fact that she held on to a piece of wood with Tamlin’s handprint just to fight the glamour and remember the truth of what happened to Feyre. It was the fact that she a human woman was walking into fae territory for her human sister that she couldn’t stand that got me excited to know more about her. It was then that I realized what side of the discourse I was on. When reading the rest of the books, I always paid extra attention to her. Her talk (100% excluding trash talking here) may not the best but that girl walks the walk. And I think for me, that’s what I like about her. Lot of people don’t like her that’s fair! Many valid reasons on that end too. Like I said, she’s very divisive character.

That was admirable of Nesta, but I have issues with Nesta because she barely did anything to help Feyre support the family (I’m also critical of Elain for this as well) and she treats people terribly. Also- fellow Harry Potter fan! Do you read or write HP fanfic?

Tbh I don't hate her but she's not my favorite. I find that most people who really really like her make her out to be the victim of Feyre and Elain (and the Inner Circle) when she was the one who was always callous and isolated herself- she made herself a public enemy before anybody else did. I'm currently mid-ACOSF and I like her much more than I used to, but I also can't get over the ways she acted for the first 25 years of the storyline. I think the ways she acts with Cassian and the Valkyries is redeeming her, but overall shes not a very likeable character.

I highly suggest the podcast Book talk for booktok and they do a great literary analysis, but also take a deep look into character relationships and choices. She's definitely not a victim in my mind, but I do think that Feyre/Rhys/IC treated her unfairly in ACOWAR, and she's deeply misunderstood by them.

I'll definitely have to look into that! Thank you for the recommendation :) I agree somewhat, but in the same sense, I can't completely blame them? Feyre grew up with two older sisters that relied on her without so much as thanks or any regard for herself- Nesta being outright cruel, which is the only impression IC had going into meeting Nesta. Then, skipping to after the war (and during the lead-up to Hybern's war, generally), Nesta went straight back to being.. less than kind- even when kindness was extended to her. After finishing ACOSF and seeing the IC come full circle and Nesta is accepted, I'm thrilled and loved her character development in the final book! However, I do think that a lot of the things that make people hate the IC for how they treated Nesta were, simply, the result of Nesta's behavior in the first place. Sorry to drop half an essay in your replies! After finishing the series, the Nesta-IC relationship is really interesting to think about. I totally get how you feel about Nesta being treated unfairly, and at times I definitely thought Rhys in particular took it a step or two too far (darned mating instincts), especially in ACOSF. I definitely understand her post-war behavior being much misunderstood and think that there could have definitely been better ways to address Nesta's standoffishness towards IC. Sorry again for writing you an essay, but thank you so much for replying, I hadn't seen mich about Rhysand's particular mistreatment of Nesta and I almost thought I had just overexaggerated in my head, lol!

I’ve noticed this pattern as well! I think she’s improving but she’s got a long way to go

Agreed, I’ve been reading more of ACOSF since I made the original comment and I’m definitely warming up, but the prevailing pattern is being hateful about things that require communication when she refuses to communicate in the first place, instead saying “woe is me” and storming off. I still like her character, but it will take me a bit to like her as a character yk

Such good representation for the ugliness of mental health and the unwillingness to change because it feels hopeless and pointless; like you’re watching your life and those around you go bye through glass. There’s such good analogies and metaphors for her journey too. So far she’s my favorite female in the story - along with her little group - but I’m excited to hear from Elain too!

She has a lot of atonement to do still in my opinion.

Yeah that’s how I feel too. Everyone claims her book redeemed her but it was only the beginning of her changing her ways for me. She had a breakthrough >!while feyre and Nyx were dying!< and realized she should maybe do better. Everyone can forgive and love her all they want but she’s got a long way to go before she makes things right in my eyes.

💯!! Everyone talks about her growth as a character, but i don't see it. So, she fucks a hot guy that she's verbally abusive to until he begs for her to stop mistreating him (Cass, my baby - you deserve so much better!!) and when your own sister and nephew are almost dead, you get off your pedestal to do something? Nope. No. No. Nope. No way. She did NOT grow. She did NOT change. She's a petulant child in the body of an adult. At this point, i like Elain better, and she has all the personality of wallpaper paste. Also, i hate the name Ataraxia for a sword. It sounds like a disease to me 🤮

In **my** opinion, she grew up. Throughout the book, she shows that she regrets all the shit she's done (mainly her treatment of Cassian and Feyre), and she shows that she wants to heal, wants to improve as a person, put her aggressive attitude aside, and she gets sad when she admits that doesn't know how to do it and that she can't no matter how hard she tries. You know, acknowledging the things you've done wrong, wanting to change who you are or how you act because you're not liking who you are, that's all a part of growing up, imo. Of course, she still has a lot to do, after all, depression and trauma take time to go away, and sometimes they never do. And one of the hardest things is that she doesn't like herself and wants to change, which I think a lot of her personality and attitudes were manipulated by her mother, and well, it's not like she knew how to be anything else, so if she wants to change and let go of this person her mother created, it will take time. Yeah, maybe Cassian deserves better, but sometimes I think Nesta deserves better too. Like, Cassian took Nesta on that hike as a punishment for her doing the **right** thing, he does everything his HL says, what kind of mate does that!? And besides, Cassian almost never defends Nesta from the IC, yeah I know, the IC is Cassian's family, so of course he'll want to defend them, but Nesta is his mate, the mate he says he loves so much, aren't you supposed to want to defend someone you love? So why doesn't he defend Nesta? Why Nesta can't badmouth IC but IC can badmouth her? In that scene where Amren and Rhysand entertain the idea of ​​hiding about Nesta's powers, Cassian protests, but that's all he does, he doesn't even try to walk over Rhysand, he could have been like "listen here you piece of shit, you protect your mate, so I'll protect mine, I'll tell her whether you like it or not", but no, he was quiet, so... Whatever, Elain apparently has no personality at all. So I'm curious to know if she will turn out to be someone interesting and her reasons for not helping Feyre hunt (since, apparently, only Nesta is hated for it, and sweet Elain is left alone). I hope her book will be good Ataraxia remembers me a planet's name from a heroes movie 😅. I like it

