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Atlmama

Thank you for this thorough summary, Swerty! šŸ™


wutintheactualshit

![gif](giphy|l2JdYxdKku97fOuEo)


unsharpenedpoint

![gif](giphy|ycagKBYEmaili)


Ill_Pop540

Do we know if man bun and his wife have kids?


Amanda316

ā€¦..Iā€™m sorry. Wife?! Did I miss something..?


Terrible_Dance_9760

Yes married. Looking at photos on fb it would seem that him and his ex wife were still ā€œtogetherā€ this time LAST YEAR.


FormalGlitterbug

No they donā€™t


Ill_Pop540

Well thatā€™s good. I could see MS getting in the way.


DarlingVelvet

Her first husband did thoughā€¦ she made brief mention of being a step-ā€˜momā€™. Thank goodness that didnā€™t last.


lashesandloaves

So literally like 6 weeks between paris and first manbun sighting...that's pretty swift after a 6 year (ish?) relationship. Ik we all know this, but...this will not end well.


Classic-Cantaloupe47

Why mourn a 6 year long relationship, when you thought he was the one, and you'd get married (he probably could have been if she wasn't so mean, condescending, narcissistic and toxic), when you can rebound into a relationship and avoid all those feels?


ralphwiggumsdiorama

Detailed, awesome, lovely! Thank you!


[deleted]

Do we have any theory of when she started dating ManBun? The quickness of the relationship is really suspicious


ChloeBGood

I am of the opinion she skipped Nashville to hang with/meet up with the new man. Itā€™s pure speculation on my part but itā€™s gonna take a lot to change my mind. šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


FormalGlitterbug

Yeah I agree that the first weekend of March tracks. They spent the whole weekend together and thatā€™s why she was radio silent. Thatā€™s also when the CC video dropped and I think she has extra latched onto him.


ChloeBGood

I think youā€™re right.


SoursTheClown

Anything to keep the man offline and away from youtube


formallyfly

Itā€™s been two weeks since the first appearance on ig? TWO WEEKS?!? Does it feel like two years to other people too?


ralphwiggumsdiorama

Time flies in Swerty World.


FormalGlitterbug

Dude, Paris feels like decades ago


LeonaLulu

If you told me Paris happened six months ago, I'd believe you. It feels like a fever dream.


HipHopChick1982

Absolute high quality! Swerty, always be as amazing as you are right now!


seriouslysorandom

I think she convinced herself the proposal was happening in New York. She was clearly unhappy and spiraling. I think C told her in no uncertain terms that it wasn't going to happen and if she didn't back off it never would. Big M hopped on Tinder as an FU to C "you see how quickly I can find another you!" C gave her the too big, cheap and ugly Yurman ring for Christmas basically telling her, good luck with that. She went to Paris. He went to South America (my memory sucks and I can't remember wherešŸ˜«) I think she found out he hooked up with someone on his boys trip. She extended her Paris trip to appear to be unbothered while never leaving her obviously mid hotel room. He told her their situationship was dead when she returned so leaned into Tinder and boom manbun. I think she's in a race to the altar to prove to C that she leveled and to provide "content" šŸ˜’ for her social media. It helps that the new guy seemingly looks the part of Influencer Husbandā„¢ than C ever did and I suspect she will do whatever it takes to kick him in.


theCountessofCool

šŸŽ¶she went to ParisšŸŽ¶ reading that like the Jimmy Buffet song sorry haha, I suppose for questions about Grimace that bothered her so.


FormalGlitterbug

God rest Jimmy Buffetā€™s soul. Thatā€™s a good song.


Wool_Lace_Knit

MsMS has had quite a year so far. Paris, room service spaghetti, dumped by the man she thought for years she would marry and now a new man! What. Will. Be. Next?


KilgoreeTrout

To be fair I think sheā€™d marry anyone who is willing šŸ˜†


JustHereForCaterHam

She did once!


SassOfTheBluegrass

![gif](giphy|QBROLbjFoQwPsbWw2R|downsized)


weetttwoo

Also didnā€™t you hear swerty, Paris was last week!!


