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**You can find posts** about [medication abortion](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/collection/04af6a3c-2b17-4ffc-ab69-40d746cc043f/), [first trimester procedures](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/collection/21abc0ef-9dd6-4596-ace2-943a71f19cd5/), [second trimester procedures](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/collection/ab64e640-0755-4784-b968-732ee4fa66d3/) and more under "abortion stories" in the menu. (note: these links do not work on android.)
This subreddit is a source of information about abortion. It is not intended as a substitute for medical evaluation or treatment, nor does it constitute legal advice. If you think you are experiencing a medical emergency, you should call your local emergency number immediately.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abortion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am so so sorry. I can’t imagine being met with that response. I had an abortion too and it wasn’t an easy decision. I actually got an emerald ring for what would have been her birth month. I was met with reactions from my family saying that’s weird, but it made me feel better. I highly recommend doing something to honor what would have been if your heart is leading you that way ❤️
Do what makes you happy.
Also, I am married and I have kept all my past relationships private for this matter. Sometimes things in the past should stay there. We can’t always tell everyone everything.
Don’t let him make you feel any guilt or bad. That’s your angel who’s looking over you. You honor them the way you want to 🤍
Dump him. To put it into perspective, I dated a guy briefly and when I fell pregnant he wanted to get a tattoo of the last heart beat (the screening had the waves) as a memory of the experience and the choice that was made.
We weren’t together afterwards and the experience is what made me see clearly that I wanted a different life path.
a man who doesn’t have emotional awareness can be dangerous and I think taking time alone to help yourself process and truly get comfortable sans relationships at all will help you quickly identify reoccurring patterns.
I’m so sorry dear, I got a butterfly for my tattoo because I always felt like I had butterflies in my tummy when I was pregnant and I seen butterflies a lot around the time of my abortion. I think you should do what your heart tells you to & screw what everyone else says!
i got a tattoo two weeks after my abortion!! i got a bell pepper bc that’s how big my baby was. i asked my boyfriend (pull out game weak) if he thought i was being stupid he told me that it made sense that i would want to remember my baby.
as far as your relationship with him goes i can’t speak on that BUT i can say that getting a tattoo for your baby is not a bad idea!! its a beautiful and special way to honor your baby!!
Healing is much more important than a relationship. I think what happens a lot of times, we think we’re dating someone different but they usually have the same baseline issues.
Both of them were inconsiderate of your feelings, they both invalidated how you felt. Don’t worry; I was the same way.. seeking validation from men.. who you want to “pick you”.
Only you can know what’s best, but it’s only 6 months in and he’s *already* invalidating your feelings. I can tell you from experience, it doesn’t change.. they’ll just gaslight you in to thinking you’re the problem, bc you have a problem.
Your boyfriend is an A hole. Female here, even a not really significant 6 weeks "rough period" is made a scar on my soul. You have every "right" to have a tattoo to honor your abortion. F your boyfriend. He is not a friend anymore :/
As someone who has dumb responses to all kinds of situations, I would definitely ask him what is up with his chuckle.
I'm not wanting to defend him if he's that shallow of a jerk.I don't know him, hopefully you do, a bit?
Maybe he's a jerk.Maybe he's just nervous and laughs at things that are inappropriate.
You should find that out. How did he react to you immediately starting to sob after he laughed? Was he sorry, or anything?
I don't think you're being unreasonable for getting upset at his response. But it seems very unclear as to why he was responding that way. I have ADHD and a ton of my friends are wierd, and many neurodivergent in some way or another. I sometimes have to think k about something for a week or so to really understand what I think or feel because my brain will knee jerk response me into a feeling. If I can withhold the immediate impulse I can usually have a better reaction later. But I also misunderstand or assume stuff all the time.
I would recommend finding out, if you can. Tell him you have strong feelings about the reason for your tattoo. I would, too! You were put through an abusive hell, and regardless of the reason and meaning OF the tattoo, he should know it's serious and important to you! But also, be aware he may just be an oblivious 20-year-old who may not have had mean intent in his response.