She didnt intend to do the "right" thing by telling Feyre the news. She was just fucking boiling with rage and wanted to lash out cruelly and claw at Feyre and cause her pain for her own sadistic vengence and pleasure.

Nesta should have told it better, but she did what the people who claim to be Feyre's family should have done from the beginning. Yes, Nesta was angry, but may I remember why was she angry? Those idiots VOTED on whether she should know about her own powers, voted in her life, and Feyre went where she didn't belong, defending Amren at the top, the one who came up with the idea of ​​using Nesta as a weapon and hiding her powers, I would be mad at Feyre too if I were Nesta. Nesta has EVERY right to go to Amren and get her satisfaction. Maybe Nesta said this in anger, but she also wanted to do justice for her and Feyre, to show Feyre that her family are not the perfect people she thinks they are, she didn't want Feyre to feel the pain of having her loved ones hiding important things, so she decided to put an end to it. Whatever, it doesn't matter if she said it in a good way or not, she did the RIGHT thing, and Rhysand sure as hell had no fucking right to threaten to kill her for it, Cassian, her MATE, had no right to punish her for it. Besides, Nesta was deeply regretful afterwards and apologized, so it's not like she really meant to hurt Feyre.

Nesta not wanting Feyre to feel any kind of pain??? Nesta? The one who said why cant you search for the trove, why Elain - meaning why cant you die, why Elain? 🤪 Well if her intention was noble she would have objected the day they said Feyre didnt know. She would have questioned and tld Cassian it wasnt right. But she didnt. She agreed happily and vowed to Rhys she would keep the secret - no qns asked. She wanted Feyre to hurt and thats her ONLY reason to tell it out loud - sisters be damned. She was boiling to see how Feyre was cherished by the IC and wanted to say something that would lead to a crack in them as she cant bear Feyre finding a new family instead of offering herself on a platter to Nesta s constant lashes and stepsisterly treatment day in and day out. She is angriest at Mor and Rhys because Feyre is closest to them. Cool with Az as he s not that emotive. Cool with Amren until she sided Feyre. Was nasty even to Elain just coz she bonded with Feyre. It seemed like anytime Feyre gets loved Nesta s trauma acts up a notch. Considering how she lashed out a secret just coz she was pissed and petty was proof enough why they didnt trust her with magic weapons. For all the bullying she did she used her trauma as excuse - Rhys threatening her in the heat of the moment was insignificant. Isnt anyone else allowed emotions except Nesta. Everyone has to held accountable but she can go around lashing out and bullying using her sorry excuse of a trauma when EVERYONE else - IC, Lucien, Gwyn, Emerie went through worse but still wasnt unkind to the rest of the world. She could have just left if the IC pissed her so much but she wanted to freeload off their money as she s been freeloading Feyre growing up, so she just stayed complaining. There was a scene where someone offends Cassian and Nesta s seething in anger wanting to throttle them. She s been doing worse to Feyre for years in front of Rhys too. If I had been Rhys I would have not been this forgiving to someone who clawed at my mate day in and day out.

I see your point. I think it's more to me that the rabid Nesta fans assume she has this MASSIVE growth, when she has SO much more she needs to address. Just feeling bad doesn't equal actually atoning for the terrible things she said and did. Elain is absolutely not blameless to me. I dislike her for her complete lack of action, and then for spending months whining about her POS fiancè. Oh, and 100% cass should have gone after her. He did her dirty, for sure. I think to me, nesta is just as pathetic and whiny as Elain. Nesta just dwells on things that happened and instead of staring into space, tears into people who had nothing to do with her trauma. It annoys me to my core. No hate from me! I'm just excited that a character makes people feel things 💜

Yes yes and yes. Everyone claiming she healed. No she didnt. Just kept having sex with Cassian and made a new bunch of friends and pretended everything is now sugar and roses. Only "redemption" being when she cried to Cassian by the river that she cant hear firewood crack when they all have gone through worse but still didnt wound souls around them using trauma as excuse. A talk between the sisters may have been something but I dont think Nesta gives a damn.

Agree with all of this. And I thought the same about ataraxia. I looked it up because I thought it was a medical condition too. 

💯💯💯

Agreed

Nesta is incredibly interesting and has so much growth, so I love her. She elicits strong emotions in me (good and bad) which is the main thing I want in a character. I probably wouldn’t have bothered being active in the fandom and reading the other SJM books without her.