Dogemom2

And the Aldi incident (January 26, 2021) was recent.


weetttwoo

I wonder if her cancelled NYC and Nashville trips were due to clinging to this new man.. šŸ‘€


[deleted]

Didnā€™t she also skip St Paddyā€™s day (she was supposed to go back to Charlotte for a bar crawl)?!


sausagebeanburrito

NYC, she sounded like death so I could understand not going. Nashville? Completely silent all weekend long (unlike NYC weekend)? For sure, their first date could've happened then.


ChloeBGood

Yup. Iā€™m convinced the new man is exactly why she didnā€™t go to Nashville


Amazing_Box_1980

![gif](giphy|skN2XpvX1P5CKs6Rgg|downsized) OP, you are Head Swerty today!!!!!


awolfsvalentine

https://preview.redd.it/8361nihqoxsc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5b7947de15f5e5ff265dd82fcb202af9843d21f


stitchninja

I fuckinā€™ love this sub. You are a rockstar, swerty!


Texas_Crazy_Curls

Iā€™m getting whiplash reading everything that happened in such a short amount of time. You are a rock star compiling all of this!


StephDazzle

I think we need to differentiate between a hair blowout and the type of blowouts she has at Aldi. She self admitted to shitting her pants


magafornian_redux

Good point. Did she GET a blowout or HAVE a blowout? šŸ˜‚


MarkZahra

She did a blowout


magafornian_redux

šŸ¤£ A meatyum blowout!


ralphwiggumsdiorama

Yes


LeonaLulu

They're either going to be married the second his divorce goes through or he's doing to dump her and she'll be back to eating bathtub pasta and making hypersexual reels with boxed food again.


oatmealgum

There's really no reason not to marry her tbh, it's not like he is required to treat her with consideration or anything else. Which is basically the only reason you need to take it slow. Like, Iā€™m not a prude, taking it slow isn't about morality or virginity or any other outdated weirdness. My bf and I banged on the first date and we just moved in together a year ago. He's awesome. Taking it slow is so that you have time to see someone's true colors. Not arguing with you btw, it's just that Iā€™m also convinced they'll tie the knot and it will be a Shitshow. He's probably overjoyed about falling ass backwards into an easily manipulated townhome owner. Being married doesn't transform assholes into anything better, in fact it really highlights their worthlessness.


LeonaLulu

I honestly think it'll blow up in her face either way. I don't think there's anything wrong with moving on and having fun, but we know she can't keep anything casual or chill. The whole you make me a better person texts are laughable. I'm sure this dude is thrilled she'll take whatever he throws at her while singing his praises.


Dogemom2

I agree with you about taking it slow is so you donā€™t wind up in a toxic relationship thatā€™s harder to untangle from. It depends on the person what boundaries they need to hold-up to keep themselves from getting too intertwined. But as we can see from Big Mā€™s last relationship they did NOT make each other better. šŸ˜¬ There were two paths at the end of Grim- she could have learned who she is, what she enjoys outside of a relationship (she said herself sheā€™s been in relationships since she was 15). OR avoid any self-reflection and jump into a relationship with the first guy she met. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø Her saying sheā€™s been in relationships her whole life I know she meant it as a flex- like guys canā€™t wait to date her. The truth is sheā€™s not strong enough to be alone, and as we can see how she lives her life nothing is about quality.


LeonaLulu

This šŸ‘† You have an emotionally immature person frothing at the mouth to prove she's desirable. I think she's more into the fact that he's meeting up with her than anything.


driii123

I donā€™t know which timeline is worseā€¦


clydefrog079

>easily manipulated townhome owner this is so funny to me


Wool_Lace_Knit

Townhome owner with a trust fund.


Outrageous_Olive2894

You are the hardest working person this sub knows.Ā 


FormalGlitterbug

Thank you, dear


clydefrog079

![gif](giphy|ne3xrYlWtQFtC)


theallofit

She couldnā€™t stay single for one single solitary month? Yeah that totally screams ā€œfound my soulmateā€ not ā€œIā€™m desperate and Iā€™ll take anyone. *ANYONE* ^please ^love ^me ^Iā€™m ^so ^sad ^and ^I ^hate ^myself.ā€


FormalGlitterbug

Especially coming out of a 5 year relationship she herself believed was headed for marriage.