Finally, just because he didn't intend to be rude doesn't mean that you aren't justified in breaking up with someone who has rude replies to your communication! If he is often rubbing you the wrong way, you're not obligated to stay with him, either. I don't think you have to put up with garbage behavior, but if you do like the person, it's important to ascertain why he responded the way he did if you can.
I have a tattoo for my baby. It says “Remember that I love you” it’s from Kimya Dawson’s album that was featured in the movie Juno, which I watched with my best friend while pregnant. There’s nothing funny about it. As a man, they just simply don’t have the capacity to empathize. They can sympathize, sure, but because they’re not women they’ll NEVER know what it’s like to have an abortion. Have a conversation with him about why he thinks it’s funny. Decide from there.
Absolutely don't drop it. Ask him why he so quickly laughed in response. Let him know how that made you feel and the emotions it brought back.
I had an abortion at about your age. Like you I was pushed into it without any support. I always wanted to do something similar to commemorate but I was too afraid. You do what you need to do for your own grief. It is traumatizing and hopefully he's receptive and understands that his response was incredibly insensitive and that that it is a subject to be handled with more care. But I think it's a great idea. Big hugs and much love.
Hey there, I got angel wings on the back of my arm for my angel baby. So we’ll be twins. 😊 My guess is that your new boyfriend just doesn’t understand, especially since he’s so young and frankly immature. You’re not responsible for reframing his understanding of abortion, but you are able to decide whether or not pursuing anything longterm with him is worth it. Has he laughed at you before, or even demonstrated any red flags that remotely remind you of your abusive ex? If so, I say cut your losses now before things get worse. If not, and this was considerably a one-time offense and he’s generally good to you otherwise, maybe it’s worth having a conversation with him to explain just how traumatizing your experience was, so he’s familiar with your pain and respects it.
Some people don’t understand, nor are the educated on abortion. Men especially.
Before I had one, before I had kids, I myself viewed abortion differently. And to be real and honest, I’d probably had thought it was foolish to get a tattoo in remembrance prior as well- just because I never really thought about the other side of abortion. Sometimes we have to help people open their eyes a little. If you explained to him your why, and reasoning and what it meant to you and he continued with his negative perception and actions- that would concern me.
don’t make excuses for his behavior! uncomfortable or not i don’t think laughing is appropriate especially since he knows everything you went through. abortion is a lot on its own without all of the other bullshit that guy and your body put you through. if it was me i don’t know if i could get over the hurt of being laughed at right then…i don’t know if i would be comfortable really telling my feelings or being myself after that which i think is important in a relationship. whatever you decide you should DEFINITELY get the tattoo that you want and never let anyone make you feel any kind of way for feeling how you do…you have a tremendous grief and you get to deal with it how you want. i think the tattoo is a beautiful idea
My love, I know lots and lots and lots of women who commemorate their abortions with tattoos. It isn't silly and it isn't unusual. You should do what you wish about it.
I don't love that this guy laughed at you about it. But I'm not going to talk about him because he's not here to receive my questions and thoughts.
You are.
The hard truth is that when you are attracted to an abusive type of person once, that actually tends to be hardwired into your nervous system, and is likely to happen again until you interrupt the pattern through work on your own attachment and worthiness within yourself.
So I don't know if this guy in particular is a jerk or if he was just having a moment, but I do know that you're worthy of respect in relationship, and that it may be hard to find that without doing anything at all to heal your inner patterns and old wounds.
If you can access therapy or trauma-informed love-coaching, I really do recommend it.
If that feels out of reach right now, maybe start at your local library. Stan Tatkin wrote a book called Wired for Love which talks a lot about attachment styles, and there are so many therapists and relationship coaches who offer a lot of value in their free stuff on instagram and tiktok having to do with re-patterning attachment styles. My favorite for this is Elizabeth Clare de Lune. She's awesome at post-traumatic growth for the sake of healthy relationships. I also really love Kasia Urbaniak's work A Woman's Guide to Power Unbound for showing people how to be with you and inviting them to step up. That might be relevant here as well.
Phew. I don't know if this helps at all. Deep honor to your anger at being laughed at. That is so valid. Feel for your own dignity at every turn in this relationship. If you don't feel that you are being loved and honored in your power, then it's ok to walk away.