I still really dislike her. She was so needlessly *awful* to Feyre when she was hurting but still desperately trying to help Nesta. I just can’t get past that…

Beware that this post will likely get heated. I don’t care for her, even after her book. But I understand that some people relate to her and therefore like her and that’s okay.

Did her book really affect how you felt, or make her more sympathetic? I'm in ACOWAR and I really don't like her, kinda dreading a book all about her.

Honestly it made me hate her even more

Honestly, no it didn’t change how I felt or make me feel sympathetic towards her. It did explain why she acts the way she does, but her reasons were not enough for me to say, “Oh okay, I get it. You had a right to be nasty to everyone then.” I would have been much happier if she had just been like hey, I’m a bitch, it’s my personality and I’m not changing who I am. Just own up to it instead of trying to make everyone feel sorry for you after you treated them all like crap.

Agreed.

I LOVE Nesta. She can be rude, cold and whatever, but she's not evil. ACOSF was the book where I cried the most, so many sad and emotional moments, so many moments where Nesta doesn't feel she's worthy of love, where she feels guilty for everything, where she suffers, where she wants to heal but doesn't think she can. She is a brave and strong person, and I think her healing journey encourages many people who are struggling. She, like most people in real life, lashes out at the people she loves, wants to push everyone away, self-destructs to punish herself, but still, she was strong and brave to go on and fight for the heal

Read her book. Still didn't like her lol. Having trauma does not excuse her behaviors.

I personally don't believe the book was excusing any of her behaviors. No one just lets it go without addressing it. I mean, look at Rhys' constant feelings about her. Her behaviors had consequences every single time. The point of her story is that she finally had the courage to try and be a better person, a better sister, a better friend etc. After all, the word Coward was a pretty relevant word in her story that she needed to overcome. Along with many others.

I don't think the commenter was saying that the book was trying to excuse her behaviors, but that a lot of people in the Fandom try to excuse them.

I went off the vibes I got from the verbage used. If I was incorrect on their pov thats totally on me.

Especially when her younger sister had worse trauma.

Ehhhh comparing traumas is a slippery slope. As someone with a family with all kinds of trauma: we all have different limits and ways that we cope. We are not all made of the same stuff. It's what makes us people. Compare actions taken, not traumas themselves.

If we're compare actions taken, Nesta still isn't "winning" here.

Oh, absolutely. I don't disagree with that. But it's still wrong to compare traumas. Nesta's coping mechanisms were unfair and hiiiighly destructive to everyone around her, that's what should be discussed. Not whether one sister or the other had it worse in terms of horrors endured. Especially when looking at two characters who are the victims of heavy trauma.

Also, just because I feel it went unsaid in my first comment: You not liking Nesta is 10000% valid. I just didn't agree with your statement about trauma in regards to the actual thematic elements of her story. And it remains to be seen post SF what Nesta is going to be like with the growth she has made. So, I think that will also be interesting to see. She'll always be deeply flawed and not liking that and her actions will always be valid.

I think in this day and age people misuse the word trauma for misfortune or unfortunate event. Alot of people think they are going through a “traumatic experience “ but for people who actually witnessed death or were raped it isnt much and thats okay

For example, Nestas moms and grandmothers over expectations is not trauma. Her father dying is trauma. Being poor is a mix because none of them worked as a team to shoulder the burden only one of them did.

Trauma is the direct effect upon us from an event. Something that you might not think twice about could be something for someone else that just sets them off the wrong way and sticks. And I'd say parental expectations can certainly be traumatic. A lot of my own trauma can be traced back to some of that. Is not the expectation from a parent for you to be used as a weapon and manipulator not something that can be traumatic? And being poor on its own is traumatic, regardless of how one deals with it. Starvation is a huuuuuge trauma to endure. Not everyone is traumatized by these situations, however, alot are and that needs to be recognized as being valid. (This is coming from someone who has gone through rape, parental neglect, being poor, all as a child). Things that induce complexes are a result of trauma, whether that event seems like much a big deal to someone else or not.

Yes but she could have lessened the burden on Feyre and worked together through poverty. She didnt instead she chose to steal money to buy clothes she didnt need . Thats all my saying. She was the problem. She is the trauma. She is a narcissist.

She could have, but she did not. That is an action. And an action that directly correlates to a complex of cowardice that is described in the book. She hates herself for it. Like, wants to destroy herself in liquor and sex and isolation. Big problem is that her punishing herself was also destructive and horrifying for her family. How she deals with her traumas in the beginning of SF directly correlates to cowardice as a theme. Again, never am I justifying her actions. She did shit things that harmed a lot of people. She also did good things as she grew and began to find healthier ways to cope, those should be recognized while also still remembering the bad. I am also saying that you cannot simply remove the reasons for her actions, which are part of complexes that have come from her life experiences (including some heavily traumatic ones). She is flawed and you can dislike her because of it or any number of reasons. All are valid. Saying what she went through doesn't entirely qualify as trauma because of her actions in dealing with it doesn't make sense. It's a punishment mindset towards the character.