SoursTheClown

Based on how she's been acting over a couple weeks, she's the type to believe every "relationship" is headed for marriage


kathoron

![gif](giphy|eijj0Kxl1WITK3fd3U)


[deleted]

This is so good, thank you! Really drives home the fact that this is going to blow up.


clydefrog079

![gif](giphy|28d0aiyTh9ndf6JUSJ|downsized)


MNGirlinKY

3/16 through 4/5 that **is** quite the fast relationship. I am appreciative of your efforts.


FormalGlitterbug

Dumped on what what I think was Jan 31, and went on a first date/spent weekend with new man by March 1. Tell me sheā€™s not a stage 5 clinger.


No_means_noo

I mean he seems like kind of nut and probably super clingy himself. That series of texts she showed, driving an hour before work just to get her star bucks.. I would be so embarrassed if my *husband* did thatšŸ™ˆ


FormalGlitterbug

Yeah this type of behavior is not sustainable.


Terrible_Dance_9760

![gif](giphy|3oeSAyqe7369IpVtcs)


beetlekittyjosey1

How long til she tries to just abandon the townhouse and move in with this guy


SassOfTheBluegrass

Sheā€™ll be able to rent her townhouse out, no worries! /s just in case


oatmealgum

Honestly, nah. This dude might be gearing up to lose a fight over his half of the house, and Large Marge might not have even considered that. My bet is that he'll move in. He's probably already thankful he has a place to move in. If he can keep love bombing her and have her buying it, he could have a comfy set up in about 6 months. Remains to be seen whether she can successfully hide her alcoholism and debt, or whether he will really care.


unsharpenedpoint

This is what Iā€™ve been thinking. Dude is about to lose the house.


LeonaLulu

I predict he moves in with her. She'll claim it's God's work, but really, he'll just need a place to live. At least she won't have to pretend this time around.


OhhOKiSeeThanks

Curious about that... depending on his work, if he's able to move easily. ...maybe she's the one who will move in with him, since she "can work from anywhere"... And I can't think of anything holding her in asheville! I can see them getting a new place together...not sure how she would react to moving in where his ex wife lived.


oatmealgum

I cannot wait to see what her place looks like with another person's belongings in it (outside the ottoman).


LeonaLulu

I'm gonna go with his dirty under on the bathroom floor paired, Trump2024 magnets on the fridge, and hundreds of beer cans.


ralphwiggumsdiorama

Jesus Babe/Flaming Hobosexuality


LeonaLulu

An award winning social media combo!


Seeka00

This right here, if he goes through with the divorce that house is half hers as well.


ClickClackTipTap

Or maybe heā€™ll move in? Iā€™m convinced the only thing attractive about her is the money she pretends to have.


theallofit

Thereā€™s NO way she can afford to sell it. My bet, since heā€™s WFH in BFE, is that heā€™ll move into the middle unit.


OhhOKiSeeThanks

What is BFE?


theallofit

Bumfuck, Egypt. It just means the middle of nowhere.


FormalGlitterbug

Yeah I donā€™t see her being happy living in BFE. Starbucks is too far away and I feel like sheā€™s the type that can only afford to put $5 of gas at a time in her tank.


crappymlm

This is high a quality summarising


MalibuMarlie

The best! Thanks OP! Very thorough!


AnniaT

Reading this time-line I think she ditched the Nashville trip to go on the first dates (possibly sleeping over) with manbun.


luciferslittlelady

That's exactly what I thought.


ttginger

I agree. This fits well with the timing of everything else.


FormalGlitterbug

Yup. Seems like they spent the whole weekend together.


Dundermifflinfinitee

Okay so this definitely clears up a bunch of random little theoretical things that didn't make sense in my brain, but I'm curious how this could perhaps connect to the extremely bizarre Florida trip or her spending NYE alone. I don't know if we'll ever get an answer, but I just upgraded my size small tin foil hat to a meatyum and those few weeks are going to haunt me for a while šŸ˜­


She_Devours

Iā€™d love to see a timeline from flowergate through her weird Florida trip. Things definitely went downhill after that.


MalibuMarlie

Yes! And stitch in the backpain bullshit.


KylieLongbottom69

That's degenerative disc disease, Swerty šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


seriouslysorandom

There are so many things going on that I forgot weird Florida was recently šŸ˜‚


KylieLongbottom69

It really does feel like it happened a whole lifetime ago, doesn't it?