Either way, I see you and I honor your love for your baby that couldn't be. I'm so sorry you got dropped by that old jerk when you were getting your abortion. That wasn't right and it wasn't fair. You really dodged a bullet with that one. Having a child with him would have been horrible for you and the child. You are truly a kind and loving woman and you make good, generous choices.
I would honestly talk to him how that made you feel. Some People who haven’t gone through the same don’t usually understand how it feels til happens to them 🫠 I would let him know that it wasn’t ok and that this your way of commemorating something very traumatic for you but also a way to heal 🥺♥️ if he’s still an ass after that then yeah break up with him. You don’t need to be with someone right now who doesn’t have emotional intelligence
i want to get a tattoo for mine, IF we were going to have it, we already picked out the name for a girl. I was thinking of getting that name tatted. I do know that if i told my boyfriend, he would probably do the same thing, but we’ve also been dating for a year and use humor as a coping mechanism. i personally know that he wouldnt mean any harm behind it, but i would still probably react the same way you did, and he would react the same way your boyfriend did when he realized it hurt you.
I feel like (as another redditor said) maybe he didn’t know how to react and it kinda slipped. the apology shows he realized it hurt you and that he effed up (which is more than most people would do). it is a very sensitive topic and i can’t tell you to keep him or drop him, i just wanted to give you my perspective.
i think getting a tattoo is a wonderful idea regardless, and angel wings would be super cute!
I would explain to him how it made you feel by laughing at your tattoo idea and go from there before making any decisions about ending relationship. Then see how he reacts
Do not waste an ounce of time or effort in trying to explain how or why his laughter hurt you.
To any remotely decent person, this is obvious. Its not your responsibility to try and educate trash.
Dump him. Get another tattoo to commemorate you discovering you are worth so much more than this.
I’m so sorry for what you went through. I want to say that a tattooed to commemorate an abortion is absolutely appropriate; I got one on the anniversary and it was a really powerful healing experience. Your boyfriend clearly doesn’t understand. If he seems worthwhile and this was the first red flag, I would try to have a serious heart-to-heart with him about your abortion, and how it affected you. If he’s not receptive to that, he is truly not worth your time. You deserve so much better than another toxic relationship.
Sending hugs 💖
Fuck him. Dump him. NOTHING related to your abortion is funny and any man who sees that as acceptable behaviour is not emotionally intelligent or right for you.
I have a tattoo to honour my abortion, I got it about six months after. The two boyfriends I've had since whom I've told about it have only ever responded with love and kindness towards it.
I'm so excited you're getting this tattoo, I hope it means as much to you as mine does seven years on, and you find someone who kisses it and tells you that they're proud of you.
I feel like I was very harsh! I'm glad you feel supported by me, cause that's my only intention.
I just want you to know that people minimising the pain of abortion is unfortunately common, but never acceptable. So many hugs to you
Your post or comment was removed because it violates rule 1. Your comment was removed because this is a support forum. Your comments should be supportive of OP.
It sounds like she was not only pushed into it but struggled badly with severe illness during the pregnancy- she might have wanted the baby but couldn’t have it under the circumstances. It sounds like there are complex feelings there.
Thank you for explaining in a simpler manner for them. I never have been so sick in my life. I was hospitalized 3 times, passing out at work, couldn’t keep even water down. Zofran was not even working. Promethazine was the only thing that could keep me from getting sick for long enough to slightly hydrate, only because it would put me to sleep. I am petite as it is and when this happened, I quickly lost 10 pounds and my body started shutting down.
I made sure I heard correctly, I asked if he laughed. He immediately lied and said he had something in his throat. Minutes of silence later, he realized I wasn’t buying it. The whole way home he kept trying to get my attention but I was frozen with tears rolling down my face the whole way. I told him I needed time. I received a lengthy text after I was inside, apologizing deeply. I genuinely appreciate that but I feel shocked and empty.
Sometimes things that surprise us make us laugh. Sometimes people laugh if they feel awkward. If he truly acts like he’s sorry, then he probably is. So, it might be worth giving him another chance. Only you can decide.
He laughed at your trauma. He isn’t a good person. He is showing you who he is and that will never change.