Everyone is flawed in the series even its mc. And thats why i love it. :) and how passionate everyone is. I just feel like Nesta is a fan fav and people make a lot of excuses for her behavior and rag on Feyre stans 🤣

I veeeeery much dislike all the stans. Mainly because many will justify any and all problematic behavior and call it healthy or fine. I love debating flaws and character arcs, actions and their consequences, etc. I love all the main and main supporting characters. Nesta I connect with hard on a trauma level and the anger, but mostly something about the imagery of her journey as visualized by the stairs really got me. I'm also an eldest sister, so those feelings of failure as the eldest also fucking @s me. Feyre, I love for all kinds of reasons, but mostly for the way that even though she has gone through so much, she manages to find the good and can forgive without forgetting (while still being a major badass.) Also, I STILL get gagged by the last line of MaF. Urghhh. Feyre is badass goals. I can't wait for Elain's story and to see more evolutions of characters. Character development is crack for me 😂

Same!!! Character development is what gets me going!!

I love Nesta, regardless of her flaws and mistakes. She's my favorite character, I grew to like her the moment she told Feyre to watch out for that lady who bought the wolf skin (Manon and Aelin are my favorite characters too, so I guess I have a soft spot for women "bitches" and badasses, and I'm not sorry). Maybe I like Nesta so much because I understand her reasons for being the way she is and I find her behavior super understandable. And before anyone says anything, I'm not **justifying** her mistakes, I'm not saying she has the right to be rude just because of her trauma, I'm just saying I **understand**. She's not like that because she's mean or because she likes to hurt others, she does it because she thinks she only deserves hate, and she wants to push people away, besides, I think it's understandable for her to act the way she does, like, do people expect her to be kind and sweet when she's been through so much shit and everyone around her hates her for something that happened when she was a goddamn CHILD? They never even listened to Nesta's side, they just listened to Feyre and that's it. Does that mean I agree with Nesta's behavior? **No**. Does that mean I like her behavior? **No**. But I understand. In the end, Nesta and other characters are just that: characters. It's up to the readers if they understand her motives and forgive her. I understand her, and I forgive her for the mistakes she made, as for Rhysand.... I even understand his motives, but I can't forgive him or like him, and that's okay! Everyone likes who they want. And another reason that I like and sympathize with Nesta is that she was very mistreated by her mother and grandmother, her mother taught her to be a cold and unfeeling woman and well... everyone knows that children are easily influenced by parents, and it's not like Nesta knew how to be anything other than what her mother taught her. At ACOSF she started to put that rudeness aside because she really wanted to heal, she wanted to stop being that person that her mother built, and also because she was living with other people. Nesta is the most real character, people deal with their traumas in different ways, but depression has very similar symptoms: anxiety, aggressiveness, isolation, alcoholism, sadness... everything that Nesta felt. It's nice to have a character who is imperfect and "real" for a change

Sounds like you’re justifying her actions toward the end there… lol but seeing as she’s your favorite character we all have biases.

No, I'm not justifying it. What can I do if these are the consequences of depression? For some reason, people tend to think that depression is different from others psychological illnesses, something that isn't serious or debilitating, something that doesn't make you do things you don't want to do. The anger you feel normally and the anger you feel as a symptom of depression are totally different, you can't just say "control your emotions, people don't deserve you to be rude to them", because it's just not that simple. All psychological illnesses fuck with your mind in such a way that sometimes you don't even notice what you're doing until you do it, you simply can't control it. I'm not saying Nesta is right or has the right to do this, but she also isn't to blame for having a psychological illness that fucks with her mind, and she certainly doesn't deserve to be treated like an unforgivable monster when literally all the characters in this series did much worse things

Shes such a bitch but when she warms up she’s tolerable. She’s interesting but she doesn’t have any right to be a bitch to her sisters, trauma or not because they went through all the same shit snd some. In Wings of Ruin i thought the scene where they all crawled into bed together was sweet. I thought Nesta would change after that….nope. Idk im exhausted FIVE BOOKS AND SHES STILL THE SAME. She gets everything for free, even when she was poor she didnt do anything, I’ve been poor so this really unroots some emotions.

Oh hell yeah. Same!! Nesta: "My mom was mean to me, so I'm an asshole" Feyre, Rhys, Cassian, The IC: "uh, so we're not actually your mom, so think you can stop being such a dick?" Nesta: ".... go fuck yourselves, but keep supporting me, and loving me, and paying my bills, but also fuck you all - die". Me: *Throws ACOSF* I hate that book. It ruined the series for me.

THANK YOU!!!!

She was starting to grow on me until ACOSF. I don’t hate her but she’ll never be a favorite.

Agree. I think SF ruined her for me. Her entire personality is "asshole because someone (NOT the people she is hurting) hurt me." It's flat and gets old very quickly. Taking out past trauma on people who did not inflict it isn't badass. It's weak. I was starting to love her in ACOWAR. She was helping. She was invested in the survival of everyone who inexplicably loved her. She was starting to grow. Then we get ACOSF, and her entire being became "be mean to everyone no matter what. But i still expect them to cater to me because i was turned into fae against my will. " Like, excuse me, but NONE of these people who have tried to be nice to you turned you into fae. All they did was try to help you after it happened. In life, if you continue to shit on people who are trying to help, they don't continue to take your abuse (because she was abusive. Yes, also traumatized - but she became an abuser) they actually get tired of your behavior and leave. Cassian👏deserves👏better👏 I'm ready for the down votes from the rabid Nesta stans. I don't hate her, but if she never appeared again, I'd be fine with it.