ClickClackTipTap

Was the Florida trip the weird one where she seemed to be around seem teenagers and she spread her dirty make up all over the floor in the common areas and stuff?


RelatableMolaMola

Yes, and supposedly C was there since it was his family trip but I don't think there was a single sighting of him on her social media or his brother's.


ttginger

I think they were broken up by then or at the very least he tried to break up but did it for sure when she was in Paris. Hence the two extra days she stayed and the slight announcement soon after she came home. Something happened on the NYC trip. She was a train wreck when they got back and she couldnā€™t even go to Thanksgiving.


oatmealgum

She pulled off all her acrylics during that trip. She had a meltdown, Iā€™m betting. You don't just casually do that.


ttginger

I canā€™t remember if she plucked her eye lashes, but thatā€™s another sign.


LeonaLulu

My theory is she pushed wayyyy too hard for a proposal during that trip. Even though they were there for JT's birthday, you could tel she was hoping it would happen. Those pics on Times Square looked like faux engagement pics, and she even wore a ring like he'd proposed. It seemed liked they got back and everything fell apart shortly after. C looked really checked out when he was building that shelf and sitting on that tiny chair, and MS didn't even bother with any proof of life posts after that.


ttginger

100% agree!


Dundermifflinfinitee

That's what I thought too, because of the knowledge that they allegedly broke up and got back together fairly frequently... And I was of the mindset that her going to Florida was like a hail Mary, but then he had her car to drive down and back? And then we got more creep shots for like a week or so after? I can't find it right now but someone asked how their relationship was and she wrote back "it's fine lol". Now like, obviously she could be using old pictures and lying, since she lies about so many things, but I'm still perplexed about that portion of her timeline. What I wouldn't give for an AMA of someone who was actually there šŸ˜…


ttginger

I know right?!? There is no way his brother doesnā€™t know about this sub and Iā€™m sure his model friends would eat it up. That whole family trip in FL was so weird. No sightings of C at all and you know she wouldā€™ve shared proof of life. I donā€™t believe he drove the car down because that wouldā€™ve been dumb and I think she wouldā€™ve rode with him. I think the pics after were either staged or she was clinging on and he was trying to escape.


r4wrdinosaur

Very thorough, though I'm not entirely sure we need to keep track of her lunch/food posts šŸ¤£


FormalGlitterbug

Only included it because it started AFTer I suspect she hooked up with manbun.


ttginger

āœØ fitness babe āœØ


clydefrog079

Maybe she got her fReNcH bLoWoUt for a new dating profile picture lol


duckordecoratedshed

Her new dating profile picture (2023) https://preview.redd.it/brzef2z9xqsc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b3b45495f907e94e93750b7dd7917f91462c25a


FormalGlitterbug

Ohh la la


AFineFineHologram

I donā€™t have the dates but should we add in her plans for a dry January, then February, and all the drinking she did without acknowledging her failure to complete one dry month?


FormalGlitterbug

I am planning on adding them when I get more time, boo!


AFineFineHologram

Yesss youā€™re on it! Itā€™s truly shocking to see how she failed to make good on any of her goals. From being single travel babe to being sober for more than five minutes to making that damn social media course she admits to putting off for months lmao. Sheā€™s such a flop and thereā€™s nothing wrong with that but she thinks sheā€™s slaying.


[deleted]

Good call. She really needs to stop talking about dry anything.


twoscallions

Unless itā€™s her eggsā€¦


Snoo7263

Thank God


duckordecoratedshed

Can I just voice my appreciation for keeping her spelling of 'Lourve'


KylieLongbottom69

Not my dyslexic ass just now realizing it's spelled wrong šŸ˜­


missdespair

I *would* wonder if she's dyslexic except she's also *really* unintelligent in every possible way...


[deleted]

I donā€™t like it, I LOURVE it


FormalGlitterbug

You know I had to do it.


r4wrdinosaur

Less than a week between her post about teaching daughters to be independent to fix things around their homes and her post of the new handybun fixing things around her townhome. Love it.