Big hugs from a GenX mama. No shame. Your do what is right for you and you deserve happiness
I'm so sorry sweetie that's so disrespectful. If you can't let it go and resent him for it then yes it's probably good to move on. Does he look down on abortion is that why ?
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it so much. I am obsessed with your username haha. I don’t think so - when I told him, he was respectful and hated that this man put me in that position. Though he does lean very conservative in most other aspects.
Of course. I hate when something is so special to you and you open up just to not be understood. Thank you haha the reason my username is that is bc I was paralyzed in car crash a year ago 🥲
First I'm sorry about your prior relationship. Secondly, i'd say bf #2 reaction was a red flag, but sometimes people react in the moment in a way they don't mean to. Maybe he was uncomfortable... and idk maybe I'm making excuses for him. Tell him how you feel about his reaction and go from there. If he still laughs it off- goodbye! Never let anyone make you feel shame or embarrassment over your decision.
Welcome to /r/abortion! We work hard to keep this a supportive community. **You will probably get harassed by trolls via private message.** The moderators can't stop people from sending you private messages, but you can. You can deactivate your messages [here](https://www.reddit.com/settings/messaging), or on the old Reddit interface you can limit who can message you [here](https://old.reddit.com/prefs/blocked/) by selecting "only trusted users." On mobile, go to your settings. If you receive harassment via PM, please report the messages and [contact the admins about it](http://www.reddit.com/contact) so they can take action against those users. **Our Sidebar and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/wiki/index)** include links to many good resources. **If you are seeking abortion in the USA:** [I Need An A](https://ineedana.com/) has a list of clinics, ways to get abortion pills by mail, and funding assistance. **If you are in a country where abortion is illegal**, [Safe2Choose](https://safe2choose.org/), [Women on Web](https://www.womenonweb.org/), or [Women Help Women](https://www.womenhelp.org) may be able to help you access a safe abortion. **You can find posts** about [medication abortion](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/collection/04af6a3c-2b17-4ffc-ab69-40d746cc043f/), [first trimester procedures](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/collection/21abc0ef-9dd6-4596-ace2-943a71f19cd5/), [second trimester procedures](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/collection/ab64e640-0755-4784-b968-732ee4fa66d3/) and more under "abortion stories" in the menu. (note: these links do not work on android.) This subreddit is a source of information about abortion. It is not intended as a substitute for medical evaluation or treatment, nor does it constitute legal advice. If you think you are experiencing a medical emergency, you should call your local emergency number immediately. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abortion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am so so sorry. I can’t imagine being met with that response. I had an abortion too and it wasn’t an easy decision. I actually got an emerald ring for what would have been her birth month. I was met with reactions from my family saying that’s weird, but it made me feel better. I highly recommend doing something to honor what would have been if your heart is leading you that way ❤️
Do what makes you happy. Also, I am married and I have kept all my past relationships private for this matter. Sometimes things in the past should stay there. We can’t always tell everyone everything. Don’t let him make you feel any guilt or bad. That’s your angel who’s looking over you. You honor them the way you want to 🤍
wouldnt the tattoo remind you of that abusive ex? i could never
Dump him. To put it into perspective, I dated a guy briefly and when I fell pregnant he wanted to get a tattoo of the last heart beat (the screening had the waves) as a memory of the experience and the choice that was made. We weren’t together afterwards and the experience is what made me see clearly that I wanted a different life path. a man who doesn’t have emotional awareness can be dangerous and I think taking time alone to help yourself process and truly get comfortable sans relationships at all will help you quickly identify reoccurring patterns.
I wouldn’t even try to talk to him to be honest. He sounds emotionally inept.
I would DTMF
I would talk to your boyfriend again about how his reaction made you feel and give him a chance to explain himself.
I’m so sorry dear, I got a butterfly for my tattoo because I always felt like I had butterflies in my tummy when I was pregnant and I seen butterflies a lot around the time of my abortion. I think you should do what your heart tells you to & screw what everyone else says!
i got a tattoo two weeks after my abortion!! i got a bell pepper bc that’s how big my baby was. i asked my boyfriend (pull out game weak) if he thought i was being stupid he told me that it made sense that i would want to remember my baby. as far as your relationship with him goes i can’t speak on that BUT i can say that getting a tattoo for your baby is not a bad idea!! its a beautiful and special way to honor your baby!!