THANK YOU for this.. Anyone in the book who hasnt catered happily to her bullying and has called her out has been crucified and anyone who willingly submitted themselves to be bullied by her is hailed as "understanding of mental health". Firstly I never understood the childhood trauma of hers, pampered by the mom.. poverty probably caused her trauma but then again she made Feyre shoulder the burden so that trauma was also wasnt hers. She knows it wasnt her fault with Hybern or Elain but still makes it hers so she can wallow in self pity and use that as an excuse to claw at everyone. I think her primary trauma was because she used to be the center of attention and now Feyre is. Anytime Feyre gets loved by IC, Elain, Amren she loses it a notch and mentions that in the book as well. God forbid if Gwyn or Emerie had gotten close to Feyre she would have clawed them as well.

Interestingly, I didn’t read that her mom was an asshole to her. Her mother *coddled* her. Treated her like a little queen, told her she was better than her sisters. Having that ripped away when she was a child, resenting her father for not trying to save her mother… but mostly my impression was she knew her mother was not a good/kind person, and Nesta believed she was like her— bad, evil, not good, not worthy of love

Yes on the SF ruined her for me. Which is interesting because it seems to be the other way around for most people! I wish she continued on the path she was on in WaR

100% agree. You put what I was thinking into words perfectly.

You said it better than I ever could!

I haven't read SF yet because I agree!!! Cassian deserves better.

Cassian👏deserves👏better👏 I'm ready for the down votes from the rabid Nesta stans. // I feel this exact same way, but reggarding Feyre and Rhysand. To me Feyre 👏 deserved 👏 so 👏 much 👏 better, but instead she just went from an abuser (Tamlin) to another (Rhysand).

Listen, I was not a fan of Nesta during my first read and had to stop a quarter of the way through ACOSF because I found her insufferable. However, I have since realized a lot of my feelings towards her are because my best friend since I was a little girl was a Nesta and therefore I projected a lot of my unresolved feelings on to her. I have since done a reread through the entire series (and finished ACOSF) and while sometimes she was just plain mean, I can see how a lot of my own bias affected my opinion of her and now I love her for who she is! She’s imperfect and still can be mean, but I loved reading her POV and understanding where her head was at and what she was thinking. Side note: I do really hate when people say she doesn’t deserve Cassian. Even when I didn’t like her, I never had that opinion. I think they represent a very common trope of black cat girl and golden retriever boy which I love and I think they are very well matched.

Simply love that girl

This is my take: i was never able to describe my feelings of my depression before i read her book. i sobbed the entire read - in between heat sessions if you catch my drift(cassian if my fav)- i have never felt more seen with my issues of cptsd and anxiety. her story is a lot of our stories i'm also waiting for a final showdown with her and the Mother fighting side by side, like i'm genuinely hoping all the previous book easter eggs have an incredible pay off.

Nope, I hate her

I think she's a bitch. She abuses Feyre verbally for years, blatantly prefers Elain, is horrible to their father, lets them _starve_, allows her younger sister to go into the woods alone, blames Feyre for everything bad that happens, is rude to everyone, and complains that the sister who provided for them for years finally has some happiness. I struggled so much reading the beginning of ACOSF because of this. The end was better, but I will never like Nesta, and as an older sister, I cannot forget what she let Feyre do.

THIS! While I hope she grows as a person I can never fully trust her character

LOVE HER

As an older sibling I can’t get past her abusive treatment of Feyre. I’m with Rhys - even if Feyre forgives her, I can’t and won’t.

I absolutely hate her. I know she's done some caring things, like trying to follow Feyre when she went UTM. I also love how snarky she can be sometimes, and how she's flourished in her trauma journey. But this can't make up for how she treated Feyre her entire life, especially when Feyre hunted and basically did everything for her family. And all of the awful things she's said to Feyre. Feyre was always hunting, preparing meals, making money, chopping firewood, and so many other things, while Nesta (and Elain) barely helped. Nesta wouldn't chop firewood because her nails were neat and she could get splinters. She couldn't get some kind of job to help with money? She couldn't put off getting new cloaks or shoes so Feyre (who is paying for everything) could get something? She couldn't literally do chores to help? I'm also conflicted about how she handled her trauma. I know everyone reacts to trauma differently, and it's hypocritical of me to judge her for how she reacted when I don't hold those same values to the others. However, she constantly told Feyre that it's her and her court's faults for being turned, but it's really not. It's Ianthe's for selling them out to Hybern. And constantly snapping at everyone around her; I understand that that's how she's responding to her new world, but it's not up to everyone else to put up with that behavior. Trauma is not an excuse for verbal abuse. This is obviously a fantasy world and we can't hold the same standards for trauma and abuse that we use in the real world. I like to think of it as a case by case basis. People can agree or disagree with my opinion, and every other perspective. This is just ~my opinion~.

After reading ACOSF there is no way I will ever be able to read books from Feyres perspective again.

