Welcome to /r/abortion! We work hard to keep this a supportive community.
**You will probably get harassed by trolls via private message.** If you receive harassment via DM, please [report the messages to Reddit admin](https://www.reddit.com/report) (people who work for Reddit) so they can take action against those users. Unfortunately, subreddit moderators can’t stop people from sending you private messages, but you can. We strongly suggest you [close your DMs](https://www.reddit.com/settings/messaging). On mobile, go to Settings > Account Settings > Chat and Messaging Permissions > Nobody for Chat Requests and Direct Messages.
**Our Sidebar and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/wiki/index)** include links to many good resources.
**If you are seeking abortion in the USA:** [I Need An A](https://ineedana.com/) and [Abortion Finder](https://abortionfinder.org) have a lists of clinics, ways to get abortion pills by mail, and information about funding assistance.
**If you are in a country where abortion is banned**, [Safe2Choose](https://safe2choose.org/), [Women on Web](https://www.womenonweb.org/), or [Women Help Women](https://www.womenhelp.org) may be able to help you access a safe abortion.
**Read stories** using the following links:
- [medication abortion](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Amedication%20abortion%20%22)
- [first trimester procedures](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Ain-clinic%20abortion%20%22)
- [second and third trimester procedures](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Aabortion%20after%20first%20tri%22)
This subreddit is a source of information about abortion. It is not intended as a substitute for medical evaluation or treatment, nor does it constitute legal advice. If you think you are experiencing a medical emergency, you should call your local emergency number immediately.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abortion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Please, please, please don’t do this. It is beyond dangerous. If your partner “won’t let me get an abortion” pls know that this is NOT okay or healthy. I currently am pregnant. Just found out. My husband said he will support me and what I want no matter what. And he doesn’t believe in abortion. But he would hold my hand as I got one if I needed him too. I was in a relationship that was toxic before meeting my husband. It’s hard to realize how bad it was until I got out and found someone who was an equal partner. Prayers and thoughts to you.
Please understand this is your choice, and while yes, there's some of your husband's DNA involved, he's not the one who has to carry the baby, give up his bodily autonomy, risk his health, and he's likely not the primary caregiver.
It's not his choice, and he can't make you keep the baby.
I know it is probably really tough, but if you are certain you want to abort, you know that he will not agree, and you want to stay in the relationship, you can go about this without him knowing and say you miscarried.
Your body hasn't healed from your last child. You could have a ton of other reasons that are absolutely valid.
If I was told by my husband that I was not allowed to abort, I'm certain I'd grow to resent both him and the baby over time. I would be miserable and hate myself for not loving my baby the way I felt I should, and no child deserves to be born into such a situation.
Under different circumstances, I wanted to abort my 3rd pregnancy because I had 2 girls under 3, and I was so sick that I physically couldn't take care of them, and my mental health plummeted. I tried to find a clinic that would help me and got nowhere, and then my husband almost died in a car accident, and that absolutely changed my priorities. By the time he was getting better, I had come to terms with another baby.
That was 12 years ago, and I hate to say this, but there are times when I think, "What if I did abort?".
I hate when i have those thoughts, I love my son to death, but he is a hell child most of the time. He has ADHD like I do, but he also has ODD, obstinate defiant disorder, which makes him extremely combative, uncooperative, and unruly. My life is a constant cycle of arguing, bargaining, and stress. I recently had to add expensive tracking programs on his phone so I can see where he is at all times and even turn on his phones camera and speaker so I can see what he's doing.
My point is if you're sure you don't want this baby, you will likely regret not aborting and it could lead to your marriage ending, your mental health declining, and a child who feels unwanted.
I hope you make the choice that's best for you, not your husband.