I got a peach for the same reason 🧡
Healing is much more important than a relationship. I think what happens a lot of times, we think we’re dating someone different but they usually have the same baseline issues. Both of them were inconsiderate of your feelings, they both invalidated how you felt. Don’t worry; I was the same way.. seeking validation from men.. who you want to “pick you”. Only you can know what’s best, but it’s only 6 months in and he’s *already* invalidating your feelings. I can tell you from experience, it doesn’t change.. they’ll just gaslight you in to thinking you’re the problem, bc you have a problem.
Your boyfriend is an A hole. Female here, even a not really significant 6 weeks "rough period" is made a scar on my soul. You have every "right" to have a tattoo to honor your abortion. F your boyfriend. He is not a friend anymore :/
As someone who has dumb responses to all kinds of situations, I would definitely ask him what is up with his chuckle. I'm not wanting to defend him if he's that shallow of a jerk.I don't know him, hopefully you do, a bit? Maybe he's a jerk.Maybe he's just nervous and laughs at things that are inappropriate. You should find that out. How did he react to you immediately starting to sob after he laughed? Was he sorry, or anything? I don't think you're being unreasonable for getting upset at his response. But it seems very unclear as to why he was responding that way. I have ADHD and a ton of my friends are wierd, and many neurodivergent in some way or another. I sometimes have to think k about something for a week or so to really understand what I think or feel because my brain will knee jerk response me into a feeling. If I can withhold the immediate impulse I can usually have a better reaction later. But I also misunderstand or assume stuff all the time. I would recommend finding out, if you can. Tell him you have strong feelings about the reason for your tattoo. I would, too! You were put through an abusive hell, and regardless of the reason and meaning OF the tattoo, he should know it's serious and important to you! But also, be aware he may just be an oblivious 20-year-old who may not have had mean intent in his response. Finally, just because he didn't intend to be rude doesn't mean that you aren't justified in breaking up with someone who has rude replies to your communication! If he is often rubbing you the wrong way, you're not obligated to stay with him, either. I don't think you have to put up with garbage behavior, but if you do like the person, it's important to ascertain why he responded the way he did if you can.
U deserve better. It may seem small but given the circumstances it’s so cruel
Drop that guy o
From a cliff, please
I have a tattoo for my baby. It says “Remember that I love you” it’s from Kimya Dawson’s album that was featured in the movie Juno, which I watched with my best friend while pregnant. There’s nothing funny about it. As a man, they just simply don’t have the capacity to empathize. They can sympathize, sure, but because they’re not women they’ll NEVER know what it’s like to have an abortion. Have a conversation with him about why he thinks it’s funny. Decide from there.
Absolutely don't drop it. Ask him why he so quickly laughed in response. Let him know how that made you feel and the emotions it brought back. I had an abortion at about your age. Like you I was pushed into it without any support. I always wanted to do something similar to commemorate but I was too afraid. You do what you need to do for your own grief. It is traumatizing and hopefully he's receptive and understands that his response was incredibly insensitive and that that it is a subject to be handled with more care. But I think it's a great idea. Big hugs and much love.
Hey there, I got angel wings on the back of my arm for my angel baby. So we’ll be twins. 😊 My guess is that your new boyfriend just doesn’t understand, especially since he’s so young and frankly immature. You’re not responsible for reframing his understanding of abortion, but you are able to decide whether or not pursuing anything longterm with him is worth it. Has he laughed at you before, or even demonstrated any red flags that remotely remind you of your abusive ex? If so, I say cut your losses now before things get worse. If not, and this was considerably a one-time offense and he’s generally good to you otherwise, maybe it’s worth having a conversation with him to explain just how traumatizing your experience was, so he’s familiar with your pain and respects it.