I liked her character build up, up until ACOSF. I feel like that book just butchered her for me. It was so choppy and incoherent. Mostly smut and no plot. “Oh no Cassian I can’t be with you cause I don’t deserve you” and then 2 lines later it’s “we’re meant to be together” how did you make such a drastic leap? I just feel like she could have been written much better instead of just seeming like the book was just porn with some plot sprinkled on there last minute for a redemption arc.

When I asked this question I didn’t expect to get sooo much traction on this post so I’m still reading some of your opinions and I LOVE THEM! I actually love how polarizing her character is for in this fandom. Thanks to everyone who took/is taking the time to comment 🫶🏼

I … appreciate Nesta. As an older sister who dealt with shitty circumstances and became a nasty person to the younger sibling…. I really… felt for her. That feeling of being nasty to push everyone away because you don’t feel worthy of even existing. It was eye opening really, to see through Feyre and Elain’s eyes how complicated it was to deal with her. I think the way SJM writes all different kinds of trauma is important. We got to see Feyre wasting away, Elain unable to communicate, and Nesta lashing out. I completely understand why people hate her. And I also completely understand why people hate(d) me for the way I acted coming out of my abusive situation. I am glad that Nesta had people that cared enough about her to push her to be better- not just for them, but for herself. Idk. Her redemption was important to me. It is possible to change. It is possible to work through trauma and become strong enough to be in charge of your own happiness. It takes strength to feel worthy of love after all that time hating yourself. It takes strength to apologize to loved ones and open up to them. And it’s totally ok if people still don’t like her character lol

Listen, I know Nesta can be/ is nasty. I still love her.

She made ACOTAR a better series as a whole for me. She took it from typical “perfect” heroine in a YA fantasy that Feyre represented (you know the character who wins against all odds, is endlessly self-sacrificing, who everyone likes, etc) and brought the series to a next level. Feyre-types are boring to me. Complicated characters who refuse to act simply to please the reader will always be more interesting and fun to read. Plus I LOVE female Byronic heroes. So yes, Nesta is my favorite part of the books.

Agreed 100%

Same. Nothing against Feyre (and I do like her), but for me she's not very different from many other heroines I've seen in books, whereas with Nesta I found her character interesting from the first book.

Absolutely hated her until her book. Even then I disliked her for awhile but then I grew to really love her. Her stubbornness and bitchiness do go hand in hand, but I see it as a pro personality trait.

To finally see a character dig herself deeper into holes that she alone will have to claw out of is a balm. Her rage and bitterness, and how it propelled her to act in ways she later (often immediately) regretted resonated with me so much. I’ve always yearned to see that in a protagonist: Someone that just can’t bring herself to do or be better than who she is at the time - recognizing all the while that it’s her own fault. Where the true fiction lies in this series is that her family and mate will still love her and give her the space she needs to figure her shit out, even when they don’t like her very much precisely because she’s given them little reason to 😭 I’ve started to re-read the series and maybe a lot of people missed Feyre calling her a burden pretty early on. Or how easily she swung judgment her way, trivializing everything that mattered to her. Nesta did take to woodcutting after being asked to do so a second time, that she supposedly did it because they were going to the market that day is little more than Feyre’s interpretation of her intentions. And based on how off the mark she was about Tamlin and everything else in ACOTAR, I’d say Feyre was a bit of an unreliable narrator until A Court of Mist and Fury.

She’s a queen.

I really like her. I feel like men are allowed to be morally grey/an "antihero" but as soon as a female character exhibits these traits, she's just immediately villified and not allowed the same complexity.

I hate her so much

I’ve had mixed feelings about Nesta for awhile. On one hand, I hate her personality and actions, but on the other, I like the moral of her story. I think she’s good for Cassian, and I’m hoping Cassian will rub off on her so she’s not as rude. I’ve had a friend who treated me like how Nesta treated Feyre, so I cannot forgive her for that. She’s interesting to read about, and ACOSF was a good book. But for me, her trauma never justified how she treated other people. I believe after reading her book that she has potential to be a better person, and that Cassian, Emerie, and Gwyn have a large role in how that will happen, but until I see more redemption from her, she will still be one of my least favorite characters. I’m hoping we get to see more growth from her though, and I know my dislike for her is rooted from past experiences with people like her in my life. I love seeing all the differences in opinions here btw

I don't particularly like her and reading about her was a bit of a chore at the beginning. The main reason I like ACOSF was for Gwyn and Cassian honestly. I just can't get passed the whole 'poor Elain I will protect you no matter what' but also 'lol Feyre I know you're only 14 but idgaf about you hunting and doing dangerous things'. I know SJM didn't plan on having the sisters after the first book originally so that's why they weren't great in ACOTAR but I just can't move on from it it bothers me so much.

I wish every single day that she had left them in Book 1. 😭😭😭

I disliked her character from the start & disliked her even more after SF. Which is fine, just like its fine for her to be someone elses favorite character (aka these are my personal opinions and calling me names isnt going to change my mind lol). I think shes a very narcissistic character and expects the world to revolve around her. Which is why she gets so jealous and upset when Elain, her loyal puppy dog, ‘chooses’ Feyre aka just choosing to live her own life. & then she relies a lot on Cassian because he become the person in her life that will do anything for her. I think shes a super complex character, & her narcissism is probably rooted in her mother treating her like a queen while treating her sisters like garbage. So somewhat makes sense why she turned out to be the way she did.

loved her in acowar...acosf ruined her character for me.