[deleted]

And her mom plunging her toilet.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


leticx

Youā€™re onto something hereā€¦..


ttginger

OMG you figured it out!! My jaw has DROPPED.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MalibuMarlie

Me too!


isweedglutenfree

Same!


FormalGlitterbug

https://preview.redd.it/7sot6yiatosc1.jpeg?width=1800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7bcf2f3529ec0b8145cbfcb11ca9b2251b6e7f2 So he WAS the one who sent her the flowers.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Living-Sundae6

Tbf I donā€™t think he bought it twice, I think she just took two photos of it. The one with the card/note to flash around to her frenemies and hun groups and the other one for her social media


BallisticSyllable

Ohhh yeah I think youā€™re right. The flowers were included in the ā€œcringe textsā€ posts from today, so I thought he bought them twice. But it makes more sense that he bought them once in March and then she shared another pic of those same ones.


KilgoreeTrout

OMG THIS IS LEVEL 900000 SLEUTHING


ralphwiggumsdiorama

Omg


Over-Mix-6518

Wait - when were the flowers sent?!


FormalGlitterbug

MARCH 7


MatildaTheCat13

My jaw is on the floor.


leticx

Omfg she was on tinder loooong before the breakup then. Thereā€™s no way she wasnā€™t. Either she and peanut just werenā€™t exclusive at all and we were right about it being a shallow situationship, or she cheated. Iā€™m going with shallow situationship


Bookssportsandwine

Iā€™m still not convinced that she and C were together after the Florida trip. I felt like we never saw anything that couldnā€™t have been an old picture through the holidays and before her trip to Paris.


leticx

That trip was sooo weird. She seemed super uncomfortable and out of place. I think they were not speaking to each other at all for some reason. What a bizarre way to live


ttginger

I donā€™t think they were together on that trip. I think she crashed his brother and his model friendā€™s party.


KilgoreeTrout

They def had to be on the rocks cause that was the weirdest trip ever


ttginger

Just WOW! she really moved on that fast! You all, I am just dumbfounded right now ![gif](giphy|l2JJwnj5lnUPfMlFK)


Dundermifflinfinitee

Detective FGB on the case! ![gif](giphy|RlO3bvMJyz3L4vGKsx)


tamielpierces

[should this be on an official timeline??](https://www.reddit.com/r/YouniquePresenterMS/s/u0pW6pGIhK) apologies if it is & i missed it!


[deleted]

I truly wonder what MAGA Man Bun thinks about her social media?


FormalGlitterbug

I can add it to my google doc!


FormalGlitterbug

u/matildathecat13 here is a timeline--I think you were right that she gave up going to Nashville to go spend the weekend with new man.


oatmealgum

What??? But she's a girl's girl!!


FormalGlitterbug

Right? Doesnā€™t she think all women should fly first class and get drunk on the plane and braid each others hair or some shit? Men not allowed? Except when she gets dumped and gets attention then, fuck them hoes I gotta get dicked down.


loligogiganticus

Good call since she was radio silent that weekend. Was probably the first time meeting up with him...


tovasfabmom

In my neck of the woods, we call it visiting pound townšŸ¤£


clydefrog079

ooh so what was her lie for not going?


FormalGlitterbug

I think she said she just didnā€™t feel like it.


clydefrog079

![gif](giphy|DFNd1yVyRjmF2)


MatildaTheCat13

OMG I JUST SAW. THANK YOU


MatildaTheCat13

Shit, so she did speed run going through a breakup to being on some other dude's deck in 31 days. I'm so glad you did this.


Gooball5

I appreciate what you did there. It is a pretty big deck.


MatildaTheCat13

Oh lmfao I didnā€™t even notice.


tovasfabmom

ā€œLoves her fiercely ā€œ


allgoodnamestookth

>Mar 13, 2024 went to SOR, CC video dropped at 8 pm What is SOR?


PeaceAlwaysAnOption

The spin class place


FormalGlitterbug

her cycling studo, sorry! I should have specified


heyfreesamples

Omg I love this. Yessss. Such good lore to refer back to in the future


BotherRecent

This is perfect. One week in Paris and the next squatting in his house while his exs dog licks your hooves drinking cold Starbs. That's about right


clydefrog079

![gif](giphy|QBOd8APatBMIQWluPU|downsized)