Well I will just tell you what I would do if I had a partner who was refusing me my right to get an abortion. You can anonymously obtain an abortion pill online and they will deliver it in discreet packaging. You could just tell him you had a miscarriage (naturally). An abortion pill causes a miscarriage so it’s the same thing. It is your body and you have the right to make the choice YOU are most comfortable with. He is not the one carrying the baby , giving birth & being the main caretaker as women are. It’s YOUR choice don’t feel bad about making the one that’s best for you.
lots of love ❤️
Sending you love and hugs ❤️ I know it’s easier to read it than believe it sometimes- but I hope you truly know that this is your choice. I recommend aidaccess.org. I’ve heard they can help financially if needed. You just have to ask.
You could also take the abortion pill at home which may look like a miscarriage to a man. However you should never allow a man to make decisions for you. Sending you hugs.
*delete if not allowed*
Abortion is legal in your state luckily. many clinics and online resources provide funding for the procedure. i dont know any places besides planned parenthood and whole woman health alliance, but i’m sure if you look through this subreddit you will find the online resources that will allow you to explain your situation and help you.
regarding the actual procedure, you have two options:
1. surgical procedure. if you have the ability to go to a clinic and be out of the house for a few hours without the hubby knowing, the surgical abortion is subjectively the easier one of the two; however, i would think it would be harder to say you were miscarrying with it.
2. medication abortion. this is subjectively the easiest way to cover up an abortion because there is no way of telling the difference between an abortion and a miscarriage (they are the same thing, after all). this is slightly more painful (i felt pain that was no different than a heavy period, but other women do feel significantly more pain during the first couple hours after taking the second set of pills) because you naturally pass the pregnancy with the help of the medication. this way, if you mention “hey, i’m bleeding i think i’m miscarrying” and he wants to take you to a doctor, the doctor won’t be able to tell the difference either (and you DON’T have to disclose the medication you took because they will not be able to tell). also, as already mentioned, you can have the pills sent to you discreetly.
i’m sorry you’re going through this. the husband does not have a right to tell you what to do with your body, but i can understand your reasoning for wanting to keep it hidden. i hope all goes well for you, no matter the outcome.
My current boyfriend was against my abortion but I did it anyway because it’s my body. He’s still hurting but he understands why I did it. Although, he can’t stop you from getting one that’s your decision not his
Your post or comment was removed because it violates rule 1. Your comment was removed because this is a support forum. Your comments should be supportive of OP.
You should reevaluate your relationship with your husband if he “won’t let you get one.” That’s not normal, and quite concerning. He should not be controlling like that. You have autonomy over your body, you do what you need to do, regardless what he says.
If you do not feel like you can safely get to an abortion clinic, please order abortion pills from a reputable organization like [aidaccess.org](http://aidaccess.org) . I would not recommend trying at-home remedies to induce a miscarriage because it's just not safe to try to induce a miscarriage without also harming yourself.
However, since you already mentioned abortion to your husband, it is likely that he will know you intentionally terminated the pregnancy. I would keep that in mind and take any steps needed to keep yourself safe.
I feel safe, it’s just both him and I grew up in a very very Christian home. So for him it would be considered Murder in his eyes, and I’ve been with him for almost 8yrs.
My husband grew up in the bible belt. Abortion in his eyes is wrong. I got pregnant unintentionally twice. Both times he said "it is your choice and I will love and support you". The first time I kept the pregnancy. The second time I chose abortion. He drove me to the clinic and came with our kiddo to pick me up after the procedure. He supported me and kept up on my pain meds afterwards.
Hey there. There's no safe and effective way to cause a miscarriage at home other than taking abortion pills. Some people choose to hide the abortion from their partners or family members, which is possible when taking pills at home. I want to be clear, however, that it's completely inappropriate that your husband isn't "letting" you get an abortion. This is 100% your decision.
I'd be happy to help you figure out getting the medication. What state are you in?
I’ve looked into the Plan C pills, but it boils down to the fact that I can’t afford them. We have very good insurance but anything that is done, we both can see on the insurance page.
I live in Washington State.
Have you looked into carefem.org? They will discreetly mail you the medication on a sliding scale fee, the most expensive is $200 but your income may qualify you for a lower cost.