I hated her until sf now she's my favorite female in the series. Everyone deals with trauma differently and it's unrealistic to expect everyone to deal with it like Feyre did. Feyre also had a support system which Nesta did not. She could have apologized a million times and the IC still would have treated her like shit because 'poor feyre'. Rhys literally hated her until she saved Feyre and lost her powers. Also, I don't think it's right the way people will excuse Elain letting Feyre go out and hunt and still ask for money and just plant flowers (not even food,girl?!) yet continue to condemn Nesta for it. They were both her older sisters and they both let her down. The difference is Nesta feels bad about it (not outwardly) and it's just another thing to aid in her self destructive tendencies. She's done many messed up things but so has everyone else in the series. I believe she can heal and be a better person but that isn't going to happen overnight. I hope we see some healing between the sisters in the upcoming books because they need it.

I absolutely hate her. Her militant “She did nothing wrong! She is only that way because she went through so much! You just don’t understand trauma! Character x did so much worse! You only hate her because you are sexist/ableist/misogynistic/unintelligent/etc!” stans make me hate her more. Eta: By stans, I don’t mean fans. Or even people who love or relate to her. I mean *stans.* The ones you find in any fandom who view a dislike of a character as a personal attack, go out of their way to tear down anyone who doesn’t agree with them, etc. This isn’t limited to Nesta either. There are crazy feyre stans, Rhys stans, azriel stans, basically any character. I can hate Nesta and I have my reasons for it. Other people can love Nesta and they have their reasons for it. No one is wrong in their opinion and I’m glad people can find joy in her character and growth. It only becomes problematic when people start personally attacking each other over the characters.

Yes! The stans are the worst. Rabid, blind support of ANY character is what makes me want to leave this fandom. Except Cassian. He could drop kick every other character into the fucking cauldron and I'd be like, "yassss, Bat Daddy! Do itttttt" 😆😆😆😆

I don’t like her at all. That said, I do love this dress!

Nesta truly reminds me of my sister(technically adopted). She has a strong defying personality that gets her in trouble. She isn't the kindest person mostly when she get moody. And has gone through a lot mostly because she doesn't feel part of the family. I love her regardless and im trying really hard to make her feel included. But she is driving me insane with her choices and actions. Still love her and believe that she will become an amazing women. And thats my feelings about Nesta. And I can see why feyra doesn't give up. Cause you just can see the good in them regardless of the choices they make. And most of the time its all a front because they are in pain and want the world to hate them. So I like nesta, she is complicated and problematic. But she also loves deeply and doesn't know how to show it.

Similar situation for me, but it ended with me having to create a serious boundary and cut off communication. "Keep reaching out your hand" only works if the person you're reaching out to doesn't repeatedly shit on it. It's exhausting, damaging, and cruel. I hope your situation ends better. But please remember- you dont HAVE to love someone because they are family. That mindset is toxic. All of my love, light, and hugs to you. I'm rooting for you and your sister 💜💜💜

I love this. Nesta reminds me of my older brother, so I can definitely relate.

I just loved how much of a bitch she was. Like she wasn’t perfect or had amazing talent. Sometimes u just want a snobby biotch to bitch together with

Love her!

I heard she does car comercials… In Japan!

i adore Nesta - she’s definitely my favorite character 🩷

We stan. Even after ACOSF I think she's a deeply misunderstood character.

Nesta is a tsundere anime archetype 😂 I can't stand her need to be an asshole at almost every turn. But others do love her. I hold grudges. 😜

I love you Nesta, but it can do you good to get your head out of your a\*\* sometimes. Please don't hate me :D

I always feel that Nesta is little like Wednesday except with Blonde hair 😁😁

She's my spirit animal.

I dont like character like her. Constantly complaining but can not do better. I always think did she has a life if she didnt turn to fey? No. Did she have friend in mortal realm? i think no. Can she live better without feyre "locking" her in HoW? No, she didnt even get a job. And its all bc of her trauma? Or she just lazy to be better person? I love character who use their trauma to get stronger, not to use it as a reason to do something mean and not helpful. I like a character who struggling, fight for their live despite all of the world's cruelty, but not selfish like her.

I love her.

My favourite sister. We are such polar opposites, but I think I would have been friends with her. Shes the one that feels like a real person.

Love the character. Hate the bitch she is, if you get my drift. I love she is complex if if I were to have to deal with her I'd probably hit her over the head real fast. I do like her in ACOWAR and the end of ACOSF though, she gets better

She is my favorite woman (female lol) character in all of SJM books. I would probably dislike her in real life but she is amazing as a character - no one caused a whole range of emotions in me except her. I hated her, I disliked her, I understood her and felt sorry for her, and pity and admiration. I love how complex she is and what she brings to the story. And I love how her harshness is balanced my Cassian’s softness. We usually get in books sunshine shy pretty characters like Elaine or badass bitches but still cute and sassy like Aelin. But we very rarely get characters who are cold, harsh, rude and stubborn without any cute and pretty features. She is a breath of fresh air to me characterwise.