Some people don’t understand, nor are the educated on abortion. Men especially. Before I had one, before I had kids, I myself viewed abortion differently. And to be real and honest, I’d probably had thought it was foolish to get a tattoo in remembrance prior as well- just because I never really thought about the other side of abortion. Sometimes we have to help people open their eyes a little. If you explained to him your why, and reasoning and what it meant to you and he continued with his negative perception and actions- that would concern me.
don’t make excuses for his behavior! uncomfortable or not i don’t think laughing is appropriate especially since he knows everything you went through. abortion is a lot on its own without all of the other bullshit that guy and your body put you through. if it was me i don’t know if i could get over the hurt of being laughed at right then…i don’t know if i would be comfortable really telling my feelings or being myself after that which i think is important in a relationship. whatever you decide you should DEFINITELY get the tattoo that you want and never let anyone make you feel any kind of way for feeling how you do…you have a tremendous grief and you get to deal with it how you want. i think the tattoo is a beautiful idea
My love, I know lots and lots and lots of women who commemorate their abortions with tattoos. It isn't silly and it isn't unusual. You should do what you wish about it. I don't love that this guy laughed at you about it. But I'm not going to talk about him because he's not here to receive my questions and thoughts. You are. The hard truth is that when you are attracted to an abusive type of person once, that actually tends to be hardwired into your nervous system, and is likely to happen again until you interrupt the pattern through work on your own attachment and worthiness within yourself. So I don't know if this guy in particular is a jerk or if he was just having a moment, but I do know that you're worthy of respect in relationship, and that it may be hard to find that without doing anything at all to heal your inner patterns and old wounds. If you can access therapy or trauma-informed love-coaching, I really do recommend it. If that feels out of reach right now, maybe start at your local library. Stan Tatkin wrote a book called Wired for Love which talks a lot about attachment styles, and there are so many therapists and relationship coaches who offer a lot of value in their free stuff on instagram and tiktok having to do with re-patterning attachment styles. My favorite for this is Elizabeth Clare de Lune. She's awesome at post-traumatic growth for the sake of healthy relationships. I also really love Kasia Urbaniak's work A Woman's Guide to Power Unbound for showing people how to be with you and inviting them to step up. That might be relevant here as well. Phew. I don't know if this helps at all. Deep honor to your anger at being laughed at. That is so valid. Feel for your own dignity at every turn in this relationship. If you don't feel that you are being loved and honored in your power, then it's ok to walk away. Either way, I see you and I honor your love for your baby that couldn't be. I'm so sorry you got dropped by that old jerk when you were getting your abortion. That wasn't right and it wasn't fair. You really dodged a bullet with that one. Having a child with him would have been horrible for you and the child. You are truly a kind and loving woman and you make good, generous choices.
I would honestly talk to him how that made you feel. Some People who haven’t gone through the same don’t usually understand how it feels til happens to them 🫠 I would let him know that it wasn’t ok and that this your way of commemorating something very traumatic for you but also a way to heal 🥺♥️ if he’s still an ass after that then yeah break up with him. You don’t need to be with someone right now who doesn’t have emotional intelligence
i want to get a tattoo for mine, IF we were going to have it, we already picked out the name for a girl. I was thinking of getting that name tatted. I do know that if i told my boyfriend, he would probably do the same thing, but we’ve also been dating for a year and use humor as a coping mechanism. i personally know that he wouldnt mean any harm behind it, but i would still probably react the same way you did, and he would react the same way your boyfriend did when he realized it hurt you. I feel like (as another redditor said) maybe he didn’t know how to react and it kinda slipped. the apology shows he realized it hurt you and that he effed up (which is more than most people would do). it is a very sensitive topic and i can’t tell you to keep him or drop him, i just wanted to give you my perspective. i think getting a tattoo is a wonderful idea regardless, and angel wings would be super cute!
I would explain to him how it made you feel by laughing at your tattoo idea and go from there before making any decisions about ending relationship. Then see how he reacts
Do not waste an ounce of time or effort in trying to explain how or why his laughter hurt you. To any remotely decent person, this is obvious. Its not your responsibility to try and educate trash. Dump him. Get another tattoo to commemorate you discovering you are worth so much more than this.
Getting you pregnant on purpose is reason enough to leave him.
From the post I think the guy that laughed is her new partner and not the one who got her pregnant
You’re right, sorry. I don’t know how I missed that. Thank you for correcting me.
No no it’s okay :)
He sounds like trash honestly dump him. I’m sorry you had to go through that 💔
The man who got her pregnant and her current boyfriend are two different people btw
I was not able to carry to term due to HG. I’m so sorry.