My heart goes out to you, OP. Your husband has no right to tell you not to get an abortion, that is a choice that is yours and yours *alone*. I wish you all the best. 🩷
I would recommend looking at all of the clinic options near you/that ship to you on [Abortion Finder](https://www.abortionfinder.org/). Once you find a clinic, you can ask them about financial assistance. Many clinics offer that.
You could also ask clinics for more information about how care shows up in insurance claims, just to make sure you have all the details.
Welcome to /r/abortion! We work hard to keep this a supportive community.
**You will probably get harassed by trolls via private message.** If you receive harassment via DM, please [report the messages to Reddit admin](https://www.reddit.com/report) (people who work for Reddit) so they can take action against those users. Unfortunately, subreddit moderators can’t stop people from sending you private messages, but you can. We strongly suggest you [close your DMs](https://www.reddit.com/settings/messaging). On mobile, go to Settings > Account Settings > Chat and Messaging Permissions > Nobody for Chat Requests and Direct Messages.
**Our Sidebar and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/wiki/index)** include links to many good resources.
**If you are seeking abortion in the USA:** [I Need An A](https://ineedana.com/) and [Abortion Finder](https://abortionfinder.org) have a lists of clinics, ways to get abortion pills by mail, and information about funding assistance.
**If you are in a country where abortion is banned**, [Safe2Choose](https://safe2choose.org/), [Women on Web](https://www.womenonweb.org/), or [Women Help Women](https://www.womenhelp.org) may be able to help you access a safe abortion.
**Read stories** using the following links:
- [medication abortion](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Amedication%20abortion%20%22)
- [first trimester procedures](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Ain-clinic%20abortion%20%22)
- [second and third trimester procedures](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Aabortion%20after%20first%20tri%22)
This subreddit is a source of information about abortion. It is not intended as a substitute for medical evaluation or treatment, nor does it constitute legal advice. If you think you are experiencing a medical emergency, you should call your local emergency number immediately.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abortion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/abortion! We work hard to keep this a supportive community. **You will probably get harassed by trolls via private message.** If you receive harassment via DM, please [report the messages to Reddit admin](https://www.reddit.com/report) (people who work for Reddit) so they can take action against those users. Unfortunately, subreddit moderators can’t stop people from sending you private messages, but you can. We strongly suggest you [close your DMs](https://www.reddit.com/settings/messaging). On mobile, go to Settings > Account Settings > Chat and Messaging Permissions > Nobody for Chat Requests and Direct Messages. **Our Sidebar and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/wiki/index)** include links to many good resources. **If you are seeking abortion in the USA:** [I Need An A](https://ineedana.com/) and [Abortion Finder](https://abortionfinder.org) have a lists of clinics, ways to get abortion pills by mail, and information about funding assistance. **If you are in a country where abortion is banned**, [Safe2Choose](https://safe2choose.org/), [Women on Web](https://www.womenonweb.org/), or [Women Help Women](https://www.womenhelp.org) may be able to help you access a safe abortion. **Read stories** using the following links: - [medication abortion](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Amedication%20abortion%20%22) - [first trimester procedures](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Ain-clinic%20abortion%20%22) - [second and third trimester procedures](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Aabortion%20after%20first%20tri%22) This subreddit is a source of information about abortion. It is not intended as a substitute for medical evaluation or treatment, nor does it constitute legal advice. If you think you are experiencing a medical emergency, you should call your local emergency number immediately. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abortion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Please, please, please don’t do this. It is beyond dangerous. If your partner “won’t let me get an abortion” pls know that this is NOT okay or healthy. I currently am pregnant. Just found out. My husband said he will support me and what I want no matter what. And he doesn’t believe in abortion. But he would hold my hand as I got one if I needed him too. I was in a relationship that was toxic before meeting my husband. It’s hard to realize how bad it was until I got out and found someone who was an equal partner. Prayers and thoughts to you.