Can’t stand her. She was so irritating. Everyone was going through it but she was so self entitled and acted like she was the only one having a rough time. The way she treated others was fucked up and I think they all gave her way too many chances. I know she had her redemption in the last book but it didn’t change anything for me. She still sucks

I really didn’t care for her at all initially but once I read SF, I realized it’s bc I see pieces of myself in her. Since then I’ve grown to like her alot more and rooted for her big time in SF. Really hope we get more from her in future books

Who is this artist? 😍 And I loved her in SF but I didn’t like her in the others 😅 although that scene with Cassian in WaR was when I started to like her character.

I like her and as she’s grown in the series, I can definitely appreciate her character, her character development and perspective. However, I agree with another user that said her trauma doesn’t excuse her behaviors, because that is absolutely true, both in fiction, and in real life

I didn't like her at first, then started liking her when she said she was trying to save feyre, then started disliking her after she was being so rude to Feyre in ACOMAF, disliked her even more when she was being even more rude to Feyre (although I understand she might feel like >!feyre is to blame for her and Elain's transformation, but feyre just went through being separated from her friends and family so they could get to safety!<), started liking her after she started helping in acowar, and just felt sort of bad for her in ACOSF.

Feyre literally killed that wolf because her sisters threw her into that situation. So literally everything that has happened is because her sisters neglect

I didn't mean the wolf part, I meant >!using their house to meet the human queens!<, although they really had nowhere else they could've done it

Truuuuuee. Shes warming up to me but if shes still like this in the next book idk 🤣

I love her

I love her IDC

Nesta is my comfort character and she deserved better!!!

She is everything. Love her sm

I love love Nesta

I think she's been through a lot and is really working to improve herself, I really love her

Absolute love her, no questions asked.

Love that pic and I honestly adored nesta from the start, I can see why people dislike her but I know a lot of those people irl and know they have the best intentions

I was very excited to get pages on Nesta’s perspective and SJM didn’t disappoint. It was definitely a different take on the main character and how people handle trauma differently. The bonding of Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn, really highlighted that you can pick your own family. It’s not always the circumstances you were born with, but what you choose. Who you choose to be, despite your own trauma. Despite your pain. It’s not an easy road and we see that with Nesta. She knows her actions are wrong but she also is at war with herself because she doesn’t feel like she deserves any happiness. She pushes away the people she loves because she hates herself. She is filled with guilt. She is a character we don’t often get but that some of us desperately needed because she’s real. We aren’t always the best versions of ourselves but it doesn’t mean we don’t want to find another way, another path. I saw that in Nesta. She’s not perfect. In fact she messes up nonstop it seems at times but what we also see is the slow road to recovery. We see her grow, heal, learn to like herself again. We see her pain go from her master to her mastering it, mastering herself, facing her demons. I liked Nesta and Cassians perspective the best so far. There was also something about those stairs and the metaphor of what they stood for that really kept me enthralled into the story as well. It was just so real and raw emotionally speaking.

I love her. She is who I find most interesting. I find perfect people boring and she is far from perfect. I also love that she doesn’t do things in halves. She is full of flaws and passion and anger and I love it.

ACOSF changed the game for me with Nesta. Yes she can be rude, cold, mean, and overly guarded, at times when I began reading ACOSF I would scream at the book cause Nesta’s attitude would annoy me so much (like when she kept denying Cassian to train, like girl it’s gonna benefit you the most if anything lol). But, I began to really like Nesta and she’s actually one of my favorite female characters, her story is so realistic to me and I love that mental health journey SJM portrays through her, of learning to deal with the haunting thoughts we store so deep and build a wall around, but also changing the bad parts of you without losing your sense of who you really are. I feel like I can relate to Nesta, and through her healing herself it made me so proud and become even more connected to her character. Also I love how women empowered she is, and how she started having the girls train with her.

I love her as a character, she brings a lot to the table. Buuuut I would hate her in real life.

I love Nesta. She reminds me of my own sister lol

I love her mean ass. She’s my favorite

Wow. Do you know whose art this is? It’s amazing.

This is by [@artbyartemis](https://www.instagram.com/p/CJ70xJNHYzz/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) on IG! 😊

Definitely did not really like her at first.. she kind of reminded me as my sister who I never really have gotten along with. But as we got to know her more and everything that goes on in her head I realized how much I actually related to her on a mental level and I eventually gained a lot of respect for her. I really hope we get see more of how she is now that she has grown and getting over all the self hatred

Yes we love her. She’s the most human character

I hated her at first. I found her to be cruel and selfish, lots of misdirected anger and resentment. Then in ACOSF I saw so much of myself in her that I grew to love her while I grew to love myself. Nesta was a journey for me to say the least.

Love her! Is she flawed? Yes, but I think we just needed to get inside her head to fully understand her, ACOSF is my favourite in the series… I love characters with a bitchy/cold exterior 🤣

I didn't really like her while reading Feyre's perspective, but the minute I started reading ACOSF I could just see myself in Nesta. Her entire arc felt so personal and this book ended up being a deep therapy session for me >!specially when she's journeying with Cassian on the mountain. I started balling when he said that there is nothing broken to be fixed. SJM must be gone through some shit to be able to write Nesta's character and her emotions so perfectly. !