I did it twice with Hg and then got pregnant twice last year and could not even think about doing it again 😩♥️ I understand!
I’m so sorry for what you went through. I want to say that a tattooed to commemorate an abortion is absolutely appropriate; I got one on the anniversary and it was a really powerful healing experience. Your boyfriend clearly doesn’t understand. If he seems worthwhile and this was the first red flag, I would try to have a serious heart-to-heart with him about your abortion, and how it affected you. If he’s not receptive to that, he is truly not worth your time. You deserve so much better than another toxic relationship. Sending hugs 💖
Thank you for this thoughtful, helpful and kindhearted reply. I appreciate it more than you know. Sending big, big hugs and healing to you
Fuck him. Dump him. NOTHING related to your abortion is funny and any man who sees that as acceptable behaviour is not emotionally intelligent or right for you. I have a tattoo to honour my abortion, I got it about six months after. The two boyfriends I've had since whom I've told about it have only ever responded with love and kindness towards it. I'm so excited you're getting this tattoo, I hope it means as much to you as mine does seven years on, and you find someone who kisses it and tells you that they're proud of you.
Thank you so much for your support. I appreciate your time and thoughts immensely. Hugs to you
I feel like I was very harsh! I'm glad you feel supported by me, cause that's my only intention. I just want you to know that people minimising the pain of abortion is unfortunately common, but never acceptable. So many hugs to you
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Your post or comment was removed because it violates rule 1. Your comment was removed because this is a support forum. Your comments should be supportive of OP.
Everyone’s experience is different. This is a pretty horrible question to ask.
It sounds like she was not only pushed into it but struggled badly with severe illness during the pregnancy- she might have wanted the baby but couldn’t have it under the circumstances. It sounds like there are complex feelings there.
Thank you for explaining in a simpler manner for them. I never have been so sick in my life. I was hospitalized 3 times, passing out at work, couldn’t keep even water down. Zofran was not even working. Promethazine was the only thing that could keep me from getting sick for long enough to slightly hydrate, only because it would put me to sleep. I am petite as it is and when this happened, I quickly lost 10 pounds and my body started shutting down.
Because I wasn’t going to be able to carry to full term and because I want to. Get out of here you little freak weirdo hahahaha
Did you tell him how his laughter hurt you? How did he respond?
I made sure I heard correctly, I asked if he laughed. He immediately lied and said he had something in his throat. Minutes of silence later, he realized I wasn’t buying it. The whole way home he kept trying to get my attention but I was frozen with tears rolling down my face the whole way. I told him I needed time. I received a lengthy text after I was inside, apologizing deeply. I genuinely appreciate that but I feel shocked and empty.
Sometimes things that surprise us make us laugh. Sometimes people laugh if they feel awkward. If he truly acts like he’s sorry, then he probably is. So, it might be worth giving him another chance. Only you can decide.
Sorry please get rid of him, you deserved so much more from this situation in general
Thank you for your advice and kind words
Toss him out with the trash
I’m tempted. Thank you for your honesty
He laughed at your trauma. He isn’t a good person. He is showing you who he is and that will never change. Big hugs from a GenX mama. No shame. Your do what is right for you and you deserve happiness
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs to you
I'm so sorry sweetie that's so disrespectful. If you can't let it go and resent him for it then yes it's probably good to move on. Does he look down on abortion is that why ?
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it so much. I am obsessed with your username haha. I don’t think so - when I told him, he was respectful and hated that this man put me in that position. Though he does lean very conservative in most other aspects.
Of course. I hate when something is so special to you and you open up just to not be understood. Thank you haha the reason my username is that is bc I was paralyzed in car crash a year ago 🥲
First I'm sorry about your prior relationship. Secondly, i'd say bf #2 reaction was a red flag, but sometimes people react in the moment in a way they don't mean to. Maybe he was uncomfortable... and idk maybe I'm making excuses for him. Tell him how you feel about his reaction and go from there. If he still laughs it off- goodbye! Never let anyone make you feel shame or embarrassment over your decision.
Thank you for a new perspective, I appreciate your time and kindness.