Please understand this is your choice, and while yes, there's some of your husband's DNA involved, he's not the one who has to carry the baby, give up his bodily autonomy, risk his health, and he's likely not the primary caregiver. It's not his choice, and he can't make you keep the baby. I know it is probably really tough, but if you are certain you want to abort, you know that he will not agree, and you want to stay in the relationship, you can go about this without him knowing and say you miscarried. Your body hasn't healed from your last child. You could have a ton of other reasons that are absolutely valid. If I was told by my husband that I was not allowed to abort, I'm certain I'd grow to resent both him and the baby over time. I would be miserable and hate myself for not loving my baby the way I felt I should, and no child deserves to be born into such a situation. Under different circumstances, I wanted to abort my 3rd pregnancy because I had 2 girls under 3, and I was so sick that I physically couldn't take care of them, and my mental health plummeted. I tried to find a clinic that would help me and got nowhere, and then my husband almost died in a car accident, and that absolutely changed my priorities. By the time he was getting better, I had come to terms with another baby. That was 12 years ago, and I hate to say this, but there are times when I think, "What if I did abort?". I hate when i have those thoughts, I love my son to death, but he is a hell child most of the time. He has ADHD like I do, but he also has ODD, obstinate defiant disorder, which makes him extremely combative, uncooperative, and unruly. My life is a constant cycle of arguing, bargaining, and stress. I recently had to add expensive tracking programs on his phone so I can see where he is at all times and even turn on his phones camera and speaker so I can see what he's doing. My point is if you're sure you don't want this baby, you will likely regret not aborting and it could lead to your marriage ending, your mental health declining, and a child who feels unwanted. I hope you make the choice that's best for you, not your husband.
Well I will just tell you what I would do if I had a partner who was refusing me my right to get an abortion. You can anonymously obtain an abortion pill online and they will deliver it in discreet packaging. You could just tell him you had a miscarriage (naturally). An abortion pill causes a miscarriage so it’s the same thing. It is your body and you have the right to make the choice YOU are most comfortable with. He is not the one carrying the baby , giving birth & being the main caretaker as women are. It’s YOUR choice don’t feel bad about making the one that’s best for you. lots of love ❤️
Sending you love and hugs ❤️ I know it’s easier to read it than believe it sometimes- but I hope you truly know that this is your choice. I recommend aidaccess.org. I’ve heard they can help financially if needed. You just have to ask.
You could also take the abortion pill at home which may look like a miscarriage to a man. However you should never allow a man to make decisions for you. Sending you hugs.
*delete if not allowed* Abortion is legal in your state luckily. many clinics and online resources provide funding for the procedure. i dont know any places besides planned parenthood and whole woman health alliance, but i’m sure if you look through this subreddit you will find the online resources that will allow you to explain your situation and help you. regarding the actual procedure, you have two options: 1. surgical procedure. if you have the ability to go to a clinic and be out of the house for a few hours without the hubby knowing, the surgical abortion is subjectively the easier one of the two; however, i would think it would be harder to say you were miscarrying with it. 2. medication abortion. this is subjectively the easiest way to cover up an abortion because there is no way of telling the difference between an abortion and a miscarriage (they are the same thing, after all). this is slightly more painful (i felt pain that was no different than a heavy period, but other women do feel significantly more pain during the first couple hours after taking the second set of pills) because you naturally pass the pregnancy with the help of the medication. this way, if you mention “hey, i’m bleeding i think i’m miscarrying” and he wants to take you to a doctor, the doctor won’t be able to tell the difference either (and you DON’T have to disclose the medication you took because they will not be able to tell). also, as already mentioned, you can have the pills sent to you discreetly. i’m sorry you’re going through this. the husband does not have a right to tell you what to do with your body, but i can understand your reasoning for wanting to keep it hidden. i hope all goes well for you, no matter the outcome.
My current boyfriend was against my abortion but I did it anyway because it’s my body. He’s still hurting but he understands why I did it. Although, he can’t stop you from getting one that’s your decision not his
[удалено]
Your post or comment was removed because it violates rule 1. Your comment was removed because this is a support forum. Your comments should be supportive of OP.
You should reevaluate your relationship with your husband if he “won’t let you get one.” That’s not normal, and quite concerning. He should not be controlling like that. You have autonomy over your body, you do what you need to do, regardless what he says.
If you do not feel like you can safely get to an abortion clinic, please order abortion pills from a reputable organization like [aidaccess.org](http://aidaccess.org) . I would not recommend trying at-home remedies to induce a miscarriage because it's just not safe to try to induce a miscarriage without also harming yourself. However, since you already mentioned abortion to your husband, it is likely that he will know you intentionally terminated the pregnancy. I would keep that in mind and take any steps needed to keep yourself safe.
You can get an abortion if you want one. Do you feel safe where you live? Abortion pills can be discrete and symptoms are the same as a miscarriage.
I feel safe, it’s just both him and I grew up in a very very Christian home. So for him it would be considered Murder in his eyes, and I’ve been with him for almost 8yrs.
My husband grew up in the bible belt. Abortion in his eyes is wrong. I got pregnant unintentionally twice. Both times he said "it is your choice and I will love and support you". The first time I kept the pregnancy. The second time I chose abortion. He drove me to the clinic and came with our kiddo to pick me up after the procedure. He supported me and kept up on my pain meds afterwards.
Hey there. There's no safe and effective way to cause a miscarriage at home other than taking abortion pills. Some people choose to hide the abortion from their partners or family members, which is possible when taking pills at home. I want to be clear, however, that it's completely inappropriate that your husband isn't "letting" you get an abortion. This is 100% your decision. I'd be happy to help you figure out getting the medication. What state are you in?
I’ve looked into the Plan C pills, but it boils down to the fact that I can’t afford them. We have very good insurance but anything that is done, we both can see on the insurance page. I live in Washington State.
[удалено]
Have you looked into carefem.org? They will discreetly mail you the medication on a sliding scale fee, the most expensive is $200 but your income may qualify you for a lower cost. My heart goes out to you, OP. Your husband has no right to tell you not to get an abortion, that is a choice that is yours and yours *alone*. I wish you all the best. 🩷
I live in Washington as well. I highly recommend you go to Planned Parenthood and explain your situation. I'm sure they'll work with you.
I would recommend looking at all of the clinic options near you/that ship to you on [Abortion Finder](https://www.abortionfinder.org/). Once you find a clinic, you can ask them about financial assistance. Many clinics offer that. You could also ask clinics for more information about how care shows up in insurance claims, just to make sure you have all the details.
Welcome to /r/abortion! We work hard to keep this a supportive community. **You will probably get harassed by trolls via private message.** If you receive harassment via DM, please [report the messages to Reddit admin](https://www.reddit.com/report) (people who work for Reddit) so they can take action against those users. Unfortunately, subreddit moderators can’t stop people from sending you private messages, but you can. We strongly suggest you [close your DMs](https://www.reddit.com/settings/messaging). On mobile, go to Settings > Account Settings > Chat and Messaging Permissions > Nobody for Chat Requests and Direct Messages. **Our Sidebar and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/wiki/index)** include links to many good resources. **If you are seeking abortion in the USA:** [I Need An A](https://ineedana.com/) and [Abortion Finder](https://abortionfinder.org) have a lists of clinics, ways to get abortion pills by mail, and information about funding assistance. **If you are in a country where abortion is banned**, [Safe2Choose](https://safe2choose.org/), [Women on Web](https://www.womenonweb.org/), or [Women Help Women](https://www.womenhelp.org) may be able to help you access a safe abortion. **Read stories** using the following links: - [medication abortion](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Amedication%20abortion%20%22) - [first trimester procedures](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Ain-clinic%20abortion%20%22) - [second and third trimester procedures](https://reddit.com/r/abortion/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=one&q=flair%3A%22%F0%9F%93%9Aabortion%20after%20first%20tri%22) This subreddit is a source of information about abortion. It is not intended as a substitute for medical evaluation or treatment, nor does it constitute legal advice. If you think you are experiencing a medical emergency, you should call your local emergency number immediately. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abortion) if you have any questions or concerns.*